Original subtitles

Finally! Could you close the door, please?

- Yeah, close the door! - Just sit down!

As you guys may or may not know, it's Pops' birthday tomorrow.

I was planning on getting him something nice

from the arts and crafts fair last Saturday,

but, nothing really stood out.

Has anybody gotten him anything yet?

No.

Why am I not surprised?

Ideas? Anybody?

How about one of them Jeff Forgeman grills?

That's actually not a bad idea,

but Pops has been watching his cholesterol.

Doctor's orders. What else?

How about we get him some new gardening tools?

Well, maybe.

It's just, he gets new gardening tools all the time.

What about some horseback lessons?

Please tell me you're joking.

Well, no. Isn't he into that?

Don't you remember?

That's the exact same gift we got him last year.

Psht!

Don't "psht" me! I don't hear you coming up with anything!

Yeah, but at least I didn't say the same thing we got him last year!

Hello? May I please enter?

Just a second!

Okay. You can come in now.

Oh! What's everybody doing in here?

Oh, hey Pops. We were just...

going over the schedule.

No!

We were talking about how no one knows what to get you for your birthday.

Muscle Man, what are you doing?!

I'm saying what's on my mind, bro.

I'm just real like that.

You want to know what to get me for my birthday?

Well, that's quite simple.

What is it, Pops?

A pair of fuzzy dice from the Fun Fun Zone.

Fuzzy dice?

Yes! They're so much fun!

But alas, the only way to get them is to win a million tickets.

I'm afraid I'm not very good at throwing Skeeze Ballz.

Well, fuzzy dice it is.

Yeah, but I'm not going to the Fun Fun Zone.

Yeah, me neither. I can't stand that place.

All those nasty kids...

Yeah, and talk about sub-standard pizza.

And what about that annoying animatronic band?

Awful. Alright, alright.

Look, I don't like the Fun Fun Zone any more than you do.

But if Pops wants those fuzzy dice,

then we're gonna get him those fuzzy dice!

Let's get this over with.

Excuse me! Where do you think you're going?

We're just here to get some fuzzy dice.

I'm sorry, but you must accompany at least one child to enter.

Aw, come on! We're just here buy the dice and leave.

Oh, I can't bend the rules for you, sir.

Because it just wouldn't be a "Fun Fun Zone" without fun fun rules.

Man, how are we supposed to get those dice now?

I think I have an idea.

Hey, I already told you that you need a kid to get in!

What's up, man?

Okay! Go on in, folks! Have a great time!

Let's just find the dice and get out of here.

May I help you?

Yeah, hi. We would like a pair of fuzzy dice, please.

That'll be one million tickets.

No. We're actually gonna be paying with cash.

How much is that gonna be? Ten, fifteen bucks?

One million tickets, sir.

If you like all our prizes, our items are on the wall.

Well, can we just buy the tickets?

Tickets are a penny each.

Nice, what's that, like, ten bucks?

Dude, it's not ten bucks. It's ten thousand dollars.

Wow, really?

Alright, bad news, everybody.

We're gonna to have to win some tickets if we're gonna get those dice.

Yeah, we were right here the whole time.

It's go time!

Alright, guys, I got some bad news.

We're 20,000 tickets short of the fuzzy dice.

And what's worse, is that we only have one token left.

But I've noticed one game that

gives us a lot more tickets than all the others.

Skeeze Ballz.

This will have to be a team effort.

The faster we go, the more chances to throw the balls we get.

So I want everyone to line up, and when the balls drop--

When the game starts,

you throw, and get back in line.

Now let's roll!

Hurry!

Come on, Mordecai, sink it!

One million tickets.

What would you like?

We'll take the fuzzy dice.

For Pops.

- Alright, for Pops! - Fuzzy dice for Pops!

We did it!

Now, we can give these to Pops.

Sorry, but you ain't giving nothing to nobody.

- What did you say? - What do you mean?

Aw, what?!

Let's get 'em!

Give us back the dice!

Give us... the... dice!

Back off, creep!

They're getting away!

Through there!

- Stop the car! - I'm trying!

Go, go, go!

What was that?!

Give us back our dice!

We won them fair and square!

There's no way you're getting these dice.

Now get out of the way before somebody gets hurt!

What could you possibly want with fuzzy dice?

Well, ten years ago, we knocked over at big city jewelers,

and we made off with millions worth of uncut diamonds.

And those diamonds are in those dice.

Shut up, Louie!

I remember reading about that!

- That was you? - Yeah, that's right.

We've been laying low for ten long years

waiting for the statute on limitations for grand larceny to run out.

And it was supposed to end tonight at midnight.

Until you clowns came along and ruined everything!

Can't we just have the dice without the diamonds?

It's too late. And you know too much.

Hey, give that back!

Alright! No more games!

No, don't!

This is the FBI. You're surrounded!

Get on the ground, now!

Targets are considered hostile, repeat, targets are considered hostile.

Copy that.

Uh, what do we do, boss?

We'll do what we were made to do:

show these folks a fun time.

Funny, I was thinking exactly the same thing.

Well then, I guess it's showtime!

Gun!

Eat that, sucker!

Smoke 'em.