All language subtitles for Hormuz Jeff - SNL [nS97AzfKp3U]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,399 --> 00:00:04,980 Iran's paralyzed commercial ship included Strait of Hormuz. The Strait of 2 00:00:04,980 --> 00:00:09,120 Hormuz. The Strait of Hormuz. The Strait of Hormuz remains closed to any ship 3 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:10,140 trying to get through. 4 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:11,680 Except mine. 5 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,280 I'm Hormuz Jeff. 6 00:00:14,270 --> 00:00:17,750 And if you got something you need shipped through the Strait of Hormuz, 7 00:00:17,750 --> 00:00:21,550 guy. I've got the only boat going through the Strait of Hormuz right now. 8 00:00:21,830 --> 00:00:26,670 How am I able to do this? Simple. I've nothing to lose. No family, no friends. 9 00:00:26,790 --> 00:00:29,030 Best of all, I don't care if I die. 10 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:33,690 Six years ago, I dove into the shallow end of a swimming pool and pancaked my 11 00:00:33,690 --> 00:00:35,950 head. Since then, I don't feel fear. 12 00:00:36,230 --> 00:00:40,690 I'm like that free solo guy, except I promise I've gotten a thousand times 13 00:00:40,690 --> 00:00:41,790 panoonies than that nerd. 14 00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:43,650 What? What? 15 00:00:44,230 --> 00:00:46,430 You met me. Now meet my boss. 16 00:00:46,710 --> 00:00:52,550 The Hormuz Hornet. A 22 -foot party pontoon outfitted with not five, but six 17 00:00:52,550 --> 00:00:54,070 Yamaha racing motors. 18 00:00:54,350 --> 00:00:56,890 Illegally welded to the back. Now that's fast. 19 00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:58,109 Ain't it, ladies? 20 00:00:58,110 --> 00:00:59,110 Oh, yeah. 21 00:00:59,510 --> 00:01:02,350 Hey, what did I say? If you're going to cough, do it off camera. 22 00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:06,010 And she fell off the boat. 23 00:01:06,410 --> 00:01:08,110 What do I ship? Anything. 24 00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:13,030 I don't ask questions. And neither does my first mate. I don't need to know. 25 00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:16,070 Just listen to this satisfied customer. 26 00:01:16,270 --> 00:01:17,330 I am pleased. 27 00:01:17,790 --> 00:01:23,410 The only thing we don't ship is animals. They crap in the boat and can't handle 28 00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:24,029 the speed. 29 00:01:24,030 --> 00:01:25,030 I drive fast. 30 00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:26,610 After all, it's called Iran. 31 00:01:26,970 --> 00:01:28,050 Not I walked. 32 00:01:28,810 --> 00:01:30,470 I just shot a fish. 33 00:01:31,170 --> 00:01:37,230 Get off my ass. Hey, don't let a war stop your shipment. Contact Hormuz Jeff. 34 00:01:37,690 --> 00:01:43,470 today you have to use texto right right you have to contact me using texto it's 35 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:47,310 not on the normal app store it's a third -party alt web secure messaging service 36 00:01:47,310 --> 00:01:52,770 only available via peeler yeah you gotta download peeler first man you're the 37 00:01:52,770 --> 00:01:56,350 phantom browser just go to www .bananapeeler .com 38 00:01:57,130 --> 00:02:02,730 Then install peeler -installer .xle. Once Peeler's installed, then download 39 00:02:02,730 --> 00:02:07,810 Texto through Peeler. Yeah, you run Texto through Peeler. All communications 40 00:02:07,810 --> 00:02:11,250 with me, from messages to payments, everything. 41 00:02:11,470 --> 00:02:15,070 It's got to go through Peeler. Never do it normal. Always. 42 00:02:15,550 --> 00:02:16,550 Through Peeler. Always. 43 00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:21,050 Got to use Peeler. Got to. The only way your shipment won't be completed is if 44 00:02:21,050 --> 00:02:25,070 we get blown up. We take precautions to ensure that won't happen, including 45 00:02:25,070 --> 00:02:29,670 driving top speed in a wild zigzag and blinded recon drones with a paintball 46 00:02:29,670 --> 00:02:30,670 gun. 47 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:35,430 So when it absolutely has to get through the Strait of Hormuz, contact Hormuz 48 00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:37,970 Jeff on Texto through Peeler today. 49 00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:43,190 Because he doesn't care if he dies. She's coughing again. 4031

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