Original subtitles

Max: This is my boss, Jonathan Hart,

a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them, which ain't easy,

'cause when they met, it was murder.

♪

Diane, wait up. I'll walk with you.

Oh, sure, Dr. Scott.

What's this?

A smile on Diane Sommerville's face?

I don't believe it. What did you do?

- Win the Ivory sweepstakes? - Better.

Little Timmy can walk again

and Mom and Dad are back together,

and Dr. Thomas has asked me to marry him.

Wonderful.

Sounds like all's right with the world.

Finally, yeah.

I must be the happiest girl at Doctor's Hospital.

I'm so glad. Good night.

Good night.

Oh, no! No, please!

Not when life holds so much hope!

No!

- Max? - Shh!

I'm sorry, I didn't realize what time it was.

It's okay, the commercial's on. What's up?

I was hoping lunch.

Come on and join us. Do you know what's happened?

What?

Diane just got murdered.

Oh.

Too bad.

Just when life held so much hope.

You got it.

Mrs. H., did you ever try to write a soap opera?

Me? No.

A couple of us were hooked on "Days of Our Lives"

when I was in college, but I think I'm off the hook.

Shh! It's back on.

Woman: You had something to do

with Arthur's death, didn't you?

Man: That's an interesting assumption.

It wasn't an assumption. It was a question.

Did you kill him?

Of course not.

But how could you even think such a thing?

You had a perfect motive.

He knew about your time in prison.

He could have been blackmailing you.

Doctor: Well, it's possible.

But even if it were true, it doesn't mean I did it.

I'm not a monster.

Killers aren't all monsters.

You should know that. You've killed before.

That was an accident!

Who did he murder?

See, Dr. Porter came to town with amnesia.

He became a doctor at the hospital.

His gardener, Arthur, finds out that a guy

who fits Porter's description

served time in prison for murder.

This was before he married Monica.

He and Monica are married?

Not anymore.

She got disinherited.

No more money, no more marriage.

- Jonathan: Hello, darling. - Shh!

What's going on?

Monica just told Dr. Porter she thinks he's a murderer.

That's not what I meant.

It's not bad enough that I lose Max every day

from 2:30 to 3:00, now you're gone.

Just until 3:00, darling.

Monica: Well, if you're innocent, then who?!

What about Tom?

The police did find a vial of poison in his lab coat.

Come on, Doc!

You don't think he's stupid enough

to have left it there by accident?

Sounds like a setup to me.

Sounds like a setup to me.

Oh, Dr. Scott, come in.

Dr. Scott: Thank, you, Monica. Thank you.

Well, well, Dr. Scott.

Dr. Porter.

I had no idea you still made house calls.

Dr. Scott: Well, I was...

Monica: Would you be an angel and get that?

I'm really not in the mood for small talk.

Dr. Scott: Sure. Hello?

What?

No, no, you just hold on.

What's the matter?

They just found Diane Sommerville.

She was murdered outside the hospital.

Announcer: Next on "Doctor's Hospital"...

Anybody for a late lunch?

You know something, Max,

when I used to watch soap operas,

people got married, they got divorced,

they even became terminally ill,

but nobody got murdered.

Well, you gotta grab that audience, Mrs. H.

Well, Max, if "Doctor's Hospital"

is keeping you away from the track,

then you've gotta be way ahead of the game financially.

I got better things to do with my dough

than blow it at the track.

Jennifer: What's that?

A little surprise for you, Mrs. H,

for that charity luncheon you're going to tomorrow.

At Mrs. Wentworth-Hays'?

I bought all these raffle tickets in your name.

Max, you shouldn't have done that.

That must've cost a months' salary.

Mrs. H., if you win, the prize is...

No, I'll keep it a surprise.

No sense in being disappointed if you lose.

Oh, come on, give me a hint.

Well, it's something that millions of women

from coast to coast would give their eyeteeth for.

I'm already taken.

Oh, you're witty, Mr. H.

Thank you, Max.

Well, here's the lunch.

Jonathan! Jennifer! Yoo-hoo!

Mrs. Wentworth-Hays.

What's she doing here?

She never goes to the parties she gives.

Uh, Max, would you entertain her while we go get a drink?

Sure, thing, Mrs. H.

Mrs. Wentworth-Hays! Nice to see you.

Max, so good to see you. What happened to the Harts?

They're at the punch bowl. They'll be right back.

Just as well.

Now that I've got you, how do I get you?

Thank you, I'm very flattered,

but I'll never work for anybody but the Harts.

With me, it wouldn't be work.

We'd call it play for pay.

There's Dr. Scott.

Jonathan: Dr. Scott?

I mean Ray Martin.

He plays Dr. Scott on "Doctor's Hospital."

- Excuse me. - Yes?

- I'm Jonathan Hart. - Hello, Mr. Hart.

This is my wife Jennifer.

Oh, J... Mr. Hart. Yes, of course.

I'm Ray Martin.

Yes, we know. We watch your program.

Really? I'm flattered that you watch the show. That's very nice.

I take it that you're a friend of Mrs. Wentworth-Hays.

No. As a matter of fact, we just met.

You see, my show donated a prize to the winner of the raffle

and I got drafted to pull the ticket.

Jennifer, Jonathan, there you are.

Well, has he told you yet?

Told us what?

- Yeah, what? - Ray...

- What? - is Dr. Porter the murderer?

I have a bet with my hairdresser.

Mrs. Hays, they do not show us the future story lines.

You're just gonna have to continue to watch the show.

Hi, I'm Lee Blair, KBHX Publicity.

How do you do? Jonathan Hart.

- My wife Jennifer. - How are you? Hi.

We're just about ready, Mrs. Hays.

Oh, yes. Excuse me, please.

Dr. Scott, I will get it out of you

- one way or another. - I believe you.

And the public just can't get enough of "Doctor's Hospital."

I'm sorry to break up this little party,

but Ray has to cut a ribbon at a supermarket opening at 3:00.

Where does it say that?

Just before you do your radio phone-in show at 4:00.

Lee, I'm sorry.

Um... I've done Shakespeare, I've been on Broadway,

and I'm really getting a little tired of being humiliated

by all of these sideshow appearances.

We'll talk about it later, okay?

Why do you give me all the dreary assignments?

Why don't you send Damian to the supermarket?

- He'd love it. - Look, I'll do what I can.

Now, come on, Mr. Charm. It's raffle time.

Mr. Charm will go pick the winning ticket.

Nice to have met you both.

Actors.

Attention, everyone!

Ladies and gentlemen,

I would like to introduce Mr. Ray Martin

who plays Dr. Scott on "Doctor's Hospital."

He will now draw the number of some lucky lady

who will win a walk-on part on "Doctor's Hospital."

Max!

You're lamb of the house of Hart, Mrs. H.

If you have your stubs ready, the winning number is...

6-8-4!

6-8-4.

No... no... no.

- You got it. - No!

Mrs. Hart's got the winning number, 6-8-4!

Here.

Jonathan, please, help me.

Here.

That's not what I meant.

Congratulations.

Can we have a really nice, big round of applause

for the newest member of the cast of "Doctor's Hospital,"

Mrs. Jonathan Hart?

And I bought 10 tickets. Some people have all the luck.

Let's get a shot. Big smile, Mrs. Hart!

And now a big hand for Mr. Ray Martin!

Well, thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you.

See you tomorrow at the taping.

- Tomorrow?! - At 10:00.

The director will walk you through the scene.

We'll shoot the episode at 11:00.

You're playing the part of a beautiful, wealthy Beverly Hills hostess.

One more shot, real pretty smile.

Now, there's a rewrite due out at 6:00.

Can you meet me at Antonio's?

- It's across the street from the studio. - Uh... uh...

Wonderful. I'll see you then.

A beautiful hostess! Typecasting.

- I'm speechless. - Not for long.

You gotta learn your lines.

Wait'll I tell my friends that I won you

a coast-to-coast speaking part.

I can always count on you, Max.

That's right.

I can't account for the popularity of soaps, Jennifer,

but it crosses all social and economic lines.

There's a group of Harvard professors

that have it in their contracts

that they can't be assigned classes between 2:30 and 3:00

because they want to watch "Doctor's Hospital."

Isn't that amazing?

Ooh, it's time for the Johnny Carson show.

I told you I've gotta get there.

Damian Drummond is taping tonight.

Damian's our show's biggest star

and we can't let him down.

Now, your part,

page 49, scene 26... learn it.

The network is picking up the check.

Good night.

- Thanks very much. - Good night.

Excuse me.

I couldn't help but overhear.

You are doing a scene from "Doctor's Hospital."

Now, you've got to tell me if Dr. Porter

is going to remarry Monica.

Go ahead, darling. Tell her.

Oh, yes! Oh, I knew it. I knew you would know.

Oh, come on, tell me.

I don't know.

Nice people from Pasadena,

Harvard professors, and, uh, Max.

Quite an assortment.

Mm.

Well, darling, if I'm going to work tomorrow,

I must get some sleep.

My public demands it.

Jonathan: It's Lee.

Mr. Hart, you just finished dinner with him?

Yes. When we came out, Lieutenant, we didn't see anybody around.

Yeah, well, his keys and wallet are still there.

I doubt that robbery was the motive.

Sergeant, I want a search of this entire area...

Garbage cans, doorways, everywhere.

I want to find a murder weapon.

He was strangled, so look for a rope,

a wire, something like that, all right?

- You need us anymore? - No, no, no.

Just tell me how you knew Mr. Blair.

We were having a meeting with him.

He's with KBHX Television.

My wife is doing a part on "Doctor's Hospital" tomorrow.

Oh! "Doctor's Hospital," huh?

A few of us down at headquarters have a little bet going...

Will Timmy turn out to be Monica's illegitimate kid?

Got any ideas?

No.

- Good night, Lieutenant. - Yeah, good night.

Here they are, Freeway.

Where have you been?

We expected you home hours ago.

- Freeway. - We've been with the police.

The police?

Yeah, a PR guy that works on "Doctor's Hospital"

was murdered.

Gee, that's awful. I'm sorry.

Yeah.

His car was parked in a dark alley.

- That's where they found him. - Was it a mugging?

They didn't find anything.

I'll get you some coffee.

That's okay, I'd rather have a drink.

- Wouldn't you, darling? - Absolutely.

- Should I get it? - We'll get it, thanks.

Thanks.

Oh, by the way, Mrs. H.,

do you mind if I give you a list of questions?

Questions?

For the star of your show, Damian Drummond.

I thought I'd mail him, but as long

as you're on the show tomorrow,

I thought I might give them to you.

Oh, sure, Max. I'll take it.

Thank you.

- Tired? - Yeah, a little.

I'd better look at that part before tomorrow.

You want me to be the critic?

Oh.

You really are getting a kick out of me suffering, aren't you?

I get a kick out of everything you do.

Aww.

Thank you.

Forget about the part.

- Forget about the part? - Mm-hmm.

Darling, if I don't read the part,

I won't know what my motivation is.

I know what your motivation is.

- You do? - Mm-hmm.

Well, what do you think, Mrs. Hart?

I think it's wonderful. Thank you, Frank.

What do you think, darling?

Oh, you look great.

Well, hello, you two. Jonathan.

You look wonderful, Mrs. Hart.

Welcome to "Doctor's Hospital."

Let the good doctor show you around and how we operate.

I do a terrible Groucho. I'm sorry.

I don't know if you're familiar with three-camera operation,

but we have one, two, and three cameras,

and they're fed onto the floor through these monitors

so that the director can set his shots.

This is the area... excuse us.

We'll just thread our way through here.

Pardon me for a minute.

This is where you'll be shooting your high-society bash

a little bit later on.

Richard's setting it up now.

Just follow me through.

I'll kind of give you a tour of the building.

Real flowers. Not everything is plastic in Hollywood, you see.

And right through this door... Presto change-o.

- A hospital operating theater. - Isn't this fabulous?

- It's the magic of Holly... - Oh, no!

Has he spoiled the magic for you?

- Uh, no... - Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Hart,

meet Damian Drummond.

- Hello. How are you? - How do you do?

Wonderful to have you with us.

Thank you very much.

Oh, uh, I have to ask you a terrific favor.

Would you mind giving me an autograph?

My pleasure.

"To Max."

"Max."

My public.

Oh, Mr. Hart, would you mind

if I'm the one to give Jennifer the grand tour?

- Of course. - Oh.

Right this way.

Excuse me, darling. Excuse me.

Seems to be quite nice for the villain.

Oh, yes, he's the man you love to hate.

Our nation has made him our show's superstar,

the J.R. of daytime, you might say.

- But you're the hero. - Ha.

- Don't they root for you? - No, no, Jonathan.

Heroes are a dime a dozen, but villains,

now that's something else again.

No, if Damian doesn't like the script, it gets rewritten,

and sometimes rewritten and rewritten

until he does like it.

I guess it's my New York training.

I was brought up on the stage, and to wind up here

in Tinseltown with a joker like that

who's been in the business a fast 20 minutes taking over,

it just...

Well, I guess I really shouldn't complain.

I mean, whatever keeps the fans tuning in

keeps food on my table, too.

You seem to be handling it realistically.

You have to in this business, Jonathan.

Oh, I'm sorry I sounded off like that.

I guess we're all a little on edge

because of what happened to Lee.

The police told us you found him.

Yes, we did, but I'm afraid we couldn't offer much help.

That's a tragedy. That's a real tragedy.

- Ray. - Oh, Richard.

I'd like you to meet Jonathan Hart.

This is Richard Bauer, our producer and director.

- Mr. Hart, a pleasure. - And over your left shoulder is Mrs. Hart, your winner.

Jennifer, please.

- Jennifer, congratulations. - Thank you very much.

Now there's nothing to be nervous about.

We're all one happy family here. You're gonna be terrific.

- Are you sure? - You bet. Now come right on the set.

- We're ready for rehearsal. - Oh, boy.

Aw, you're gonna be wonderful. I'll pick you up around 3:00.

And, uh, as they say... Break a leg.

Thanks.

Come along.

Richard: Okay, people, let's do it!

Blocking rehearsal for the actors.

Quiet, everybody. This is a rehearsal!

Let's have it quiet, please!

Anybody not involved with this scene,

please step behind the cameras.

Ray, you want to stay by the table.

Jennifer and Damian, come here by the sofa.

We'll bring you some champagne.

And Monica... where's Monica?

Right here, right here.

Monica, sweetheart,

- we'll have you inside of Ray... - Excuse me.

- Telling a story. - Mm-hmm.

Very funny.

At the end, you'll excuse yourself.

Come back here to meet Jennifer...

- Have you met Jennifer? - No, no.

Oh, Jennifer Hart, Monica Haines.

Hello.

And you'll finish the scene over here.

Now the champagne will come through here.

And then picked up on Dick. Sweep past.

Number two camera will pick it up, and off you go.

All right, are we ready to go?

Let's do it.

And atmosphere, people. Keep it lively.

Remember, this is a party. It's not a funeral.

All right, everybody, from the top!

Let's have it quiet, please!

In five, four, three, two, one, action!

Oh, dear.

So the man says, "Mother,

how could you have eaten that bird?

It spoke seven languages."

And his mother says, "So why didn't he say something?"

- That's good, that's good. - Excuse me a moment.

That's brilliant.

My dear, where did you get that dress?

- Cut it, cut it. - Something wrong?

Monica, sweetheart, let's try and cooperate.

It's supposed to be "My dear, where did you get that dress?"

You like the dress.

So sorry.

Yes, let's take it from the end of your joke.

She has a problem with other attractive women on the set.

I'll speak to her.

Quiet, everybody. From Monica's line.

In five, four, three, two, one, action!

And the mother says, "So why didn't he say something?"

Excuse me.

My dear, where did you get that dress?

Oh, I'm glad you like it.

My seamstress made it for me.

Oh. Well, you must give me the name of the shop.

And cut! Beautiful! Beautiful!

10-minute break, everyone, and then we'll put one on tape.

All right, that's a 10-minute break.

Jennifer, that was wonderful. You're lovely.

- Oh, my. - You know, you're very believable.

I'll believe that when I see it.

Tune in tomorrow at 2:30 and see for yourself.

Jennifer, Bill Stegmeyer, the writer.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

I enjoy the show.

Well, thanks. I used to.

Ah. Wanna sit in the makeup chair here?

Oh.

Uh, Bill has been a little under siege lately.

He came up with a major divorce for Ken and Sylvia,

and the network then said they wanted them to have a baby.

Using a surrogate mother.

I can't wait to see what they'll come up with next.

But Ken and Sylvia can't get back together again.

- You see, Bill? Another fan. - I'm amazed.

Well, Max... he lives with us.

Max watches the program every day.

I just see it when I'm walking...

It's okay, Mrs. Hart. We all watch the show.

You do?

But, you see, you've...

You've written Ken and Sylvia so convincingly

that I don't see how they could possibly reconcile.

It's called writing yourself into a corner.

Unless... Unless what?

Unless, uh...

Sylvia breaks down.

She pours her heart out to Ken

and he sees, for the first time,

that they could start all over again.

That's pretty good.

Why didn't we think of it?

We don't make the big bucks.

It's too bad you won't be around to help me

write the next five episodes.

- Me? - There won't be five more episodes

- if we don't get cracking. - He's a slave driver, isn't he?

All right, everybody, we're back!

Let's do it! Places!

All right, everybody, our five's over! We're back!

Hello.

- Hi, darling. - Are you celebrating?

Uh, negotiating.

- Negotiating? - Mm.

You must have read that one line pretty well.

She was terrific, Mr. Hart. She's sensational.

I know that.

Actually, we're trying to convince your wife

to work with us on the next few scripts.

A writer-actor?

Alan Alda better watch out.

Oh, come on.

She made us rethink the whole Ken-Sylvia reconciliation.

And to top it off,

gave us a beautiful way to solve it.

I told them I've only written a couple of books

and some magazine articles, but they're determined.

We certainly are. She should work with us.

What better experience could you want

to write an article about "A Week on a Soap Opera,"

by Jennifer Hart?

Max would be devoted forever.

It might be fun.

We could use a fresh viewpoint.

You know, you're going to need an agent.

Oh, I don't think so.

I could negotiate it for you.

Yes, I suppose you could.

Go easy, Mr. Hart.

This is daytime. We don't have the big bucks.

I want you to know that this is not gonna be an easy negotiation.

Uh, what do you have in mind?

Well, I think you ought to write a check

for whatever you think is fair to Jennifer's Wildlife Fund.

You're a hard negotiator, Mr. Hart.

It's a deal.

Remember, whatever's fair.

Welcome to the family.

Thank you.

Bill: It's the only way to take it. Jennifer's right.

If Ken and Sylvia are gonna come to this enormous understanding,

we've got to end the affair she's been having,

and the only way I can see doing that

is to write Ray Martin out of the show.

Haven't you got other alternatives?

Ray's been a running character for five years.

The network says his fan mail is dropping,

and we need another victim for our villain.

Damn it.

All right... why don't you and Jennifer

put it on paper first?

I'll look at it,

then decide if Ray stays or goes.

Bill: Sure, leave me to work through the night.

Richard: At least you're working.

Next week, you and I have a place to go.

Ray may have a problem.

Look at this!

Max certainly outdid himself.

I thought we were supposed to have salad and cold poached salmon.

Yes, we do seem to be dressed wrong for the room.

Max!

At your service!

Dinner is served.

Royal crown of lamb,

vegetables jardinière, and potatoes rissole.

Potatoes russole?

Rissole! Sautéed in oil.

Max, what is the occasion?

No occasion, Mrs. H.

Just the smile on your face is reward enough.

What makes you happy, Mrs. H., makes me happy.

I'm a man who derives pleasure from the happiness of others.

Max, I've known you too long. Get to the point.

The point... The point is, Mrs. H.,

that you're writing the next few episodes,

and I got the inside track.

On what?

Do you realize how much money is wagered coast to coast

on who does what to whom on soap operas?

Max!

You're not suggesting that I...

I'm not suggesting. I'm pleading.

Just tell me who murdered Diane on "Doctor's Hospital."

I'll put a few hundred on it, and I'll clean up.

I can't do that, Max!

It's unethical.

That ain't unethical. It's an inside tip.

I'm not tipping.

Are you sure?

Positive.

Here's your roast.

Whoa!

Ready for your 4:00 script conference?

Oh, yes. I'm just gonna make it.

Mrs. H., I'm kind of sorry I nudged you

about the inside dope in your show.

Oh, that's all right, Max.

I hope it didn't interfere with your creative flow.

It didn't.

The flow flowed.

Yeah, who is it?

Hi, this is Ray Martin. Is Mrs. Hart there?

I'm sorry, Mr. Martin, she just left

to deliver her new script for the show.

Oh, I see.

Uh, do you suppose it would be all right

if I used your telephone?

For you? Of course, Mr. Martin.

Come on up.

Thanks a lot.

Freeway, this guy coming up is a big TV star.

So make a good impression.

- Hi, I'm Ray Martin. - I'm Max.

Hi, Max, I remember. We met at the Hays party, yeah.

Wow, this is quite a place.

So, Max, I understand Mrs. Hart's script

is just gonna save our show for us.

I wish I could tell you.

Oh, come on, Max, you mean you didn't even get

one little hint as to what she had in mind?

I couldn't believe it.

You'd think she's working for the CIA.

I guess loose lips sink scripts.

Ah, Max, didn't you even get a peek?

Nah. I figure if it's that important to Mrs. H.,

I'll do it her way.

I ain't even gonna read the carbon copies.

You want to use the phone? Come on in.

Oh, thanks.

You can use the phone in the kitchen.

Uh, Max?

This is... this is kind of a personal call, you know what I mean?

I was wondering, if it's all right with you,

if there's a phone out here somewhere.

Be my guest. There's a phone on the desk.

Come on, Freeway, he wants to be alone.

Thanks, Max. You're a real pal.

Oh, hi, Jackie, this is Ray.

Uh, no, no, I'm not at the station right now.

Um... no, I probably won't...

get back there until later this afternoon.

Uh... yeah, I'll keep you posted.

Right.

Uh, no, no, don't call me, Jack.

I'll... I'll get back to you.

Hey, wait a minute, Freeway.

He's making a personal call.

If Lassie came to visit you, would I be rude?

Mr. Martin?

Freeway, where'd he go?

I have to say that Elizabeth Taylor is our biggest fan.

She wrote the show and says she tries never to miss it.

Isn't that amazing?

Damian, how did you become Dr. Porter?

Well, there was no Dr. Porter when I started.

I mean, I had a three-line walk-on when I started.

- A party guest. - Really?

Yeah, and then the great American public wrote in

and they said, "Who is that guy?"

So they created the role of Dr. Porter just for me.

Now, you are standing in the house...

that Damian Drummond built.

- Rags to riches. - That's right.

I know there are some actors on the show who are jealous

of my meteoric rise, but that's show business.

Mmm, speaking of show business, it's 4:00.

I'm supposed to meet Bill in his office.

- I'll see you later. - All right.

- At the rehearsal tomorrow. - Yes.

Oh, look at you.

Hi, Richard.

This is half-hour television.

Looks to me like you're trying

to put together a six-part movie.

Have you seen Bill?

I was supposed to meet him back here.

Bill keeps a schedule that only a writer can understand.

- Oh? - Fiction.

Funny, funny.

Look, it's getting late.

We're knocking off early.

Want to join us for a drink across the street?

Oh, no, thanks. I'll just wait here for Bill.

Dedication, commitment.

I like it. See you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow. Let's see...

Now...

All alone?

- Oh, hi, Ray. - Hi.

If you want to catch up with everybody,

they're across the street having a drink.

Oh, they are? Oh, no, thanks.

Actually, I was just, uh...

just trying to catch up with you.

Me?

You say you saw nobody run away from the car, huh?

I just found his body slumped over

in the front seat, Lieutenant.

That's an interesting idea.

Somehow I doubt that he strangled himself,

dropped dead, and then stashed the weapon.

I'm only the building manager. I'm not Dick Tracy.

That's all I found in the trunk, Lieutenant.

- What's this? - Looks like a TV script.

"Doctor's Hospital."

Oh, yeah? My wife watches that.

She's been real curious trying to find out who killed somebody.

Yeah, things on "Doctor's Hospital"

making me real curious these days, too.

Go ahead, finish up here, will you?

Thanks for your help, Mr. Donovan.

- Appreciate it. - Sure, sure.

Yeah, this is Davern.

I want you to patch me in to station KBHX.

So you've been writing ever since, eh?

Yes, ever since.

Hmm. How's it coming?

Oh, well, this is, uh... This is very different.

But it's challenging.

I'd like to to see it.

Oh, I don't think they want all the actors to see it

because it's still rough.

Oh.

Well, I just thought maybe I could get a jump

on the direction the story line was going in, that's all.

Oh, well, I'm not so sure that the story line

is going in this direction.

It's just that Bill wanted me to work on it.

I don't really think you're gonna have to worry

about whether Bill likes it or not.

Oh, well, he is my boss. He's the head writer.

He was.

- I don't think... - Sit down, Mrs. Hart!

Sit.

Well... well, well.

You do have an inventive style, Mrs. Hart.

However, I think that you've made one...

slight mistake.

You see, I don't die in the last act.

You do.

Send him in.

- Lieutenant Davern. - Thank you.

Hello, Lieutenant.

- Thanks very much, Janice. - You're welcome, Mr. Hart.

Glad I caught you in, Mr. Hart.

- Can I get you a drink? - No, no, thanks.

- I'm on duty. - What's on your mind?

What I'd really like to do is talk to Mrs. Hart,

you see, about that soap opera walk-on she did.

- Mrs. Hart? - Yeah.

Well, Mrs. Hart is due here about 6:00

because we are going out and having dinner.

Yes, I know. I called your house.

That's what Max said.

Tell me, Mr. Hart, did she ever talk to you

about the backstage life at the show?

The backstage life of the show?

Yeah, you know, the sort of thing like

did the star fight with the makeup man?

Or did the producer want to kill the writer?

Gossip, that sort of stuff, you know.

That sounds like soap-opera material, not like real life.

Oh, yeah, well, real life has taken a beating these days

at "Doctor's Hospital."

We got people dying like flies over there.

First you have the PR man who's killed,

and now we have a second murder.

Writer, guy by the name of Bill Stegmeyer.

Bill Stegmeyer.

So you see, I'd really like to talk to Mrs. Hart.

She's at the studio right now.

I thought she already did her walk-on.

She did, but they asked her to come back

and write some material.

With, uh, Bill Stegmeyer.

Now, wait, the only person working

with Bill Stegmeyer now is the coroner.

You sure she's there?

Yeah, I'm positive she's there.

I just called the show. There was no answer.

Ray: And they'd never dream of killing off Damian!

Oh, no! He gets awards!

If he doesn't like the scripts, they change it!

And Damian makes a million dollars a year!

And Damian's on the cover of every fan magazine!

"Damian, is he really a devil?"

"Damian tells the world it's so difficult to be Damian!"

Damian came here a year ago with a five-page scene.

What do they do?!

They build him up! They make him a superstar!

I'm better than he is!

I play Dr. Scott, nice Dr. Scott.

And I truly am the devil, but no one knows that.

No one even suspects.

That is award-winning acting.

But, Ray, they're not even sure they're gonna do this story.

They just asked me to work on it.

And do you know... it's a tragedy.

No one will ever know that my entire life

has been one superb performance.

Dr. Scott's already gotten away with two murders, you know.

And now no one will ever know what's in your script!

Hey, what's your hurry? Slow down.

- Studio 10. - That set's been closed for...

I'll find out myself. Open up.

All right, all right.

It's not gonna do any good to hide!

There's nowhere to go!

I wrote this scene, Jennifer!

And you're gonna die just like Lee Blair

for degrading me!

And like Bill Stegmeyer because he wrote me out!

There's nowhere to hide!

No! Oh! No.

This...

this will be the kindest cut of all.

Jennifer?

On the set!

- No, Ray. - Come any closer and I'll kill her right now!

You don't have to do this.

Now I'll get the attention!

I'm the star of this show!

I'll have the spotlight.

Keep him talking.

May be harder than it looks.

There's no place that you can go.

You're so wrong!

Up! I can go up!

This is the beginning of a brilliant new career!

Dr. Scott, put down the scalpel.

Oh... oh, yes.

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute, you're not the director!

This is a closed set!

Only cast and crew are allowed in here!

And this is your greatest performance since Broadway.

Ladies and gentlemen...

the award for the best actor in a continuing series...

goes to Ray Martin.

Did you hear that?

The award goes to Ray Martin.

Oh...

Don't you hear the applause, Ray?

Did he say Ray Martin?

- That's me! - Yes.

- They called me? - Uh-huh.

Oh! They called me!

Oh... Oh, thank you!

Thank you so much.

I am so grateful for this award.

Oh, and there are so many people to thank.

First, a wonderful cast and crew.

And all of the little people who make it possible!

But most important... Most important of all...

I would like to thank all of you fans out there

whose loyalty means more to me

than this or any award!

I love you.

Oh... thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Fade to black.

Jennifer: I can't believe it.

You make love to another woman on our anniversary

and you expect me to look the other way?!

Jonathan: Enough about her already.

Let's talk about us.

There never will be an us.

You're... you're not saying it's over?

It never began.

I love you.

And although Julian may never walk again,

I owe him everything.

But, darling, without you, I'll subsist.

Subsist?

Yes. Fade away, die of heartbreak.

Well, then why didn't you just say that?

Because that's not the way Dr. Porters talks.

That's not the way anyone talks.

Have I ever told you you're the most beautiful woman

I've ever met?

That's not in the script.

And even if you write things like "subsist,"

I'll always love you.

You're changing my words!

Who needs the words?

♪