Original subtitles

My name is Mr.

Bones, but I am not...

the Mr. Bones whom you may have met.

No, I am in fact his great -great -grandfather.

And my story took place many, many moons ago when I was

the prophet of the Kuvuki tribe.

It is a story of love, of magic, and an

adventure.

Through time.

My king.

Springbok.

My sacred wand.

I'm doing it with purpose.

He has killed one of our sacred springlock.

He will pay dearly.

Satana!

Limby, you better go home.

I think you have glinted a little.

I'm telling you, Kunji Bai, that cursed stone you stole, yaar, has brought us

nothing but bad luck.

Don't worry, I'll soon be long gone from these British bastards and their stupid

war. Then I'm going to sell this stone for such a heap of gold.

Go back to India, buy me a houseboat and a bride.

Oh, my God, she will need a tweezer to find your chili -sized winky yard.

Your mother's dog.

Well, shout, savage.

You bloody heathen!

You bloody bastard!

Go shit in your head, mate! Get him! Get him! After him!

Against the woman.

There will be happiness and many children for our king and our queen.

Thank you, Gregoire.

Thank you, Gregoire.

The little

stone from outside has thrown them apart.

Safe. But what of children for you, Bongo?

Ah, my king, during my life I have played at times to the great one who

she who would play the strings of my heart.

But the great one has not yet answered my prayers.

Perhaps it is because with woman I am like the springbok when it is cornered

the lion.

I tremble then I run

Yeah, Bobo. With woman, one day, the great one will shine his light

upon me.

Mm -hmm. Ah, so.

When you

play the guara -guara, the most important thing to remember...

is to always feel the nob -tank through the quarterstone.

Always remember to keep your head down.

If you don't keep your head down,

the quarterstick will kick you in the trunk.

Beauty, you are not well.

What seems to be the problem, Big Mama?

I see.

Be still, Big Mama.

Here,

my big

-winged Mama.

We will get rid of this ugly thing.

Okay, quiet, quiet, quiet.

from this darkness.

Please, my little one.

Yes,

great

one. Speak to me.

Here lies me.

The destiny pointer is clear.

Forward lies our path.

This one is speaking of love.

Pray, yes, love.

But we only have three days.

Three days before this evil will devour us.

Mosquito, go!

That is not the river or the insects.

We know this is not Kufuki land.

Where are we?

I do not know.

My king, when we were taken from Kufuki land...

Maybe I am cured and we can go home. No.

No. The great one has brought us to this place.

We only have three days.

My bones spoke through when the penis and woman bones were thrown apart.

How?

What strange wagon is that?

I dare the oxen to pull it.

What strange wood is this?

My king!

What?

You are dead!

Mr. Bones, can I tell you a little about...

Great one, you have brought us here.

Show us the path.

It's in KwaZulu -Natal.

Where is KwaZulu -Natal?

Are you South African?

No, I am a person.

Okay, well, here's my car.

Let's get in.

All right, move back.

On the bed, please. On the bed. How did you get from Kavaki?

Kuvuki land. Kuvuki land. The great one. He brought us. No. The great one.

Open.

Close.

Enough. Leave it now. He's the great one.

He brought us here to find the home of the stone.

Oh, the stone.

Right. Doctor.

Doctor.

Where are the bones?

No bones.

Sit. Sit down. No bones. No bones.

These people are too clever.

Bloody escombe.

The sun has gone down.

This was a very short day.

The sun has gone up again.

What a short night.

Mama,

what

is wrong with this beautiful little one?

He's got a stomach problem.

I will throw my bones.

Your bones?

It

is the

foot of the skunk.

The smelly one.

Problem is not the stomach, no.

Mama, give me the little one.

Come, little one.

Mr. Bones, will you? Yeah, but don't cry. Don't cry.

Okay.

The problem not the stomach.

The nose.

Ah, you were the silly one. Now me, Bones, made you the happy one.

You must get yourself the bones.

Bones? Tell me, how did this happen? I mean, you are a white man. How did you

become a Sangoma?

I only know what was told to me by Hekule's father, who was then the king

of the Kuvuki people.

He found me as a young boy, lost.

raised me as his own.

And in time he found that I had the gift of seeing.

I'd like you to come with me to my workplace.

There's someone you have to meet.

And to tell me more. All that if you want to.

Oh, yes.

Thank you.

Great one.

Oh, my mama.

This is your work list?

That's it.

My God.

My God.

Hello!

Just put all your bags and all your stuff here.

I call her. I call her.

Hey, hey, hey.

Just drop your ass, guy, and your attitude.

Otherwise, I'll lock you up.

How? Lock up? I call her.

Hang on.

In fact, it's all truly unreal.

Oh, yeah? Tell me. I mean truly, truly unreal.

They come from this place called Kavuka, Kavaki, or something.

Anyway, let me introduce you to Bones and Hekule, my two gentlemen.

Okay. Guys, I want you to meet a friend of mine. This is Anita.

She's a historian, and she comes from Nigeria.

Bones, what are you holding behind your back? What?

You need the loo.

Bones!

Bones!

Bones, actually, my name is Reshmi. You do realize that that vase was donated to

this museum by Mahatma Gandhi?

Love, the vase was an accident. Really, it was. Anyway, I want you to meet Bones

and Hercules.

They're from... Well, they're kind of lost.

Oh. Did you get separated from your brothers?

This is... a baboon.

My point exactly.

Carrot, please.

I want you to look at something. Bones, give me the stone, please.

Can you tell me where this comes from?

It could possibly be Indian.

Hey?

Give me a moment with it.

He must bring back the stone. No, it's fine. He'll bring it back.

Carrot is a professor of gemstones and jewelry.

And the mampara.

Indus Valley.

Sixth century BC.

Oh. One.

British Museum, London.

One in the Tutankhamun collection. Third one.

Whereabouts unknown.

Value. Sixties.

Seven million dollars.

Oh, it's in dollars.

Oh, oh.

I'm telling you, it has happened now three times. So you're telling me that

Hercules physically changes into this little Indian?

Yes. His voice, his body.

Even his tiny little infant.

Pippi.

You don't believe me.

No, it's... It's not easy.

How? What is he?

Man?

Big. Big man.

Well.

The stone has no value because it is made of glass.

Glass? Yep.

That's it?

Afraid so.

Tell you what, though.

I can hold on to it. You know, do a little bit of research.

What do you say, eh, my dear primate? No, no, no. The stone must be returned

us. It's okay, Bonds. The stone is safe with Carrot.

No.

The stone was laid on our path, not yours.

It stays with me.

Sweet pea.

Sweet pea. Why don't you bring your friends to the charity fancy dress

I'm sure they'll fit right in. The fancy dress?

Well, that's a good idea. Well, if you'd like to come.

I look forward to seeing you later on, eh?

Bones, why did you hit him?

No, I did not hit him.

It is the way we greet in Kuhukile.

It means we humble like the springbok, attack like the lion. It is him.

Do you believe me?

It's not possible.

Yes, it happens when the stone is close, but not every time.

Okay, guys, we're here. You can get up now.

I'm so hungry.

Me also.

It feels I have not eaten in a hundred years.

We must find that which I myself can eat.

Oh, listen, I must introduce you to my friends, Bones and Hekule.

Bones?

Zebra! It is not the zebra from Kuvuki land. It is still the zebra.

I can kill it myself.

Make it sleep.

Then I will kill it.

You have to be kidding

me!

They have not learned their lesson.

He is

one of

those bad warriors of the fire sticks in Kuvukiland. Yes, he is one. I'm so

terribly sorry.

He's not from here. Why did this neandertal hit me? Father!

I should have told you this before. The people you see here are only dressed

like other people. They're not real. And that man that you hit is not really a

warrior. Do you understand?

He is one of those warriors from Kuvuke land. I am not crazy. No, he's not. Wait

a minute.

Men dressed like this were in your land?

Yeah, like him. The bad one.

These people are not real.

Nothing is real.

Mr.

Bones, I want you to beat Nancy, our hostess.

Mr. Bones.

Oh, no.

Did you see the tocolosi? Aye.

You are so pale.

You know, I can really find a home for that stone.

The great one did not send me to this place to give the stone to you.

I'm sorry, sir. This is a no -smoking zone.

Sorry?

No -smoking zone.

I'm not smoking zone. I'm smoking tobacco.

No smoking inside the house. But why?

My king, we have found food for you. We have to eat if you want to be strong for

this quest.

No, the great one will punish me. I did not kill it myself.

He will understand.

Please, eat.

That

meat

is already kicking in my stomach.

The little world.

I'm coming.

These people are too clever.

I told you, my king.

The Great One is punishing me. I need the Pupa now. We must find it.

Your pupa is my throat.

The level of meat in my stomach is starting to run.

Must find the pupa.

My king, if I do not find the pupa now, there will be big mawaka gaga. Maybe up

there.

which you have laid upon me. I'll be...

Well, the blind rabbit, he met the blind snake.

Now, the rabbit, he tell the snake, I am blind. Can you tell me what animal I

am? And the snake, he say, I am blind too. Tell me what I am. Now, the

rabbit, he feel the snake. He say, you are slimy.

You have small, big eyes.

You slither.

And you have no balls.

Hello, Professor.

It's Reshmi here.

Reshmi. Yes.

Come on, I'm moving to bed. I'm going to safety bed.

Good.

Can I ask you a big question?

I need to get permission to access the

archive.

For eating the forbidden food. It's okay, Bon.

It's all right.

Are you hungry?

Oh, I am so hungry, I could eat the hoof of the warthog.

I'm sorry, I'm all out of warthog hooves. But would you like some chicken?

Jebel! Thank you, no.

But fruit is good.

How? What is this?

It's an oven. It makes things hot.

Yeah, something like that.

This is not a peach from Kuvuki land.

Bones, this is not a real peach.

Reshmi, nothing in this world of yours is real.

Except you.

I've got to go get something. So please, help yourselves to anything you like,

but not this.

She gives livestock.

You

beautiful.

Yum, yum. Rainbow chicken.

Where's Polly?

Who?

Polly, my parrot.

My pet bird, he lives in there in the cage. It's like a child to me.

When I lifted up the cloth, that is all we saw.

He must have escaped.

Polly! Polly!

Polly!

No,

he's gone outside before, but fortunately he doesn't go too far.

I don't know. He will come back.

Reshmi, he's just resting somewhere.

Don't worry.

Yes. Oh, my goodness.

I hope so.

Me too.

Aiba, what is this?

This is the earth.

But why is it round?

Well, because the earth is round.

My dear Reshmi, she thinks the earth is... Oh, Reshmi, sorry, sorry, but you

if bones...

Okay.

Fine. The earth is flat. All right. Now, this is a picture from above of the

earth. Right? This is the great water.

Would you have been here in Durban?

All right.

of the man who gave him the tomb of the stone, many, many years ago, came from

India all across the water to what is called South Africa, which

is why Durban is sometimes called Little Bombay. Ah, Little Bombay.

Okay. Now, the warriors you saw in Kavuki land came from here to South

fight that war in 1879.

What is this, 1879?

1879 is 130 years before today.

Aye.

So you say we come from before?

Yes. From the past.

I know. I know. I'm struggling to get my head around this.

My head also is inside out.

Molly? Molly!

Molly!

It was me.

I only eat that which I myself have killed.

You tried to cook my bird.

I thought he was livestock.

What? I am very, very sorry, Rashmi. I did not want to harm you. I'm so sorry.

He seems fine.

He's my second one. I love parrots.

That's Neru.

He's dead.

This

is the

bathroom. What is bathroom?

Where you wash your body.

This is the toothpaste and the toothbrush to clean your teeth.

And this...

is the toilet.

Where?

Where you poo -poo and pee -pee.

And when you're done, you flush.

Have a good rest. Good night.

meet a traditional African doctor.

His name is Bones.

Great one, guide my stumbling feet.

All I hear is the beating of my heart and I am blinded,

blinded by this lady. Trust me, I am

alone and lost.

You are not alone.

What do you see?

I see the love bone.

And around it?

It is the bracelet that my old king gave me as a small boy.

Which among his bones is me.

And this?

Is destiny.

Which we call kismet.

You may shiver, but don't run.

Akule, time is running out.

It is the second day of our quest, and I need strength for this day. I must find

food. I am going hunting in the little bomb bay.

I'm a hunter.

I'm a hunter.

I can see you are thoughtful.

I have found she who will play the strings of my heart.

Bones, my friend, think.

If she's to be your love, then what are you to do?

Stay here?

For we are in another time.

Little water bottle is empty.

What a strange river.

What is that? There are crickets in this kayak.

How?

It is bully.

Hello?

Somebody is in this.

Hello?

Hello?

Don't worry, I will try to get you out.

Bones, can you... It knows my name.

It's me, Reshmi.

Bones.

Are you in here?

I'm speaking to you through that thing.

Put it next to your ear.

How are you getting here?

Bones, I can't hear you very well. Just speak into the bit that's in your hand.

Yes, I am.

Okay, good.

Listen, I've got access to the military museum, so I'm coming to fetch you right

now.

Bye -bye.

We are waking.

We are wasting time.

The second sun sets on this day and we have found nothing of the home of the

stone. And still I have not eaten.

Get this.

How much can you get me for it?

Five million US.

Ten million. Six.

Nine. Seven.

When? Tomorrow.

Of course you do.

There you go.

is Bollie.

I just... I don't understand why you had to throw Bollie out into the garbage.

You know, I could have at least had him stuffed, and he could have been standing

there next to Neru.

And now he's just going to be lying at the back of some garbage dump all by

himself. When we left him, there was already two dogs playing with him.

Sorry, my king.

Okay, let's just move on.

Look at that.

I'm sure...

I'm sure this is the little man that Hakule turned into yesterday.

It's him.

Yes.

January 1879.

Indian men joined the British army as cooks. Right?

Kunji Balanathan. Kunji. Enlisted Stanger.

And maybe if we go to the archives there, we can find out where he lived.

My king, we will find it.

of this stone.

The stone is gone. The stone is gone.

Oh, no. Maybe it fell out.

It was not lost.

It was stolen.

Rashmi, do you know this smell?

That's marijuana.

Bones, it's a drug. It makes you different. It changes the way you think.

It was not the meat that I was eating that made me crazy.

No, it was this.

Someone put it in my bag and then stole it, too.

Why? And who?

Carrot. What?

Never. It was him. How can you say that? He's trying to help us.

The first time I saw that carrot, I knew he is bad.

He's my fiancé. I do not care what your fiancé.

I say he is a liar.

Reshmi, let him go.

He is not your kismet. Get out.

No, Reshmi, listen. Get out!

Get out!

I, my king, my bones will lead us to the lying parrot and to the stone.

You!

Great one, guide us to this stone.

Bring Bollie back to Reshman.

And her back to me.

Hussar!

Yebo!

Forward!

Go forward, they say.

Be strong.

We will find what we seek.

Hey, father! Sorry, sorry.

Do you perhaps know this kerrit? Kerrit? Yeah, boy, kerrit.

Oh, yeah, kerrit. Yeah, boy, I know it.

Hop on.

Hop on. Hop on. Let him down.

Okay,

go. Go. Faster than the guitar.

will find his toy animal.

The fruit is good. The great one is still with us.

Wahabu.

It's very bad.

Then sit down for a moment and start drooling at this.

Oh, thank you. Go grab a fish, fresh as if you've caught it yourself, at the

fish -out -of -water restaurant now.

My king, we must listen to this. It is a sign.

Let us go and grab this fish out of the water now. The fish -out -of -water

restaurant. Just two of them through the back door. You bloody bonkers, two

tribesmen. We'll find them. Sweet pea. Sorry I'm late.

Hi, darling.

Oh.

What happened to the, uh... The baboon man. What happened to the baboon man? We

had a fight. I lost my temper.

Oh.

They killed Bollie. No.

Well, I don't think he meant it.

He wouldn't intentionally harm a flea. What?

Yeah, except maybe to pluck it off his friend's head and have it for lunch.

to the Tango Military Archives.

Because I feel I owe it to them.

I know, I know, I will.

All right, bye, darling.

My ball, terrible.

Bollie came back. Bollie!

Thank you, thank you, great one!

Indeed, thank you, great one.

Terrible. No, you keep it. The further from Kool, the better.

You one -eyed backstabber! Hey, kill it!

I was keeping it safe for you, keeping an eye on it, man. You lying bastard.

I want that stone.

You have a gun?

Just as a chili burn your ass.

How's this little baby for you? Sharp.

So, what's the deal?

We're going to Stanga.

Hurry, Reshmi, make speed.

The sun is now there.

I've got it.

Kunji Balanathan enlisted in the British Army as a cook on the 2nd of January,

1879, and deserted two months later.

It was learned... that Balinathan had stolen a precious gemstone from the

fishing village where he lived named Ataram.

The stone was the eye in the statue of their fishing god.

And after it was stolen, very few fish were caught again in Ataram.

This Ataram is the home of the stone.

Yes, and I know where it is.

The Great One will take you with me.

That is not our kismet, Nana.

This was handed down from mother to daughter.

From my great -grandmother to me.

You will see it again.

But now you must go.

Great one, inside the cage of my ribs I am empty.

I pray somehow that once again I may hear the voice

of my resume.

That was really beautiful.

Can you help me?

I am so sorry to disturb.

Reshmi.

My name is Maneshri.

No. I do not know this Reshmi of whom I heard you praying. I am Maneshri.

I come from a fishing village on the ocean. And two months ago, a man from

village stole our holy fishing stone.

His name is Kunji Balnandati.

Yes, but...

How do you know?

Go on.

Well, I have come here to try and find him and to plead with him to please give

back our stone.

This stone has already been returned.

I mean, I know it will be.

I... That around your neck, it is the same one Reshmi wore

that was given to her.

By the mother?

Of the mother?

Of her mother?

You?

I do not know what you are talking about.

Tell me.

Please, one thing.

What is the meaning of Nana?

Nana? It means grandfather.

Or great -grandfather.

So if you are her great...

Grandmother.

And I am... It

means...

But I...

I think maybe you

have a story to tell.

It is a very long story.

I have time.

My darling Reshmi, you will meet a traditional African

doctor.

And I ask you to please help him in his quest.

His name is Bones.

He is my husband, your Nana.

I know you will find your heart as I have found mine.

Your loving great -grandmother, Mineshri.

What, what, what?

Tell us again a story of little Bombay.

Oh, there was this one time.

My king, it is our sacred springbark again.

The great one has led us here.

Sorry,

my pale brother.

Me? I am Monser from Kuvuki land.

I'm Butch from Banana land.

That which you have on you there is a

picture of our secret.

Springbok. Yeah, that's right. I am a springbok.

Yeah, the bokeh.

That's right. You guys, come into the game.

Game? What is this game?

Rugby, bro.

What rock have you guys been living under?

Now he thinks we are the scorpions.

What is this rugby?

Well, we play it with this ball.

It's like the ostrich egg.

Yeah, that's right.

We have to take this ball over the line of the all -black.

They're all black like me.

Well, some of them. But, hey, no quotas, eh?

And these all -black, they try to put the ball over our line.

I tell you what, I've got two tickets here.

Come through this gate here and come watch the game.

Go, Bocca!

Bocca!

So you see, brother, our Boca have got to take the bouncing egg over to that

side. Oh, yeah. And the old black ones to there.

But they are not all black.

Some are yellow, some are white, McGee. Ah!

Boca!

Check, check.

Check, check, check it out.

Check, check, check it out.

my story.

I lived happily ever after with my beloved Menesheri, who

taught me one thing in life.

To eat the little red chili fruits that...