Original subtitles

- Maria.

Maria, don't freak out okay?

(screaming)

- Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god

(camera snapping)

- Maybe it's a good kind of glowing.

- It doesn't feel good!

- Like electricity?

(groaning)

You know we still don't understand the long-term

effects of electricity on the human body.

- Paul!

- Are you gonna be sick?

(door slamming)

(fabric rustling)

- I look like I swallowed a tub of nuclear waste!

- Maybe you have super powers too.

Light bulb powers!

- I mean, it could be something else.

- Maybe.

- You could be The Light Bulb.

- I think our best bet for right now

is to hope it goes away?

- The Fluorescent Woman.

- Not helpful, Paul!

- I am not gonna get any sleep with Maria like this!

(sighing)

(door slamming)

(blasting)

(electronic music)

- So, now what?

- The schedule.

- Right, we can just load up and continue as normal.

- Yeah, well we can't run around

with the human halogen looking like that.

(scoffing)

- No offense!

- So. Rude.

(electronic music)

- Maybe try clapping?

- Like a lamp?

(clapping)

- What the hell?

- I'm just looking for like a switch!

- Paul, the van?

- Whoa!

- It's coming from the vents!

- No, Paul's on fire!

- Paul!

(yelling)

(coughing)

Paul!

(coughing)

- Stop, drop, and roll!

- Peculiar.

- Okay, that's fine, I guess we all have powers now.

(sniffing)

- How did you make it stop?

- Which part, the car?

I put it in park and put on the break.

- No, the smoke!

You're not smoking anymore!

I'd really like to get rid of this glow sometime soon.

- I just did.

- What is happening to us?

Well, it's gotta be coming from somewhere!

This kind of thing doesn't just happen!

- Yeah, no kidding.

- But it happened to us and it happened to you first.

- It's the chair.

- That's ridiculous.

- You think that we're being irradiated

with superpowers from a hair chair.

- (laughing) hair chair-radiated!

(crow cawing)

(ominous music)

- Everything all right here?

- Everything's fine, officer.

- That chair properly secured?

- Yeah, everything's safe.

- Is there someone else in here?

- [Gabriel] Yeah, we have one other friend.

- Is she okay?

- Narcoleptic!

- She just needs a few more candy cigarettes!

(crow cawing)

- Well then,

drive safely, will ya?

(engine starting)

- Good job everyone, he didn't suspect a thing.

We need to get out of here.

- We need to get off the grid.

If that cop had gotten a better look at Maria--

- Yes, you're right!

We're attracting way too much attention to ourselves.

Everyone give me your phones.

- Wait, you wanna leave them behind?

- Look at you, if we hadn't fended off that officer

you'd be halfway to some government facility right now.

- But, I like my phone though.

- It's the right call.

- Hey, getting rid of our phones is a good idea

and nice thinking.

(sighing)

(dinging)

- If there ever is trouble, you could always

flash S.O.S signal for help.

- Look who's talking, Sir Smokes A Lot.

- Ha ha, clap off.

(electronic music)

(zapping)

- [Gabriel] I'll check in.

- [Paul] I should hope so!

- I'm starving, we can grab some food.

Hey, Chris, you wanna tag along?

- Someone should stay with the van.

All our stuff, you know?

- Come on Allie, food!

(sighing)

- [Allie] So, how long do you normally stay up there?

- Hm, depends I guess.

I try and let my mind wander and then

when it does, I usually feel better.

- Cool, cool.

(thumping)

- [Chris] Hey, Allie?

- Yeah, what's up?

- I might be in a bit of a pickle.

(thudding)

(laughing)

I think I need a ladder or something.

- You could spend less time up there

and more time with your friends.

- Hey, you've got about two minutes to get yourself

and the chair into this room before I'm locking

the door and we're going to--

(buzzing)

(sighing)

(celestial music)

(gentle chiming)

(folk pop music)

? I felt the danger that you needed the company ?

? I had a mind to meet my maker as drunken debris ?

? The Orion and a finger gun ?

? The Orion have you heard enough ?

? You're born on a mountain ?

? You don't know it straight away ?

? You pop out under the big sky baby ?

? And then it's plain as day ?

- Hey Paul, would you rather wear soaking wet jeans

for the rest of your life, like sopping wet jeans,

just got out of the pool wet,

or um, have both of your thumbs cut off?

- How would my pants get wet forever?

- I don't know.

They just would.

- I would just take them off if they were sopping wet.

- No, you can't take them off.

That's the whole point of the game.

You've gotta wear them for the rest of your life

or get rid of both your thumbs.

- I don't understand.

Who is cutting my thumbs off?

- I'd rather get both my thumbs cut off.

I hate wet jeans.

Imaging the chaffing.

- Ah, and your shoes would be always wet.

So anytime you'd step,

it'd make that (blows raspberry) sound.

- Mm-mm.

- I'm good to go.

(cash register beeps)

- And, how would you like to pay for that this morning?

- Card please.

- [Cashier] Whenever you're ready.

- But it's not prompting.

- Whenever it's ready.

(paper bag rustling)

(tapping)

- [Cashier] Oh, we don't have tap.

- But it told me I could swipe, insert, or tap my card.

- Yeah, but we don't have tap.

- Well, you really should put that somewhere on the machine.

I noticed you have a label maker laying on our counter.

Really wouldn't be too much effort to label, "no tap"

at the top of this terminal.

(whirring)

(printing)

- We're not allowed to use the label maker.

Thank you for your patronage.

Hope to see you around some day.

(paper bag rustling)

(music)

(paper bag rustling)

(door bell rings)

(vibrating and ringing)

- Uh...

- They've only got like one hardware store.

That convenience store probably

had the widest selection of light bulbs

in a hundred miles.

- Worse comes to worst, I'll go back to my Slug Man jacket.

(door opens and closes)

- Try this.

It's a different kind of bulb.

(electrical humming)

- That bulb is a really low wattage.

I doubt it'll work.

(electrical crackling)

- Yup, told ya.

- That better not be coming out of our room deposit.

(sighs)

- There is one thing on my mind, though.

They've got Putt-Putt.

- I love me a good game of Putt-Putt.

- Are you sure that's a good idea

with the glowing and all that?

- Yeah, totally, I'm sure it'll be fine.

- I wanna finish my puzzle.

You guys go ahead.

(footsteps)

(door squeaks)

(door closes)

(cling-clanging)

(knocking)

(cling-clanging)

- Chris!

- (gasping) Holy F--, Pauly you scared me.

You can't just sneak up on people like that.

- I didn't sneak up on you.

I knocked but you were too busy

flicking open and close that ashtray

on the arm of the hair chair so I waited

for you to finish.

- Oh.

- Why do you that?

- Can't sit still, I guess.

- You always do it in the same rhythm.

- You're very observant.

- Yes.

- Do you feel better now that you have a clean shirt?

- Yeah, I wasn't able to really focus on anything

with that overwhelming smell of smoke

constantly on my shirt.

It was all I could smell and think about.

I felt trapped.

- I know what you mean.

- [Paul] You hate the smell of smoke as well?

- No, I mean I know what it's like

to feel trapped by something like that.

- Trapped in the van?

- No, well maybe on this trip.

Sometimes I feel like if I can't sit in the chair--

- But Gabriel took the chair for you.

- I know...

When I'm not with the chair,

I feel like something bad might happen.

I'm not trapped in the van, I'm trapped in my mind.

I feel like I can't move forward

or do anything unless I sit in the chair.

- Bad things might happen?

Like with your...

- No, not like that.

It's different every time.

Sometimes it's small things, like failing a test,

but other times it's a bit bigger,

like I had this thought today,

and I don't mean to freak you out or anything,

but I had this thought that if I wasn't able

to sit in the chair, you might die.

- How would you sitting in the chair

keep me from dying?

- I don't know.

- That sounds like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

My mom thought I had it when I was a kid

'cause I keep repeating the same motions and behaviors.

That's what happens when your parents try

to diagnose you from daytime TV psychologists.

- Do you really think so?

- Oh, I am definitely not qualified to diagnose you.

But if you know that flicking that ashtray

doesn't help, why do you do it?

- Because I can't stand to think

at what might happen if I don't.

- I made this necklace out of air fresheners

so I could cope with the fact that my body

now produces an inordinate amount of smoke.

- (chuckles) That is sweet, man.

And super stylin'.

- Maybe there's something we can do to make

you feel safe away from that chair.

- Like what?

- What if we pried off the ashtray

so you can do that flicking thing

away from the chair?

- That might work.

It's worth a try, at least.

- Ah but we can't do it now,

there's no time.

- What do you mean?

- We're going for Putt-Putt.

- What?

- That's why I'm here.

- Oh, well I thought you were here to share a tender moment

with your friend in his time of disarray.

- Nope.

We're all waiting for you to join us at the van.

We're going to Putt-Putt.

(music)

? Have you ever met Miss Lindy ? (laughing)

? She's the gal with the bright red hair ? (water splashing)

? Now she stands out from all the rest ?

? You'd know her anywhere ?

? Well, she's mine. Yeah, she's mine ? (laughing)

? Well, I love that little girl with the bright red hair ?

? Well, Miss Lindy, my Miss Lindy ? (vibrating)

? Well I love that little girl with the bright red hair ?

(laughing)

? Have you ever seen Miss. Lindy? ?

? She likes to dance all day. ?

? and when she does her rock 'n' roll ? (fire whooshing)

? it take her every way ?

? Well, she's mine. Yeah, she's mine. ?

? Well, I love that little girl, oh, she's so fine ?

? Well, Miss Lindy ?

? My Miss Lindy ?

? Well, I love that little girl with the bright red hair ?

(instrumental rock music)

? Well, Miss Lindy ?

? My Miss Lindy ?

? Well, I love that little girl with the bright red hair ?

? Have you ever seen Miss Lindy? ? (music fades)

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