Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

PANTHER: Uh, ahem...

Say, Jones, did you issue the notice to our employees

announcing our annual golf tournament?

Yes, sir, and all the men seem very enthused about it.

Oh, that's fine.

There's nothing like golf to keep a man physically fit.

Yes, sir. Oh.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[PHONE RINGS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Panther speaking.

What?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'll take care of it immediately.

I'm sick and tired of having complaints from our customers

about late deliveries.

My own golf club just called me about an order

they placed three days ago.

Why can't we make deliveries?

We've been having trouble in the delivery department,

but I just hired three new men.

And everything's going to be all right now. I hope.

Well, it better be. Where are these new men?

I'd like to see them. Right out there, sir.

Ease up.

Come on, take it away.

Take it away.

[YELLS] Hey, take it easy!

[WHOOPING]

Don't worry, I got it.

MOE: Yeah. Yeah. What'll I do with it?

MOE: Hold on, that'll be the first one we deliver.

[SCREAMS]

How's that?

Fine.

Oh, my neck!

How does it feel now?

All right. That's good.

Come on, what's the matter with you, are you nuts?

Take it away. Take it away.

Hey, what's this?

What do you know about that? What?

A hundred bucks. A hundred bucks?

A hundred bucks? Count me in.

Second prize, $50. Third prize, $25.

Fourth prize, a keg of beer.

When is it? What do we have to do?

Shoot golf.

Oh, hunting.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Get outta here.

I'll show you all about this golf stuff. See, uh...

You grab yourself a long stick with a gimmick on the end of it,

like that, not as big as that.

You walk up to the batting place, see?

And then you take a mighty swing.

Oh!

Come on.

STOOGES: Oh!

[SCREAMING]

Get outta here and get going you!

New men!

MOE: All right, get two barrels off.

What do you know, we're right in the middle of one.

The middle of what? A golf place.

I don't see any golfs.

Ooh! Look at the golfs.

Now's our chance in sneaking an hour's practice.

And it's a cinch to win that hundred bucks. Come on.

Wait. How we gonna shoot golfs without guns?

Come on, Buffalo Bill.

[YELLING]

Pardon me, gentlemen.

You mean, us? Yes.

Are you members of the press?

Why, uh... I used to be.

But I didn't do any pressing.

I went through the pockets, sort of a dry-cleaning.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Get outta here.

Why, you gentlemen misunderstand.

Why, this tournament is just for

ladies and gentlemen of the press.

Well, I...

Press. Yes, sir.

Press. Okay, sir.

Press. Yes, sir.

Press. Yes, sir.

I'll take care of things now.

You go and see the tobacco table is set.

Yes, sir. Right.

[HUMMING]

Press.

Press.

Pull.

Hey, you, uh...

[CURLEY WHOOPING]

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Boy, that was quick thinking. Yes.

Pardon me.

Hey, this looks like a kids' game.

They're wearing short pants. Why don't you be quiet?

That's the kind of clothes they wear in this game.

Come on.

I shot a perfect 78.

Yeah, for the first hole.

No, really. It was a riveting game.

I'll bet it was. Lord Douglas, he made...

Say...

Where's my golf pants?

How should I know? I had them here when I...

Where are my shoes? Well, mine too.

And where's my socks?

[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

I shot a birdie yesterday.

You did? That's great.

Well, Jasper, what did you shoot yesterday?

I shot a seven, but they wouldn't give me the money.

Ha, ha, ha. You did? Yeah.

That's great. Ha, ha, ha.

Come on. You know what I shot?

Yeah. Go get a bag of bats, killer. Come on.

[CLUBS RATTLE]

I'm very sorry, sir.

[STOOGES CHATTERING]

MOE: Hiya, boys. Nice day for golf, ain't it?

Quiet, please. Oh, you got secrets, eh?

Sorry, old man. You're in the trap.

Trap? What do they catch around here?

Pests.

Oh, they got them here too?

Go ahead, get started. All right.

Say, you know you're supposed to follow us?

We don't follow nobody.

I should say not. Come on, fellas.

A lot of open ground out here, let's go this way.

Think you own the place?

Those guys are just beginners.

You're telling me? Yeah.

Watch this, fellas.

There it is.

Quiet. Go ahead, porcupine.

Hey, you, fore!

Five. Six.

Seven. Sold to the man

with the spittoon haircut.

Oh, getting personal, eh? Yeah.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

[HUMMING]

Oh.

[MOANING]

[WHOOPING]

Look, I hit it.

Oh. What happened?

Nothing.

Oh-oh.

Look.

It fell in the hole.

Just my luck.

MOE: Hi, toots.

Pardon me before you bat that ball.

Did you pick up my ball?

Most assuredly not.

Uh, pardon me, did you pick up my ball?

I should say not. Say, uh...

Did you pick up the gentleman's ball?

Why, no. Oh, I did not.

You did not what? I still didn't.

[WHOOPING]

[WOMEN GIGGLING]

Pick out your ball, stranger.

I think this is it.

MAN: Come along, girls, we'll go.

Spread out.

Oh, a wise guy? A head-clunker, eh?

It came from... Get outta here.

He didn't do it. Then you did.

[MOANING]

Get out. Get out before I...

Oh, a washing machine.

I didn't know it was Monday.

[HUMMING]

[CONTINUES HUMMING]

[GASPS]

What are you doing? My washing.

Oh, Lady Godiva, eh?

Hey.

All the samey, washy shirty?

Hey. Any of your clothes on that line?

No. Then stay out of it.

[SCREAMS] What do you want?

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Ooh! Oh! Ah! Quiet.

[WHIMPERING]

Pardon me, did you see my ball?

Yeah. It's up in the tree.

[WHOOPING]

[WHOOPING CONTINUES]

[YELLS]

[SCREAMS]

What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you?

Chopping down a tree! You think you're George Wash?

Say, say, what's the matter?

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

I tell my boss.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey, what's the matter? What are you doing?!

What are you...? Chop-a, chop-a, chop-a.

What are you doing? You gotta shovel here.

Uh, quiet now, will ya? I'm getting better, see?

The pieces are getting smaller.

I call the police. He's crazy. Oh!

Uh, boss-a, boss-a!

So is your old man!

It's a pick and a shovel, it's no golf.

They use-a the axe, and they chop-a the tree.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

That's them over there.

He... He's pointing to where you are.

You mean, he's pointing where I was.

Come on, let's go.

[YELLING]

To them over there.

[ALL CLAMORING]

[WHOOPING] [ENGINE STARTS]

[ALL CLAMORING]

Nyuk, nyuk... Oh!

Wait! We lost a barrel!

What's the matter?

There goes one. How do you like that? Come on!

MOE: Stop that barrel! Hey, get it.

Come on, hurry up.

[CURLEY WHOOPS]

STOOGES: Whoa!

I'll get this one. All right?

[ALL YELLING]

CURLEY: Whoo! LARRY: Whoa.

Ooh! Whoa!

MOE: Come on, hurry up!

[YELLS]

[WHOOPING]

[HORNS HONKING]

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk...

[WHIMPERING]

[YELLING]

[YELLS]

Whoa!

Easy now. Easy.

[YELLS]

Ah.

Oh, will you get out of there?!

Yeah, help me get out, would you?

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

MAN: What's happening, huh?

Come on! [SCREAMING]

What are you...? Get me outta here.

Nothing doing. You think we're going in there?

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk...

[BOTH YELL]

Boy, if I could get my hand out of this,

I'd crack your head open.

Can't get it off? No.

Sure? Positive.

Agh!

Ooh.

[WHOOPING]

[♪♪♪]