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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:34,567 (Cheering) 4 00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:41,574 Hello, everybody. 5 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:43,576 Er, my name is Richard Osman. 6 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:46,913 If you don't recognise me, then congratulations on having a full-time job. 7 00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:48,281 (Laughter) 8 00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:50,617 I suppose I should explain why I'm here. 9 00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:53,486 Now, the winner of this award was nominated by Anthony Walker, 10 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,422 over there on table two. 11 00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:56,523 Hello, Anthony. 12 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,525 Er, no, I was present, of course, 13 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,660 when Anthony and Katherine madePointlesshistory 14 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,329 and we've stayed in touch ever since. 15 00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:06,332 - So, shall we do this? - (Shouts of encouragement and whistling) 16 00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:09,636 I am so delighted to announce that the winner 17 00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:13,106 of the Phoenix Turnaround Award is... 18 00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:15,308 ..Mick Woodfield! 19 00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:17,677 (Cheering) 20 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,351 Wooo! 21 00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:28,722 (She whistles) 22 00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:37,497 (He clears his throat) 23 00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:45,939 (He clears his throat) 24 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,410 This ought to be the s-s-s... 25 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,212 (He clears his throat) 26 00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:53,446 Sorry. 27 00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:58,718 This ought to be the s-s-s-s... 28 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,620 ..the s-s-second... 29 00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:02,589 ..speech that I've, erm... 30 00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:05,392 ..I've made in my life, but... 31 00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:06,626 ..but it isn't. 32 00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:11,398 It's the f... 33 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,669 ..f-f-f-first and, erm... 34 00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:20,240 ..and Anthony will know all about that. 35 00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:21,708 (Whooping and whistling) 36 00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:23,343 Erm... 37 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,250 I've n... 38 00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:32,752 ..n-n-n-never won anything in my life before, 39 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,622 so I'm thrilled to have won this. 40 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,390 But I'm... 41 00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:39,793 ..I'm not gonna take it. 42 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,663 I'm gonna give it to the man who deserves it 43 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,532 far more than I do. 44 00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:49,969 I'm gonna give it to Anthony Walker. 45 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:54,674 (Cheering and applause) 46 00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:24,771 WOMAN: Daddy, yeah! 47 00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:26,439 MAN:Big Issue,please. 48 00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:27,707 Big Issue,please. 49 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,043 Cheers, mate. 50 00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:35,815 - It's me last one, you know. - No, you're not on, mate. 51 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:37,851 - What? - Give me the paper. 52 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,620 - Just saying, it's me last one. - I've seen this before, mate. 53 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:43,490 - But you'll be leaving me with nothing. - I've seen this scam before. 54 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:46,092 Look, what you do to get your money, that's your business, mate. 55 00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:48,795 But this is out of order. Selling this paper's a great initiative. 56 00:03:48,828 --> 00:03:50,530 - Anthony, leave it. - I can't leave it. 57 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,732 It's great, mate, and you're ruining it for everyone 58 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,568 and I'm not gonna let that happen. So, can I have that paper, please? 59 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,837 - You're upsetting the baby. - I'm not upsetting the baby. 60 00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,839 - It's me last one. - You've only ever had one. 61 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,108 I know the scam. 62 00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:06,346 Look, what you're doing is begging, and this was designed to stop people begging. 63 00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:07,647 So, can I have that paper, please? 64 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,516 - (Baby fusses) - Give me her. 65 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,785 - Can I have it, please? - Take your money back. 66 00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:14,521 - I don't want me money. I want the paper. - I can't give you it. 67 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:17,424 Fine. 68 00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:18,725 Anthony... 69 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,493 - What are you doing? - I'm calling the police. 70 00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,863 Come on, pal. Come on. 71 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,700 - If I give you this, I'm goosed. - If you don't, you're goosed. 72 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:28,735 - MAN:What's the emergency? - Police, please. 73 00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:32,539 You don't even recognise me, do you? 74 00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:34,641 Should I? 75 00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:35,709 I'm M-M-M... 76 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,612 I'm M-M-M... 77 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:40,914 Mick? 78 00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:45,518 - Mick! - Come on. Just come on. Come on, lad. 79 00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:46,720 Mick... 80 00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:47,754 Mick! 81 00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:08,475 WOMAN: God, look at you! 82 00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:09,876 Look! Hello? 83 00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:11,378 - How are you? - Hey, I'm good. 84 00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:12,779 - How are you, love? Are you OK? - Yeah. 85 00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,525 She's beautiful. 86 00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:29,729 - So's she. How old is she now? - She's four. 87 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:30,964 Four?! 88 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:32,832 Wow... 89 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,434 Yeah. 90 00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,603 - What's her name? - Luighseach. 91 00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,972 - That's beautiful. - It's Irish. 92 00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:40,807 It's lovely. 93 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,444 So, I'm... 94 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,480 ..guessing you've seen him, then. 95 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:48,615 Yeah. 96 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:51,851 How did he look? 97 00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:58,992 Was he begging? 98 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:01,928 As good as. 99 00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,467 Is he always there? 100 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,868 Erm... 101 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,437 Of a day, yeah. 102 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:11,871 And then... 103 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,707 ..I think Canbury Street of a night. 104 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,546 What happened? 105 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,682 What didn't? 106 00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,618 Erm... 107 00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:28,621 He just... You know, he just drank more and more. 108 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,024 He'd, like... 109 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,992 He'd go on a bender 110 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:36,596 and then he'd stay off it for, like, four or five days. 111 00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:39,032 But then, you know, the days off just got fewer and fewer 112 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,202 and, in the end, it was just, like, one big bender. 113 00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:45,872 And then, erm... 114 00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:51,878 So, he did something to me one night. 115 00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,986 It's not the reason that I threw him out. 116 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,958 It was the look on her face when he did it. 117 00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:11,064 Anyway, he wants to come back. 118 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,665 Erm... 119 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,970 But then he wants to drink as well, so... 120 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,775 And I think he wants to drink more than he wants to come back. 121 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,600 I knew you'd do this. 122 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,770 Can I bring him back here? 123 00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:52,906 Yes. 124 00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:55,108 Oh, I love you to bits, you know! 125 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,110 (He chuckles) 126 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,964 (Street noise is muted) 127 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:24,304 (Distant whooping and laughter) 128 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,814 (Women yelp and laugh) 129 00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:47,994 All right? 130 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,596 - All right? - Yeah. 131 00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:50,730 Hey... 132 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:52,999 Helen told me you'd be here. 133 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,869 - What, y-y-you talked to her? - Yeah. 134 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,739 Did you hit her? 135 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,676 I'm not getting into this. 136 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,011 - Ah, get off me, lad. - Did you hit her? Did you hit her? 137 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,079 Get off me! 138 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,180 Any spare change, lads? 139 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,049 You're coming with me, mate. 140 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,084 - Lads, any spare change? - Leave him, leave him, he's fine. 141 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,185 Leave him. 142 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,953 - You're coming with me. - Yeah? Where? 143 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,423 Ours. There's a bed there for you. A shower. Hot food. 144 00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,024 Any spare change, please, ladies? 145 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,826 Hey, he's not homeless. He's not homeless. 146 00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,428 This lad's got a house on Gorsford Road 147 00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,430 - with a woman who loves him. - Anthony, piss off! 148 00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,832 He's got a four-year-old daughter. A four-year-old. 149 00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:28,168 And he doesn't see either of them cos he'd sooner get pissed. 150 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,437 If you give him money, you're enabling him to do that, 151 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,906 - you're depriving a child of her father. - I'm warning you. 152 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:34,441 I'm warning you. 153 00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,743 I'm going nowhere, Mick. I'm going nowhere without you. 154 00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,813 D... 155 00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:41,147 D... 156 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,849 - D-D-D... - Do one? 157 00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:45,185 D-D-Do one, lad, yeah. 158 00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:48,121 Because you're this far from getting a smack. So, just do one, yeah? 159 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,027 - Let's go. Come on, Mick. - I'm warning you, it's your last chance. 160 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,195 I'm not going, Mick. 161 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:04,771 (She sighs) 162 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:08,208 Why are you always getting into scrapes, boy? 163 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,110 I'm fine, I'm fine. 164 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,811 (She sighs) 165 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,146 I'm just ready to go home. 166 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,883 Oh, come here. 167 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,253 Beautiful girl! 168 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,088 Come here. 169 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,725 It's from Mick. 170 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,126 He says sorry. 171 00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:18,945 - Can you spare any change, please, mate? - Why the note? 172 00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:20,213 Any change, lad? 173 00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:22,115 Hey, I'll tell you why. 174 00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:24,217 Cos you were too ashamed to do it face to face, 175 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,853 or you couldn't be arsed to do it face to face, 176 00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:29,322 or you didn't have the bottle to do it face to face. 177 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,758 And I think you didn't have the bottle. 178 00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:34,327 Mick Woodfield, cock of the school, didn't have the bottle. 179 00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:36,029 Any spare change, please, mate? 180 00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:37,330 That's what that stuff's doing to you. 181 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:39,332 I can't just watch you do this to yourself, Mick. 182 00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:41,101 And spare change, please, lads? 183 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,902 Hey, don't you dare give this lad money! 184 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,771 Don't you dare drop a bit of shrapnel 185 00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:46,172 cos it makes you feel good about yourselves. 186 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,108 Cos the more you do it, the more he begs. 187 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,342 Can you help us out, lads? 188 00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:51,177 Get off him! 189 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,346 Would you treat your own mate like a dog begging for a bone? 190 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,948 No, you wouldn't, would you? 191 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,819 Chin me again, Mick. Chin me again! 192 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:02,022 Cos I'm going nowhere unless you come with me. 193 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,535 You stink, Mick. 194 00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:17,804 It's the dog. 195 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,149 (Knock on bathroom door) 196 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,391 What should I do with these? 197 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,418 Anthony... 198 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,287 Anthony? 199 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,421 He's not there. 200 00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:10,323 - Just the dog. - What? 201 00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,893 Look, could you just, erm...? 202 00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:16,262 (He sighs) 203 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,032 Mick? 204 00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,233 Mick? 205 00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:23,269 Anthony! 206 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,310 It was too soft. 207 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,846 All right, Pops. 208 00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:36,016 Here you are lad, hey? 209 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,251 (Dog yaps) 210 00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,088 I went to AA. 211 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,925 - Yeah? - Yeah. But I, er... 212 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,994 I couldn't, erm... 213 00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:51,164 ..t-t-t-talk, though. 214 00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:55,935 They kept on going on about how hard it is to come out as an alcoholic, but it's... 215 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,705 ..but it's even harder to come out as a st-st-st... 216 00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:01,274 ..as a st-st-stammerer. 217 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,345 This is nice. 218 00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,147 Mum's speciality. 219 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,948 Halle Berry. 220 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,383 - You what? - That's what we called it. 221 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,152 Halle Berry. 222 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,054 - Why? - Cos it's lovely. 223 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,489 - Like her, I assume? - Yeah. 224 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:20,260 - And Caribbean. - She's American. 225 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,195 - What? - Her mum's from Toxteth. 226 00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:23,363 But she's American. 227 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,332 - Oh. - What's her name? 228 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:30,337 - Luighseach. - Irish? 229 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,238 Yeah. 230 00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:42,982 (Train horn honks) 231 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:45,952 Tickets, please! 232 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,125 - What? - I'm looking forward to this. 233 00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:55,962 Incisors. Like a knife through butter. 234 00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:57,197 Tickets, please. 235 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,069 Lovely, thank you. 236 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,272 Thank you. 237 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:09,209 - Not one plop will drop. - Go on, then. 238 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:15,215 Oh...! 239 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,549 Oh, God! 240 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:17,751 Oh! 241 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,424 What? 242 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:26,726 Oh! 243 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,796 - What is it? - Oh! Oh! 244 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,798 - What is it? - Are you all right, love? 245 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,433 - Are you OK, love? - Oh, no... 246 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,036 - Is there anything I can do? - (She cries out) 247 00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,370 I think my waters have broken. 248 00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:38,571 - No... - (She groans) 249 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,040 This is not funny. 250 00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:45,211 - No! - All we needed was this to happen. 251 00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,080 - I think she's coming! - Oh, God! Oh, God! 252 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,382 (She cries out) 253 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,084 Hey, shh... 254 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,086 - Anthony, do something! Do something! - Do what? 255 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,593 Is there a nurse or a doctor on board, please? 256 00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:03,596 Is there a nurse or a doctor on board, please? 257 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,199 A nurse or a doctor on board, please? 258 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:10,603 Is there a...? 259 00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:12,772 A nurse or a doctor on board, please? 260 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,447 Sand stuck to her bikini. 261 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,416 She was excited at the prospect of Sam sticking... 262 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,585 Is there a nurse or a doctor on board, please? 263 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,587 Yeah, hi. Hi, hello. Hi. 264 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,423 I'm a midwife. Can I help? 265 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:33,193 (Train horn honks) 266 00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,261 Aarrgghh...! 267 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,597 - Good girl, good girl, good girl. - You're doing so, so well. 268 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,100 - You're doing so well. - And breathe... 269 00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,168 - (She blows out) - Breathe... 270 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,171 - What's your name? - Luighseach. 271 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,473 Lovely name. 272 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,275 And push! 273 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:51,277 Good girl. Good girl. Nearly there. 274 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,146 - Nearly there. - You're doing so well. 275 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,382 Good, good, good girl, good girl. Nearly there. 276 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,550 - Nearly there. - Babe, you're doing so well. 277 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,452 - Good, good, good. - You're doing so well. 278 00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:01,221 - Aarrgghh...! - That's it! That's it! 279 00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,489 Oh, so good! 280 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,826 All right, look at me. 281 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:11,631 Next push, next time, she'll be here. 282 00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,066 I promise you. 283 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,101 OK? 284 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,636 What's it mean, Luighseach? 285 00:17:16,670 --> 00:17:18,304 Torchbearer. 286 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:21,307 Where there is dark, Luighseach brings light. 287 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,412 OK, and push! 288 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,213 Push! Good girl! 289 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,616 That's it, that's it. Keep going, keep going, keep going. 290 00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,151 She's coming! 291 00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,552 She's coming! She's coming! She's coming! 292 00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:34,521 Aarrgghh...! 293 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,122 She's coming! 294 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,557 Push now, here she comes. 295 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,492 Here she comes. Here she comes. 296 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,661 Oh, good girl. Just... Oh, she's here! 297 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,197 (Baby cries) 298 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,265 Oh, hello! 299 00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:47,334 Here she is. 300 00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,503 She's gorgeous. She can't wait to meet you. 301 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,505 Oh... 302 00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:53,873 Oh, wow! 303 00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:57,477 (Baby coos) 304 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,516 It was a baby girl, ladies and gentlemen. 305 00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,685 (Cheering) 306 00:18:05,719 --> 00:18:08,555 And how many times do you hear this on a British train? 307 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,957 She arrived two weeks early! 308 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,392 (Cheering) 309 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,198 (Phone rings) 310 00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,466 Hello? 311 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,434 Hey, Mum. Hey, we've just had the baby. 312 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:24,237 We've just had a beautiful, beautiful baby girl. 313 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,706 Can you believe that? We've just had a baby! 314 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,752 (Baby coos) 315 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,353 ANTHONY: Hello, Grandma. 316 00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,225 (Baby starts to cry) 317 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,397 - Can I? - Yeah. 318 00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,365 (Baby coos and gurgles) 319 00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,671 She's beautiful. 320 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,979 So beautiful. 321 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,591 Thank you. 322 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,260 Thank you. 323 00:19:21,795 --> 00:19:24,464 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 324 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,003 Thank you. 325 00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:34,207 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 326 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,744 Thank you. 327 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,314 Ah goo-goo! 328 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,782 Ah goo-goo! 329 00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:44,584 Pah, pah, pah, pah, pah! 330 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,052 Ga ga ga ga gaga! 331 00:19:46,086 --> 00:19:47,587 Burrrrr! 332 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:48,988 Ah burrrrr! 333 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,258 Ah...! 334 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,560 Ah! 335 00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,295 How's my baba? 336 00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,596 Ba ba ba ba baba! 337 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,531 Obviously, I'm her godmother. 338 00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,600 Assuming Mick won't do it, of course. 339 00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:02,669 My baba. 340 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,612 - I just can't do it, Ant. I can't. - Why? 341 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:13,713 Why? 342 00:20:13,747 --> 00:20:15,415 He's too shy. 343 00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,450 - Why leave it till now to tell me? - I'm sorry. 344 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:19,853 - The wedding's tomorrow, for God's sake. - I'll do it. 345 00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,755 Best man. The clue's in the title. 346 00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,656 You can't ask Jamie cos Danny'll get a cob on. 347 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,658 - I know. - And you can't ask Danny cos of Jamie. 348 00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:26,826 I know! 349 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,795 Oh, Daniel, I cannot believe this. 350 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,830 - I do not believe this! - I am sorry. 351 00:20:30,864 --> 00:20:32,665 Shall I start writing my speech? 352 00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,406 (She mouths) 353 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:40,607 (Car horn toots) 354 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,810 - They're here, babe. - Oh, shit! 355 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,679 Hey! Come here, you. 356 00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,448 Hey! 357 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:49,849 Yay! 358 00:20:49,883 --> 00:20:51,751 - How are you, babe? Nice to see you. - Hiya! 359 00:20:51,785 --> 00:20:53,353 Hello! 360 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:55,488 - This is my missus Helen. - Nice to meet you. 361 00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:56,823 Hello. 362 00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,326 She's a little madam. 363 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,795 You are gorgeous, aren't you? 364 00:21:02,796 --> 00:21:05,131 - Wine? - Yeah, if you're having one. 365 00:21:05,165 --> 00:21:06,800 Katherine? 366 00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:08,435 Yes, please. 367 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:09,869 Can I have your beautiful eyes? 368 00:21:09,903 --> 00:21:11,671 - Babe? - No. 369 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,141 How old is she? 370 00:21:15,175 --> 00:21:16,710 Er, she was two last week. 371 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:19,646 Hey! 372 00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:21,514 - Coming in. - Cheers, mate. 373 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,583 - Congratulations, you. - Thank you. 374 00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:28,888 Oh, my God, is that it? 375 00:21:28,922 --> 00:21:30,523 We saw you on the telly. 376 00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:32,492 - Famous now, hey? - Beautiful. 377 00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:34,694 - That's what we've come about. - Yeah. 378 00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:36,162 Are yous coming tomorrow? 379 00:21:36,196 --> 00:21:37,897 Of course, yeah. Of course we are. 380 00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,866 Well... 381 00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:41,901 ..Daniel was supposed to be best man, but he's just pulled out. 382 00:21:41,935 --> 00:21:43,937 - Yeah? - Yeah. 383 00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:46,439 Remember that night those lads were giving us grief? 384 00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:49,476 - Yeah. - Yeah, well, that was our first date. 385 00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:52,679 And without you, it would've been our last. 386 00:21:53,847 --> 00:21:55,515 So we want you to do it. 387 00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:57,851 To be best man. 388 00:22:02,756 --> 00:22:04,891 - Would he have to make a speech? - Yeah. 389 00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:06,693 Only if he wants to. 390 00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,595 Yeah, well, you can't... 391 00:22:08,628 --> 00:22:10,397 (He clears his throat) 392 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:13,466 You can't be b-b-b-b... 393 00:22:14,868 --> 00:22:17,937 ..be best man and not m-m-m... 394 00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:19,939 - Make a speech. - ..make a speech, yeah. 395 00:22:19,973 --> 00:22:21,574 You can. 396 00:22:21,608 --> 00:22:23,143 It's up to you, mate. 397 00:22:24,811 --> 00:22:27,480 Look, we don't want to put you under any pressure, Mick. 398 00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:29,482 Whatever you do, we'll still be mates. 399 00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:33,987 Yeah, I'll do it. 400 00:22:35,522 --> 00:22:37,424 - Yeah? - Yeah. 401 00:22:37,457 --> 00:22:38,825 - Yeah? - Yeah. 402 00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,460 Oh...! 403 00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:41,961 Oh, mate, come here. 404 00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:44,497 - You're a life-saver. - I'm so made up for you. 405 00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:46,733 - You're gonna be best man. - I'm proud of you, man. 406 00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:47,834 - Best man! - I know! 407 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:48,902 (They laugh) 408 00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:50,804 - Best man! - I know! 409 00:22:50,837 --> 00:22:53,006 Lucy, say congratulations to Auntie Katherine and Uncle Anthony. 410 00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:54,908 Your daddy's gonna be best man! 411 00:23:03,783 --> 00:23:05,218 What is it? 412 00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:08,655 We met at Saint Gabriel's, me and Anthony. 413 00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:10,990 Yeah? 414 00:23:11,024 --> 00:23:13,226 Well, I won't be able to say Saint Gabriel's. 415 00:23:14,761 --> 00:23:16,496 You've just said it. 416 00:23:16,529 --> 00:23:18,698 I won't be able to say it in front of people, babe. 417 00:23:21,001 --> 00:23:22,602 Just say school. 418 00:23:24,637 --> 00:23:26,473 I won't be able to say that, either. 419 00:23:32,879 --> 00:23:34,547 (He exhales slowly) 420 00:23:36,616 --> 00:23:38,952 - (Car horn toots) - Taxi's here! 421 00:23:38,985 --> 00:23:40,553 Right. 422 00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:51,564 (Car horn toots) 423 00:23:58,672 --> 00:23:59,739 (Door closes) 424 00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:04,778 * Never, never will I feel discouraged 425 00:24:05,812 --> 00:24:08,782 * Cos our love's no mystery 426 00:24:09,783 --> 00:24:13,653 * Demonstrating love and affection 427 00:24:13,687 --> 00:24:16,690 * That you give so openly 428 00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:21,661 * I like the way You make me feel about you, baby 429 00:24:21,695 --> 00:24:24,531 * I want the whole wide world to see 430 00:24:25,365 --> 00:24:26,733 * Oh-oh 431 00:24:26,766 --> 00:24:28,668 * You've got the best of my love 432 00:24:28,702 --> 00:24:30,070 * Oh-oh 433 00:24:30,303 --> 00:24:32,972 * You've got the best of my love 434 00:24:33,006 --> 00:24:34,607 * Oh-oh 435 00:24:34,641 --> 00:24:37,077 * You've got the best of my love. * 436 00:24:39,012 --> 00:24:40,880 Dear family and friends, 437 00:24:40,914 --> 00:24:43,016 we assemble here in this blessed place 438 00:24:43,049 --> 00:24:45,118 to witness the union of Anthony and Katherine 439 00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:47,754 in the holy institution of marriage. 440 00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:49,823 If any of you can show just cause 441 00:24:49,856 --> 00:24:52,759 why Anthony and Katherine cannot be lawfully wed... 442 00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:56,596 - (Toddler starts to chatter) - ..speak now or else forever hold your peace. 443 00:24:56,629 --> 00:24:57,997 Come on, shh... 444 00:24:58,031 --> 00:25:00,967 Katherine, do you totally commit to Anthony, 445 00:25:01,001 --> 00:25:03,770 and be all that God and he need you to be? 446 00:25:03,803 --> 00:25:06,806 Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, 447 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,908 in sickness and in health, 448 00:25:08,942 --> 00:25:12,612 and, forsaking all others, be faithful unto him as long as you both shall live? 449 00:25:12,645 --> 00:25:13,880 I do. 450 00:25:13,913 --> 00:25:17,617 Anthony, do you totally commit to Katherine, 451 00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:20,153 and be all that God and she need you to be? 452 00:25:20,387 --> 00:25:23,857 Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, 453 00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:25,959 in sickness and in health, 454 00:25:25,992 --> 00:25:29,129 and, forsaking all others, be faithful unto her as long as you both shall live? 455 00:25:29,162 --> 00:25:30,563 I do. 456 00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:42,942 I, Anthony Walker, do take you, Katherine Docherty, to be my wife. 457 00:25:44,010 --> 00:25:46,646 And I promise before God and these witnesses 458 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,015 to be your loving and faithful husband, 459 00:25:49,049 --> 00:25:54,154 in plenty and in want, in joy and sorrow, in sickness and in health. 460 00:25:55,822 --> 00:25:57,691 It was always you, Katherine. 461 00:25:57,724 --> 00:26:00,160 It will always be you. 462 00:26:00,393 --> 00:26:07,000 I, Katherine Docherty, do take you, Anthony Walker, to be my husband. 463 00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:10,437 And I promise before God and these witnesses 464 00:26:10,470 --> 00:26:13,039 to be your loving and faithful wife, 465 00:26:13,073 --> 00:26:19,979 in plenty and want, in joy and sorrow, in sickness and health. 466 00:26:21,114 --> 00:26:22,982 It was always you, Anthony. 467 00:26:23,016 --> 00:26:25,218 It will always be you. 468 00:26:25,452 --> 00:26:29,723 And we've got two little ones somewhere, I believe, bearing rings. 469 00:26:45,238 --> 00:26:46,940 PRIEST: I give you this ring... 470 00:26:47,907 --> 00:26:49,242 ANTHONY:I give you this ring... 471 00:26:49,476 --> 00:26:51,911 ..as a symbol of my love... ..as a symbol of my love... 472 00:26:51,945 --> 00:26:53,480 ..of all that we have promised... 473 00:26:53,513 --> 00:26:55,015 ..of all that we have promised... 474 00:26:56,282 --> 00:26:57,884 ..and all that we shall share... 475 00:26:57,917 --> 00:26:59,252 ..and all that we shall share... 476 00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:02,922 ..as my wife and my best friend to the end of my days. 477 00:27:02,956 --> 00:27:06,826 ..as my wife and my best friend to the end of our days. 478 00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:12,832 And now you, Katherine. I give you this ring... 479 00:27:12,866 --> 00:27:14,234 I give you this ring... 480 00:27:14,467 --> 00:27:16,736 - ..as a symbol of my love... - ..as a symbol of my love... 481 00:27:16,770 --> 00:27:18,104 ..of all that we have promised.... 482 00:27:18,138 --> 00:27:19,739 ..of all that we have promised... 483 00:27:19,773 --> 00:27:21,074 ..and all that we shall share... 484 00:27:21,107 --> 00:27:22,842 ..and all that we shall share... 485 00:27:22,876 --> 00:27:25,111 - ..as my husband... - ..as my husband... 486 00:27:25,145 --> 00:27:27,247 - ..and my best friend... - ..and my best friend... 487 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,783 - ..to the end of my days. - ..to the end of my days. 488 00:27:31,985 --> 00:27:36,056 Now that Katherine and Anthony have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, 489 00:27:36,089 --> 00:27:39,059 and the giving and receiving of rings, 490 00:27:39,092 --> 00:27:43,129 it is with great joy I now pronounce them husband and wife. 491 00:27:43,163 --> 00:27:46,266 Anthony, you may now kiss the bride. 492 00:27:46,499 --> 00:27:49,135 (Cheering and applause) 493 00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:07,287 The groom and the best man for me, please. Just over here, lads. 494 00:28:09,923 --> 00:28:12,092 - How long is your speech? - I don't know. 495 00:28:12,125 --> 00:28:15,261 Excuse me, can you move out of the frame for me, please, for the groom and best man? 496 00:28:15,295 --> 00:28:16,896 Thank you. 497 00:28:16,930 --> 00:28:18,798 I said 35 minutes. 498 00:28:18,832 --> 00:28:20,333 - What? - We're having a sweep on it. 499 00:28:20,367 --> 00:28:22,869 - I said 35 minutes. - (Camera shutter clicks) 500 00:28:22,902 --> 00:28:24,838 - Lad... - What? 501 00:28:26,139 --> 00:28:28,208 No! No, not cos of that, mate. 502 00:28:28,241 --> 00:28:29,876 Not cos of your stammer. 503 00:28:29,909 --> 00:28:31,311 Smile for us, please, lads. This way. 504 00:28:31,344 --> 00:28:33,046 - (Camera shutter clicks) - Thank you. 505 00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:35,315 Honest, mate, it's got nothing to do with that. Honest. 506 00:28:35,348 --> 00:28:37,117 And one more, please. 507 00:28:37,150 --> 00:28:38,852 - (Camera shutter clicks) - Thank you. 508 00:28:38,885 --> 00:28:40,253 Mick... 509 00:28:40,286 --> 00:28:42,322 And now can we have the bride and the family, please ? 510 00:28:49,195 --> 00:28:50,997 It happens all the time now. 511 00:28:51,031 --> 00:28:53,333 You know, like, guessing how long the best man'll take. 512 00:28:53,366 --> 00:28:54,901 They did it at Pat's. 513 00:28:54,934 --> 00:28:56,136 They didn't. 514 00:28:58,605 --> 00:29:00,340 Well, do you think Anthony would allow it, 515 00:29:00,573 --> 00:29:02,375 making fun of someone cos he's got a stammer? 516 00:29:02,609 --> 00:29:04,244 Do you think he'd just let that go? 517 00:29:07,614 --> 00:29:09,249 Don't do it, then. 518 00:29:09,282 --> 00:29:11,584 If it's got you like this, just say that you can't do it. 519 00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:15,221 Don't drink any more. 520 00:29:16,589 --> 00:29:17,891 Please. 521 00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:28,868 Right in, guys. Right in for me. 522 00:29:31,004 --> 00:29:32,872 Just this way. Here we go... 523 00:29:34,274 --> 00:29:36,343 - Big smiles. - (Camera shutter clicks) 524 00:29:36,376 --> 00:29:38,044 - Dad's not here. - No. 525 00:29:38,078 --> 00:29:39,279 PHOTOGRAPHER: Lovely! 526 00:29:39,312 --> 00:29:41,414 - Should I go and get him? - No. 527 00:29:41,448 --> 00:29:43,850 And another one. That's it. 528 00:29:43,883 --> 00:29:45,218 - (Gong crashes) - Ladies... 529 00:29:45,251 --> 00:29:48,154 Ladies and gentleman, please, take your seats. 530 00:29:48,188 --> 00:29:50,323 Please, take your seats. 531 00:29:50,357 --> 00:29:52,926 The tables are labelled with your names. 532 00:29:52,959 --> 00:29:54,661 Take them as quick as possible. 533 00:29:54,694 --> 00:29:55,929 This way. 534 00:29:57,097 --> 00:29:59,332 - (He coughs and gags) - (Phone buzzes) 535 00:29:59,366 --> 00:30:01,134 (He retches) 536 00:30:01,167 --> 00:30:02,902 (He coughs and gags) 537 00:30:02,936 --> 00:30:04,337 (Phone buzzes) 538 00:30:04,371 --> 00:30:06,206 (He coughs and gags) 539 00:30:06,239 --> 00:30:07,407 (Phone buzzes) 540 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,142 (He coughs) 541 00:30:09,175 --> 00:30:10,944 (Line rings) 542 00:30:12,912 --> 00:30:16,216 (Lively chatter) 543 00:30:16,249 --> 00:30:17,450 I think you're exaggerating. 544 00:30:19,953 --> 00:30:22,422 He eventually made his way up to, like, business manager... 545 00:30:37,237 --> 00:30:40,940 (Jingle rings on phone) 546 00:30:42,308 --> 00:30:43,943 - Hi. - Hey. 547 00:30:43,977 --> 00:30:45,712 - Tell Mick to announce us. - He's not here. 548 00:30:45,745 --> 00:30:48,014 Helen's been ringing him and getting no answer. 549 00:30:48,048 --> 00:30:49,449 Oh, Mick... 550 00:30:50,684 --> 00:30:52,152 - You'll have to do it. - I can't. 551 00:30:52,185 --> 00:30:54,421 - Why not? - It's got to be a man, hasn't it? 552 00:30:54,454 --> 00:30:56,356 Dominique, don't mess about, please! 553 00:30:56,389 --> 00:30:58,158 OK, OK! Bye-bye, right. 554 00:31:03,229 --> 00:31:04,464 (He exhales heavily) 555 00:31:04,698 --> 00:31:06,933 (Side of a glass dings) 556 00:31:06,966 --> 00:31:08,668 Ladies and gentlemen... 557 00:31:09,736 --> 00:31:11,971 ..be upstanding for the bride and groom. 558 00:31:12,005 --> 00:31:14,407 (Cheering and applause) 559 00:31:31,524 --> 00:31:34,427 I'm not taking you, mate. I'm not taking anyone spewing. 560 00:31:34,461 --> 00:31:37,130 Look, you can stand there all you want, but I'm not taking you. 561 00:31:37,163 --> 00:31:39,099 Oi, get off the door. 562 00:31:39,132 --> 00:31:41,001 Hey, if I move off 563 00:31:41,034 --> 00:31:42,535 and you don't shut that door, you're gonna get hurt, aren't you? 564 00:31:48,208 --> 00:31:49,509 Is he with you? I'm not taking him. 565 00:31:49,743 --> 00:31:51,277 That's his spew there. He's not getting in. 566 00:31:51,311 --> 00:31:53,346 I'll take you and the baby, but I'm not taking him. 567 00:31:53,380 --> 00:31:54,414 OK, I'm sorry. 568 00:31:54,447 --> 00:31:56,449 Mick, we're walking. 569 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,055 MICK: Ah, come on! 570 00:32:05,358 --> 00:32:06,793 And finally... 571 00:32:06,826 --> 00:32:09,462 ..saving the best till last, Mum. 572 00:32:10,330 --> 00:32:12,332 (Whooping) 573 00:32:12,365 --> 00:32:16,202 God knows how she's done it over the years, but we have never gone hungry. 574 00:32:16,236 --> 00:32:18,538 There has always been food on her table. 575 00:32:18,772 --> 00:32:21,374 And when we've needed a bit of extra discipline, 576 00:32:21,408 --> 00:32:24,544 and some of us have needed it more than others, Dominique... 577 00:32:24,577 --> 00:32:26,146 (Laughter) 578 00:32:29,282 --> 00:32:31,084 ..she's disciplined us. 579 00:32:33,053 --> 00:32:35,588 And when we've needed a bit of encouragement, 580 00:32:35,622 --> 00:32:38,124 a hug maybe, 581 00:32:38,158 --> 00:32:40,093 that's been there as well. 582 00:32:41,094 --> 00:32:43,096 She's amazing. 583 00:32:43,129 --> 00:32:45,365 And I'd like to propose a toast to her. 584 00:32:47,334 --> 00:32:48,835 To Mum! 585 00:32:48,868 --> 00:32:50,170 To Gee.! 586 00:32:51,137 --> 00:32:54,274 (Cheering and applause) 587 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:04,784 (MUSIC:The Hustleby Jonathan Dix, Stephen Collins, Marcel Bolano, Merrick Day) 588 00:33:51,364 --> 00:33:53,099 I'm getting a drink, do you want one? 589 00:33:53,133 --> 00:33:54,367 Yeah, I'll have a lager, please. 590 00:33:54,401 --> 00:33:55,869 Yeah, I don't mind. 591 00:34:03,209 --> 00:34:05,145 Mm, why New York? 592 00:34:05,178 --> 00:34:07,247 Why not somewhere warm for your honeymoon? 593 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,549 Oh, I like New York. I'm gonna live there one day. 594 00:34:09,582 --> 00:34:11,151 Mm. 595 00:34:11,184 --> 00:34:13,520 - What are you getting? - Lager and a G&T. 596 00:34:13,553 --> 00:34:16,189 - Go and sit down, I'll bring you them. - No, you're OK. 597 00:34:18,892 --> 00:34:20,560 - Everything all right? - Yeah. 598 00:34:23,296 --> 00:34:25,432 - I think you should've mentioned your dad. - Hey! 599 00:34:25,465 --> 00:34:27,500 - He should have. - I'm sorry. 600 00:34:27,534 --> 00:34:29,602 - You see him every week. - Sit down. 601 00:34:29,636 --> 00:34:31,538 - I'm just saying. - Sit down. 602 00:34:31,571 --> 00:34:33,273 I'll bring them. 603 00:34:35,709 --> 00:34:38,345 - What are you getting? - A pint and a half of lager. 604 00:34:38,378 --> 00:34:40,113 - I'll bring them. - I'm fine. 605 00:34:45,552 --> 00:34:47,520 I'm sorry how things turned out. 606 00:34:49,956 --> 00:34:51,591 Between me and your mother. 607 00:34:53,993 --> 00:34:55,295 Right. 608 00:34:55,328 --> 00:34:56,663 BARMAN: Who's next, please? 609 00:35:08,475 --> 00:35:11,344 OK, you're saying, "Wherefore art thou, Romeo?" for the second one. 610 00:35:11,378 --> 00:35:14,381 Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people surveyed said it. 611 00:35:14,414 --> 00:35:16,316 "Wherefore art thou, Romeo?" 612 00:35:16,349 --> 00:35:17,517 It's right. 613 00:35:18,952 --> 00:35:20,754 72. 614 00:35:20,787 --> 00:35:23,723 Well, let's see if you've done enough to get yourselves into the final. 615 00:35:23,957 --> 00:35:26,659 Anthony and Katherine, over to you. That board is all yours now. 616 00:35:26,693 --> 00:35:29,529 If you'd like, you can talk us through the rest of those quotes. 617 00:35:31,431 --> 00:35:33,733 Yeah, yeah, I think we can, actually, yeah. 618 00:35:33,767 --> 00:35:35,502 Well, most of them, anyway. 619 00:35:35,535 --> 00:35:36,636 (Laughter) 620 00:35:36,670 --> 00:35:40,674 So, the top one, "TBONTB, Hamlet." 621 00:35:40,707 --> 00:35:42,575 I think that's, "To be or not to be?" 622 00:35:42,609 --> 00:35:46,413 The third one down, "Et tu, Brute?" 623 00:35:46,446 --> 00:35:50,684 Katherine says the Henry VI one is, "Can we outrun the heavens?" 624 00:35:51,985 --> 00:35:53,987 But the one we're gonna go for is the last one. 625 00:35:54,621 --> 00:35:57,757 "K, WYMM, Anthony." 626 00:35:59,025 --> 00:36:01,561 Because I think that's... 627 00:36:01,594 --> 00:36:03,797 "Katherine, will you marry me?" 628 00:36:03,830 --> 00:36:05,432 (Audience gasps) 629 00:36:12,639 --> 00:36:13,740 Wha...? 630 00:36:18,011 --> 00:36:19,679 AUDIENCE: Aw...! 631 00:36:19,713 --> 00:36:20,780 (Cheering and applause) 632 00:36:21,014 --> 00:36:23,416 Never, in the history Never, in the history Pointless, 633 00:36:23,450 --> 00:36:25,452 has the answer to one question been so crucial. 634 00:36:25,485 --> 00:36:27,020 Katherine? 635 00:36:30,090 --> 00:36:31,491 I think we'll take that as a yes! 636 00:37:01,788 --> 00:37:03,823 - Hello. Miss Docherty? - Yes. 637 00:37:04,057 --> 00:37:05,658 My name's Anthony Walker. 638 00:37:05,692 --> 00:37:07,827 I run a basketball team and Ashley Norton's in it. 639 00:37:07,861 --> 00:37:10,630 - Yes? - Ashley Norton, who you teach. 640 00:37:11,564 --> 00:37:13,299 Yes. 641 00:37:13,333 --> 00:37:15,335 He tells me you've given him a Saturday morning detention. 642 00:37:15,368 --> 00:37:16,670 Yes. 643 00:37:16,703 --> 00:37:18,672 The thing is, we've got a semifinal this Saturday. 644 00:37:18,705 --> 00:37:20,340 I know. 645 00:37:20,373 --> 00:37:22,375 So, we were wondering if Ashley could do his detention 646 00:37:22,409 --> 00:37:23,843 the following Saturday. 647 00:37:23,877 --> 00:37:25,345 No. 648 00:37:25,378 --> 00:37:27,347 - Why not? - Cos he can't. 649 00:37:27,380 --> 00:37:29,315 I'm sorry, it's pointless asking any further. 650 00:37:29,349 --> 00:37:30,784 The decision's been made and it's final. 651 00:37:34,554 --> 00:37:35,889 Hello? 652 00:37:35,922 --> 00:37:38,591 Ashley tells me you're training the girls' footy team. 653 00:37:38,625 --> 00:37:40,460 Ashley tells you a lot. 654 00:37:40,493 --> 00:37:42,328 Look, I'm only around the corner. 655 00:37:43,396 --> 00:37:45,498 Can I come and see you? 656 00:37:45,532 --> 00:37:46,900 It won't do any good. 657 00:37:47,133 --> 00:37:49,336 - Please. - I've just told you, it won't do any good. 658 00:37:51,638 --> 00:37:53,740 Hey, I'm on the case, kidda. 659 00:38:01,548 --> 00:38:03,383 (Whistle blows) 660 00:38:03,416 --> 00:38:04,918 - All right. - Hi. 661 00:38:08,121 --> 00:38:09,422 Anthony. 662 00:38:10,957 --> 00:38:12,492 Katherine. 663 00:38:12,525 --> 00:38:15,428 - Hello, Ashley. - All right, Miss.? 664 00:38:16,763 --> 00:38:19,165 - How's it going? - Fine. 665 00:38:19,199 --> 00:38:20,900 (Blows whistle) 666 00:38:20,934 --> 00:38:23,570 Come on, Lydia! 667 00:38:23,603 --> 00:38:27,741 Ashley says he'll do two detentions if you just postpone this one on Saturday. 668 00:38:27,774 --> 00:38:29,442 - I can't. - He's our main man. 669 00:38:29,476 --> 00:38:31,911 I know, he told me. Didn't you, Ashley? 670 00:38:31,945 --> 00:38:33,780 Yes, Miss. 671 00:38:33,813 --> 00:38:35,682 We'll lose without him. 672 00:38:35,715 --> 00:38:37,884 If that happens, you're punishing the whole team, not just Ashley. 673 00:38:37,917 --> 00:38:40,453 - You think that's fair? - If one man makes such a difference 674 00:38:40,487 --> 00:38:42,789 - they can't be much of a team, can they? - They're a great team. 675 00:38:42,822 --> 00:38:44,491 They said they'll all do a Saturday, 676 00:38:44,524 --> 00:38:46,359 if you'd just postpone this one for Ashley. 677 00:38:49,796 --> 00:38:51,898 - I'll do one, too. - OK. 678 00:38:51,931 --> 00:38:53,667 Ashley can do the following Saturday. 679 00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:55,602 But just Ashley. No need for anyone else. 680 00:38:55,635 --> 00:38:56,936 - Shall I come in with him? - No. 681 00:38:57,170 --> 00:38:59,773 - Oh, I don't mind. - It won't be necessary. 682 00:39:13,653 --> 00:39:14,788 Hey, er... 683 00:39:14,821 --> 00:39:16,156 ..do you like Trinity's? 684 00:39:17,991 --> 00:39:19,726 What's Trinity? 685 00:39:25,031 --> 00:39:27,167 (Dance music plays) 686 00:39:40,013 --> 00:39:43,183 (They laugh) 687 00:39:45,485 --> 00:39:47,854 - How about you? - I just started my LPC. 688 00:39:47,887 --> 00:39:49,756 - What's that? - Legal practice course. 689 00:39:49,789 --> 00:39:51,524 - Honest? - Yeah. 690 00:39:51,558 --> 00:39:53,993 I thought you were some kind of youth worker. 691 00:39:54,027 --> 00:39:55,795 Why? 692 00:39:55,829 --> 00:39:57,897 - The basketball. - Oh, no, I just volunteer for that. 693 00:39:57,931 --> 00:40:01,201 Yeah, no, I love it. The kids are dead made up to play and that. 694 00:40:05,038 --> 00:40:07,540 - You're from Huyton, yeah? - Yeah. 695 00:40:07,574 --> 00:40:10,010 I know cos I'm from Huyton and I've seen you around. 696 00:40:10,243 --> 00:40:13,980 - Yeah? - I mean, it'd be hard to miss you, wouldn't it? 697 00:40:14,014 --> 00:40:16,883 - Yeah, why's that? - Are you being funny? 698 00:40:18,051 --> 00:40:19,219 No. 699 00:40:21,554 --> 00:40:22,922 You like dancing, yeah? 700 00:40:22,956 --> 00:40:24,691 Acting like a right knob. 701 00:40:24,724 --> 00:40:26,693 Anthony, let's just go. 702 00:40:26,726 --> 00:40:28,695 Oh, no, it's OK, it's OK. 703 00:40:28,728 --> 00:40:29,996 It's fine, honest. 704 00:40:33,900 --> 00:40:36,302 Hey, look, I'm just enjoying myself, mate. 705 00:40:36,336 --> 00:40:39,539 - You've been getting on my tits all night. - Are you all right, Ant? 706 00:40:39,572 --> 00:40:41,808 - Yeah, yeah, sound, Mick. - (He zips up his jacket) 707 00:40:41,841 --> 00:40:43,043 How's your, erm...? 708 00:40:45,078 --> 00:40:46,813 - Dominique? - Yeah, yeah. 709 00:40:46,846 --> 00:40:48,815 - Yeah, sound. - Tell her I was asking after her, yeah? 710 00:40:48,848 --> 00:40:49,916 Yeah, I will. 711 00:40:52,085 --> 00:40:53,720 D-D-D... 712 00:40:54,721 --> 00:40:56,556 D-D-D... 713 00:40:57,857 --> 00:40:59,526 Do one. 714 00:41:00,827 --> 00:41:02,529 Do one now, lad. 715 00:41:21,948 --> 00:41:25,719 (Dance music plays) 716 00:41:45,972 --> 00:41:48,608 - I want to work in civil rights. - Civil rights? 717 00:41:48,641 --> 00:41:49,776 Yeah. 718 00:41:51,778 --> 00:41:53,613 In America. 719 00:41:53,646 --> 00:41:56,383 Why America? There's just as much abuse of civil rights over here. 720 00:41:56,416 --> 00:41:58,752 Oh, I don't think so, no. 721 00:41:59,819 --> 00:42:02,088 Over here, we're stopped and searched. 722 00:42:03,089 --> 00:42:04,691 In America, we're shot. 723 00:42:10,130 --> 00:42:12,665 - Well, is this it, then? - Yeah. 724 00:42:13,933 --> 00:42:15,368 What time is it? 725 00:42:18,738 --> 00:42:20,173 - (She scoffs) - Half... 726 00:42:20,407 --> 00:42:21,641 Half one. 727 00:42:22,909 --> 00:42:25,078 - What? - Is that for real? 728 00:42:25,111 --> 00:42:27,147 Yeah, yeah. 729 00:42:27,180 --> 00:42:29,149 Mum got me it for my 18th. 730 00:42:32,018 --> 00:42:34,888 I would ask you in, but they're still up. 731 00:42:35,889 --> 00:42:36,890 Right. 732 00:42:37,924 --> 00:42:39,993 - You still live at home? - Yep. 733 00:42:43,396 --> 00:42:44,798 Erm... 734 00:42:47,033 --> 00:42:49,803 Here, do you, er... do you fancy going out again? 735 00:42:49,836 --> 00:42:51,204 Hm... 736 00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:55,408 Yeah. 737 00:42:57,177 --> 00:42:59,145 - Shall I...? Shall I phone you? - Yeah. 738 00:42:59,179 --> 00:43:00,714 Right. 739 00:43:03,216 --> 00:43:04,651 Goodnight. 740 00:43:04,684 --> 00:43:05,985 Goodnight. 741 00:43:20,133 --> 00:43:21,735 Goodnight. 742 00:43:21,768 --> 00:43:22,969 Goodnight. 743 00:43:30,844 --> 00:43:32,078 (He chuckles) 744 00:43:50,030 --> 00:43:52,766 Welcome to Jenkins, McGregor & Son. 745 00:43:52,799 --> 00:43:55,168 And before you ask, I am the son. 746 00:43:55,201 --> 00:43:57,170 (Chuckling) 747 00:43:57,203 --> 00:44:00,273 In the past, we've given eight young people work experience 748 00:44:00,507 --> 00:44:03,276 and seven of them have gone on to gain permanent employment here. 749 00:44:03,510 --> 00:44:07,914 So, you'll understand if these interviews are quite searching. 750 00:44:07,947 --> 00:44:11,117 After the interviews, the panel will need to talk, of course. 751 00:44:11,151 --> 00:44:13,920 But the plan is to phone each of you tonight. 752 00:44:13,953 --> 00:44:17,724 Whether you've been successful or not, you'll hear from us this evening. 753 00:44:17,757 --> 00:44:20,226 We'll not leave you dangling overnight. 754 00:44:20,260 --> 00:44:22,228 I'll always try and walk away from a row. 755 00:44:23,296 --> 00:44:24,998 Especially with a racist. 756 00:44:26,933 --> 00:44:28,935 But sometimes you can't, though. 757 00:44:28,968 --> 00:44:34,240 Morally or physically, you can't walk, so I'll talk then. 758 00:44:35,308 --> 00:44:38,044 Try and keep it calm and rational. 759 00:44:38,078 --> 00:44:42,082 But nine times out of ten, the guy I'm talking to isn't calm and rational at all. 760 00:44:42,115 --> 00:44:45,318 His life revolves around the boozer and watching the footie, 761 00:44:45,352 --> 00:44:48,088 playing pool, snorting a line in the toilet. 762 00:44:48,121 --> 00:44:50,290 He knows he's gonna lose a calm, rational debate 763 00:44:50,523 --> 00:44:52,926 and his only chance is to turn it into a fight. 764 00:44:52,959 --> 00:44:56,796 So, he starts stoking himself, making himself angrier and angrier 765 00:44:56,830 --> 00:44:58,298 until he's angry enough to throw one. 766 00:44:58,531 --> 00:45:01,101 And that's OK, too, because me dad's taught us all to box. 767 00:45:01,134 --> 00:45:04,804 Me, my brother, my sisters... 768 00:45:05,872 --> 00:45:07,841 ..we can all throw a punch if we have to. 769 00:45:10,577 --> 00:45:15,015 Well, look, that's just the reality of being black where I come from, you see. 770 00:45:20,020 --> 00:45:22,055 But like I said, I'd sooner just walk. 771 00:45:23,089 --> 00:45:25,025 Or talk to him if... 772 00:45:25,058 --> 00:45:27,027 ..if I can. 773 00:45:28,395 --> 00:45:31,831 Does anybody else have any questions for Anthony? 774 00:45:33,333 --> 00:45:36,169 In that case, thanks for coming in, Anthony. 775 00:45:36,202 --> 00:45:37,604 Thank you. 776 00:45:37,637 --> 00:45:38,838 Thanks. 777 00:46:03,430 --> 00:46:05,231 (She hums) 778 00:46:13,039 --> 00:46:14,407 (Front door closes) 779 00:46:16,976 --> 00:46:18,244 Well...? 780 00:46:23,249 --> 00:46:25,151 - What are we having? - Halle Berry. 781 00:46:25,185 --> 00:46:26,219 Hallelujah! 782 00:46:26,252 --> 00:46:27,921 - How did it go? - Great. 783 00:46:28,888 --> 00:46:30,256 - Honestly? - Yeah. 784 00:46:38,264 --> 00:46:40,300 - Are you going out? - Yeah. 785 00:46:40,333 --> 00:46:43,169 - What about the baby? - I'm minding her. 786 00:46:43,203 --> 00:46:45,405 - Where are you going? - For a drink. 787 00:46:45,438 --> 00:46:47,073 - With who? - Some mates. 788 00:46:47,107 --> 00:46:49,042 - You haven't got any. - Ha-ha! Shut it. 789 00:46:49,075 --> 00:46:51,211 Hey... Are you going like that? 790 00:46:51,244 --> 00:46:52,412 - Why? - It's tarty, that's why. 791 00:46:52,645 --> 00:46:54,347 - What's it got to do with you? - Everything. 792 00:46:54,381 --> 00:46:55,915 - Nothing. - What would Dad say? 793 00:46:55,949 --> 00:46:57,250 - Dad's not here. - Exactly! 794 00:46:57,283 --> 00:46:58,918 He wouldn't have to say anything 795 00:46:58,952 --> 00:47:00,954 cos you wouldn't go out like that if he was here. 796 00:47:00,987 --> 00:47:02,689 You're taking advantage of the fact that he isn't. 797 00:47:02,722 --> 00:47:05,425 Which also means you're taking advantage of Mum being on her own. 798 00:47:05,458 --> 00:47:06,960 And that is wrong. 799 00:47:06,993 --> 00:47:09,162 That is just wrong. It's so wrong. 800 00:47:09,195 --> 00:47:10,997 OK, that's so, so wrong. 801 00:47:12,132 --> 00:47:14,234 And don't think you're dodging the dishes! 802 00:47:14,267 --> 00:47:16,136 (He thumps up the stairs) 803 00:47:16,169 --> 00:47:17,404 (Door slams) 804 00:47:25,745 --> 00:47:27,347 (Knock on the door) 805 00:47:41,094 --> 00:47:42,495 What's wrong? 806 00:47:45,298 --> 00:47:47,133 Is it the interview? 807 00:47:47,167 --> 00:47:48,435 I blew it. 808 00:47:50,437 --> 00:47:54,374 I don't know why, I didn't have to, I just got talking about racism, 809 00:47:54,407 --> 00:47:56,976 and having to throw a punch every now and again. 810 00:47:57,010 --> 00:47:58,244 It's true. 811 00:47:58,278 --> 00:48:00,380 Yeah, but it went down like a cup of cold sick. 812 00:48:06,019 --> 00:48:07,287 What did they say? 813 00:48:08,355 --> 00:48:09,522 Nothing. 814 00:48:09,756 --> 00:48:11,358 So, how do you know? 815 00:48:11,391 --> 00:48:13,126 Cos I saw their faces. 816 00:48:14,761 --> 00:48:16,329 Were you yourself? 817 00:48:17,797 --> 00:48:19,099 Yes. 818 00:48:19,132 --> 00:48:20,333 All the way through? 819 00:48:22,402 --> 00:48:23,470 Yes. 820 00:48:25,005 --> 00:48:26,373 Then you'll get it. 821 00:48:29,275 --> 00:48:31,311 You'll get it, son. 822 00:48:32,245 --> 00:48:33,513 Look at me. 823 00:48:35,782 --> 00:48:37,317 You'll get it. 824 00:48:38,385 --> 00:48:39,519 Right? 825 00:48:41,121 --> 00:48:42,288 Right. 826 00:48:44,090 --> 00:48:45,525 Are you missing your dad? 827 00:48:52,332 --> 00:48:53,767 Oh... 828 00:48:54,601 --> 00:48:56,736 (He sobs) 829 00:48:58,304 --> 00:49:00,040 Mm... 830 00:49:07,547 --> 00:49:09,015 Hm. 831 00:49:11,217 --> 00:49:13,153 Don't forget the dishes. 832 00:49:13,186 --> 00:49:16,089 (They laugh) 833 00:49:18,491 --> 00:49:19,793 Hm? 834 00:49:25,298 --> 00:49:26,599 (Door closes) 55104

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