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1
00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:02,480
What about this one?
2
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:06,000
I drive from the east coast
to the west coast…
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,920
..in a bus or a van or something…
4
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:08,920
OK.
5
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:11,480
..and I cook food and I meet people,
6
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,480
and it's called Easton Goes Western.
7
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:20,760
Sounds like an excuse to do
a silly wordplay with your name.
8
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,080
Yeah, yeah.
9
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:26,320
Jamie and Gordon have pillaged
every decent TV idea
10
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:27,840
and most of the crap ones.
11
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:33,320
What you need is an idea
that's entirely unique to you, hmm?
12
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:34,880
Yeah.
13
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,240
I'm 73 today.
14
00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,920
That's why I can spout off
wise shit like that.
15
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:42,000
You're kidding?! We should celebrate.
16
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,240
None of us have ever celebrated
one of your birthdays.
17
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:45,760
I'll get the others.
18
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:51,160
It's very…you.
19
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,560
We don't have to send it.
If you hate it, I should redo it.
20
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,400
It's your grandma's birthday.
We're having drinks.
21
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,520
Where's Brett and Denise?
Asleep.
22
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:00,880
It's only 8:00.
23
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,240
We're about to send off
Diana's new menu to Viggo.
24
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,320
So, this one is Tits Up,
25
00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:07,360
which is, like, a marshmallowy ode
26
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,560
to the direction in which
my life has taken lately.
27
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:13,720
And the other one is
a Bacon & Egg Hanglova.
28
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,320
Yeah.
29
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:22,080
And we've also got Terry's
Jam and Biscuits on here, too.
30
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,960
This is more like you -
high art meets silly shit.
31
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:28,000
Thank you.
You look more nervous than her.
32
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,480
Are you worried that
a Dane won't understand
33
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,320
the nuances of Australian cuisine?
34
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,040
No, no, it's just…it's our
last chance to impress Viggo.
35
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,080
It's good. Let's go.
36
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:44,160
OK, well, it's done now.
37
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:45,440
Let's go have a drink.
38
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,640
What's the opposite of
being cancelled?
39
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,760
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
40
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,760
Elon Musk is following you! What?!
41
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,720
They're calling me
the Waste Whistleblower.
42
00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,120
We were…we were so stupid.
43
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,680
Well, what can I say?
44
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,320
To be reunited with my famous son
45
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,920
and my wonderful, talented
granddaughter I didn't know I had
46
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,720
is the greatest birthday gift.
47
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:14,680
To June, and to the end of
Easton and Diana's sentence
48
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,800
and for our return to London.
49
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,360
Up your bums!
50
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,520
Up your bums!
51
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,520
Oh, and, Grandma…
52
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,080
..your birthday cake.
53
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,960
♪ Happy birthday to you
54
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,840
♪ Happy birthday to you… ♪
55
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:39,560
Oh, my God!
56
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,240
It's 3 am.
57
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:47,080
There's a goat wearing my T-shirt.
58
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:48,120
♪ Happy birthday… ♪
59
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,440
She's taken over our lives.
60
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,480
How did we not check
who owned the house?
61
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,840
Well, how was I to know that
her name was on the deed
62
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,680
or that she was still alive?
63
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,080
Diana seems to like her.
64
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,360
Well, we're gonna spend
the whole day with Diana tomorrow
65
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,520
before she and Harry leave.
66
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,120
We'll take care of June later.
67
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,480
She's riding the goat.
68
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,360
Ride the goat! Ride the goat!
69
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,840
I'm going back to bed.
70
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:28,840
My hair is bashing against my skull
when I move.
71
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,160
Oh, Mum!
72
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,520
Don't sniff my undies.
It's really weird.
73
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,840
What, I've been sniffing
your underwear for 20 years.
74
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,800
Brett and I would like to take
you out, spend the day together.
75
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:45,800
OK.
76
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,880
Where's Harry?
He was really drunk last night, Mum.
77
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,680
He's only 27.
78
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:56,480
That's the age everyone
chokes on their own vomit
79
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:57,520
like Jimi and Janis.
80
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,000
Oh, my God, no.
81
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,440
Please, please, please
don't take Harry.
82
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:05,040
What about minigolf?
Harry can come if he's not dead.
83
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,640
Well, that's the second-worst thing
I've ever seen on a pizza.
84
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,720
The reception here is terrible.
85
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,800
Mum's birthday party.
86
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,640
What?
Mum's birthday party.
87
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,720
Oh, you made up, then. Good.
88
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:32,800
Easton.
89
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,280
Easton, have you seen Harry?!
90
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,240
Oh, thank God.
Thank you, sweet baby Jesus.
91
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,360
Grandma.
92
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,240
There we go. There it is. Yep.
93
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,360
I brought you something. Come on.
94
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,600
Please be a bacon sandwich.
95
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,000
Wash your face.
96
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,960
I know the dishes are a little
out there. Just leave it with me.
97
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,600
She's coming.
Harry! I thought you were dead.
98
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,640
No, no. Calm down.
Who is it?
99
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,560
Viggo? It's the menu.
100
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,320
It's fine. It's OK.
101
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,000
I have the right to hear it.
102
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,040
Yeah, I know, I know. I'll tell you.
103
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,200
Now.
OK.
104
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,280
Viggo, I'm calling you back,
alright? I need to call you back.
105
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:18,520
Harry!
106
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,600
That was a dick move.
107
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:23,880
Diana…
Nup.
108
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,480
A donation from
the Uraidla Producers' Group.
109
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,760
We saw your impassioned speech.
110
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:31,360
Right.
111
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,240
So, you are the
Waste Whistleblower now.
112
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,880
I like it. It's very sexy.
113
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,400
What?
114
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,600
Oh, don't tell me the only thing
you're blowing is hot air.
115
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:44,760
No.
Good.
116
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:49,520
Then I gift you imperfect produce
that supermarkets will not take.
117
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,080
What do you want me to do with it?
118
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,760
Well, I'm looking at opening
some new revenue streams,
119
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,440
and I thought you might be able to
make me something that I could sell
120
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,560
through my new cellar door
experience.
121
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,920
Oh, and special boudoir access
122
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,440
if you can come up with
anything to do with
123
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,200
40 barrels of smoke-tainted wine.
124
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,720
You didn't bring that here
as well, did you?
125
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,360
No. I just thought you might have
a brilliant idea.
126
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,120
You know, help a damsel in distress.
127
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,080
Isn't that what you men live for?
128
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,320
Oh, I really think we should
work on this name.
129
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,600
You know, Whistleblower,
it's a bit of an overreach.
130
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,600
Dr Dumpster?
No.
131
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,280
Bin Busters?
No.
132
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,240
Wasted West?
No.
133
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,240
Though I don't disagree with
the sentiment.
134
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:43,360
Alright, where do
you want this baby?
135
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,960
Oh, there's just fine.
136
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,600
Are you sure about that?
Yep.
137
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,880
Okey-dokey.
138
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:56,800
Call me when you got something
to show me.
139
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,080
I need a shower, a coffee
and a Chiko Roll.
140
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,120
I don't know what that is,
but can we just talk, please?
141
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,640
Sure. Yeah, let's talk.
142
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,880
What were you guys saying
about my dishes?
143
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,720
Just that they need tweaking.
Oh, my God!
144
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:20,120
I sexted my jugs to
a Nordic food God.
145
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:21,880
Look, you go have a shower,
146
00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,240
and I'll get you your chicken roll,
147
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,000
and we can brainstorm how to fix it.
148
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,800
No, I promised Brett and Denise
that I would hang with them today.
149
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,800
Di!
It's my last day with them.
150
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,800
Fine. I'll think of a solution.
151
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,720
It'll be OK.
Thank you.
152
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:40,960
Mum!
153
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,680
Eat, you mangy animal.
154
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,760
Come on, eat!
155
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,080
What is this?
Oh, Margot dumped it on me.
156
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,800
I've got a TV show
to pitch on Monday,
157
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,640
and I should be generating ideas.
158
00:07:55,640 --> 00:08:00,920
How about I'm A Celebrity Chef
GOAT Me Out Of Here?
159
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,200
Look, come on, give me an idea,
you furry shit.
160
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,200
What about go-karting?
Too hot.
161
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,120
The museum?
Too bony.
162
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,600
The beach?
Sandy.
163
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,480
Botanic gardens?
Leafy.
164
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,320
Diana.
I honestly just want a schnitzel.
165
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,040
We're trapped.
166
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:26,920
Oh, wonderful.
167
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,400
Easton!
168
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,720
What?
169
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,200
I didn't put it there.
170
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,240
But I can't help but feel that it is
your fault that it IS here.
171
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,520
Oh, this is ridiculous.
172
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,680
So, what are you going to do
with two tons of veg?
173
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:43,400
Pickles. Found some old vinegar
Dad had in storage.
174
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,000
Yeah. Pickles are
really hot right now.
175
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,600
I lived in Poland.
They know how to pickle.
176
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,000
Mostly their livers,
but occasionally a vegetable.
177
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,240
So, what are we meant to do?
178
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,160
Well, stay and help us.
We'll make it a family day.
179
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,320
No, we're taking Diana out.
180
00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,840
Not until this is empty, we're not.
181
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,280
Well, what about your schnitzel?
182
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,000
It's alright, I'm getting delivery.
183
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,080
-You guys want one?
-Yeah, sure.
184
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,760
I'm getting you one, too, Mum.
185
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,000
We could take a taxi to the zoo.
186
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:27,840
Diana, give me a hand?
187
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,400
Let's just stay, Mum. I don't mind.
188
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,000
I knew she'd hijack our plans.
189
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,480
She's hijacking more than that.
190
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,800
I'd have a word with this Viggo guy
if I were you.
191
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,760
I mean, the Scandis,
they're arrogant.
192
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,400
I mean, he'd probably respect
you more if you told him
193
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,920
to stick a well-designed bookcase
up his arse.
194
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,240
Oh, Grandma, firstly, I don't
think you can say that anymore
195
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,280
because it's racist.
196
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,360
And secondly, Harry would kill me
if I did that.
197
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:57,200
If Harry's not gonna stick up
for you, you have to go direct.
198
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,040
If you want us to make up,
tell her to ask me,
199
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,120
nay, beg forgiveness.
200
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:13,240
No. But I will try and set up
a conversation between you.
201
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,280
Dude, you're here
to drool over her…
202
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,040
Oh…so don't use me as your excuse.
203
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:20,800
And hurry up, I need to pee.
Are you serious?
204
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,560
No, sorry.
Can I just finish? Thank you.
205
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,880
Those desserts are a representation
of who I am, Viggo,
206
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,680
and if you're not going to allow me
to express myself,
207
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:33,200
then you can shove those desserts
right up your clacker.
208
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,440
And clacker, FYI,
is Australian for arse.
209
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,040
How dare you…
210
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,840
Ha! Sorry. Just, like, work things.
211
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,200
You know, sometimes you've gotta
crack a few skulls.
212
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:45,960
What are you guys doing here?
213
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,080
Uh, well, Margot's told the whole
town about the waste project,
214
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:50,680
so we've brought
some stuff to donate.
215
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:54,240
And we wanted to see you
before you go.
216
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,320
Why is Nayani looking like
a getaway driver in a bank heist?
217
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,280
Well, I was hoping
you two would talk.
218
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,800
Wants me to grovel, doesn't she?
219
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,000
No.
220
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,840
Hey, Denise, I have an idea.
221
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,360
Whoa, before you start,
what are we putting them in?
222
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:26,520
What?
The pickles.
223
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,000
Jars.
But he hasn't got any.
224
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,040
Well, I don't know.
225
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:32,040
Every jar this family ever used,
Jim put into the toolshed.
226
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,160
Great. Mum, take Brett,
go get the jars.
227
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,520
What? The…
Let's go, handsome.
228
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,160
OK, TV pitch.
229
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,800
I take people who have absolutely
no idea how to cook,
230
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,560
you know, the kind that ask how long
two-minute noodles take to boil -
231
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:47,080
no idea whatsoever -
232
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,960
and I transform them
into capable chefs
233
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,840
who can take on a shift
at a real restaurant.
234
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,920
I call it Restaurant Rejects,
235
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,720
and when we shoot the pilot,
you're my first guest.
236
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:06,680
No? OK.
237
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:09,520
Brett.
238
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,840
I've been meaning to do a clear-up
in here for forever.
239
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,960
But Denise is sentimental
about Jim's stuff.
240
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,840
Oh, ridiculous.
241
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,720
When we moved in, we slept
on piles of old newspapers.
242
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:26,200
Found an old one about
a Tasmanian tiger biting a kid.
243
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,000
I almost became part of
Jim West's collection.
244
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,040
And, as owner of this shit,
245
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,880
I give you permission
to get rid of his crap.
246
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,000
Oh, God!
247
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,200
Oh, my knee's locked up.
248
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,840
Oh, help me, Brett. Help me.
249
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,080
Here, come here. Come here.
Help me. Ooh.
250
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:52,680
Ben's basically given me free rein
to use the menu to experiment.
251
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:53,920
Yeah, it's exciting,
252
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,640
having people try things
straightaway and feedback.
253
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,160
I'm very lucky.
254
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,080
Well, that's not luck,
though, is it?
255
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,880
You've earned it. You're amazing.
256
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,240
I mean, Harry wouldn't shut up about
how good your carp diem dish was.
257
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:09,320
And how are you?
258
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,240
I don't know. Sometimes, like,
I feel like a fish, you know?
259
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,960
Sort of, like, constantly
swimming upstream
260
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,600
through this river of treacle
261
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,400
with, like, a really bad hangover,
262
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:22,360
kind of not really knowing what sort
of fish I even am anymore.
263
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,160
Well, I know what kind
of fish you are.
264
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:28,520
You're a strong, talented fish
who follows her gut no matter what.
265
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,440
That's why we all love you.
266
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,000
I'm not saying that I love you.
Mm-hm.
267
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,120
Well, I do like…
268
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,040
…friends love.
269
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,720
Look, I've always thought
that you and your food
270
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,000
are like an emulsion,
271
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,280
so if this Viggo guy
doesn't get your food,
272
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,720
he really doesn't get you.
273
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:04,760
Oh, my God.
I don't know why I just did that.
274
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,240
It's fine.
No, it's not. It's really bad.
275
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,200
It's just that you were saying,
like, all the right things,
276
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:10,600
like 'emulsion', and I just…
277
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,360
Hey, I think I should go.
278
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,920
Um, you and Nayani
should try and talk.
279
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,440
No, you don't have to leave.
We'll catch up next time you visit.
280
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,040
OK?
Hey, no, Kwams…
281
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:20,040
Yeah.
282
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,960
Hurry up, Kwame. I'm busting.
283
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,880
Hi.
What the hell are you doing?
284
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,120
Things got weird, OK?
Sorry, I'm walking home.
285
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,120
What the fuck?
286
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:35,240
You should stay and try and talk to
Di, though. She really needs you.
287
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,960
She needs a lobotomy.
288
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,240
What did she do to you?
289
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:44,960
Is that it?
290
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,440
Is that all you've done?
291
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:49,720
What…
292
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,200
I have to do everything myself.
293
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,040
Where have you been?
294
00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:59,640
We're meant to be
spending time together.
295
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,400
Oh, sorry. I was just…
I was helping Kwame.
296
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,160
He just donated all this fresh
produce, so I was just…
297
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,280
Here, take a peeler
and come and sit next to me.
298
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,920
We'll work together.
OK.
299
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,720
June's gammy leg's playing up.
300
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,760
Oh, no, Grandma! Are you OK?
301
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,240
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
It just happens sometimes.
302
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,360
Stupid knee.
303
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,760
Oh, we found some jars.
They'll need sterilising, though.
304
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,360
Oh, well, you can
boil them in that bin.
305
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,960
Oh, Diana, we can do it.
306
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,520
Yeah.
No, take Brett.
307
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,680
He, um…he can carry you
and massage your leg as well.
308
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,480
Will I?
Yes.
309
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:42,280
Yeah, good idea. Brett, you take Mum
and the bin down to the fire pit -
310
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,560
get sterilising.
311
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,840
Oh, come on, June.
Diana.
312
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,520
Are you right?
Diana!
313
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,400
Yeah. Yeah.
314
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,360
Full automation.
315
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,840
Full…automation.
316
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,360
Full automation.
317
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,640
What did he just…
318
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,720
I don't know.
I choose not to listen.
319
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,280
Hey, I've got some movement back.
320
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,560
You got magic hands, Brett.
321
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:30,880
Huh. Yeah.
322
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,640
You know, it was great getting
to know Diana a bit more last night.
323
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,240
She's a lot like me, you know?
324
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,440
Is she?
Oh, yeah, she's got my spirit.
325
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,360
Hey.
326
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,400
That boy's in for a bit of a shock.
327
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,400
What are we gonna do about
the London situation?
328
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:51,600
Situation?
329
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:55,240
Yeah, you know, Diana being unhappy,
no friends.
330
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,480
You know, the rain.
She told you that?
331
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,360
Last night. Didn't she tell you?
332
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:00,640
No.
333
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,040
Oh, no, no, it's OK.
334
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,920
I advised her, you know,
put number one first.
335
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:09,000
That's terrible advice. She's
got her career, she's got Harry.
336
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,120
No. I told her,
if you want an omelette,
337
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,400
you've got to crack an egg.
338
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,440
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…
What she needs to do…
339
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,440
Denise?!
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…
340
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,200
Brett! What she… Brett…
Denise!
341
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,040
Diana, I can't believe
you called Viggo.
342
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:26,600
I can't believe WHAT
you called Viggo.
343
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,920
I'm sorry.
He's a name chef.
344
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:33,360
Harry, you hired me first,
and you hired me to be me.
345
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:36,880
Yes, but hiring you was a risk,
and risks come with terms.
346
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,320
What terms?
347
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:46,200
I just need you to put the restaurant
first, not your ego, Diana.
348
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,520
Jesus Christ, Harry.
349
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:50,560
At the moment, the menu could be seen
as a little parochial for London.
350
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,200
Parochial?
351
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,880
It's business.
Don't make it personal.
352
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,920
It's Viggo. I have to take it.
No, you don't.
353
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,720
I…
354
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:09,880
Di…
355
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:31,920
Why would she tell you
all this and not me?
356
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,880
I'm…I'm her mother.
357
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,720
Who tells their mother anything?
358
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:37,800
Well, I would have liked the option.
359
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,760
All I said was, come home,
we'll look after you.
360
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,480
Oh, we will, will we?
361
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,000
Well, it takes a village to…
362
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,160
You can steal our house,
steal our bed,
363
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,640
but you sure as hell will not
be stealing our daughter.
364
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,640
And if you had one iota
of humanity left,
365
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,760
you'd bugger off back to whatever
wretched hole you crawled out of.
366
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,920
I have spent my entire life
367
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,280
wondering what it would be like
to see you again.
368
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:07,080
And somehow it's even more
disappointing than I imagined.
369
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,360
Well, if that's how you feel…
Yes.
370
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,360
That's how we all feel.
371
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,480
I'm sorry.
372
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:13,600
That was weird.
373
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,640
I heard what you did to Kwams.
374
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,360
That was an accident.
375
00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:21,000
If you want an outsider's
perspective…
376
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,120
I don't, really.
377
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,800
..London seems to have made you
into, like, a bit of a douche.
378
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,120
Just saying.
379
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,440
See ya.
380
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,800
You're right. I AM a huge douche.
381
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,480
Yeah, you ran away and
didn't talk to me for a year.
382
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,400
I know.
383
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,240
Can I just monologue for a bit?
Do you mind?
384
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,720
OK.
OK.
385
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,560
Kissing Kwame literally felt like
I was kicking a puppy with my mouth.
386
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,800
I just deliberately sent off
this menu with titties
387
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,840
and some bacon to this Nordic idiot
that I knew…
388
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,840
..I knew he wouldn't like it,
but I did it anyway, right?
389
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:59,080
And then I abused him
for proving me right.
390
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,360
But none of that even comes close
391
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:06,760
to as bad as how I've treated you.
392
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,240
God, I've just, like,
had this, like…
393
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,680
..this pain in my chestal area
for, like, a whole, entire year
394
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,760
because I didn't know how
to say sorry to you,
395
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,400
even though I am really sorry.
396
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,680
I just had my head
so far out my own arse,
397
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,320
it's, like, not even funny.
398
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,080
I had that chest thing too.
399
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,600
I genuinely thought it was
a heart condition,
400
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,320
so my dad made me go to
his cardiologist friend
401
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,040
and I had to do this
stress test thing
402
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,640
and it turns out I'm just unfit.
403
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:41,320
But my dad actually cried
with relief on the way home.
404
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:46,440
But when I told him that
I thought that the pain
405
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:51,600
could be from anxiety I'd manifested
after breaking up with you…
406
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,880
..he kicked me out of the car
and made me walk home, so…
407
00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,160
I'm sorry. Sorry. No, I'm sorry.
408
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,680
I am sorry.
409
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,960
I heard your conversation
with Harry.
410
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,880
I was peeing in a bush.
You were peeing…
411
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,960
Look, you can't
compromise your food, Di,
412
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:11,800
or this limp-dick chef will win, OK?
413
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,680
Zero dick policy.
414
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:17,600
The day of the dick is done. Capisce?
415
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,080
OK.
416
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,720
Love you.
Love you, too.
417
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,360
Viggo, I'll call you back.
I'll call you back.
418
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,480
I think I bought us more time.
419
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,160
These dishes look great.
420
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:20,960
Yeah, I think Viggo will
really get them,
421
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,920
and they make much more sense
for London.
422
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:25,480
Harry…
423
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,760
..I don't think
I make sense for London.
424
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,560
What do you mean?
425
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,240
I'm so sorry.
426
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,600
And what goes well with pickles?
427
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,160
I mean, cheese? Shit.
428
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:50,280
Pickles.
429
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,840
My own "made with waste produce"
pickles.
430
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:05,520
Oh, that's really good.
431
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,720
Yeah, well, try it with my sourdough
made with leftover pickling brine.
432
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:12,080
And my new IPA
also has a splash of it.
433
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,160
What?
434
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,680
We could use some of my spoilt wine
for pickling vinegar.
435
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,920
Yeah, and the rest to make
small-batch smoky gin.
436
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:28,640
Now, that's actually…
437
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,320
Genius?..quite clever.
438
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,040
Thank you.
439
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,920
I didn't tell you this morning,
440
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,160
I've been asked to pitch a TV idea,
441
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,120
and I couldn't think of anything
until today.
442
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,160
You see where this is going?
You've finally washed your socks?
443
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,840
Automated vegetable peeler.
My own invention.
444
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,960
The TV concept is me at home
445
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,480
teaching people how to grow and
cook veg, bake bread, brew beer,
446
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,960
upcycle, live life waste-free.
447
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,640
The title of the show
is the Waste Warrior.
448
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,360
And I am the Waste Warrior.
449
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,320
Catchy title. I like the concept.
450
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,440
I just don't know why you'd
want to be on television.
451
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:18,920
Well, that's the whole point.
452
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:22,720
The producers pay me to live here
and do what I'm already doing.
453
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,640
We can use the show
to advertise our pickles,
454
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,920
our gin, and anything
else we invent.
455
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,720
Fame has its upside.
456
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,120
Very clever.
I know.
457
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:52,040
Bye.
Bye.
458
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,920
See? I told you.
No need to shoot the messenger.
459
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,920
Oh, love. It's all for the best.
460
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,360
Mum.
461
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,280
I'm sorry I'm a dick.
462
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,760
You're not a dick.
Yes, I am.
463
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,000
You're my dicks.
464
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,080
Did someone leave
the washing machine on?
465
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,000
Captions by Red Bee Media
466
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation
34744
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