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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:47,539 MAN: Guys! Guys! We're doing a video for Cliff and Cydney. 2 00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:48,944 What do you want to say? 3 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,280 First the big studio sale. Now the big wedding. 4 00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:55,419 MVP year for our boy, Clifford. 5 00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,548 I fucking hate you, Anderson. 6 00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:00,148 Hey, and when you're all famous, 7 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,353 don't forget about your crew from film school. 8 00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,690 Boys in the Wood Hood! 9 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:06,857 You dance with who brung you, Cliffie. You dance with who brung you. 10 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:12,895 I mean, you know we wouldn't be here tonight if it wasn't for me. 11 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,438 I mean, I brought her to that Black Eyed Peas concert. 12 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:19,171 I introduced them. I mean, I basically hooked them up. 13 00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:23,714 One, 14 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:25,948 two, 15 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,148 two and a half, 16 00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:31,551 three! 17 00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:33,285 (WOMEN SCREAMING) 18 00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:47,497 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 19 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,545 And when he was ready to propose, 20 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:57,104 finally, I was the one that he practiced on to get it right. 21 00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,515 So, you gonna fuck him tonight, Rita? 22 00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:02,719 I already did. 23 00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,312 (ALL LAUGHING) 24 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,723 Can you... Can you give me that please? 25 00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:18,192 Tommy... 26 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:19,931 My little brother getting married before me. 27 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,736 CLIFF: Yeah, I wonder why. Come on. Your armpit smells like ass, okay? 28 00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:24,104 Will you let the fuck off? 29 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,611 I came all the way from Michigan to do this one more time. 30 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:28,806 How does that feel? 31 00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:35,451 Some of our friends did the Kalalau Trail last year 32 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,887 and came back with the most amazing pictures. 33 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,720 So they're going to Maui, right? 34 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:43,358 Kauai, the last island. Right... Right there, number five. 35 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:46,159 One, two, three, four, five, right there. 36 00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:52,163 It's called a dollar dance. 37 00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:54,035 In 1967 it was a dollar dance. 38 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,574 Please, get a 50. Get out of there. 39 00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,373 (GUESTS CHEERING) 40 00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:04,211 (SCREAMS) 41 00:03:05,718 --> 00:03:08,278 I want you guys to know how much I love you. I adore you. 42 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:10,948 And I hope you have the best time on your honeymoon. 43 00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:14,185 And make it something to remember. Love you, guys. 44 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,122 I think they just wanted to start off their lives together 45 00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:20,426 with some kind of adventure. 46 00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:26,965 (GUESTS CLAPPING) 47 00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:33,069 CLIFF: The red dot. 48 00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:34,476 CYDNEY: There's the red dot. The thing. 49 00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:35,739 You comfortable? 50 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:37,077 CYDNEY: Got the camera. This should... 51 00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:41,617 Hey, can I ask you a question, Mr. Cliff Anderson... 52 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,112 Yeah. 53 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,451 ...of Venice Beach, California? 54 00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:47,349 Yes, Mrs. Cydney Anderson, 55 00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,359 formerly Miss Cydney Karswell, 56 00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,987 of Pacific Palisades, California. 57 00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:55,092 How did you get this scar? 58 00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,829 Oh, my God, I can't believe I didn't notice it before. 59 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,064 That's a long story 60 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:06,578 and it involves Homeland Security. 61 00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:08,112 (CYDNEY LAUGHING) 62 00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:11,949 It's not funny. And me being unexpectedly pressed 63 00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:14,212 into service as a deputy air marshal. 64 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,117 And I don't really want to talk about it. 65 00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:20,817 (GRUNTS) Try again! A little less grandiose, thank you. 66 00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:24,530 My brother hit me with his skateboard when I was nine. 67 00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:26,424 CYDNEY: Wait, which brother is this? 68 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,794 That would be Tommy, the dick, from Michigan. 69 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,335 CYDNEY: Oh. 70 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:33,368 Wait, I thought he said Maryland at the wedding. 71 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:36,135 Excuse me, but whose brother is this? 72 00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:40,712 (LAUGHING) I'm so sorry! He's got, like, 16 brothers, okay? 73 00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:42,637 All right, Tommy from Michigan. 74 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:43,807 A new wife should know these things. 75 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:45,544 CLIFF: Feet in! Feet in! Feet in! 76 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:46,877 (EXCLAIMS) 77 00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:49,650 Christ! Are you insane? 78 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,246 It's a rental. 79 00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:52,449 (LAUGHS) 80 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:55,422 Mrs. Cydney Anderson. 81 00:04:56,629 --> 00:05:00,326 Mrs. Cydney... No, Mrs. Cydney... Listen. 82 00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,333 You know, it's like writing checks in January. 83 00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:03,925 I know I'm going to blow it. 84 00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:06,198 You got to keep practicing. 85 00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,543 Cliff, get back in here! God! 86 00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:21,216 I've never seen so many shades of green! 87 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,516 Hey, hey! Get a picture of me! 88 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,220 (YELLING) 89 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:27,550 (LAUGHS) 90 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:28,922 Hey, hey! 91 00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:30,387 (EXCLAIMS) 92 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:31,622 Stop it! 93 00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,239 Look! Look! 94 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,279 Oh! Whoa! 95 00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,954 Hey, hey! Look, look! Trekkers! 96 00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:03,289 Hey! Hi! 97 00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:10,795 Hey! Hey, I want to do that! Kalalau, that trail right down there! 98 00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:12,837 Did it myself back in the day. 99 00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:15,601 I'll show you what it's all for. 100 00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:25,478 The most gorgeous dead end God ever made. 101 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:28,151 Wow! 102 00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:29,555 Yeah! 103 00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:30,953 You know what? Drop me off right here. 104 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,046 Forget the hike. 105 00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:34,285 Only two ways in and out, Cydney. 106 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,362 By foot or by kayak. 107 00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:39,587 But that's what makes it so special. 108 00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:26,367 MAN: Well, beautiful it is, brother. How many days you allow? 109 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,409 About one day in, one day at the beach and then another day back. 110 00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,983 (CHUCKLES) Common mistake. 111 00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:33,482 What, you think I need more? 112 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:36,180 I don't know if you need more, but you'll sure want more. 113 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,756 As long as all your permits are updated 114 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,347 and so on. Yeah, yeah. See? 115 00:07:41,126 --> 00:07:43,720 Okay. Yeah. 'Cause the rangers do get out and work the trail. 116 00:07:43,828 --> 00:07:44,852 So, you want to keep these close, Cliff. 117 00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:45,930 CLIFF: All right. 118 00:07:46,064 --> 00:07:47,497 And this, too. 119 00:07:50,301 --> 00:07:51,268 Did you miss me? 120 00:07:51,369 --> 00:07:52,836 You know, three days sounds plenty to me. 121 00:07:52,937 --> 00:07:54,063 (EXCLAIMS) 122 00:07:54,772 --> 00:07:56,137 (MUSIC BLARING ON CAR RADIO) 123 00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:00,840 Nine whole minutes. 124 00:08:01,279 --> 00:08:02,405 Do you realize 125 00:08:02,514 --> 00:08:05,278 that's the longest we've been apart since we got married? 126 00:08:05,383 --> 00:08:07,351 You must have missed me something awful. 127 00:08:07,452 --> 00:08:10,148 This is 11.5 miles each way, right? 128 00:08:10,255 --> 00:08:11,415 Each way. 129 00:08:11,523 --> 00:08:13,013 Tell me you missed me. 130 00:08:13,124 --> 00:08:14,113 Well... 131 00:08:14,893 --> 00:08:16,656 I'll give you a BJ in the car. 132 00:08:16,761 --> 00:08:17,750 Okay. 133 00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:19,261 CYDNEY: Another one. 134 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,594 Anyways, check this out, Cliff. 135 00:08:23,701 --> 00:08:25,862 Now you gonna cross over five valleys. 136 00:08:25,970 --> 00:08:26,959 Each time you do, 137 00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:29,767 you're gonna gain or lose 1,000 feet of elevation. 138 00:08:29,874 --> 00:08:30,966 That's the killer. 139 00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:32,565 I missed you, too, baby. 140 00:08:32,677 --> 00:08:35,077 What? Did you go somewhere? 141 00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:36,943 You're so bad! 142 00:08:37,048 --> 00:08:39,016 $475.35. 143 00:08:39,117 --> 00:08:40,141 CLIFF: All right. 144 00:08:40,885 --> 00:08:42,750 Yeah, I know. It looks like I robbed a bank. 145 00:08:42,854 --> 00:08:45,322 It's our wedding haul! 146 00:08:45,423 --> 00:08:46,685 What's up? What's up? 147 00:08:46,891 --> 00:08:47,880 (SPEAKING LOCAL LANGUAGE) 148 00:08:47,992 --> 00:08:49,789 How's my baby boy? MAN: Back from Oahu? 149 00:08:49,994 --> 00:08:50,961 EARTH MOMMA: Glad to see you back. 150 00:08:51,062 --> 00:08:52,222 Nowhere near Honolulu, were you? 151 00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:54,821 No, on the other side. Waves were junk for three days. 152 00:08:54,933 --> 00:08:58,334 More better over here. Why? What's the stink in 'Lulu? 153 00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:03,102 Maybe enough for now. Want to help these two out to their car? 154 00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:05,938 Yeah, I'll just dump my gear. I'll be right with them. 155 00:09:06,044 --> 00:09:08,512 Boy's gonna help with your bags. 156 00:09:09,847 --> 00:09:11,815 (SPEAKING LOCAL LANGUAGE) 157 00:09:11,983 --> 00:09:13,314 Get an early start, brother. 158 00:09:13,418 --> 00:09:14,544 Yeah, I will. 159 00:09:14,652 --> 00:09:17,849 (SPEAKING LOCAL LANGUAGE) 160 00:09:42,513 --> 00:09:44,743 (REGGAE MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 161 00:09:46,251 --> 00:09:47,980 (SINGING) ...never falter 162 00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:52,819 I need your love each and every day 163 00:09:53,324 --> 00:09:55,519 (HUMMING) 164 00:09:56,527 --> 00:09:57,789 All right 165 00:09:59,030 --> 00:10:01,123 (HUMMING) 166 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,662 All right 167 00:10:03,868 --> 00:10:04,960 (CHUCKLES) 168 00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:07,233 I love our new lives! 169 00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:10,564 Hey! 170 00:10:16,247 --> 00:10:18,807 What are you doing? 171 00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:19,974 It's Hawaii. 172 00:10:23,521 --> 00:10:26,217 Just because we're in Hawaii we're gonna do things we don't normally do, 173 00:10:26,324 --> 00:10:28,519 like pick up hitchhikers? 174 00:10:28,626 --> 00:10:31,857 Come on. Nothing bad ever happens in Hawaii, right? 175 00:10:36,466 --> 00:10:38,798 (SPEAKING LOCAL LANGUAGE) 176 00:10:39,368 --> 00:10:40,357 So, how far are you going? 177 00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:41,698 Lumahai Beach. 178 00:10:41,804 --> 00:10:45,205 Lumahai? Lumahai? I don't think we know that area. 179 00:10:45,308 --> 00:10:48,175 It's about 10 miles ahead, right on this road, 180 00:10:48,277 --> 00:10:49,539 right by where the big trail is. 181 00:10:49,812 --> 00:10:50,870 You know that trail? 182 00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:52,743 Yeah, the big trail? 183 00:10:56,419 --> 00:11:00,412 But we're... But we're not going that far. So... 184 00:11:01,524 --> 00:11:02,684 (CAR DOOR OPENS) 185 00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,693 So, how far do you go? 186 00:11:05,828 --> 00:11:09,764 Uh... Just up the road a bit. 187 00:11:10,666 --> 00:11:13,658 So, if you guys, you know, stay here for five more minutes, 188 00:11:13,769 --> 00:11:14,861 I'm sure someone will come along that can... 189 00:11:14,971 --> 00:11:17,838 We was waiting for, like, an hour before you stopped. 190 00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:19,271 Maybe more. 191 00:11:19,709 --> 00:11:22,337 Shit, I thought this was Hawaii. 192 00:11:22,445 --> 00:11:23,503 Sorry. 193 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:25,845 Come on. 194 00:11:27,483 --> 00:11:29,508 Hey, you guys married? 195 00:11:29,619 --> 00:11:31,416 Yeah, yeah, we just got married. 196 00:11:31,854 --> 00:11:35,153 Hold this. Some of these pictures totally suck. 197 00:11:35,258 --> 00:11:36,987 It's one of those cameras you chuck. 198 00:11:37,093 --> 00:11:39,118 This one, this is a good one. KALE: Hey, Cleo, what are you doing? 199 00:11:39,228 --> 00:11:40,889 These people want to see less of us, not more. 200 00:11:40,997 --> 00:11:42,328 Here it is. 201 00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:46,062 That's us doing the deed in Oahu. 202 00:11:46,335 --> 00:11:47,324 Wow. 203 00:11:47,436 --> 00:11:50,132 We just woke up one morning and decided to get married. 204 00:11:50,306 --> 00:11:51,432 Pretty, isn't it? 205 00:11:51,541 --> 00:11:53,475 Yeah, it's lovely. It's... 206 00:11:54,577 --> 00:11:57,045 Wait. Is this in a grocery store? 207 00:11:57,146 --> 00:11:59,876 Paula's Market. They do it up real nice for you. 208 00:11:59,982 --> 00:12:01,882 Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's an onion. 209 00:12:01,984 --> 00:12:04,714 Yeah, produce manager took that picture. 210 00:12:05,321 --> 00:12:06,652 I know it sounds kind of tacky, 211 00:12:06,756 --> 00:12:08,417 but it's pretty frigging pretty 212 00:12:08,524 --> 00:12:11,618 when they add all the little radishes in there and stuff. 213 00:12:11,727 --> 00:12:14,093 Right, that's what those are. 214 00:12:14,297 --> 00:12:17,960 Hey, baby, look, it's Kale and Cleo getting married in Oahu. 215 00:12:19,235 --> 00:12:21,260 Yeah. Suitable for framing. 216 00:12:25,741 --> 00:12:28,073 You know what? We'll just drive you there. 217 00:12:28,177 --> 00:12:32,079 Ten miles, I mean, listen... We could have been there by now. 218 00:12:32,181 --> 00:12:33,944 Maybe next time, huh? 219 00:12:35,217 --> 00:12:37,310 Kale, don't be that way. 220 00:12:37,453 --> 00:12:38,511 Baby, come on. 221 00:12:38,621 --> 00:12:39,610 CLIFF: Come on, guys. 222 00:12:40,356 --> 00:12:41,550 We don't have to make this a bigger deal... 223 00:12:41,657 --> 00:12:44,683 Cleo, get the fuck out of this man's ride! 224 00:12:51,434 --> 00:12:52,492 (DOOR SLAMS) 225 00:13:05,581 --> 00:13:08,880 Well, I think we handled that really well. 226 00:13:15,825 --> 00:13:17,019 Up there! 227 00:13:17,126 --> 00:13:18,821 Here we go. Kalalau Trail. 228 00:13:19,629 --> 00:13:21,563 CLIFF: That's good. CYDNEY: Bye, Mom! 229 00:13:22,498 --> 00:13:24,398 Well, I was just pointing and shooting. 230 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,263 These new things have too many buttons for me. 231 00:13:26,369 --> 00:13:28,860 Yeah, that's what you get for buying top of the line. 232 00:13:28,971 --> 00:13:32,600 I might have to break down and actually read the manual some day. 233 00:13:32,708 --> 00:13:34,403 I would love to see that. Thanks. 234 00:13:34,577 --> 00:13:35,601 (CYDNEY LAUGHING) 235 00:13:52,128 --> 00:13:53,220 Wow! 236 00:13:59,101 --> 00:14:00,693 Oh... 237 00:14:01,203 --> 00:14:02,261 Okay. 238 00:14:03,572 --> 00:14:06,200 Well, I guess everybody else did it. 239 00:14:06,308 --> 00:14:07,866 Did they really? 240 00:14:09,478 --> 00:14:11,036 Show it no fear. 241 00:14:12,081 --> 00:14:14,914 I think the rest of it kind of washed away or something. 242 00:14:15,017 --> 00:14:18,680 Okay, watch me. Keep your eyes down, your speed up, 243 00:14:19,155 --> 00:14:23,524 avoid those green rocks and just be fearless. 244 00:14:25,361 --> 00:14:27,488 Well, he made that look easy. 245 00:14:27,963 --> 00:14:30,124 Yeah, but he's not wearing a whole 246 00:14:30,232 --> 00:14:31,995 Dave's World of Camping store on his back. 247 00:14:32,101 --> 00:14:33,159 (LAUGHING) 248 00:14:33,369 --> 00:14:34,996 All right, ready! 249 00:14:35,104 --> 00:14:36,128 World record, baby. 250 00:14:36,238 --> 00:14:37,398 Okay. Okay. 251 00:14:38,207 --> 00:14:39,970 Oh, my God! Careful. 252 00:14:41,977 --> 00:14:43,001 You got it. 253 00:14:43,112 --> 00:14:44,238 Okay. Thank you. 254 00:14:45,247 --> 00:14:47,647 You did great. 255 00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:49,115 Come on, baby, you can do it. 256 00:15:03,299 --> 00:15:04,357 (EXCLAIMS) 257 00:15:06,569 --> 00:15:07,934 Outstanding. 258 00:15:08,838 --> 00:15:10,499 Did I almost just die right there? 259 00:15:10,606 --> 00:15:12,233 Come here, come here, come here. 260 00:15:12,341 --> 00:15:13,831 Are you okay? 261 00:15:13,943 --> 00:15:14,967 Yeah. 262 00:15:15,077 --> 00:15:16,669 I was doing so well, I thought. 263 00:15:16,779 --> 00:15:18,337 God. 264 00:15:19,682 --> 00:15:21,115 Hey! What's your name? 265 00:15:25,286 --> 00:15:26,378 NICK: Have we met before? 266 00:15:26,487 --> 00:15:28,717 Because when I first saw you guys, 267 00:15:28,823 --> 00:15:31,018 I was getting a little déjà vu-y. 268 00:15:31,125 --> 00:15:32,422 CLIFF: No. No. CYDNEY: No. 269 00:15:32,527 --> 00:15:34,222 CLIFF: Nowhere I remember, Nick. 270 00:15:35,029 --> 00:15:36,326 NICK: That face. 271 00:15:38,166 --> 00:15:39,292 Are you an actor? 272 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,424 No, no, no. 273 00:15:41,436 --> 00:15:43,233 I haven't seen you on TV? 274 00:15:43,337 --> 00:15:44,770 No such luck. No. 275 00:15:44,872 --> 00:15:48,273 Actually, Cliff is a screenplay writer. He's very sought-after. 276 00:15:48,376 --> 00:15:51,368 All the big movie studios want him to do their projects. 277 00:15:51,479 --> 00:15:55,074 I knew I smelled fame and fortune on you. A screenplay writer? 278 00:15:55,183 --> 00:15:56,616 We just say screen... Screenwriter. 279 00:15:56,717 --> 00:15:59,049 Any movies I might know? 280 00:15:59,153 --> 00:16:01,678 Well, actually my... My... 281 00:16:02,457 --> 00:16:04,948 My first script is in pre-production right now. 282 00:16:05,059 --> 00:16:08,290 So, if you ask me again the same time next year... 283 00:16:08,463 --> 00:16:09,828 Who's in it? 284 00:16:11,065 --> 00:16:13,226 Still trying to figure that out. Still casting out, so... 285 00:16:13,334 --> 00:16:15,564 Well, Nic Cage is always money in my book. 286 00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,035 I like how he gets all intense 287 00:16:17,138 --> 00:16:18,969 right at the end of a sentence! 288 00:16:19,073 --> 00:16:20,802 So, you got a good Act 2 twist? 289 00:16:20,908 --> 00:16:21,897 Yeah. 290 00:16:22,009 --> 00:16:23,476 Yeah? It's... 291 00:16:24,912 --> 00:16:26,777 Are you in the business, Nick? 292 00:16:26,881 --> 00:16:29,748 Me? No, no. I just took some course, 293 00:16:29,851 --> 00:16:32,081 one of those writing boot camps. 294 00:16:32,186 --> 00:16:34,381 I've had so many ass-puckering experiences in life, 295 00:16:34,489 --> 00:16:37,652 I figured, "Hell, I'll just throw it down on paper 296 00:16:37,758 --> 00:16:39,555 "and make myself a million bucks.' ' 297 00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:41,423 Yeah. It's not that easy, is it? 298 00:16:41,529 --> 00:16:44,623 I liked it all, except the paperwork. 299 00:16:44,732 --> 00:16:46,927 You know, actually making pages, it's just... 300 00:16:47,602 --> 00:16:49,467 Yeah. But I got the basics down. 301 00:16:49,570 --> 00:16:53,529 Three acts, hero with a journey, red snappers. All that shit. 302 00:16:54,475 --> 00:16:55,567 Red snappers? 303 00:16:55,676 --> 00:16:56,904 Yeah. You know, 304 00:16:57,011 --> 00:16:58,979 you bring in a character just to fuck with the audience, 305 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,604 just to try and throw them off track... 306 00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:03,707 It's a herring. It's a red herring. 307 00:17:04,919 --> 00:17:06,853 I'm pretty sure it's a snapper. 308 00:17:06,954 --> 00:17:09,149 Excuse me while I shake the bush here. 309 00:17:09,423 --> 00:17:12,324 So, you're, like, halfway to famous, Cliff? 310 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,894 Pretty much. Outstanding! 311 00:17:15,129 --> 00:17:18,223 Yeah, there's a whole big crew getting ready in Vancouver, 312 00:17:18,366 --> 00:17:20,163 building sets and stuff. 313 00:17:20,268 --> 00:17:22,964 But they're there, you're here. 314 00:17:24,772 --> 00:17:28,208 Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to explain, 315 00:17:28,309 --> 00:17:32,143 but they brought in another guy to do a quick rewrite. So... 316 00:17:32,246 --> 00:17:33,679 On your story? 317 00:17:33,781 --> 00:17:37,046 Yeah, just a two-week punch-up. They... It's common. 318 00:17:37,151 --> 00:17:39,119 Yeah, how long ago was this? 319 00:17:41,622 --> 00:17:42,611 It's nine weeks now. 320 00:17:42,723 --> 00:17:43,690 Yeah. 321 00:17:44,191 --> 00:17:48,525 No. That's fucked up. That's your vision, Cliff. That's your baby. 322 00:17:48,629 --> 00:17:50,426 You can't let them get away with that shit. 323 00:17:50,531 --> 00:17:52,829 He's got these agents and they don't do... 324 00:17:52,934 --> 00:17:54,993 I mean, they don't fight for him or anything. 325 00:17:55,102 --> 00:17:56,433 And I was just telling Cliff the other day... 326 00:17:56,537 --> 00:17:58,767 Not that "me" isn't my favorite subject, 327 00:17:58,873 --> 00:18:01,398 but maybe we could talk about something else for a while. 328 00:18:01,509 --> 00:18:04,501 Well, I'm going to leave you with one last pearl of wisdom. 329 00:18:06,313 --> 00:18:08,781 Get a new agent? You get a new story. 330 00:18:12,786 --> 00:18:14,515 What? Me, too! 331 00:18:14,621 --> 00:18:16,589 I have one! No! Wait a minute. 332 00:18:16,690 --> 00:18:17,816 What should we do? Should we go up 333 00:18:17,924 --> 00:18:19,016 or should we just go back down? 334 00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:20,786 This is supposed to be the best service, ever. 335 00:18:20,894 --> 00:18:21,918 I don't care. 336 00:18:22,028 --> 00:18:24,428 Did you hear about Oahu, what happened there? 337 00:18:24,531 --> 00:18:25,520 Why? What happened? 338 00:18:25,632 --> 00:18:27,657 Well, my dad just called from KCK. 339 00:18:27,767 --> 00:18:30,167 Reception's, like, major shit out here. 340 00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:33,034 But he said something about some murders. 341 00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:36,208 Wow. 342 00:18:36,576 --> 00:18:38,407 There's no service. 343 00:18:38,712 --> 00:18:40,043 Flat line. 344 00:18:40,146 --> 00:18:41,773 I'm in and out, mostly out. 345 00:18:42,248 --> 00:18:43,806 Wait. This is in Honolulu? 346 00:18:43,917 --> 00:18:45,680 Dad wants us to leave. 347 00:18:45,785 --> 00:18:47,980 I think he's in major overreaction mode, okay? 348 00:18:48,088 --> 00:18:49,783 Some newlyweds were killed somewhere, he said. 349 00:18:49,889 --> 00:18:50,913 That's what happened. 350 00:18:51,024 --> 00:18:52,116 Yeah. 351 00:18:52,225 --> 00:18:53,590 That's awful. 352 00:18:53,993 --> 00:18:57,087 I mean, we were just there, like, the day before yesterday. 353 00:18:57,197 --> 00:18:59,188 We have been planning this for, like, five-and-a-half months! 354 00:18:59,299 --> 00:19:01,631 Does he not even know it's a different island? 355 00:19:01,735 --> 00:19:03,327 What did your dad say? 356 00:19:03,436 --> 00:19:06,462 I mean, do they know who did it? Do they know anything? 357 00:19:06,573 --> 00:19:08,507 He says that they're looking for two people. 358 00:19:08,608 --> 00:19:11,042 A man and a woman. That's all I got. 359 00:19:11,144 --> 00:19:14,705 It's like that movie, huh? Natural Born Killers. 360 00:19:14,814 --> 00:19:15,803 (GASPING) 361 00:19:15,915 --> 00:19:17,974 Oh, my God, that movie, like, totally freaked me out. 362 00:19:18,084 --> 00:19:19,278 When his head was doing that thing... Majorly. 363 00:19:22,255 --> 00:19:24,416 Well, what do you think? 364 00:19:24,524 --> 00:19:26,515 I mean, it was Oahu, not here. 365 00:19:27,126 --> 00:19:29,924 Well, speak now or forever hold your peace. 366 00:19:32,899 --> 00:19:35,663 Well, hey, I mean, it's our honeymoon, right? 367 00:19:35,768 --> 00:19:36,928 Why don't you guys come with us? 368 00:19:37,036 --> 00:19:39,504 We're going all the way to Kalalau Beach, all the way to the end. 369 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,632 Wait, you guys are, like, newlyweds? 370 00:19:45,044 --> 00:19:46,204 Yeah. 371 00:19:50,817 --> 00:19:52,182 Have a swell honeymoon. 372 00:19:52,285 --> 00:19:53,377 Wait! 373 00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:56,248 Stop! Don't make me run. 374 00:19:57,724 --> 00:19:59,191 You guys are such cowards. 375 00:20:06,399 --> 00:20:12,201 Well, I exit here. Be safe. Some hard yards ahead. 376 00:20:13,206 --> 00:20:16,972 (PANTING) Are you... Are you camping over at Secret Falls? 377 00:20:19,345 --> 00:20:20,539 I read all about it in the guidebook. 378 00:20:23,748 --> 00:20:24,942 Yeah, just for the day. 379 00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:27,847 I had to run back to the truck for a little butane. 380 00:20:27,952 --> 00:20:30,250 Well, how close is it? 381 00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:32,186 Well, it's like everything else in Hawaii. 382 00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:33,985 It's as close as far away gets. 383 00:20:34,092 --> 00:20:35,116 Baby. What? 384 00:20:35,226 --> 00:20:36,488 It sounds so romantic. 385 00:20:36,594 --> 00:20:38,562 Yeah, but I'd like to get to the beach by sunset. 386 00:20:38,663 --> 00:20:41,359 But it's only like, what, like, a mile or something? It's, like, nothing. 387 00:20:41,466 --> 00:20:44,799 Honey, come on. Maybe we should give the man his privacy. 388 00:20:45,303 --> 00:20:48,363 Don't matter to me. Plenty of Eden to go around. 389 00:20:58,616 --> 00:20:59,913 What? 390 00:21:00,018 --> 00:21:01,007 Nothing. 391 00:21:02,754 --> 00:21:04,688 One mile? 392 00:21:04,789 --> 00:21:06,188 One. Serious? 393 00:21:06,291 --> 00:21:07,849 Yeah. Cool! 394 00:21:08,493 --> 00:21:09,926 Hey, wait up! 395 00:21:39,624 --> 00:21:40,750 Wow! 396 00:21:41,559 --> 00:21:47,020 Well, I do believe she's clotheless. 397 00:21:47,131 --> 00:21:49,258 Hey, there. 398 00:21:49,367 --> 00:21:50,732 I do believe he is, too. 399 00:22:00,745 --> 00:22:02,178 This is Gina! 400 00:22:03,515 --> 00:22:05,574 Did he mention Gina before? 401 00:22:06,217 --> 00:22:08,742 Crazy-ass love of my crazy-ass life! 402 00:22:10,054 --> 00:22:11,453 He has now. 403 00:22:11,556 --> 00:22:15,788 Okay. So, they're, like, a couple? 404 00:22:19,764 --> 00:22:21,698 Y'all coming in or what? 405 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,834 Baby, are we going in or not? 406 00:22:25,537 --> 00:22:29,132 Yeah, in a minute. Let me see if I can get some reception. 407 00:22:30,508 --> 00:22:31,566 Okay. 408 00:22:45,189 --> 00:22:46,486 (SIGHS) 409 00:22:46,624 --> 00:22:48,216 That's nice. 410 00:22:51,496 --> 00:22:56,160 I hope we're not intruding on your private paradise here. 411 00:22:56,301 --> 00:23:00,397 Forget it, Nicko's always bringing home strays. 412 00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:01,563 (LAUGHS) 413 00:23:02,073 --> 00:23:05,065 Mrs. Cydney Anderson. We're newlyweds. 414 00:23:05,176 --> 00:23:07,940 Miss Gina Struggs. We're not. 415 00:23:10,782 --> 00:23:11,908 (LAUGHS) 416 00:23:18,723 --> 00:23:20,122 You are so dead. 417 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:36,698 Okay. 418 00:23:40,478 --> 00:23:42,878 Here we go. Come on. 419 00:23:49,988 --> 00:23:55,119 "Thursday on Oahu. Possibly mainlanders on their honeymoon. 420 00:23:57,595 --> 00:23:59,893 "Teeth and fingerprints removed. 421 00:24:00,531 --> 00:24:05,730 "Have reason to believe killers may have jumped islands to Kauai.' ' 422 00:24:11,342 --> 00:24:12,468 Are you shitting me? 423 00:24:12,577 --> 00:24:15,045 No, these girls on the trail told us. 424 00:24:16,247 --> 00:24:18,613 I feel like maybe we saw someone. 425 00:24:18,783 --> 00:24:21,183 They know who it was who did the killing? 426 00:24:21,285 --> 00:24:22,877 I don't think so. 427 00:24:32,730 --> 00:24:36,427 "Security cameras released photo of suspect.' ' 428 00:24:46,878 --> 00:24:51,042 You know what I heard? A few people die out here every year. 429 00:24:51,549 --> 00:24:55,417 They just stand under a waterfall, get hit by some falling rock. 430 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:59,752 Or maybe they just slip and go right on over. Vanish. 431 00:25:02,126 --> 00:25:06,654 Who knows how? Or even why. Could be the wages of sin. 432 00:25:10,535 --> 00:25:13,595 How you doing, Hot Wheels? 433 00:25:13,705 --> 00:25:14,933 I'm good. 434 00:25:18,276 --> 00:25:22,212 That's two lies in one day. It comes naturally to you, don't it? 435 00:25:25,283 --> 00:25:27,342 Are you following us, Kale? 436 00:25:30,188 --> 00:25:33,089 You know, it ain't the fact that you deceived us. 437 00:25:33,191 --> 00:25:35,716 Every man's got a pack of lies in him, right? 438 00:25:36,194 --> 00:25:39,857 It's just that you thought we was foolish enough to buy it. 439 00:25:41,899 --> 00:25:43,230 I'm sorry, I don't... 440 00:25:43,334 --> 00:25:44,858 What did you think, anyway? 441 00:25:44,969 --> 00:25:46,436 Just 'cause we choose to look a certain way 442 00:25:46,537 --> 00:25:49,563 that makes us, what, desperados? 443 00:25:50,308 --> 00:25:51,969 No, I don't think... Jesus, man. 444 00:25:52,076 --> 00:25:55,534 You know, sometimes it feels like the whole world's just 445 00:25:55,646 --> 00:25:57,136 spitting in my face. 446 00:26:01,185 --> 00:26:02,482 Excuse me. 447 00:26:04,155 --> 00:26:08,615 Look. I thought you said you were going to Lumahai Beach. 448 00:26:08,726 --> 00:26:11,854 "Going to that area.' ' That's what we said. 449 00:26:11,963 --> 00:26:15,023 Well, you didn't say you were doing the trail, so... 450 00:26:15,166 --> 00:26:16,997 Well, neither did you. 451 00:26:17,668 --> 00:26:22,230 Look. We offered you a ride. You didn't want it. You didn't take it. 452 00:26:22,874 --> 00:26:26,469 So, I don't really understand what the issue is between us. 453 00:26:27,311 --> 00:26:28,369 Kale? 454 00:26:33,951 --> 00:26:35,816 Joy and happiness here? 455 00:26:36,788 --> 00:26:38,653 No, I think we're good. 456 00:26:40,424 --> 00:26:41,789 Outstanding. 457 00:26:44,228 --> 00:26:45,752 How far you going, Hot Wheels? 458 00:26:45,863 --> 00:26:49,299 Playing it by ear. You? 459 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:50,662 Probably the next beach. 460 00:26:52,069 --> 00:26:53,036 What's it called? 461 00:26:53,137 --> 00:26:54,661 Hanakapi'ai. 462 00:26:54,772 --> 00:26:56,865 That one, yeah. Maybe there, maybe further. 463 00:26:56,974 --> 00:26:59,169 Need permits to go further. 464 00:26:59,610 --> 00:27:00,770 (CHUCKLES) 465 00:27:03,181 --> 00:27:05,547 Should have given us a ride, man. 466 00:27:06,884 --> 00:27:08,078 Come on. 467 00:27:18,196 --> 00:27:23,190 So, after a $45 taxi ride, we wind up at the Ocean View Hotel. 468 00:27:23,301 --> 00:27:24,962 Sounds nice, doesn't it? 469 00:27:25,069 --> 00:27:29,506 Problem is it hadn't actually had an ocean view since 1987, 470 00:27:29,607 --> 00:27:32,235 when these high-rises went up across the street. 471 00:27:32,910 --> 00:27:36,038 Jesus. Everyone's like, "Waikiki is so great!" 472 00:27:36,147 --> 00:27:38,843 Honestly, it's getting on my last nerve. 473 00:27:45,022 --> 00:27:46,114 Are we okay? 474 00:27:46,224 --> 00:27:47,691 Yeah. Let's keep an eye on our time, okay? 475 00:27:47,792 --> 00:27:49,953 Yeah, but do those packs belong to who I think they belong to? 476 00:27:50,061 --> 00:27:51,961 Yeah, they said they were doing the trail all along. 477 00:27:52,063 --> 00:27:53,587 I don't know, maybe they were. 478 00:27:53,698 --> 00:27:56,166 Shit, it's 1:30 already. Come on, let's go. 479 00:27:59,537 --> 00:28:01,664 Hey, baby, you want to break this down? 480 00:28:01,772 --> 00:28:03,535 We should be clackalacking, too. 481 00:28:03,641 --> 00:28:04,699 NICK: Okey-dokey. 482 00:28:04,809 --> 00:28:05,833 GINA: Thank you. 483 00:28:08,112 --> 00:28:10,307 So, you guys don't mind if we tag along? 484 00:28:10,414 --> 00:28:13,144 I mean, we're all going to the same place. 485 00:28:13,618 --> 00:28:15,051 It's fine with me. 486 00:28:16,754 --> 00:28:18,585 Yeah. Are you kidding? 487 00:28:20,925 --> 00:28:22,324 Did you take the permits? 488 00:28:22,426 --> 00:28:23,552 No, I didn't touch them. 489 00:28:24,161 --> 00:28:26,823 Well, I put them right here in this brochure. 490 00:28:27,765 --> 00:28:30,063 Did you leave them at the store? 491 00:28:30,434 --> 00:28:34,734 No. I'm pretty sure I put... No, I'm positive I put... Shit! 492 00:29:00,698 --> 00:29:02,495 While we're still young, Cliff? 493 00:29:03,968 --> 00:29:05,435 Yeah, one sec! 494 00:29:13,377 --> 00:29:14,901 We leave no man behind. 495 00:29:15,079 --> 00:29:16,637 These are some hard yards. 496 00:29:34,131 --> 00:29:37,897 Guess you can't have rainbows without a little rain. Right? 497 00:29:48,679 --> 00:29:51,944 You hear that Cliff here is a big screenplay writer? 498 00:29:52,316 --> 00:29:54,511 You write for the movies? 499 00:29:55,052 --> 00:29:56,815 Whoopty-tah. 500 00:29:56,921 --> 00:29:57,910 Yeah, we say screenwriter. 501 00:29:58,022 --> 00:30:00,115 He's on the prowl for a new story. Sorry. 502 00:30:00,224 --> 00:30:01,521 You know, I could tell you shit you ain't seen 503 00:30:01,625 --> 00:30:03,149 in no Hollywood movie before. 504 00:30:03,260 --> 00:30:04,852 You watch yourself now. 505 00:30:04,962 --> 00:30:05,951 What? 506 00:30:06,130 --> 00:30:08,098 What, what? You know what. 507 00:30:08,199 --> 00:30:11,896 Maybe Cliff here can change the names to protect the guilty. 508 00:30:12,069 --> 00:30:13,058 You guys do that in movies, right? 509 00:30:13,170 --> 00:30:14,194 Yeah. 510 00:30:14,305 --> 00:30:16,330 You know Johnny Depp? He knows Nic Cage. 511 00:30:16,474 --> 00:30:17,839 You see him playing me in some movie? 512 00:30:17,942 --> 00:30:19,409 Baby, you know Nic Cage? 513 00:30:19,510 --> 00:30:21,375 Yeah. Yeah, I do now. 514 00:30:21,779 --> 00:30:24,339 No. See, me, myself, I like that Johnny Depp better. 515 00:30:24,448 --> 00:30:28,817 I mean, he is just dreamy. I mean, the way he looks at you. 516 00:30:28,919 --> 00:30:32,377 Jesus Christ. Honey! It all starts with story. 517 00:30:32,490 --> 00:30:33,479 Am I right, Cliff? 518 00:30:33,591 --> 00:30:34,615 Yeah. 519 00:30:35,159 --> 00:30:38,026 You know, I once made a surprise visit in a certain dictator's palace 520 00:30:38,129 --> 00:30:39,357 on the Tigris River? 521 00:30:39,463 --> 00:30:42,364 Newly evacuated. Still smell the Havana tobacco 522 00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:43,763 hanging in the air. 523 00:30:43,868 --> 00:30:46,166 We were tasked with finding perishable intel, computer dish, 524 00:30:46,270 --> 00:30:47,328 shit like that. 525 00:30:47,438 --> 00:30:49,201 But in the master bathroom, 526 00:30:49,306 --> 00:30:51,866 about the size of fucking Ethiopia, by the way, 527 00:30:51,976 --> 00:30:54,035 there's golden dolphins for faucets. 528 00:30:54,145 --> 00:30:56,773 There was this lock box bolted to the floor, 529 00:30:56,881 --> 00:30:58,940 had his initials engraved on top. 530 00:30:59,050 --> 00:31:00,574 We started beating on that fucking lock... 531 00:31:00,684 --> 00:31:02,652 Wait, Iraq? You were in Iraq? 532 00:31:02,753 --> 00:31:03,811 NICK: Yeah, first in. 533 00:31:04,488 --> 00:31:06,046 Me and my wolf pack. 534 00:31:06,157 --> 00:31:09,558 Fuck those pictures you saw of the 4th Infantry. That was later. 535 00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:11,787 What I'm giving you now is God's real shit. 536 00:31:11,896 --> 00:31:14,364 He is not supposed to be talking about this stuff. 537 00:31:14,465 --> 00:31:19,300 So, inside this box, I figured maybe cash, 538 00:31:20,004 --> 00:31:22,370 maybe a set of pearl-handled pistolas. 539 00:31:22,473 --> 00:31:26,569 Hell, maybe some damn fine presidential-grade hashish. 540 00:31:26,677 --> 00:31:29,441 We finally burned it open with a 50-grain det cord. 541 00:31:29,547 --> 00:31:31,447 It's a handy tool, det cord. Yeah. 542 00:31:31,549 --> 00:31:34,211 Wrap it around a tree, three-feet thick. 543 00:31:34,351 --> 00:31:35,943 Drop it across a trail when someone's hot on your ass. 544 00:31:36,053 --> 00:31:37,077 Remember that trick. 545 00:31:37,188 --> 00:31:40,021 Yeah. A det cord. That's a nice detail. 546 00:31:40,124 --> 00:31:41,682 Well, you gotta get the details right, Cliff. 547 00:31:41,792 --> 00:31:45,125 Otherwise, we're just making another big craptastic movie. 548 00:31:45,229 --> 00:31:47,595 So, we opened this thing. What do we find? 549 00:31:47,698 --> 00:31:48,995 What do we find? What do we find? 550 00:31:49,100 --> 00:31:52,467 Iron Man. Avengers. Dude was a Silver Age Marvel freak. 551 00:31:52,603 --> 00:31:55,401 And you know what he had most of in his own personal stash? 552 00:31:55,506 --> 00:31:56,905 I don't know, Nick. I wasn't there. 553 00:31:57,007 --> 00:31:58,133 Sub-Mariner. 554 00:31:58,242 --> 00:31:59,607 All in French What? For some reason. 555 00:31:59,710 --> 00:32:01,075 Namor, prince of the deep? Yeah. 556 00:32:01,178 --> 00:32:03,612 Why Sub-Mariner? Isn't that, like, one of the shit titles? 557 00:32:03,714 --> 00:32:07,275 One theory, tug-job material. 558 00:32:07,384 --> 00:32:09,875 Mr. Presidente had a thing for French-speaking fellows, 559 00:32:10,020 --> 00:32:12,818 little Speedos and big spears. One theory. 560 00:32:17,495 --> 00:32:22,091 So, you were, like, Special Ops. 561 00:32:23,234 --> 00:32:25,429 What were you? Seals? Rangers? 562 00:32:27,872 --> 00:32:29,339 Officially, I'm only allowed to say 563 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:30,805 that I've been a sworn officer 564 00:32:30,908 --> 00:32:33,741 participating in a tactical phase of certain missions 565 00:32:33,844 --> 00:32:35,971 that would make most men want to crawl up 566 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,742 and hide inside their own assholes. 567 00:32:38,849 --> 00:32:40,441 And unofficially? 568 00:32:42,086 --> 00:32:44,179 I'm a goddamn American Jedi. 569 00:32:46,223 --> 00:32:48,817 Possible title number one, by the way. 570 00:32:51,328 --> 00:32:53,660 Hey. See this? 571 00:32:54,064 --> 00:32:55,156 (EXCLAIMS) 572 00:32:58,669 --> 00:33:02,503 Took a frag from a Bouncing Betty. It's an antipersonnel mine. 573 00:33:03,941 --> 00:33:06,501 Caved in the back of my fucking head. 574 00:33:06,610 --> 00:33:07,804 (LAUGHS) 575 00:33:10,114 --> 00:33:11,308 Medevaced out to Germany. 576 00:33:11,415 --> 00:33:14,976 Got my skull rebuilt with space-age titanium. 577 00:33:15,085 --> 00:33:17,212 Can't go through a metal detector without ringing cherries, 578 00:33:17,321 --> 00:33:18,549 but that's cool. 579 00:33:18,656 --> 00:33:22,114 Lets me travel with Gilligan just about wherever I want. 580 00:33:22,226 --> 00:33:23,454 Gilligan? 581 00:33:29,333 --> 00:33:30,891 My little buddy. 582 00:33:35,206 --> 00:33:36,901 That's some toothpick. 583 00:33:37,007 --> 00:33:42,138 Here's the kicker, though. When I took that shrapnel, I never felt it. 584 00:33:43,113 --> 00:33:46,207 I mean, I felt the impact and I felt my backside go all wet, 585 00:33:46,317 --> 00:33:47,875 but no real pain. 586 00:33:47,985 --> 00:33:50,385 Now, maybe I don't recall events in full. 587 00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:54,480 They did scoop out a little gray Spam back there, but get this. 588 00:33:55,226 --> 00:33:58,423 My wolf pack? They will swear that I was ambulatory 589 00:33:58,529 --> 00:33:59,894 for more than 17 minutes 590 00:33:59,997 --> 00:34:02,557 before they forced me to lie down. Tackled me. 591 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,335 Even then I was looking to monkey-fuck a Marlboro Light. 592 00:34:08,005 --> 00:34:10,974 There's no nerve endings in the brain, Cliff. 593 00:34:12,142 --> 00:34:14,804 Remember that when you write the scene. 594 00:34:16,146 --> 00:34:19,138 Yeah. There's some really good details there. 595 00:34:20,551 --> 00:34:22,815 Yeah, he's really hard to kill. 596 00:34:38,902 --> 00:34:40,995 Hey. Y'all make it to the beach? 597 00:34:41,105 --> 00:34:43,130 Yeah, it's great. Just keep going. 598 00:34:48,012 --> 00:34:50,480 Hey. You see any rangers up ahead? 599 00:34:50,581 --> 00:34:51,570 None that I saw. 600 00:34:51,682 --> 00:34:54,116 It's only, like, three miles to the beach, we hope? 601 00:34:54,218 --> 00:34:56,982 Yeah, but lots of twists and turns ahead. 602 00:34:59,657 --> 00:35:03,787 Hey, the further we go, the fewer people on the trail. 603 00:35:04,928 --> 00:35:06,555 And your point is? 604 00:35:12,002 --> 00:35:14,470 Back there. Pretend you gotta pee. 605 00:35:15,639 --> 00:35:16,833 Pretend? 606 00:35:18,275 --> 00:35:19,401 (GROANS) 607 00:35:22,112 --> 00:35:25,240 The cops in Honolulu released a photo of the killers. 608 00:35:25,916 --> 00:35:29,044 Apparently, they didn't know they were on camera. 609 00:35:31,288 --> 00:35:32,482 Come on. 610 00:35:34,558 --> 00:35:35,923 Shit. What? 611 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,831 It could be anybody. 612 00:35:44,935 --> 00:35:46,027 Are you sure about that? 613 00:35:47,471 --> 00:35:49,769 They don't look familiar to you? 614 00:35:51,308 --> 00:35:53,299 Y'all good or what? 615 00:35:53,410 --> 00:35:54,968 Having a bathroom break! 616 00:35:57,214 --> 00:36:00,547 You are freaking me out! It could be anybody. 617 00:36:03,153 --> 00:36:05,121 I mean, what do we really know about these people 618 00:36:05,222 --> 00:36:06,849 aside from him and his stories? 619 00:36:06,957 --> 00:36:08,424 Which, I might add, are starting to sound 620 00:36:08,525 --> 00:36:10,186 more and more bullshitty to me. 621 00:36:10,294 --> 00:36:11,352 Next thing we're going to find out 622 00:36:11,462 --> 00:36:13,896 he's got the heart of a baboon or something. 623 00:36:13,997 --> 00:36:15,487 I think he's just trying to impress. 624 00:36:15,632 --> 00:36:17,725 I mean, you know, he thinks you're going to write a movie 625 00:36:17,835 --> 00:36:19,803 about his life or something. 626 00:36:20,404 --> 00:36:21,962 What do we know? 627 00:36:23,907 --> 00:36:27,104 Well, she's from Savannah. Her father is a controlling military shit. 628 00:36:27,211 --> 00:36:29,179 She rebelled. She met Nick in South Carolina, 629 00:36:29,279 --> 00:36:30,712 but he reminded her too much of Daddy. 630 00:36:30,814 --> 00:36:32,714 He chased her until finally giving up and moving on, 631 00:36:32,816 --> 00:36:34,784 but that's when she got interested in him, of course. 632 00:36:34,885 --> 00:36:35,977 It's their first time in Hawaii. 633 00:36:36,086 --> 00:36:37,781 They thought Waikiki was a little Las Vegas, 634 00:36:37,888 --> 00:36:40,379 but they love it here on Kauai. 635 00:36:40,491 --> 00:36:41,822 Girls talk. 636 00:36:45,529 --> 00:36:47,520 So, they were on Oahu, too. 637 00:36:50,901 --> 00:36:52,528 I guess they were. 638 00:37:06,283 --> 00:37:08,774 Interesting guy, Cliff. 639 00:37:08,886 --> 00:37:09,875 Yeah. 640 00:37:10,254 --> 00:37:13,951 First man ever who wants to talk while he's in the bathroom. 641 00:37:14,758 --> 00:37:16,851 What is going on back there? 642 00:37:19,029 --> 00:37:21,554 You keep shaking that bush so we know you're there. 643 00:37:21,665 --> 00:37:22,632 Keep shaking that bush, Luke! 644 00:37:37,612 --> 00:37:38,704 (GRUNTING) 645 00:37:41,016 --> 00:37:44,110 I mean, we're supposed to be on our honeymoon. Okay? 646 00:37:44,319 --> 00:37:47,914 So, slow down that overactive brain of yours 647 00:37:48,023 --> 00:37:50,184 'cause I want to enjoy myself here. 648 00:37:51,026 --> 00:37:53,392 Babe, we're gonna be fine. 649 00:38:07,109 --> 00:38:09,577 Well, I guess the beach will still be there tomorrow. 650 00:38:09,678 --> 00:38:11,509 Yeah, I hope we are. 651 00:38:18,053 --> 00:38:24,925 All right. We got macaroni and cheese with real imitation cheese. 652 00:38:25,827 --> 00:38:28,921 Honey, that's a vegetable dish where I come from. 653 00:38:29,031 --> 00:38:30,396 What else you got? 654 00:38:30,565 --> 00:38:32,795 Vegetarian corned beef hash. 655 00:38:33,735 --> 00:38:35,669 What is vegetarian corned beef hash? 656 00:38:35,771 --> 00:38:37,204 That is suspicious, 657 00:38:37,672 --> 00:38:40,300 but I might dig into that 658 00:38:41,209 --> 00:38:43,973 before eating chicken omelet surprise. 659 00:38:44,312 --> 00:38:45,506 What's so bad about that? 660 00:38:45,614 --> 00:38:49,550 Well, the surprise is that they're gonna take the egg out of the chicken, 661 00:38:49,818 --> 00:38:53,151 whip it up, and then put the chicken back into the egg. 662 00:38:53,255 --> 00:38:54,620 (BOTH LAUGH) 663 00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,027 (METAL HAMMERING) 664 00:39:14,074 --> 00:39:14,768 That's good reflexes, for a writer. 665 00:39:22,782 --> 00:39:25,808 NICK: What? I love that stuff. 666 00:39:47,941 --> 00:39:49,374 What? 667 00:39:49,476 --> 00:39:50,602 What, what? 668 00:39:50,877 --> 00:39:52,174 What do you mean, "What, what"? 669 00:39:52,278 --> 00:39:54,576 What's everybody looking at? 670 00:39:55,315 --> 00:39:57,283 CYDNEY: Whatever he's looking at. 671 00:40:03,223 --> 00:40:06,989 Probably just a goat. There's a lot of them in these valleys. 672 00:40:13,099 --> 00:40:15,067 I haven't seen any goats. 673 00:40:15,902 --> 00:40:18,132 I don't expect you would, Cliff. 674 00:40:18,505 --> 00:40:22,999 Your situational awareness kind of sucks. That's not a knock. 675 00:40:23,109 --> 00:40:26,078 You're a screenwriter. I'm a Jedi. 676 00:40:26,179 --> 00:40:27,976 That's just different paths we chose. 677 00:40:30,416 --> 00:40:32,179 Think they kill them first? 678 00:40:33,753 --> 00:40:35,778 Or he just drown in there? 679 00:40:37,357 --> 00:40:39,587 I always wondered. 680 00:40:39,692 --> 00:40:41,023 No, I'm good. 681 00:40:42,128 --> 00:40:44,824 Just so I know whether or not to be offended, 682 00:40:44,931 --> 00:40:47,365 define "situational awareness.' ' 683 00:40:47,467 --> 00:40:50,595 What's the first thing you do when you step onto a plane? 684 00:40:50,703 --> 00:40:53,831 Maybe you have a sip of that fine champagne? 685 00:40:54,908 --> 00:40:56,967 You do fly in first class, right? 686 00:40:58,111 --> 00:41:00,773 I put away my shit, like everyone else. 687 00:41:03,283 --> 00:41:04,443 (CHUCKLES) 688 00:41:04,617 --> 00:41:09,316 Well, when I board a plane, making my way back to the cheap seats, 689 00:41:09,756 --> 00:41:11,451 I clock every door. 690 00:41:11,791 --> 00:41:14,817 I pace off the distance between those exits and my seat. 691 00:41:14,928 --> 00:41:16,987 That plane loses power on takeoff, 692 00:41:17,096 --> 00:41:19,690 I can make egress in the dark, totally blind. 693 00:41:19,799 --> 00:41:22,893 If the aisle crowds up, I'm going to climb over the back of 36D, 694 00:41:23,002 --> 00:41:26,438 guy with that shiny-ass toupee, make the over-the-wing exit. 695 00:41:26,539 --> 00:41:28,302 And I know the handle swings down, not up. 696 00:41:28,408 --> 00:41:30,535 And I know the door swings in, not out. 697 00:41:30,643 --> 00:41:32,907 And I know all that inside of 30 seconds, 698 00:41:33,012 --> 00:41:37,210 before they even pop the cork for you up there in Hollywood class. 699 00:41:37,317 --> 00:41:38,545 (LAUGHS) 700 00:41:39,452 --> 00:41:43,912 See, if you wait till the emergency happens before you decide what to do, 701 00:41:44,857 --> 00:41:46,586 you're already dead. 702 00:41:50,129 --> 00:41:52,359 What chance do you have of that happening? 703 00:41:52,465 --> 00:41:53,591 Happened in Sioux City. 704 00:41:53,700 --> 00:41:54,758 Sioux City? 705 00:41:54,867 --> 00:41:57,859 DC-10. It rolled four times on landing. 706 00:41:58,905 --> 00:42:02,568 Wound up in an Iowa cornfield, 112 people dead. 707 00:42:03,009 --> 00:42:05,273 Yeah, I remember seeing that on TV. 708 00:42:05,378 --> 00:42:08,040 Yeah. I saw it from the inside. 709 00:42:09,415 --> 00:42:12,009 He is really hard to kill. 710 00:42:18,057 --> 00:42:19,285 Let's go. 711 00:42:21,227 --> 00:42:23,821 Hey! What are you going to do with that thing? 712 00:42:23,930 --> 00:42:26,330 Dinner. Come on. 713 00:42:26,432 --> 00:42:29,993 Dry underwear, but thanks, though. 714 00:42:31,304 --> 00:42:34,102 (MOCKINGLY) Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. 715 00:42:34,207 --> 00:42:36,698 Come on, kitty, kitty. Kitty, kitty. 716 00:42:39,345 --> 00:42:40,835 Excuse me? 717 00:42:40,947 --> 00:42:42,073 It's no problem. 718 00:42:42,381 --> 00:42:44,246 You want to stay in the kitchen with the lady folks, 719 00:42:44,350 --> 00:42:46,181 you stay. 720 00:42:46,486 --> 00:42:48,681 Yeah, I'm an adult, 721 00:42:48,788 --> 00:42:52,622 so that kitty noise, that's not... Doesn't work anymore. 722 00:43:14,447 --> 00:43:17,177 You know, it crossed my mind 723 00:43:19,118 --> 00:43:22,645 that it crossed your mind that we're the ones. 724 00:43:24,023 --> 00:43:25,388 Me and Gina. 725 00:43:27,493 --> 00:43:28,790 The ones who... 726 00:43:28,895 --> 00:43:30,123 It's okay, Cliff. 727 00:43:30,229 --> 00:43:32,663 That's your screenplay-writer mind working its magic, 728 00:43:32,765 --> 00:43:36,292 spinning shit every which way. You gotta think like that. 729 00:43:36,736 --> 00:43:39,500 What? The killers? 730 00:43:40,039 --> 00:43:41,802 "The Gruesome Twosome.' ' 731 00:43:43,609 --> 00:43:45,600 Possible title number two. 732 00:43:46,279 --> 00:43:48,645 See, now I think your mind's spinning, Nick. 733 00:43:48,748 --> 00:43:50,079 So, you think it's just a coincidence 734 00:43:50,183 --> 00:43:51,878 we were there at the same time on Oahu? 735 00:43:51,984 --> 00:43:53,474 Just like Cydney and I were there. 736 00:43:53,586 --> 00:43:55,577 Just a lot of people on Oahu when the murders happened. 737 00:43:55,688 --> 00:43:56,655 That's the way you look at it? 738 00:43:56,756 --> 00:43:58,883 That's exactly how I look at it, Nick. 739 00:43:58,991 --> 00:44:00,049 Good. 740 00:44:02,094 --> 00:44:04,995 Though it would make a hell of an Act 2 twist. 741 00:44:10,336 --> 00:44:13,669 We're not really hunting goats here, are we? 742 00:44:13,773 --> 00:44:14,831 No. 743 00:44:16,709 --> 00:44:20,167 Then mind telling me what the hell we are doing out here? 744 00:44:20,279 --> 00:44:22,338 We got us a shadow. Two of them. 745 00:44:22,448 --> 00:44:25,281 Haven't identified them as hostile yet, but they passed by our camp, 746 00:44:25,384 --> 00:44:26,783 double backed for a second look 747 00:44:26,886 --> 00:44:29,946 and then they took cover somewhere in here. 748 00:44:31,023 --> 00:44:33,116 I know, you didn't see them. 749 00:44:34,026 --> 00:44:35,186 People from the Falls? 750 00:44:35,294 --> 00:44:36,386 It's someone else. 751 00:44:36,495 --> 00:44:38,190 All right, should get back to camp. Come on. 752 00:44:38,297 --> 00:44:40,492 Gina could take care of herself. 753 00:44:41,033 --> 00:44:43,160 I was thinking about Cydney. 754 00:44:43,736 --> 00:44:46,000 Gina could take care of her, too. 755 00:44:46,672 --> 00:44:49,140 Are you just so fucking with me, Nick? 756 00:44:49,242 --> 00:44:52,211 If I was the killer, I wouldn't stay in Oahu. 757 00:44:53,379 --> 00:44:55,643 I'd come right here. 758 00:44:55,748 --> 00:44:56,772 Wait. 759 00:44:58,918 --> 00:45:01,978 CYDNEY: I'm a little worried about Cliff. 760 00:45:03,422 --> 00:45:06,858 He's not really, you know, the bow and arrow type. 761 00:45:07,026 --> 00:45:08,186 Please. 762 00:45:08,394 --> 00:45:09,656 Boys are happiest when they're hunting 763 00:45:09,762 --> 00:45:12,754 something they can't quite catch. 764 00:45:13,366 --> 00:45:16,961 Besides, gives us a little time together. 765 00:45:22,875 --> 00:45:25,139 No, dope's not really my thing. 766 00:45:28,581 --> 00:45:31,846 So, what is your thing, Cydney? 767 00:45:31,951 --> 00:45:34,715 'Cause we really hadn't heard yet. 768 00:45:36,455 --> 00:45:38,980 It would sound kind of boring to you. 769 00:45:39,292 --> 00:45:40,691 Well, try me. 770 00:45:44,461 --> 00:45:48,454 Well, we've been working really hard at getting pregnant. 771 00:45:49,033 --> 00:45:52,059 We're gonna have five kids, two boys and three girls, 772 00:45:52,169 --> 00:45:57,505 and they'll be beautiful beyond belief, of course. 773 00:45:58,242 --> 00:46:01,541 We wanna get a place in the Palisades, close to one of the bluffs. 774 00:46:01,645 --> 00:46:04,079 Take long walks in the summertime, 775 00:46:04,181 --> 00:46:06,547 and watch all the boats come in. 776 00:46:07,518 --> 00:46:12,478 You know, and it'll just be us, you know, our family. 777 00:46:13,490 --> 00:46:17,927 And I guess, you know, I'll just be happy being called Mom 778 00:46:18,862 --> 00:46:20,727 and Mrs. Cydney Anderson 779 00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:24,765 for a while. 780 00:46:27,438 --> 00:46:32,307 You know, there was this preacher back in Georgia 781 00:46:32,943 --> 00:46:36,777 and he used to tell all us kids how we would rot in hell 782 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,542 for having sex outside the sanctity of marriage. 783 00:46:39,650 --> 00:46:43,609 And then one day, you know, bless his little heart, 784 00:46:43,721 --> 00:46:47,589 his wife caught him out back the Waffle House with some hooker. 785 00:46:49,326 --> 00:46:51,521 A hooker with a really big dick. 786 00:46:54,365 --> 00:46:59,962 Yeah. So, now when people wanna tell me 787 00:47:00,070 --> 00:47:03,301 how so fucking perfect their lives are, 788 00:47:06,010 --> 00:47:07,773 I don't believe them. 789 00:47:12,116 --> 00:47:13,276 Um... 790 00:47:46,016 --> 00:47:47,142 (WHISPERS) Hey! 791 00:47:49,887 --> 00:47:50,979 Nick! 792 00:47:55,893 --> 00:47:58,259 I do lie about my old life sometimes. 793 00:47:59,063 --> 00:48:01,964 See, when my parents stopped slapping the crap out of each other 794 00:48:02,066 --> 00:48:03,693 and split up, 795 00:48:04,435 --> 00:48:07,666 they decided that they could have two kids each. 796 00:48:07,771 --> 00:48:10,968 The problem was there was five kids, 797 00:48:11,075 --> 00:48:15,171 so I did the foster scare thing for a while 798 00:48:15,279 --> 00:48:19,181 and that only lasted until I met this guy named Rocky. 799 00:48:19,283 --> 00:48:21,547 He was a couple of years older. 800 00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:26,983 And it's so funny. Everyone in the neighborhood 801 00:48:27,091 --> 00:48:31,027 thought he was like this fine, young gentleman, you know. 802 00:48:31,128 --> 00:48:35,189 But I saw something different in him, something risky, 803 00:48:35,733 --> 00:48:36,722 something crooked and cool. 804 00:48:39,702 --> 00:48:42,728 Didn't hurt that he had his own truck, neither. 805 00:48:43,206 --> 00:48:44,673 He did. (LAUGHS) Yeah. 806 00:48:45,475 --> 00:48:49,969 Wrong paint on one door, but damn, he had some nice chrome wheels on it. 807 00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:51,479 Yeah. I know Rocky. 808 00:48:52,449 --> 00:48:56,749 Yeah, this one night, he drove me out onto the lake. 809 00:48:58,555 --> 00:49:00,921 And it was hot and raining. 810 00:49:01,424 --> 00:49:04,723 And I had the top button of my shorts 811 00:49:04,828 --> 00:49:07,422 all undone for this guy, you know, 812 00:49:07,530 --> 00:49:11,125 and just hoping this is why we came down here. 813 00:49:12,001 --> 00:49:13,263 Oh, God. 814 00:49:13,369 --> 00:49:18,068 You know, I remember the way the cracks in the vinyl seat 815 00:49:18,174 --> 00:49:20,699 were pinching the back of my legs. 816 00:49:20,810 --> 00:49:22,072 You know, and that was bothering me, 817 00:49:22,178 --> 00:49:25,409 but what he was doing with his fingers sure wasn't. 818 00:49:25,515 --> 00:49:29,349 And suddenly, he's in my hand, all slippery and nice, 819 00:49:29,452 --> 00:49:31,283 and he's about to go off. 820 00:49:31,387 --> 00:49:34,720 And I'm about to come for, like, the first time, ever. 821 00:49:37,026 --> 00:49:38,926 And then he puts the headlights on. 822 00:49:41,764 --> 00:49:44,631 And he makes me get out of the car to go... 823 00:49:46,001 --> 00:49:48,970 Go look at something over by a pile of leaves. 824 00:49:51,540 --> 00:49:54,976 And it was Goldie, the neighbor's Labrador. 825 00:49:57,045 --> 00:49:58,740 And he still had... 826 00:49:59,848 --> 00:50:02,373 He still had the panty hose wrapped around his neck 827 00:50:02,484 --> 00:50:05,044 from when he had hung it from a tree. 828 00:50:10,392 --> 00:50:14,089 He said he would kill me if I ever told anybody. 829 00:50:19,268 --> 00:50:22,066 Well, did you ever tell anybody? 830 00:50:27,342 --> 00:50:28,400 Yeah. 831 00:50:31,246 --> 00:50:32,543 Right now. 832 00:50:37,386 --> 00:50:38,512 (EXCLAIMS) 833 00:50:43,325 --> 00:50:44,451 Jesus! 834 00:50:44,726 --> 00:50:46,091 (BOTH LAUGHING) 835 00:50:49,898 --> 00:50:52,924 You know, it always amazes me how much people talk about themselves 836 00:50:53,068 --> 00:50:54,626 when they're on vacation. 837 00:50:54,770 --> 00:50:56,795 Talk to people they only just met. 838 00:50:57,940 --> 00:50:59,373 Yeah. 839 00:51:02,244 --> 00:51:03,302 Yeah. 840 00:51:34,443 --> 00:51:35,432 MAN: Hey, what you doing? 841 00:51:35,544 --> 00:51:36,704 (YELLING) 842 00:51:38,213 --> 00:51:40,579 Cliff, yeah? Cliff Anderson. 843 00:51:42,584 --> 00:51:43,676 What are you doing? 844 00:51:43,785 --> 00:51:45,377 I thought that was you, but then I seen four peeps instead of two, 845 00:51:45,487 --> 00:51:47,114 you know, I got all mixed up and... 846 00:51:47,222 --> 00:51:49,850 But what are you doing here? Why are you following us and who is that female? 847 00:51:49,958 --> 00:51:51,152 That's my bitch, Jessie. 848 00:51:51,259 --> 00:51:52,624 But what are you doing here? 849 00:51:52,727 --> 00:51:54,058 Your permits, brother. 850 00:51:54,162 --> 00:51:56,562 You had leave them at the store, okay? 851 00:51:58,133 --> 00:51:59,122 You came all this way just to... 852 00:51:59,234 --> 00:52:01,099 Auntie thought you needed them. 853 00:52:01,202 --> 00:52:02,692 This ain't the mainland, brother. 854 00:52:02,804 --> 00:52:04,965 We do this shit here, okay? 855 00:52:05,073 --> 00:52:06,131 Okay? 856 00:52:06,574 --> 00:52:09,668 All right. All right, I'm sorry. Okay? Easy. 857 00:52:10,078 --> 00:52:12,569 No, no, no. Hey, I'm sorry. I'm... 858 00:52:13,915 --> 00:52:15,644 I guess we're all just stressed 859 00:52:16,317 --> 00:52:19,775 with those killers being over here now. I'm really sorry. 860 00:52:19,954 --> 00:52:21,353 Here. No, no, no. 861 00:52:21,556 --> 00:52:23,114 On this island? 862 00:52:23,691 --> 00:52:25,318 Yeah. My papers, brother. 863 00:52:27,228 --> 00:52:30,493 I... I saw a news report on it. You didn't? 864 00:52:30,999 --> 00:52:33,763 No. I don't watch the news. 865 00:52:34,202 --> 00:52:36,636 It's way too informational. 866 00:52:36,738 --> 00:52:37,966 (EXHALES) 867 00:52:38,406 --> 00:52:42,900 Hey, just... Why don't you come back to camp and have some dinner with us? 868 00:52:43,778 --> 00:52:47,236 Okay? You and your bitch friend. 869 00:52:47,715 --> 00:52:51,082 Thanks, but you know what, I'm not feeling the running stream of love over here, 870 00:52:51,186 --> 00:52:53,950 you know what I mean? Here's your permits. 871 00:52:54,222 --> 00:52:57,350 I'm gonna head on back to town. Careful on that trail. Huh? 872 00:52:58,660 --> 00:53:01,128 Mess you up good unless you know it good. 873 00:53:16,878 --> 00:53:19,005 Hey, babe, where you been? Are you okay? 874 00:53:19,113 --> 00:53:20,580 Yeah. 875 00:53:20,682 --> 00:53:21,910 Where's Nicko at? 876 00:53:22,016 --> 00:53:25,315 Last time I saw him, he was up in... 877 00:53:25,820 --> 00:53:27,788 I don't know, over there. 878 00:53:39,199 --> 00:53:40,894 Well, look at that.65249

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