Original subtitles

I HAVE THIS THING HANGING OFF OF ME.

IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.

[ Crying ] I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I LET MYSELF GET THIS WAY.

**

Man: [ MOANING ]

MY WEIGHT HAS GIVEN ME A DEATH SENTENCE.

Nikki: THE THING I RELIED ON ALL THESE YEARS

IS WHAT'S KILLING ME.

IT'S BROKEN! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T GET OFF.

DON'T LET ME GO, PLEASE. I'M NOT.

Chad: IT'S HARD TO BE A FATHER FROM A CHAIR.

[ GRUNTS ] THANK YOU, HONEY.

I SEE THAT UNWILLINGNESS.

IF YOU WERE SERIOUS, YOU'D MAKE CHANGES.

Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M TAKING ASHLEY TO EMERGENCY SURGERY.

THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED NOW, OR ASHLEY WON'T SURVIVE.

-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

**

Ashley: THE HARDEST PRISONS TO BREAK OUT OF

ARE THE ONES THAT WE BUILD OURSELVES.

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

THERE IS NOT A DAY THAT GOES BY THAT I DON'T HAVE PAIN.

JUST ABOUT ANY MOVEMENT HURTS.

AND JUST WALKING THE 20 FEET FROM MY BED TO MY BATHROOM

IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL.

[ Voice breaking ] MY WEIGHT HAS MADE IT

ALMOST UNBEARABLE TO GET AROUND.

THE NORMAL THINGS THAT EVERYBODY DOES

IS SO HARD TO DO WHEN YOU'RE MY SIZE.

AND I'M TERRIFIED TO GET IN MY OWN BATHTUB...

BECAUSE I ALMOST FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA FALL THROUGH THE FLOOR.

[ WATER RUNNING ]

I'M GOOD TO STAND FOR MAYBE FIVE MINUTES.

SO IT'S A STRUGGLE FOR ME TO BATHE.

PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH IT ACTUALLY TAKES

JUST TO DO ANYTHING.

I HAVE THIS...THING HANGING OFF OF ME.

IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.

MY STOMACH HANGS SO HEAVY ON MY BACK,

SOMETIMES WHEN I'M STANDING,

I'M SCARED OF PHYSICALLY BREAKING MY OWN BACK.

AND IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD NOW

THAT I'M AFRAID THAT I'LL BE COMPLETELY IMMOBILE SOON.

AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO HAVE SOMEBODY TAKE CARE OF ME.

AND I DON'T WANT THAT EMBARRASSMENT.

I COULD STILL TAKE CARE OF MY BODY,

WASHING AND BATHING, RIGHT NOW,

BUT I NEED HELP WITH JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE.

AND MOST OF THAT FALLS ON MY 5-YEAR-OLD SON, PATRICK.

MY SON HELPS ME WITH EVERYTHING.

[ SIGHS ]

HE'S MY LEGS AND A LOT OF THINGS.

BASICALLY, EVERYTHING THAT INVOLVES STANDING

AND WALKING AROUND A LOT, PATRICK DOES FOR ME.

GO GET THE BLUE BUCKET FOR MAMA.

WE'RE GONNA DO SOME LAUNDRY REAL QUICK.

HE HAS TO HELP ME WITH JUST ABOUT EVERY HOUSEHOLD CHORE.

WITHOUT HIM, I'D BE LOST,

BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T DO IT ON MY OWN.

[ GRUNTS ]

Patrick: IT'S HARD FOR HER TO WALK,

SO I DO THE STUFF THAT SHE WANTS ME TO DO EVERY DAY.

WOULD YOU PUT THEM IN THE DRYER, PRETTY PLEASE?

MM-HMM.

PATRICK IS TOO YOUNG TO BE DOING THE STUFF THAT HE DOES.

I SHOULD DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM.

PAT...

IT MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY, BECAUSE HE'S 5.

HE SHOULD BE PLAYING WITH TOYS AND WATCHING TV.

I SHOULD BE TAKING CARE OF HIM.

3-0-0.

"START"

BUT HE HAS TO HELP ME,

BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS A TRUCK DRIVER

AND HE'S GONE PROBABLY 70 TO 100 HOURS A WEEK.

GET YOUR BREAKFAST.

SO OUR FOOD IS MOSTLY WHAT PAT CAN MICROWAVE

OR CARRY IN HERE FOR ME TO PREPARE.

AND IT SCARES ME THAT HE'S LEARNING

A LOT OF HIS EATING HABITS FROM ME.

I JUST WANT TO BE A GOOD MOM AND TAKE CARE OF HIM,

BECAUSE I NEVER HAD THAT AND I KNOW HOW PAINFUL THAT IS.

[ SNIFFLES ]

[ Crying ] I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I LET MYSELF GET THIS WAY.

MY EARLY CHILDHOOD WAS VERY UNSTABLE

BECAUSE MY PARENTS GOT A DIVORCE WHEN I WAS 5 YEARS OLD.

AFTER THE DIVORCE, MY MOM TOOK MY SIBLINGS AND I WITH HER,

BUT SHE WAS NEVER AROUND BECAUSE OF HER DRUG ADDICTION.

SO WE SPENT A LOT OF TIME AT THE BABYSITTER'S.

AND WHEN I WAS 6,

MY BABYSITTER'S HUSBAND STARTED MOLESTING ME.

IF MY MOTHER HAD BEEN PAYING ATTENTION,

I THINK SHE COULD HAVE CHANGED A LOT OF STUFF

THAT WAS GOING ON.

BUT AS THE OLDEST ONE,

I FELT LIKE I HAD TO PROTECT MY BROTHER AND SISTER,

'CAUSE THEY WERE REALLY LITTLE.

SO I LET IT HAPPEN TO ME SO IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO THEM.

AND I FELT LIKE I HAD NO ONE TO PROTECT ME,

SO I STARTED TO TURN TO FOOD TO DEAL WITH IT ALL.

MY MOM ESSENTIALLY CHOSE DRUGS AND THAT LIFESTYLE

OVER WATCHING HER KIDS GROW UP.

SO I DEVELOPED MY OWN ADDICTION.

MINE WAS JUST WITH FOOD.

BUT THINGS DID GET BETTER WHEN I WAS 8 YEARS OLD,

BECAUSE MY MOM DROPPED ME AND MY SIBLINGS OFF AT MY DAD'S

AND SHE WAS OUT OF MY LIFE FOR 13 YEARS.

FROM THEN ON, MY DAD RAISED ME, AND I FELT SAFER WITH HIM.

[ Voice breaking ] BUT I STILL DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

HOW COULD A MOM JUST THROW AWAY HER KIDS?

AND FOOD WAS STILL THERE TO HELP ME DEAL WITH THAT PAIN,

SO I KEPT EATING.

ASHLEY'S EATING HABITS WERE A LOT LIKE NORMAL HABITS.

BUT SHE WOULD EAT ENORMOUS AMOUNTS OF FOOD,

AND SHE JUST GOT LARGER AND LARGER.

Ashley: I WOULD SNEAK A LOT OF FOOD.

I REMEMBER GETTING UP OUT OF BED AND GOING TO THE REFRIGERATOR

AND JUST EATING DURING THE NIGHT.

IT WAS JUST A CONSTANT COMFORT FOR ME.

AND BY THE TIME I WAS IN SIXTH GRADE,

I PROBABLY WEIGHED 250 POUNDS.

Tommy: I JUST KEPT BEING THE BEST DAD I COULD BE TO ASHLEY.

I WAS TRYING TO MAKE HER HAPPY.

AND IF ONE MORE SLICE OF PIE WOULD HAVE MADE HER HAPPY,

I'D GIVE HER ANOTHER SLICE OF PIE.

Ashley: AND BY THE TIME I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL,

I WEIGHED 400 POUNDS.

SINCE THEN, I'VE JUST KEPT EATING AND GAINING WEIGHT.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

LONG.

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

I MET MY HUSBAND, JAKE, IN HIGH SCHOOL.

HE DIDN'T CARE THAT I WAS AROUND 400 POUNDS,

AND I FELT LIKE HE ACCEPTED ME.

HE MADE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.

I NEVER HAD ANYONE LIKE THAT.

Jacob: ASHLEY HAS ALWAYS BEEN BEAUTIFUL TO ME.

SHE WAS ALWAYS SMILING, AND SHE WAS A FUN PERSON TO BE AROUND.

I LOVED WHO SHE WAS, BUT OVER THE YEARS,

SHE JUST GOT SO BIG,

AND SHE'S NOT THE SAME PERSON THAT SHE ONCE WAS.

SHE DON'T SMILE AS MUCH,

SHE'S MORE DEPRESSED ABOUT HER WEIGHT.

AND SHE EATS BECAUSE SHE FEELS BAD, AND THEN IT JUST --

IT'S NEVER-ENDING.

JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE.

Ashley: [ Voice breaking ] WHEN YOU TURN TO FOOD FOR EVERYTHING,

IT'S A VERY HARD ADDICTION TO BREAK.

I DON'T EAT THAT MANY TIMES DURING THE DAY,

BUT WHEN I DO EAT, I EAT ENOUGH FOR TWO OR THREE MEALS.

MY PLATE ALONE COULD PROBABLY FEED A FAMILY OF FOUR.

BUT FOR THAT BIT OF TIME WHILE I'M EATING,

IT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST DISAPPEAR.

IT'S LIKE A CALM THAT WASHES OVER ME.

IT'S MY COMFORT.

TO ME, FOOD IS LIKE SEX.

IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD.

AND ONCE I START EATING, IT'S VERY HARD TO STOP.

AT MY SIZE RIGHT NOW,

THIS IS THE BIGGEST I'VE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE.

AND I'M BASICALLY CONFINED TO THE HOUSE.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

I GO TO TOWN MAYBE ONCE A WEEK.

AND THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE THAT'S WHEN WE GO GET GROCERIES.

[ ENGINE STARTS ]

OH, MY BACK IS KILLING ME.

I USED TO ENJOY GOING OUT, BUT NOW IT'S A HORRIBLE FEELING.

SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO COME INSIDE?

ALL RIGHT.

I HAVEN'T BEEN IN A GROCERY STORE --

OR ANY STORE, FOR THAT MATTER -- IN OVER A YEAR,

BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND OR WALK FOR TOO LONG

WITHOUT HAVING TO SIT DOWN,

AND I HATE EVERYONE STARING AT ME

LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF FREAK.

COME ON.

SO I SIT IN THE TRUCK.

AND JAKE AND PATRICK GO IN AND GET EVERYTHING.

Jacob: BE A LOT BETTER IF SHE COULD HELP

AND DO A LOT OF THE THINGS THAT SHE USED TO DO.

BUT SHE DOESN'T LIKE WHEN PEOPLE LOOK AT HER,

SO SHE CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.

Ashley: EVEN STAYING IN THE TRUCK,

PEOPLE STILL STARE JUST BECAUSE OF MY SIZE.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW, I'M GONNA PRAY FOR YOU.

YOU CAN MAKE IT.

GOD BLESS YOU.

[ CRYING ]

TO ME, IT'S THE SAME AS IF A PERSON DOESN'T HAVE ANY LEGS.

YOU DON'T STARE AT SOMEBODY.

I MEAN, YOU JUST DON'T DO THAT.

IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M NOT A PERSON, LIKE I'M AN OBJECT.

[ SOBS ]

I'M NOT AN EXHIBIT.

I'M A HUMAN BEING.

[ SOBS ]

I HATE PEOPLE STARING AT ME.

YEAH?

JACOB KNOWS, IF I'M UPSET,

HE NEEDS TO GET ME SOMETHING TO EAT QUICKLY.

IF I'M HURTING, I WANT TO TURN TO SOMETHING

THAT'S GONNA MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

AND I KNOW IT'S FOOD.

LET ME GET THE, UH, 20 TENDERS -- THE MEAL --

AND ROLLS INSTEAD OF BISCUITS.

THANK YOU.

IT'S A COMFORT.

IT'S BEEN A COMFORT EVER SINCE I WAS YOUNG.

LET ME SEE. I DON'T KNOW. LOOK.

WHEN YOU'RE EATING, IT'S LIKE NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.

FOOD DOESN'T JUDGE.

IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT COMFORTS ME.

AND I NEED IT.

BUT I KNOW, AT THE SAME TIME, IT'S GONNA KILL ME.

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY LIFE,

AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY.

[ Voice breaking ] I'M THROWING MY LIFE AWAY FOR FOOD.

WHAT KIND OF PERSON DOES THAT MAKE ME?

WHY CAN'T I JUST PUT IT DOWN?

Jacob: I REALLY DO LOVE ASHLEY.

AND...IT HURTS ME TO SEE HER HURT.

I LOVE YOU, BABY.

[ Voice breaking ] I CAN'T -- I CAN'T FIX HER.

I CAN FIX A LOT OF STUFF, BUT I CAN'T -- I CAN'T FIX HER.

Ashley: [ Crying ] I HAVE LET MYSELF DOWN.

I'M LETTING MY HUSBAND DOWN, MY SON.

I DON'T WANT HIM TO HAVE A MOM LIKE ME.

I WANT HIM TO HAVE A REAL MOM.

AND I WANT TO DO THE THINGS THAT MY MOM DIDN'T DO WITH ME.

BUT I NEED HELP.

I DON'T WANT MY HUSBAND TO HAVE TO BURY ME.

AND IF I KEEP GOING, THAT'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

**

Ashley: YOU READY, BABY?

I'M READY WHEN Y'ALL ARE. Y'ALL READY?

YEAH.

I'M NERVOUS TO GO TO THE DOCTOR TODAY.

OTHER DOCTORS HAVE REFUSED TO HELP ME BECAUSE OF MY SIZE.

I'M WORRIED THIS DOCTOR IS GONNA SAY THE SAME THING.

SO THIS HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DEVASTATING

OR ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO HAPPEN IN MY LIFE.

ARE YOU EXCITED FOR TODAY?

YES AND NO.

I HAVEN'T WEIGHED MYSELF IN OVER A YEAR AND A HALF,

SO I'M NERVOUS TO SEE THE NUMBER ON THE SCALE

AND I'M ANXIOUS TO SEE WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY.

WELL, WE MADE IT.

I DO SEE THIS AS MY LAST CHANCE,

BECAUSE WITHOUT THIS DOCTOR TAKING MY CASE,

I KNOW MY LIFE EXPECTANCY IS NOT VERY LONG.

I JUST HOPE I DIDN'T WAIT TOO LONG.

A LOT IS RIDING ON MEETING THIS DOCTOR.

Woman: 725.

I DIDN'T EXPECT MY WEIGHT TO BE THAT HIGH.

[ Voice breaking ] I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE GOTTEN THIS BIG.

[ CRIES ]

TO SEE 725 ON THE SCALE WAS A SMACK IN THE FACE.

I JUST HOPE THE DOCTOR DOESN'T TURN ME AWAY.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HELLO.

I'M DR. NOWZARADAN.

MY NAME IS ASHLEY.

YOU ARE, WHAT, 27?

YES, I'M 27 YEARS OLD.

AND SO YOU ARE 725 POUNDS.

TELL ME WHY YOU THINK YOUR WEIGHT HAS GOTTEN THIS HIGH.

I EAT TOO MUCH WHEN I SIT DOWN AND ACTUALLY HAVE A MEAL.

I EAT ENOUGH FOR PROBABLY THREE OR FOUR REGULAR PEOPLE.

AND IT'S LIKE I NEVER GET FULL.

AND A LOT OF TIMES, I EAT FOR COMFORT.

WHO DOES THE GROCERY SHOPPING?

Jacob: ME.

I MEAN, WE MAKE A LIST, AND MY HUSBAND GOES IN FOR ME.

ALL RIGHT.

Dr. Nowzaradan: ASHLEY HAS CREATED AN ENVIRONMENT

WHERE SHE CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE WITHOUT CONSTANTLY EATING.

NOW THAT SHE IS OVER 700 POUNDS,

SHE'S NOT VERY FUNCTIONAL ON HER OWN,

AND SHE'S EATING CONSTANTLY,

SO SOMEONE MUST BE BRINGING HER ALL THE FOOD.

HE'S YOUR ENABLER, AND HE IS OVERWEIGHT,

SO HE'S NOT MAKING GOOD CHOICES ON HIS OWN TO EVEN HELP YOU.

SO YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND

THAT YOU ARE IN A DANGEROUS SITUATION.

AT YOUR WEIGHT, EVERY PART OF YOUR BODY

IS UNDER STRAIN JUST TO FUNCTION.

AND AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT MUCH BEYOND 30.

YOU BOTH HAVE TO CHANGE THAT

BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ANY TIME LEFT.

HER HOME DYNAMIC AND HER EATING HABITS

ARE GOING TO BE EXTREMELY HARD TO BREAK,

BUT SHE NEEDS TO REALIZE THAT SHE HAS NO CHOICE.

SHE EITHER DOES THIS,

OR THIS MAY BE THE LAST TIME I SEE HER.

YOU NEED TO START A NEW DIET I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU

TO LOSE 50 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT MONTH.

YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW SERIOUS THIS IS RIGHT NOW.

YES, SIR. ALL RIGHT.

ANY QUESTIONS?

ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER.

I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE HARD,

BUT AT LEAST HE'LL ACCEPT ME AS A PATIENT.

**

HEARING DR. NOW TALK ABOUT

EVERYTHING THAT MY WEIGHT IS DOING TO MY BODY

PUTS IT IN PERSPECTIVE

THAT I CAN'T JUST PUT IT OFF UNTIL TOMORROW ANYMORE.

I'M REALLY SCARED.

TOMORROW, I COULD BE DEAD.

AND I CAN'T DO THAT TO MY SON.

MY MOM ABANDONED ME,

AND I'M NOT GONNA LET MY WEIGHT TAKE ME AWAY FROM MY CHILD.

THIS IS GONNA BE THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE.

Jacob: HEY, BABY, YOU READY? WE GOT EVERYTHING LOADED.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

OUR LEASE IS UP ON OUR CURRENT HOUSE,

SO WE'RE MOVING TO A NEW PLACE NEARBY.

I'M TRYING TO HELP WHERE I CAN AND STAY ACTIVE.

AND I'VE BEEN MAKING PROGRESS.

OKAY.

I NOTICE I CAN WALK OUT TO THE TRUCK

AND NOT BE OUT OF BREATH ANYMORE,

AND JUST LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT

HAVE BEEN A LOT EASIER.

BUT MOVING IS STRESSFUL, AND WE CAN'T COOK,

SO WE HAVE TO GET FAST FOOD.

ALL RIGHT, MAN, LET ME GET AN ULTIMATE BACON CHEESEBURGER.

MAKE IT A LARGE.

YOU WANT THE SALAD, OR YOU JUST WANT THE CHICKEN FILLET?

I JUST WANT THE CHICKEN. OKAY.

I'M TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING HEALTHY,

BUT JAKE HASN'T TRIED AT ALL.

AND IT'S REALLY HARD.

HERE YOU GO.

I'M EATING A PIECE OF CHICKEN,

AND HE'S EATING, YOU KNOW, A HAMBURGER.

I WISH I HAD MORE OF HIS SUPPORT.

BUT WHEN I GOT IN THIS PROCESS,

I KNEW THAT IT WAS GONNA BE DIFFICULT.

AND I KNEW THAT I WAS GONNA HAVE TO HAVE THE WILLPOWER TO SAY,

YOU KNOW, AND THAT'S PROBABLY THE HARDEST PART,

IS FINDING SOMETHING THAT REPLACES

THE COMFORT THAT FOOD GIVES ME.

BABE, ARE THEY GONNA HOLD ME -- THESE STAIRS?

I DON'T KNOW. ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.

BUT I KNOW IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS.

HOO HOO. OH, NO, WE'RE GOOD.

AND IT'S ULTIMATELY UP TO ME.

[ SIGHS ]

I'VE WORKED SO HARD OVER THE LAST MONTH,

BUT 50 POUNDS WAS A LOT TO LOSE.

Woman: MRS. BRATCHER?

Ashley: AND I DON'T KNOW IF I'M ANYWHERE NEAR THAT RIGHT NOW.

BUT I NEED THIS SO BAD.

MY WEIGHT HAS GOTTEN SO OUT OF CONTROL.

WITHOUT THIS SURGERY, I'M JUST HOPELESS.

**

Ashley: I'M REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW.

DR. NOWZARADAN WANTED ME TO LOSE 50 POUNDS AND GET UNDER 675,

AND I HOPE I'VE DONE THAT.

I NEED THIS SURGERY MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.

Woman: 667.

Ashley: [ Chuckling ] I'M KIND OF IN SHOCK.

BUT I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW.

Jacob: CONGRATULATIONS.

[ Chuckling ] CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

IT'S A LOT.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING?

GOOD.

SO, YOU LOST SOME WEIGHT, HUH?

YES, SIR. 60 POUNDS.

AND YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE GONNA LOSE THAT, HUH?

NO. I WAS VERY HAPPY. [ CHUCKLES ]

WELL, THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S VERY GOOD.

I WAS VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HOW MUCH CHANGE ASHLEY

WOULD HAVE TO MAKE TO LOSE WEIGHT,

BUT SHE DID EXCELLENTLY.

THERE'S STILL A LOT OF CHANGES THAT THEY NEED TO MAKE

FOR THE DYNAMIC AT HOME,

BUT SHE SHOWED ME SHE'S READY RIGHT NOW FOR THE NEXT STEP.

I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AT THIS POINT

AND APPROVE YOU FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

SO, HOW DOES THAT SOUND TO YOU?

GOOD. [ CHUCKLES ]

YOU'RE EXCITED?

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL GET YOU FIXED UP.

SOUNDS GREAT. THANK YOU, DR. NOWZARADAN.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Dr. Nowzaradan: THERE'S STILL A LOT OF WORK

THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE,

AND THE NEXT FEW MONTHS IS GONNA BE VERY HARD

FOR ASHLEY TO ADOPT NEW HABITS.

BUT FOR NOW, SURGERY IS GOING TO HELP HER.

Ashley: BECAUSE I DID LOSE THE WEIGHT,

PLUS A LITTLE BIT MORE,

I THINK IT SHOWED HIM THAT I AM TAKING IT SERIOUS.

Patrick: MOMMY!

COME ON, LET'S GO.

WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY WILL CHANGE MY LIFE.

AND I'M JUST EXCITED TO SEE WHERE IT GOES.

[ BIRDS CHIRP ]

TOMORROW MORNING, I'M GOING IN FOR GASTRIC BYPASS.

I THINK I HAVE EVERYTHING. CLOTHES...

I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT HOW MUCH MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE.

MY MOM HAS COME DOWN TO HELP WATCH PATRICK

WHILE ME AND JAKE ARE AT THE HOSPITAL.

I RECENTLY LET HER BACK IN MY LIFE

BECAUSE SHE'S BEEN FREE OF HER ADDICTION FOR A WHILE NOW.

DRUG ADDICTION TOOK MY MOM FOR YEARS.

[ LAUGHS ]

BUT NOW THAT SHE'S GOTTEN HELP,

WE'VE STARTED OUR RELATIONSHIP AGAIN.

I LOVE YOU.

Stephanie: NOW THAT I'M BACK IN THEIR LIFE,

I'M TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR THE TIME THAT I MISSED WITH THEM.

AND I JUST WANTED TO BE HERE TO HELP WITH HER

AND HELP WITH MY GRANDSON.

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE SURGERY,

AND I'M PROBABLY MORE NERVOUS THAN YOU ARE.

I KNEW IT WAS MY FAULT THAT SHE HAD TURNED TO FOOD

BECAUSE I WAS NOT THERE.

Ashley: WE STILL HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT,

BUT RIGHT NOW, I SEE HER AS AN INSPIRATION

BECAUSE I FIGURE, IF SHE CAN BREAK FREE OF HER ADDICTION,

THEN SO CAN I.

[ SIGHS ]

**

I JUST HOPE I MAKE A LOT OF PROGRESS QUICKLY,

BECAUSE PATRICK IS STARTING SCHOOL NEXT MONTH,

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME,

I WON'T HAVE ANYONE AT HOME TO HELP ME,

AND THAT'S SCARY.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, IT'S GONNA HELP PUSH ME

TO MAKE PROGRESS BECAUSE I HAVE TO.

**

I LOVE YOU, MOMMY.

I LOVE YOU. BE GOOD.

Jacob: COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.

I LOVE YOU. I'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE BIT.

I LOVE YOU, PAT-PAT.

I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS NOW THAT THE DAY OF SURGERY IS HERE.

PATRICK KNOWS I'M SCARED, BUT AS HE GETS OLDER,

I HOPE HE'LL UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M DOING HERE TODAY

TO BE THERE WITH HIM.

BUT I KNOW ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG,

AND THAT TERRIFIES ME RIGHT NOW.

TAKE YOUR TIME.

BUT I'M JUST PRAYING IT'S ALL GONNA BE OKAY.

Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY WE'RE ATTEMPTING TO DO GASTRIC BYPASS ON ASHLEY.

BUT IT'S GONNA BE A VERY HARD SURGICAL PROCEDURE,

BECAUSE SHE IS EXTREMELY OBESE

AND WE HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL WITH HER

AND MAKE SURE NOTHING WE DO TODAY

PUSHES HER BODY OVER THE LIMIT DURING THE SURGERY.

WITH THE GASTRIC BYPASS,

WE DRASTICALLY REDUCE THE SIZE OF THE STOMACH

TO LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF FOOD

THAT PATIENT CAN EAT IN ONE SITTING.

WE ALSO WRAP THE INTESTINE

SO THEY CAN ABSORB LESS OF WHAT THEY EAT.

THERE IS ALL THE ANTICIPATION WE CAN LOSE WEIGHT QUICKLY.

IT'S VERY STRESSFUL, BUT WE'RE HERE TO SUPPORT ASHLEY.

THIS IS ABOUT HER FUTURE, HER HEALTH.

Jacob: I HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT ASHLEY HAVING THE SURGERY.

I KNOW THAT ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN BECAUSE OF HER SIZE.

IT'S NOT WORKING.

IF THAT DOESN'T WORK,

BYPASS MIGHT NOT BE POSSIBLE IN ASHLEY.

Dr. Nowzaradan: ASHLEY HAS A HUGE HERNIA

THAT'S MAKING THIS OPERATION NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO COMPLETE.

IF WE DON'T FIND AN ALTERNATIVE SOLUTION,

I HAVE TO CALL OFF THE BYPASS OPERATION.

AND THIS IS NOT GONNA BE POSSIBLE TO CLOSE.

UH, AND WE'RE GONNA OPEN UP.

YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

STILL VERY DIFFICULT TO MOVE AROUND,

BUT WE'RE ABLE TO DO BYPASS ON HER.

BUT WE FIND THAT SHE HAD A LARGE UMBILICAL HERNIA,

AND THAT WILL INCREASE HER RISK

OF BOWEL GETTING CAUGHT IN AFTER SURGERY.

SO WE OPENED UP AND FIXED HER HERNIA, TOO.

ALL RIGHT. WE'RE IN GOOD SHAPE.

IT WAS CHALLENGING TO DO THE CASE.

WE HAD TO DO EVERYTHING DIFFERENTLY,

BUT OVERALL, EVERYTHING WENT VERY WELL.

**

ASHLEY HAS A LOT TO RECOVER FROM OVER NEXT FEW DAYS,

BUT SURGERY WILL BE A BIG HELP FOR HER IN THE SHORT TERM

AS LONG AS SHE'S ABLE TO ADDRESS THE DYNAMIC AT HOME,

DOWN THE ROAD.

BUT WE NEED TO KEEP AN EYE ON HER FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS

TO MAKE SURE THAT SHE WILL NOT HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS

FROM SURGERY.

**

IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE MY SURGERY,

AND THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF CHANGES IN OUR LIVES.

IT'S BEEN HARD RECOVERING.

I WAS SO GLAD I WAS ABLE TO GET THE BYPASS

AND MAKE THE PROGRESS THAT I HAVE.

AND I'M ABLE TO START DOING MORE AROUND THE HOUSE.

SO PATRICK CAN JUST FOCUS ON STARTING SCHOOL

AND JUST BEING A KID.

PAT-PAT.

I ALWAYS DREADED THE DAY HE'D START SCHOOL,

BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WOULD BE ALONE

AND I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE.

BUT HE DESERVES NOT TO HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME.

COME ON.

YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME.

GO SEE YOUR DADDY.

Ashley: HE LOOKS CUTE TODAY, DOESN'T HE?

THIS IS A REALLY BIG MOMENT FOR ME

TO BE ABLE TO BE A PART OF IT AND NOT JUST BE ON THE SIDELINE.

JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO,

I WOULD HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO HELP HIM OR GO WITH HIM.

BUT NOW I HAVE THE ENERGY TO TAKE HIM TO SCHOOL.

YOU KNOW I'M GONNA MISS YOU?

COME ON.

I LOVE YOU. GOOD LUCK.

[ VEHICLE DOOR CLOSES ]

Ashley: IN THE FUTURE, I WANT TO BE ABLE TO GO TO THE CLASSROOM,

AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THE THINGS

THAT A MOM IS SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER KIDS.

BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M JUST THANKFUL

I'M ABLE TO BE A PART OF THIS DAY WITH HIM.

I STILL HAVE A LOT OF HURDLES I GOT TO GET OVER,

BUT JUST THIS LITTLE BIT OF WEIGHT THAT I'VE LOST,

I ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE I CAN LIVE AGAIN.

THE CRAVINGS HAVE BEEN COMING BACK,

BUT I'VE JUST BEEN FOCUSING

ON TRYING TO AVOID FOOD THAT I SHOULDN'T EAT.

I'M JUST GONNA PUSH MYSELF TO DO A LITTLE MORE EACH DAY

AND NOT GIVE IN TO ANYTHING THAT'S GONNA HURT ME.

THIS IS ALL VERY NEW FOR ME.

THESE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS,

I'VE BEEN PUSHING MYSELF TO DO MORE.

RIGHT NOW, I'M TRYING TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TWO YEARS.

BUT I'M A LITTLE SCARED BEING IN THERE AROUND ALL THAT FOOD.

I'VE BEEN MAKING HEALTHY CHOICES,

BUT IT'S GETTING TOUGHER.

I TURNED TO FOOD FOR ALL MY EMOTIONS.

NOW THAT'S NOT AN OPTION ANYMORE.

SO MY ANXIETY LEVELS ARE THROUGH THE ROOF.

I GET OVERWHELMED.

MY HEART STARTS RACING,

AND I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING A PANIC ATTACK OR SOMETHING.

I JUST HAVE TO HAVE A MINUTE TO MYSELF.

BUT I'M MAKING MYSELF DO THIS ANYWAY

BECAUSE IT'S A FEAR I NEED TO GET OVER.

I GOT THIS. I CAN DO THIS.

I MEAN, I'M PROUD OF THE WEIGHT THAT I'VE LOST ALREADY,

BUT I SEE ALL THE THINGS THAT I USED TO ENJOY EATING,

AND IT IS A REMINDER OF WHAT MY LIFE USED TO BE ABOUT.

AND IT'S STILL REALLY HARD FOR ME.

I'M NOT USED TO FEELING THIS WAY.

AND JAKE AND MY MOM ARE STILL EATING THINGS THAT I CAN'T,

AND IT'S JUST HARD BEING AROUND FOOD THAT I CAN'T EAT

AND NOT START TO GIVE IN.

IT'S GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO COPE.

BUT I CAN'T GO BACK TO THE WAY I WAS...

AND FAIL AT THIS.

**

[ RETCHING, COUGHING ]

Dr. Nowzaradan: RIGHT NOW, I'M TAKING ASHLEY TO EMERGENCY SURGERY.

TALKING TO HER HUSBAND,

IT SEEMS LIKE SHE'S BEEN DEALING WITH A LOT OF ANXIETY

NOW THAT HER EATING HABIT IS LIMITED.

AND AS A RESULT, SHE MAY BE ABUSING HER PAIN MEDICATION.

AND THIS COULD BE A LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION

FOR HER RIGHT NOW.

WE CAN TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF.

**

Dr. Nowzaradan: ASHLEY IS IN A LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION.

SHE HAS DEVELOPED A PERFORATED ULCER,

AND HER STOMACH IS SPILLING GASTRIC FLUID

IN HER ABDOMINAL CAVITY.

WE'RE ATTEMPTING TO REPAIR IT RIGHT NOW.

Jacob: RIGHT NOW, ASHLEY IS NOT DOING TOO GOOD,

AND WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT IF SHE'S GONNA SURVIVE OR NOT.

Dr. Nowzaradan: ALL RIGHT.

BUT SHE'S FAR FROM BEING OUT OF THE WOODS.

GO FORWARD.

GO AHEAD AND CLOSE HER UP.

WE HAVE HER STABLE NOW,

BUT SHE'LL BE IN CRITICAL CONDITION

FOR THE NEXT 72 HOURS BEFORE WE KNOW HOW SHE'S DOING.

IT WILL TAKE HER A MONTH OR TWO TO FULLY RECOVER

TO BE ABLE TO GO BACK HOME.

IT'S GOING TO BE HARD FOR HER.

BUT ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS SHE NEEDS TO DO

AFTER LEAVING THE HOSPITAL IS GO SEE A THERAPIST.

SHE USES SELF-DESTRUCTIVE WAYS TO COPE WITH HER EMOTIONS,

AND THAT HAS TO STOP IMMEDIATELY.

I'VE BEEN IN A HOSPITAL RECOVERING FOR SIX WEEKS NOW.

ASHLEY, ARE WE GOING TO TRY TO STAND UP?

DR. NOW TOLD ME I WAS TAKING TOO MUCH PAIN MEDICINE.

AND THAT DID A LOT OF DAMAGE TO MY STOMACH.

AND NOW I'M BACK IN THE HOSPITAL,

AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.

THEY HAD TO OPEN ME UP,

SO IT HURTS TO WALK RIGHT NOW.

IT'S JUST HARD BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'VE MADE SO MUCH PROGRESS,

AND IT'S JUST WASTED NOW.

BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE.

AND I HAVE TO WORK UP ALL MY STRENGTH TO WALK AGAIN.

I'M JUST SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW...

AND ANGRY.

[ WHIMPERS ]

THERE YOU GO. GOOD JOB.

I DON'T WANT TO WALK.

NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WALK.

I CAN'T MOVE. IT'S GONNA GO.

OKAY. COME ON.

GO AHEAD AND SIT.

SIT DOWN.

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO DO THIS ALL AGAIN.

GOOD JOB! GOOD JOB!

AND THE DOC SAID I NEED TO SEE A THERAPIST

AS SOON AS I'M ABLE TO GET AROUND AGAIN.

I KNOW I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE,

BUT I'M SCARED THAT IT'S NOT GONNA HELP...

NOT TODAY, OKAY?

THANK Y'ALL. BYE-BYE.

...AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO RETURN TO FOOD AT SOME POINT.

IT WAS A LONG RECOVERY IN THE HOSPITAL,

BUT I'M ABLE TO WALK SOME WITH A WALKER RIGHT NOW.

SO DR. NOWZARADAN DISCHARGED ME

AND IS SENDING ME TO SEE A THERAPIST.

I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS BECAUSE I KNOW

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO HELP ME FIND HEALTHY WAYS

TO COPE WITH MY EMOTIONS.

BUT WHAT IF I CAN'T?

I'M JUST SCARED THAT NOTHING IS GONNA BE ABLE

TO HELP ME COPE LIKE FOOD HAS.

I'M ASHLEY.

I'M SANTHI. I'M SORRY.

DR. PERIASAMY.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF

AND KIND OF WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE TODAY.

I AM GOING THROUGH A PROCESS FOR MAJOR WEIGHT LOSS.

TELL ME WHAT LED YOU TO THIS POINT IN YOUR LIFE.

I WAS A PRODUCT OF SEXUAL ABUSE.

I WAS SCARED TO TELL ANYBODY.

OKAY.

AND I WENT ALONG WITH IT

BECAUSE I HAD A LITTLE SISTER

AND I HAD A LITTLE BROTHER TO PROTECT,

SO I WAS PROTECTING MY SISTER FROM THE BASTARD.

SURE.

[ Voice breaking ] AND HE DIDN'T TOUCH HER,

SO I DID PROTECT HER, IN A WAY.

THAT KIND OF FELT LIKE YOU SACRIFICED YOURSELF

TO PROTECT HER.

THAT'S A LOT TO HOLD AND CARRY ALL BY YOURSELF.

I TURNED TO FOOD FOR COMFORT.

FOOD ALMOST KILLED ME.

IT'S NOT MY COMFORT ANYMORE.

I'M HAVING A HARD TIME FINDING THAT COMFORT.

WHEN PEOPLE ARE LOSING KIND OF FOOD AS A COPING MECHANISM,

WHAT YOU END UP FINDING IS YOU GET A FLOOD OF EMOTION.

SOMETIMES IF WE CAN GET TO THE ROOT OF WHERE ANXIETY IS,

THEN WE CAN KIND OF FIGURE OUT HOW TO COPE.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE JOURNAL, SOMETIMES THEY CREATE SOMETHING.

JUST TRACKING EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS

CAN SOMETIMES BE HELPFUL.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, IT WAS SO NICE TO MEET YOU.

IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO?

AND I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU AGAIN, OKAY?

THANK YOU.

Ashley: I'VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME

AVOIDING FEELING MUCH OF ANYTHING.

YOU CAN'T JUST CHANGE THAT IN AN INSTANT.

AND I'M SCARED I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO.

ALL I KNOW IS FOOD.

AND IT'S GONNA BE SO HARD NOT TO GO BACK TO IT

IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THIS.

**

I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD THIS PAST MONTH

TO WALK AS MUCH AS I CAN.

AND I'M ABLE TO WALK AROUND A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME

WITHOUT THE WALKER.

I'M ALSO TRYING TO DEAL WITH MY EMOTIONS WHEN I HAVE THEM,

INSTEAD OF RUNNING FROM THEM.

IT'S NOT EASY.

HEY, BABY.

BUT I'M TRYING NEW THINGS EACH DAY TO WORK THROUGH HOW I FEEL,

INSTEAD OF AVOIDING IT UNTIL I GET OVERWHELMED.

THANK YOU, BABY.

I WANT TO DO MORE WITH PATRICK.

HE LOVES GOING FISHING WITH HIS DAD,

AND HE ALWAYS WANTS ME TO GO WITH HIM.

I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO,

SO MY GOAL IS TO NOT ONLY LOSE 225 POUNDS

BY MY NEXT CHECKUP

BUT TO SURPRISE THEM BY GOING FISHING.

OVER THE LAST FEW WEEKS,

I HAD A TALK WITH JAKE AND MY MOM

ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO BE AROUND THE FOOD THEY EAT.

THEY UNDERSTOOD A LOT MORE THAN I THOUGHT,

AND I WISH I HADN'T WAITED SO LONG TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT.

Jacob: WE'RE TRYING TO INCORPORATE SOME VEGETABLES

INTO OUR DIET IN DIFFERENT THINGS.

VEGETABLES AREN'T MY FAVORITE,

BUT I'M TRYING TO INCORPORATE THEM IN THERE

BECAUSE ASHLEY HAS WORKED SO HARD.

I LOVE HER, AND I'M DOING THIS FOR HER.

-SO, IS SQUASH... -GOOD.

Ashley: I'M JUST SO THANKFUL MY FAMILY IS COMMITTED TO THIS WITH ME,

BECAUSE I KNOW I COULDN'T KEEP DOING THIS ON MY OWN.

**

I KNOW I'VE BEEN MAKING GOOD PROGRESS,

AND I'M EXCITED TO SEE IF I HIT MY GOAL OF LOSING 225 POUNDS.

Woman: 470.

[ LAUGHS ]

SO, YOU'RE DOWN TO 255 POUNDS.

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOSE ALL THAT WEIGHT?

CRAZY. IT'S AMAZING.

IT'S BEEN A HARD ROAD,

BUT I THINK, OVERALL, YOU'RE DOING VERY WELL.

ASHLEY HAS MADE GREAT PROGRESS,

AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING HER HIT HER GOAL WEIGHT

IN THE NEXT YEAR OR SO.

Ashley: I AM SO GLAD FOR THIS PAST YEAR.

NOW I CAN BE A PART OF MY FAMILY AND GIVE BACK TO THEM,

INSTEAD OF THEM JUST TAKING CARE OF ME.

I SURPRISED PATRICK THIS MORNING

AND TOLD HIM THAT I'M GOING WITH HIM AND JAKE

ON THEIR FISHING TRIP THIS TIME.

AND IT WAS SO WONDERFUL TO SEE HIM LIGHT UP WITH EXCITEMENT.

I'M DOING THINGS NOW THAT I HAVEN'T DONE IN FOREVER.

[ LAUGHS ]

GET HIM. AAH!

Jacob: FEELS REALLY GOOD TO BE ABLE

TO GO AND DO THINGS AS A FAMILY TOGETHER.

THIS SURGERY HAS DONE A LOT FOR HER.

SHE'S MORE HAPPY THAN SHE'S BEEN IN A REALLY LONG TIME.

I'M HAVING A BUNCH OF FUN CATCHING FISH WITH MY MOMMY.

NOW THAT SHE'S LOSING WEIGHT,

WE CAN GO TO AQUARIUMS TOGETHER AND TO THE ZOO.

I LOVE MY MOM BUNCHES AND BUNCHES.

Ashley: IT'S JOYFUL FOR ME TO SEE PATRICK HAVE A GOOD TIME.

I AM A BIG PART OF MY FAMILY NOW.

FOR THAT, I'M GRATEFUL.

AND I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING TO LOSE THAT EVER AGAIN.