Original subtitles

Here he comes!

He's got my eyes.

That's my nose. Just like mine. Absolutely.

- His name will be Hugo. -His name will be Paco.

- He will be Jorge. -No way! He will be Hugo.

- That baby is mine! -His name will be Jorge!

- He's my son! -He's not your son!

He's not yours! He's mine!

- The genetics"! -The astrology...!

Astrology?

He's got my cheeks!

- He's growing a beard already. -He's my son!

[I was just born, [and I already have problems.

[My name is not [the real problem...

[...but my surname.

[The three ofthem think [they're my father...

[...and that has caused [a big problem.

[It all started [about 10 months ago.

- Ramon! -Yes?

Come help me out with this thing.

Oh, she's such a nuisance. Coming, honey!

What do you want, baby? What do you want?

Help me get him to get off.

Stay still. Still.

Can't you do it yourself? Oh, my God!

- Wait. -Do it.

Make an effort.

Come on. That's it.

Stay still.

Stay still!

Come on out.

Move!

Come on.

Dolby!

Easy.

Dolby, come here!

Come here! Stay there.

Be quiet. Be quiet.

I'll bring you your food.

Bye.

Hi, Pedrito.

Good morning, little critters. I'll give you your food.

Here, Pedrito.

Here.

You don't want?

Are you upset? I'll leave you to it!

Eat it whenever you want to!

- Good morning, Mom. -Good morning, baby.

-\/\/hat are you doing? -Hold on.

That's it.

Your dad forgets to close the animals' cages.

Poor thing.

-L'm off. -Won't you have breakfast?

No, I'm late.

- Okay, baby. Have a nice day. -Okay.

Take care.

- Good morning, Dad. -Good morning, Nicolas.

- Do you have an exam? -Yes.

Animal anatomy.

Atough subject. I passed it with honors.

I hope you do the same.

- Faggot parrot. -Your father is a faggot.

What did you say, Lorenzo?

- V\fill you have lunch here? -I don't think so.

-\/\/hat? -The exam, you know.

Come on.

Faggot old man!

- Good morning, Raymundo. -Morning, Mr. Ramon.

- Do you have my magazine? -Yes. I have it here.

Give it to me.

-L'll pay later. - Okay.

V\/hat's up, honey?

Hi, Nicole. Your photos are there.

- Lydia has them? -Yes, they're cool.

- What are you reading? -"The 7 minutes"?

-\/\/hich one are you in? -The 5th one.

You're almost there!

- Hi, Lydia, how are you? -Hey, Nicolas.

-\/\/hat did you do last night? -I went to the drive-thru.

- Again? -l'll go again tonight.

You're so stubborn. Did you get some?

Nah.

Help me out.

Do you have my photos?

Yes, I was sent the prints. I'll show them to you.

They're so cool!

- Do you like them? -Yes.

We have a session tomorrow.

- Great. I ran out of money. -\/\/hat do you buy?

Clothes, perfumes, make-up, and so on.

And your parents don't wonder?

They think they bought it.

- Good. -\/\/hat theme will be tomorrow?

A Brazilian carnival thing. Very cool. You'll like it.

What do you think?

Nicolas, stay still.

The violence gets me horny.

You give me geese bumps.

That's what I try to.

Nicolas, stay still.

Nicolas!

We came to watch the movie.

Nicolas!

Nicolas!

- Please, Nicolas. -The war gets me horny!

It's dangerous, Nicolas.

Besides...

...we must behave correctly.

Who says this is not correct?

Look, stay still.

We can't betray the trust your parents gave us.

Give me a break, man!

Nicolas, Nicolas, please, Nicolas...

Nicolas! Nicolas!

Nicolas!

Stay still, Nicolas!

Look, we'd better leave.

VWI we never get to the end?

What for? Americans always win.

I mean me and you!

No one would recognize you.

You're right. Whatever!

- Let's get some close-ups. -Okay.

What will your boyfriend think...

...if he'll get to see one of your pictures?

He'll become a missioner, a priest. Go figure.

It's good these magazines are not issued in Mexico.

Ready?

Sure.

OKBY-

Shall we start? Smile. That's it.

Put your hands next to your face.

Smile.

That's it.

Very good. Now... your feathers.

That's it.

Now we'll take your body.

- Shall I stand up or what? -No, that's okay.

That's okay.

We'll start with your left side.

Okay, spread your legs.

That's right.

Put some of your clothes between your legs.

Right. Okay. That's it.

Now, the... bra.

Let go of it. That's it. Okay.

Put your arm in the chair. Chest up. That's it.

Take your bikini off.

V\fith one hand. The other one.

Put the skirt in the middle. Okay.

Your leg up.

The other one. The other one.

That's right. Good.

Close your legs. Very good.

Now spread your legs.

On one side. Like that.

Your face.

-\/\/here shall I put this? -Overthere.

- V\fill you pay me right now? -Sure.

Sign here, please.

Thank you.

I'm preparing an Eve and Adam shoot.

Really? Who will play Adam?

Your boyfriend'd like it. It's a Bible theme.

Really?

Oh, Rachel.

Look at this, Japanese fish.

Ramon! Our baby girl is here!

Coming!

Look at her.

- See you on Thursday. -What do you mean Thursday?

Won't we meet up tomorrow?

I have spiritual exercises.

What a spiritual mess, man!

Is that boy epileptic or does he have a nut breaker?

Let's go to sleep! The girl will notice us!

So?

She'll notice that we're spying on her.

So what? I don't care if she knows we watch her.

- She'll behave better. -Come on!

- Okay, okay. -Go to bed.

Coming.

Hi, I'm here.

- How did my little girl go? -Okay. Fine.

- You're late. -Jorge bought me dinner.

- You should have called us. -Don't get angry, Daddy.

- Okay, okay. Go to bed. -Yes, Daddy.

Mommy won't get a kiss?

- See you tomorrow. -See you tomorrow.

-\/\/hat a daughter! -We are so lucky!

We broke the mold when we had her.

You broke it, because you haven't used it again.

You and your...

"animals!

What are you doing here? Come on.

Francois.

Find me this girl when we get there.

Yes, sir.

Raymundo, is my magazine here?

- Yes, it's here. -Give it to me.

Here.

Look, Pedrito. Look. Look!

- Good morning. -Good mor...

Good morning.

Fashion magazine.

I brought Fifi. She needs a vaccine.

- Why do you tie her snout? -She's a mean dog. She bites.

There is no mean dog. And don't you tell her that.

Animals are very sensitive. They feel our aggression.

If you fear a dog...

...they smell it, and they attack you.

It's their natural defense.

I'm an specialist in animal psychology.

Isn't it true, little Fifi...

...that you don't want us to tie your snout? Come here.

I'll give you a vaccine so that you're healthy.

Doctor! Doctor, shall I come with you?

No, ma'am. Leave us alone.

This is a personal communication...

...between a dog and her doctor. Right, little Fifi?

Excuse me.

Hi, hi.

How are you?

V\/hat's up? V\/hat's up?

Oh, my God!

- Ma'am, grab her. -Fifi, what did he do to you?

I told you! You lousy vet!

I want to see you handling a lioness.

No!

You moron! I lost my German edition!

-L'm here, Lydia! -It was about time.

-L'm sorry. I'm very late. -That's okay. Let's get to work.

Get naked.

- Hey. -Hi.

You're Eve, right?

- You're Adam. -Right.

My name is Paco.

- My name is Nicolas. -How come? Why Nicolas?

My father wanted a son.

-\/\/hat do you do? -You see, I'm a model.

And you?

Me?

I've been studying Law.

I've been at school for 8 generations.

- You must be a hooligan. -Your mother is!

Hey... Adam didn't wear sunglasses.

For real?

It's immoral to take your sunglasses off!

Anyway...

Get out, honey.

- Your boyfriend stood you up? -Yes.

He's such a moron.

Hey... you look better dressed.

Shall I thank you or send you to hell?

If you want company, I'll let you buy me lunch.

- Okay, let's go. -Okay.

- Here. -Thank you. And the lemons?

- Right away. -Okay.

I acquired political awareness in high school.

That's when I saw it was tough stuff.

And I thought, "l'll study Law."

And I started studying. Then I thought:

"lfl graduate, I won't succeed."

I preferred to make awareness in school.

I decided to be anarchy-Trostky-ian.

- Where are the lemons? -\/\/hat do you mean?

- Don't you know what that is? -lt's like a free communist.

No, it's another stuff. Nothing to do. \/\/ant some?

A little. What is it, then?

Something else.

Anyway, I like Trostky-ian people. They always lose.

You're very reactionary.

Okay, Nicole, grab the apple.

OKBY-

Paco, still staring at the stars.

OKBY-

Stand up, Nicole.

Paco, a little. That's it.

Okay. Get the apple next to him.

You kind of reject it.

Stand up, Paco.

Look at each other.

Put the apple in between. That's it.

Grab the apple with the other hand.

Touch Paco in the shoulder. Get closer.

You're going to bite it. Okay.

Get out, honey!

One of my most important experiences was in Canada.

I had a very cool relationship with a girl.

I was used to another kind of sexual relationship.

It was very quick. We stared at each other...

...and I told her, "Okay"?, she said, "Okay."

And we started making love. But she used me,

She taught me things I didn't know.

I loved it. I wanted to stay with her.

I would have stayed in Canada with her...

...but she turned out to be married.

And her husband didn't like it.

I came back to Mexico. I met another girl.

She wanted to be an actress. But...

...l told her...

I liked to drink back then, because I was broken-hearted...

- Okay. -...forthe Canadian girl.

And we drank together, but she kept on.

She didn't stop drinking. She became alcoholic...

...and I hate alcoholism.

Then I met another girl. A cool, beautiful girl.

But she cared much about money...

...and she said that she needed money...

...and she started working as a public server.

She started at 8, she finished at 10.

We didn't have time to make love.

-It's nice making love, no? -Yes.

If you can't make love, whatever.

Have you had homosexual intercourse?

- Yes. -Yes?

Well, no.

Yes and no.

I met a guy who said that was my friend...

...that loved me, he told me cool stuff.

I was in awe of what he told me.

But one night, we drank 2 or 3 drinks...

...and he started hugging me. I said, "What?"

I didn't like that. I said, "No way."

But I can't say that was a homosexual intercourse.

No.

- You know what? -Yes. I'm very cool.

Very good.

Show him your back, Nicole. Lower the apple. That's it.

There. There. There you are.

Good.

Okay. Now...

...sit down.

Sit down.

Grab her a little tight.

That's it.

Lift your chin, Nicole. Okay.

Sexier. Open your eyes.

That's it. Okay.

There you go. Now, without the apple.

Find another position.

Okay. Very good. Let me see.

Make your pout sexier.

There you go. Very good. Good.

Okay, stand up.

Hug her, Paco.

Very good. Gently.

OKBY-

Hugh hertighter. Like you're to kiss her belly.

That's right. There you go.

Fine. Very good.

Okay, there you go.

Get out, honey! Let's go on.

There you go. Okay.

I'm an existentialist, hippy, Buddhist...

...nudist, naturist.

Once I became Hare Krishna, and vegetarian.

Then I left that and I started using pot...

...and coke, and LSD. Look out.

I started using mushrooms.

I met Maria Sabina in Cuautla. Have you heard of her?

- Yes. -She's a nice lady.

But I already left all that behind.

I'm into another stuff, a better stuff.

Mind control.

Parapsychology, Scientology...

I have a bunch of buddies.

It's ESP...

...and phenomenon we don't understand, but that are there.

Where shall we make love?

Play fool! My boyfriend is over there.

No problem.

- Hi, -Hi.

What's wrong? You've been missing for almost a week.

The bank sent me to Guadalajara.

You should have called me.

- Are you angry? -No, that's okay!

- How's your receptionist job? -Fine.

But remember that my parents don't know I have a job.

- Yes, sure. -My dad isn't doing well...

...and I try to help him by paying my studies.

How noble!

Shall we go to the drive-thru?

No, honey. Never again. It's dangerous.

V\/hat's wrong with you? Don't you like me?

Of course I do! But we can make a mistake.

What's wrong with it? We're getting married, right?

Yes, but...

...you'll get to the church dressed in white.

Don't trash this magazine. She's beautiful.

Look.

Ramon, our baby girl is here!

Coming!

You know what, Jorge?

You're old-fashioned, very, very old-fashioned.

- I can't stand you! -Nicolas!

You're more old-fashioned than a propeller plane.

Talking to you about feminism, genre equality...

...and so on, is wasting time!

You live in another planet!

It depends on your point ifview.

You're the one that seems a derailed sheep.

- Your mother is a sheep! -Nicolas.

Be more respectful to my close relatives.

Don't you ever talk to me...

...again!

- V\/hat's wrong? -Yes, what's wrong?

Enough. You were spying on me, as usual.

Why did you fight with Jorge?

- He's unbearable. -Did he do anything?

Nothing! That's the problem.

He's a good boy, from a decent family.

- He's a moron! -You have to sort things out.

- No! ' -He's almost your fiancE.

I demand you keep your engagement.

Ifyou like him and love him so much...

...keep him!

Dean

Don't you despise that boy. He's a treasure.

And don't you talk like that to your father!

Don't you yell at me!

I'm 18 years old...

...and I'm an adult!

- What are you saying? -If you don't like that...

...you can leave the house right now!

- She kicked us out. -Yes, she did.

Where are we going to go?

I don't know. I'll leave with the monkey.

You can go to hell!

[Why?

Because I can't stand you!

[Why?

Because you're obnoxious!

But, why?

Become a priest and leave me alone!

- A priest? -Who is this?

Hugo Valdemar.

Hugo Valdemar, from the magazines?

Yes, from the magazines. Is Nicole, the model, there?

I'm sorry, sir. I'll go find my boss.

Hello?

Yes, Nicole? This is Hugo Valdemar.

Nice to meet you, Hugo.

I'm calling you from the Nassau airport.

- Nassau, Bermuda? -No, no, Nassau, Bahamas.

Nicole, I want to talk to you.

Meet me tomorrow at 7:30 at Mexico City Airport...

...hangar 4. See you tomorrow.

See you...

- Hi, Nicole. -Hey, Hugo.

You look better in pictures, more natural.

Clothes don't look good on you.

Look, I have to go to Los Angeles.

- You deserve more time. -Thank you.

You're welcome. Come with us. You'll drop you in Tijuana.

Catch a commercial airplane, and you'll be back at 3.

You'll only waste your morning.

Give me time to think about it.

Hey! Wait! Wait, don't go!

You know what? I've made up my mind.

I like live pictures...

...action...

...danger...

...nature. -You mean, locations.

Yes, locations! You know what?

I want to see you in Mont Blanc, skiing...

...swimming, the Caribbean...

...thousands of sharks biting you.

I want to see you running and dancing...

...with elephants, leopards, monkeys and so on!

- Yes! -And naked?

Naked, ofcourse! Hugo...

Show me a tit, please.

- Excuse me? -Show me a tit, please!

Now?

Yes, here! We're working, woman! We're working!

I'll make you a modern sex symbol.

A pervarsive naive girl.

You can cover it. We'll be in touch.

I broke up with my boyfriend.

Really?

Congratulations, you set yourself free.

About time.

I want you to meet my parents.

- What for? -To make our courtship formal.

You're nuts, girl!

Don't you want us to be serious?

No way!

Of course not! Are you nuts?

I'm not your toy, man!

Don't get HHQFY!

I get angry as much as I want!

You're definitively out ofyour mind!

- You won't play with me! -Don't be so dramatic!

You seems a soap opera star!

Answer me like a man!

If being a man is getting the knot...

...l'd rather be a faggot!

Are you alone, baby?

Son ofa...

What a man!

Goofy. Help me out.

VWI you?

V\/hat's wrong, Goofy?

If you try to escape, I'll beat the hell out of you.

Don't make trouble. I'll be right back.

Open up. Open UP!

- Man. Man! -What's up?

The animals are very upset. Maybe it's a thief.

You are the one who is upset. Drink some water.

Paco, what are you doing here?

I have to pay a client.

I need you to lend me 100 pesos now!

-\/\/hat? -Yes. You're my last resource.

- You son... -No way!

I'll be dead if I don't pay. Come here.

You see?

Please.

- You're so cool. -And you're so uncool.

I promise I'll pay you back.

-L've been missing you. -And you, too.

- Stay with me tonight. -Maybe another day.

The mafia doesn't forgive.

You ask for money and then leave?

No, I'm not a man who leaves for 100 pesos. Come on.

You...

Two Singapore cocktails, no sugar.

- Right away. -Thank you.

Georges, Kristoff.

Mr. Hugo, what will you have?

Do you mind ifl order for you?

Go ahead.

Thank you. How's your caviar?

Very good.

Give me some beluga...

...and a bottle of extra cold vodka.

And the lobster?

Very good. Give me a steak of lobster...

...with a little sherry.

A bottle of Chabliz.

- Chabliz. -1955.

1955.

And I want some meat.

V\fith soufflE.

And green beans with chopped almonds.

And some Chateau Rochelle...

...1957. -1957.

Then we'll have...

...a tray ofcheese...

...Brie, Camembert...

...Chateu Margaux...

...1955, too.

-1955. -Crepes Suzette...

...a little Armagnac...

"Kirsch...

...and a bottle of champagne Krystal D'Blanc...

...very cold, and some peeled off peaches, please.

OKBY-

Thank you.

- Excuse me. -Thank you.

Have you always been a playboy?

No.

I started selling newspapers on the street.

I was starving.

I envied the people who had newsstands.

I promised to myself that, one day...

...l would have the most important publisher.

I always get what I want.

- Always? -Always.

- To you. -To you.

Would you like to make love...

...in the sky?

Flirty. Let me see. Okay.

Let's see. Fix your vest. Good.

That's it.

Fix your veil a little bit. That's okay.

I'll be back.

What a miracle. It's been a while.

I'm working with Hugo Valdemar.

The international jet-set.

Your boyfriend's been here several times.

I fought with him, with Paco, with my parents.

-It's a bad time. -Yes, it is.

Look who's my model now.

Hi, Nicole. I can do this, too.

I need you both. I'm in big trouble.

- V\/hat's wrong? -l'm pregnant.

Fuck me!

- Are you sure? -I ran a test.

But that doesn't happen to the sluttiest girl.

I took the wrong pills. I took my mom's pressure pills.

- Do your parents know? -They'll kill me.

V\/ho's the father?

Paco.

- Maybe Hugo. -Throw a coin.

Say it's Jorge's. He's a serious guy.

Good idea.

How? Jorge and I haven't...

Make it happen.

I'll try, but what if I can't?

You know him.

Have an abortion. Then cut your hair, or dye it.

Comermex Bank. Good morning.

Hi, it's me.

Nicolas?

Do you still love me, Jorge?

How can you ask me that?

I'm crazy for you.

I love you, Nicolas.

Yes, I'm crazy for you, baby. Yes, Nicolas, I adore you.

I'm willing to do anything.

There's a war movie in the drive-thru.

Nicolas, the Russians win in this movie.

Americans don't always win.

Don't, please.

You said you were willing to do anything.

Yes.

Take off your jacket. Let's go in the back.

Come to the back.

Jorge...

...we're having a baby.

See you tomorrow. Have a nice sleep.

Bye, baby.

Good night, girl.

What are you doing here?

I came to give you your money back.

- How did you get in? -Through the door.

But you weren't here, and I slept a while.

- Go or I'll scream. -Scream.

- Beat it! -But I won't pay you.

Kiss me first.

- Where? -There.

There.

There. There, girl.

There.

There.

Good morning. Is my little girl awake?

You overslept this time.

Did you have a bad night? Look at your dark circles.

Mom, I had such nightmares.

Poor little thing. Will you have all that?

I'm starving like crazy.

I'll have that in my room. I want to be alone.

I'm kind of moody today. Do whatever you want.

Nightmares...

She's acting a little strange.

Good morning.

Finish eating and beat it.

For real? I'm not crazy.

Will you move in or what?

No, I'll only stay here until tonight.

The love rs' shadow.

- Child! -V\lhat?

- Come down, child. -Coming!

Don't move.

Girl.

Bring me some pancakes.

I hate you!

With bacon.

"L hate you."

Yeah, right.

Yeah, right.

Here comes the girl.

Look who's here.

- Hi, Jorge. -Hey, Nicole.

Well...

...l'll leave you to it.

Thank you, ma'am.

Why are you here so early?

I couldn't sleep last night.

I'm still shacking.

What do you want?

To fulfill my duty.

Our child won't be a bastard!

Iwant... I want you to marry me.

This morning, I bought the baby a cradle...

...and I bought your engagement ring.

Hi.

Hi.

- May I come in? -Sure. Come on in.

This is my boss.

- Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

This is my fiancE.

- Your wha't? -Her fiancE.

Your fiancE? This?

- We're getting married. -Getting married.

And we're having a baby.

You're having a baby... with this?

So, you're marrying Nicole.

Yes.

- How will you support her? -With my job.

Really? How much do you earn?

6,000 pesos.

- A week? -A month.

A month!

I spend that daily only in tips!

- Do you want some coffee? -Who are you to say?

A man who is deeply in love with Nicole.

Colombia.

Oh, my God!

You are gorgeous.

How are you, Colombia?

-\/\/hat did you say? -I won't...

...allow a 3rd-world man like you...

...finish Nicole's future.

I don't care what you think...

...because I'm marrying Nicolas!

- Really? -Really.

-L'd like to see. -I guess you won't be invited.

Ramon! Ramon, our baby girl is getting married.

What?

Our baby girl is getting married.

What did you say?

My baby girl is getting married.

You can't make me marry her after one night stand.

You're living in the past century.

I'm an experienced man. I've been nihilist, nudist...

...l'm not a socialist but also anarchy-Trostky-ist...

...and I have important goals to achieve.

You can't make me get married.

Don't misunderstand me. She will marry Jorgito...

...her boyfriend. He came to visit her...

...and they'll get married. -Jorgito?

No way!

Ramon!

There's a man in underwear here!

V\/hat's going on?

Hey...

...who are you?

-L'm the girl's boyfriend. -Why in your underwear?

- Do you want me to take it off? -V\/hat's this? Are you insane?

I must be, to tell you this:

I'll be brave, and I'll take care ofyour daughter.

But since being a get is a good business...

...you may want to help us out.

-L'll let the dogs out on you! - I can defend myself.

- Who are you, guys? -l'll beat the hell out.

-L'll break your... - How friendly your guys are.

Come on. Come on! The man in underwear!

Bite him!

Help me out!

I'll never forgive you!

Don't you dare insult her!

- Tell me... -Your daughter is okay.

It wasn't serious. Most important, the baby is okay.

You're confused, doctor. We don't have a baby.

I mean, your daughter's baby.

Baby?

- V\/hose baby? -You don't understand.

Our baby girl's baby is okay.

- My daughter's baby? -Yes.

You mean, my daughter's pregnant?

- You didn't know? -You hear?

Our baby girl is pregnant.

Our baby girl is a slut, a hooker.

- She's a bitch! -Calm down, sir.

Ramon!

My daughter is a prostitute!

- Calm down... -My daughter is a hooker.

I'm a father ofa bitch!

Why? Because I have loved three men?

That's immoral!

Ifl had been a man who loved three women?

- That's different! -Really? Why?

May l?

What do you want?

I'm willing to forget everything.

I want you to be my wife.

I'll also take care ofyou.

No problem. I'm willing to forgive your affairs with...

...and pop the question...

You want to do me the favor of marrying me.

Yes.

We agreed...

...on letting you choose. -\/\/ait a minute, gentlemen.

We won't accept favors.

My grandchild doesn't need a father...

...because it has a mother and grandparents.

You can beat it right now.

Easy, Dad. Understand then.

They have to let their macho get out.

Look...

...l'm the one for you.

You will be poor with any of these two.

Don't listen to them. Money isn't everything

V\fith the two guys, you'll die out of boredom.

They only want to use you.

They'll cheat on you right away.

Do you want me to choose?

- Yes! -I can't.

- Why? -Because...

...because...

...l love the three of you!

[Didn't I tell you?

[What a mess, isn't it?

[But only I know which one [is my father.

The baby is crying.

Don't worry, honey. I'll go. Enjoy our honeymoon.

It's okay, baby.

It's okay.

He's hungry. I'll warm his bottle.

No, I'll do it, honey. Enjoy our honeymoon.

It's okay, it's okay. It's all fixed.

- Thank you, honey. -You're welcome!

Don't worry. Enjoy our honeymoon.

[Yes. I know which one [is my father.

[But ifl tell, [the other two would go...

[...and my mom [would feel so lonely.

[Besides ifa man [can have many children...

[...why a child [can't have many fathers?

THE END