Original subtitles

Good morning, Sergeant.

Morning, Padre.

You look like an awfully good guy, eh?

Jingle, I'd say.

Not very imaginative.

Thank you, Doctor.

Come, Thorpe.

That makes three.

Three murders, and I... And we, we, we're still nowhere near a solution.

With your permission, Inspector, I think we should reconstruct, so to speak,

the whole thing from the beginning.

With very logical order, reorganising all the bits and bobs from last

the day before the reading of the will.

Welcome, Your Ladyship.

Oh, Barbara.

Darling child.

Hello, Aunt Gladys. How are you? Did you have a pleasant trip?

Perfectly abominable, darling.

My son drives like a village idiot.

Georgie?

Georgie, you haven't greeted your cousin, Barbara.

How are you, Barbara?

Hello, Georgie.

Peter, I hope you remember the night table. Of course, Your Ladyship. It is

already in your room.

I wouldn't have forgotten your favorite table. Three -legged?

Precisely. The first to arrive, I ask?

Yes, auntie, but the others should be here any moment. Oh, I don't mind.

I'm rather glad to be able to have a word with you in peace.

Naturally, you already know the dispositions of my brother's will.

No, I haven't the vaguest idea.

Really, dear, I appreciate your discretion, but you were the only one

cantankerous old goat could bear to have near him.

Oh, actually, in the last six months, I didn't see him more than three times at

that.

He shut himself up in the observatory with his telescope, day and night. And

when the time came, he even dictated his will there, directly to the solicitor.

I see.

And tell me something.

Did he learn about his daughter before he died?

That she was expecting a child, you mean?

Yes. But he didn't say anything about it. You know what he was like. Yeah.

I wonder...

If the thought of Isabel Bratt softened him to the point of leaving everything

to her, after she abandoned him to marry that... that failure.

Oh, Anthony isn't a failure.

He's a very intelligent man.

Not very practical.

But I suggest we change the subject, because here they come.

How are you, Peter?

How wonderful to see you again, Miss Isabel. It's been such a long time.

Misses, not misses.

I'm married, you know that, Peter.

Forgive me, but I shall always think of you as Miss Isabel and your husband as

the boy next door.

Hello, Georgie.

Aunt Gladys.

Hello, Barbara.

Welcome back.

Aren't they just too moving, these family reunions?

Why, Isabel, you're quite the perfect picture of a young expectant mother,

aren't you?

Of course, it was because you didn't want to risk getting over -upset in your

condition that you just couldn't come to your father's funeral.

No, Aunt Gladys, I didn't come because I wasn't well.

And I wasn't well because I lost the baby.

Well, you've made it, Uncle Lawrence, and all in one piece.

You lack the sporting instincts of a gentleman, Ted, and it's quite

Hail, everybody.

How much do these spaceships for frustrated astronauts actually cost? You

think I paid for it, do you? The thought had hardly entered our minds for a

moment, Ted. What are you careering in these days?

Drug peddling, counterfeit banknotes, or the white slave trade?

Dear old Aunt Gladys, always count on you for a kind word.

Pauline, darling, I'd like you to meet my dear Aunt Gladys.

I suppose someone may appreciate your attempt at humour, my boy, but may I

remind you that this is the family home and not some sordid motel. Oh, uncle,

that's no way to talk of a lady.

Dear family, let me introduce Pauline, my wife, the Duchess of Canterbury.

It would have been worth marrying her just to see your faces at this moment.

Welcome to our home, my dear. I'm Barbara.

Hello. Driving with Ted is always a tiring journey.

I'm sure you must be dying for a cup of tea. Oh, thank you. We really are a

grand family.

Aunt Lettuce, my sweet little vulture.

Smile.

Come on, let's go and strip the flesh off the carrion together.

We can tear each other to pieces later.

How delightful.

Beautiful guns.

The old goat knew his weapons.

Tomorrow I might do a little shooting. Want to come along?

Not a bad idea.

Anybody else for shooting? We can all go out, sir.

After all, the solicitor won't be here until afternoon.

If it means rising at dawn, eliminate me.

Very well. If we're to get up so early in the morning, best we say goodnight

off. You go, darling. Take your bath and... Georgie! Huh?

A bath and off to bed.

Oh, really, Mummy? I'd much rather take a shower. You're so funny.

Such a dolly clown. What nonsense.

Only animals and Americans get washed standing up, but a gentleman takes a

Now say goodnight and run along. Really, Mummy, I've been... Not another word,

do you hear?

I bet the day that Georgie finally gets around to cutting her throat, she'll

tell him it's terribly bad form.

Well, I only hope he doesn't do it tonight.

We're all too sleepy to be disturbed.

Good night, darling.

Good night.

Hang on, I'm coming too.

Forgive me, Barbara.

I haven't even tried to thank you yet.

It was wonderful of you to stay with Daddy right to the end.

Oh, it wasn't any great sacrifice, Isabel.

Though the rest of the family thought I did it just to... just to get something

out of it.

You know, I really didn't care very much for your father.

You're the only real human being that's worthy in this tribe, Barbara.

And I only hope that Daddy remembered you in his will the way you deserve.

Anyway... I want you to know that there is always a place for you in this house.

Thank you, Isabel.

Good night, Barbara.

Good night, Bill.

What's the matter Peter?

I wanted to be sure that everything was in order for the night, Miss Barbara.

You may go, Peter.

Thank you.

ROGIE!

I told you, Mummy, I'd much rather have a shower.

Ah!

Criminal! No, no, no! I was sorry!

I want to see you die! But I was only joking!

What are you doing here all alone?

Oh, I'm getting old. Before you stands an aged poet looking into the mirror of

time. Well, tell us.

What does he see?

Well, I see two children hiding. Here, holding hands.

A voice calls to them.

Remember what a shrill voice Isabel had when she was a little girl? Help,

Anthony! Barbara, hurry, come here!

Did you catch anything?

What are you all staring at?

What the devil's that?

Georgie!

Georgie.

Georgie. Come here this instant. Come here, you wimp!

Georgie!

All right.

Shall we begin?

If you all so desire, I can omit the reading of the preliminaries of Sir

will. We do so desire, Mr Thornton. We do indeed.

Very well.

Then I shall confine myself to reading the terms of this testament that concern

the parties present.

To Sergeant Aloysius Thorpe.

Present.

To Sergeant Aloysius Thorpe.

who for 25 years every Saturday has patiently allowed himself to be beaten

chess, and who has been a prodigious help for the cultivation of the azaleas,

pride of my hothouse, I bequeath the rarest of my earthly possessions, all of

200 pots of azaleas.

I rest with the certainty that Sergeant Thorpe shall give himself to the

cultivation of these splendid plants with the same dedication he applies to

duties as an officer of the law. To my sister...

To my sister, Lady Gladys Victoria Campbell, and to her son, George Harold

Gregory, 4th Viscount of Glenborough, to my brother, Lawrence Brown Carter, heir

to the barony of Vale and lord of Middlerun, and to my nephew, Theodore

Duke of Cantwell, I leave a bequest of inestimable value to which I hope they

will dedicate fitting care.

I refer to the historical archives of our distinguished family.

From these they will learn, and I trust with salutary effects on their damn

snobbery, that our fortunes derive from a certain Captain Johannes Carter,

enriched by illicit slave trading. Our ancestor, I am certain, would have been

delighted to know that the documents which speak of his lurid history are to

up in hands so similar to his own.

To my daughter Isabel, I bequeath the wedding ring and personal effects

belonging to her mother.

As for my personal wealth, she demonstrated her contempt for it by

house against my will. I feel it fitting, therefore, to respect her

by not leaving her a penny.

With all due respect, as witnesses, I must ask you to hear out the final

stipulation of Sir Henry's will.

I dispose, finally, that all the wealth and the property which constitute my

patrimony go to my niece, Barbara Ward, whom I nominate my sole heir.

Although read in America by a father whom I never could admire, I owe Barbara

gratitude for the affection with which she has remained by me, bringing a

serenity to these last lonely years of my life on earth.

Being of sound mind and body, I hereby sign and seal this, my last will and

testament, 15th of January, 1970,

Henry Carter, Second Baron of Vale. That rotten old son of a... Ted!

in the name of the whole family, Mr. Thornton.

I'll see you out.

Oh, thank you.

Good day to you all.

The damned, miserable, rotten, cheating old bastard!

Elizabeth, listen.

You should say something. After all, you were his only child. He can't do this

to you.

Well, he has done it, and I expected it.

We were so much alike.

Darling, it's not the money I'm thinking about. Oh, no.

Of course not. Oh, you keep out of this. Don't be such idiots.

We're all involved in this.

Little Miss Florence Nightingale had it all figured out, she did.

The sneaky bitch.

Money! Drop dead!

I'd like to express my very humble, sympathetic regret.

Sorry.

Condolences.

Barbara's very young.

I was just thinking.

I was just thinking that when you're as young as that, you don't think about

making a will.

So if, for example, something happened to her, the inheritance would be divided

into equal parts.

There'd be enough for everyone.

What are you saying, George?

Exactly what you're all thinking about now, Mummy.

Oh, but you haven't heard the end of this.

I'll contest a will.

I will.

Oh, now, come on. You're not being fair, old pastor. It's not my fault if Sir

Henry decided like he did.

Take it, you hundred plants, and be off with you right away, out of my

greenhouse. He didn't will you that. But I can't go pulling them out of our

house now.

It'll be sore death.

You really deserve to marry.

Oh, very well. Then they can stay.

Oh, thank you. You just remember that for me, them flowers don't exist any

longer. You got that?

I'm wiping them out of my life.

You look after them. You'll fertilize them. And you'll water them. Is that

clear? Yes.

You can have your blooming azaleas, policeman.

Copper. My mother always told me.

For once, nobody will be able to say the butler did it.

Georgie, I warned you.

And you promised not to do it again.

But, Mummy, it wasn't me.

You mean it was you, did it?

Well,

I mean, is he in the habit of doing it?

This is nothing, if you only knew.

Wake up, Peter, and we'll all have a good laugh.

The sergeant's getting fidgety.

Misunderstanding, is there?

But of course.

Yes, only there's very little to misunderstand.

Because, you see, waking this good fellow would sort of be

a bit difficult.

Sergeant Thorpe?

Yes, sir.

I really thought you were getting me up by train, sir. Fortunately, we do have

one or two cars left in Scotland Yard.

Dr. Carl Lyle, the police doctor.

Sir? Sergeant Higgins, our scientific expert.

Hi. Now, will you show us the way to the Carter Estate, please?

Ah, yes, sir. I'd be glad to.

To think that in all my 30 -year career, sir, no one's ever offered me a ride in

a radio police car before this very instant.

You go on to the house.

Miss Barbara Ward?

Yes? I'm Detective Inspector Gray.

Scotland Yard, I suppose.

Naturally. How do you do?

Please excuse me. I've been doing some gardening, trying to get my mind off

what's happened. The whole thing is shaking me up terribly. Yes, I

Is there perhaps anyone you suspect?

No, not in the least.

Peter was a member of the family, you might say, directed the household for

years and was well liked and respected by all the servants.

I am convinced that the murderer was someone from outside the house,

A burglar Peter caught in the act, or perhaps even a poacher. We have a lot of

them around, you know. Yes, in fact, various elements do indicate an

All the same, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you some questions, miss.

But Sergeant Thorpe has questioned everybody. I don't think Sergeant Thorpe

particularly competent for this kind of investigation.

It's beyond directing, sir.

As you wish. Then I'm at your disposition.

Get down!

I have an unpleasant feeling someone took a shot at you, Miss Ward, from the

look of this round little hole.

But that's not possible.

I didn't hear a shot. Right.

They must have used a silencer, obviously.

And we can't even be sure where the shot came from.

Did you see anyone hanging around, Thorpe?

What?

Nobody. But, Inspector, you surely can't think that someone in the house... My

dear young lady, I've never heard of poachers using silencers. Have you?

Besides, the shot came from above.

What's up there?

An observatory, Miss Ward?

Yes.

Toward the end, Uncle Henry turned to astronomy as one might to religion.

He slept here and had his meal set up to him by the dumbwaiter.

He lived like a hermit, refusing visitors and family alike.

He spent practically all of his time without ever leaving this room.

No one's been here at all since his death.

So it seems.

Well, what is it, Sergeant?

With your permission, sir, I think I found the pistol. The one they shot a

ago. I think it's a Mauser made in Germany from shape, Miss Barber. The

Where is it?

It's no longer there, sir.

Fountain, have you found it or haven't you?

I guess it would be better for one to say it's no longer where it was.

Does any of you take a pistol from that wreck?

Does any of you see someone else take a pistol from that wreck?

Does anyone suspect that someone may have taken a pistol from the wreck?

You remember what sort of gun it was?

Of course, Inspector.

A target pistol.

A very accurate weapon.

Not too accurate, fortunately.

Georgie!

Georgie!

Sergeant... Thorpe. You do take shorthand, of course.

Very frankly, sir, no.

No matter.

If you take a look in my bag, there you'll find a tape recorder.

Yes, sir. With microphone attachments.

Phone attachments.

Is this it?

Obviously. Record all the statements and you can copy them out later. Yes, sir.

Obviously.

Ready when you are, Paul?

Yes,

sir. Ready I am.

Right then. Let's begin.

First of all, I'd like to know if all the members of the household are

It's quite simple. Is everybody present or not?

Uh, Ted isn't here. He's my husband.

Might I ask where he is? On impulse, I would say no.

And for my whereabouts, what the devil has that got to do with you?

And who the devil am I talking to, anyway?

Ah.

I'm Detective Inspector Gray, CID, Scotland Yard.

Someone took a shot at your cousin, Barbara.

Someone is not a very good shot, it would seem. Yeah.

Would you mind telling me where you've been?

Oh, strolling around, I went out with the intention of taking you a few photos

of the landscape.

It might seem strange to you, but photography is a hobby of mine.

Oh, really, sir? It's a hobby of mine, too. I'm sorry.

Do you mind very much, sir, if I take a look? Paul.

I'll be with you, sir, in a minute.

What are you looking for, Sergeant?

The pistol?

What did you say?

I was saying that your sergeant's quite crafty, but he won't find any pistol in

there.

How did you know the shot was fired by a pistol?

Well, you said so.

No, I just said someone fired a shot.

Oh, yes, true.

And I instinctively looked straight at the gun rack where, obviously, was the

gun missing.

I'm a bright boy, you see.

Yes, I see.

I've never seen such a conglomerate of your knobs and thingamajigs. Why is the

FT put beside this M thing? The distance scale. Thought.

Sorry, sir, it's all so terribly curious.

In other words, sir, you were fatted at six feet, which in metres is... Two

metres. Oh, God.

Your pictures will be out of focus, I'm afraid.

Unless your landscape was only six feet away.

I didn't say I took any photos. I just said that I went out with the intention

of doing so. Of course. Sergeant, when you satisfied your photographic

curiosity, could you be so terribly kind as to go back and look after my tape

recorder?

Irresistible. Yes, quite.

Barbara, this cake is absolutely delicious.

Can I have some more whipped cream, please, Mummy? Of course you can.

Lawrence, do you mind passing the cream, please?

At once, my dear.

Ted, please.

You're not helping yourself, Barbara. It's not like you. Try to eat, darling.

You've hardly touched a thing.

What is it, Barbie?

I hadn't noticed. But you do look a little pale, dear.

Quite. Is something wrong?

Well, the dessert's not poisoned, that's for sure.

Will you please stop it?

When I think that one of you here, no later than this morning...

One

of us what?

What the hell do you mean?

She's joking, of course.

Aren't you?

Oh, yes.

Please forgive me.

I'm a little overwrought.

Self -control, darling. Self -control. Whatever will the inspector think of us?

The inspector was thinking you might even take more advantage of your

hospitality.

To the point of asking if you may stay the night.

You might suggest that to Barbara.

She is the lady of the house now.

Certainly, Inspector, if you think it might help.

Yes, I think it'll be most opportune.

Shall we go into the library for some coffee?

Georgie. Huh?

Some's a fool.

Very sorry, sir, but Peter was a butler. I've no training in this work.

Thanks a lot. That's bloody obvious.

Leave the bottle and get out.

Ted, what's gotten into you?

Nothing. Just leave me alone.

Ted, darling. Cut that out.

You worry me, Ted. You're so nervous.

It should have started worrying a little sooner, baby.

What do you mean?

While it was a question of flashy cars and fine clothes, you could put up with

my nervousness, couldn't you? That's not fair. You know that isn't true. Oh,

sure, sure.

You're in the club of the one -track minders.

Money, money, money.

But I want to tell you something.

By tomorrow night, one way or another, I'm going to get my hands on those 20

,000 quid. Dad!

Shh. Take it easy.

It's a sure thing.

Money in the bank.

Georgie, what do you want to do to me?

Shut up, or I'll strangle you.

No, Georgie.

Are you trying to tell me by any chance that you want to get me to bed?

That's right. And if you try to resist, you'll never get out of here alive,

okay?

Instead of making me nearly die of fright and ruining my dress, couldn't

just ask me? Not simpler.

Listen.

In the world, there's men and there's women.

You follow me?

All right, then.

Now, when a man fancies a woman, he says to her, look here, I really and truly

do fancy you.

So...

How about us going to bed together?

You see?

See?

After which he either said no... or yes.

It's your first time, isn't it?

Thank you.

No.

Mummy, no.

I won't do it anymore, I promise.

Please, no.

Promise me to stop doing these things, you understand?

Otherwise, I don't know where it will all end.

Promise me.

George, you're my good child.

Please don't cry, Mummy.

I'm sorry.

Going into the village?

Yes, with the inspector's permission.

I have a few things to do. Did you want to come along? No, no, I'm busy.

Listen, would you mind leaving the spool of film down at the chemist to be

developed? Tell them I'll pop in sometime to pick it up. No hurry.

Be glad to.

Well, I'm off.

Bye. Bye.

Like I said, we've got to strip the whole engine down.

Oh, how long will that take?

Well, there's the weekend coming up. We'll have to leave it till Monday, I'm

afraid, miss.

Oh, no.

I've come to rescue a lady in distress.

Of light.

Only that I'm going in another direction.

Who am I?

I'll take those.

I was beginning to worry about you, Isabel.

I'm sorry. That old rattle trap of ours has broken down again.

And this gentleman was kind enough to give me a lift home.

I thought we might ask him to stay for tea.

Why not stay for dinner?

Very tricky shot.

And I can't concentrate under these circumstances.

What are you thinking, Thorpe?

Sir? Oh, I was just thinking that nothing's really beyond the Scotland

Yes, I was actually referring to the more immediate dilemma of how to place

red ball into the right pocket, Thorpe.

Hello? Oh, Scotland Yard, sir. Ah, don't move anything.

Inspector Grey speaking.

What? Who is this?

How dare you ask?

How dare you?

Sergeant, there's some old mad woman on this phone who wants to know how far

we've got with the investigation.

Oh, you're right.

It's Maybel, the town's telephonic snooper.

If we don't make her listen at all, she's liable to drop the connection with

your call to the yard.

I'll arrest her.

Has everyone gone crazy round here?

England, not at the blast, Anderson.

Maybill? Four.

Oh, just fine.

Nope, you're about as far ahead as we are.

But he's tracked down every possible clue.

We can talk on it, but first the call to the yard, eh?

No, we don't mind. You can listen if you like.

Scotland Yard.

Ah.

Oh, come.

Hello?

Yes, Grace speaking.

Did you get the information I wanted?

Good.

Yes, go ahead.

Marvellous.

Mm -hm.

Wonderful. Thank you.

Good news, sir.

I'm accustomed as I am to anticipate a result, Thorpe. I feel I can say that

very, very close to the point of Thorpe in this case.

Lovely. Lovely indeed.

Yes,

my dear Thorpe, the moving finger having pushed the right button set into motion

the wheels of criminal research uncovering the blackguard behind the

Bush, sir?

Right. Mr. Ted Collins, the young man who just happened to be strolling around

the park at the time of the attempt on Miss Barbara's life, has a police

Fraud, grievous bodily harm, and right now he's run up a huge debt to an

unsavory individual listed in our files as an unlicensed bookmaker. A very nasty

customer indeed.

Go get Mr. Ted Collins, Thorpe.

Yes, sir.

Very efficient here. Oh, excuse me, Inspector, but there's something very

strange going on. Mr. Ted's room is locked from the inside.

I knocked and knocked, but no one answered.

Ah, you're here. Where's your husband?

I don't know. An hour ago he was upstairs in our room. Why?

Fall! Right behind you, sir.

Mr. Collins, this is Inspector Gray.

Open the door.

Mr. Collins, I order you to open this door.

Collins!

You're only weakening your position.

Open, I say.

Open this door.

Mr. Collins, this is Inspector Gray. Oh, blast him. Take a look.

much to see.

He's got the key inside blocking up the altar.

Colin, open up this door at once, you hear me? Open it at once!

Please.

Pistol. Yes,

just as I thought.

That's the same one that disappeared from the gun case.

Yes.

All right, everybody outside.

You too, Barbara.

Case is closed.

Now, don't stay around.

The case... What was that?

Now, stay where you are. No panic, please.

Thorpe.

Thorpe. What are you doing on the floor?

Accidentally hit the ground, sir. Did you make a noise?

Noise? I thought the roof had fallen in. I suppose even you have now realised

what happened, eh, Thorpe?

It's still a bit cloudy.

Good grief, man, so clear.

This suicide is practically a signed confession.

And as for the pistol, well, I'm sure the ballistic test will show that it's

exactly the same weapon that was used in the attempts on this barber's life.

Hmm?

Well, probably. No doubt about it.

Desperately pressed for money, Collins tried to kill his cousin to save his own

neck with the money from the inheritance.

His time was running out, and the creditors, a very nasty lot, believe me,

breathing hot down his neck.

So what does he do?

He takes the pistol, hides behind some dense foliage in the park, and waits for

a suitable moment.

He fires, but misses his target. Then, to his dismay, I arrive.

Remember his rather violent reaction to that?

Well, now his back's against the wall.

He knows I can't help but uncover the truth, so he begins to go to pieces.

Takes his pistol out again, aims at his right temple,

And... And he killed himself.

Did the butler kill himself too, sir?

The butler?

Yes. Well, I can't be expected to explain every little detail right on the

of the moment, Thorpe.

However, I've no doubt that I shall find a perfect logical motive for that

murder too.

Oh, oh, what the hell are you doing now?

Oh Oh, are you mad?

What are you doing down there back in a minute?

Don't move whatever you do

Thorpe? For a present, sir.

Thorpe!

Oh, here he is, sir.

What does all this mean?

If I may, sir, you've been listening to a concert.

Light motif for a solo gun.

And Mr.

Collins got it in the pizzicato.

Pizzicato? I mean, yes, of course, I knew that, yes.

Well, tell us your theory first, Sergeant, as usual.

Now, we've got a killer who purposely locks Collins in his bedroom. Why?

So as to plan it that we don't find out he was killed at least two hours

earlier. Collins was killed with a silencer. Remember those drops of resin,

what do you call it, that muck up the muzzle when you use a silencer?

Yes, yes, of course. Yes, now, the killer takes the weapon and plants it on

Collins to make it look suicidal.

He locks... and leaves the key inside the door.

Then ups the sound of the speaker.

Now, mind how the dumb waiter gets down the chute to where? The chute to where?

Hmm? To?

To a nifty little tape recorder.

All set up.

On which the killer manages to record the pistol shot, eh?

To get through the whole recording, our killer had an hour's worth of tape. And

so, by placing the shot halfway through, there was ample time to mix in with the

others and...

A gift, Collins, the way to blow his brains out.

But when I didn't hear his body so go ka -plunk to the ground, it put me to

wonder in a trifle.

Very good thought.

Quite elementary, of course, but... You haven't figured out who

did it yet, have you?

Oh, I'm sorry for misled you on that, sir. I ain't got a blooming idea.

Hmm? No.

You sure now?

I don't... Know what?

We've got him, Thorpe! I don't quite understand.

Oh, well, couldn't expect you to. You haven't had my experience of

investigations. The murderer has left the proof in our hands. The tape

Thorpe. You couldn't do it here, of course, but through the resources of the

CID, we'll trace his owner in a matter of mere hours, Thorpe. Mere hours! Sir,

as a matter of fact, a mere glance.

Oh, really? Good.

Let's see now. This is the property of Detective Inspector L.

Gray.

Do have some tea, dear. Don't touch me. I don't want any of you to come near me.

You frighten me.

You must try to get a grip on yourself, Pauline.

Sure, and I should just stand here like you, sipping my bloody tea.

When I know that someone in this house...

What would you call this, Sergeant?

Your permission, sir.

I call it play -acting.

Barbara.

What's wrong?

You look as if you've seen a ghost.

Would you like a drink?

No, not just now, thank you.

Well, then, I'll drink for both of us.

What's come over you, Anthony? You never used to drink at all.

I do a lot of things these days I never used to.

And vice versa.

I remember you used to write some lovely music.

I'm afraid you're the only one to appreciate that.

Oh, except me, of course.

Barbara, I'll tell you something I've never even told Isabel.

What her father said when he heard that she was going to marry me at all costs.

He was seated right here.

I can see him now, crusty old pirate with his red face glaring at me.

Anthony, you're a good lad, but you're not worth a damn.

Not a pauper's penny.

My daughter has the courage to face poverty, but she needs a man at her

real man.

Trouble is, even when she does open her ICU, she'll be too proud to admit she

made a mistake.

Anthony, you know very well Uncle Henry was morbidly jealous of Isabel, no

matter whom she married. No, wait, I haven't finished yet.

He also told me something else.

He said it would take a different kind of woman, one with a driving force, with

an inner strength.

To make a man out of an entity like me.

A girl like Barbara.

He told me a girl like Barbara will make you a happy man, Anthony.

Can I help you, sir? Excuse me.

Did you find out something else, sir? No.

That means coach.

I forgot a receipt that I should give to Pauline.

It was Ted's, really.

You think I should give it to her now?

Fine,

dear. Whatever you like.

I suppose it's boring.

But I didn't realize I could go spend the night out and you couldn't care

Why, Anthony?

I trust you, that's why.

It should make you happy.

Oh, yes, I'm just too...

So damned happy, dear.

Georgie, my God, you frighten me.

Miss Pauline.

I fancy you.

How about us going to bed together? You can either say yes or no.

Yes, of course, why not?

But on one condition, that later you tell Mummy Ken's all about it, eh,

I got in a ute before he hit me, so all we've got to do now is look out for

who's got a black eye and a button -toothed fuel, eh? Yes, yes, let's start

seeing who's been running around at night before they tell us the usual pack

lies.

Ah, so Miss Barber's been out.

Aha.

Oh, yes, another's been detached. Doesn't surprise me at all.

You take those two.

Well, here's another night owl.

How about you, Thorpe?

This one too, sir.

Amazing. Here we have another one.

Here's one still intact.

Ah, good.

See, Thorpe? It's the classical process of elimination.

I say, would you be kind enough to tell me the meaning of this infernal dinner

at such an ungodly hour?

Are you inspecting my toilet, Sergeant, or the cut of my moustache?

What's going on, Inspector?

I don't know yet, but I know I don't like it. What don't you like now,

Inspector?

Dawn is a bit early for a conference, don't you think, Inspector?

Yeah, maybe, maybe.

I don't see any black eyes yet, Thorpe. I ain't exactly a lightweight with me

mitts. And I assure you, the right hook of mine will have left a scar, sir.

Seriously, Inspector, you didn't wake us up at this hour just to talk about

boxing, did you?

You haven't all woken up, it seems to me.

Miss Pauline must be a particularly heavy sleeper. She must be tired, poor

thing.

Mrs.

Collins?

Mrs. Collins?

Would you kindly open?

Inspector, Pauline isn't also... No, she isn't. She simply disappeared.

Well, Thorpe?

Excuse me.

Nothing, no.

I opened every single drawer in the ruddy house, but I couldn't find a suit

this year's cloth, what's lacking a button.

Quite. Added to the famous black eye that you insist upon, Thorpe, it leads

inevitably to an outsider.

It's quite obvious.

That bawdy woman had an accomplice.

It's as clear as daylight.

What's clear about that? Why would they commit two murders? Answer me that, dear

lady.

And why the attempt on Miss Barbara, may I ask?

My dear sir, if you must know, I don't consider it at all dignified of you to

keep on asking other people to do your work.

Stop! Take a note. Top priority.

Contact all cars in the county.

Be on the lookout for a black woman with a white man with a black eye and a grey

button missing, all right?

Nice.

Really is a splendid day.

Don't you think?

Yes, it is, particularly for this time of year.

Let's do something. Well, we could play a few holes of golf.

What do you say?

I think it's a wonderful idea.

The course isn't really in shape, and frankly, I don't know as I much feel

it. Oh, come on, it'll do you good.

Not very imaginative.

Thank you, Doctor. Come, Thorpe.

Reminded. And I'm still, we're still nowhere near a solution.

With your permission, sir, I think we should reconstruct, so to speak, the

right from its beginning with chronological order. We could start with

Wednesday, sir, which coincides with the reading of the will.

Thorpe, I've already filled in ten rather expensive little notebooks.

and I know even less now than I did at the beginning.

Inspector Gray?

Yes, what is it, Constable? We just stopped a fellow for speeding.

But when I saw him close up, I remembered your message to all cars.

Well, well, well, look who's here.

Close

match,

huh? Quite.

Ah, congratulations, Sergeant. I see your right hook is as good as you said

was. Well, he ain't no softy himself neither, sir.

Listen here.

Listen. What's it about?

What's all this about? What do you want with me?

What do we want with him?

All right, I admit.

I exchange a few punches with the copper.

Making a big fuss over it, aren't we?

Well, I'll say you know very well they're not the principal charge.

Really? Then what is?

Three meditated murders, sir.

Three murders, in fact. You must be joking.

No, not unless you have a perfectly good explanation of your presence in the

house last night.

Isabel, I'm sorry. I'd go a long way to save a lady's reputation, only I

couldn't risk murder to do it.

Explain yourself, Sonny Jim.

Last night I was... I made an appointment that morning to be together

Exactly how do you mean together?

We were in a room on the ground floor till early this morning, clear?

Right.

When I was about to leave, the lights went out and you know the rest.

I'm sorry.

What do you say to that, madam?

Miss Isabel, what do you say?

Last night, I only went out of my room to give Pauline the receipt for the

photograph that Ted asked me to have developed. I haven't the slightest idea

this gentleman has chosen to embarrass me in this way. He's lying.

How can you say that I wouldn't... I had only seen the gentleman on one

occasion, and that was yesterday afternoon.

You know that's not true.

I don't know why he's lying, but he is lying. Isabel, for God's

sake, what are you saying?

You've got to tell the truth.

Isabel!

You can't leave like that!

Let go of me! This man just stayed in the house! Then hang me!

No! Isabel!

Isabel!

Isabelle! Isabelle!

Go, go.

Oh, darling, I only want to get you something to wear. You can't go around

that state.

Let me see what I have.

Here.

There's nothing like a change of clothes to help a woman's morale.

Bill, I think Anthony knows you're alive.

I know he does.

Even if I had told the truth, what good would it have done to us to make a scene

like that?

Oh, sure.

He would have said nothing.

He would have been so damned comprehensive in expressing his trust.

Why don't you leave him?

Because...

Though I know he's a failure.

Only Anthony can rescue our matrimony.

And I love him.

It's Barbara.

No.

It's Isabel.

Good God, for a moment.

I saw that dress and I thought it was you.

No. It's Isabel, Inspector.

And I... I'm the one who killed her. What?

I killed her.

I killed her.

Why?

Don't you see I'm the one?

You mistook me for Isabel on the floor. I just now... The murder method doesn't

say a thing.

That fool always meant for me.

She was in my room, with my clothes.

It's as if I killed her myself.

No, no, no. Just try to keep calm now.

The shot came from outside, Ethel.

From outside?

And more than likely from that window.

Keep off the floor, Thorpe. Yes.

They're damn blurred.

But it looks like they've been made by a man, too.

Afraid that won't help you very much, sir. Why not?

Well, nowadays it's starless for a lady to wear a man's shoe.

I'm referring naturally to the golf course, sir.

Well, that's obvious, Thorpe. Yes, quite.

It's... mad.

Oh, nothing, sir. It's just that... Doesn't it strike you like there's some

funny in this here room?

Funny?

Ah. Don't rightly know, sir.

It's like a sensation, know what I mean?

Oh, what do you call it? An intuition, sir.

Like... Like there's something different now from what it was.

Oh, well, that's where the window's open.

Probably.

Do keep a clear head, Pa.

Barbara, wait.

What's the matter, George? I've got to talk to you right away.

Not now. It's terribly important, my little cousin.

What's all about?

They're not here.

Somewhere quiet.

Somewhere no one can hear us.

Barbara, don't you trust me?

I trust you, George. I have to trust somebody, otherwise I'll go out of my

They're terribly important.

Meet me in ten minutes down at the table.

Nobody ever goes there.

Okay.

Oh, Barbara.

Mind you don't say anything to the inspector.

It's in the interest of the family.

Yes. Yes, sir, I know they're one of the leading families in the land. Not till

now I've used all possible tact and discretion.

But if they go on lying and covering up for each other like a bunch of thieving

gypsies... Then I'll lock up the lot of them.

Sir.

Well, if it's not asking too much, explain what you're standing there like

stuffed dummy for, Thorpe.

Wake up, man.

What? Oh, sorry.

I got it, and yet I can't explain the meaning.

Like, I mean, why am I hearing a noise going on and around in my head, sir?

a buzzing bee that's trying to tell me something.

What do you have in your head, Thorpe? A brain or a bloody beehive?

Do you think that with four murders to solve, I've got time to start worrying

about your damn buzzing noises, you hobnailed country yokel pumpkin?

Last night, I only went out of my room to give Pauline the receipt for the

photographs Ted asked me to have developed.

The receipt for the photographs Ted asked me to have developed.

To give Pauline the receipt for the photographs Ted asked me to have

To have developed.

Maybe it's Aloysius.

No, no, no. I don't want Scotland Yard.

Would you put the call on through to Reggie?

Reggie, the photographer?

Reggie, this is Thorpe. I've got a little thing here. I believe there's

pictures you were developing for the Carters?

And the receipts made out for?

Out to Ted Collins.

Tell me, is there a chance? I mean, you probably took a look at those photos,

right? Right, right.

Oh, nobody's there. Just pictures that have got to do with the estate.

Huh?

But listen, can you explain what about a clock?

A clock and a pistol?

Funnier. Listen, Reggie, would you mind very much bringing me over them photos?

Huh? You gave that to Ted Coll... You did?

No, no, no.

Would you repeat that?

Ted Collins?

It's not that I doubt your word, Reggie, but do you know Ted Collins?

Oh, I thought.

Listen, Reggie, could you kindly describe him? I mean, give me a

this Ted Collins.

Aye.

Yes.

Oh, I know the fellow all right now. Thanks a lot, Reggie.

Saw a clock.

And a piston.

Gordon!

Hey, you two there!

It's me, Thorpe!

Come on up right away!

And you might get the others!

Oh, please take a seat, everyone. I mean, there's no sense standing around

is there?

Your ladyship, George, together then.

What's the meaning of this? What the devil's going on, Thorpe?

Nothing, sir.

Nothing, sir, forenoon. Not a blooming thing.

Not before twelve.

Aye.

Here.

That clock. working exactly so that's what i too kept marveling at it's not

supposed to be ticking and yet it's ticking strange if no one's been in here

over a month oh so there are ghosts here in the old family home too the devil in

this ain't no phantasm milad all right because it's

somebody in here that wants all of sir henry's money every ruddy coin

and what are you going to do but would you mind very much if i Pick the

murderer out.

Or would you prefer to do it, sir?

No, no, no. You carry on, Sergeant.

If you make a mistake, I'll correct you.

Well, thanks, sir.

So, according to you, one of us here is the guilty party.

You realize, I hope, Sergeant, the seriousness of what you're saying?

Lady Campbell.

Offending your sensitivities ain't nearly as serious as committing four

killings, don't you think?

Even if two of them were not foreseen in the murderer's plan.

Which two, Paul?

Well, of course, to you it's obvious. I'm talking about Ted Collins and

sir. Yes, Ted Collins, sir, had managed to find out who shot at Cousin Barbara.

Thanks to a photo.

He had it all figured out.

But the murderer got to him first.

And then also killed his wife for fear that she knew too much.

Do you think he was going to use that photograph for blackmailing?

You're asking for my opinion.

You've definitely missed your vocation.

Should have been on the stage.

Romeo and Juliet. I should think he's suited to your temperament, Sergeant.

Sergeant Thorpe in A Story of Love.

Oh, lovely. You really hit the night on the head, yeah?

But there is an actor.

And of great emotion.

In a story of murder and... and love.

What does all this charade mean, Sergeant Thorpe? It means that I could

who's the killer.

And the way it happened and all.

But I'd still have to prove it.

It's a matter of seconds now.

The killer knows that I know.

You might call it a battle of nerves.

But I've got the murderer truly petrified now.

I'm really very sorry, sir, but... You've got about a 30 -second

margin. What does that mean, Sergeant? I don't understand.

Who found that shot, Thorpe?

With your permission, sir, the telescope.

Oh.

The weapon.

Clever, eh, Inspector?

Another stretch of wire.

Wire, wire, wire, wire, wire, wire.

And the journey ends inside the clock.

No, no!

My God, I've got it.

Oh, congratulations, sir. Thank you.

You can't fool now, George.

I know you picked up them photos, passing yourself off as Ted Collins.

You're not covering up for no one now, so out with them photos, lad.

So that's it.

Really, huh? Because of those photos.

Huh, Georgie?

Isn't that the reason you called me outside just now?

Yes, that's right.

And I know what you'd have given me to thank me.

How did you come to possession of this photograph?

Pauline gave him the receipt from the chemist's shop.

It was at night. She was frightened. She didn't want to be alone.

But I left her.

Because I was too afraid of mummy.

George, how could you? Why could you, old vicious, bitchy bat?

Miss Barbara, since there had to be a second will, whatever became of it, did

you destroy it?

What second will, Sergeant?

Well, there had to be a particular motive for the murder of the butler

the opening of the first will.

Obviously, he witnessed the later will.

Isn't that right?

Yes.

Uncle Henry made a new will a few hours before he died.

Idiot, thieving, miserable, strumpet!

You are a vampire! I doubt the second will got you anything better.

So who was to inherit it all?

I think Isabel.

Isabel. She'd always been in my way. She always cut me off from everything.

The inheritance.

Anthony. Me? You didn't kill her for that. I killed her for you, Anthony. For

us. Great stuff, little cousin.

What was a good lawyer in the old balance of the mind disturbed bit?

You should be back in circulation in about ten years.

Well, Thorpe, this Carter case has been quite tricky.

Yes, quite tricky.

And I really sorted them out, eh?

I must say, you've been quite a help to me.

Oh, I didn't do very much, really. Oh, no, what's fair is fair.

And don't worry, I won't forget to mention you in my report.

I say, I don't suppose you'd care to have me transfer you to London, Scotland

Yard, with me?

You're not bantering, sir, now, I mean, I thought...

I thought I belonged in a barn.

Just thinking of London, sir, is frightening.

Couldn't resist one last joke, eh?

Very funny. Oh, yes.

All right, lad, go on, on your feet.

If I may, sir, what if he's not joking?

What do you mean?

Supposedly he really is dead.

You're the expert, Thorpe. How fast can we get the hell out of here?

London's two hours by train, sir. Right, carry on, Thorpe.