Original subtitles

This programme contains strong language and some scenes of violence

Almost got me.

Argh!

RADIO: Good morning. It's just gone 8:00.

Oh, hello.

They didn't say that you were, er...

Oh, yeah, it's all right...

...not on my forms.

Catholic?

Yeah.

Got to say, haven't been to confession

in close to ten years now.

Sadly, you're eternally damned.

Unless you fix my car... That is.

Anna.

Sister Anna, we've a visitor needs feeding.

I'd like to bring a few girls from my choir for a visit.

How old are they?

14 to 17...

...mostly still in education.

Devoted?

Some are finding their path.

Any dependents?

I'm sorry?

Sister, good.

Father Hicks has travelled a long way.

Uh, only an hour and a half.

I was late because my car decided to explode

when I was halfway here.

Oh, how dramatic.

Yeah, I had to burst something.

Which means a longer bus ride home.

You need to eat.

No, it's not a problem, I can just get a snack

from the shop on the way.

Sister Anna can do better than a Scotch egg from a newsagent.

She sets the bar so high.

Since she took over the kitchen, all of us have put on weight.

Something simple?

Uh, yeah, yeah, thank you,

But don't put yourself out.

Scrambled eggs, some bread?

If you're sure? Thank you.

That's two thank yous, which is one too many.

Good. Yes, no dependents.

If the girls have children... Even for a visit?

The visit is to see whether they might fit, no?

We are not here to be watched.

We are here to be joined.

No-one with children.

Or romantic entanglements.

Do you want me to give them a quiz?

Is that too hard a question to answer?

Um...

Then let us agree a date.

I'll fetch our diary.

You're new to the kitchen?

Uh, no, it's been 11 years...

Oh. I think?

Time passes slowly here.

Been outside?

Ah, yes, yes.

Bulbing for the new season.

What are you growing?

Children...

Tiny, tiny little children in the middle

of the flowers which we pluck in May.

We dry them through the summer, and then we eat them in September.

Uh, kale, lettuce, spinach,

garlic... My cabbages are legendary.

I don't like cabbage.

Well, then I judge you for that.

11 years?

It's a good long while.

It's been over 20 since I took my vows.

And you?

Where are you?

Uh, Bristol, Easton.

What do you grow in Easton?

Um, currently expending a lot

of energy trying to get needle exchange opened.

Oh, uh, a basketball hoop in the local park.

They sound like good things to be doing.

Frustrating.

And I'm trying to convince people

to run a harvest festival out of the church.

I can't know whether the girls are in relationships.

It would be inappropriate to ask.

And I can't be involved in any duplicity

against the abbess.

You'll find a way. I fail to see how.

You should have talked to her about this.

I'm sorry if I'm being... It's the rules she set.

It's my job to protect all of them.

It'll mean we can't come.

Well, then don't come.

Ow! Cold water.

You weren't caught too badly.

Sorry.

No, no, I, uh...

I should say thank you.

I'm sorry if I, um...

...if that was the wrong thing to do.

Sorry.

No...

...thank you.

And that's, uh...

That's two thank yous, which is one too many.

Uh, no, let me do that.

No, no, no. You should sit down...

No, no, please.

Just tell me where...

This looks beautiful.

Just some eggs.

Uh, bless us, O Lord...

And these your gifts... For these your gifts,

which we are about to receive from your bounty.

And from the gracious work of your servant, Sister Anna.

Through Christ our Lord, Amen. Amen.

I don't like the word servant.

I don't like it either.

FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING

There's been an accident.

Morning, sister.

May the Lord bless this day.

Yes.

And if he could arrange for it not to rain

so the polytunnel doesn't get swamped again,

I'd really appreciate it.

PHONE RINGS

Molly, tell mum Uncle David's in the bathroom.

Am I not allowed?

Mum put in a rota.

I didn't see a rota.

Jesus. Died for your sins.

VOICES CHATTERING

It's not hard to just switch it off.

I can't even hear what she's saying.

No. I asked you.

It's not hard to just switch it off.

Hi. These are lovely.

You are lovely, Graham.

These are vegetables.

Morning. Morning.

They've put up the price of dahlias again!

Bastards think we're a soft touch.

Nice try.

Oh, you know, I don't like hosts.

Father Christie agreed with me...

...there's considerably more oral thrush around

than there used to be.

Do you think it's OK for the Abbess for the trip

to ask that I only bring girls who aren't in relationships?

Yes.

You do?

Felt small minded to me.

I am small minded both by profession and inclination.

How's your mother?

Smiling on. Ah.

Tina's back.

Is she?

She's with her dad.

In the name of the father and of the son

and of the Holy Spirit.

ALL: Amen.

The Lord be with you.

ALL: And with your spirit.

Lord, we have sinned against you.

Lord have mercy.

ALL: Lord have mercy.

Show us your mercy and your love.

ALL: And grant us your salvation.

May Almighty God have mercy on us.

Forgive us our sins,

and bring us into everlasting life.

ALL: Amen.

Amen. Amen.

Shall we start with a hymn?

Bless me, Father, because I have sinned.

It's been 24 hours since my last confession.

I remember.

During which I have committed three acts

of blasphemy and two of self-abasement.

I mean masturbation, Father.

Of course you do.

I don't mean to hurt...

...people...

...but I do.

I think you've been very hard on yourself.

I am vile.

You're not.

You're not.

KNOCKING

Are you going to invite me in, or are you going to

leave a lady on the doorstep?

Oh, you're a daft one.

Do you wish to say anything?

No.

Do you need absolution?

Yes.

CAR HORN TOOTS

How was it?

Well, half the kids look as if they've got malnutrition

and half the adults jaundice, The rest just seem depressed.

We'll pray for them and help as best we can.

Has the school group arrived?

Yeah. Important, I'm told by the prioress for them to see us.

For the recruitment push.

Does make one feel one is in a zoo, rather.

Time for a whisky?

I got sent a rather fine malt by the bishop.

Might chase away some of the feelings of the day.

He shouldn't encourage you.

It's because he wants you to make him some whisky marmalade.

Well, I can try.

I told him you're not a takeaway, he'll take what he's given.

Bless me, father, for I have sinned.

It's been three weeks since my last confession.

How have you been?

I'm OK.

You know, I'm supposed to pretend I never know

who's on the other side of this?

I took a trip to the convent, The Womack.

Going to take some members of the girls choir.

And I'd like to ask your mum

if you'd like to join it, the trip?

Thanks.

It that what you want?

With...

...yeah,

Yeah. Hmm.

Then, uh, maybe I'll come around the house,

talk to her?.

He's out most evenings...

...at the restaurant.

DOGS BARKING

DOORBELL RINGS

Hi, Bianca, it's Father Hicks.

Um, I'd hope to talk to you about Tina.

She said tonight might be a goodnight to come over.

TV: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to...

Thank you.

TV: So, audience, are you ready?

Tina?

Well, go on, what you got?

Do you need help?

There are things I can do to...

You can leave if you're going to be trying that.

Tina?

Coming!

Um...

How would you feel about Tina making the decision

to lead a consecrated life?

I think she's a kid who doesn't know which way is up.

Did you grow up Catholic, Bianca?

Why is he asking all the questions to me?

You're the adult.

He wants to check you're OK.

It's her who wants to hide in a convent for her life.

Uh, I don't think it's hiding.

But I do understand why, commitment...

...faith feels a strange thing in this world.

The amount of people that ask me things like,

"Do you have to wear it all the time?"

"Do you never have sex?"

He's trying to shock us now.

Priest talking about sex!

And I do think celibacy is an important part of Tina's

commitment, but it's not the most important part.

Marx is always quoted as saying,

"Religion is the opium of the masses."

What he actually said was, "Religion is the sigh

"of the oppressed creature,

"the heart of a heartless world, and the soul

"of soulless conditions."

"It is the opium of the people."

I don't go to church, can't stand the dither of it all.

Dither?

Well, it seems to me the Bible says do good, then we'll do it.

Stop dithering about with incense and myrrh.

Mum!

I think you're right about the dither.

But I think what Marx was saying is that the church,

by venerating virtue, does something quite important.

And I think right now...

...society needs that virtue.

Look, she said she wanted it, she goes.

Good.

Then I'd like to take you, Tina,

with a few other girls to visit Womack.

I think that by visiting there,

she'll get much better sense of whether that's what she needs.

Thank you.

Um...

...should I talk to Phil? No!

Well, if that's everything, Father Hicks?

DOOR CLOSES

SOBBING AND WAILING

Sister, it's your postulant, she was found with a phone.

A phone? She's been keeping it hidden.

SOBBING

It's not easy...

...when we lose track of ourselves to find our way back.

Can I ask...

...why did you feel you needed your phone?

Well, I don't know.

My parents were horrified...

...when I said I wanted to be a nun.

My mum said I was throwing myself away.

She thought it was over some boy.

Was... Was there a boy?

No.

You?

Not a boy.

My friend, Susie.

Is that OK?

With me?

Yes.

With God?

I would hope so.

With you?

Do you want to stay?

Do you...

...want me to stay?

Oh, Bimpe...

...if there is one choice...

...that has to be yours, it is this.

Do you ever doubt it?

Your... Your choice?

Faith is dependent on doubt.

Without doubt, there is no faith.

GASPS

KNOCKING

She seems much better this morning.

Good.

So I've prayed upon it

and decided I have no choice but to ask her to leave.

No, You can't.

When someone is a postulant...

She's been with us for over a year.

When someone is a postulant,

they are here to be judged by us and by themselves

as to whether they can find the patience and love to belong.

It's one mistake.

A crucial one.

I devote myself to God in every way.

I isolate myself and give myself to prayer.

But I do want to keep checking social media

for what my friends are up to.

May I speak?

I have been guiding her and I don't think you understand.

She is a genuine, kind, good...

My role in this convent is to make the decisions others won't.

It's to lead.

Your role is not to abandon the poor girl.

Francesca, please... No, no, you do not use that name...

...my name in anger!

It is not a weapon.

Look...

...I apologise, Abbess.

Our commitment cannot be predicated on a lie.

She vowed to put away everything from her other life.

She couldn't, she lied...

to her sisters and to God.

She made a vow and she broke it.

She was weak, yes.

But these young people,

they are growing up in an unforgiving world.

Perhaps our commitment might take them a little

bit longer to learn.

Please!

Please give her a chance to find her path.

She remains a postulant for at least another year.

She has to prove herself all over again, yes?

Yes, thank you.

She's lucky to have you.

OK.

There will be a time when I am ready to take quieter duties here.

I believe you're the right person to succeed me.

But if you do, you may discover

that these decisions are harder than they might appear.

Missed a wonderful deanery meeting last night.

Falling congregations since Covid.

How to get people back believing.

Anyone suggest another Covid?

Make him beg for the incoming flood?

Don't forget the accounts need your sign off.

The bishop needs to know precisely what

we've got to set terms for the underfloor heating brigade.

Could you run this morning for me? Sorry?

I realised I've got some pressing business.

Could you lead Mass for me?

Bless me, father, for I have sinned.

It's been four days since my last confession.

I've been angry with others, impatient.

I shouted at the Abess, I...

...I was cruel to Sister Justine when...

...when she needed support.

And I have been having...

...immoral thoughts.

Lust.

You have to say something to that, Father Clarey.

You can't leave me on my own with that one.

Go on.

Go on?

Go on!

What does that mean?

It means go on.

But I'm... They're not...

It's not like I haven't had thoughts before.

I have struggled at times with...

...feelings of desire.

But this time, well, these times...

...these feelings, they're...

They're so specific.

Well, that's all I can say, really.

I am ashamed...

...and I'm confused.

Confused mainly.

Three Hail Marys.

Yes, Father.

And be careful.

God, the father of mercies,

through the death and resurrection of his son,

has reconciled the will to himself and sent the Holy Spirit

for the forgiveness of our sins.

Through the ministry of the church

may God give you pardon and peace,

and I absolve you from your sins.

In the name of the father and of the son and the Holy Spirit.

Amen. Amen.

Hello.

Ah, this is a surprise.

I just thought I'd, um, I'd come back to talk to the Abbess.

I felt like I'd left a few of her concerns on the table.

Right.

And I was hoping for more beautiful eggs, of course.

I knew you were the pushy sort.

May I see your cabbages?

Only if you get me really drunk.

Are you that nervous of the abbess

that you'd look around a boring garden to avoid it?

Boring garden? Doubt it's that?

No.

But why are you here?

Uh, can I tell you about a girl I'd like to bring here?

You can tell me about anything you like,

but I am no use with the Abbess.

Um...

Uh, mother, uh, the girl's mother is being...

...hit by the father.

I think it's possible the girl's been hit, too.

I raised it with social services.

I raised it with the diocese safeguarding unit

but they both do something, but nothing ever happens.

Sorry, you're not interested.

What is it you're doubting?

Sorry?

Your ability to deal with it, her response to it,

or what else it is that you should be doing to help it?

Uh, you're remarkably frank.

Why are you looking at me like that?

I just wish I had your conviction.

You have certainty.

I mean, it's a good thing.

I haven't been certain about anything since...

...2001!

What happened then?

I became a nun.

Well...

...here are my cabbages.

They're beautiful.

You like that word?

Although these might actually be beautiful.

How do you keep the slugs away?

Look underneath.

They don't like eggshells.

Cuts them up. Ah-ha.

Helping the girl and your needle exchanges,

your hoops, it's impressive.

Doesn't feel impressive.

And here was I, thinking you were trying to impress me.

I am.

I struggle, I fail...

I intervene when I shouldn't, I...

You're a click of the fingers, Christian.

I'm sorry.

You want everything solved in a click of the fingers

and if it isn't, then it costs you.

You have a brutal way of describing things.

But I'm sure you're right.

No, no, I admire click of the fingers Christians.

They see a problem and they try to solve it.

I'm about as far from the click of a click of the fingers Christian

as you can get.

You followed your conviction to live a consecrated life.

Yes, well...

...this has become my home, for better or worse.

You make it sound like you're not happy here?

It's a it's a good thing, what you're doing.

And I'm sorry...

...conviction is another word I don't like.

I'll fetch the Abbess.

You know, you are supposed to make an appointment before coming here.

We are enclosed.

I can find the abbess, please.

Get on with your duties.

I shouldn't have disturbed you, I'm sorry.

CHOIR SINGS

Father Hicks.

Father?

You're, uh, you're leaving already?

Oh, uh, well, you were right, the Abbess told me

to make an appointment.

She's, um, she's quite formidable.

You all are.

I, uh, I didn't mean to...

...to be cruel before.

Uh, no, you weren't.

Brutal, cruel.

Oh!

I, I didn't mean... When I used that word

I didn't mean... Yes, I just thought, uh...

Thank you for sharing your struggles...

...with me, I didn't mean to be dismissive.

Sister, you've done nothing wrong.

Anna, call me Anna.

David.

The girl, whose mother's being hurt...

...maybe, Maybe she could find peace here,

but here is not the only peace.

Particularly if she's leaving her mother behind.

We are not a refuge.

It doesn't work if we're a refuge.

and we can't save her for you.

I know.

We've devoted...

We devote ourselves to something better.

And I think the question we all have to ask ourselves...

...David, is...

...is if we've done something right.

if we've listened to our hearts and we've done something right.

You should have been a preacher.

You're laughing at me.

I don't think I ever want to laugh at you...

...Anna.

I, um...

...must get to church.

Bye.

Bye.

Morning. Do you mind if you stay away from my daughter?

Your daughter sought spiritual guidance.

Yeah, well, just stay the fuck away, yeah, big man.

Bit early in the morning for a drink, isn't it, Phill?

Stealing kids off the port, is that what you do?

Just take them, stick them in a fucking castle

and throw away the key?

Look, why don't we go inside and talk about this properly?

I do recognise your Tina's spiritual guide too.

So...

Argh!

Argh!

Do not tell me or my daughter or my fucking wife

what's right.

Meddling little fuck!

Oh!

Oh, I'm sorry, sister,

I was just going to wake you.

And then I caught sight of this fawn.

I'm sure you want them chased away before

they eat your vegetables?

No, my garden's well protected.

We had a deer that used to come right up to the windows.

Must be 40... No, 60 years ago.

And would you feed it?

I once tried to stroke its nose.

It didn't like that.

I was scared it wouldn't come back.

But it did.

And then it didn't.

I always worried...

...perhaps someone took advantage of its innocence

and killed it.

I did miss it.

Have you really been here for 60 years, Polly?

74.

I came when I was 16.

A wonderful life.

I'm pleased you've stood in defence of Bimpe.

I think she has what it takes.

I really do.

Good day.

I'd like to speak to Father Hicks, please.

Um, I believe he's at home.

Can I help?

No.

Um...

...then I will call him on the phone.

Thank you.

PHONE VIBRATES

Hello?

Where is she?

Uh, no, no, no, I'll come straight down.

Sister?

I'm sorry, Uh, Anna.

You asked for me?

What's happened to your face?

Oh, I, um,

I got into a fight with a slippery cobblestone.

What are you...

Can we go somewhere a little less quiet?

I always promised myself that...

...I would see the problems in front of me clearly.

I always promised myself...

Do you, uh, do you not want to sit down? Uh, no, no, um...

Uh, I always promised myself that I...

...would be honest.

That I could be honest about how I feel.

Good.

And I see you, and I'm...

I'm cruel to you.

You weren't cruel.

I...

I think it's important to understand why,

when you came to visit, why I...

I was casual with you.

Um, and I think it's important

to say and... Well, to act...

...on...

When... When you touch my hand.

And I, I believe I should listen to my inner truth.

And I, I believe...

I believe that I have never felt the way that you make me feel.

Does the convent know you're here?

Anna, does the convent know you're here?

Oh, they've probably worked it out by now.

And...

...do you intend to...

Yes.

Why?

Simply because I touched your hand?

Because you felt feelings for me?

Well, there was nothing simple about it.

I...

...I thought you felt the same.

Same sort of feelings.

I'm so sorry.

But you...

But came back?

You, you came back to the Womack.

I'm so sorry if I presented...

If, um...

I made you feel, think...

I can...

...um, there's someone here...

...can drive you.

Um, Muriel, she's a parishioner.

She volunteers in the cafe here, she's... She's nice.

And I know she has a car.

And you're suggesting I go back?

I don't know what to suggest.

You're... You're saying

that I read something that isn't there?

Um, no.

No, I won't be going back.

Where will you stay?

I didn't come here to talk to you about my accommodation.

Have you any money?

No, uh...

Ah.

Um...

I'm really sorry.

So you said.

DISTANT VOICES

SIRENS WAILING

DOGS BARKING

Yes...

Yes, I will need somewhere to stay.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0