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1
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,719
{\an8}Shall I take your bags
downstairs, love?
2
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,959
Oh, it's just... It's just one bag.
3
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,319
Quite, small. They don't...
4
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,439
I don't...
5
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:31,839
They don't want me to bring much.
6
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,360
No, no, no.
Yes, I read the booklet.
7
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,559
So I can carry it.
8
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,799
I always thought we should have
redecorated this room.
9
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,319
It was on my list, actually.
10
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:42,759
Well, you can now.
11
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:44,719
No, no, no. I meant for you.
I meant,
12
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,759
this room was done up
for a seven-year-old.
13
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,319
You've deers on the wallpaper.
14
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,479
I should've given it a lick of blue
paint over the summer sometime.
15
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:54,119
Made it feel more like
a grown-up's room.
16
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,879
I like it.
17
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,759
My point is,
18
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,120
I think you grew up
and I didn't notice.
19
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,720
Well, Dad,
none of this is to upset you.
20
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,520
I found an answer to something,
that's all.
21
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,559
KNOCK ON DOOR
22
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,040
DAVID: Muriel? Are you there?
23
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,239
KNOCK ON DOOR
Anna?
24
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,480
Er, if, if you're there...
25
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,360
...Ithink we need to talk.
26
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,760
I-I'm just posting my number
through the door.
27
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,560
I'd just like to talk. Talk more.
28
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,080
That's all.
29
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,800
SIREN WAILS
30
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,920
Oh!
31
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,079
No honey sandwiches?
32
00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,239
No, I'm sure I can rustle
something up.
33
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,120
Yeah? Don't.
34
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,560
How you doing?
35
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,360
MACHINE BEEPS STEADILY
36
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,279
Oh, you brought him?
37
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:27,440
Yeah.
38
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,199
You been waiting long, Father?
39
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,959
I'm sorry to keep you,
40
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,999
I'm having a bladder reaction
to the drugs or something
41
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,200
and they were changing my pads.
42
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,799
This a right level
of embarrassing for you?
43
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,719
Yep.
44
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,999
Do you want...?
Would you prefer some private time?
45
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,559
No.
46
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:51,039
She wanted you here.
47
00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,119
Besides, we've had enough of that.
48
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,119
She's bored of me yapping away,
49
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,799
complaining about
this, that, the other.
50
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,159
Are you in pain?
51
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:02,759
Oh, yeah.
52
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,879
And it's on my notes
that I'm an addict
53
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,400
so they're being very cheap
with the painkillers.
54
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:15,200
Er, Tina wanted me to come
and ask what you wanted to do next.
55
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,839
Oh, I'd like to go home
56
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,800
and live my life,
thank you very much.
57
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:28,599
I suppose I am concerned that,
with Tina's baby on the way...
58
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,919
What, I'll let him back in
and he'll mess up that kid, too?
59
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,440
You're still charming.
60
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,760
Tina wants help.
61
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,359
I just...
62
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,560
I want things to be different now.
63
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,520
So you went to a priest?
64
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,639
I'm not a priest. Not here.
65
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,639
Just someone who cares.
66
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:59,079
We all care, Father.
67
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,920
Some more than we should.
68
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:20,999
I am through with vetting families
for schools.
69
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,799
Little Algernon
is a firm Catholic.
70
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,679
We can't attend, of course,
we dry ski on Sundays,
71
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,279
but he prays daily
72
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,079
and we bought him some
of your holy beads from Amazon.
73
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,599
Show him, Algy, show him.
74
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,519
I'm sure his name isn't Algernon.
75
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:38,280
No. He's called Biscuit
or some such nonsense.
76
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:41,560
Sermon?
77
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,560
Oh, it's my sister's
marriage blessing.
78
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:48,719
I didn't see it in the diary.
79
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,440
Second marriage. Ah.
80
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:54,680
First one was...
Bloke was an arsehole.
81
00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:00,119
It's a registry office wedding
and then a blessing in the garden.
82
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,959
Then praise be
she's getting on the horse again.
83
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,959
What? The Church isn't right
about everything,
84
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,719
and I like your sister.
85
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,159
HE CHUCKLES
86
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:14,719
And I like people getting on horses.
87
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,199
I'm extending an awkward metaphor.
88
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,320
I'm checking you're getting
the help you need.
89
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,759
I'm getting the help I need.
90
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,559
A lot of which
is coming from my sister.
91
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:29,760
Well, that's good.
92
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:36,479
I was concerned, etc.
93
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,479
I won't interfere, etc.
94
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,840
Consider me spent.
95
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,680
Thank you.
96
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:50,919
Now, we've had a strange request
I didn't know whether to pass on.
97
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:55,039
The chaplain at HMP Avonmouth
has requested a visit.
98
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,519
What? Why? Why would...?
99
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,719
A parishioner has requested you.
100
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,040
Tina's father.
101
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,079
I don't think you should.
102
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,920
I'm not even sure
Tina would like you going.
103
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,600
But... your decision.
104
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,800
CHOIR SING HYMN TO ST CELIA
105
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,320
Oh.
106
00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:59,719
I...I wasn't sure whether to...
107
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,519
Knocked for you like four or five
times at Muriel's.
108
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,599
You haven't been home.
109
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,759
Well, that is impressive of you.
110
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,639
I've rung. Repeatedly.
111
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,479
You've done a lot.
112
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,319
Very thorough.
113
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,720
It's, beginning to sound like
harassment.
114
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,079
I, um...
115
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,520
I wanted to talk to you.
116
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,200
I'm aware.
117
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:33,359
I just wanted to say that
I stand by everything I've said.
118
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,439
I've... I've thought about it and,
119
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,400
this doesn't often happen to me,
but...
120
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,520
...I think I was right.
121
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,679
I think you and I should accept that
122
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:48,519
what happened between us
was meaningful,
123
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,399
but not in the way,
124
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,839
well not... not the way that
I thought it to be meaningful.
125
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,159
Can I speak now?
126
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,400
No.
127
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,600
Yes. If you want to.
128
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:06,959
You are...
129
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,239
But you're... you're not allowed
to compliment me.
130
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:13,039
Can you...? Just if, for instance,
you were going to say
131
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,719
that I was formidable or fantastic,
132
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,799
or even just interesting,
133
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,359
or anything about how I look
or how I am,
134
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,679
then that,
that wouldn't be OK to say.
135
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,520
Why not?
136
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,719
Look, can we just start
from the beginning? I mean...
137
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,679
Look, the beginning
and the end
138
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,919
is that I changed my life for you.
139
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,399
And you are not responsible
for that.
140
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,879
I really... I really hope
I've made it clear
141
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,559
that you are not responsible
for that.
142
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,039
It's...
143
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,399
It's just the truth.
144
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:51,679
I fi... I've found all of this
very confusing.
145
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,239
I apologise.
146
00:09:53,240 --> 00:10:00,279
I also hope I've made it clear
that it was all me and
147
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,399
I...I do apologise
for your confusion.
148
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,599
But it wasn't all you.
149
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,119
You're not allowed
to say that either.
150
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,760
Anna, what am I allowed to say?
151
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,239
Have you been praying?
152
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,559
About you?
153
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:18,319
God, no... No, not about me.
154
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,359
I just mean have you...
155
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,519
Have you been praying generally?
156
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:29,239
I feel like I've been the cause
of some spiritual undoing
157
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,879
and I just...
158
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,719
I just wanted to make sure that
you've been...
159
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,239
You've been praying again.
160
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,039
Yeah, I've been praying.
161
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,479
Have you?
162
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:41,480
Yes.
163
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:47,279
I've also been going more regularly
to Alcoholics Anonymous.
164
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:52,000
It's not something I want advertised
but something you probably guessed.
165
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,759
Yeah, I did...
166
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:01,080
...sense that. And that's helpful?
167
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,040
Think so. My sister's...
168
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,120
Good people around me.
169
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,799
You're not to feel responsible.
170
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,079
You shouldn't apologise.
I should.
171
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,799
I'm sorry.
172
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:25,119
I behaved towards you like...
173
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:28,519
I felt...
You-you made me feel things.
174
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,040
I need you to know that.
175
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,240
You made me feel things.
176
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,919
Now I...I'm trying
to set myself right.
177
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,479
I'm determined to be a good priest.
178
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,880
Or at least the best priest
I'm capable of being.
179
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,599
My confusion was never you.
180
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,240
It was...
181
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,039
You brought to light...
182
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,440
Well, you've done a bit more
than bring to light.
183
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:11,599
At AA, we try to explain
not who we are but why we are,
184
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:17,840
and I think you saw the who
but not the why.
185
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:22,559
I think my understanding
of what I should be has been...
186
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:25,320
I think I've been trying
to help people in the wrong way.
187
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,199
And which way is that?
188
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,359
Saving people.
189
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,760
It's an addiction like any other.
190
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:10,040
Wonderful's the word
I would've used to describe you.
191
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,120
See you again.
192
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,400
Not if I see you first.
193
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,840
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
194
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,999
MURIEL: Is that you?
195
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,679
Oh, of course it's you,
196
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,479
I'm due on shift.
197
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,519
Oh, I've cooked.
198
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,519
A disgusting idea, I know.
199
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,759
But on the off chance
you're not repulsed,
200
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,799
there's half a shepherd's pie
in the oven.
201
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,839
You look like you're coming down
with a cold.
202
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,439
No. No, I'm fine.
203
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,959
You sure?
204
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,319
What time are you back?
205
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:33,640
Shift ends 5am.
Very lucky, I know. Come here.
206
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,040
Eat the pie.
207
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,200
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
208
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:48,920
TV PLAYS
209
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,280
LOUD MUSIC AND INDISTINCT CHATTER
210
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,319
Hi, can I have a glass
of red wine, please?
211
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,759
We've got a list if you want to...
212
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,199
Oh, just the... Just the cheapest.
213
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,200
Coming right up.
214
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,600
SHE EXHALES
215
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,000
It's OK.
216
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,800
Hi. Hi.
217
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:47,439
You waiting for someone?
Er, no, no. I...
218
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,399
I just couldn't stay in the house
any longer.
219
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,839
Huh. How come?
220
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,959
Er...
221
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,799
Irritated by the sound
of my own thoughts.
222
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,639
I know that feeling.
223
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,079
Tony.
224
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,240
Anna. Hi. Hi.
225
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,119
Who... who are you with?
226
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,039
Uh, my brother and his wife.
227
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,519
Yeah, they came here to get away
from their kids
228
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,879
and they just want to talk about
their kids.
229
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,919
THEY CHUCKLE
230
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,639
You got children?
231
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,359
No. No. You?
232
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:29,599
Uh, yeah, yeah, one. Ben. He's 11.
233
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:33,959
His mum and I are divorced.
It's... it's tricky.
234
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,760
Yeah. I can imagine.
235
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,399
What do you do, Anna?
236
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:45,400
Uh, I'm a... cook.
237
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,280
Uh, a cafe cook.
238
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,159
Which cafe?
239
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,679
Well, really I just,
I...I make cakes and bakes
240
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,679
and sell them to different cafes.
241
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,959
You know, just a home kitchen.
Nothing big.
242
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,199
Mm.
243
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,639
Keeps me going.
244
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:06,919
Well, I may have eaten
a sausage roll of yours in my time.
245
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,040
Spicy lamb rolls are my speciality.
246
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,159
Wh-what do you do?
247
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,960
Uh, solicitor.
I work for Bristol City Council.
248
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,599
Oh, listen,
I'm not very good at getting served
249
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,840
but can I buy you a drink, Anna?
250
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,919
Er, one more and I'll be drunk.
251
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,280
Oh.
252
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,799
Uh, I'm, um, to be honest, I...
253
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:49,559
I'm a bit bored of this place.
254
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,920
Have you...
Have you got somewhere we could go?
255
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,480
Er, sure.
256
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,280
Huh.
257
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,079
You OK?
258
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,999
Can I just say,
you're in great shape?
259
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,800
Better shape than me.
260
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:09,800
SHE BREATHES SHAKILY
261
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,959
Are you OK? Am I...?
Am I going too fast?
262
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,119
No.
263
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,239
S, s, s, s, I'm sorry...
264
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,040
I mean, this was your idea,
wasn't it?
265
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,359
No, it's, um...
No, it's not... It's not you.
266
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:31,039
Listen, I'm... I'm sorry if I...
267
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:34,999
No, I'm, um... It's-it's not you.
I'm-I'm sorry.
268
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,559
Well, it's, it's, it's OK.
I like you.
269
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,879
I... I... Should I...?
We...
270
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,359
I can make a cup of tea?
271
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,759
With some biscuits.
272
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,439
Maybe we can,
we can, we can talk about it?
273
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,240
I'm, um... I'm...
274
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,999
I can't. What you going?
275
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,719
Can I call you?
276
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,319
No...
277
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,520
No.
278
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:02,399
Anna?
279
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,919
You've-you've done nothing
wrong. This is...
280
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,880
It's... It's my-my mistake.
Please, please don't.
281
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,200
I don't want this...
I'm not ready.
282
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,560
PRISON GATE BUZZES
283
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:25,799
Father Hicks?
284
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,599
Father Bennet.
285
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,079
Call me William.
286
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,240
David.
287
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,199
OK, so you'll be meeting him
in the multi faith room.
288
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,879
It's up to you if you want someone
in the room with you.
289
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,239
I'll be OK.
290
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,040
I think he genuinely wants counsel.
291
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,760
DOOR BUZZES
292
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,799
Guard staying out?
293
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,040
You asked for me.
294
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:14,959
Yes.
295
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,999
I was surprised.
296
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,200
Yeah.
297
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,399
Am I here as a priest?
298
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,600
Or as a man?
299
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,280
As a priest.
300
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,120
What do you want from me?
301
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,000
I, um...
302
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:48,960
Uh, they told me she's gonna be OK.
303
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:56,159
I asked if I could call her
but they... they said no.
304
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:57,559
You thought they might allow it?
305
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,279
I didn't know. That's why I asked.
306
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,680
Why do you wanna speak to her?
Because I love her.
307
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,480
I wanted to hear her voice.
Hear she was...
308
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,000
Hear she wasn't in too much pain.
309
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,920
What, pain that you caused?
310
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:21,480
Yeah, I know, I know.
311
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:27,880
Have you...?
312
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:31,960
Will you visit her?
313
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:34,840
I have.
314
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,160
And is she...?
She's in pretty bad shape.
315
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:44,880
I don't know...
316
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:54,960
I don't know how to stop.
317
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,559
If she gives evidence against me
they'll give me two years, maybe,
318
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:08,199
and I'll be released on condition
that I stay away from her.
319
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,959
But... but she'll find me.
Because that's her way.
320
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,599
And... and then
I'll just do it again.
321
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,479
You've assumed a lot of things
in that statement.
322
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,440
Or she won't and I'll find
someone else.
323
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:23,479
I can smell it on 'em.
324
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:24,920
The woman.
325
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:31,799
The women who won't say no.
The women that'll take it.
326
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,799
I-I know who they are.
Sounds like...
327
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,279
Oh, what, you think there
weren't others before her?
328
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,000
Others during her?
329
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,999
Yeah, it doesn't take a lot for me
to get women.
330
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,599
These hands have broken three jaws.
331
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:46,999
I've stamped on hands.
332
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,479
I've shattered legs, pelvises,
eye sockets.
333
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,279
One girl I almost ripped her ear
clean off.
334
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:52,599
What can you say to that?
335
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,040
You sound almost proud.
336
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:59,360
My mum, she walked with a... a hunch.
337
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,599
Walking round the house
with a bunch of washing
338
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,119
in a cheap plastic basket,
339
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:09,920
and this saggy face and this
hunch...
340
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,079
...like she was always waiting
for the gut punch.
341
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,239
Why did you want me to hear that?
342
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:18,760
What's the question?
343
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,360
I'm thinking I need to kill myself.
344
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,959
And I know that that is a sin,
345
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,160
but I'm thinking
it's all that I've got.
346
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,280
It is the only way to stop me.
347
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,000
And I'm asking for your guidance
on that.
348
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,600
OK.
349
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,919
I think that you need help.
350
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,279
Tried it. It didn't work.
351
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,200
I think you need to try again.
352
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,559
Father Bennet told me of
a counselling service here.
353
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,639
No. No.
I just want to hurt them too.
354
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,759
They think they're
so fucking clever. They never are.
355
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:33,959
I am actually clever.
356
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,880
I can see how fucking thick they are
and I won't have it.
357
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:39,839
Do you think I'm clever?
358
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,760
You? You're not as clever
as you think.
359
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:45,680
You are weak.
360
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:53,960
I can smell the booze on you now.
361
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,679
No.
362
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:57,840
Fine.
363
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,360
But I've smelt the booze on you
before.
364
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,799
And I know you go to those meetings.
365
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,719
I've got friends in those meetings
and they know you're weak too.
366
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:10,279
Why... why's it matter what I think?
367
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:11,840
Because I have said this.
368
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,439
You are my priest.
369
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,640
I've never much felt like
your priest.
370
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,439
You can talk to any priest.
371
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,599
Maybe someone with some distance.
Father Bennet.
372
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,719
I don't know them.
They could be kiddy fiddlers,
373
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:29,919
or worse still,
374
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,639
the pious fuckers who think that
everything is easy.
375
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,080
You're weak...
376
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:39,840
...but you're a good man.
377
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,599
I've seen you and I know
you're good.
378
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,520
And you have been good
to my daughter.
379
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:49,000
I trust your judgment.
380
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:54,759
I don't want this last act
to be a sin.
381
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,119
I want it to be an act of penance.
382
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,759
And God is not talking
to me right now,
383
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,239
so I need to know from you,
I need to know that...
384
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:02,880
I need to be sure that this is...
385
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,040
That penance is right.
386
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:21,520
Good.
387
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,600
Good, yeah, you're thinking.
388
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,160
Well, there it is.
I know I've said all I want to say.
389
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,240
I'll trust your word.
390
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,359
Yes or no?
391
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,639
First foster home I went to was fine
392
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,039
but they were only doing
emergency care.
393
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,080
The second was OK
but we didn't get on.
394
00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,679
Third foster family I went to,
I was five.
395
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:02,840
I lived there for two years
till I was seven.
396
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,920
The oldest kid there was 14.
397
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:14,039
I won't give him his name
because he doesn't deserve it.
398
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,239
To be honest, I don't need to hear
the personal stuff.
399
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:20,160
He thought I made too much noise.
He liked to pinch me.
400
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,919
Just little hard pinches
that no-one saw.
401
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:30,079
And I-I was a pretty scared child
and I let him.
402
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,959
And then it escalated a little.
403
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,159
He'd punch me.
404
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,400
Little rabbit punches
he'd call them.
405
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,760
He'd push me off things, and he'd...
406
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,200
...do everything he could,
little things, to...
407
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:50,439
He enjoyed my pain.
408
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,319
I am not finding this interesting.
I just want an answer.
409
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,599
I didn't want to talk
to my support worker about it,
410
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,439
because I thought it was this
or an institution,
411
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,919
and I had my own room
with this family
412
00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:01,919
and I really enjoyed the food,
413
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:05,999
and I had a couple of friends
at school that I liked to play with.
414
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,479
And then my...
415
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,000
The people who became my parents
started to visit.
416
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,479
And they were really special.
417
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,599
Everyone could see.
418
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:21,639
They smelt good. They were Catholic.
419
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,439
Everyone knew that religious
adopters were the best kind.
420
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,559
Third time they visited,
421
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:32,439
he followed me into the toilet
422
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,759
and he slammed my head
into the bowl and he held it,
423
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,839
he tried to hold it into the water,
424
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,999
he tried to drown me
in the toilet water,
425
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,479
but there wasn't enough water
in the bottom of the bowl
426
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,759
and so he pushed his hands
around my head
427
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,239
and I was bleeding.
428
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:49,720
He strangled me.
429
00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:01,560
He strangled me
so hard I lost consciousness.
430
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:05,959
I...
431
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,480
I don't know how.
432
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:11,800
I don't who saved me.
433
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,439
I was taken away from that
foster family immediately,
434
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,079
taken, actually taken in to...
435
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,480
By the Catholics who adopted me.
436
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:28,879
My point is...
437
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:30,519
Actually, I have two points.
438
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,800
My first is - I understand pain.
439
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:38,040
I understand people
who want to inflict pain.
440
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:44,760
My second point is,
that boy, me...
441
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:51,639
...I had no-one to talk to.
442
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:52,920
No-one.
443
00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:57,519
And I...I've thought since then,
444
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:01,719
I resolved I would never let anyone
be alone like that,
445
00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:02,880
like I was, again.
446
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,319
But...
447
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,800
But I think you do need to be alone,
Phil.
448
00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:15,359
Penance is about change.
449
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:17,000
It's not about ends.
450
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:21,599
If you commit the same sin,
451
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:22,999
you can't just clean it off
452
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,039
and you can't think one act
cleans the slate. It doesn't.
453
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,399
God doesn't work like that.
454
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,519
God loves but God also expects.
And what does he expect?
455
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:32,880
He expects love.
456
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,960
He expects love.
457
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,279
For yourself and for others.
458
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,280
And he expects you
to be the best love.
459
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,239
John 4:8.
460
00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:51,559
"Dear friends, let us love one
another, for love comes from God.
461
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,760
"Everyone who loves has been born
of God and knows God."
462
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,799
So, no. No. I will not
sit in judgment on your act.
463
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,759
It's a sin how you've lived
and if you kill yourself,
464
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:12,360
it'll be a sin how you die.
465
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:15,880
But I will say this.
466
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,160
Yeah, you're right. I am weak.
467
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,239
But you are weaker
468
00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:27,600
if you think you truly
have no way of helping yourself.
469
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:35,479
And I will be... I...
I will do everything I can
470
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:37,119
to help Bianca see this through
471
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:42,080
so you stay in here
for a very long time.
472
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,760
DOORBELL RINGS
473
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,759
Hi.
474
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,519
Hello.
475
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,160
This is a surprise.
476
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,639
I, uh, thought about calling,
477
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,079
but I didn't want to catch
you unawares.
478
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:45,079
Well, you caught me unawares
on your last visit so...
479
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:46,599
...fair's fair.
480
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,320
And you're cooking?
481
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,079
The James family invited us over.
482
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,039
I thought I'd make my apple cake.
483
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,720
Chris? Chris!
484
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,200
Well, don't let me stop you.
485
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,519
Do you want to help?
486
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:10,039
Yeah. Of course.
487
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:11,680
Hmm.
488
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:21,279
Hello.
489
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,359
She's helping me now.
You can go back to your room.
490
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:26,599
Nice to see you.
491
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,559
And you, Dad. Are you well?
492
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,040
We're cooking.
493
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:46,839
That was an odd thing to do,
wasn't it? Forgot I had some out.
494
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,999
Sure.
495
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,959
You de-core and slice.
496
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:52,999
I'll keep working on
the rest of it.
497
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,360
OK.
498
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:02,559
Er, I've been making
a yoghurt and apple cake, actually.
499
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,360
We had a farmer who would swap...
500
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,279
Ah. Doesn't matter.
501
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,759
THUD!
502
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,719
I hate it when you do that.
503
00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:18,680
When you're superior like that.
"It doesn't matter."
504
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,520
Like you are the arbiter of...
505
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:26,359
I, um...
506
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:30,599
I'm just...
I'm just here to see you, Mum.
507
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,040
I just want to help you make a cake.
508
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:42,080
I like thin slices.
509
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,240
Feels like they melt into the cake
when they're thin.
510
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:01,720
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
511
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,600
I need a lift, Dad.
512
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,560
OK. Where to?
513
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,639
Hello, Father.
514
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,679
Hello. Um...
515
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,359
I just wondered if Anna...
516
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:53,319
Whether I could talk to Anna.
517
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:56,519
Um... No, I'm afraid you can't.
518
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,239
Look, I-I know I've made mistakes.
519
00:40:58,240 --> 00:41:00,759
I-I just want to explain
520
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:03,479
or try to set things right,
521
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:04,879
just talk to her.
522
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,879
She's gone back.
523
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,120
Back where?
524
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:18,439
She...
525
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:19,920
She left me a letter.
526
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,000
Probably thought I'd
try and convince her different.
527
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,760
Do you... Do you want to come in?
She's made a mistake.
528
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,359
I think you've thought that
a few times.
529
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:39,720
She has.
530
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,880
She took her skin off for you.
531
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:52,040
Maybe she just wants to
put it on again.
532
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,760
Feel safe again.
533
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:02,760
Yeah.
534
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,440
HE SIGHS
535
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:13,800
Anna?
536
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,119
Oh, it is you.
537
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,759
And looking so healthy.
538
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,159
Look at that lovely hair.
539
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:28,400
Hello, Polly. Hello, Agnes.
540
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,519
I didn't think I'd see you again.
541
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:34,840
You have light all through you.
542
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:54,600
Hello.
543
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:58,119
I...
544
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:01,239
Are you in-in the middle
of something or shall I...?
545
00:43:01,240 --> 00:43:02,600
Stay. Please.
546
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,079
Please don't make this humiliating.
547
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,679
I wasn't intending to.
548
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:14,000
But may I ask why?
549
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:17,679
This is my home.
550
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,880
No. It is a home of God.
551
00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:28,399
Did he reject you?
552
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:29,680
No.
553
00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:33,479
Are you going
to change your mind again?
554
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:34,679
No.
555
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:39,639
Sorry to ask,
I hope you know why I have.
556
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:41,960
Is there still a place for me?
557
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,360
Of course there is.
558
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,039
I can do good work here.
559
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:51,520
You always did.
560
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:56,240
I, uh, I have my habit.
561
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:02,560
If you want to,
you may put it back on.
562
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,159
You are loved here
563
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,840
and we are pleased
you have found your way back.
564
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:16,800
I love you, too.
565
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:24,159
And I will try not to expect you
to be the same person now
566
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,440
as you were when you left us.
567
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,600
Though you do seem to be
just as irritating.
568
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:35,199
In the name of the Father
569
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:37,559
and of the Son
and of the Holy Spirit.
570
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,679
The Lord be with you.
571
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,520
CONGREGATION: And with your spirit.
572
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:48,159
Lord, we have sinned against you.
573
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,159
Lord have mercy.
574
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:53,399
CONGREGATION: Lord have mercy.
575
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:57,639
Lord, hear our prayer
to fill us as you filled your Son
576
00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:00,320
with love to fight the world.
577
00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:04,559
Help us...
578
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,040
...to...
579
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,759
Help...
580
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,160
Help-help-help us to...
581
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:14,479
Amen.
582
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:15,920
CONGREGATION: Amen.
583
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:20,239
Show us.
584
00:45:20,240 --> 00:45:22,639
Show us your mercy
585
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,679
and your love.
586
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,160
CONGREGATION:
And grant us your salvation.
587
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,119
May Almighty God have mercy on us,
588
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,959
forgive our sins
589
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:39,679
and bring us to everlasting life.
590
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:40,719
Amen.
591
00:45:40,720 --> 00:45:42,119
CONGREGATION: Amen.
592
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:43,520
Amen.
593
00:45:43,570 --> 00:45:48,120
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