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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,880 This organisation is not financially viable. 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:05,440 (ROBOTIC VOICE) How much does that cost? I'm a corporate robot. 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:06,560 Is that my suit?! 4 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:08,800 Did you get the email I sent you about the Pulse54 program? 5 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,160 RYAN: This Scott guy, you know, he's like a cult leader, basically. 6 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,600 He's not a cult leader. He's a gymfluencer. 7 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,240 Mum reckons she's getting a big star. 8 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:16,240 It's Caitlen Allard. 9 00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:17,280 What?! Can you believe that?! 10 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:18,600 (HISSES) Caitlen is her sister! 11 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,760 (TEARFULLY) You know, I could have sold out to Hollywood. 12 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:22,600 They don't get along very well. (LAUGHS) Even better! 13 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:23,600 Let's get her in here. 14 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:24,640 (SCREAMS) FU....! 15 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,960 (SIGHS) So what you want to do is imagine that the voice 16 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,160 is flowing from the top of the body, 17 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:34,640 down and then out through the anus. 18 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:35,680 (LAUGHS) What? 19 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,560 This is a legitimate voice and body exercise, alright? 20 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,240 Can you take it seriously, please? Sorry. 21 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,240 OK. 22 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,640 And then it's as if the voice is paint 23 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:47,640 and you are painting the back wall with your anus. 24 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,360 (INHALES DEEPLY) Oh! 25 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,720 Can you feel it in your sex? 26 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,040 Ooh, I love a pain au chocolat. 27 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:04,000 It reminds me of the time Papa took me to Paris, right, and we were... 28 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000 Morning! 29 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,320 I'll tell you the rest of that later, OK? 30 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:07,360 Come find me. 31 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,760 OK, everyone got the agenda? Mm-hm. 32 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,000 Then we'll get started. 33 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,400 I have crunched the numbers and decided to move the peasant show 34 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:14,640 into the smaller theatre. 35 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,520 What? Do you mean Le Payson A Moitie Enterre? 36 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,240 Oui. Yeah. You've only sold 15% of tickets. 37 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:21,880 But people just buy them on the night. 38 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,240 Yeah, it's not the '90s. 39 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:24,720 Last time you felt anything. 40 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,560 OK, can we just keep the personal stuff out of it, just for once? 41 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:29,520 So what are you going to put on in the big theatre instead? 42 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,200 Oh, let me guess. Caitlen's Off-Broadway show. 43 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,440 Oh, someone's been talking. 44 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,520 Give him a couple of white wines, he'll sing like a canary. 45 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,000 No. That's not true. 46 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,560 Your sister Caitlen has 2 million online followers. 47 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,200 That is how you shift tickets. 48 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,920 But you don't have her yet, do you? 49 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:45,120 Of course she doesn't. 50 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,560 Hm, I'm following a few leads. 51 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,840 I mean, do you ever talk to her? 52 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,480 I mean, obviously, I've got her personal number, 53 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:50,800 but I'm not going to give you that. 54 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:52,840 Do you have it, though? 55 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,360 Yes, of course I've got it. 56 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,640 We talk all the time. 57 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,480 We were talking yesterday, remember, about, um... 58 00:01:58,480 --> 00:01:59,480 Sure. Yeah. 59 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:03,160 ..that...some character notes for a play...film 60 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,160 that she's doing in... Slovakia, weirdly. 61 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,400 Mm. Yeah? 62 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,880 Yeah. Mm. 63 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:09,920 Wow. 64 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:11,760 No. Well, OK, why don't we just call her? 65 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,080 Let's call her! Sure. 66 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,200 Yeah. Margie, you don't have to. 67 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,000 No, no. Call her, call her, call her. You don't have to. 68 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,000 She loves to hear from me. 69 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,320 Call her. Please don't. 70 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,600 Hey, Caitlen. It's Margs. 71 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,520 Um, hey, I was thinking about that second scene. 72 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,120 What's his love language there? 73 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,880 Because that might help you to sort of, like, get into the... 74 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,280 (PHONE RINGS) 75 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,640 Oh, sorry, Caitlen, I've got call waiting. 76 00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:37,040 Just a moment. 77 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,560 Margie Argyle, Argyle Theatre. 78 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,360 Hi, Margie. It's Julia. 79 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,720 Hi, Jul... Julia, why are you calling me 80 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,080 while I'm on the phone to Caitlen? 81 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,040 'Cause I don't think you're on the phone to Caitlen. 82 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,280 Yes, I am. 83 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,120 Um, so, Caitlen... Still me. 84 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,520 ..Slovakia. Is that... 85 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,040 Is that hot at this time? Let me take that. 86 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,200 Get off the phone. Bye, Caitlen. Bye! Bye! 87 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,600 She's gone. 88 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,120 So... 89 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,880 That was uncomfortable, wasn't it? 90 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:01,920 Mm. 91 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,160 How is Caitlen? 92 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,120 Ryan, you're young. How do I get online followers like this? 93 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,320 Like, look at Caitlen. 94 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,240 Content. Like what? 95 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:17,280 Anything. Songs, stories, photos, videos. 96 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,360 Yeah. 97 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:19,680 I mean, look at this. 98 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,160 (SINGING) Whoa. 99 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,480 Caitlen can sing. Yeah. 100 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,240 And look at that - 30,000 likes. 101 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:26,320 Yeah. I can sing. 102 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,160 I think it was always hard for Caitlen growing up 103 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,640 because we were both triple threats. 104 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,280 But then I had the looks as well, 105 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,920 so I was like a quadruple threat. 106 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,280 You know what I mean? 107 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,240 Yeah. 108 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,440 Mm. It must have been really rough for her. 109 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,400 Yeah. Yeah. 110 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:45,160 Pulse54, what's happening today? 111 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,240 Oh, someone's online. 112 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:49,520 I do it? 113 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:51,960 Just do it. Just do it. 114 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,200 (RINGS) 115 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,600 Oh. Shit. 116 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,280 Hi. This is Scott from Pulse54. 117 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,080 Oh, uh, hi, Scott. 118 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,200 It's Julia McNamara from your gym. 119 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,720 Oh, Julia. Hello. 120 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,520 Yeah, you're one of my top ten clients. 121 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:11,200 Wow. Top ten. OK, well, you're in my number one of trainers. 122 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,200 Sorry, I have to go. I'll call you... call you back, Scott. Bye. 123 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,960 Do you have the Wi-Fi password? 124 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,520 Uh...Shakespeare88. 125 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:19,520 Ah, thanks. 126 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:20,880 Excuse me. Who are you? 127 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,120 Julian Assange. 128 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,280 Coming to morning warm-up, J-Mac? 129 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:30,400 (SIGHS) Uh, yes, OK. 130 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,680 But...my anus is staying shut. 131 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,160 Uh...yeah. Absolutely. Mm. 132 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,240 You know, your body, your rules. 133 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,160 MARGIE: Alright, we are finally here. 134 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,280 The Assange Story opens this week. (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 135 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:44,640 I know! 136 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,680 Yes, it's a powerful one-man play 137 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,920 about exposing the truth at all costs. 138 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,320 Sorry, didn't Julian Assange break the law? 139 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,320 Um, some laws are meant to be broken. 140 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:56,360 Here we go. Lefties preaching to lefties yet again. 141 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,760 Oh, my gosh, Mum. So embarrassing. 142 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,320 Gary's going to be in the building until we open, 143 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,400 and he just wants to say a few words about his process. 144 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,680 Thank you, Gary. 145 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,280 I will be going full method for this role. 146 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,880 OK? So I'd appreciate if you would call me Julian Assange. 147 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:12,920 Or Mendax, for the trainspotters. 148 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,040 His dedication to the craft is extraordinary. 149 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,360 Mm. He did a computer science course 150 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,400 at TAFE for this. ..authenticity. 151 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:23,240 That means I'll be in character at all times, both on stage and off. 152 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,040 Yeah. Alright? I wear his clothes. 153 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,280 I carry his laptop. Mm-hm. 154 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,640 I feel his pain. Yeah. 155 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,360 If I seem a little angry, 156 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,200 or sad, 157 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,760 it's only because I am in exile in my heart. 158 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,640 Maybe we should lock Julian in the cupboard and call it Ecuador. 159 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,400 (SHE LAUGHS) (OTHERS GROAN) 160 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,240 Oh! Jeez. 161 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,800 Right. I have tracked down the number 162 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:48,400 for the assistant to Caitlen's LA agent's assistant. 163 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,160 Major breakthrough, Jmac. 164 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,480 Let's call America. 165 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,640 OK. 166 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,320 (PHONE DIALS) 167 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:57,320 WOMAN ON PHONE: Hello? 168 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,880 Hello. Julia McNamara calling, 169 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,560 CEO of the Argyle Theatre in Melbourne, Australia. 170 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,240 (CALL HANGS UP) 171 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,600 Oh, that's rude. They need a tariff on manners 172 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,600 over there. 173 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,160 What...what does that mean? 174 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,880 Because of rude and American. 175 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,520 Right. Sorry. Why does no one in this place have Caitlen's number? 176 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,120 Didn't she used to do plays here? 177 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,960 Isn't she supposedly Margie's sister? 178 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,080 Yeah. I can't work out what's going on 179 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,840 with this dysfunctional family. 180 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,240 Do you need someone to explain the family dynamic to you? 181 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:28,960 Could you? Yes, I can. 182 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,200 I'm going to need a whiteboard. 183 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,840 Give me a minute. You could have just told me. 184 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,360 And... 185 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,680 ..there you go. You're all signed up. 186 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:37,760 Oh, yeah. Great. 187 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:42,160 So anyone could just sign up to as many accounts as they wanted to? 188 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,560 Like, you could just... 189 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,000 Anyone could just go, "Oh, there we go. Another one"? 190 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,440 If you have an email address, 191 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,560 yeah, you could make thousands. 192 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,960 And this is the Argyle's page here? 193 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,640 Yeah. 140 followers. 194 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,480 Ooh. Wow. That is fantastic. 195 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:56,600 It's really shit. Is it? 196 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:57,600 Yeah. Yeah. 197 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:58,920 But wait till I get on there, though. 198 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,640 It'll go through the roof. 199 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:01,760 Mm. 200 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:05,200 So Harmony is Jeremy's third wife. 201 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:06,920 Mm-hm. Also Caitlen's mother. 202 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,920 You got it. This relationship. Mm-hm... 203 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,800 ..ended his relationship with Margie's mother. 204 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,560 Or it was the other way around. He was a bit of a pants man. 205 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,840 Who's this? Oh, that's wifey number one. 206 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,400 That was only two years. Two... How are their four children? 207 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,400 Glad you asked. 208 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,480 These three were steps with her previous marriage. 209 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:24,680 Should I get another board? Mm. 210 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:28,400 That's not a Barbara step. That's Margie's half brother with Jennifer. 211 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,200 Oh, my God, you're right. How does that work? 212 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,200 Here. 213 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,400 I can see a pattern emerging. Gary? 214 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,000 No. Julian. 215 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,120 Keep at it. 216 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,200 Hello, Jane. 217 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,200 Phil, welcome. 218 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:53,840 (BELL RINGS) Hello? 219 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,360 Hello, Lloyd. 220 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,080 MAN: Hello? 221 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,080 Hello? 222 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,480 (DINGS BELL MULTIPLE TIMES) 223 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,760 (SHE SCOWLS) 224 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:03,760 Where is everyone? 225 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,600 Alright, so, in summation, Harmony is Caitlen's mum. 226 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,160 Caitlen was born in Paris. 227 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,560 Margy's mum is Jennifer. 228 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,080 Jeremy left Jennifer for Harmony. 229 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:14,360 That should clear everything up. 230 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,400 There was one in Barcelona. No, there wasn't Donna. 231 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,320 No one's got a good word to say about Harmony. 232 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,920 She left her wine in my wig room once, 233 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,720 and I'm like, "Get your filthy chardonnay away from Lady Macbeth". 234 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,720 Yeah, OK. Can we focus on Caitlen, please? 235 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:25,960 Is she married? 236 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,280 Have you ever read a magazine. 237 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,000 Business Review Weekly? Yeah. Every month. 238 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,160 There have been eight reported proposals to Caitlen. 239 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,040 But they're all wasting her time. 240 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,480 She's married to her job. Very relatable. Right? 241 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:36,480 Mm. 242 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:37,480 What? 243 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,040 (BELL RINGS) 244 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,280 Yes? Can I help you? 245 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,680 Caitlen Allard, eh? 246 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:43,440 Sign here. 247 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,560 That signature might be worth something ome day. 248 00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:46,560 You know she could sing? 249 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,000 (SHOUTS) Oh, why is everyone obsessed with her?! 250 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,120 Well, if we're listing dalliances, I suppose, you know, 251 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,240 couldn't hurt to... 252 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,360 ..add one special night up onto the board. 253 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:58,960 No biggie. Just... 254 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,240 Get over it! Really? Christian? 255 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,160 We all know, Christian. 256 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,000 Oh, don't forget Caitlen dated Hot Props back in their 20s. 257 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,960 Oh, my God! 258 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,200 That's right. Hang on. Who's Hot Props? 259 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,240 Have you not been down to sets and props yet? 260 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,760 Why would I go there? Make sure you set aside a few hours. 261 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,400 Boring. Sorry. 262 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,600 There's someone still working here, who dated Caitlen, 263 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,600 called Hot Props? 264 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,160 MARGIE: (IN DISTANCE) Anyone can go to Hollywood, anyone! 265 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,400 What is going on out there? Have you been to drama school?! 266 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,600 I don't care. 267 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,080 (DISTANT SHOUTING CONTINUES) 268 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:31,400 I'm going to go find Hot Props, see if he's got Caitlen's number. 269 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,160 Oh, no, no, Julia, don't call him "Hot..." 270 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,840 Oh! (TEARFULLY) You know, everyone thinks 271 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,320 she's perfect, but it was MY Cabbage Patch doll, you know, 272 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,560 and she just took it! 273 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:40,920 Caitlen, you just took it, 274 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,840 you know? 275 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,000 And then she starts gaslighting me about it! 276 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,360 And of course, Papa takes her side! 277 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,040 Always takes her side! 278 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:51,200 But it was MY name on the birth certificate, you know?! 279 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,400 D-yeah, I know. 280 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,040 And why am I signing for couriers, Christian?! 281 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,400 Sorry about that. I'll be cleaning the toilets next! 282 00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,760 You'd all love that, wouldn't you?! 283 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,360 Oh, no. Scrubbing away?! 284 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:02,960 No, no, no. Yeah, you will, you'd all love that! 285 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,320 No scrubbing, no scrubbing. 286 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,040 Nobody... No scrubbing. 287 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,760 (SHE SCREAMS) (SOFTLY) Sorry about that. 288 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,440 You alright? You'd never catch Caitlen doing that. 289 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:11,960 No way. Absolutely not. 290 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,840 Hey, can I offer you two free tickets 291 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,760 to a fantastic show we have coming up 292 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,720 of La Paysanne a Moitie Enterre? 293 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:20,840 Nah. No. 294 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:23,960 Hello? 295 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,880 Ah! Hot Props. 296 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,720 What? What did you call me? 297 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:33,800 Uh... 298 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,560 ..they said your name was H-Hot Props. 299 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:37,840 Who's been calling me that? 300 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,200 No one! 301 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,440 No! 302 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,240 I...misspoke. 303 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,160 They said, "The guy down there makes hot props". 304 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,040 Well, my name is Pete, and I'm part of the team. 305 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,400 Yes, you are, Pete. You're a huge part of the team. 306 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,000 That's why I'm here to introduce myself. 307 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,480 Julia McNamara, new CEO of the Argyle Theatre. 308 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,880 Quick question - did you ever date Caitlen Allard? 309 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,320 You're not in trouble. It's not an HR issue. 310 00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:59,320 No, I did, I did. You did? 311 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,240 I did. I actually just started working here when I met her. 312 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,360 Had you? Yeah. 313 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,960 Interesting. Where was I working before that? 314 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,960 I...don't know... Oh! (HE CHUCKLES) 315 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,360 I was selling paintballing in a supermarket. 316 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:09,360 Were you? OK. 317 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,000 Not paintballing in the middle of supermarkets. 318 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,960 I was selling paintballing in the middle of supermarkets. 319 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:13,960 Right. OK. Wait. Hang on. 320 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,560 I just said the same thing again. 321 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:18,160 I was in the supermarket, selling paintballing. 322 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,840 Selling paintballing... Yeah. 323 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:20,920 ..somewhere else. Yeah. 324 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,520 So a little bit like a voucher. Ah! Yes. I get that. 325 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,120 Yeah. And are you still in touch? 326 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,160 Nope. They shut down. 327 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,720 With Caitlen Allard. Oh, yeah. Right. 328 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,680 I might have her phone number. That would be wonderful. 329 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:32,880 Let's have a look for that. 330 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,520 (SOFTLY) What's in that file? Just work, I think. 331 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:41,040 At the end of the day, 332 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,000 it's the government lying to the people. 333 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,040 Yeah. I'll give you an example. 334 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,400 Gary has 38 outstanding parking fines. 335 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,120 Uh, sorry. Who's Gary? 336 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,880 W-well, that's me when I'm not being Julian. 337 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,480 Oh, sorry. Yeah. No. Yeah, yeah. But that's really the state 338 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,240 controlling his freedom of movement, 339 00:11:56,240 --> 00:12:00,080 and who really benefits from the revenue raised by fines? 340 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,200 Big business? Yeah. Now you're getting it. 341 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,600 Yeah. Right. There you are. There you are. 342 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,240 I need your help to go viral. Come on. Follow me. 343 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,120 (SOFTLY) Be careful. 344 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,160 It's the internet! 345 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,520 This is her. That's my collie cross. 346 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,600 Do you like dogs? Um... 347 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,960 ..yeah. Sure. Of course you do. Who doesn't? 348 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,520 She's about to jump off. 349 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,280 Quite a long video. Shall we go to the end? 350 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,040 No, no, no. Just feel like if we just went... 351 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,000 Oh! 352 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,960 Just made it go back into Photos. 353 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,840 Maybe check in Contacts for it? 354 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,280 (HE LAUGHS) For my dog?! 355 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,040 For Caitlen Allard 356 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,760 that you used to date. (HE CHUCKLES) 357 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,320 I'm so sorry. That's right. 358 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,520 I think Contacts... 359 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:39,920 Contacts. Thank you. 360 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,640 No, I don't have it. 361 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:43,640 Ah. I don't have it. 362 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,320 New phone. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe, I don't know. 363 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,440 It might be a problem with the cloud. 364 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:52,800 I'm just saying, 365 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:53,800 it's lucky he's hot, 366 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,320 because I have never met anyone so boring, and I worked in a bank. 367 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,560 Really? Boring? 368 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,240 I mean, I won't deny he's a smokeshow, 369 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,120 but you didn't call him Hot Props to his face, did you? 370 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,880 Yes, I did. Thank you for the warning on that. 371 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,280 (HE SIGHS) (PHONE RINGS) 372 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:07,880 What's this? 373 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,320 God, we're getting a lot of activity on the socials today. 374 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,320 Really? What's going on? 375 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,520 A lot of people are very interested in Margie playing the lead role 376 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,280 in... 377 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,880 Actually, let's not bother reading those. 378 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,320 It's all brain rot online, isn't it? It's all nonsense. 379 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,320 (HE SCOFFS) What? 380 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,960 I wouldn't even b... I wouldn't even... Don't... 381 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,880 I can't believe you called Hot Props Hot Props to his face. 382 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,120 You're crazy! What are you like? Do you touch my phone like that. 383 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,120 What are you...? 384 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,160 What are you...? (PHONE BANGS) 385 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,560 Wow! Oh! 386 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,360 That's a game we play. It's called Phone Frisbee, 387 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,400 and it's normal that I did that. 388 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,080 Oh, I see. 389 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,680 These are about me. 390 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,520 "New CEO looks like a neo-liberal wet dream, 391 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,240 "featuring Margaret Court". 392 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:48,440 Oh, ah, pff... 393 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,720 Banktard? 394 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:50,840 You can't say that. What is a...? 395 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,520 You can't say that any more. 396 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,280 "The lost Kransky sister". 397 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,000 "Garth from Wayne's World"? Classic movie. 398 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,360 Schwing! 399 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,800 Sorry. You need to find out who's posting 400 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,880 these comments. Yeah, I will, I will. 401 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,960 Just, I don't know, call Instagram. 402 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,880 OK, so when I do a thumbs up, it means we're live. 403 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,280 Live. On what? 404 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,360 Just socials. Everything. 405 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,800 Like, everywhere? Yeah. People can just join. 406 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,560 We're just live, so people can join. Oh, right, yes. 407 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:18,560 Yeah, a podcast. Yeah. 408 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,160 OK, then let's do it. 409 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,600 So... Mm-hm. 410 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,520 Thumbs up. Yeah. So that means we're live. 411 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:25,720 Oh! So they've seen that. 412 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:26,960 Here we go! 413 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,880 4, 3, 2, 1. 414 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,640 Not needed. It's already rolling. 415 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,560 We've been live for 15 seconds. 416 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,720 Hi! I'm, I'm Margie Argyle, 417 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,960 and I'm the artistic director here at the Argyle Theatre. 418 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,320 But I'm also a storyteller. 419 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:40,760 Y'know? I'm a truth custodian. 420 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,240 I'm a disrupter. I'm a feminist. I'm a witch. 421 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,120 I'm a woman. Yeah. 422 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:49,160 OK, let's go and see what the Argyle team is up to! 423 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,040 Let's go. Ooh. 424 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,880 Is that close? Nah. You're good. 425 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,320 Let's continue our tour. 426 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,880 We are in the creative heart of the building here. 427 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:04,200 Who's feeling it today? Whoa. Energy is up in here. 428 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,280 If anyone feels like they just want to get up and... 429 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,600 do a 30-second dance party. 430 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,920 You know, I just say to people in this space, 431 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,600 you know, like, if you've got an idea, 432 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,640 just go with it, you know? Follow the creative flow. 433 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,560 (SHE SINGS) # Hey, hey! # 434 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:22,560 Whoa! 435 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,920 # Hey! # 436 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,240 # Hey, hey, hey. # 437 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,800 (OTHERS JOIN IN HALF-HEARTEDLY) 438 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,560 # Hey 439 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,040 # Hey! # 440 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,840 Oh, OK. 441 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:41,280 Little dance party, uh? # Hey, ey, ey... # 442 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,800 Hey, it's Julie McNamara, our new CEO. 443 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,440 Hello. (BLUESILY) # Hey, hey, hey. # 444 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,840 Hey, hey. Come on! 445 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,280 Why don't you go here? # Hey... # Go here. 446 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,600 # Hey... # Hey... 447 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:52,840 And I'll come in... # He-e-e! 448 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:53,880 # Hey... # Hey... 449 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,240 # Hee... No, I don't want to do that. 450 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,520 Yep. Really good for your fun loving reputation, Mum. 451 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,680 Ruined. Well, speaking of that, 452 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,640 who has been posting about me on the Argyle socials account? 453 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:04,880 Was it you, Ryan? 454 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,680 What? Me?! No! I just helped Margie get online, 455 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,640 that's all. Well, Christian will be 456 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,640 looking into it, and we will find the troll. 457 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,400 Don't know how to find trolls, but, yeah, add that to my list. 458 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,920 Everybody is under scrutiny. Don't film me. 459 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:22,360 No, put it up, 'cause you can't stop me putting stuff online. 460 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,880 I think that's something we can all learn from the Assange story 461 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,200 this week, that everyone should go online and make content, 462 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,080 and authorities can't come in 463 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,520 and control the...internet 464 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,280 for...who wants to go on there. 465 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,040 That's exactly right. 466 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,160 Come on, Ryan, let's go. 467 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,640 Let's go see... # Wigs and wardrobe. Hey! # 468 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,000 (HE BEATBOXES) No, no. 469 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,400 Me. This. 470 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,200 # Hey, ey, ey, eh, wigs and wardrobe... # 471 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,760 (KEYBOARD CLACKS) 472 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,920 Hello. (SOFTLY) Hi, Gary. 473 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,440 Julian. Yeah, sorry, Julian. 474 00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:58,880 (SOFTLY) Hey, 475 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,960 do you ever get the feeling you're being watched? 476 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,720 No. 477 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,000 Not really. 478 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,320 Anyway, 479 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,440 someone in this office is not being honest, 480 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,640 and I've been given the responsibility 481 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:12,160 to find out who it is. 482 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,000 So tell me, Gary... Julian. 483 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,760 Yeah. Sorry. 484 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,160 Do you know anything about hacking? 485 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,880 OK, so... So we're going like this... 486 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,320 Yeah. ..and then we throw it up. 487 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,480 OK. Wrong arm. 488 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,000 Mm-hm. Throw it up again. 489 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,720 Up! That was the same arm. Mm-hm. 490 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,760 OK. Uh, I actually wanted to ask you something. 491 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,560 You weren't the one trolling Mum, right? 492 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,440 No! Of course not. 493 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:33,800 'Cause I know she's annoying, 494 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,400 but she's not, like, a bad person or anything. 495 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,640 Well, I guess the truth always comes out online, doesn't it? 496 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,040 Come on, let's record this. 497 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,240 Let's go. Let's go viral. We've got this. 498 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,440 Yeah. We do. (PHONE BEEPS) 499 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:43,440 Yeah. Remember?? 500 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,080 Let's go. Alright. 501 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,440 Up! 502 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,680 Nice. OK. 503 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,320 Shall we go from the top? 504 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:55,600 Oh, you're still going to go? OK. 505 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,800 Sorry, what are you doing at my computer? 506 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:08,240 Just a bit of classified work. Classified work? Why? About what? 507 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,080 Oh, come on, Gary. Julian! 508 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,000 You can tell me. We've known each other for years. 509 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,800 Remember that night in Adelaide? 510 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,440 Gary's never been to Adelaide. 511 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,720 Oh, that's right, 'cause Gary was married back then, wasn't he? 512 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,160 Look, all I'll say is somebody's going to be exposed. 513 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,760 I've got what I need. 514 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,280 How did you know my password? 515 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,280 It was "Password". 516 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,960 Yeah. It's "Password". 517 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,720 I've got to change that. 518 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,000 I'll change it to "Margie". 519 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,160 Alright. So I've called this snap meeting 520 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:40,840 because there's been a dramatic increase of online activity 521 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,760 on the Argyle socials. 522 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,080 Ordinarily, that would be a good thing, 523 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,800 but it's actually raised quite a lot of suspicions, 524 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,480 'cause we, we don't normally get any activity there. 525 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,480 So I'm going to hand over to Gary now. 526 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:52,560 ALL: Julian. 527 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,040 Julian! For the 11th time. 528 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:58,120 Well, the alarm bells were first raised when I found these posts, 529 00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,880 under this image 530 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:02,400 of Margie, in the lead role of the peasant. 531 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,920 Let's take a look. 532 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,640 "Margie Argyle?! I've been a long time fan 533 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,040 "and finally, it's her, 534 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,880 "not Caitlen". Wow! 535 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:10,880 (SOFTLY) That's nice. 536 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,880 "OMG, can't wait for this! 537 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,480 "Margie Argyle is a quadruple threat". 538 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,040 Spot on. 539 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,040 Thanks! 540 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,120 "Margie Argyle? She's an artistic genius!" 541 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:22,480 Oh, my God. Oh, no, Margie. 542 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:23,840 And finally, 543 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,800 "Big Name Brand..." No, not that one. 544 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,800 "Margie Argyle is a good singer. 545 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:30,840 "NOT Caitlen". 546 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,960 It quickly became clear that the posts were coming 547 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,760 from inside this very building, 548 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,240 and after some rudimentary hacking, 549 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:42,440 I am now able to reveal the identity of the person doing the post. 550 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,600 Oh, shut up, Gary! It's Julian, 551 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,120 and let the man speak. The truth must prevail, remember? 552 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,600 But what am I supposed to do? 553 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,440 You know, why should Caitlen get to come in here 554 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,200 and take everything away from me again? 555 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,720 I'm a big name, too! 556 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,440 Sweetheart. 557 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,480 OK. I think the board will agree that this is a fireable offence. 558 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,160 Maybe. But what's more alarming is the evidence of 559 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:02,640 hours and hours 560 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,240 of company time 561 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,200 being spent on a website called, 562 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,440 Pulse 54. 563 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,080 Oh, no, Mum... Huh? What is that? 564 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,600 Alright, shut up, Gary. 565 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,360 It's Julian. So embarrassing. 566 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:14,560 (PHONE BUZZES) No. 567 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,440 This is important information that needs to be exposed to the board 568 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:18,880 at all costs, 569 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,480 and you'll both be named in my report. 570 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:22,520 Oh, my God! 571 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,240 What have you guys done?! 572 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,080 I've got every conspiracy theory loon on the phone. 573 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,960 One of the videos you two made went viral. 574 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,640 Oh, that's good. Well done. That's great. 575 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:35,640 Yeah. Awesome. 576 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,440 The buzz is building for La Paysanne a Moitie Enterre. 577 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,880 It's great. It's not that. 578 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,560 Gary's in the background of the video, 579 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:41,760 and everyone in the comments 580 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,240 thinks Julian Assange is hiding out at the theatre. 581 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:45,920 Oh, Jesus. There's a bunch of media people 582 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,280 outside. 583 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,400 Oh. Show me the video. 584 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,360 Here. (HE CLEARS HIS THROAT) 585 00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:52,680 Exhibit A. Oh! 586 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,000 Mm? Yeah. 587 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,480 Boom. Yeah. That's good. 588 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,160 Looks great, to me. Yeah. Thank you. 589 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,800 "Hashtag this is what a feminist does?" 590 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,720 Sorry. What's this got to do with feminism? 591 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,720 Oh, I'm moving my body, and I look hot, 592 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,520 and there's nothing any man could do about it. 593 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,280 There's a man right there in the video. 594 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,240 Yeah, I don't know. Oh. 595 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,040 There. Who's that? Oh, Jesus. 596 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,320 It's a good promo, though. Yeah. 597 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,960 No, it isn't. He just said conspiracy nuts are watching this. 598 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,960 What do we want? A theatre full of flat-Earthers? 599 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,680 Well, they deserve art, too. Oh, Margie, come on. 600 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,840 Well, just delete it! 601 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,760 Come on, Ryan, press delete. Let's all move on. Done. 602 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,160 You can't delete videos from the internet any more, Margie. 603 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,800 You've already been memed. You're a meme. 604 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,680 Well, thank you. I've got to keep him out of sight. 605 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,160 Julian! This way. 606 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,640 I didn't do the ones about your glasses, by the way. 607 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,360 I don't believe you. It wasn't me! 608 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:38,480 It's just actual feedback about your glasses. 609 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:39,960 Just take it on board, Mum. 610 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,640 You know, Gary's becoming a bit of a problem. 611 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,520 I think he actually thinks he's Assange. 612 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:46,600 He's lost the plot. 613 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,160 Do you know he has 38 outstanding parking fines? 614 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:50,200 Does he? Does he? 615 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,240 Wow. That's a lot. 616 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,320 Gee, it'd be terrible if someone called the police. 617 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:56,720 Yeah. 618 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,320 Would be terrible. 619 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,280 Look, I know this implicates both of you, 620 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,200 but I need to give this information to the board. 621 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:03,200 I mean, can't you see? Mm. 622 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,200 Even if it costs me everything. Mm. 623 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,640 Whatever you think is the right thing to do, you do it, Julian. 624 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,320 You've gotta do it. I mean, you just have to... 625 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,000 What the hell is this? Gary Strand? 626 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,880 No, it's Julian. BOTH: Oh, no! 627 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,800 I don't think so, mate. Look, you've got 38 outstanding parking fines, 628 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,280 OK? You mind coming with us, please, sir? 629 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,880 What? No! They're trying to silence me. 630 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,040 No, you've just got to stop parking on Gertrude Street, mate. 631 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,200 Oh, Gary... Hey! Gary! 632 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,480 Who called the police? Who was it?! BOTH: Oh, I don't know. 633 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:27,600 I don't know. 634 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,800 Somebody needs to leak that document to the board. 635 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,680 Yeah, I'll make sure Carmel gets that. 636 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,080 Deep state corruption. That's what this is. 637 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,920 Good luck locking ME up. 638 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,520 Do you want to pop that in the shredder, darling? 639 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:38,760 Thank you. Thank you. 640 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,000 So apparently he broke bail, 641 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,480 and now Gary's in Ballarat, hiding in his ex-wife's house. 642 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,280 He's worried if he comes back to Melbourne, they'll capture him. 643 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,520 Why doesn't he just download a parking app? 644 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,080 OK, gang. After the Gary news story, 645 00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,400 we've finally sold enough tickets in the small theatre 646 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,000 to - wait for it - 647 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,320 break even! Oh, snap! 648 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,240 Yes! Tonight's already sold out. It's amazing. 649 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,240 Yeah, the show must go on. 650 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,960 I'm just glad all that social media stuff is behind us, you know? 651 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,560 I just feel like it promotes a distorted view of reality 652 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,640 and comparison culture. 653 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:15,960 I don't want anything more to do with it. 654 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,880 Oh, my gosh, Margie, our dancing video we did got 3 million likes. 655 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,480 Are you joking me?! No! Look at this! 656 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,640 Show me! Way more than Caitlen's ever got! 657 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:23,800 Show me. 658 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,400 Oh! Suck shit, bitch! 659 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:26,640 Sorry. 660 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,960 Hope she's seen it. Oh, Caitlen's seen it. 661 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,480 Everyone's seen it. 662 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,200 Caitlen's agent has even seen it. 663 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,480 How do I know? Just had her on the phone. 664 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,400 What? The theatre's got huge buzz now, 665 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:40,400 so Caitlen wants to talk about doing her show right here at the Argyle, 666 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,920 and that's all thanks to you, Margie. Well done. 667 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,720 Round of applause for Margie. 668 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,720 Come on. (APPLAUSE) 669 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:47,720 Artistic genius. 670 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,600 (MUSIC PLAYS) 671 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,160 Aren't you just a little bit curious about what my audition is? 672 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,320 Oh! The audition. 673 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:07,800 Everyone wants this role, you know? 674 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,240 I'm talking Nicole, Blanchett, everyone. 675 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,080 This is an anti-nepotism policy. 676 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:13,760 Oh, she's nepo. No, not nepo. 677 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,480 Sounds nepo. It's not nepo. 678 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,160 What are you doing? Security upgrade. 679 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,320 Margie, I'm locked in. Ow! Why is it hot? 680 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,320 Jesus. Oh, my God! 681 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,320 Christian, we're locked in! What's going on? 682 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,000 Margie and Julia are trapped in the prop cupboard. 683 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,440 I don't actually know where I am! 684 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,200 I don't know where I am! Donna! 685 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,280 Julia! Julia! 686 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,280 Captions by Red Bee Media 687 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,280 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation 50287

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