Original subtitles

Shut up!

Hey, that's my dog.

He's so cute.

My brother's obedient, too.

Train him.

His name's George. You can call him Georgie. I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

Come on.

You don't even have to kiss him. You don't even have to hold hands. You don't

even have to acknowledge you're on a date. No expectations.

No expectations.

You could just be going to have fun, and if it works out, it works out. If not,

whatever. You should be a lawyer.

No.

Maybe I guess we could go hang out.

Is that a yes?

Okay, why are you so excited? Is that a yes?

Yeah. Okay, I'll do a high five.

You guys are good.

Maybe I could use the restroom. Can you show me where it is?

Yeah.

You'll have fun.

When are you going on a date?

I would, but I don't know.

Not really in time.

Hold on.

I really don't have to use the restroom.

Okay.

I just have something important to tell you that I think you should know.

I don't even know how to say this, but... It'll be good.

Yeah.

Heather is lesbian.

Okay. But not only is she a lesbian, she is actually in a relationship with her

stepmom, Brenda.

Ooh.

And they left her dad.

And so, you know, her life's not very pretty right now. But I don't think

out with George would be the best thing. Yeah, yeah.

I get concerned because I don't think it's good for any parties involved.

She doesn't like men.

No, I appreciate you telling me that. That would have been bad for my brother

well. Yeah. Wow, really?

Yeah, she has quite the situation on her hands.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a talk show in the making.

Wow.

Yeah,

we're going to have to fix this, aren't we? Or me.

Yeah.

Celeste, maybe?

When we go out there, I'll just tell her that they told you, but I just didn't

want her to feel very pressured and the situation get out of control.

I wonder why she didn't say, oh, she's probably embarrassed. Okay, yeah.

All right, well, we can pretend we went to the bathroom and clear this up.

Yeah.

Okay.

So you remember that one dress I wanted to get when we were at the mall last

week?

The one with, like, flowers, like the teal and, like, pink ones? Yeah.

Oh, that was really cute.

Did you get it? It was so expensive, though. No, I couldn't find it, but my

friend said that they might have it on sale somewhere else.

Really? I don't know.

Well, how come you just didn't get it that day?

You know, things have been really tight with Brendan and me. So, yeah, like, we

can't get anything extra. It sucks so bad.

Oh, I'm sorry, babe. Yeah. No, I mean, I didn't mean to be, like, rude. No, but

I totally forgot it for you for your birthday. I totally forgot. No, I wasn't

hinting at that. No, I know you weren't, but I know that I think about it.

Because I always, like, you know, you think about a birthday present for

somebody, and then it, like, comes the time, and you're like, why didn't I

of that beforehand, you know? Yeah, I know. Oh, I tried to come over

I know. I'm, like, so slow.

Hi, baby.

Hey. So I told her about you and Brenda.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I, oh my God, I look like an idiot. I'm so sorry. No, I mean, I'm sorry. Like,

you didn't know all that and we're talking about your brother and stuff.

I just felt like I had to say something because, you know.

What are you talking about?

You know, about Brenda.

I told her, she knows. She knows everything.

It's just not fair for the situation, you know.

It's not fair to him, like, to put him in that predicament. You're not in...

Yeah, that's why I was kind of feeling, like, a little weird about it. Any

interest? No, I don't care. I just wish I would have known sooner.

Is there any wine?

I have a brilliant idea.

You give me the softball tickets, and I take Heather.

And Heather and I can go together, have a great time. I'll still pay for

everything and possibly hold your hand.

What?

Yeah.

What's the big deal?

My girl, no more.

No. No? No. Yeah.

No, did you pay for the ticket?

I'll give you money, Miss Petty.

Really? Joanna, I need to talk to you.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm really sorry about all of it. I know it might be a little

inappropriate.

I'm just a little mixed up right now, but I'm sure it'll work. No, I've been

there. Work everything out once the wine is in the bottle.

I don't think so.

We'll get really bad. I don't know. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh.

Seriously? What's the problem?

Like, you ruined everything for Heather.

How so?

Like, oh, my God. Okay, I was trying to hook her up with George because I don't

want her to be with Brenda anymore.

She says it's not going to work. I'm just thinking of this whole... She

like guys.

Oh, no, that's why I was trying to use him to make her never like a guy again.

Like, they're both the same. Her and Avey. I mean, him and Avey. They're both

fucking crazy.

They're fucking crazy.

Have you ever fucking met them? Avey seems fine.

Dude, yeah. She hides it well. She's a fucking schizophrenic. No.

Yeah, yeah. Do you want to know what she did to the last girl?

She fucking chased her around the whole fucking entire fucking state of Texas.

Everywhere this poor fucking girl went, there was Avey.

And you want that for your friend? You really want that for her? No.

You...

you're going to take Evie to the softball game.

Why?

Because Heather's going to end up falling for Evie.

And if they go together, that's the end of it.

And I'm sorry, but Heather needs to be with somebody way better than that.

Better than Brenda, better than Evie, better than George or whatever, Chad,

of these fucking people around here.

So if you take her and you can convince her to just hang out with you as like

whatever and...

So I have to go with her to the game and that's it?

Yeah, just pay her to the game, show her a good time, have fun with her,

whatever, dude. Just, please, come on.

Okay, fine.

What did you guys talk about?

Um, nothing much.

To assess that somebody's got a crush on somebody.

I'm going to get something out of your sleeve.

What are you talking about?

I think Jelena is telling me that she's got a really big crush on somebody.

With Amy.

Really? Yeah. No, thank you.

Isn't she straight?

You know me.

You know you love me too much.

So... Have you guys... should like hang out sometime.

Like, you know, alone.

I feel like I'm being sort of passed around here.

Well, you're passing me around. You know, you're... Everybody's okay with

No, I'm just gonna... I mean, I... I think it's gonna be a great idea. I

you guys are awesome.

I don't know... I don't know if you guys are gonna work, you know? Might like

blow up in a phase.

I feel like I'm on a talk show right now. This is too strange.

But, yeah, I think you might have some fun.

I'll give you the tickets, and you can go to baseball games. Really? You're

bribing me? No.

You're okay with not having the tickets? Are you going to be okay not having

your birthday? Your birthday present given to me? It's okay. You should have

enjoyed it.

All right, so I guess you've known about this as well.

You're hot.

I mean, I...

thank you sure this is weird okay yeah i

would totally love to go to the game with you okay yeah

we're totally like keeping you off with somebody right come on

it's beautiful i think it'll be great okay all right

is everybody happy now

I'm happy.

So, why don't you guys get to talking in the room?

You're so subtle. I don't look subtle.

No, I'm not. In a good way.

You're so cute.

Somehow we're alone. A little matchmaker.

I totally am a matchmaker. I like to meet people.

You have a good eye for it.

It's good, right? Yeah, that's good.

It's funny.

I love it.

Yeah.

I gave away your birthday present.

No, it's okay. I didn't need any quality alone time.

Just feel the heat.

Yeah, you're telling me.

I, uh, yeah, it felt kind of bad after you gave it away.

I won't bite.

We can get to know each other and talk.

What do you want to talk about?

Well, we're supposed to be getting to know each other. I think that's okay.

My date is no longer a date anymore.

You must sit.

And bond.

Let's go bonding.

Do you like softball? I do like softball. You used to play?

I did.

At one point.

Don't even want to, I just watch it.

Yeah, I've only been to a couple games.

Not very many.

No, have you ever played?

No. No, you got the body for it.

Played. Yeah, no.

Played basketball not at all.

Hmm.

The height.

Okay, I'm not going to small talk.

You have a boyfriend, right?

I do. I have a boyfriend.

And have you ever done this kind of thing?

As in cheating and being with a girl?

No. No?

No. Do we have an issue with you here right now?

Probably.

Do you have an issue being here right now?

Just one pause.

Maybe a little?

A little.

Hmm.

What can I do to make you feel more comfortable?

I guess this is the next question.

Maybe we'll just have a drink after the game.

Okay, well... I want to kiss you.

Is that okay?

I'll do it. You don't have to lean in. I'll do all the leaning.

Do you want

to massage first?

I'll massage you.

Hmm.

Not so bad, right? Not bad?

Not so intrusive?

No. Okay.

You've got a cancer.

Are you moving back?

Gravity to happen tonight.

I'm so glad you're trying to pick somebody up anyway with this really

skirt.

No, I'm not.

Whatever.

Coming over with three other lesbians? Really?

Yeah?

Because you're comfortable?

It's for the boys.

Thank you.

There's your body.

Yours is pretty nice too.

I don't want to get wrinkled or anything.

I don't feel guilty. I'm just crying for you.

Oh.

Thank you.

I'm getting those pains off of you.

Thank you.

That's good.

Did you call me into this cuz I'm supposed to be on top of you right now

I don't know what I'm doing.

Are you playing the, oh, I'm going to pretend I've never done this before.

never done this before. Put her in there.

Baking. I'm not baking.

Maybe it's just instinct.

Your boyfriend.

Let's not talk about him. Okay.

Yeah, I can sit here and do you. You don't even have to do me. Okay.

Since you twisted my arm.

I don't know what to do.

Alright, I think you just guide yourself.

Pretend it's yours.

Yeah,

you know where to look.

Mmm.

Come on.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

I really feel like I still love her.

It's just that everything has been so messed up ever since we had to run away,

you know?

Keep things hidden.

I don't know.

I don't want to see you being with her for a long time.

Yeah, things are in a weird position right now.

I think you deserve better. I mean,

she's a great person, don't get me wrong, but...

You deserve better. I know she doesn't make you that happy.

Who's better?

I mean, there are a lot of choices.

But, I mean, I think I would be the best for you.

I mean, I've always had a crush on you.

Oh my god, this is embarrassing.

Really? It kind of... Oh my god, so yeah, I've always had a crush on you.

Even sixth grade, maybe. Maybe even before that, but I don't think I knew I

liked girls like this.

Really? Yeah.

I just thought you were really cute.

That's funny.

No, I thought you were really pretty, too.

It took me a while to, like, come out about anything.

Do you want to go inside?

Yeah, maybe I'll come in.

Yeah, I don't want them to come.

I'm going to go hang out.

Oh, come on.

Sorry, but I can't talk because I'm old.

I'm sorry.

Things are going really... I guess you could say okay between you and your mom,

but I think deep down they're not going so well.

I know you love her, but... I think you kind of just need to, like, break away.

You're using, I think, family too much.

You know what I mean?

You need to trust people.

Like something different.

Yeah.

Trust somebody else, not just family.

Easy to understand me.

Is there a ticklish?

absolutely crazy in a good way

oh

my god

baby oh my god baby ever

I'm like chasing a pussy.

Fucking great.

You're rubbing on me?

You're making a mess all over your face.