Original subtitles

Hey, what's up?

Hey, I just wanted to say that,

I'm really excited to see you.

Yeah, it should be fun.

Yeah, I was actually gonna ask you

have you said anything to your friends about me?

Uh no, I didn't.

I didn't think it mattered.

Considering we haven't talked since high school.

Okay yeah, I totally get that.

Okay well, I'm really excited to see you.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

We're going to go to the Air B&B tonight,

and then I'm pretty sure we're going to go to Highland.

It's a club in Austin, so should be fun.

Okay yeah, I actually checked out the listing

that you sent me, and it looks really nice.

I'm really excited to see it, for sure.

Yeah, definitely beats my tiny-ass apartment for sure.

But listen, I got to go.

I don't want to be late, so I'll call you later.

All right, bye.

All right, bye.

Hey, what's up?

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to Austin International Airport.

For your safety and comfort,

please remain seated with your seatbelt securely fastened,

until the captain turns off the Fasten Seatbelt sign.

I think this is the best idea you've ever had.

I don't know how much weight we can put on that,

considering how many bad ideas we've actually had.

Yeah, there've been a few.

Okay, well this isn't one of them.

Austin is my hometown.

I'm so excited that you guys decided to come out.

I'm sure we can make a mess out of Austin,

the same way we're making a mess out of Vegas.

Well, that's half the fun.

We have different definitions of fun.

Okay well, let's get in there and check it out.

Jordan, which shirt should I wear tonight?

This one, the red one or the pink one?

I'm catching a theme here.

And it goes against the whole point of this weekend.

I mean, I can still sleep on Valentine's Day,

and embrace the color scheme.

The red, now let's get rid of your hair.

What's up?

I know it's been hard for you.

I don't want to talk about it.

He just wasn't good for you.

Like I'm all for open relationships,

but treating a relationship like it's open,

when it's supposed to be closed.

Ryan's lame as fuck.

We're not supposed to say his name this weekend.

Dude's lame as fuck.

Okay.

Is my red shirt gonna trigger you?

Should I wear something else tonight?

Go shirtless.

Nobody's gonna complain if you go shirtless.

I mean, I would do it, if Austin wasn't so damn cold.

I thought Texas was supposed to be hot.

I don't care, as long as the guys are.

It's been a minute.

You're gonna walk in there so horny.

You're gonna get railed in the bathroom.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

You should probably nut before we go.

Yeah?

To release some tension.

Well get out and I'll get started.

Or I could stay.

You wanna watch me?

Or I can start by watching.

Fuck it.

You like making messes.

Let's make one.

Hey, what's up?

Life, you know how it is?

Yeah I do, chasing the boys.

And they're going to be at Highland tonight.

Do you remember the plan?

Yeah yeah, I know the plan.

Okay, good.

His house is going to be a really good hit for us.

They're pretty loaded, so.

Well, we're about to have a little windfall then.

Okay, good.

Let me know when you get to Highland, okay?

Will do.

All right thanks, bye.

There you go.

Now you're ready.

You're not going to bust a nut right away in the bathroom.

You're a real humanitarian.

Just doing my part, one ass at a time.

Indeed.

I think I'm gonna wear the red shirt.

Looks good with my hair.

So I've heard.

I'm having a great time with you guys.

I'm so happy you guys are here.

I'm like, what the academy should continue?

Yes.

It's been a while.

Yes, and cheers to being lost.

There we go.

Who's that man over there?

Beautiful boys right there.

I know I've been staring at them the whole time.

There's a back that looks very sexy.

I wonder what his name is.

Go talk to him.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah?

Okay fine.

I'll go talk to him.

Yes yes, it's a good idea.

If he actually gets his number, I will be so surprised.

Oh, I can't wait to watch this.

Hey, can I please get a gin and tonic?

Actually make that too.

Hello.

Hi, how's your night going?

It's going all right, what about you?

Pretty good.

Um, I have to be honest with you.

My friends over there, they dared me

to come talk to you.

Really?

Thank you so much.

He looks like he could snap Chase in half, like a twig.

Definitely.

Oh yeah, such a hot sexy snap.

I was wondering if I get your number.

Yeah, definitely.

Okay, there we go.

Here you go.

Here you go, my name is Josh.

Chase.

Now you have mine.

I did not think he was gonna do it.

I should have went over there.

You know, if you want, you can come chill with us.

Hang out for a little bit.

Yeah I'm down, sounds fun.

Okay, cool.

Thanks.

♪ I can't breathe like ♪

♪ Suffer can't make me slow ♪

♪ I'm sinking underneath your love ♪

♪ But I can't get enough of you ♪

At least we got Chase here, to get a guy like that.

Right?

You know, I don't care what you ladies are thinking,

but I'm going to go to bed with a guy like this.

So fuck you.

Do a really good job at ignoring us.

It can't be easy.

Getting easier every day, guys.

Good night.

Are you hungry?

I could eat.

But how much could you eat?

I'm somewhere between six tacos and a big ass calzone.

Okay, good.

Then we're going to go hard.

Not as hard as that guy Chase brought home.

Did you see that thing?

Yes I did.

I am just going to eat my feelings away

about not getting that good.

Same.

So you're a Texas boy, huh?

Born and bred.

You're about to be bred.

Okay, let's produce.

I love those Texas manners.

If I was gonna go full Texan,

I would say please, sir.

Will you mount me?

Do you smell pizza?

I doubt it.

No I don't, I don't think so.

I definitely smell pizza.

Awesome, I knew it.

Dude, that's my pizza.

Sorry, it's like house pizza now.

You can have as much of mine as you want.

I'm full.

Perfect, I definitely worked up an appetite.

Well, you made yourself at home.

Yeah, I'm not the hit-and-quit-it type.

Oh good.

So are you like joining the boys weekend?

Sure, what are you guys celebrating?

Kind of anti-celebrating I guess.

It's fuck Valentine's Day weekend.

Cool, I'm down.

Valentine's Day is dumb.

Your new friend's gonna stay.

Yeah, I see that.

Well, I'm going to go shower.

Don't wait up.

I'm gonna get to know your boys.

So we were going to finish eating and then head to bed.

Oh yeah.

Are you guys like together or something?

No, just friends.

But you're going to bed together.

I just meant to bed in general.

Okay, I thought something else was going on.

- No. - No.

So I still have a bunch of energy left after all of that.

I don't know if one of you or both of you wanted to help.

Yeah, I mean I'm down.

Sure.

So are we going to hang out here

or am I gonna go back to your boy?

I think we're actually all going to go to our own rooms.

Is that your way of telling me I should get out of here?

Take it however you want it.

Okay, I got you.

What do you think we're going to do today?

I don't know.

I'm sure Chase has some things planned.

I hope so, I want to see his hometown.

It's pretty, I like it so far.

So are the boys.

Salute to that.

Good morning.

- Good morning. - Morning.

Oh Chase, we got to go.

You know, your dad's funeral and all.

Oh yeah, yeah.

A funeral.

I thought you guys said

it was a fuck Valentine's Day weekend.

It's also like a fuck death weekend.

Yeah you know, cause people die and stuff, right?

That sucks.

I thought we were all going to hang out today,

but I guess I can order an Uber.

Yeah yeah, we'll wait for you.

My family's waiting.

Yeah, they're waiting.

In fact, we should go.

Let's all go right now.

I'll see you later.

Have fun.

Did Chase really bring us on a hookup?

Seems like it.

You got to give it to him.

He's got game.

A lot of it.

I'm happy you're here.

Yeah, me too.

But I have to be quick.

My friends are waiting.

Wait, are you telling me to like rush through it?

No, make it count,

but let's get to it.

I can do that.

That was cute.

I told you I was in a rush.

Thanks for making time for me.

Yeah bro.

We should do it again.

Next time have more time.

Yeah for sure.

Okay.

All right.

Bye.

Bye babe.

Took you guys long enough.

I left as soon as Chase did.

You guys bring the U-Haul?

Yeah, we already got it.

I already got a bunch of their shit together.

They have a bunch more in their suitcases,

and the house has some nice stuff.

So we'll make out well.

Definitely a nice place.

Yeah, let's get started.

You suck.

You guys get everything?

Just about.

Yeah, there were a few more things to do,

but I think there's a garage back there.

You should go check the garage for anything good.

Hurry up in here.

Yeah, we'll finish up.

Why does doing this turn me on so much?

Oh fuck!

Fuck!

That's hot.

Guys, come on, get up.

We gotta go.

Let's get out of here.

How did this happen?

We're fucking idiots, that's what happened.

A mess, again.

I knew this would happen.

At least, we're together.

Fuck Valentine's Day.

Right.

♪ So raise them up up up to the sky ♪

♪ This is a heist this is a heist ♪

♪ We're only looking for one thing ♪

♪ You wanna steal my heart from me ♪

To be totally honest with you,

my friends invited me...

Oh God, I just said invited.

Oh my God.

You hungry?

I could eat.

How much could you eat?

I'm somewhere between like six calzones and a bigass...

Oh my God.

And mark it.

Giggity giggity giggity.

And action.

Action.

Mid yawn.

Sssh, quiet on the set.

I'm having a great time with you guys.

What was your name again?

Looks like house pizza to me.

♪ Raise your hands up up to the sky ♪

♪ This is a heist ♪

♪ So raise them up up up to the sky ♪

♪ This is a heist this is a heist ♪

♪ You're only looking for one thing ♪

♪ You wanna steal my heart from me ♪

♪ You're only looking for one thing ♪

♪ You wanna steal my heart from me ♪