Original subtitles

And we're live in five, four…

- Three… - …two…

Uncensored.

Welcome to the naughtiest show on television.

Coming to you live from Corinium Studios.

Uncensored.

Tonight, we'll be bringing you the stories they don't want you to hear.

We name the breakfast television presenter

who's been staying up late with ladies of the night.

And as rumours circulate about a famous pop star's homosexuality,

our celebrity panel wonders who are the poofs of pop?

But first, love and prayers from everyone at Corinium

for our beloved leader, Lord Baddingham.

Fuck you!

Everyone at Corinium has been shocked and saddened by his tragic accident.

Lord Baddingham, Tony, wasn't just our boss.

- He was our family. - Mm-hmm.

What's happened?

But it takes more than a little bump to the head

to keep Tony Baddingham down.

Help me.

- Stop doing that! - Yeah, open this.

- I'll put this gently on the seat. - Well, just hold it closely.

- Look, Caitlin... - Wait.

How long is this drive?

Oh, my God!

Look at the size of this place.

Welcome to Bella Vista.

Val's had her eye on this since we moved to Green Lawns.

It's nice though, being right here in Penscombe near Rupert and you lot.

We brought our swimming costumes.

Ah. Well, Val's got some rules.

No running, pushing, ducking, bombing or skinny dipping.

What about heavy petting?

Go for your life, as long as keep your cossies on.

Baby!

Come on!

- Whoo! Let's go! - Here they are.

I invited the polo team round for some swimming.

Whoo!

Val's turned it into a bloody circus.

You all right, lads?

Right, get out.

- Freddie! - Freddie!

That's Sebbie and Dommie Carlisle. People call them the heavenly twins.

- Although they're not identical. - Come on!

Sebbie's taller and apparently Dommie's got a bigger willy.

Look at this!

Where's the pool, Mr Jones?

Follow me.

Hi.

Welcome to Bella Vista!

We called it Bella Vista because it means "nice view".

It's so wonderful to be able to stand

at the bottom of one's drive and not be able to see one's house.

Right, if you'd like to go through. Shoes off everyone, please!

Get in there, you bastard. Come on.

Who's the heavenly girl?

One of Bas's stick chicks.

I tell you what, Patrick. They only let beautiful people play polo.

Why'd they let you play then?

I'm the pat-ron of the Jones Jets.

- Pat-ron? - It's how polo people say it.

Yeah, I just give 'em a load of money to sponsor the team

then they stick me on a pony

and they set me up to score goals and look good.

We're finally where we belong, aren't we, Fred-Fred?

Shall we?

Taggie. Did you make all these?

Uh… Yes.

Mmm. Mmm.

Prick me with a fork. I'm done.

Right, gents.

Venturer meeting. Jacuzzi.

Let's talk polo.

Lovely!

It's our first chance of making TV.

We're gonna film the match, flog the footage to the BBC,

and show everyone that Venturer can cover sport.

Do people really want to watch polo?

I love watching polo.

It's the Rutshire Cup, Wes.

Yes, it's been held on the estate since 1874.

- You sure you want me on telly on a horse? - Pony.

- What? - Anyway,

with no bloody Rupert, our team's a man down.

Still no word from him or Cameron?

Not even a bloody phone call.

It's pandemonium at Corinium.

No Cameron, Tony's still off work after his accident.

I-I'm in charge of everything.

But you're Venturer. What?

I'm double-agenting, Henry, remember?

Oh, yes! Sorry, Charles.

I hate to admit it, but I was under the impression

that we had already won the franchise, huh?

We won the right to compete against Corinium.

Jesus, Henry.

It's a good thing I'm hiring proper staff.

The Prime Minister's really quite ticked off.

The general election's days away and nobody has heard from him.

Stop it. Last time Rupert got himself lost in a sex marathon,

he didn't come up for air for a month.

Devilled egg, your holiness?

Thank you.

Lady Hampshire?

- Why not, Mrs Jones? Thank you. - Oh, no,

please, call me Mousie.

Oh, have we told you that Wayne is starting Eton in September?

We're very proud of him.

How did he get in? Did Freddie donate a computer lab?

Don't.

Well, no, he passed the exam.

No!

Chocks away!

Water polo!

- Willies! - Fred-Fred, do something.

Patrick!

Neil Kinnock, Neil Kinnock, Neil Kinnock.

Whoo-hoo!

Geronimo!

- Ew! - I said no skinny dipping!

I really didn't want to see my brother completely naked,

but I saw the Carlisle twins' bits, so I'm taking that as a win.

I thought Sebbie's willy was nicer.

Have you still not heard anything more from your Seb, Tag?

Oh, he was never my Seb.

His letter was lovely and his new job sounds amazing.

He dumped you in a letter? The shame!

Have you heard from Cameron since she's been off shagging Rupert? Dipstick.

Tag? What's the matter?

Um…

Rupert kissed me.

- Fucking fuck! - What?

- Where? - Uh, in the kitchen.

No, I meant, where did he kiss you?

Oh, uh, on the mouth.

Yeah, he said such lovely things

and then the next day, he just disappeared.

Oh, Tag.

He said he couldn't breathe without me.

I just don't believe he would say that and then just disappear.

Doesn't make sense.

Something awful must have happened.

Thank you.

Plenty more where that came from.

No, I mean bringing me here. Keeping me safe.

Well, it's just good manners.

Rupert, be serious for a moment.

I promised I would protect you and I will.

So you hide me here forever?

Well, we don't have to stay in Devon.

I've friends all over the world.

We'll keep moving.

Stay ahead of the game.

Stay ahead of the game.

You're fine and fit. Take it steady though. Well done.

You're doing really well, Dad.

- We thought you were dead. - Don't be daft, Camilla.

- Daddy's invincible. - Thank you, Beatrice.

Have you packed your belongings for school?

The car will be waiting to take you back, girls.

Archie, you'll go by train.

Listen to your mother.

- I should take the car. - Thank you, darling.

But you took the car last time.

You really don't remember anything?

No. Like I told the police, it's a complete blank.

It's extraordinary, innit?

- These fields… - That's very kind of you.

- …will run with your blood… - Thanks for your concern.

…before you ever mow again.

Yes, it's certainly very nice to be home.

I know, I know, I know. Quite the end-of-series cliffhanger.

And Four Men Went to Mow will return in the autumn.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Yes, it's splendid to be back home with the family.

You too, Lady Gosling. Thank you. Goodnight.

You should be heading up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire, Tony.

I'll redress your wound for you.

Let me lock up down here.

No cigars.

Come on, dogs.

I didn't clean it.

Do you think she's gone back to America?

She's gone to Rupert Campbell-Black.

Hunt the bitch down.

From the moment he met Maud, he was infatuated.

Words started pouring out of him.

Everything he ever wrote was for her.

This hugely magnetic woman who constantly rejected him.

Anyone would think this was your biography, Declan.

That's why it has to be me who tells the Yeats story.

I mean, documentaries are normally so dry.

- No of fence, Mike. - Nah.

Maud Gonne married someone else just to get a rise out of Yeats.

What does Yeats do?

Tries to seduce her daughter.

Sounds like EastEnders.

Mmm, uh, EastEnders did get 28 million viewers last month.

Hmm.

Documentaries aren't presented by celebrities.

Whatever next?

Joanna Lumley on plumbing?

Listen, we really do want your face back on the Beeb, old boy.

Would you consider hosting Breakfast Time?

- Frank Bough's on his way out. - I don't do mornings.

Oh.

Can I say, Jeremy,

this is exactly what the BBC documentary department are looking for.

New formats bringing the wonders of the world to a wider audience.

Declan O'Hara, Irish god… …and British national treasure…

And who got his big break at the BBC.

Look, it's relevant, it's noisy, it's-it's informative.

- But gripping. - Homework becomes entertainment.

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

In a most delightful way.

- Nathalie! Nathalie! - Thank you.

Nathalie! Over here, Nathalie.

Oh, merci. You're all so kind. Thank you so much.

Excuse me.

So sweet. Thank you.

- You came. - I came.

It's Declan O'Hara!

Declan, Declan, over here!

Well, Caitlin fell asleep,

Patrick has script notes for Ibsen,

and Taggie, well, she couldn't make head nor tail of it, the eejit.

I mean, I love the play. It's just a really small part.

I mean, blink and you'll miss me, right?

- I mean… - You don't have to be kind, Declan.

It's…

I really appreciate you coming.

House falling apart without me, is it?

It's quieter.

Hey!

- I mean, the kids seem okay? - Sure, why wouldn't they be?

You're doing a play. We're all very happy for you.

They've offered me the tour.

Right.

That's…

Good news?

But I really wanna come home, once we've finished in London.

Oh, thank God.

But I meant what I said, Declan. I need to keep working.

Understood.

Are you dancing?

Are you asking?

No one else is.

Never stopped us before.

Well, this turned into a worthwhile trip.

I had a meeting with Jeremy Bonnington earlier.

The BBC are interested in turning my Yeats biography into a documentary.

- Right. - I really want to film it in Sligo.

And I'm playing Maud Gonne, right?

You're a West End star now. I couldn't afford you.

The stagehands have more to do than me.

Oh, my God. The Christmas tree!

I like the Christmas tree.

What did you think of the new ending?

Mmm.

Yeah, um…

I mean, it was sacrilegious, but it-it gave a new meaning, I suppose...

You fucking bullshitter!

The only thing the producers haven't changed is the ending.

She still leaves her husband and children for a better life.

But you wouldn't know that,

just as you didn't know the Christmas tree fell over tonight

because you didn't watch the play.

- Maud… - Get out.

Listen. The meeting, it ran over.

- I had every intention of going. Please. - Just fucking get out!

- Get up! Come on! - Please, don't… For fuck...

Just get out! Just fucking get out!

Maud!

Maud!

Ladies.

Is that Terry Wogan?

Sorry I'm late, darling.

I've had a terrible headache.

Cameron!

Sit down.

What the fuck is this?

I'm giving you a choice.

A choice?

I tried to kill you, Tony.

Well, um, that's because I hurt you and you were defending yourself.

We both got a little carried away.

I lay in that hospital bed and wondered what this meant for our relationship.

I could have you punished, send you to prison.

Can't imagine America would want you back after that.

But then I thought of the alternative.

And that is?

Forgiveness.

I've already told the police I don't remember anything.

If you stay with Corinium, stay with me,

I will remember it was a simple accident.

I love you, Cameron.

No, you don't love me.

You just want to beat Rupert.

Can't a man have it all?

Rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

Which one of you greased the front steps, eh?

No, seriously, do be careful entering and exiting the building.

My little slip could have been far, far worse.

Thank goodness for Miss Madden.

Joyce, I can always trust you to catch me when I fall.

I would like to welcome back Cameron Cook

who has been taking time away to study the opposition.

Her first-class espionage means we are now fully abreast of Venturer's plans

and are ready to knock them out of the competition.

Thank you, Miss Cook.

There are no lengths you won't go in order to keep Corinium,

this franchise bid, and all our livelihoods safe.

Because make no mistake, we are under attack.

Venturer, led by Rupert Campbell-Black and Declan O'Hara,

will continue to solicit employees from our ranks

to elicit confidential information.

Those Venturer gangsters have no scruples, so be on your guard.

Trust no one.

- Oh, Charles. - Where's Charles Fairburn?

Here, Tony.

Charles has done a fantastic job covering Cameron's role

while she's been away. So, thank you, Charles.

Now, Beattie and Sarah's Uncensored is demolishing the competition.

The teams are gearing up to shoot series three

of Four Men Went to Mow in September.

Master Dog will be back, bigger and barkier than ever

with James Vereker back on presenting duties.

Woof.

1987 is a franchise year, ladies and gentlemen,

and we are at war!

Yes! Yes!

An eye for an eye.

We'll take their fucking heads off!

Rupert?

Sorry, Tag, not now.

Baddingham found out about Cameron and me.

She thought he was going to kill her, so she walloped him.

Shame she didn't succeed.

That's why we had to get away.

She was in danger.

I had to protect her.

But he found us.

So, why has she gone back to him?

I don't know. She just got into the helicopter.

Doesn't seem like Cameron.

- She's such a tough cookie. - She was scared of him.

We've…

We've got to get her out of there.

Rupe, she's a big girl.

If she's gone back to him, then maybe we've got to accept it.

No, it's not like her. There's got to be something else going on.

You're wrong, Rupert. She's definitely Team Corinium.

She's back at Tony's side as if nothing ever happened.

And th… there's something else.

Tony says that we're now filming the polo match on Sunday.

No, we're filming the polo match on Sunday.

I'm sorry, Declan. It's all set.

Corinium are filming the polo too.

Well,

let's get ready for a fight.

- Morning. Hello. - Mmm.

Rupert Campbell-Black. Welcome to Venturer.

- Mike Maples. - Ah!

- Excited to be here. - Are you ready?

Well, I left behind regular hours and a BBC pension

to work for my broadcasting hero's renegade production company.

I've never been so poor or so happy.

Right on schedule.

Okay? Make sure that gets done right away.

Cameron.

Beautiful day for it.

Let's have a fair fight.

May the best team win.

You can make television without being a cunt, Tony.

It's not nearly so much fun though, is it?

Come on, Cameron.

- What are you doing? - Staying ahead of the game.

Come on, lads. It's time for David to kick Goliath's arse.

- So sexy. - What?

- What? - This is my new favourite sport.

Yes, no one's actually here to watch polo. They're here to watch each other.

Has Rupert said anything?

Heard him say he wants to get Cameron back.

There are less complicated men to fall in love with.

Polo, polo, the sport of kings.

Four players per team, four chukkas per game,

seven minutes per chukka.

Look at all the pretty horses.

Let's horse around.

Horseplay.

- Par for the horse. - Ponies.

Could I get some water, please?

- What? - They're called ponies, James!

I thought ponies were baby horses?

Apparently not.

Stupid game.

Stand by to record!

Floor standing by.

Waiting for shot to clear. We ready?

Chukka, chukka, chukka. Chukka Khan, Chukka Khan.

Okay, on camera one. And action!

Did you know, James, that polo is the oldest ball sport in the world

dating back to 600 BC?

Yes, Sarah, I did.

Now, viewers at home will be wondering why you're wearing

that rather fetching jumpsuit.

Are you auditioning for Treasure Hunt?

- No! Yucky! Yuck! - Oh, my…

- I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. - This is Polo Ralph Lauren!

- Deirdre! - We have Beattie standing by to take over.

- I can feel it on me. - Oh, no.

- Deirdre, strip James off. - Oh, she's already on it.

It's not on my trousers. It's not on the trousers.

Just meet me in the van.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the final of the Rutshire Cup

at the estate of Lord and Lady Hampshire.

We have four-time winners and last year's champions,

the Remington Steelers…

…playing against newcomers, the Jones Jets.

- The match is about to start. - Stand by.

Let's rock and roll!

And they're away!

Lovely cross from Baddingham to Campbell-Black.

Hey!

Rupert!

Rupert, all they way! All the way! Let's go! Let's go!

Campbell-Black sends through to Hampshire.

I'm in! Whoa!

Yes!

- Hampshire sets up for Jones. - Come on, Freddie!

Go on, Freddie! Yeah!

- And a wonderful goal from Freddie Jones! - Yes, Freddie!

Oh, one-nil.

Whoo-hoo!

Come on, Fred-Fred!

What on Earth is that woman doing?

Oh, her high heels are stuck in the mud, Gwendolyn.

She looks as though she needs to go to the loo.

I'll get you some champers.

It's wonderful to see you out and about again, Monica.

Tony's accident must have been very hard on you.

Well, we're all soldiering on.

Do let Hermione and me know if we can help at all.

Us Wycombe Abbey girls must look out for one another.

- Hmm. - Well, I must say,

Mrs Stratton looks ready for action in her boiler suit.

Ah, Sarah has a surprise for us after the final chukka, Reverend Penney.

- You'll enjoy that. - Ooh, what's the surprise?

Wouldn't be a fucking surprise if I told you, would it?

Now, let's enjoy these fools getting beaten.

Steelers right back in it now, pushing hard.

Lovely play from the twins.

Dommie and Sebbie passing between each other.

They cross to Jasper. He takes it.

And that's a goal! Beautifully done.

Fuck!

Now that's some sexy fucking polo.

Fucking yes!

- Oh, fucking hell. - And with the score now

at one goal apiece,

it makes it even-Stevens at the end of the second chukka.

My lords, ladies and gentlemen, take to the pitch for the divot stamping.

Sorry, sorry!

Come here! Sorry!

He just loves telly.

Which side are you on?

Uh, Corinium.

- Oh. - I'm Corinium.

Ah.

Is Master Dog coming back?

Of course!

- Are you thinking of entering? - Oh, no.

David does not enjoy the spotlight.

"I like having my belly rubbed in front of Knots Landing."

Don't we all, David?

David Bow-Wowie, if you please.

Oh.

Would you like to watch the filming with me?

Could we? That's awfully kind of you.

Charles Fairburn.

Muffy, short for Caroline.

Sweaty work.

Might go back to mine and, um…

Have a long shower.

Who with?

Me or my brother?

We know you've been bonking both of us.

Don't play a player, mate.

It's like West Side Story.

The two different sides coming together.

Yeah. I guess it is.

Mmm.

Do you go both ways then?

Oh, uh…

I just like sex.

- A lot. - Oh.

I haven't done it yet.

I really want to though.

All set for the big surprise, team?

- Ready for the grand finale? - Mm-hmm.

I can't wait to come and see you tonight.

Tonight can't come soon enough.

Hmm.

The Jones Jets are right back in the game, now running hard!

- Can he score from there? Yes, he does! - Yes!

Yes!

Is Rupert the daddy or is it James?

You've been running to the ladies all week.

The men around you may not have realised, but that's men.

- Right! - Don't...

- Ready for launch? - Sarah's so excited, she could burst.

And smile!

We're going to be in Tatler.

- Okay, thank you. - No, come on.

Crack your face. You're having fun.

- Middle distance. - That's enough. Thank you.

- Fuck off. - Let's get you up then, Sarah.

- We discussed this. - It's really very simple.

You jump out the plane, the parachute pops open,

and you just float like a little butterfly…

- Thrilling. - …down into the field.

Everyone applauds. Lovely, lovely.

- Is there a problem? - No.

Come on.

- We'll look after her. - Good luck.

Tony. I'm pregnant.

Huh? Speak up, woman.

I'm pregnant.

Oh, you are the face of two prime-time television shows.

This is hugely inconvenient. Well, we'll have to start auditioning

for replacements on Monday then, Deirdre.

Come along then. Let's get you up in the plane.

No. I can't. Tony, I can't.

I have four camera crews, 12 photographers,

the whole of Rutshire waiting for a fucking surprise.

Who's going to jump out the bloody plane, then?

So we haven't long to go, it's the final chukka,

can the Jones Jets beat off the Remington Steelers and win?

- It is Campbell-Black on the offside. - Come on, Rupert!

- Attack Rupert! - That's a lovely bit of work by him.

- All the way! - Look, and they can't ride him off…

They can't do it. They're struggling to get hold of him and he's still there.

Campbell-Black going right bang. He's going to have a final shot at goal!

- Go, go, go! - Come on!

He's gonna score from there to win the Rutshire Cup…

And that's a goal!

- A beautiful goal by Rupert. - Yes!

The Jones Jets are winners of the Rutshire Cup.

Yes!

Right, come on, my loves. Well done, you. Congratulations.

- Yeah! It's good to see you. - Well done, Freddie.

- Lovely. Thank you. - Will that be all, madam?

And a lager for Mr Jones, please.

He looks thirsty.

Can you put it in there for me?

I can't stop thinking about you.

Me too.

It's like a beautiful dream I had.

Fred-Fred!

- Didn't he do well? - He was wonderful.

Well played, Freddie.

I worried he was too tubby for polo, eh? That poor horse!

Could you, er, take a picture of us?

- Come, give the camera to Mrs Vereker. - Oh, no.

- Okay. I'm not great with these, uh… - All right, stand in the middle.

- Just press the top button? - No slouching, Sharon.

- Uh, say, "Cheese". - Cheese.

Lovely.

Come on, you got…

Sharon, you look nice. You look slim when you stand up straight.

There you go. Lovely. All right, shall we go get another drink?

- Lizzie. - No. No, Freddie.

You've walked off with Val's camera.

Oh, God. Sorry.

I think it's best we keep away from each other.

It's gonna be quite hard, us being neighbours now and everything.

It's hurting my heart.

My lords, ladies and gentlemen.

Some quiet please.

We are delighted as ever to host you all here in the grounds of our humble home.

And this year, with even more joy in our hearts

than usual because…

The day Hermione and I thought would never arrive…

- No. - …Is finally on the horizon.

After her sterling work for the Spastics

and rebuilding that school in… Ghana?

- Ghana. - Yeah. Our beloved Caroline

is getting married.

Bravo!

We are delighted to announce

the engagement of our daughter, Caroline Margaret…

Yes.

…to Mr Gerald Middleton.

Come up, Gerald.

To Gerald and Muffy, everyone.

To Gerald and Muffy!

Oh, it's beautiful.

Right, have a fantastic afternoon everybody.

It's been a wonderful day for Corinium.

And, personally, may I say how fabulous it is

- to have you back at the helm, Tony? - Stronger than ever.

None the worse for my little adventure.

Ah, yes.

And, um, before Corinium's big surprise today,

just to confirm for some concerned viewers at home,

uh, this was an accident.

It wasn't due to any foul play?

I slipped on the steps outside Corinium. Entirely my own fault.

Perhaps I should wear trainers instead of brogues in future.

Well, thank you for putting all our minds at rest.

- Welcome. - And cut.

- Terrific, Tony. Excellent. As always. - Well done, James.

Thanks, Tony.

Glad we got the truth on record.

No threat of police for me, no public scandal for you.

Win-win, right?

- Congratulations. - Hold on, guys.

Thank you.

You stayed ahead of the game.

Mm-hmm, I did.

There it is.

That's the one I was supposed to be in.

Mikey, Mikey, shoot this.

Oh, okay!

Right. There, roll on the parachute.

Very good!

And finally, to today's Rutshire Cup

at the Hampshire estate,

with this exclusive footage brought to us by Venturer Television.

The match was won by satellite technology mogul.

Freddie Jones's Jones Jets,

with Mrs Thatcher's Minister for Sport, Rupert Campbell-Black, back in action,

helping to score the winning goal.

And the behind-the-scenes fiasco Tony Baddingham didn't want you to see,

as a Corinium employee humiliates himself

after crash landing his parachute into a tree.

Poor chap.

I hope he's all right.

In the ITV franchise battle between television titan Corinium

and the newly formed Venturer Television,

it was Venturer who won the day.

What?

May I speak with you, Tony?

Oh, this is getting extremely dull, Sarah.

If you want to keep your job,

your little inconvenience needs to be flushed away.

It's yours.

It's your baby, Tony.

Off you go.

Long day, darling.

What's for dinner?

Um…

I have to admit, today was embarrassing.

- Oh, darling. I'm sorry. - No, not for me. For you.

You let her humiliate you in front of our friends.

In front of your children.

I defied my father and my whole family

when I agreed to exchange this house for your surname, Tony.

There will be no more lies.

Or I will hurt you far more than any mistress ever could.

You want to win so badly,

you make yourself very easy to beat.

Come on, dogs.

Come on.

Why didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me you were Gerry's chum?

I-I just can't believe it.

We're going to be a proper little gang, the three of us.

Well, the four of us.

This must be what love does to you.

I'd completely forgotten about David.

I hope he's not mounting Gertrude in the garden.

Oh, sorry. Mmm.

Oh!

You should have told me she was Henry's daughter.

I'm sorry, Charles. I wanted to speak to you first.

And tell me you're into Muffy?

I like her.

Do you think it'll work?

Our plan?

Worth a try, isn't it?

I mean, they were exciting, the last two chukkas.

Well, I've played some chukkas in my time…

Thank you, angel.

We did it.

You did it.

How did you manage to hold your nerve?

Oh, I held on to Rupert.

And waited until Tony publicly absolved me.

If he goes to the police now, he'll just look foolish.

- Tony would never let that happen. - We'd better be careful.

He'll be out for blood.

Glad you got out alive though.

Well, I got out alive, but without my car or my apartment.

Well, you're coming to live with me.

Penscombe Court.

You mean that?

Of course.

You know what, I'll just, um… I'll be back in a second.

Taggie. I need to explain.

Cameron came to me for protection.

I had to get her away quickly. Keep her safe from Tony.

Do the right thing.

I'm trying to behave honourably.

Oh!

Did you sleep with her immediately,

or did you honourably hold off for one night?

I was already sleeping with Cameron before I kissed you.

- Well, then you shouldn't have kissed me! - No, I shouldn't have kissed you!

It's true what everyone says about you.

You aren't capable of love.

- Tag. - Please, get out of my kitchen.

People say that life isn't a fairy tale.

That happy ever after doesn't exist.

But what if you just haven't found the person

who will give you your happy ending?

It's up to you to give yourself the love you deserve.

However, be prepared.

With love may also come war,

and every war has its casualties.

Welcome home.

That's peculiar.

Dogs!

Get the fuck out of my house.

You know it's only a matter of time before he ditches you, Cameron.

Six days, six weeks. Mmm.

He might even keep you six months

till Venturer finally don't get the franchise.

Then he'll kick you out like all the rest.

Why are you here, Tony?

Oh…

I brought you a house-warming present.

I don't need evidence to punish you.

The retribution I have planned will be far more painful.

This is gonna be fun.