Original subtitles

"Where's the ladies' room?" "More coffee, please."

"Does Antonio banderas live near here?"

We don't need to know how to say

"does Antonio banderas live near here?"

Yes, we do.

When we're in Spain,

we need to know how to say

"does Antonio banderas live near here?"

When in France, "does Johnny depp live near here?"

When in Rome, "does Gore vidal live near here?"

You look like me, yet my ways are completely lost on you.

Put that down. You've been studying all day.

I've got finals coming up.

I know you have finals coming up,

but you also have a piece of pie you're completely ignoring.

Let me end this chapter.

Oh, fine.

Hey, how important is

"help, I'm bleeding from the head"?

Just bring the phrase books.

If we learn all the phrases we won't have to lug around.

We'll never be able to learn all the phrases

in every language. Bring the books.

We can learn enough. Plus doesn't everybody

speak English there anyway?

Ugly American, party of one.

Fine, we'll bring the books.

Okay, five minutes for pie.

Finally.

They're here! I've got them!

You got what? The brochures for my college!

You seem chipper. I am.

I have decided to make

this whole 7-day adventist college experience a good one.

I'm gonna look on the bright side

and make myself some lemonade.

Oh, good for you. The campus looks pretty.

Very pretty.

It's got two huge parks

with gardens and lakes.

Two parks. One for boys, one for girls,

huh.

I originally thought this was gonna be a suffocating place

with out-of-date rules and insane restrictions,

but, boy, was I wrong.

For example, curfew is up to 9:30,

9:45, if you're going for your master's.

Makeup will be permitted

as long as it identically matches your skin tone,

and owning a rolling stones cd

is no longer grounds for expulsion.

You can work the demerits off in the campus-cleanup crew.

There's a separate park for boys?

My life is over. Oh, no, I didn't say that!

You didn't have to!

Well, it is over. It's not over.

Every kid in that brochure was awkward and panicked.

It looked like the academy award audience

during Michael Moore's speech.

Hey, why don't you add

"just sit there and look pretty"

to that list of yours, okay? I gotta go back to studies.

"Does that sexy guy in the peugeot ad

who had a bit part in 'armageddon' live near here?"

♪ If you're out on the road ♪

♪ feelin' lonely and so cold ♪

♪ all you have to do is call my name ♪

♪ and I'll be there on the next train ♪

♪ where you lead, I will follow ♪

♪ anywhere that you tell me to ♪

♪ if you need ♪

♪ you need me to be with you ♪

♪ I will follow ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ where you lead, I will follow ♪

♪ any, anywhere that you tell me to ♪

♪ if you need ♪

♪ you need me to be with you ♪

♪ I will follow where you lead ♪

hey.

Oh, God, Rory! You scared me. Sorry!

I've been sneaking around here like an idiot trying not to wake you up.

I've been up for hours. Why? Did you have a bad dream?

The one where you meet Christiane amanpour, and she's really stupid?

I realized last night that at this rate,

I will never finish all my work.

What work? What work? "What work?" She asks.

Well, you know me and that dippy Christiane...

takes us a little while to catch up.

Here. "Things to do before graduation."

A list! Of course!

"Study for finals, senior breakfast, senior awards,

"finish final edition of 'the Franklin, '

"organize a new student government,

convince Paris to give up student gavel..."

Oh, and I forgot man the yearbook-distribution table

this afternoon at the stupid senior palooza. Unbelievable!

Well, I'll be Manning the booster-club grad-night table, at the same time

so we can feel stupid and abused together.

I can't finish and sleep at the same time.

You have to sleep. It keeps you pretty.

Who cares about pretty if I fail?

Okay, you've got this so completely backwards.

What is all this?

I found that if I focus too much on one subject,

I start to get a little punchy.

This way, when I hit bolshevik revolution overload,

I shift over here, and, oh, hello, Anne bolynn is going down,

and then when that gets too depressing,

it's right over to calculus.

Saving the party subject for last, huh?

The shifting back and forth seems to produce better results.

I think you're pushing yourself too hard.

I made out a schedule. Every single moment of every single day

from now until graduation is accounted for.

You left off the kiwanis luncheon.

Are you sure? It's on Monday.

How could I forget the kiwanis luncheon?

They gave me their scholarship.

Oh, yes... $250 scholarship,

that'll keep you in microwave popcorn for a week.

I'll have to move something. And work grandma in.

Excuse me?

Grandma asked if I could help her pick a dress.

No. I have to.

My mother's been dressing for years,

she's yet to show up with bra outside her clothing.

She asked. I can't say no.

Tell her about the koala bears. She'll understand.

Please stop making fun of them.

We need every cent we can get. Yale is expensive.

I know Yale is expensive. We haven't heard from Yale's financial aid.

We will, relax.

We'd better hear from them soon

because I have a deposit to send in for my room,

and I have a bunch of supplies to buy.

I want to finish this before we go to Europe.

Otherwise, I'll be obsessing about it the entire time.

Okay. Listen, I'm gonna go out and get the paper.

Okay, don't show it to me

because I have no time for recreational reading

until June.

Could we move your chill session

from 4:00 tomorrow to right now?

That'd be great, thanks.

Okay, um, little tip...

the whole stalking thing works infinitely better

when you don't actually smash your face in the window.

I need to talk to you. Come inside.

Rory's in there!

Since when are you scared of Rory?

I just need to tell you something.

Can she hear us? Through the walls?

No, I put some kryptonite in her waffles.

Come over here.

You're freaking out the freaks this morning.

Jess is gone.

What? And I don't think he's coming back.

What do you mean gone? Like gone gone?

Exactly like gone gone.

But when? I don't know.

I went up to get some money from the safe,

and noticed his stuff was gone.

Oh, Luke, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, well, forget it. I'm through with him.

He's 18. He can do whatever the hell he wants.

He's on his own. I'm through.

Luke... No, it's a relief.

That kid was driving me crazy.

Let him see how far that smart mouth of his gets him

without someone watching his back.

I couldn't be more relieved.

I'm just worried about Rory.

I assume she doesn't know.

She hasn't said anything.

You want me to tell her?

No, I can do it. I just have to figure out when.

She's got a lot of things on her mind right now.

Don't wait too long. She'll notice eventually.

Yes. Okay.

Well, thanks for coming over.

No problem.

Luke?

I failed him.

You did not fail him.

You supported him. You defended him.

You gave him a chance, and if he chose not to take it,

there's nothing more you could do.

Yeah.

Well, I should go.

Do you have any idea where he went?

Yeah, I-I got a pretty good idea.

Hey, there is no chill time scheduled for 4:00 tomorrow,

and the one thing I really don't have time for

are your jokes, missy.

Later's good.

You need some help, friend?

No. Lived here 25 years.

I could certainly point you in a direction, make your journey easier.

Enjoy this beautiful day.

I'll have the alfalfa sprouts and a plate of mashed yeast.

♪ Catch a wave and you're sitting on top of the world ♪

♪ don't be afraid to try the greatest sport around ♪

♪ catch a wave ♪

♪ catch a wave ♪ ♪ everybody tries it once ♪

♪ those who don't just have to put it down ♪

♪ ooh-wah ooh-wah ooh-wah ooh-wah ♪

♪ you paddle out, turn around, and raise ♪

♪ and, baby, that's all there is to the coastline craze ♪

♪ you gotta catch a wave ♪

♪ you'll be sittin' on top of the ♪

♪ ooh-wah ooh-wah ooh-wah ooh-wah ♪

♪ catch a wave, you'll be sitting on top of the... ♪

♪ ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh LA LA LA ahh ♪

♪ ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪

yes, I've been holding for Mr. hennings.

I'm lorelai gilmore.

Oh, great, hi.

Listen, I just received this letter

saying that my daughter did not qualify

for financial aid... Rory gilmore.

Uh-huh.

Okay, yes, we did recently receive $75,000,

but here's the thing... that money is gone.

I gave it to my parents.

So I don't have it anymore. I swear.

You can come over here and search me.

We could open a bottle of wine and put on some motown and...

uh, yes, that was very inappropriate.

Look, I owed my parents that money

because they helped me put Rory through chilton,

and I wanted her to go to chilton

so that she could get into, well, Harvard,

but then Harvard became Yale... long story...

and now that she's gotten into Yale,

I paid them back for chilton,

which is kind of a funny, wacky circle

we could all laugh about someday.

Yes, but since I don't have the money anymore,

it just seems like it shouldn't count.

There must be something we can do.

Rory is the most deserving kid there is, seriously.

I don't know if you know the kiwanis,

but they gave her their scholarship, and...

mm-hmm.

I understand.

Okay.

Well, we'll just have to figure something out.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Hey! Hello! Is anybody home?! Hey!

Pipe down! You selling something?!

No, does Jimmy mariano live here?

Does he owe you money?

No, I'm his... Jess. I'm Jess.

Jess?

Jess mari...

Frodo, back off now!

I'm sorry, what were you saying?

I just want to see Jimmy, okay?

Hey, did you ever see the "wizard of oz"? Yes.

Remember when they go to the emerald city,

the guy with the beard stuck his head out,

they said that they wanted to see the wizard,

they said "she's got the Ruby slippers,"

and he said, "that's a horse of a different color"?

Yes.

I'm the guy with the beard saying no

unless you come up with Ruby slippers.

I'm his son. His son.

Yes, his son.

Well, that's a horse of a different color.

Come on in. Do they bite?

Just those two. Which two?! Hey! Which two?!

Great.

I swear I will bite you back.

I'm sorry. I didn't know you were coming.

Neither did I. I'm Sasha.

This is Angus, chowder, Rufus, legolas, caligula, mudball,

general Lee, Jimmy jam, Terry Lewis, and spot.

Jimmy's not here right now.

Okay, well, I could just hang out, walk around for a while.

Why don't you come in? I'll call his work.

Oh, well...

You have a lot of pets. No, they're not all mine.

Some of them followed me home. Some of them hang out.

Some of them just needed a place to crash.

They drive Jimmy crazy, actually,

but what can you do?

Someone's gotta take care of 'em, right?

I'm just gonna try and track him down so just wander.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay.

Lee, hi. I'm looking for Jimmy.

Okay, I'll hold.

Clowns, cats, dogs.

I wonder where his tap shoes are.

Whoa!

He wasn't at work, but he'll be back any second.

Lil, coco's gonna come over and stay with you while I'm gone, okay?

Put those books back in there when you're done.

Ready?

Yeah.

Hey!

The door.

Sorry.

Shut up. Jean jackets are out? How is that possible?

I just opened the magazine, and there it was.

This is horrible. Who decides these things?

Marie Claire, apparently.

I feel so helpless. Did you hear?

Jean jackets are out. Out of what?

Vogue. No... Marie Claire.

Whatever. We still can't wear them.

Thank you so much for passing out the yearbooks for me.

I really need the study time.

Do you want me to help bring the boxes?

Oh, we've got that taken care of.

Half way through. Hurry up, 'cause we need to get started.

Oh, my God, he carries those boxes sexy.

Hello? Rory, you haven't returned my call.

Oh, grandma, I'm so sorry. I've been really busy.

Young lady, you have to call your grandmother back.

I'm sorry. I won't be around forever, you know.

I'm really sorry. When are you coming over?

I need to discuss what to wear to your graduation.

How about a suit? A suit seems nice.

Perhaps it's too formal. Formal's fine.

What are you friends' families wearing?

I don't know.

Can you find out?

Um, sure, hold on.

Louise, what's your grandmother wearing to graduation?

Hopefully, the pearls I get when she kicks.

Why don't I just come over?

That would be wonderful. Today?

Yes, as soon as I can.

Bring a color swatch of your cap and gown so I don't clash.

Bye, grandma.

Hello? I just got another call from grandma.

Rory, no. I'm gonna go over there now.

And leave me here alone? Where are you?

I'm by the old spice ad.

Hi. Hi. Come over.

I have to go.

You can't talk for one second?

The minute I walk into that room,

I'm suddenly gonna have to sign yearbooks.

And since I'm crunched for time

I'll have to resort to

"hey, have a good summer.

Let's keep in touch. Best friends forever."

I do not want to be that person.

Plus, Paris will immediately Shanghai me.

You know what? You need to stop being intimidated by that girl.

You're going to college, for God's sake.

You need to be able to say, "Paris"...

hey! Paris.

What are you doing? Just... the phone rang...

your hair is really shiny.

We aren't even set up. The tickets aren't in order.

Where's the list? In my purse.

Well, terrific, I can't think of a better place, except...

maybe out on the table where we could look at it.

Your hair is really shiny.

I'm going to go make the rounds. Have you seen Rory?

No. I'll go look outside.

Run. Run. Run!

Can you pick me up from grandma's?

If Paris hasn't had me flogged, yes, I'll be there.

Thank you. Bye.

Please God, tell me I didn't forget the list.

So the kid in the bookcase back there, is she yours?

Mine, yes, not Jimmy's. Oh.

I was married for the longest minute and half in the world.

Hey, sweetie. How's everything? Everything's fine.

I love that. Give Reilly a kiss.

Then I came to my senses,

ran for the hills, but I got lily, so I win!

Ha ha! Short cut.

I met Jimmy about five and a half years ago,

but lily's just crazy about him, so...

Ronnie, I found your keys again!

Oh, good! Thank you, baby doll!

You have got to sew that hole in your pocket up.

I'll do it for you if you don't have the time.

Got any brothers or sisters? Apparently not.

Lily's submitted a written request for a brother

by the end of this year,

but I think I should be married before we have any kids.

You guys aren't married?

You didn't know that?

No.

You guys had quite a talk, didn't you?

Yeah, well...

Okay, we're here.

It looks like a jar of pickles.

I know it's a jar of pickles, but is it that jar of pickles?

Yes! You sure?

No.

The Chicago dills

were the original pickles they sold in...

1922, yes, I listen.

I finally tracked down the family that sold them,

I paid a substantial premium to use the original labels.

Now they're here, and I look at them,

and they don't look the same... too many bumps.

Jimmy, I'm begging you... play golf.

Just call the guy and tell them they look different, please.

Whatever you say.

Jimmy. Hey, sash.

You have a visitor. Yeah?

Hey.

Hey!

You, uh, just get here?

Just got here.

So, Jess, I assume you'll be staying for dinner.

Oh, well...

Yeah, sure, stay. You'll stay.

He'll stay. We'll get Abbot's, right? Whatever you want.

Well, I have to get back.

So I will see you guys later.

Sorry I didn't call.

Hey, life's about the spontaneous, right?

This your place?

The inferno, yes.

It's nice.

Thanks.

Hey, why don't I come out there?

I didn't mean to interrupt. No problem.

Lee, I'm gonna take a short break, okay?

Thank God.

You didn't have to do that. It's fine.

So, first time on the west coast?

First time on the west coast. Okay.

The sights.

Ocean.

I wondered what that was. Sand.

Keeps the ocean in its place. Sky.

We got one of those back east.

And then you have the boardwalk...

sunglasses, smoothies, bootleg cds.

Good ones? I never actually bought one. My neighbor Stan did.

He's not my neighbor anymore.

He used to work at lockheed,

but they shut down the Burbank plant.

So he went to a trade school out in the valley.

He installs cable now, sends me a postcard at christmastime.

He's Dutch.

Currently, we're in Santa Monica.

You keep walking, you hit venice.

That's technically where we live.

Past that, you got marina del rey.

Lot of bike shorts in that area,

and then you get in the other beaches...

Manhattan, redondo... and basically, that's it.

That's it. That's all of L.A.

There are crazy rumors that if you get in your car

and drive east, away from the beach,

there's some city and other stuff,

but personally, I don't believe it.

I take it you like the beach.

I'd marry the beach if we're allowed to mate.

Sounds serious.

I lived a lot of places all over this country,

and nothing, absolutely nothing compares to this.

So where else have you lived?

Wow, where else? Let's see...

Minneapolis, Chicago, biloxi, Maine...

worked on a lobster boat. Yeah?

Let me tell you, I smelled great.

Did a stint in New Jersey, New Hampshire...

New York.

Oh.

Yeah, well, obviously New York.

New York was, well...

You know what New York was, so...

Jimmy? Yeah.

I didn't come here to bust your balls, man.

Okay, good to know.

Jimmy, I got the pickle guy!

He's as worried about you as I am!

I should take this.

Go ahead. I can just hang out. You sure?

I got my book. I'm good.

Okay, you're good.

♪ One way or another... ♪

Hi, I'm here to see my grandmother.

She's in the living room with miss Celine.

Miss who? Right this way.

Its stunning. Really?

Chills! I've got chills!

Turn for me, dear!

Oh, it moves! It just moves!

Ginger Rogers always insisted

her dresses move just like that.

Ginger Rogers? Well...

Of course, she didn't have your legs. Oh, silly.

Hey, grandma. Rory, perfect. What do you think?

You look beautiful.

Well, if I do, it's all because of this lady here.

I'd like you to meet miss Celine.

She's been our fashion consultant for years.

Oh, well, how do you...

oh, my God! It's Audrey hepburn!

What? You're Audrey hepburn in "Sabrina"...

just a waif with eyes.

Uh, thank you.

Celine, I don't think the handkerchief works.

Rory, I didn't know you were here.

Look at this girl. What do you see?

Well... it's Audrey hepburn in "Sabrina"!

Now that you mention it, there is a touch of Audrey in her.

But even prettier.

Yes, without that ridiculous affected accent.

For years, I kept telling her,

"Audrey, get a speech therapist."

She was very stubborn, but could she wear capris.

You know, Rory is starting Yale in the fall.

Yale? That is exciting.

You'll need a whole new wardrobe, huh?

Oh, Celine, I love this one.

Yes, I had that exact suit made in mint

for Mrs. Walter cronkite just last week.

A darling woman.

We've been friends since the big bang. That's nice.

What do you think of this, Richard?

I like the green one with the beads.

It made you look like a mermaid.

You guys know this is just a casual graduation...

folding chairs on the grass.

There's going to be grass?

Yeah, it's going to outside.

You cannot wear green around grass.

I learned that from tova borgnine the hard way.

Go try the red one on.

Red goes wonderful with nature.

Alright. I'm gonna try the gray linen.

Yes, yes. With this white silk shirt.

Oh, very nice.

I had that exact shirt on Jimmy Stewart

the night before his colonoscopy.

He came through it clean as a whistle.

Mmm. Mmm.

Never underestimate the power of a good shirt.

I never will again.

Kathy Kim.

Check.

Next.

Greg agulara.

Check.

Next.

Brad Langford.

Check.

Why did you do that?

It has a really bad picture of us.

But that page had the only picture of me.

Oh.

There.

Next.

No one is going to buy our tickets.

Give it time. We've been sitting here for an hour

and have sold eight tickets.

Grad night is a big deal, Paris. They will buy the tickets.

Unbutton your top. What?

Teenage boys are controlled by one thing. Unbutton your top.

No. Me doing it isn't going to help any.

Paris, you need to relax. You need to stop worrying.

You need to stop looking at my boobs.

Fine.

Even the stupid class-poster table has a line.

Time to play "let's distract Paris."

Look at me. Let's talk. About what?

Anything. Tell me what college you finally landed on.

I didn't. What's it between?

Princeton, Columbia, and Yale. Good choices.

I'm really not that interested in Columbia,

but the thought horrifies my mother.

I have to keep it in the mix, you know? Do I ever.

Princeton's a good school, but Jamie goes there.

That's your boyfriend? Yes, he goes there, and if I go there,

it's going to look like I went there just to be with him.

Suddenly, I'm felicity without the hair issues,

I'm not terribly comfortable with that.

Not going to a school you want to

just because your boyfriend is there is just as bad

as going to a school you don't want to go to

just 'cause your boyfriend isn't there.

I guess.

If you wanna go to Princeton, go

if you wanna go to Yale, go.

Leave Jamie out of it. Leave your mother out of it.

Just decide whatever it is you want to do and do it.

I can try that, I guess.

Thanks. You're welcome.

What are you doing?

I'm giving you a hug.

Why? Just give into it, baby. Come on, you can do it.

Attagirl.

Unclench the fists, Paris. Unclench the fists.

There you go.

Sash, we're home!

What's up, lily Lou? Want pineapple on your pizza?

Yes!

She do that a lot? All the time.

You ever find it weird? All the time.

Listen, why don't you give me a minute here?

Make it two. Two minutes.

Three, and do a special knock

before you come in.

I passed a bookstore back on the boardwalk.

Why don't I just go check it out?

Okay, but I thought the knock idea was kind of cool.

So, last week, when you said you were going to Sacramento

to check out a potential supplier, you actually went...

To Connecticut to see Jess.

That's quite an elaborate story you made up.

I have a gift. I didn't believe you.

It's not a big gift.

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know.

You're nodding your head. Why are you nodding your head?

You're shrugging your shoulders.

You're nodding your head and shrugging your shoulders.

Why are you nodding your head and shrugging your shoulders?

Will you stop nodding your head and shrugging your shoulders?

I'm gonna pick up the pizza. Have it delivered.

The delivery guys are too stoned to find the house.

I didn't know how it was gonna go.

I didn't know if he'd be there or if he'd talk...

I get it. I'll see you later, roomie.

Do not do that. We are not roomies.

We are partners. We're soul mates.

You just traveled cross-country to see your son

for the first time since he was born,

and you didn't tell me... we are roomies.

I'm sorry.

Get the extra mattress out of the closet. What for?

For Jess. For Jess to do what?

For Jess to sleep on. Jess is sleeping here?

Isn't he? I don't know.

You didn't ask him if he's staying the night? No.

Did you ask him how long he's here for? No.

Did you ask him anything? Should I have?

He could be in trouble! What trouble?

How would I know? You just said he was in trouble.

He could be in trouble!

He could be running from the cops

or attempting to hop across America on one foot,

or he really did come all the way from Connecticut

just to have pizza with his father,

who he's not seen or heard from in 17 years.

What are the odds it's the last one?

Do what you want. Talk to him.

Don't talk to him. I don't care. I'll be back.

Lily, come on!

Now, Sabrina, college is a very important time

in a young girl's life, hmm?

You need to be properly attired.

I'm sure, but...

trust me, a young girl is completely

and solely judged by her appearance.

Alright, let's begin.

I always start every wardrobe from the top... the hat.

Remember, Sabrina,

it's the first thing that God sees

when you walk outside in the morning.

I'm exhausted. I feel as if I've tried on every dress in town.

So is it the blue? Yes, I think it's the blue.

I think it's quite suitable

for my granddaughter's graduation.

Hi, hon. Hey, mom.

Hey. What are you doing here?

I just came to pick Rory up. Miss Celine.

Oh, my God, it's Natalie wood!

Look, Sabrina, it's Natalie wood!

Oh, miss Celine,

I can't believe that you're still, uh, working.

Oh, I tried to retire once.

Oliva de havilland wouldn't hear of it.

Well, how are you? How's Mrs. Walter cronkite?

Lovely, thank you for asking, Natalie.

I left the suits upstairs. I'll just get them.

No, no! I'll get them!

It's who I am... the keeper of the clothes.

It's a delight to see you again.

Same here, Celine.

Oh, my God.

She was, like, 1,000 when I was 10.

You should've seen the clothes grandma tried on.

She picked out a beautiful blue dress for graduation.

I'd like to see that, mom.

It needs to be altered.

Oh, sure, well, I'll see it at graduation, I guess.

I'm sorry I didn't give you advance notice

I was coming over.

I don't need advance notice, lorelai.

Okay, you just seem tense.

No, I'm just tired... And busy.

I have a busy evening ahead. Oh, I'm sure you do.

Dinner's ready, Mrs. gilmore.

No, it's not. I just checked...

I was in there 10 minutes ago,

it still had 40 minutes. It's really brown...

lupe, please do not argue with me.

It's not ready. Now go make the salad.

What?! The salad's ready.

Lupe!

Mom, it's 7:00.

So? So it's your dinnertime.

I don't have a dinnertime, lorelai.

You don't have a dinnertime? No, I don't.

So all the years I grew up in this house,

we did not sit down to dinner at exactly 7:00 every single night?

No. I just imagined that?

I don't know what your obsession with dinnertime is.

It was always at 7:00. Now all of a sudden it's not.

Is it because I'm here? That's ridiculous.

It is. I'm here, and if you served dinner,

miss manners would insist that you invite me to stay,

and you don't want to. So you're going to pretend

that dinner is suddenly whenever you feel like it.

Lorelai, I do not get dramatic. Dinner is not ready, and even if it was,

I would still not be able to invite you to stay

because your father and I have plans tonight.

We are eating quickly and then leaving.

To go where? The thompsons.

For what? Book club.

What book? "Lovely bones."

Did you like it? It's not my taste, but I respect the attempt.

Now I know where I get it from.

We'll have dinner another time, alright?

So are you kicking us out?

I told you we have plans.

Or do you want to get that dinner of yours on the table?

Lorelai, please!

If I couldn't stay but Rory could, would you want her to?

Of course I would, but your father and I have plans.

So she can't stay even if I'm gone.

No, she can't.

Emily, for heaven sakes, it's 7:10! Why aren't we eating?

Hi, dad, listen, Rory was gonna stay for dinner

if you guys don't have plans.

Of course we don't have any plans.

Oh, I'm thrilled Rory is staying.

You just livened up

a very boring night in the gilmore house.

Enjoy your dinner, and, mom, get yourself an agent,

'cause you're wasting that talent of yours

on dinner theater.

Mom, wait!

Mom, wait! Where are you going?

I'm gonna drive in a circle backwards really fast

to reverse the earth's orbit to go back in time

to before I made the decision to come here.

You came here to pick me. What was I thinking?

You were thinking, "wouldn't it be great

for my daughter not to have to walk back?"

A 30-mile hike never hurt anyone.

I can't believe her. I can't believe you.

Why? You were leaving me here?

So you could have dinner with them. I never said I wanted to.

You said that, then you stormed out.

Okay, I'm sorry. I just...

I finally realized I can't do this anymore.

I can't come back here anymore. I'm done!

I'm sorry. I never should have asked you.

It's okay. It's good, actually.

Now I can stop feeling guilty for not talking to them.

Go back to the way things were. We share a nose, that's it.

So we're going? Yes, we're going.

I have to get my books. Please be here when I'm back.

Are you staying? No, I've gotta go, grandma.

I guess we'll see you at graduation, then.

I guess you will.

I really don't know what to do with that mother of yours.

Everything has to be such a scene.

I think you're being really stupid.

Your arms up to the sky.

So, souplantation?

Hang on. I'm almost at the end.

Okay, let the raving begin.

A room full of all-you-can-eat food...

soup, salad, pizza, pasta, chicken wings,

ice cream, rainbow sprinkles...

how did I not know about them?

I have no good answers for you.

We are going back with tupperware.

It's turning yellow.

Ah, shoot. Come on, gun it!

I can't. Mom, we have to get home.

I already have two tickets. I cannot get another.

Oh, I can't believe you stopped! I can't believe you wanted me to go.

There's no one around. Now no one's around.

But the second I run that light,

a police car, four helicopters, the Canadian mounties,

and the crew of "cops" jump out and I'm toast.

Paranoid. Just because you're paranoid

doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Alright, I guess we wait.

Do you think Luke will know we went to souplantation?

Not unless you tell him.

But maybe he'll be able to tell. There'll be a glow.

An all-you-can-eat glow.

He'll see the glow, and he'll never give us extra fries again.

Um, mom, why did Luke just bolt away from us?

Maybe he saw the glow.

Mom...

Okay, first of all, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.

I just thought with all the stuff you were doing,

maybe I should wait.

What's going on?

Jess is gone.

Gone where?

I don't know.

Luke knows, but he didn't tell me.

But he doesn't seem to think he's coming back.

Neither do I.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Forget this.

Hey, when you say "I'm going to check out a bookstore

on the boardwalk," you be more specific.

I've been wandering around for over an hour.

I've been to three different bookstores.

I have been worried sick about you, okay?!

Sorry. Outside!

But... outside!

You in trouble? What?

When you left home, were the cops after you? No.

'Cause they shouldn't be or they haven't found the head yet?

What's up, Jimmy?

You just showed up here, man, no call, no letter...

just like you showed up in stars hollow

with no letter, no call... were you in trouble?

We're talking about you. I'm not running from the cops.

Why are you here? Why'd you come to stars hollow?

Listen, Mr. double-talk, I need an answer.

So do I! You show up, you don't talk.

You just have coffee. Then you left.

Why'd you come if you didn't even wanna talk?

I did!

You did? Of course.

You think a person travels across the country

just to listen to a bowie song?

Granted, a classic off "Ziggy" but still...

What, you're telling me you just chickened out?

Yeah.

Oh.

Well, I came to see you. Okay.

I thought maybe I could crash here for a little while.

Uh-huh.

Just a little while.

I don't need my own room or anything.

I could just sleep on the couch.

Or the extra mattress we keep in the closet.

Sure, that'll be fine, too.

You know, Sasha's always right. Drives me crazy.

No matter what the situation, she's always right.

I'd love to be right just once in a while?

It wouldn't be for long.

You know she called the super bowl five times?

You know what? Say no if you want.

Jess, man, come on, you can't stay here.

Why not? Why not? 'Cause you can't! 'Cause you can't!

Why not? Because you can't!

I want to ask "why not,"

but that doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere.

Look at me, Jess. I'm not a father. Never was.

I left you because I wasn't a father.

The minute the cigar was finished,

I was like, "what are you doing?

How you gonna take care of someone else?!"

That's not... I can't take you in. I can't raise you.

Raise me?! I'm 18! I'm raised!

I can vote, be drafted. It's a little late

to throw me a teenage mutant ninja turtle party.

Thought you didn't come to bust my balls.

Put the bat down, man! I don't need a daddy!

I just need a place to crash.

Do you understand it's only in the last five years

I even started to put my life together?

You don't wanna be around me.

I am a screw-up. That is my genetic code.

The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

Don't say that. You're young. You can do anything you want.

A month. Just let me stay...

are you listening?! I have nothing to offer you! Nothing!

You have nothing? I have nothing!

I have no place to go! Can't stay at Luke's.

Can't stay in stars hollow. My mother's a whack job!

You don't want to take me off

this terrific path I'm headed down right now?!

I'm not graduating high school!

I don't know what I'll do with my life,

but I'd better find out soon

or I'll be that guy on the boardwalk selling the hemp hats!

I have one of those.

It's a good hat.

Well?

I have to talk it over with Sasha.

Just... Tell her I'm a dog.

Great idea.

You could sit there and lick yourself while she decides,

you know, help sell it.

Thank you, Jimmy.

If she says it's okay, then we'll see. Fine, we'll see.

It may not work out. I totally understand.

But I'll ask, and if she says it's okay, then we'll see.

We'll see.

Oh, my God. I'm so tired.

Here's a thought... how about going to bed? I have to study.

Or make a pot of coffee and once again get no sleep.

Just as good.

What's this? That's just...

Yale needed my social security number for something.

Look who became a soche.

What? You have a lot of signatures in here, little girl.

Everybody signs everybody's yearbook. It's polite.

"Rory, have a great summer. B.F.F., Amber."

Hey, Amber b.F.F.Ed you!

Yeah, I feel truly blessed.

"Hey, arory borealis."

Okay, can't talk to this one again.

"You've been my inspiration, my rock, my light.

I loved you in 'South pacific.'"

when did you do "South pacific"? What?

Some dipstick named shauna thinks you were in "South pacific."

Shauna tends to get people mixed up.

Oh, okay.

Hey, you know what's weird?

A lot of the kids in here are calling you a valedictorian.

Is that anything like a dirty skank, 'cause if it is,

I'll kick their plaid butts up and down the sidewalk.

Were you named valedictorian?

Yes, and you know what that means?

One more stupid speech I have to write

that I have no time to write. Nevertheless, I have to.

Hey, listen...

My little holly hunter in "broadcast news,"

I am gonna let you freak out and study like a madwoman

and stress yourself out until finals,

but once they're over, we are gonna celebrate big time,

'cause this is amazing.

Yeah.

It is.

Okay, now go make mommy nervous.