Original subtitles

I don't want to come in.

I didn't realize anyone still smoked in

2023.

There's only a few of us cool guys left.

Top or bottom?

Architect, actually.

It's okay.

Easy, cowboy.

Now?

No.

Now you can grab my [ __ ]

>> [snorts]

>> One of the last true romantics. [music]

Okay.

My turn.

Romantic undertones dark [ __ ] sucker.

Do you know the best way to Shepherd's

Bush? I think the trains have stopped

running. What? That's it? Yeah, that's

it. I've got stuff to do tomorrow.

You're hot as [ __ ]

Be that as it may,

it's getting late.

Are you my stalker?

Seriously, what are you doing?

I had nowhere to be tonight.

And you were the only one telling

around, so You were literally hooking up

with the guy when I saw you. Who him?

It's a mere trifle. Right.

Look, let me walk you home.

It's a beautiful London morning.

I know this is really weird, right?

Shepherd's Bush?

It's not even a competition. I mean, it

wins for Pam Grier's performance alone.

Don't even get me started on Robert

Forster in that final scene. If you say

so. I do.

But let's be honest.

He hasn't created a masterpiece since

then.

I need to get that [ __ ] inside my mouth

again. What are you doing?

Just

I don't want to get arrested.

Get up.

You're a public menace.

What's more, we just

>> [music]

>> didn't see things in the same way, I

guess. Like Well, there's just so much

to negotiate, you know. [music] So, he

likes cups of tea, his walks in the

sunset, and you like blowing guys in car

parks.

>> What's in an open relationship, it seems

easier on paper.

>> Laura, she just got married the other

day. Laura, it's a Keep your name. Are

you Jewish? One sec. So, at her hen

night the other night Is she a girl?

>> Yeah, oh my god, yes.

Would you

let me finish? Please do, master

storyteller. Hold up. Okay, right. Um

I'm in my story now.

The point I wanted to make was

at this hen night, we had to go around

the circle and say how many people we'd

slept with in our lives. And um these

straight girls and guys were like

eight,

three,

30, even. And me and this homegirl, we

just looked at each other and we were

like

oh, dear.

And then it came to us,

and we were like

a thousand?

10,000?

Define slept with.

Romantic story to go with the romantic

kids.

>> I think you're a Kylie gay. What does a

Kylie gay look like, exactly?

Shinier.

Have you ever been to Athens?

Why would you want to live anywhere else

but in here? In London.

I'm going to have a few offices here.

But

it's not really the easiest city to live

in, is it?

It's worth it for the quality of men

alone.

Present company included.

Is that right?

That is right.

So, anyway, I figured out why you're

circumcised. That's the big question on

everyone's lips, actually.

Why you, my dear friend, are

circumcised.

Well, that's Muslims and Jews have more

more in common than we like to admit.

[music]

>> Their dicks being the most obvious

through line.

Oh my god.

What's your name?

I completely forgot to ask.

It's Maddie. Maddie.

I'm Noah. Nice to meet you.

>> [snorts]

>> You're such an idiot.

Sorry to hear that. It's 2 years ago

now. Yeah, but you never really get over

losing someone.

I didn't lose someone.

Your father?

I looked after him for months before his

death.

And he needed constant care, you know?

So, none of my brothers or sisters were

there. It was just

me and my mom.

Through the hard months.

And when he went, I remember thinking,

all this and you don't even really know

who I am.

Not really.

>> This is me.

I thought you wanted to see the interior

of these apartments. I have you indeed.

Mhm.

I've had my eye on them for some time.

Can I get you something?

No housemates? Uh no, it's a mate. He's

in Qatar.

That's a stronger. That's his the clock.

Follow me.

>> You leaving?

It won't work.

Oh.

I should probably change and shower

before I go in.

Sure.

You know,

it was fun.

Yeah.

That was.

If nothing else, we definitely got our

steps in.

So,

how long are you in town for anyway?

A few more days this time.

Anything planned? Climbing the O2 or

a tour of the nation's great saunas?

It's um

I've got a few friends I need to catch

up with.

I had the best night.

One for the history books.

Totally.

You know, I

I don't want to be a cliché and ask for

your number and No, no.

The whole

you ask for my number and then we'll

just ghost each other after slowly

drifting apart.

That's the one.

So, let's not.

So, agreed.

But, you know,

tonight I I'll go back to [music] the

same spot we met.

I'll go at the same time.

And I'll look through the trees [music]

and the shrubs

for a dark, handsome stranger to walk

home.

You never know,

do you?