Original subtitles

[Music]

who would pay good money for this load

of junk beats me some people are

gullible enough to fall for anything

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attack of the evil roommate

foreign

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oh if i skip the gym that'll give me

half an hour to study for my history

quiz oh then i can finish my paper

between classes oh but that still

doesn't leave me any time to prepare for

my audition

this better be important of course it's

important my super cool supernatural

artifact from awesomejunk.com just

arrived sorry martin but i'm way too

busy to care about you and your discount

paranormal junk today that's not

discount paranormal junk awesome

paranormal junk weren't you listening

don't you knock if i had there's a good

chance you wouldn't let me in

duh kind of the point

okay check it out maybe this is a

talisman from some long forgotten tribe

or an ancient advertisement for cloning

huh martin i have a paper due in three

hours a dozen cupcakes to bake for the

tourington overachievers club and a

theater audition to prepare for i don't

have time for this oh speaking of time

shouldn't you be in french class right

now

oh no i'm supposed to be giving an oral

presentation on the eiffel tower

i wish there were two of me that way one

diana could stay here and put up with

your inane chatter while the other one

actually made it to class

sheesh somebody sure woke up on the

wrong side of the bed today

[Music]

we'll finish construction on the tower

in 1889. to mark the centennial of the

french revolution

how can i be in there when i'm standing

out here

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i must be seeing things i must be

hallucinating this can't be real

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why am i in the infirmary what's going

on looks like you passed out in french

class

you don't remember i was on my way to

french class

1889 to mark the centennial of the

french revolution but i was already

there it was me oh but how is that

possible when when i'm me hmm that bump

is worse than i thought you'd better

stay overnight for observation

oh no i've already lost three hours i'm

sorry but i have to go i have way too

much stuff to do

[Music]

oh what's all this awesome junk supposed

to do

i'm guessing this wooden staff was used

thousands of years ago to summon

mystical forces you know marty it's not

a good idea to mess with mystical forces

and trust me i wasn't always this small

no worries i know what i'm doing

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guess i should have paid extra for the

instructions huh

yep

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my paper is done so is my laundry

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freshly baked cupcakes that confirms it

i must be going crazy

you're not going crazy i did all of this

ah who are you what do you want and why

do you look exactly like me you wish

there were two of you and now there are

cupcake no i don't want a cupcake i want

to know who you are and where you came

from

wait my wish i should have known

martin's stupid artifacts would wreak

havoc on my life but i haven't wreaked

havoc on anything i'm here to help you

this is just too weird i'm reporting you

to the center right away

but with me around you'll finally have

time to prepare for your theater

audition

and we both know how important that is

to you

well i would love to get that part

then just think of me as the roommate

that keeps on giving by the way when i

was cleaning up i found your missing

lipstick

how did you know about that

die i'm you i know everything

all right you can stay just remember you

work for me do anything without my

permission and i'm reporting you to the

center i'll be on my best behavior

promise

good because i'm late for my audition

[Music]

how can a girl like me from the wrong

side of the tracks ever hope to go to

some fancy school i'll never be able to

pay the tuition

hello

is anybody there

are you okay do you need me to call a

doctor

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relax jen you've just freaked yourself

out

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how can a girl like me from the wrong

side of the tracks

ever hope to go to some fancy school

i'll never

okay i've heard all i need to hear

because you've got the part

[Music]

thank you thank you thank you you won't

regret this

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oh wait what about jenny she's supposed

to audition right after me

unfortunately jenny spranderanklin had

to pull out at the last minute

oh that's awful i hope she's okay

it's just a minor sprain looks like

today is your lucky day

maybe it's an old-fashioned genius

lantern you know rub it and make a wish

only one way to find out

i wish that jenny would appear

and lay one on me

[Music]

you're not the one i was hoping for

stupid lantern

[Laughter]

were you just laughing at diana

and no

i was just laughing well you won't be

laughing when i'm through with you whoa

crazy there die

yeah what's your problem you're acting

like a total head case today get out of

my way

don't you dare touch billy you're bob

michelle you know it's one thing to be

mad at me but billy has not done a

single thing you're really making diana

angry

hey

what'd you do that for and why are you

calling yourself diana

i give up i give up

i think you two are taking the sibling

rivalry thing a little too far don't

tell me tell her

you're never gonna believe what just

happened

you attacked me in your crazed hormonal

fury and pinned me in a very painful

wrestling hold what's he rambling about

after what just happened i'm staying out

of this

and i thought i was crazy anyway i just

came to tell you that i got the part in

tuition you're looking at torrington's

next leading lady

congratulations dai don't congratulate

her not after what she just did to me

can't you ever be happy for me martin

mystery remind me to give away your

ticket for opening night

you know you may be from another planet

billy but teenage chicks are the real

aliens hmm

i've got great news your plan worked i

got the part

uh d2

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i've got straight a's how is that

possible when the semester's barely

started

i hacked into the torrington mainframe

and changed your grades with school

covered for the next few months you'll

have more free time than you ever

thought possible i don't want free time

if it means lying and cheating you have

to change it back trust me i know what's

best for you that's why i eliminated the

competition at your theater audition

you mean

you hurt jenny that's it i'm calling the

center right now

huh

what's happening

[Music]

go away you hear me i don't want your

help anymore we're not going anywhere

you may not be

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man it's hard shaking clothes to think

exactly like you

[Music]

hey diana hey jerry no time to talk

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cool i never knew diana was a quadruplet

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come on girls

it's me diana can we talk about this the

time for talking is over

in that case

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uh maybe if i drop it something will

happen

at this point anything's worth a try

oh sorry i guess i should have looked

where i was dropping it first huh hurry

help me move your desk in front of the

door

why did you practice your wrestling

holds on some other unsuspecting

classmates

remember when i wished for two of me

well i got my wish only now there are

four who's doing the rambling now huh

seriously martin i think one of your

stupid artifacts caused this maybe that

twins thingy how could my twin statues

caused this when you smashed it to

smithereens no i didn't yes you did you

knocked the box out of my hands and

didn't even stay to help clean it up

what are we gonna do

i'm sorry since when is there a wii here

if we don't leave now simply rivalry

will be the least of our problems

i think you're right we can escape

through here

and i thought i was bad in the morning

over here

[Music]

mom what are you doing here a friend of

mine at the world space agency just

named a star after me your dorm is the

ideal geographical spot to view it

now if i could only decipher these

ridiculously complicated star maps we've

kind of got other things on our minds

namely diana and her evil monster clones

evil monster clones martin bought this

artifact online that were pretty sure

spawned evil twins of yours truly oh so

now this is my fault yes of course it is

if you think this artifact may be

responsible has anyone bothered to look

it up in the legend x

i was just getting to that

you watch activated legend x selected

says here the statues of gemini the

twins which represents the many facets

of one's personality when diana broke

the statue it must have created diana

replicas hmm

now that you mention it i remember

something like this happening to one of

our field agents in sector alpha 6. how

many pieces were there of the statue

like 10 i think you mean there are 10

clones of me running around school

this is so not good agreed one of you is

more than enough

the only way to stop these things is to

restore the statue well that sounds easy

enough

only i might have accidentally uh thrown

all the pieces out what

i suggest you go to the garbage room

asap i'll tell java to meet you there

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java here diane and martin don't have to

be scared of monsters anymore

no just the garbage

man that rakes

ugh first i escaped down a garbage chute

now i'm in a garbage room

next to being here

well we wouldn't be here in the first

place if you hadn't broke the statue

don't even try to blame this on me

martin come on we gotta hurry

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oh better not get this sturdy we don't

have time to worry about your stupid you

watch hey why don't you use your you

watch to scan for the pieces if they're

truly paranormal in origin they should

glow oh great thinking billy

you watch activated

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look there we are who wants to be the

first in i vote for dyer

[Applause]

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i think we've got them

oh please don't say uh oh say yay it

worked still missing head

there's nothing else here the missing

piece must still be in my room

never were very good at cleaning up

after yourself

company

look now there's even more of them i

need me

well then that's just more evil diana

butt from me to what

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go back to your room and find the

missing pieces

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simple and effective

java don't mess around

this is not how i had it planned

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[Applause]

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hi there roomie didn't expect to see you

here don't do it die it was because of

me that you got an a plus on your eiffel

tower presentation and the lead in the

play

you also hurt jenny with friends like

you i don't need enemies that was a

simple misunderstanding i was trying to

talk to her when she tripped and fell

don't you like having me around uh sure

it was nice having someone around to

pick up the slack but oh i get it now

that you've gotten what you need you're

just gonna throw me away i didn't say

that then let me stay i promise together

we'll be an unstoppable team that's kind

of what i'm afraid of

give it back you're me so you have to

listen

diana please don't do this goodbye

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[Applause]

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a perfect strike and i said bowling

class was a waste of time

yeah who's the man

right on the money

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i've definitely learned my lesson this

time no more awesomejunk.com artifacts

good i'm glad to hear that

by the way who are you talking to

yes that's right i'd like two of the

ancient indian divining rods and one of

the sumerian strength medallions

okay then bye-bye i thought you said no

more artifacts i said no more

awesomejunk.com artifacts this time i

got the idea from the back of a comic

oh brother

oh hey jenny

how's the ankle feeling

bad news is i have to stay off it for a

while good news is i can still run lines

with torrington's newest leading lady ah

thanks but i've decided to drop out of

the play why

you wanted that part more than anything

it's all you've been talking about for

weeks let's just say it was more work

than one diana could handle i've decided

not to split myself up so much in the

future

hey maybe one of my sumerian strength

medalies would help they should be here

any day now

don't even think about it martin

[Music]

you