Original subtitles

Who's got the sweetest disposition?

One guess, yes, who?

Who never, never starts an argument?

Who never shows a bit of temperament?

Who's never wrong but always right?

Who'd never dream of starting a fight? Who gets stuck with all the bad luck?

I'm J .J. Fate, Fall Guy.

My middle name is Jonah, and Jinx is in there, too.

Hoodoo fits me like a glove, but Fate's my name to you.

Now, this is an average neighborhood.

These are average homes.

Average people live in these homes.

And here comes an average citizen home from work.

He thinks.

Ah, yes.

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.

To have an accident?

Do you realize that nearly five million people suffered in home accidents last

year? And everybody blames me, dagnabbit.

Just for example.

Listen to him blame me for his carelessness.

You know, accidents just don't happen by themselves.

They must be carelessly planned in advance.

So step right up and have an accident.

The average home is really a complicated piece of machinery equipped with all

the modern conveniences for having an accident.

If you insist.

He did.

This one is called a throw rug for obvious reasons.

Accidents happen fast, don't they?

Let's just slow the picture down and see how he accomplished

it.

Note how easy it is to have an accident.

Just a few carelessly misplaced objects.

Hold it. We missed one. Let's try that again.

And there you have it. An awkward

attitude by an inattentive, accident -prone individual.

Well...

Kind, considerate, jolly, and usually very cautious.

He wouldn't take a chance sitting in an electric chair, but look at the chances

he takes around his home.

Everyone knows it's stupid to overload electrical equipment.

Frayed cords, frazzled nerves.

He certainly wouldn't put his head in a lion's mouth.

But... So now he's cooking with gas.

He's gonna burn his hand.

for a moving spot.

He wouldn't think of going over Niagara Falls in a barrel, but this particular

maneuver is called falling down stairs.

There are many ways of doing this if you aren't careful.

Average neighborhood.

These are average homes.

Average people live here.

Having average accidents.

Because they don't use average intelligence.

Like I said, don't blame fate for your carelessness.