Original subtitles

Susan: I DON'T LIKE LOOKING AT MYSELF.

[ Voice breaking ] ALL I SEE IS A FAT GLOB.

I AM LIVING A NIGHTMARE.

I WOULDN'T WISH THIS ON MY WORST ENEMY.

I HATE THIS LIFE THAT I HAVE.

DON'T YOU DARE PUT IT ALL OFF ON ME!

SHE IS GOING TO DIE, PERIOD.

MOM, JUST STOP!

Dr. Nowzaradan: WE GOT TO CORRECT THIS PROBLEM.

OTHERWISE, SURGERY WOULD NOT BE USEFUL FOR YOU.

[ Voice breaking ] I CAN'T DO THIS

WITHOUT SOMEBODY TO HELP ME SAY "NO."

Dr. Nowzaradan: WE'RE NOT 100% SURE WHAT'S WRONG,

BUT SHE MAY END UP PARALYZED.

[ Voice breaking ] IT SCARES THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF ME!

-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

Susan: IT'S A LOT HARDER TO CHANGE THAN YOU EVER REALIZED.

YOU JUST HAVE TO HOPE IT'S NOT TOO LATE

AND TRY AS HARD AS YOU CAN TO DO IT.

[ MATTRESS CREAKING ]

LIFE IS MISERABLE.

I HURT ALL THE TIME, SO I DON'T GET UP MUCH.

WITH ME HAVING THIS BIG STOMACH, IT PULLS ON ME SO BAD,

AND IT FEELS LIKE MY SKIN IS ON FIRE

AND IT'S JUST GONNA MELT.

I HAVE TROUBLE BREATHING, ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M WALKING.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

I HAVE TO TAKE BABY STEPS BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF FALLING.

[ COUGHS ]

AND IF I FELL, THERE'S NOTHING ANYBODY COULD DO FOR ME.

I DON'T LIKE LOOKING AT MYSELF,

SO I DON'T LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR.

[ WATER RUNNING ]

TO ME, I'M FAT AND UGLY.

[ Voice breaking ] ALL I SEE IS A FAT GLOB.

[ SNIFFLES ]

I'M JUST DISGUSTED OF THE WAY I LOOK.

I HATE MYSELF.

MY WEIGHT IS GETTING TO A POINT

WHERE I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF ANYMORE.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

I LIVE WITH MY MOTHER,

AND SHE HAS TO TAKE CARE OF ME MOST OF THE TIME.

[ Breathlessly ] OKAY. I NEED YOU TO PUT THOSE ON.

Nita: SUSAN'S ALWAYS BEEN MY BABY.

SHE'S NEVER LIVED ON HER OWN.

SHE'S ALWAYS LIVED WITH ME.

AND I'VE ALWAYS HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HER.

YOU GOT YOUR SHOES?

GROWING UP, SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN OVERWEIGHT.

I KEPT THINKING AS SHE GOT OLDER,

SHE WOULD LOSE IT.

BUT SHE DIDN'T.

SHE JUST KEPT ON AND KEPT ON AND JUST GOT BIGGER.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

I WOULD JUST EAT.

I DON'T KNOW IF I WAS EATING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

I JUST ATE 'CAUSE THE FOOD WAS THERE.

Nita: WHEN SUSAN WAS ABOUT 4 OR 5,

ME AND HER DAD STARTED FIGHTING A LOT.

HE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC.

HE WOULD COME HOME DRUNK, AND SOMEBODY WAS GONNA GET HIT.

IT WAS EITHER ME OR SUSAN.

Stephanie: I THINK THAT SUSAN WAS UNHAPPY GROWING UP.

SHE PROBABLY WANTED MORE FROM MY DAD THAN WHAT SHE GOT.

Nita: WHEN SUSAN WOULD GET UPSET,

I WOULD GO TO THE STORE.

IF SHE WANTED ICE CREAM OR IF SHE WANTED CANDY,

I'D GO BUY IT FOR HER.

FOOD WAS HER COMFORT.

THAT WAS HER WAY OF ESCAPING.

Susan: AS I GOT OLDER,

I JUST STARTED PUTTING ON WEIGHT.

BUT IT ALL GOT WORSE WHEN I WAS 17.

Nita: HER DAD WAS DRUNK.

[ SNIFFLES ]

AND HE STARTED YELLING AND SCREAMING AT ME.

HE GOT HIS RIFLE.

SUSAN AND STEPHANIE GOT IN THE MIDDLE AND TOLD HIM,

"DAD, IF YOU SHOOT, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SHOOT ME."

[ SOBS ]

[ Voice breaking ] SO HE PUT THE GUN DOWN, AND HE LEFT.

THAT'S WHEN I WENT AHEAD AND FILED FOR DIVORCE.

Susan: WHEN MY PARENTS DIVORCED, IT WAS HARD.

AND [SIGHS] I DID START PUTTING ON MORE WEIGHT.

Stephanie: THAT HURT SUSAN

WORSE THAN PROBABLY ANYTHING HAS EVER HURT HER.

IT WAS ABSOLUTELY A BREAKING POINT FOR HER.

I NEED TWO BURGERS,

AND THEN A SPICY CHICKEN SANDWICH.

Woman: OKAY. A REGULAR FRY.

IT'S BEEN OVER 20 YEARS,

AND SHE HAS JUST BEEN ANGRY -- ANGRY AT THE WORLD.

THANK YOU.

CAN I ASK WHY IT WAS SO LONG?

I'M SORRY?

CAN I ASK WHY IT WAS SO LONG?

'CAUSE YOU HAVE OTHER PEOPLE BEHIND THERE.

[ HORN HONKS ]

ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

UNBELIEVABLE.

[ LAUGHS ]

Susan: WHEN MY DAD LEFT MY MOM...

I WAS MAD, AND I WAS...HURT.

[ Voice breaking ] I WAS SAD.

NOW I THINK I AM USING FOOD TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

Nita: SUSAN STARTED PUTTING ON WEIGHT,

AND SHE JUST HASN'T STOPPED.

SHE JUST KEEPS GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER.

Stephanie: EVERY DAY HAS GOTTEN A LITTLE BIT WORSE.

I FEEL LIKE, EVEN NOW, SHE'S JUST WAITING.

MAYBE THEY'LL GET BACK TOGETHER.

MAYBE, YOU KNOW, SHE'LL HAVE HER FAMILY BACK.

SOMETIMES, I LOOK AT HER LIKE SHE'S LIVING LIKE A KID

BECAUSE SHE HAS NOT MOVED PAST THAT.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

Stephanie: IT'S ALMOST LIKE

SHE STOPPED LIVING HER LIFE AT THAT POINT.

[ Voice breaking ] I'M AFRAID THAT,

IF SUSAN DOESN'T GET SOME HELP,

SHE'S NOT GONNA BE WITH US AND SHE'S GONNA DIE.

YOU NEED HELP? MNH-MNH.

Susan: I DON'T LIKE GOING OUT MUCH ANYMORE.

I ONLY GO OUT TO GET FOOD OR IF I HAVE TO.

AND I CAN ONLY WALK ENOUGH

TO GET TO THE NEXT PLACE AND SIT DOWN.

DO Y'ALL HAVE AN ELECTRIC CART?

[ Voice breaking ] I CANNOT WALK AROUND THIS DAMN STORE.

IT GOT TO SIT DOWN. I'M SORRY.

[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

[ CRYING ]

Susan: I GOT TO HAVE SOMEWHERE TO SIT DOWN.

IF NOT, I JUST -- I START PANICKING...

[ HYPERVENTILATING ]

...BECAUSE MY KNEES AND MY BACK WILL GIVE OUT.

IF YOU HOLD ON TO THE BASKET, JUST TRY A LITTLE.

[ SOBS ]

I CANNOT WALK AROUND THIS [BLEEP] STORE.

I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW.

[ SOBS ]

I CAN'T DO IT.

WHAT IF I COME UP HERE AND GET YOU A CHAIR?

THAT WAY, IF WE NEED IT,

WE CAN JUST PULL IT OUT AND YOU CAN SIT THERE.

OKAY?

WILL THAT BE BETTER? YEAH.

HOW ABOUT THAT?

WHAT KIND OF CAKE DO YOU WANT?

YOU WANT THOSE?

Stephanie: SUSAN AND MY MOM,

THEY'RE VERY CLOSE, AND THEY'VE GOT EACH OTHER.

NACHO?

YEAH.

MY MOM IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN SUSAN'S LIFE.

SHE IS ALSO THE BIGGEST ENABLER.

[ Breathlessly ] I NEED TO S--

SIT DOWN.

YOU WANTED THE OATMEAL?

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TELL HER "NO."

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HURT HER. THAT'S HER BABY GIRL.

BUT IT'S KILLING HER.

AND SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE.

AND I KNOW THAT, AT THIS POINT,

EVERY PLATE OF FOOD THAT WE HAND HER IS POISON.

YOU'LL HAVE TO SIT THAT BACK, MOM.

Nita: I WILL.

GET THAT IN.

MY MOM IS GONNA HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO HELP HER THE MOST.

AND RIGHT NOW, THAT'S NOT HAPPENING.

[ GRUNTS ]

Nita: [ Voice breaking ] I DO FEEL GUILTY

ABOUT HOW SHE WAS RAISED

AND WHAT I FELT LIKE I DID TO HER.

SO I TRY TO GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS.

Susan: I WANT TO MAKE MY FAMILY PROUD.

I DON'T WANT THEM TO FEEL LIKE I'M A BURDEN

AND THEY HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME.

I'M JUST MORE DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF RIGHT NOW

BECAUSE I'VE LET MYSELF GET TO THIS POINT.

I'M GONNA MAKE THOSE DUCK NOODLES.

IS THAT OKAY? YEAH.

I AM AFRAID OF DYING.

I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO GET MYSELF BETTER

BECAUSE I KNOW I'M KILLING MYSELF.

[ Voice breaking ] I DON'T WANT TO DIE.

Susan: WHEN YOU'RE AT A PLACE IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU HATE,

YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH HOW YOU GOT THERE TO CHANGE IT.

MY WORST FEAR IS GOING TO HIM

AND HE'S NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO HELP ME AT ALL.

AND I NEED HELP.

I'M VERY SCARED ABOUT WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY.

[ TURN SIGNAL CLICKING ]

I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS WHAT THE SCALE'S GONNA SAY.

[ GRUNTS ]

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WEIGH.

Woman: MS. FARMER?

AND I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN STAND LONG ENOUGH

TO GET MY WEIGHT ON THE SCALE.

[ GRUNTING ]

I NEED [CHUCKLES]

[ GRUNTS ]

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

[ Gasping ] MY LEGS... ARE GONNA GIVE...

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

Susan: I DIDN'T KNOW I GAINED SO MUCH.

[ KNOCKS ON DOOR ]

HELLO. I'M DR. NOWZARADAN.

I'M SUSAN. NICE TO MEET YOU.

AND SO, YOU WEIGHED HOW MUCH? 600 POUNDS.

SO, YOUR SIZE IS HANDICAPPING YOU QUITE A BIT.

YES, SIR. OKAY.

AND WE'RE GONNA DO SOME TESTS TODAY

AND SEE WHERE YOU STAND WITH YOUR GENERAL HEALTH,

AND THEN DECIDE WHAT'S GONNA BE YOUR RISK FACTOR, OKAY?

OKAY.

NOW, THIS SKIN --

IS THERE ANY WAY I CAN TAKE A LOOK AT IT?

YEAH.

UM...

[ Strained voice ] I WANT TO...LIFT THIS UP.

YOU GOT SOME INFECTION. ALL RIGHT.

WE GOT -- WE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO TO GET YOU WELL.

OKAY.

RIGHT NOW, I'M CONCERNED

THAT SURGERY IS TOO MUCH FOR HER BODY TO HANDLE.

SOMETHING MINOR CAN PUSH HER BODY OVER,

AND SHE CAN DIE.

WE HAVE TO GET TO THE POINT

THAT SURGERY IS GONNA BE A SAFE THING TO DO.

WHO LIVES WITH YOU?

I LIVE WITH MY MOM. OKAY.

SO, WE HAVE TO GET MOM TO SORT OF WATCH YOU, HUH?

ARE YOU A GOOD WATCHER, OR ARE YOU AN ENABLER?

I'VE BEEN AN ENABLER.

I FIGURED THAT OUT.

YOU SHORTENED HER LIFE, AND THAT'S NOT LOVE.

I'M GOING TO NEED SUSAN TO DO SOMETHING DRASTIC.

SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO LOSE A GREAT AMOUNT OF WEIGHT.

NEED TO GET HER INFECTION UNDER CONTROL.

HER DIET SHOULD CONSIST OF ZERO CARB, ZERO FAT,

AND PROTEIN AND SOME FIBER.

WHEN I WANT TO DO IS SEE YOU IN A COUPLE MONTHS

AND SEE WHAT THE DIET IS DOING FOR YOU.

SO, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO LOSE 100 POUNDS

BEFORE WE CAN DO YOUR SURGERY.

[ Voice breaking ] I'M WILLING TO DO ANYTHING.

ALL RIGHT, LET ME SOME GET SOME TESTS DONE,

AND WE'LL COME BACK AND TALK TO YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

IT IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HER.

IT'S CLEAR THAT HER MOTHER IS ENABLING HER LIFE.

SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE THE SITUATION

IF SHE'S GOING TO SUCCEED.

SHE'S SCARED. SHE JUST IS SCARED.

IT'S HARD TO HEAR.

IT'S NOT THAT -- YEAH, IT'S HARD TO HEAR.

BUT IT'S HARD TO JUST...

PUT IT DOWN AND QUIT LIKE IT AIN'T NOTHING.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND-SET, TOO,

OR THIS WON'T WORK FOR HER.

[ Voice breaking ] IF SHE'S GONNA LIVE WITH YOU

AND YOU DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND-SET,

SHE'S GOING TO DIE, PERIOD!

PERIOD!

ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH! STOP!

I'M NOT SAYING THAT I'M NOT.

BUT DO YOU THINK I'M GONNA BUY HER ANYTHING ELSE?

DON'T PUT IT ALL ON ME. DON'T YOU DARE.

OH, MY GOD. MOM, ENOUGH.

YOU'RE NOT LISTENING.

YOUR ATTITUDE IS AS IMPORTANT AS HERS.

YOU HAVE TO THINK DIFFERENTLY.

I'LL BE THERE FOR HER BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT.

NO!

DON'T MAKE ME OUT TO BE THE VILLAIN!

BOTH OF YOU, STOP! JUST STOP!

I'M NOT GONNA DO THIS.

[ SOBBING ]

Susan: THE DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT LAST MONTH WAS A WAKE-UP CALL.

I'VE BEEN STICKING TO THE DIET THAT HE'S GIVEN ME,

BUT IT'S HARD.

I DO WANT TO GO GET A BURGER OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT,

BUT I JUST GOT TO STAY DISCIPLINED.

REFRIGERATOR -- IT'S KIND OF BARE.

IT'S GOT YOGURTS FOR MY BREAKFAST.

WE GOT EGGS.

I KNEW THIS PROCESS WAS GONNA BE HARD,

BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS GONNA BE THIS HARD.

[ Voice breaking ] I'VE GIVEN UP A LOT OF THINGS...

[SOBS]

...THAT'S NORMAL TO ME.

I WANT TO EAT WHAT I CRAVE,

BUT I'M NOT GIVING IN RIGHT NOW.

I'VE JUST GOT TO LEARN HOW TO RESIST IT

BECAUSE I CAN'T STAY THIS WAY.

I TOLD THE DOCTOR I WOULD DO ANYTHING, AND I AM.

SO I'VE BEEN WALKING A LITTLE BIT MORE EACH DAY.

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I'VE BEEN ABLE TO WALK THIS FAR.

BUT THE HARDEST CHANGE HAS BEEN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOM.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE TO GIVE ME WHAT I WANT,

AND WE BOTH KNOW IT'S KILLING ME.

IF YOU NEED TO LEAN ON ME, LEAN ON ME.

I WASN'T SURE IF WE WOULD BE ABLE TO CHANGE THAT

ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP.

BUT MY MOM HASN'T BROUGHT ME ANYTHING BAD,

AND SHE'S BEEN A SUPPORT TO ME OVER THE LAST MONTH.

I GOT TO SIT DOWN FOR A MINUTE ON THE STEPS.

SIT DOWN.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

SURGERY'S MY ONLY HOPE.

AND IT'S MY MOTIVATION RIGHT NOW...

SEE? YOU DID IT. YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF?

YEAH. OKAY.

...BECAUSE IT MEANS I GET TO LIVE

AND THAT I CAN HAVE A CHANCE AT A NORMAL LIFE.

I DO WANT TO MAKE MY FAMILY PROUD,

AND I DON'T WANT THEM TO FEEL LIKE I'M A BURDEN.

NOTHING'S GONNA STOP ME FROM DOING THIS.

IT'S BEEN A FEW MONTHS,

AND WE'RE GOING TO DR. NOWZARADAN'S OFFICE

FOR A FOLLOW-UP VISIT.

HOPEFULLY GET SOME GOOD NEWS.

I KNOW I'M STILL TOO BIG FOR A REGULAR SCALE,

SO I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO CHECK MY WEIGHT.

Woman: MS. FARMER.

I JUST HOPE I'VE LOST ENOUGH WEIGHT

TO BE APPROVED FOR THE SURGERY.

OH, MY GOSH.

I'M SO EXCITED.

I'VE COME SO FAR,

AND I WANT THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING.

I'M HOPING TO GET GOOD NEWS.

HELLO.

Susan: HELLO.

SO, YOU LOST 150 POUNDS.

YEP.

CAN YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE?

YEAH. A LITTLE BIT. [ LAUGHS ]

Dr. Nowzaradan: SUSAN HAS DONE VERY WELL.

SHE HAS EXCEEDED MY EXPECTATION.

HOW'S THE HANGING SKIN ON THE LOWER ABDOMEN?

THE SORES ARE HEALING, SO...

MM.

HER SKIN INFECTION HAS GOT BETTER,

SO THINK SHE DEFINITELY IS READY FOR SURGERY.

YOU HAVE DONE VERY WELL,

AND SO I'M GOING TO APPROVE YOU FOR SURGERY.

YES! OKAY.

YOU EXCITED? YES, SIR.

ALL RIGHT, SUPER.

Susan: I'VE DREAMED OF GETTING THIS HELP.

I'M SO EXCITED THIS IS HAPPENING.

THIS MEANS I HAVE A CHANCE OF HAVING A NORMAL LIFE.

AND I CAN'T WAIT.

I COULDN'T SLEEP AT ALL LAST NIGHT.

THIS IS THE BIGGEST THING I'VE EVER DONE FOR MYSELF.

I KNOW I'M A GROWN ADULT,

BUT I'M STILL JUST -- I'M JUST SCARED.

[ CRYING ]

SHH.

THIS IS THE WORST PART.

YEAH.

I LOVE YOU.

Nita: SHE'LL BE OKAY.

I'M JUST DOING A LOT OF PRAYING THAT EVERYTHING'S OKAY.

Susan: THIS IS A LOT SCARIER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

I'M TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW.

I KNOW THIS IS MY LAST HOPE TO BECOME NORMAL.

Dr. Nowzaradan: PATIENTS THIS SIZE

ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO PUT TO SLEEP

BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE HAVE DIFFICULTY BREATHING.

Dr. Nowzaradan: SUSAN IS HAVING HER WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY TODAY.

GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY IS AN OPERATION

THAT REDUCES THE STOMACH TO A MUCH SMALLER SIZE.

OKAY. THAT SECTION.

BY DOING THAT,

THE PATIENT WILL BE ABLE TO EAT A SMALL AMOUNT

AND GET FULL REAL QUICK.

SO THEY'RE ABLE TO EAT LESS AND THEY'RE NOT HUNGRY,

AND THEIR FOOD OBSESSION SHOULD GO AWAY.

YOU CAN TURN THE ROOM LIGHT ON.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ALL.

SUSAN'S SURGERY WENT VERY WELL.

IT WAS A LITTLE BIT CHALLENGING BECAUSE OF HER SIZE,

BUT EVERYTHING WENT FINE.

DON'T MOVE, THOUGH. YOU'RE STILL IN --

[ GROWLS ] SUSAN, RELAX.

TOMORROW, WE START HER ON A LIQUID DIET.

WE'RE GONNA KEEP HER ABOUT THREE OR FOUR DAYS,

MAKE SURE EVERYTHING'S OKAY.

I THINK SHE CAN LOSE 30 TO 40 POUNDS THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS

IF SHE KEEPS UP THE ACTIVITY.

GOT TO RELAX, OKAY?

SHE HAS TO STAY MOTIVATED AND ACTIVE TO KEEP MAKING PROGRESS.

DEEP BREATH.

[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]

Nita: READY TO GO SEE WHAT IT SAYS?

Susan: YEAH.

SINCE SURGERY,

IT'S BEEN A LOT HARDER TO GET UP AND MOVE AROUND.

IT HURTS SO BAD JUST GOING A SHORT DISTANCE.

I NEED YOU OVER HERE.

BUT I'M HOPING FOR SOME WEIGHT LOSS TODAY.

I'M JUST -- I'M SCARED.

GAIN'S NEVER A GOOD THING.

Woman: MS. FARMER?

OKAY.

WITH HOW HARD IT'S BEEN TO EXERCISE,

I'M HAPPY WITH THAT LOSS.

HELLO. HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY? GOOD.

SO, YOU LOST A LITTLE BIT MORE WEIGHT.

NOT AS MUCH AS I WAS HOPING,

BUT YOU'RE GOING THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

ANY SHORTNESS OF BREATH OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

YEAH. WHEN I WAS WALKING IN HERE,

I FELT LIKE MY LEGS WERE GONNA GIVE OUT.

MM-HMM.

BUT I HAVEN'T EXERCISED AS MUCH AS I LIKE.

Dr. Nowzaradan: SUSAN'S DECREASE IN ACTIVITY IS A SMALL CONCERN.

THERE IS NO REASON FOR HER TO HAVE LESS ENERGY.

IT MAY BE IN HER HEAD OR MAY BE SOMETHING ELSE.

HAVE TO KEEP AN EYE ON HER AND SEE.

FOCUS ON BEING ACTIVE.

IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEM, LET ME KNOW.

OKAY.

[ GRUNTS ]

Susan: I JUST NEED TO GO HOME, REST,

AND SEE IF I CAN GET MY STRENGTH BACK.

YOU FEEL BETTER NOW?

YEAH.

I CAN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF GOING BACK TO WHERE I WAS.

NEED ME TO HELP YOU GET DOWN?

NO.

SO I KNOW I CAN DO THIS.

Nita: SUSAN?

YEAH.

YOU READY TO GET UP AND GET READY?

YEAH.

Susan: THIS PAST MONTH

HASN'T BEEN GOING AS WELL AS I WISH IT HAD.

I'VE BEEN HAVING TROUBLE WALKING,

AND IT'S GETTING WORSE.

IT'S JUST HARD TO DO IT RIGHT NOW,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

YOU THINK IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT WALKING AS MUCH?

YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE IT.

Susan: IT'S ALMOST LIKE IT WAS BEFORE I LOST THE WEIGHT,

AND THAT SCARES ME.

I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT IS OR WHAT'S GOING ON.

I KNOW I HAVE TO FIGURE THIS OUT,

OR I'LL START GAINING THE WEIGHT AGAIN.

THIS MORNING, I JUST FELL TO THE GROUND.

IT JUST HAPPENED ALL OF A SUDDEN.

I COULDN'T GET THE STRENGTH TO GET UP,

AND I HAD TO CRAWL AND HAVE MY MOM HELP ME GET INTO BED.

Nita: SHE COULDN'T STAND.

SHE SAID SHE COULDN'T FEEL ANYTHING IN HER LEGS.

HER LEGS HAVE BEEN GOING NUMB.

HI, SUSAN. HOW YOU DOING?

HELLO.

HOW YOU FEEL?

I FEEL OKAY,

EXCEPT FOR I JUST DON'T HAVE STRENGTH IN MY LEGS.

LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR LEG, SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.

IT FEELS NUMB.

FEEL NUMB? YEAH.

CAN YOU RAISE YOUR LEG UP?

OKAY.

WE'RE NOT 100% SURE WHAT'S WRONG WITH SUSAN,

BUT I'VE CALLED A SPECIALIST TO SEE HER.

WE'RE GONNA SEE WHAT THE NEUROLOGIST SAYS

AFTER EXAMINING YOU, OKAY?

IF IT IS WHAT I'M CONCERNED IT MAY BE,

WE NEED TO TREAT IT IMMEDIATELY OR SHE MAY END UP PARALYZED.

[ CRYING ]

ARE YOU OKAY?

[ Sobbing] IT SCARES ME NOT TO BE ABLE TO BE MOVING AROUND.

BUT YOU WILL BE.

I DON'T WANT TO BE IN A WHEELCHAIR.

AND IT JUST SCARES THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF ME.

[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]

Dr. Nowzaradan: A SPECIALIST SAW SUSAN,

AND SHE'S BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH A CONDITION CALLED NEUROPATHY.

THIS CONDITION IS NERVE DAMAGE

THAT CAN BE A RESULT OF BEING OBESE FOR A LONG TIME.

SUSAN IS LOSING WEIGHT,

BUT SHE'S STILL GOING TO SUFFER

FROM THE EFFECT OF BEING SO HEAVY FOR SO LONG.

HOW'S YOUR DAY GOING?

EARLIER, WHEN I STOOD UP,

I FELT LIKE I DIDN'T HAVE ANY STRENGTH IN MY THIGHS.

YOU GOT WHAT WE CALL A PERIPHERAL NEUROPATHY.

THIS IS A PROGRESSIVE CONDITION,

AND WE NEED SOME REHAB PROGRAM TO WORK WITH IT.

IT CAN BE PERMANENT IF NOT TREATED IMMEDIATELY,

SO WE HAVE TO GET SUSAN TO REHAB TO REVERSE THIS CONDITION

BEFORE IT BECOMES PERMANENT.

WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU DON'T LOSE ANY MUSCLE.

OKAY.

THIS WON'T BE EASY, BUT YOU CAN DO IT.

AND WE'LL SEE HOW THINGS GO, OKAY?

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

Susan: I'VE BEEN DOING EVERYTHING TO GET BETTER,

AND THIS DOESN'T FEEL FAIR AT ALL.

BUT I WILL NOT END UP IN A WHEELCHAIR.

SO, TODAY, WE'RE JUST GONNA DO

THE REST OF OUR THINGS THAT WE TALKED ABOUT YESTERDAY,

SO WALKING AND STAIRS.

YOU READY? YEAH.

I'VE BEEN AT THE REHAB FACILITY FOR A MONTH NOW.

IT'S BEEN HARD LEARNING HOW TO WALK AGAIN.

MY MOM HAS STAYED THE WHOLE TIME, HELPING ME.

AND IT'S BEEN NICE KNOWING THAT SHE'S THERE.

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT BEING IN A WHEELCHAIR...

SO, I'M GONNA TAKE HER WALKER, MOM,

AND I'M GONNA PUT IT AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS.

...AND USING THAT AS MOTIVATION TO KEEP GOING.

WHEN SHE GETS UP THERE, IT'S READY FOR HER.

OKAY.

AND THEN, I JUST STAND BEHIND HER ON THE WAY UP.

AGAIN, MY STANCE IS KIND OF WIDE,

AND I'M JUST HERE AT HER HIPS IN CASE SHE NEEDS ME.

THE SURGERY WAS MY SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE.

AND I'M NOT GONNA LET A SETBACK LIKE THIS

TAKE THAT FROM ME.

[ GRUNTS ]

I'M GONNA FIGHT.

OKAY.

SO, I'M LOOKING BACKWARDS.

I'M GONNA DO EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY CAN TO GET BETTER.

NICE JOB, SUSAN.

WHOO-HOO!

OKAY.

WE'RE JUST GONNA GO TO THAT GRAY CYCLE

RIGHT THERE IN THE CORNER.

EVEN THOUGH I'M BACK AT SQUARE ONE,

I'M NOT GIVING UP.

IF I LOSE MY ABILITY TO WALK,

I'M GONNA END UP GAINING EVERYTHING BACK.

AND THEN I'LL JUST BE WAITING TO DIE.

IT'S MY LIFE THAT'S AT STAKE.

OKAY, NOW WE'RE READY.

IT'S BEEN A COUPLE OF MONTHS, AND I'M GOING HOME.

I CAN GET AROUND WITH A WALKER RIGHT NOW.

BUT MY GOAL IS TO BE COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT

OF ANYONE AND ANYTHING.

THIS WAY. THIS WAY?

YES.

Nita: SUSAN, I'M GONNA GO GET THE CAR REAL QUICK.

I'M A LITTLE CONCERNED AT MAKING THE SAME PROGRESS AT HOME.

BUT I'M JUST GONNA TAKE IT A DAY AT A TIME.

SEE? WHEN SHE CAME, SHE COULDN'T DO THAT.

[ LAUGHS ]

TRYING TO THINK OF SOMETHING YOU COULD EAT.

YOU WANT A CHICKEN SALAD?

I NEED A CHICKEN SALAD,

AND THEN I WANT A 12-PIECE NUGGET.

THANK YOU.

Susan: IT'S BEEN A HARD COUPLE OF MONTHS,

AND I'M HAVING MOMENTS WHERE I'M GIVING IN A LITTLE.

TAKE LITTLE BITES.

I KNOW.

THE ONLY THING THAT'S BAD IN IT IS THE MAYONNAISE.

IT'S PROBABLY NOT LOW-FAT.

I'M NOT PERFECT.

I'M GONNA MESS UP EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.

I CHEAT A LITTLE,

BUT IT HELPS ME COPE WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON.

THE KEY IS FINDING BALANCE.

I JUST CAN'T OVERDO IT.

I'M GOING TO DR. NOWZARADAN'S OFFICE,

AND I'M A LITTLE SCARED TO SEE

IF I'VE MADE ANY PROGRESS OR NOT.

I'VE HAD MOMENTS WHERE MY EMOTIONS GET THE BEST OF ME

AND I ATE WHAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE.

Woman: MS. FARMER?

SO I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH PROGRESS I'VE MADE.

I JUST HOPE I HAVEN'T GAINED.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

I KNOW.

HELLO. HI.

SO, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?

I WANT MY LEG STRENGTH BACK LIKE IT WAS, BUT...

HOW IS YOUR NUTRITION?

I'M KIND OF SCARED TO TELL YOU.

WHEW.

UM... I'VE BEEN EATING CRACKERS

AND OTHER STUFF THAT I'M NOT REALLY SUPPOSED TO.

Nita: SHE HAD CHIPS AND A CUPCAKE

AT MY GRANDSON'S BIRTHDAY PARTY HERE.

THE REASON YOU CAN'T WALK

BECAUSE YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT AND YOU'RE MALNOURISHED.

OKAY, THIS WEIGHT GAIN IS UNACCEPTABLE.

YOU SHOULD BE WALKING WITHOUT A WALKER.

YOU SHOULD MAKING MORE PROGRESS BY NOW.

LET ME SEE HOW YOU WALK.

UM, I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET YOU UP.

UNLESS I HAVE ARMS ON THE CHAIR, I CAN'T.

SUSAN, SHE SHOULDN'T STILL NEED A WALKER.

AND SHE'S USING THE SITUATION AS AN EXCUSE.

SHE'S GOING BACK TO THE SAME OLD HABITS.

Nita: CALM DOWN.

JUST RELAX AND YOU'LL DO IT.

WHEN YOU GET UPSET, YOU CAN'T.

Dr. Nowzaradan: HER MOTHER BABYING HER

LIKE A 10-YEAR-OLD KID,

AND THIS IS A PATHOLOGICAL SITUATION

THAT, IF SHE DOESN'T TAKE IT VERY SERIOUSLY,

SHE'S GOING BACK TO HER ORIGINAL WEIGHT VERY QUICKLY.

HER CONDITION MIGHT BECOME WORSE AND EVEN PERMANENT.

PUSH YOURSELF UP.

I CAN'T.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ] LIKE YOU DO ON THE COUCH.

SHE HAS TO MAKE A CHANGE NOW.

Susan: CHANGING WHAT YOU NEED TO IN LIFE

CAN BE ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS YOU EVER DO.

AND SOMETIMES, IT'S TOO HARD TO DO IT ON YOUR OWN.

AFTER THE DOCTOR'S VISIT, I WAS PRETTY UPSET.

BUT I REALIZED THAT I DO HAVE TO STOP MAKING EXCUSES.

I KNOW THERE'S A LOT GOING ON INSIDE ME

THAT LEADS ME TO EAT.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT I COULD AVOID ALL THAT.

SO I'M GOING TO SEE A THERAPIST TODAY.

HI, LADIES.

COME RIGHT ON BACK.

SO, TELL ME WHAT BRINGS YOU THERAPY AT THIS POINT IN TIME.

I DON'T KNOW.

[ Voice breaking ] I'M JUST SCARED.

ALL OF THESE CHANGES ARE SCARY, SUSAN.

IT'S REASONABLE THAT YOU WOULD FEEL A LOT OF FEAR RIGHT NOW.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE'S SO SCARED.

DO YOU WANT TO LOOK AT YOUR MOM

AND TELL HER WHAT YOU'RE AFRAID OF?

IT'S SCARY FOR YOU TO BE IN CONTROL.

YEAH.

I JUST GOT TO QUIT RELYING ON YOU SO MUCH

INSTEAD OF...

I DON'T KNOW.

SO, SUSAN, EXPRESS TO YOUR MOM --

WHAT ARE THINGS THAT YOU NEED,

AND WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT MAY BE CRIPPLING YOU

THAT YOU DON'T NEED?

I GUESS WHAT WOULD BE CRIPPLING ME IS

YOU HAVING TO DO MY LAUNDRY, COOKING FOR ME.

MISS NITA, ARE YOU WILLING TO MAKE CHANGES IN THE HOUSEHOLD

TO SUPPORT SUSAN'S GOALS?

I CAN BACK OFF, IF THAT'S WHAT SHE NEEDS.

DO YOU NEED ME TO STAND BACK

AND LET YOU DO THE WASHING AND DO YOUR COOKING?

YES.

SUSAN, YOU'VE REALLY DONE EXTREMELY WELL

EXPRESSING YOURSELF.

WELL, LADIES, THANK YOU.

[ CRYING ]

Susan: THIS GOING TO BE HARD.

I'VE SPENT TOO LONG BEING DEPENDENT ON OTHERS.

I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO IT ON MY OWN.

SOMETHING ALWAYS GIVES ME AN EXCUSE NOT TO.

I JUST HAVE TO START DOING IT AND PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I CAN.

THE PAST MONTH,

I'VE SLOWLY BEEN TAKING ON THE CHORES AROUND THE HOUSE.

I'VE SET OUT TO DO EVERYTHING I CAN FOR MYSELF

WITHOUT MY MOTHER'S HELP.

I'VE BEEN DOING THE LAUNDRY...

...AND WASHING THE DISHES

AND TRYING TO WALK AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT MY WALKER.

I DIDN'T NEED IT AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT.

IT HASN'T BEEN EASY,

BUT I'M SLOWLY GETTING BACK MY MOBILITY.

I'VE LIVED FOR SO LONG

TELLING MYSELF I COULDN'T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF

AND LIVING IN THAT FEAR AND THAT EXCUSE.

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE,

I FEEL LIKE I'M AN INDEPENDENT PERSON.

IT'S BEEN A GREAT FEELING.

I'VE BEEN DOING SO WELL, I THOUGHT I'D TREAT MYSELF.

SO I'M GETTING MY HAIR CUT AT A SALON.

IT CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I DID SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

IT FEELS LIKE THE WHOLE WORLD IS OPENING UP TO ME.

I'M ACTUALLY LIVING LIFE.

AND IT LOOKS REALLY EASY TO STYLE,

AND IT'LL JUST BE NICE.

I'M WORKING HARD TO KEEP GOING.

I HAVE A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT NEXT MONTH,

AND I'M EXCITED TO SEE WHAT I WEIGH.

I LOST 150 POUNDS

THE LAST TIME I PUSHED MYSELF OVER THREE MONTHS.

I HOPE I'VE DONE THAT AGAIN.

Susan: YOU HAVE TO GET TO A PLACE WHERE YOU'RE JUST BROKEN

TO BE DESPERATE ENOUGH TO CHANGE.

TODAY, I HAVE ANOTHER DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT.

I'VE BEEN DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO KEEP MAKING PROGRESS.

AND I'M DOING IT, AND I'M DOING IT WELL.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT.

HELLO. Susan: HI.

HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING?

I SEE YOU LOST SOME MORE WEIGHT.

I'M GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU'RE MAKING GOOD PROGRESS.

YEAH.

Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M VERY HAPPY WITH SUSAN.

SHE'S DONE EXCELLENT LATELY.

SHE STOPPED WITH THE EXCUSES,

AND SHE'S RECOVERING NICELY, AND SHE'S STAYING ON TRACK.

I'M PROUD OF YOU. YOU'VE DONE VERY WELL.

Susan: I'M VERY PROUD OF THE PROGRESS I'VE MADE SO FAR.

A YEAR AGO, I WAS BARELY WALKING.

RIGHT NOW, MY WORLD HAS CHANGED.

AND I'M STARTING TO GET MY LIFE BACK.

IT'S MY 38th BIRTHDAY,

SO MY FAMILY DECIDED TO HAVE A PARTY FOR ME THIS YEAR.

A LOT OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS HAVEN'T SEEN ME IN A WHILE.

I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO SPENDING SOME TIME WITH THEM.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

IT'S BEEN OVER 20 YEARS

SINCE I'VE CELEBRATED MY BIRTHDAY

WITH MY FAMILY LIKE THIS.

Stephanie: BEFORE THE SURGERY, SHE WAS JUST BARELY LIVING.

BUT I FEEL LIKE SHE'S BACK.

SHE'S HAPPY AGAIN.

AND I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD.

WITHOUT THIS SURGERY, SHE WOULDN'T BE ALIVE.

THIS HAS GIVEN HER A NEW CHANCE AT LIFE.

IT'S LIKE A NEW BEGINNING FOR HER.

THIS YEAR HAS BEEN THE MOST DIFFICULT OF MY LIFE.

BUT EVERYTHING I'VE GONE THROUGH IN LOSING THIS WEIGHT

HAS BEEN WORTH IT.

I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THE WAY I WAS.

I'VE COME TOO FAR.

I'M ENJOYING LIFE,

AND I'M HAPPIER THAN I'VE BEEN IN A LONG TIME.

IT FEELS SO GOOD TO HAVE A REASON TO SMILE AGAIN.