Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:49,739 --> 00:00:52,604
Butler Art Restoration. This is
Lori, how may I help you?
2
00:00:55,848 --> 00:00:59,197
Sallie from... Yeah.
Hi. Hi.
3
00:00:59,369 --> 00:01:00,612
Yeah. Long, long time.
4
00:01:00,784 --> 00:01:03,580
Yes. What's up?
5
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,274
Okay. What kind of work?
6
00:01:11,278 --> 00:01:14,212
Yes, I can't do right now...
7
00:01:14,384 --> 00:01:16,317
but I could do this afternoon.
8
00:01:17,422 --> 00:01:19,665
Yeah, there's a pub
near where I live.
9
00:01:19,838 --> 00:01:20,908
Shall I send you the address?
10
00:01:21,219 --> 00:01:23,186
Okay. All right.
11
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:35,405
- I'm so sorry.
- That's all right.
12
00:01:36,579 --> 00:01:38,132
- How may I help you?
- Yes.
13
00:01:38,305 --> 00:01:40,548
Can I have Red Lantern's
noodles, please?
14
00:01:40,721 --> 00:01:42,067
Yep. Red Lantern noodles.
15
00:01:42,688 --> 00:01:45,519
Look, it's eight
unfinished canvases.
16
00:01:45,691 --> 00:01:47,348
- Would've been nine.
- Fuck off, Barnaby.
17
00:01:47,521 --> 00:01:48,763
Should have been nine.
18
00:01:48,936 --> 00:01:50,075
Ask her why there aren't nine.
19
00:01:50,248 --> 00:01:51,697
Seriously, Barney, fuck you.
20
00:01:51,870 --> 00:01:53,561
She tried to do one herself.
21
00:01:53,734 --> 00:01:55,632
- Whatever.
- She nicked one. Hang on.
22
00:01:55,805 --> 00:01:57,393
It's actually why we're
not allowed around there.
23
00:01:57,565 --> 00:01:58,739
- I took a photo.
- Barnaby.
24
00:01:58,842 --> 00:02:01,673
Whatever, it's on here.
3 million pound dump she took.
25
00:02:01,845 --> 00:02:03,399
They weren't worth fuck all.
26
00:02:03,571 --> 00:02:04,676
Yet.
27
00:02:04,779 --> 00:02:06,712
Look, there were a series
of barely finished canvases...
28
00:02:06,885 --> 00:02:10,164
with Polaroids stuck on.
They were nothing.
29
00:02:10,337 --> 00:02:12,546
Of which "nothings,"
we have eight...
30
00:02:12,718 --> 00:02:16,239
from Dad's only remaining good
period, which he abandoned.
31
00:02:16,412 --> 00:02:18,310
And these are the third
series of Christophers?
32
00:02:18,483 --> 00:02:20,588
The point is, he's not
going to be here much longer...
33
00:02:20,761 --> 00:02:22,038
and if when he passes...
34
00:02:22,211 --> 00:02:23,488
they go through his third
floor storage...
35
00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:25,352
which he doesn't open
and never will...
36
00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:28,458
and they happen to find
that he's finished...
37
00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:31,496
a previously undiscovered
series...
38
00:02:31,668 --> 00:02:34,809
All the original brushes.
All the original paints.
39
00:02:34,982 --> 00:02:37,950
On original canvases, that
literally, if someone checked...
40
00:02:38,123 --> 00:02:40,746
contain molecular
traces of his DNA.
41
00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:41,678
They can actually do that.
42
00:02:42,576 --> 00:02:43,473
I'm aware.
43
00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:46,235
So?
44
00:02:47,477 --> 00:02:49,928
You said this was a
restoration job.
45
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,586
- It is.
- It's a forgery job.
46
00:02:52,758 --> 00:02:54,829
- What? No. No, no. God no, no.
- No!
47
00:02:55,002 --> 00:02:58,488
All we we're trying to get you
to do is merely complete them.
48
00:02:58,661 --> 00:02:59,593
By forging them.
49
00:02:59,696 --> 00:03:02,251
By forging through them
until they're completed.
50
00:03:02,423 --> 00:03:06,255
Look, really, Lori though,
does it even matter?
51
00:03:07,463 --> 00:03:10,673
What are you talking about?
Of course it matters.
52
00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:13,158
Yeah, does it though?
Actually?
53
00:03:13,365 --> 00:03:16,782
I mean, Dad has his assistants
complete his paintings
all the time.
54
00:03:16,955 --> 00:03:18,991
Yes, but these he's
hardly even started.
55
00:03:19,164 --> 00:03:20,027
How do you know he
didn't already have them...
56
00:03:20,130 --> 00:03:21,891
all mapped out in
his head, Lori?
57
00:03:22,063 --> 00:03:24,169
Two months ago, a piece
from Dad's first set...
58
00:03:24,342 --> 00:03:25,584
of Christophers sold
at a Russian auction...
59
00:03:25,688 --> 00:03:29,830
for 3 million plus. A piece from
the second set, 3.5 in China.
60
00:03:30,313 --> 00:03:33,247
His style, as I'm sure
you found out...
61
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:37,389
is unique and quite hard
to replicate.
62
00:03:37,872 --> 00:03:40,737
- You can though.
- I don't know about that.
63
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:45,397
Central Saint Martins. Week one,
our very first assignment.
64
00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:48,400
Come up with a series of works
in the style of the artist...
65
00:03:48,573 --> 00:03:50,126
who inspired you the most.
66
00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:52,784
I saw it, Lori,
with my own eyes.
67
00:03:52,956 --> 00:03:55,959
Ah, yes. That was a
very long time ago though.
68
00:03:56,546 --> 00:03:58,307
And since then,
well, you know...
69
00:03:58,479 --> 00:04:01,724
you've seen what I've
said about him.
70
00:04:02,207 --> 00:04:04,105
Didn't you guys meet once?
71
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:07,316
Am I remembering that rightly
back when we were at college?
72
00:04:07,488 --> 00:04:10,319
We know why you hate
him is the point.
73
00:04:11,354 --> 00:04:13,736
Think of this as a way
to get revenge.
74
00:04:13,908 --> 00:04:14,771
Just do the numbers, Lori.
75
00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:17,360
Everybody knows what one
original Julian Sklar...
76
00:04:17,533 --> 00:04:18,948
from that period is worth.
77
00:05:31,296 --> 00:05:32,746
Other door.
78
00:05:48,762 --> 00:05:49,590
Hello?
79
00:06:00,083 --> 00:06:01,947
Fragile and timeless.
80
00:06:04,122 --> 00:06:06,745
Let's go with soft lights.
81
00:06:13,718 --> 00:06:17,066
A bamboo chute,
which has pierced...
82
00:06:17,307 --> 00:06:20,483
Adrian's naval and has...
83
00:06:20,656 --> 00:06:25,108
Oh God, I don't know, sprung
a rose, at which you then...
84
00:06:25,281 --> 00:06:29,527
stare, transfixed,
and so I say...
85
00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:32,219
happy anniversary.
86
00:06:32,944 --> 00:06:36,430
35 years is too long
to sustain a relationship...
87
00:06:36,603 --> 00:06:38,743
as we're all designed
to be dead by then...
88
00:06:38,915 --> 00:06:42,505
evolutionarily speaking,
so kudos...
89
00:06:42,678 --> 00:06:45,715
to modern science for
making generations...
90
00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:50,962
feel like failures at love,
except, apparently, you...
91
00:06:51,134 --> 00:06:53,792
Adrian and Linda...
92
00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:56,933
and for that I congratulate
you both.
93
00:06:57,175 --> 00:07:01,524
Julian Sklar, signing off.
94
00:07:05,355 --> 00:07:07,979
Hello?
95
00:07:08,911 --> 00:07:10,982
I'm here for the four o'clock?
96
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:13,674
It's up one more.
97
00:07:14,364 --> 00:07:17,920
Antanas. Is that a name?
98
00:07:18,127 --> 00:07:22,234
And does it even matter
as it's unpronounceable...
99
00:07:22,407 --> 00:07:23,546
and does violence to the ear.
100
00:07:23,719 --> 00:07:26,307
So I shall call you Tony.
101
00:07:26,756 --> 00:07:29,621
And for your birthday, Tony...
102
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:31,934
imagine me drawing
you a tiger...
103
00:07:33,004 --> 00:07:36,559
upon which you are
gallantly perched...
104
00:07:36,732 --> 00:07:40,080
in your sleeveless
Tottenham Hotspur shirt.
105
00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:43,946
Which at 48 you are far
too old to be wearing.
106
00:07:44,118 --> 00:07:45,706
And I am Julian Sklar.
107
00:07:45,879 --> 00:07:50,021
And here I am signing off.
108
00:07:50,193 --> 00:07:53,231
Tea, coffee, water?
109
00:07:56,027 --> 00:07:58,926
Oh, thank you.
110
00:07:59,099 --> 00:08:00,928
Water would be great
actually, yes.
111
00:08:01,101 --> 00:08:04,967
Well, be a dear, and grab me one
as well. Just by the front door.
112
00:08:06,865 --> 00:08:09,281
Jeremy.
113
00:08:09,627 --> 00:08:12,388
Jeremy, you again?
114
00:08:28,438 --> 00:08:32,028
Alisa, Julian Sklar here.
115
00:08:32,822 --> 00:08:36,446
Your mother would like me to
tell you not to quit art school.
116
00:08:36,619 --> 00:08:40,036
Seriously though, do.
117
00:08:40,278 --> 00:08:42,660
Those clowns at Camberwell
will poison you...
118
00:08:42,832 --> 00:08:45,455
with their Sainsbury's
aisles and ideas...
119
00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:48,355
processed, packed in plastic.
120
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,772
The stalest up front so
that you buy into those first.
121
00:08:51,945 --> 00:08:55,845
Grow your own, I say.
Go organic!
122
00:08:56,466 --> 00:08:58,814
Although I hear that's
all rubbish too.
123
00:08:58,986 --> 00:09:01,817
Do you know how much
plastic we eat in a week?
124
00:09:02,714 --> 00:09:04,336
A credit card's worth.
125
00:09:04,509 --> 00:09:07,477
It's in the water now.
It's hopeless.
126
00:09:07,926 --> 00:09:11,792
So happy birthday, stay
in school, blah, blah.
127
00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:15,520
I'm Julian Sklar and here I am
as I always am...
128
00:09:15,693 --> 00:09:17,591
signing off.
129
00:09:22,527 --> 00:09:24,633
149 pounds.
130
00:09:28,188 --> 00:09:29,845
249 if I sign.
131
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,470
- Oh water?
- Yeah.
132
00:09:34,643 --> 00:09:37,853
Thank you. Never get old.
133
00:09:38,819 --> 00:09:40,165
Oh, I'm sorry.
134
00:09:41,442 --> 00:09:44,273
Oh, Lori Butler.
135
00:09:44,445 --> 00:09:46,827
Never get old, Lori Butler.
136
00:09:47,517 --> 00:09:49,347
Yes, would you sit?
137
00:09:54,007 --> 00:09:57,113
It's been a while since I
interviewed an assistant.
138
00:09:57,562 --> 00:09:59,875
So, tell me about yourself.
139
00:10:00,047 --> 00:10:02,774
However, if you are a painter...
140
00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:05,501
I don't want to know about it.
141
00:10:05,984 --> 00:10:07,192
And do dispense with the...
142
00:10:07,296 --> 00:10:11,438
"big fan, you were with me
through" whatever drudgery...
143
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,440
your life's journey
has taken you.
144
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:17,893
Heartbreak, blah,
blah, grieving. Because
we both know...
145
00:10:18,065 --> 00:10:21,931
that's a lie as I've done
nothing but shit in 30 years.
146
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:23,933
Nothing at all in 20.
147
00:10:25,072 --> 00:10:27,903
"You made me want to be an
artist." No, my dear.
148
00:10:28,075 --> 00:10:30,146
Your fucked-up childhood made
you want to be an artist.
149
00:10:30,319 --> 00:10:34,185
I'm just what you tripped over
as you scurried to freedom.
150
00:10:39,086 --> 00:10:40,432
Lori is it?
151
00:10:42,262 --> 00:10:45,886
If you claim to be a fan of
that hideous reality show...
152
00:10:46,059 --> 00:10:49,890
Art Fight, you may
show yourself out now.
153
00:10:51,202 --> 00:10:55,206
Even the creators of that
pandering pig slop weren't fans.
154
00:10:55,689 --> 00:11:00,176
And I realize this makes it
challenging to find
a compliment...
155
00:11:00,349 --> 00:11:02,351
that doesn't read
like obsequiousness.
156
00:11:02,523 --> 00:11:04,629
And for that to have
my sympathies.
157
00:11:05,043 --> 00:11:07,425
Because don't get me
wrong, I like my flattery.
158
00:11:07,597 --> 00:11:09,461
I just need to believe it.
159
00:11:09,634 --> 00:11:13,983
So for now, I'll take, "I am a
woman, and I don't hate
you, Julian."
160
00:11:14,363 --> 00:11:17,262
They hate me, the women,
even more than the men.
161
00:11:18,091 --> 00:11:20,265
I was bisexual, Lori...
162
00:11:20,438 --> 00:11:23,752
when it actually cost
something to say so.
163
00:11:24,062 --> 00:11:27,031
Are you any good
with humidifiers?
164
00:11:28,791 --> 00:11:30,379
I'm sorry.
165
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:34,210
Well, I'm told that I would
benefit from the use of
a humidifier...
166
00:11:34,866 --> 00:11:36,868
and the infographics...
167
00:11:37,904 --> 00:11:40,354
they burn a shadow
on the retina...
168
00:11:41,908 --> 00:11:45,256
arrows into screw holes,
into arrows...
169
00:11:46,913 --> 00:11:48,777
into whatever shapes those are.
170
00:11:49,122 --> 00:11:52,056
Would you like some help in
assembling your humidifier?
171
00:11:52,573 --> 00:11:55,335
Well, though I
hesitate to take you up on your
very kind offer...
172
00:11:57,475 --> 00:11:59,477
begrudgingly, thank you.
173
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:06,553
So, we've established
you are not an artist...
174
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:11,627
and you're not a fan and you
may or may not be bisexual.
175
00:12:12,076 --> 00:12:13,905
Oh, which reminds me...
176
00:12:14,078 --> 00:12:17,495
there are recent editions
on the Wikipedia...
177
00:12:17,909 --> 00:12:21,050
quotes taken out of context
and one in context...
178
00:12:21,223 --> 00:12:25,261
but spoken while
inebriated and thus I can't be
held accountable.
179
00:12:27,263 --> 00:12:29,472
Ah, but what I said was true...
180
00:12:30,025 --> 00:12:34,339
over 75% of enrollment in
the art schools is women.
181
00:12:34,512 --> 00:12:36,341
And my question was
simply a question...
182
00:12:36,514 --> 00:12:41,277
why then are women not in
75% percent of museums, Lori?
183
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,005
You did say it was Lori?
184
00:12:46,835 --> 00:12:49,044
On the subject of Lori...
185
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,910
what did they tell you
about this job?
186
00:12:53,669 --> 00:12:56,810
- They?
- Yes, my offspring.
187
00:12:56,983 --> 00:13:00,641
The dud Barnaby and
the harridan Sallie.
188
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:04,714
Yeah, they said you were
hiring an assistant...
189
00:13:04,887 --> 00:13:08,684
to help catalog some of your
things so they can be valued...
190
00:13:08,857 --> 00:13:11,273
by the HMRC or something
like that.
191
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,897
And they recommended
you highly...
192
00:13:15,070 --> 00:13:18,452
which is frankly why I'm
a tad suspicious.
193
00:13:18,901 --> 00:13:21,662
I must be reminded not
to carry things.
194
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:22,802
Oh!
195
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,597
That's according to my osteo...
196
00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:27,737
a smallish man named Cyril.
197
00:13:27,910 --> 00:13:29,532
Interesting tidbit
about Cyril...
198
00:13:29,705 --> 00:13:31,396
he smells of radishes.
199
00:13:32,466 --> 00:13:33,916
Why?
200
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:39,025
This isn't about the
unfinished Christophers, is it?
201
00:13:39,749 --> 00:13:43,684
If so, you must tell me
because I won't paint them.
202
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,825
I can't paint them.
And please don't ask.
203
00:13:45,997 --> 00:13:48,206
Please don't even speak of them.
204
00:13:48,379 --> 00:13:50,105
Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't what
you're talking about.
205
00:13:50,277 --> 00:13:51,244
Well, my children are
obsessed with them...
206
00:13:51,347 --> 00:13:53,073
and I wouldn't have put it
past them if this...
207
00:13:53,246 --> 00:13:55,696
had been somehow about that.
208
00:13:56,352 --> 00:13:59,873
Oh, they're not even clever.
Those two, they're wrecks.
209
00:14:00,218 --> 00:14:03,083
She, a train wreck,
utterly off the rails...
210
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:07,743
and he a shipwreck
sunken and waterlogged.
211
00:14:07,916 --> 00:14:10,642
Blame their mothers, not me.
I had nothing to do with them.
212
00:14:13,162 --> 00:14:14,681
I would not be
surprised, Lori...
213
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,857
if this was not so that
HMRC may, quote...
214
00:14:18,029 --> 00:14:20,066
"assess the value of
my estate..."
215
00:14:20,238 --> 00:14:23,966
but so that my children
could get intel on whether...
216
00:14:24,139 --> 00:14:26,382
I was truly leaving
them nothing.
217
00:14:26,555 --> 00:14:29,144
Ah, she has risen!
218
00:14:29,972 --> 00:14:33,182
My masseuse Esme, who is a gift
from the heavens.
219
00:14:33,355 --> 00:14:34,459
- Hi.
- Hi.
220
00:14:34,563 --> 00:14:36,565
Where I apparently have been
mistaken for someone else.
221
00:14:36,737 --> 00:14:39,913
She's here at the insistence
of Cyril the radish...
222
00:14:40,086 --> 00:14:42,088
who says I must be kinder
to my joints.
223
00:14:44,021 --> 00:14:47,334
It's all a faff, you know,
HMRC adore me.
224
00:14:47,507 --> 00:14:49,302
I haven't paid taxes
in a decade...
225
00:14:49,474 --> 00:14:52,201
but they've still got
one of my Garbage Twelves...
226
00:14:52,374 --> 00:14:54,686
in their lobby in
Parliament Street.
227
00:14:55,273 --> 00:14:58,276
And, alas, here it is.
228
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:03,799
A life to be summed up.
Itemised.
229
00:15:04,075 --> 00:15:06,215
Julian Sklar: The Spreadsheet.
230
00:15:06,388 --> 00:15:10,081
I don't even know what's up
there in the room above us.
231
00:15:10,288 --> 00:15:12,152
And the door's been
locked for decades.
232
00:15:12,325 --> 00:15:14,258
So, I shan't know
even going forward...
233
00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:16,639
should there be any
forward left.
234
00:15:17,606 --> 00:15:22,335
Yes. To the great displeasure
of the buzzard Barnaby...
235
00:15:22,783 --> 00:15:25,303
and the hyena Sallie...
236
00:15:25,476 --> 00:15:28,617
I have outlived the
actuarial prediction of...
237
00:15:28,789 --> 00:15:32,586
even the direst of those
foolish enough to insure me.
238
00:15:34,623 --> 00:15:37,143
At one point that had been
the goal to live forever.
239
00:15:37,315 --> 00:15:39,697
And I should have liked
to have bequeathed...
240
00:15:39,869 --> 00:15:42,251
that task to my art, but...
241
00:15:42,424 --> 00:15:45,668
sadly my art,
not unlike my talent...
242
00:15:46,497 --> 00:15:49,707
departed this life long
ago when, apparently...
243
00:15:49,879 --> 00:15:51,502
I was not paying attention.
244
00:15:52,572 --> 00:15:53,711
Excellent interview.
245
00:15:54,712 --> 00:15:57,163
I like you, Lori Butler.
246
00:15:57,335 --> 00:16:00,131
What about tomorrow
at the crack of noon?
247
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,547
Yeah, great.
248
00:16:25,087 --> 00:16:26,192
What's up?
249
00:16:27,641 --> 00:16:29,678
Yes, 12:00 p.m. tomorrow.
250
00:16:31,404 --> 00:16:34,165
Well, I have no idea. I don't
know what it's like up there.
251
00:16:34,338 --> 00:16:35,753
I don't know if they're
even there.
252
00:16:38,894 --> 00:16:41,310
Well, I would need the keys
for it first, wouldn't I?
253
00:16:44,417 --> 00:16:45,556
When I know.
254
00:16:47,661 --> 00:16:49,732
Sallie, I will call you
when I know...
255
00:16:49,905 --> 00:16:51,700
if he even has the paintings.
256
00:16:52,390 --> 00:16:53,460
Jesus.
257
00:17:19,452 --> 00:17:21,143
- You all right?
- Hi.
258
00:17:53,002 --> 00:17:57,697
Perhaps it's simply
"The Reason My
Therapist Chose...
259
00:17:57,869 --> 00:18:01,666
"Early Retirement Number Seven."
260
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:05,498
And next time, my dear, you have
the urge to express yourself...
261
00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:08,328
why don't you nip
down to Boots...
262
00:18:08,501 --> 00:18:11,883
and get yourself a pencil
and a notebook.
263
00:18:12,056 --> 00:18:14,403
It's a lot cheaper.
264
00:18:19,201 --> 00:18:21,169
What I can't stand
about painting...
265
00:18:21,341 --> 00:18:23,930
is you paint from the
heart, from the soul...
266
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,277
you give yourself to
everything you can.
267
00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:28,279
You pour it onto the canvas...
268
00:18:28,452 --> 00:18:32,214
and then some bloody agent
comes along and takes 45%.
269
00:18:32,387 --> 00:18:34,251
Well no more.
270
00:18:34,803 --> 00:18:35,700
Well,
they're quite a bargain.
271
00:18:35,804 --> 00:18:37,185
I do believe someone has
walked away with...
272
00:18:37,357 --> 00:18:38,565
a potentially 2 million pound...
273
00:18:38,669 --> 00:18:40,947
painting for 1,100 pounds.
How do you feel about that?
274
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,190
It would be a bargain
at 2 million...
275
00:18:42,293 --> 00:18:45,193
but whatever they pay,
I'm happy with. Thank you.
276
00:18:45,365 --> 00:18:46,746
Well, they
are all stunning.
277
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:47,816
Thank you very much.
278
00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:49,473
Of course the question
on everyone's lips is...
279
00:18:49,645 --> 00:18:51,199
will the Christophers
be making...
280
00:18:51,371 --> 00:18:52,648
an appearance on
the pavement today?
281
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,513
The Christophers...
282
00:18:58,516 --> 00:19:00,173
No, they're indoors somewhere.
283
00:19:00,346 --> 00:19:03,142
They're private matters.
Private affairs.
284
00:19:15,844 --> 00:19:18,295
Other door.
285
00:19:31,273 --> 00:19:32,447
Hello?
286
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:36,313
Hello?
287
00:19:39,074 --> 00:19:40,248
Hello.
288
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,354
Oh, coming!
289
00:19:44,113 --> 00:19:46,599
Come in.
290
00:19:48,325 --> 00:19:50,810
Do you mind me in
my dressing grown?
291
00:19:52,812 --> 00:19:54,607
Actually, I do.
292
00:19:58,611 --> 00:19:59,543
Okay.
293
00:20:03,754 --> 00:20:08,345
Weinstein has ruined the
robe for the rest of us.
294
00:20:11,382 --> 00:20:12,349
You needn't have worried.
295
00:20:12,452 --> 00:20:15,455
I can't bear the sight of it
open myself.
296
00:20:17,112 --> 00:20:18,700
Even when alone.
297
00:20:24,050 --> 00:20:26,811
Studio. This way.
298
00:20:29,573 --> 00:20:31,091
The locksmith should--
299
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,955
We shall take the scenic route.
300
00:20:33,162 --> 00:20:36,959
Yep, if he can't find a
key for what's up there...
301
00:20:37,132 --> 00:20:39,583
he'll have to change out the
whole third floor door lock.
302
00:20:41,343 --> 00:20:44,312
I'll get him to make you
a copy as well.
303
00:20:45,727 --> 00:20:47,867
But no copies for the kids.
304
00:20:48,868 --> 00:20:50,835
However hard they beg.
305
00:20:51,008 --> 00:20:55,737
Oh, now that was once
an entire dinosaur.
306
00:20:55,909 --> 00:20:58,912
Only had room inside
for three, as it happened.
307
00:20:59,568 --> 00:21:04,711
A fact that Ringo found
out the hard way.
308
00:21:05,643 --> 00:21:10,027
And oh, not the Ringo
you are thinking about.
309
00:21:10,476 --> 00:21:14,928
- No, this one was French.
- Right.
310
00:21:17,931 --> 00:21:21,038
So, what is other Lori?
311
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:25,387
Am I allowed to ask if
she has a boyfriend?
312
00:21:26,423 --> 00:21:28,528
I mean, no.
313
00:21:29,046 --> 00:21:30,772
No she doesn't?
314
00:21:30,944 --> 00:21:32,532
No, you're not allowed.
315
00:21:34,016 --> 00:21:34,983
Noted.
316
00:21:38,435 --> 00:21:39,919
Why not though?
317
00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:43,336
Well, firstly, we're at work.
318
00:21:43,716 --> 00:21:47,651
Nonsense. It's not like
we cease to be ourselves...
319
00:21:47,823 --> 00:21:50,516
simply by crossing some
conceptual boundary.
320
00:21:50,688 --> 00:21:53,829
Here I am at work and here
I'm at home. Ask away.
321
00:21:54,002 --> 00:21:55,624
At work. Oh don't you dare.
322
00:21:56,142 --> 00:21:57,316
All yours.
323
00:21:58,558 --> 00:22:01,043
You can't ask me
in either place...
324
00:22:01,216 --> 00:22:05,876
because you are my employer,
which means you hold the power.
325
00:22:06,048 --> 00:22:09,673
And I should use it to ask
if you have a partner.
326
00:22:10,536 --> 00:22:13,021
If you'll explain its relevance.
327
00:22:13,228 --> 00:22:15,644
The relevance is that
I'm curious.
328
00:22:17,232 --> 00:22:20,511
And who wouldn't want to bring
their life into their work?
329
00:22:20,684 --> 00:22:24,515
Unless, well, right.
330
00:22:24,688 --> 00:22:27,104
Yes, well, never mind. You said
that you weren't an artist.
331
00:22:27,276 --> 00:22:28,450
Actually you said that.
332
00:22:28,554 --> 00:22:31,177
Well, I swear that we had
that conversation yesterday.
333
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:32,765
Well, you know there was
speaking if that's what
you mean.
334
00:22:33,731 --> 00:22:36,078
Well, did I not ask questions?
335
00:22:37,632 --> 00:22:39,772
My children say that
I don't ask questions.
336
00:22:40,842 --> 00:22:42,602
And actually by definition...
337
00:22:42,775 --> 00:22:44,846
did I not ask questions
is a question.
338
00:22:45,018 --> 00:22:46,123
My children are idiots.
339
00:22:46,468 --> 00:22:49,160
I've no problem with
questions, Lori.
340
00:22:49,471 --> 00:22:51,715
It's the answers that
I can't be bothered with.
341
00:22:53,302 --> 00:22:57,583
Now you remember that I told
you that you were never...
342
00:22:57,755 --> 00:23:00,102
- to speak of the Christophers.
- Mm-hmm.
343
00:23:00,275 --> 00:23:03,312
Well, apparently I lied.
You are to speak of them once...
344
00:23:03,485 --> 00:23:06,108
when you tell me that
they are no more.
345
00:23:07,455 --> 00:23:09,180
No more?
346
00:23:09,353 --> 00:23:12,529
The canvases are buried deep in
the back of the third floor...
347
00:23:12,701 --> 00:23:16,464
and you are to bring them down
here and shred them to bits.
348
00:23:18,293 --> 00:23:21,192
I'm to shred the Christophers?
349
00:23:21,365 --> 00:23:23,505
What? Oh, they're
not Christophers.
350
00:23:24,126 --> 00:23:26,784
They are musings on ideas that
could have been Christophers.
351
00:23:26,957 --> 00:23:30,236
And you are to obliterate them
and destroy the stretchers.
352
00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:31,237
And then bring me
the evidence...
353
00:23:31,340 --> 00:23:34,205
because I shan't go near
them myself.
354
00:23:34,378 --> 00:23:36,069
Okay.
355
00:23:36,242 --> 00:23:38,347
Would you like me to leave them
here when they're shredded?
356
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,488
Yes.
357
00:23:40,936 --> 00:23:43,076
It's not that I don't
trust you, Lori.
358
00:23:44,595 --> 00:23:47,909
The box cutter.
359
00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:49,876
It's just that I
don't trust you.
360
00:23:52,016 --> 00:23:55,157
Ah, that'll be the locksmith
and the facialist...
361
00:23:55,330 --> 00:23:58,954
whom I find to be nothing more
than a 90 minute endurance test.
362
00:23:59,127 --> 00:24:02,648
However, Esme demands
that I'm kinder to my skin.
363
00:24:02,820 --> 00:24:06,928
So I shall brace myself and go.
364
00:24:19,181 --> 00:24:20,907
Lockbox is sorted.
365
00:24:21,390 --> 00:24:23,427
Spare front door key...
366
00:24:24,152 --> 00:24:26,879
and third floor set to
go with the new door lock.
367
00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:48,018
Oh!
368
00:30:48,122 --> 00:30:51,228
I've changed my mind.
They shall not be shredded.
369
00:30:52,436 --> 00:30:54,093
Okay. Okay.
370
00:30:54,473 --> 00:30:56,026
They shall be burned.
371
00:30:57,407 --> 00:31:00,686
All right? Yeah, sure.
I will sort it.
372
00:31:00,997 --> 00:31:02,826
It is sorted.
373
00:31:03,689 --> 00:31:07,762
We shall do it together. Which
is to say you shall do it...
374
00:31:07,935 --> 00:31:09,868
and I shall watch.
375
00:31:12,111 --> 00:31:14,079
It's a bit early for
you though, isn't it?
376
00:31:14,251 --> 00:31:16,322
Well, I have been up all night.
377
00:31:17,013 --> 00:31:21,362
And I shan't sleep until
they are smoldering ash.
378
00:31:26,470 --> 00:31:27,816
Yes?
379
00:31:28,334 --> 00:31:30,785
I'm curious, what kept
you awake?
380
00:31:31,199 --> 00:31:34,962
Cascading memories of wrongs
done to me since my childhood.
381
00:31:35,238 --> 00:31:37,896
They came as if from
a kinetoscope.
382
00:31:38,482 --> 00:31:39,380
Hmm.
383
00:31:40,070 --> 00:31:41,727
Look it up, it's with a K.
384
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:46,559
Now to the fire pit. Follow me
or I shall burn them myself.
385
00:31:47,008 --> 00:31:50,149
Have you ever been
betrayed, Lori?
386
00:31:50,322 --> 00:31:54,464
Oh, I mean hasn't everybody?
387
00:31:55,810 --> 00:31:58,399
Can be quite painful.
Can it not?
388
00:31:59,089 --> 00:32:01,712
No matter what the
relationship with the betrayer.
389
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,925
And how were you betrayed, Lori?
390
00:32:09,272 --> 00:32:13,138
I once had a partner
who left me.
391
00:32:13,310 --> 00:32:18,143
Oh my God. Your generation
does whine about everything.
392
00:32:20,973 --> 00:32:23,079
Left me for my other partner.
393
00:32:23,251 --> 00:32:25,598
Oh, be still my beating heart.
394
00:32:27,807 --> 00:32:29,671
Was this a throuple?
395
00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:33,917
It was a consensual relationship
between three adults. Yeah.
396
00:32:34,090 --> 00:32:36,575
Oh my, oh my, oh my.
397
00:32:37,852 --> 00:32:40,061
You know, I was once
in a throuple...
398
00:32:41,097 --> 00:32:44,410
back when it was merely
called infidelity.
399
00:32:44,583 --> 00:32:47,379
No, that-- Nevermind.
400
00:32:53,523 --> 00:32:57,009
Right, you toss them on.
401
00:32:58,597 --> 00:33:00,564
Oh, you seem hesitant.
402
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:04,913
Yeah, I mean they're
Julian Sklars.
403
00:33:05,086 --> 00:33:06,605
Oh, please.
404
00:33:08,676 --> 00:33:10,471
May I ask what's going on?
405
00:33:10,643 --> 00:33:14,302
Oh, the great, "What's going
on?" Yes. What's going on?
406
00:33:14,475 --> 00:33:16,995
That is the question
of the day, isn't it?
407
00:33:17,754 --> 00:33:21,516
In the fire pit now, please.
408
00:33:38,292 --> 00:33:41,640
Right. And now we need the
turpentine and matches.
409
00:33:41,812 --> 00:33:43,159
So crack on, Lori.
410
00:33:44,229 --> 00:33:46,403
First we have a little chat.
411
00:33:48,060 --> 00:33:51,098
Sit. If you would.
412
00:33:59,796 --> 00:34:03,248
And on the subject of
what is going on...
413
00:34:05,491 --> 00:34:10,393
Perhaps you would like to tell
me exactly why you are here.
414
00:34:12,567 --> 00:34:17,020
I mean... To pay my rent.
415
00:34:17,296 --> 00:34:20,058
And why did you seek
and then take this job?
416
00:34:24,476 --> 00:34:29,308
You did tell me not to
mention if I was an artist...
417
00:34:29,481 --> 00:34:34,037
or a fan, but I thought
maybe I'd learn something...
418
00:34:34,210 --> 00:34:36,108
by being in your vicinity.
419
00:34:36,557 --> 00:34:37,696
Really?
420
00:34:39,215 --> 00:34:41,493
Learn what exactly?
421
00:34:44,116 --> 00:34:46,912
Perhaps "how a man...
422
00:34:47,568 --> 00:34:50,881
"once a paradigm of
progressive politics...
423
00:34:51,227 --> 00:34:54,022
"could morph into the
apotheosis of everything...
424
00:34:54,195 --> 00:34:55,714
"that is currently wrong...
425
00:34:55,886 --> 00:35:00,374
"with everything artistically
and economically?"
426
00:35:00,546 --> 00:35:05,586
Or how a "bloated ego
in yesterday's beret..."
427
00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:09,314
could "squat on property
unaffordable...
428
00:35:09,486 --> 00:35:12,627
"and hence uninhabitable
for generations to come..."
429
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,631
whose "only outrage at so-called
"canceled culture" came...
430
00:35:16,804 --> 00:35:19,841
"once he had been justifiably
canceled himself."
431
00:35:20,566 --> 00:35:24,225
"Justifiably," says his
future assistant...
432
00:35:26,296 --> 00:35:29,334
on January the 3rd, 2022.
433
00:35:32,337 --> 00:35:35,616
And she goes on. "Bloviating..."
434
00:35:35,892 --> 00:35:38,998
she says, "in the voice of the
very thing, not just his work...
435
00:35:39,171 --> 00:35:43,244
"but his entire being so
vociferously railed against
joining...
436
00:35:43,417 --> 00:35:46,213
"his once impressive
ascension..."
437
00:35:46,385 --> 00:35:48,491
which preceded the
"artistic immolation..."
438
00:35:48,663 --> 00:35:50,424
"and subsequent
"crash and burn..."
439
00:35:50,596 --> 00:35:54,152
into the "soulless junk
heap of irrelevance..."
440
00:35:54,324 --> 00:35:58,156
reserved for those who
have "exploded our culture...
441
00:35:58,328 --> 00:36:01,607
"and imploded their legacy."
442
00:36:03,333 --> 00:36:06,647
"And will his work even last?
443
00:36:07,199 --> 00:36:11,030
"Or will it go the way of the
lava lamp and the leisure suit?
444
00:36:11,203 --> 00:36:14,724
"And if it doesn't,
shouldn't it?"
445
00:36:18,797 --> 00:36:20,316
Not even "should it."
446
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,836
"Shouldn't it."
447
00:36:33,018 --> 00:36:37,919
Never underestimate the
internet prowess of a man...
448
00:36:38,334 --> 00:36:41,199
who has spent decades
googling himself.
449
00:36:45,548 --> 00:36:47,929
So, why are you here?
450
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,246
I was hired by
Barnaby and Sallie...
451
00:36:54,419 --> 00:36:56,766
to complete the
unfinished Christophers.
452
00:37:01,391 --> 00:37:03,359
- Really?
- Yeah.
453
00:37:06,500 --> 00:37:08,191
Why?
454
00:37:08,950 --> 00:37:13,438
So they could have something
from you. I guess, when you die.
455
00:37:16,303 --> 00:37:18,201
- You mean to sell?
- Yeah.
456
00:37:18,374 --> 00:37:20,238
Just to sell?
457
00:37:21,998 --> 00:37:24,587
So the idea would be...
458
00:37:27,693 --> 00:37:31,214
I would return them
to the third floor...
459
00:37:31,525 --> 00:37:33,285
where they would sit.
460
00:37:34,182 --> 00:37:36,392
- Until I died.
- Yeah.
461
00:37:40,534 --> 00:37:42,294
And you know them how?
462
00:37:44,331 --> 00:37:47,955
Sallie and I met in art school.
463
00:37:48,818 --> 00:37:50,337
You know, she went by a
different last name...
464
00:37:50,509 --> 00:37:52,373
but we all knew.
465
00:37:52,891 --> 00:37:56,308
Well, the school knew. She would
never have got in on her talent.
466
00:37:57,102 --> 00:38:01,002
She said that she and her
brother had a job for me.
467
00:38:03,004 --> 00:38:07,526
Well, it is the smartest thing
they thought of in decades.
468
00:38:07,699 --> 00:38:09,873
I'll give them that.
And your cut?
469
00:38:12,393 --> 00:38:13,912
A third.
470
00:38:15,638 --> 00:38:18,641
And what makes you think
that you could do it?
471
00:38:20,056 --> 00:38:22,576
Well, they said that
you were never up there.
472
00:38:24,094 --> 00:38:25,579
No!
473
00:38:25,751 --> 00:38:28,685
What makes you think you
could actually do it? Do it!
474
00:38:30,756 --> 00:38:33,828
Well, the original
brushes are all up there.
475
00:38:34,588 --> 00:38:39,765
The paints, the palette
knives, the linseed, the rags.
476
00:38:40,594 --> 00:38:43,493
Those Kendall Plushes have
been deadstock for decades.
477
00:38:43,666 --> 00:38:46,289
The microfibres alone
would vet huge.
478
00:38:46,462 --> 00:38:47,566
Well, you must know
that your very premise...
479
00:38:47,670 --> 00:38:51,190
that it is the correct equipment
which makes the work...
480
00:38:51,363 --> 00:38:53,365
the work, is bollocks.
481
00:38:55,885 --> 00:38:58,370
I guess that's where
the art of it comes in.
482
00:38:59,647 --> 00:39:00,890
Art?
483
00:39:03,202 --> 00:39:08,000
That's the part I am most
interested in, I guess.
484
00:39:08,173 --> 00:39:10,002
The art of what?
485
00:39:12,004 --> 00:39:13,730
Becoming someone else.
486
00:39:14,075 --> 00:39:16,423
Oh, poo.
487
00:39:18,425 --> 00:39:21,393
Get yourself your own
mindset, Lori Butler.
488
00:39:21,566 --> 00:39:24,534
You inhabit that.
You don't squat in mine.
489
00:39:25,397 --> 00:39:26,812
It takes guts.
490
00:39:27,503 --> 00:39:28,814
It takes blood.
491
00:39:28,918 --> 00:39:32,749
It took my blood, and don't you
think you can bleed for me.
492
00:39:34,164 --> 00:39:36,374
Oh, and it seems that you
are not the only person...
493
00:39:36,546 --> 00:39:40,550
in this room who wishes
that you were someone else.
494
00:39:40,723 --> 00:39:42,276
I understand. I'm going to go.
495
00:39:42,449 --> 00:39:45,555
You are in my home.
You have lied to me.
496
00:39:45,728 --> 00:39:47,039
You have betrayed me.
497
00:39:48,662 --> 00:39:50,008
And you are, at least
for the time being...
498
00:39:50,180 --> 00:39:51,630
still in my employment.
499
00:39:51,803 --> 00:39:56,048
So do an old "bloviating
bloated ego" a kindness...
500
00:39:56,221 --> 00:40:00,950
and grab a stretched blank
canvas from upstairs.
501
00:40:01,122 --> 00:40:02,883
- What?
- Any size.
502
00:40:03,055 --> 00:40:05,126
You've seen yourself,
there are dozens.
503
00:40:06,921 --> 00:40:08,233
Why?
504
00:40:08,682 --> 00:40:10,131
Because I have one more
question for you.
505
00:40:10,304 --> 00:40:12,340
And believe me, I shall pay...
506
00:40:12,513 --> 00:40:13,963
particular attention
to your answer.
507
00:40:14,135 --> 00:40:17,449
And after that, by all
means, you are free to leave.
508
00:40:35,812 --> 00:40:36,848
On there.
509
00:40:50,931 --> 00:40:52,208
My question.
510
00:40:54,486 --> 00:40:57,524
You say you can paint
in my style.
511
00:41:01,286 --> 00:41:02,598
Do it then.
512
00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:06,912
That's not a question.
513
00:41:09,018 --> 00:41:11,503
Will you paint what you
believe I would paint...
514
00:41:13,401 --> 00:41:15,749
were I whomever you
think I was...
515
00:41:15,921 --> 00:41:20,201
whenever you think I was
whatever you think I was?
516
00:41:24,999 --> 00:41:27,208
- No.
- No. Because you can't.
517
00:41:33,836 --> 00:41:35,562
- Case closed.
- I'm not going to do this.
518
00:41:36,045 --> 00:41:38,116
Thank you for the job.
And I'm sorry.
519
00:41:38,772 --> 00:41:40,498
How would you know...
520
00:41:41,982 --> 00:41:46,158
how I would've painted them
when even I don't know...
521
00:41:47,988 --> 00:41:49,852
how I would have painted them?
522
00:41:51,163 --> 00:41:54,339
I actually am truly sorry.
523
00:42:06,765 --> 00:42:09,975
The first Christopher series,
1994 and '95...
524
00:42:10,148 --> 00:42:13,185
have a very distinct
trajectory in my mind.
525
00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:16,257
The marks on number
one are tentative.
526
00:42:16,430 --> 00:42:20,434
There's a delicacy verging on a
kind of inadvertent pointillism.
527
00:42:20,607 --> 00:42:22,160
At least in the undercoat.
528
00:42:22,332 --> 00:42:24,611
The colors warm with
each successive layer.
529
00:42:24,990 --> 00:42:27,924
The bottoms are all
Prussian blues, cherry reds...
530
00:42:28,097 --> 00:42:30,858
but as the layers rise,
the reds get rustier.
531
00:42:31,134 --> 00:42:34,655
You even used ochre, a shade you
told David Sylvester was...
532
00:42:34,828 --> 00:42:36,450
"sentimental slop."
533
00:42:36,830 --> 00:42:38,659
In the third and fourth
the lac got denser...
534
00:42:38,832 --> 00:42:40,627
and the oils thickened.
535
00:42:40,834 --> 00:42:44,285
There was a liftedness,
almost like you were dancing.
536
00:42:44,734 --> 00:42:47,150
The paint was literally
coming off the canvas...
537
00:42:47,323 --> 00:42:49,049
and there was more
light around his face...
538
00:42:49,428 --> 00:42:52,121
as his look moved more
and more to the center.
539
00:42:52,293 --> 00:42:53,640
Towards his creator.
540
00:42:55,331 --> 00:42:56,884
What are you saying then?
541
00:42:57,678 --> 00:42:58,817
You were falling in love...
542
00:42:58,990 --> 00:43:01,475
and for the first time
you were free.
543
00:43:01,958 --> 00:43:03,684
I believe you came out then.
544
00:43:03,857 --> 00:43:05,375
At least publicly.
545
00:43:06,238 --> 00:43:10,726
But in the second series, 1997,
'98, it shifted.
546
00:43:10,898 --> 00:43:12,348
By the fifth in series two...
547
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:14,419
you can see the hesitation
in the line.
548
00:43:14,799 --> 00:43:16,973
The pressure becomes uneven.
549
00:43:17,284 --> 00:43:21,219
Heavy darks start to appear
up top. Patches of blank.
550
00:43:21,391 --> 00:43:22,807
And Christopher's gaze...
551
00:43:22,979 --> 00:43:25,913
drifts further and further
off the canvas again.
552
00:43:26,086 --> 00:43:27,639
And you started retouching.
553
00:43:27,812 --> 00:43:30,331
Sometimes eight layers, ten.
554
00:43:30,504 --> 00:43:33,369
Like you were trying to grasp
an image that wasn't there.
555
00:43:33,887 --> 00:43:36,648
Number six looks like it
was restarted 12, 13 times...
556
00:43:36,821 --> 00:43:38,788
and by eight there's
a wooden quality.
557
00:43:39,271 --> 00:43:42,447
Almost as if you were
painting by rote.
558
00:43:42,723 --> 00:43:46,658
And the blanks spread like
they were metastasizing.
559
00:43:46,831 --> 00:43:50,386
Thomas McEvilley said
they had a joyful lightness...
560
00:43:50,558 --> 00:43:52,250
a spirited lyricism.
561
00:43:52,422 --> 00:43:55,356
McEvilley was wrong.
Graham-Dixon was wrong.
562
00:43:55,529 --> 00:43:57,324
Marina Vaizey was wrong.
563
00:43:57,496 --> 00:44:01,190
The lightness was forced,
and the joy was a lie.
564
00:44:01,708 --> 00:44:02,950
It was obvious in the seventh...
565
00:44:03,123 --> 00:44:04,883
and by the eighth
it was glaring.
566
00:44:05,366 --> 00:44:06,747
It was over.
567
00:44:08,197 --> 00:44:10,026
It wasn't very good,
that last one.
568
00:44:10,199 --> 00:44:11,234
No. It isn't.
569
00:44:11,338 --> 00:44:16,205
Some sap in Chicago paid
two mil for it during Covid...
570
00:44:16,377 --> 00:44:17,965
- I heard.
- Yeah.
571
00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:19,760
Well.
572
00:44:20,658 --> 00:44:23,384
- Hence?
- Here we are.
573
00:44:25,179 --> 00:44:26,664
Here we are then.
574
00:44:28,493 --> 00:44:31,703
Grave robbers crawling
through the mud to exhume...
575
00:44:31,876 --> 00:44:35,811
a trinket from some
already rotted coffin.
576
00:44:38,848 --> 00:44:40,781
And this third series...
577
00:44:41,609 --> 00:44:46,580
Am I-- Sorry, "I," to have
painted them recently or...?
578
00:44:46,753 --> 00:44:49,548
No, back then was the thought.
579
00:44:50,204 --> 00:44:52,448
Of course when they were
actually worth something...
580
00:44:53,138 --> 00:44:57,004
and then "I'm" to have
buried them upstairs.
581
00:44:57,867 --> 00:45:00,801
Didn't want them seen
would be the story I guess.
582
00:45:02,285 --> 00:45:03,424
Too painful.
583
00:45:04,287 --> 00:45:05,392
Something like that.
584
00:45:05,599 --> 00:45:07,428
Yes. The breakup was hard.
585
00:45:08,153 --> 00:45:09,085
Hmm.
586
00:45:10,017 --> 00:45:11,501
It wasn't. I'd done with them.
587
00:45:11,674 --> 00:45:12,744
Sure.
588
00:45:13,641 --> 00:45:15,713
- I had.
- Fine.
589
00:45:20,372 --> 00:45:22,927
I must say I found
your prep impressive.
590
00:45:23,099 --> 00:45:24,722
I've got to give you that.
591
00:45:24,894 --> 00:45:26,102
There was no prep.
592
00:45:32,419 --> 00:45:34,870
That could be some bloody
package I've forgotten...
593
00:45:35,042 --> 00:45:36,492
I've ordered.
594
00:45:36,664 --> 00:45:38,528
Oh, they're so
impatient, Amazon.
595
00:45:39,219 --> 00:45:41,946
Oh, bollocks!
596
00:45:42,291 --> 00:45:43,671
It's Barnaby.
597
00:45:43,948 --> 00:45:47,848
Unless... Oh Christ.
598
00:45:48,021 --> 00:45:52,853
It's Sallie too. Oh, oh,
fuck me, it's both of them.
599
00:45:53,647 --> 00:45:55,235
Hang on!
600
00:45:56,857 --> 00:45:58,790
Hang on!
601
00:45:59,377 --> 00:46:03,830
Buzzards on the buzzers.
602
00:46:04,037 --> 00:46:07,316
Hi, Dad, I know what you said,
but may we come in please?
603
00:46:08,558 --> 00:46:09,663
Why?
604
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:11,769
We need to speak
to your assistant.
605
00:46:11,941 --> 00:46:13,805
Oh, I forgot what her name is.
606
00:46:13,978 --> 00:46:16,290
Do you know I can't
recall it either?
607
00:46:18,914 --> 00:46:20,294
Barney, any ideas?
608
00:46:21,261 --> 00:46:25,161
- Lisa maybe.
- Yes! Lisa Maybe.
609
00:46:26,369 --> 00:46:28,026
Why?
610
00:46:28,199 --> 00:46:29,027
We just got a form that she
urgently needs to fill out.
611
00:46:31,409 --> 00:46:33,031
- Tax related.
- Very.
612
00:46:33,756 --> 00:46:35,344
Very tax related.
613
00:46:36,448 --> 00:46:37,691
Yeah, we've been trying
to call her...
614
00:46:37,864 --> 00:46:39,313
but she's not been
picking up, so...
615
00:46:40,349 --> 00:46:41,833
So, is she here?
616
00:46:43,145 --> 00:46:46,286
Yes. Lisa Maybe is here.
So do come in.
617
00:46:47,218 --> 00:46:50,531
As there's something I need to
speak with you about as well.
618
00:46:51,912 --> 00:46:53,983
The Christophers.
619
00:46:55,502 --> 00:46:56,434
The...?
620
00:46:58,091 --> 00:46:59,540
Sorry, Dad. Which are those?
621
00:47:00,783 --> 00:47:02,233
Oh, have I got the name wrong?
622
00:47:02,405 --> 00:47:04,994
Oh gosh, Dad. I mean,
you've painted so many.
623
00:47:05,167 --> 00:47:07,169
Christopher. Christopher.
624
00:47:07,341 --> 00:47:10,655
Why am I so fixated on
that name then?
625
00:47:11,414 --> 00:47:14,383
Which was the one that I said,
perhaps you can recall this.
626
00:47:14,555 --> 00:47:17,179
Which was the one that
you took a whack at...
627
00:47:17,489 --> 00:47:20,182
at some point last year
accidentally thinking...
628
00:47:20,354 --> 00:47:22,011
that it was not in
fact an egregious...
629
00:47:22,184 --> 00:47:24,911
act of dishonesty and betrayal?
630
00:47:25,083 --> 00:47:27,327
Oh right. Yeah, those, those.
631
00:47:27,499 --> 00:47:28,397
Dad, what about them?
632
00:47:28,500 --> 00:47:31,365
Well, I have asked Lisa
Maybe to destroy them.
633
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:34,713
- What?
- Wait, why?
634
00:47:34,886 --> 00:47:36,025
Well, she can't, Dad.
635
00:47:36,198 --> 00:47:37,958
Oh, I already have.
636
00:47:38,131 --> 00:47:40,892
- What the fuck, Lori?
- Yes. That's her name. Lori!
637
00:47:41,065 --> 00:47:42,445
- And she has burned--
- Shredded.
638
00:47:43,861 --> 00:47:45,448
- She's shredded them.
- Fuck off.
639
00:47:45,621 --> 00:47:47,899
Bullshit, even he knows
you're bullshitting.
640
00:47:48,072 --> 00:47:49,625
- Yeah. Where are they then?
- Hang on.
641
00:47:57,184 --> 00:47:59,014
Dad, you can't.
642
00:48:00,084 --> 00:48:02,327
Well, apparently I did.
643
00:48:02,500 --> 00:48:03,673
But they're not yours.
644
00:48:04,433 --> 00:48:08,782
Well, meaning that they
are the world's.
645
00:48:08,955 --> 00:48:11,612
- The world of art.
- But not, of course yours.
646
00:48:11,785 --> 00:48:12,682
No, no!
647
00:48:12,786 --> 00:48:14,546
The furthest thing
from our minds.
648
00:48:15,168 --> 00:48:19,793
Well, you should get out
and give them to the world.
649
00:48:20,276 --> 00:48:24,349
And to do that, you should
get out now and get started.
650
00:48:24,522 --> 00:48:26,006
You stupid, stupid man.
651
00:48:26,179 --> 00:48:28,215
Get out of my house now.
652
00:48:29,665 --> 00:48:30,873
The two of you.
653
00:48:31,046 --> 00:48:33,255
Great. Now you've
shredded each other.
654
00:48:33,427 --> 00:48:35,395
So I hope you feel very
good about it.
655
00:48:35,774 --> 00:48:37,017
Shredded each other?
656
00:48:40,055 --> 00:48:41,401
What does that mean?
657
00:48:41,573 --> 00:48:43,023
Nothing.
658
00:48:44,197 --> 00:48:46,682
- Nothing?
- Nothing.
659
00:48:48,891 --> 00:48:51,998
And these, what are these?
660
00:48:53,137 --> 00:48:57,451
These are fakes,
which I shredded.
661
00:48:58,659 --> 00:49:00,006
The real ones...
662
00:49:00,282 --> 00:49:02,836
the ones you were
about to incinerate...
663
00:49:03,009 --> 00:49:05,011
are outside in the fire pit.
664
00:49:06,874 --> 00:49:09,084
Right?
665
00:49:10,326 --> 00:49:11,293
So?
666
00:49:12,121 --> 00:49:14,365
So, let's go.
667
00:49:19,335 --> 00:49:23,063
As you are still, for
the moment, my employee...
668
00:49:23,236 --> 00:49:27,309
I'm ordering you to come out
to the fire pit and burn them.
669
00:49:27,481 --> 00:49:30,001
Well, as your employee
has now quit...
670
00:49:30,346 --> 00:49:32,210
I wish you good luck with that.
671
00:49:33,177 --> 00:49:34,799
Well, I'll go and do it
myself then.
672
00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:37,388
Oh, really?
673
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:38,527
Really.
674
00:49:40,598 --> 00:49:41,702
"Crack on," then.
675
00:49:57,304 --> 00:49:59,548
How's the bonfire going?
676
00:50:02,654 --> 00:50:07,383
What did you mean,
"I'd imploded my legacy"?
677
00:50:10,524 --> 00:50:15,115
If you were to ask my cousin
who Julian Sklar is...
678
00:50:15,288 --> 00:50:17,566
he would say the guy that
yelled at kids...
679
00:50:17,738 --> 00:50:21,811
and housewives on Art Fight.
680
00:50:23,261 --> 00:50:26,747
Yes. Well, they get
off easy. Yes.
681
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:29,509
I was the one being tortured.
682
00:50:29,681 --> 00:50:32,650
I was waterboarded by a
deluge of kittens, Lori.
683
00:50:32,822 --> 00:50:36,516
Each one more hideously
adorable than the next.
684
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:40,244
Bopping at yarn. In acrylic.
685
00:50:41,072 --> 00:50:42,901
Watercolor. Watercolor, Lori.
686
00:50:43,074 --> 00:50:45,318
Peach tones, lavender, lavender.
687
00:50:46,802 --> 00:50:49,149
Well, no, I did them a favor.
688
00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:52,187
Did you?
689
00:50:53,326 --> 00:50:55,017
Yes.
690
00:50:55,362 --> 00:51:00,781
I saved them from a lifetime
of heartache and rejection...
691
00:51:01,334 --> 00:51:04,923
and grasping at something that
they would never achieve.
692
00:51:05,303 --> 00:51:07,719
And worse. Clawing back
at something...
693
00:51:07,892 --> 00:51:09,928
that they would never recapture.
694
00:51:10,101 --> 00:51:14,692
Because success, Lori, is worse.
695
00:51:16,935 --> 00:51:19,386
Okay. Okay.
696
00:51:19,559 --> 00:51:22,838
Let's just stop this. Yeah?
697
00:51:25,012 --> 00:51:27,187
- What are you doing?
- You're not going to burn these.
698
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:29,879
What? I most certainly am.
699
00:51:30,535 --> 00:51:36,196
There is a reason you've
kept them for 25 years.
700
00:51:36,990 --> 00:51:38,888
If you really didn't want
them, you would've sold them...
701
00:51:39,061 --> 00:51:41,063
for shit at your stupid
jumble sale.
702
00:51:41,305 --> 00:51:43,583
Oh my "sidewalk salon."
703
00:51:43,755 --> 00:51:46,724
Oh, that was a bugger off
to an industry...
704
00:51:47,345 --> 00:51:48,553
who needed someone to
say it to them.
705
00:51:48,657 --> 00:51:51,867
It was a move that gave you
cover to pretend it was you...
706
00:51:52,039 --> 00:51:54,870
who was in control of
his own downfall.
707
00:51:58,115 --> 00:52:01,152
No, but no, I'd done
with them. Lori.
708
00:52:01,325 --> 00:52:02,326
Yeah, because they were
done with you.
709
00:52:02,498 --> 00:52:04,811
It was a corrupt industry...
710
00:52:06,123 --> 00:52:07,434
in a corrupt world.
711
00:52:08,228 --> 00:52:11,369
Investments and tax shelters...
712
00:52:12,163 --> 00:52:15,718
and trophies for the
Billionaire Boys' Club.
713
00:52:15,891 --> 00:52:18,342
So, I left.
714
00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:20,137
No, you mean you quit.
715
00:52:20,309 --> 00:52:21,690
- No, I left.
- You gave in.
716
00:52:21,862 --> 00:52:24,175
I left. And on my own terms.
717
00:52:24,900 --> 00:52:27,696
And how do you know
if it's even art now...
718
00:52:27,868 --> 00:52:30,354
anyhow, it's all online?
719
00:52:31,769 --> 00:52:32,666
Oh, you get nothing...
720
00:52:32,770 --> 00:52:36,808
when you stare at something
through a screen.
721
00:52:39,949 --> 00:52:43,781
You know, I get yelled
at now from passing cars.
722
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:47,854
They call me a hack, a pig even.
723
00:52:48,026 --> 00:52:49,959
Offended somehow as if...
724
00:52:50,546 --> 00:52:53,273
we've got some sort of
personal relationship.
725
00:52:53,653 --> 00:52:55,689
You don't think it's
a personal relationship?
726
00:52:57,760 --> 00:52:58,692
Art?
727
00:52:59,555 --> 00:53:00,556
No.
728
00:53:01,488 --> 00:53:03,973
It's a man alone in his room.
729
00:53:04,802 --> 00:53:06,217
Me in this room.
730
00:53:08,115 --> 00:53:10,256
I have a relationship...
731
00:53:10,946 --> 00:53:12,775
with the canvas.
732
00:53:13,604 --> 00:53:16,779
And when I've said what I've
got to say to it, then it goes.
733
00:53:16,952 --> 00:53:18,540
Where do you think it goes?
734
00:53:21,059 --> 00:53:22,129
Do what you want.
735
00:53:22,233 --> 00:53:24,062
You can take them out.
You can burn them again.
736
00:53:24,235 --> 00:53:25,374
Don't leave me.
737
00:53:30,621 --> 00:53:31,725
Why...
738
00:53:32,968 --> 00:53:34,245
did you even care?
739
00:53:34,452 --> 00:53:38,318
And you were so livid
with me...
740
00:53:39,457 --> 00:53:41,356
in those writings.
741
00:53:42,943 --> 00:53:43,979
Why?
742
00:53:49,812 --> 00:53:50,917
I was 12.
743
00:53:51,987 --> 00:53:53,644
It was pissing down rain.
744
00:53:53,885 --> 00:53:58,994
I ditched school and snuck into
what happened to be a museum.
745
00:53:59,960 --> 00:54:00,892
Yes.
746
00:54:01,755 --> 00:54:03,067
Yes, what show?
747
00:54:03,619 --> 00:54:06,415
It was the one with the
famous artist's...
748
00:54:06,588 --> 00:54:08,279
work from when they were kids.
749
00:54:09,211 --> 00:54:11,351
You saw "Enfant Terrible."
750
00:54:12,214 --> 00:54:15,735
There was one you'd done my age
that was the easiest to copy.
751
00:54:16,183 --> 00:54:18,427
By which you mean it
was the one...
752
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:20,636
that hit you most profoundly
in your soul.
753
00:54:20,843 --> 00:54:22,500
By which I mean it
was literally called...
754
00:54:22,673 --> 00:54:25,123
Anyone Can Do This
and Call It Art.
755
00:54:25,296 --> 00:54:26,332
Yeah.
756
00:54:27,229 --> 00:54:28,575
Mrs. Hanley...
757
00:54:31,026 --> 00:54:32,545
she failed me for that one.
758
00:54:32,717 --> 00:54:36,273
"Oh, this is nothing but
a spiral of words, Julian.
759
00:54:36,825 --> 00:54:39,862
"You have desecrated the
canvas with everything...
760
00:54:40,035 --> 00:54:41,623
"that the assignment is not."
761
00:54:41,795 --> 00:54:44,281
But I said, "Yes!
762
00:54:45,178 --> 00:54:47,076
"Because it's more interesting."
763
00:54:49,976 --> 00:54:52,979
Yeah, and there was a
second piece of yours.
764
00:54:54,705 --> 00:54:57,017
It was a drawing from
when you were six.
765
00:54:57,190 --> 00:54:59,261
Boy Under Cloud.
766
00:54:59,434 --> 00:55:01,298
Boy Under Cloud.
767
00:55:01,677 --> 00:55:05,819
An oozing excretion of
maudlin treacle, that title.
768
00:55:07,027 --> 00:55:08,339
You were six.
769
00:55:09,651 --> 00:55:12,964
And did you find that
easy to copy as well?
770
00:55:15,208 --> 00:55:16,658
Not at 12.
771
00:55:19,799 --> 00:55:20,765
It was...
772
00:55:22,042 --> 00:55:22,974
impeccable.
773
00:55:24,700 --> 00:55:25,701
But?
774
00:55:28,773 --> 00:55:30,982
I quit, is that what
you're saying?
775
00:55:33,882 --> 00:55:37,161
Please God, don't feel
sorry for me.
776
00:55:38,058 --> 00:55:41,476
To be honest, I'd rather have
your rage than your pity.
777
00:55:41,648 --> 00:55:43,823
And now, if you'll excuse me.
778
00:55:46,895 --> 00:55:49,484
I need to pay for
tonight's meal.
779
00:55:52,003 --> 00:55:55,490
You are a quitter
yourself, you know, Lori.
780
00:55:56,836 --> 00:56:00,426
No one goes to art school to
become a restorer or a critic.
781
00:56:02,738 --> 00:56:04,602
I came in early this morning.
782
00:56:05,879 --> 00:56:06,984
Really?
783
00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:11,160
Yeah. 4:00, 5:00 am.
784
00:56:14,094 --> 00:56:17,235
Well, I'm sorry if such
industrious assistantism was...
785
00:56:17,408 --> 00:56:22,620
wasted on what turned out to be
an errant if dramatic misfire.
786
00:56:23,518 --> 00:56:25,899
- What it tells me--
- Excuse me.
787
00:56:38,843 --> 00:56:41,777
Good morning, Mario.
788
00:56:42,675 --> 00:56:47,300
Now you told me that you
want me to paint something...
789
00:56:47,473 --> 00:56:51,408
appropriately romantic
for your fiance.
790
00:56:51,580 --> 00:56:55,688
And I presume by
"appropriately..."
791
00:56:55,860 --> 00:56:59,243
that you want me to paint
it in vanishing ink.
792
00:57:57,715 --> 00:57:59,959
- Lori.
- Oh my God. What?
793
00:58:00,269 --> 00:58:02,479
I am not going back there.
794
00:58:02,651 --> 00:58:04,722
- But you have to.
- Because?
795
00:58:04,895 --> 00:58:07,138
Because you need to
start them from scratch.
796
00:58:07,311 --> 00:58:10,866
You've still got old canvases
and paints and brushes up there.
797
00:58:12,005 --> 00:58:14,387
Yeah. That's not
going to happen.
798
00:58:14,836 --> 00:58:17,010
Well, we think it is.
799
00:58:22,153 --> 00:58:24,673
Isidore Clemens. 1927.
800
00:58:25,950 --> 00:58:30,610
Sold for 25,000 in that
Kent art house in 2017.
801
00:58:30,783 --> 00:58:32,543
Split between that
corrupt gallerist...
802
00:58:32,716 --> 00:58:34,614
and the person opposite me.
803
00:58:35,304 --> 00:58:37,962
Maybe you shouldn't
write angry notes to exes.
804
00:58:38,549 --> 00:58:40,275
Especially those who still
speak to other...
805
00:58:40,447 --> 00:58:42,104
old college friends of yours.
806
00:58:42,484 --> 00:58:44,521
Sometimes people say things.
807
00:58:44,693 --> 00:58:47,454
I'm curious if the person
who paid the 25k might be...
808
00:58:47,627 --> 00:58:49,249
interested in knowing
it's a fake.
809
00:58:51,769 --> 00:58:54,634
Well, when you find out,
let me know.
810
00:58:55,014 --> 00:58:56,602
I don't think you want to
challenge this.
811
00:58:56,774 --> 00:58:59,708
Yeah, but you may need
to because you know...
812
00:58:59,881 --> 00:59:03,194
and I know that no one benefits
from that being exposed.
813
00:59:03,367 --> 00:59:04,886
Not the gallery,
not the artist...
814
00:59:05,058 --> 00:59:07,267
and certainly not the
person that bought it.
815
00:59:07,958 --> 00:59:09,856
Was that a confession
we just heard?
816
00:59:10,029 --> 00:59:12,687
No, but this is.
817
00:59:13,826 --> 00:59:16,173
I forged that painting.
818
00:59:17,070 --> 00:59:19,348
And I forged Astley's
In-Between.
819
00:59:19,625 --> 00:59:22,317
And I forged Panagatacos'
Six Shapes in Red.
820
00:59:23,318 --> 00:59:26,217
All of that was a long time ago.
821
00:59:27,736 --> 00:59:29,807
So you'll do what we say then?
822
00:59:29,980 --> 00:59:31,326
No.
823
00:59:31,637 --> 00:59:34,916
Well then, perhaps we'll see
you in court.
824
00:59:35,088 --> 00:59:39,610
Yeah, because perhaps, Lori,
we've been recording this.
825
00:59:42,544 --> 00:59:47,342
And does that include your fraud
bit before my confession...
826
00:59:47,514 --> 00:59:48,757
and your blackmail bit after?
827
00:59:48,930 --> 00:59:51,484
Because you'd need both
for context.
828
00:59:51,657 --> 00:59:54,142
We'll give you 10,000 pounds
in advance.
829
00:59:54,314 --> 00:59:56,454
- Wow. But no.
- Fifteen.
830
00:59:56,662 --> 00:59:58,525
- No.
- Oh, come on mate.
831
00:59:58,698 --> 01:00:00,735
20. 20 grand, okay?
But that's it.
832
01:00:00,907 --> 01:00:01,908
We can't go higher than that.
833
01:00:02,909 --> 01:00:04,497
Do you even have this money?
834
01:00:04,739 --> 01:00:05,843
Yeah.
835
01:00:06,533 --> 01:00:08,156
- Really?
- Yes.
836
01:00:09,295 --> 01:00:10,296
How?
837
01:00:10,710 --> 01:00:11,884
Because...
838
01:00:13,230 --> 01:00:14,127
It doesn't matter.
839
01:00:15,922 --> 01:00:17,130
Two hundred thousand.
840
01:00:18,649 --> 01:00:19,926
- Pounds?
- Quid?
841
01:00:20,099 --> 01:00:21,652
You must be out of
your bloody mind.
842
01:00:21,825 --> 01:00:23,274
We haven't got that
sort of money.
843
01:00:23,447 --> 01:00:24,551
The number's 200.
844
01:00:24,655 --> 01:00:27,175
Look, I love
you Lori, but this is piggish.
845
01:00:27,347 --> 01:00:28,279
Two hundred thousand.
846
01:00:28,452 --> 01:00:31,317
You are being a cunty pig-cunt.
847
01:00:31,489 --> 01:00:32,767
Two hundred thousand.
848
01:00:32,939 --> 01:00:35,632
21,400 pounds, right,
please accept this.
849
01:00:35,804 --> 01:00:37,081
That's all the money we have.
850
01:00:37,185 --> 01:00:41,085
Please, please, Lori, please.
It's really, really important.
851
01:00:44,226 --> 01:00:45,365
Oh my God.
852
01:00:46,815 --> 01:00:48,437
You've sold them already.
853
01:00:50,888 --> 01:00:52,200
- What?
- No.
854
01:00:54,202 --> 01:00:55,272
This is...
855
01:00:56,169 --> 01:00:57,654
This is fabulous.
856
01:00:58,068 --> 01:01:01,623
The answer is no and
definitely not for 21,000 quid.
857
01:01:01,796 --> 01:01:04,039
He's dying, Lori.
858
01:01:04,557 --> 01:01:06,490
It's called Aplastic Anaemia.
859
01:01:07,215 --> 01:01:09,666
Okay, he's been refusing
treatment for years.
860
01:01:10,011 --> 01:01:11,771
Our time is running out.
861
01:01:12,289 --> 01:01:13,704
Everyone's is.
862
01:01:14,947 --> 01:01:18,951
The answer is even more no.
863
01:01:24,508 --> 01:01:26,855
- Did you forget something?
- Can you close the door?
864
01:01:27,028 --> 01:01:29,651
I believe your dignity
is just along there...
865
01:01:29,824 --> 01:01:32,343
and you'll find your
pride upstairs somewhere.
866
01:01:32,654 --> 01:01:33,793
Close the door.
867
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:43,147
I've just googled a rare blood
disease called Aplastic Anaemia.
868
01:01:43,389 --> 01:01:45,356
Ah, yes.
869
01:01:47,289 --> 01:01:51,846
Well, much to the impending
dismay of the Heirs Abhorrent...
870
01:01:52,018 --> 01:01:56,436
a genius in Stuttgart has
reionized y stems cells...
871
01:01:57,023 --> 01:01:59,957
and thus, like everything else
that used to be inside me...
872
01:02:00,889 --> 01:02:02,477
it has amounted to nothing.
873
01:02:03,064 --> 01:02:06,032
The only thing dying,
I'm afraid...
874
01:02:06,653 --> 01:02:09,760
is the dream of Lord
and Lady Vulture.
875
01:02:10,623 --> 01:02:12,176
Well, they've sold them already.
876
01:02:14,489 --> 01:02:16,733
- Sold?
- The Christophers.
877
01:02:17,216 --> 01:02:20,288
They took a down payment of
a million quid last year.
878
01:02:23,394 --> 01:02:27,364
That's why Sallie tried
to do it herself.
879
01:02:28,952 --> 01:02:32,541
Oh, oh, what glorious idiocy.
880
01:02:34,267 --> 01:02:37,754
Well, for what it's
worth of that...
881
01:02:37,926 --> 01:02:41,033
they only have 21,000 quid left.
882
01:02:41,205 --> 01:02:42,931
Well, I'm surprised
they've got anything.
883
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,140
How many paintings?
884
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:47,902
All nine. Even Sallie's.
885
01:02:49,696 --> 01:02:50,836
To a fan?
886
01:02:51,768 --> 01:02:54,736
To a 28-year-old tech bro...
887
01:02:54,909 --> 01:02:56,876
who's going to donate them
for the tax credit.
888
01:02:57,187 --> 01:02:59,016
Oh, to the Royal Academy?
889
01:02:59,396 --> 01:03:00,328
Well, at least?
890
01:03:01,812 --> 01:03:03,262
Maybe?
891
01:03:03,780 --> 01:03:05,782
To a place called
Museum of the Desert...
892
01:03:05,954 --> 01:03:08,612
just outside of Las Vegas.
893
01:03:08,785 --> 01:03:10,614
Oh.
894
01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:14,963
And this tech bro, does
he even know who I am? Or was?
895
01:03:15,136 --> 01:03:17,483
No. But I'm told after
some googling.
896
01:03:17,655 --> 01:03:21,901
Yes. And I assume my children
want you to resume...
897
01:03:22,074 --> 01:03:26,872
your task of faking
these somehow?
898
01:03:27,976 --> 01:03:30,220
Same plan, new old canvases.
899
01:03:36,122 --> 01:03:37,503
I think I should do it.
900
01:03:40,540 --> 01:03:41,921
You paint them?
901
01:03:44,303 --> 01:03:45,304
Yeah.
902
01:03:46,719 --> 01:03:50,309
Paint them, but very,
very badly.
903
01:03:59,594 --> 01:04:01,699
Imagine the look on the
tech bro's face...
904
01:04:01,872 --> 01:04:03,425
when he sees what he's bought.
905
01:04:04,910 --> 01:04:08,016
Oh, it's almost worth
staying alive for.
906
01:04:09,155 --> 01:04:12,331
And I shall be alongside you...
907
01:04:12,503 --> 01:04:15,023
for the entire time
as your assistant.
908
01:04:16,162 --> 01:04:17,957
You're going to be my assistant?
909
01:04:18,130 --> 01:04:19,959
Yes. And I'll be a very
good one too.
910
01:04:20,132 --> 01:04:23,929
And now my first task is to
assist you in getting paints.
911
01:04:24,101 --> 01:04:26,379
- And there's an art shop...
- Yeah?
912
01:04:26,552 --> 01:04:29,382
...on Bronton Street,
which is quite dreadful.
913
01:04:29,555 --> 01:04:30,452
Perfect.
914
01:04:30,556 --> 01:04:31,695
Oh, but, oh, on this
particular occasion...
915
01:04:31,798 --> 01:04:35,009
I shan't be able to help
you in person...
916
01:04:35,181 --> 01:04:36,700
as I'm not allowed in...
917
01:04:37,356 --> 01:04:39,427
due to a thin-skinned
proprietor...
918
01:04:39,599 --> 01:04:43,396
and an overreaction to a
simple statement of fact.
919
01:04:43,776 --> 01:04:46,089
Okay, I'll get this one then.
920
01:04:46,261 --> 01:04:48,677
All right! And while
you are out...
921
01:04:48,850 --> 01:04:50,507
shall I rustle us
up something...
922
01:04:50,783 --> 01:04:52,509
little omelet?
923
01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:56,962
You're going to make
me an omelet?
924
01:04:57,203 --> 01:04:59,378
Yeah. Don't sound so surprised.
925
01:04:59,550 --> 01:05:00,758
All right then, I'll
have a cheese omelet.
926
01:05:00,931 --> 01:05:02,346
Yeah. Cheese omelet.
927
01:05:03,796 --> 01:05:05,246
That's an omelet with cheese.
928
01:05:05,867 --> 01:05:07,524
Yeah.
929
01:05:07,938 --> 01:05:12,011
Actually, how do you introduce
the cheese into the omelet?
930
01:05:13,185 --> 01:05:15,325
I'm just going to pick
something up for us. Yeah?
931
01:05:16,050 --> 01:05:17,983
Excellent team work.
932
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:45,976
- Hello.
- Coming. Coming!
933
01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:54,329
I thought you might enjoy this
as a kind of inspiration piece.
934
01:05:55,330 --> 01:05:58,230
- Is that Sallie's?
- Yes.
935
01:05:58,402 --> 01:06:01,681
I keep it in her old room
to ward off future visits.
936
01:06:01,854 --> 01:06:06,445
It's affixed to the wall along
with garlic and a wooden cross.
937
01:06:06,790 --> 01:06:09,966
What's crazy is she's actually
improved since art school.
938
01:06:11,277 --> 01:06:14,142
Well, that's another first.
939
01:06:14,315 --> 01:06:17,456
An instance of where
a child of mine...
940
01:06:17,628 --> 01:06:20,217
has actually inspired me.
941
01:06:21,908 --> 01:06:25,222
Right. And this shall
be your metric.
942
01:06:25,533 --> 01:06:26,948
Can you top it?
943
01:06:27,121 --> 01:06:29,744
By which of course, I
mean, can you go under it?
944
01:06:29,916 --> 01:06:32,850
This is fun! Assisting.
945
01:06:33,092 --> 01:06:36,613
This is delicious,
Lori. Mm!
946
01:06:40,962 --> 01:06:42,757
Consider me poor but happy.
947
01:06:42,929 --> 01:06:43,792
Okay.
948
01:06:45,001 --> 01:06:46,243
I'm going to start.
949
01:06:50,282 --> 01:06:51,697
This was to be his.
950
01:06:54,182 --> 01:06:57,427
Well, they were all to be
his, as a matter of fact.
951
01:06:58,290 --> 01:07:00,361
His? Christopher's?
952
01:07:01,707 --> 01:07:04,779
Oh, was I blustering fool.
953
01:07:06,332 --> 01:07:08,438
Messages on the
answering machine.
954
01:07:09,059 --> 01:07:11,372
Gifts, gifts, gifts.
955
01:07:12,511 --> 01:07:14,651
"Let me paint you one
more time, Topher...
956
01:07:14,823 --> 01:07:16,791
"and all this should be yours."
957
01:07:16,963 --> 01:07:19,104
Nothing.
958
01:07:22,210 --> 01:07:25,179
Actually, let's start
with a different one.
959
01:07:26,111 --> 01:07:29,079
I made him. I literally
created him.
960
01:07:30,598 --> 01:07:32,703
He was the boy who
did my stretchers.
961
01:07:33,497 --> 01:07:35,258
I gave him his life, his fame.
962
01:07:35,430 --> 01:07:36,983
Everyone knew who
Christopher was.
963
01:07:37,156 --> 01:07:39,503
He was invited everywhere.
And then one day...
964
01:07:46,338 --> 01:07:48,064
He never came back.
965
01:07:50,514 --> 01:07:53,655
I actually did want him to have
them even after all of the mess.
966
01:07:53,828 --> 01:07:57,073
I should have liked to
have lasted in his mind.
967
01:07:57,314 --> 01:07:59,592
You see, that's the thing,
isn't it?
968
01:08:00,973 --> 01:08:03,734
To last in the mind of others.
969
01:08:12,260 --> 01:08:13,606
First instincts, Lori!
970
01:08:15,470 --> 01:08:18,094
I never joined the
Royal Academy, you know.
971
01:08:18,646 --> 01:08:22,374
Oh, the R.A. I refused to
play that game.
972
01:08:22,891 --> 01:08:24,617
The others were rabid about it.
973
01:08:24,790 --> 01:08:26,826
Every last one of them more
competitive than the next.
974
01:08:26,999 --> 01:08:31,659
But not me, Lori. I
was the least competitive
of them all by far.
975
01:08:31,831 --> 01:08:33,247
Why are you staring at me?
976
01:08:33,626 --> 01:08:35,870
I don't think you
want to do this.
977
01:08:38,631 --> 01:08:41,910
I am ordering you,
Lori Butler...
978
01:08:42,083 --> 01:08:44,948
to desecrate that
painting with that brush.
979
01:08:45,121 --> 01:08:48,676
Well, as my assistant, you
don't get to call the shots.
980
01:08:48,848 --> 01:08:52,542
Oh, very well then. I
resign as your assistant!
981
01:08:52,714 --> 01:08:54,923
Okay, okay, okay. You win,
you win, you win.
982
01:08:55,096 --> 01:08:56,994
Look, I will do it. I'll do it.
983
01:08:57,512 --> 01:08:59,204
But let's pick a different one.
984
01:08:59,376 --> 01:09:01,482
That's right, pick a
different one.
985
01:09:44,249 --> 01:09:47,459
It's already dreadful.
986
01:09:48,149 --> 01:09:52,671
Oh, well this is
monumentally hideous...
987
01:09:52,878 --> 01:09:53,844
so...
988
01:09:55,501 --> 01:09:56,433
Glue.
989
01:09:57,710 --> 01:09:58,780
Yes.
990
01:10:04,614 --> 01:10:06,478
This glue and then feathers.
991
01:10:07,996 --> 01:10:12,829
No, no. We'll have the glitter
first, and then feathers.
992
01:10:15,003 --> 01:10:16,350
And that.
993
01:10:17,696 --> 01:10:19,007
Oh take that!
994
01:10:20,181 --> 01:10:22,183
Feathers.
995
01:10:31,848 --> 01:10:36,922
You would think at 85 I would
know you can't throw feathers.
996
01:10:37,647 --> 01:10:39,131
Have you call my children?
997
01:10:39,304 --> 01:10:40,960
Not yet.
998
01:10:41,133 --> 01:10:42,410
Oh, well you must, you must...
999
01:10:42,514 --> 01:10:46,897
because these Christopher Threes
will hang in the pantheon...
1000
01:10:47,070 --> 01:10:50,660
of the worst art of all time...
1001
01:10:51,143 --> 01:10:53,559
along with Dogs Playing Poker...
1002
01:10:53,732 --> 01:10:56,459
Velvet Elvis, and all of Warhol.
1003
01:10:58,150 --> 01:11:01,326
Yes, yes. I'll have
masking tape.
1004
01:11:12,682 --> 01:11:15,271
You see there should be a
through line of awfulness.
1005
01:11:15,443 --> 01:11:17,583
Each one worse than the rest.
1006
01:11:18,274 --> 01:11:19,585
As if the...
1007
01:11:22,485 --> 01:11:26,730
As if the destruct
was the construct.
1008
01:11:55,932 --> 01:11:59,487
I can't, oh, no, no, no.
1009
01:12:05,804 --> 01:12:06,874
Lori...
1010
01:12:08,600 --> 01:12:10,326
Something's happened.
1011
01:12:11,188 --> 01:12:12,742
Are you okay?
1012
01:12:14,502 --> 01:12:17,125
I'm struggling. I'm struggling
to make the strokes run.
1013
01:12:19,818 --> 01:12:24,063
It's physically impossible
to make it bad.
1014
01:12:28,067 --> 01:12:29,034
Look.
1015
01:12:41,218 --> 01:12:42,703
Yeah, you're right.
1016
01:12:44,946 --> 01:12:47,742
It is not uninteresting.
1017
01:12:48,812 --> 01:12:49,779
Wow.
1018
01:12:52,091 --> 01:12:53,610
So what do I do?
1019
01:12:56,475 --> 01:12:59,616
- Maybe keep going.
- Hmm.
1020
01:13:01,894 --> 01:13:03,482
For who though?
1021
01:13:04,241 --> 01:13:07,348
Well, you seem like you
were having a good time.
1022
01:13:07,521 --> 01:13:09,971
So why not just keep
having a good time?
1023
01:13:10,282 --> 01:13:12,042
Because why?
1024
01:13:12,388 --> 01:13:16,771
Because it is fun for you,
isn't it?
1025
01:13:18,566 --> 01:13:21,051
Because I'm fun for you?
1026
01:13:21,224 --> 01:13:22,156
Julian.
1027
01:13:22,259 --> 01:13:24,986
So here I am. Yes, I am
the entertainment again.
1028
01:13:25,159 --> 01:13:27,782
This is what you
wanted all along, isn't it?
1029
01:13:29,681 --> 01:13:31,061
To wind up the old fool...
1030
01:13:31,234 --> 01:13:34,133
and have him clutter about
and bang his cymbals.
1031
01:13:34,479 --> 01:13:36,377
Oh, is it interesting
being Jane Goodall...
1032
01:13:36,550 --> 01:13:40,899
to the old dancing monkey
in his natural habitat?
1033
01:13:41,106 --> 01:13:44,558
And how am I faring as the
anecdote you'll tell all your...
1034
01:13:44,730 --> 01:13:46,870
laughing friends about later.
1035
01:13:48,113 --> 01:13:52,324
This isn't what I meant
when I talked about living...
1036
01:13:52,497 --> 01:13:55,948
in the minds of others.
1037
01:13:57,467 --> 01:13:59,642
Julian, where is
this coming from?
1038
01:13:59,814 --> 01:14:01,057
No. Well, where are
you coming from?
1039
01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:05,820
"Oh, it's not uninteresting."
And how would you know that?
1040
01:14:07,339 --> 01:14:11,930
To judge art, you must
possess the various skills...
1041
01:14:12,102 --> 01:14:13,828
it takes to make said art.
1042
01:14:14,001 --> 01:14:15,865
And do you really think
you possess those skills?
1043
01:14:16,935 --> 01:14:19,834
Well, I don't. And why not?
1044
01:14:21,249 --> 01:14:24,874
Because of three words:
Untitled. Number. Seven.
1045
01:14:25,046 --> 01:14:29,499
I saw it on your website
and I didn't need to see it...
1046
01:14:29,672 --> 01:14:31,018
because I'd already seen it.
1047
01:14:31,121 --> 01:14:34,262
And when I say I'd already seen
it, and I might as well have...
1048
01:14:34,746 --> 01:14:38,681
because it rang
with the familiarity...
1049
01:14:38,853 --> 01:14:43,064
of all those other foul,
existential...
1050
01:14:44,790 --> 01:14:49,692
impressionistic landscapes by
all the other wannabe artists.
1051
01:14:50,382 --> 01:14:51,832
I think...
1052
01:14:53,661 --> 01:14:55,663
I think maybe, Lori...
1053
01:14:56,630 --> 01:14:59,529
it was a healthy thing
that you quit.
1054
01:15:26,487 --> 01:15:28,109
Christopher.
1055
01:16:48,845 --> 01:16:52,193
I will take 21,000.
You can keep the 400...
1056
01:16:52,366 --> 01:16:55,680
but I get 50% of the final sale,
including the down payment.
1057
01:16:57,233 --> 01:16:59,407
- 25%.
- 50.
1058
01:17:00,650 --> 01:17:02,652
- 30?
- 50.
1059
01:17:03,757 --> 01:17:05,241
- 35?
- 50.
1060
01:17:09,797 --> 01:17:11,903
Good. I'll call you with a plan.
1061
01:17:42,588 --> 01:17:43,969
I was right.
1062
01:17:45,212 --> 01:17:49,285
You can't judge art by
looking at it online.
1063
01:17:51,390 --> 01:17:53,047
This is good.
1064
01:17:55,429 --> 01:17:57,638
Untitled Number Seven.
1065
01:17:58,052 --> 01:18:00,399
You know, there's a power
to it that I missed...
1066
01:18:01,573 --> 01:18:03,437
on your website.
1067
01:18:03,920 --> 01:18:05,991
So you came here to
tell me you were right.
1068
01:18:07,752 --> 01:18:11,100
Yes. About many things.
1069
01:18:11,997 --> 01:18:14,966
Including having seen
that before.
1070
01:18:16,243 --> 01:18:21,075
Which explains Lori, why I
thought that I'd seen it before.
1071
01:18:23,043 --> 01:18:27,979
I got a hunch when I looked at
you just as you were leaving...
1072
01:18:28,358 --> 01:18:31,120
and that I'd seen that
specific look before...
1073
01:18:31,292 --> 01:18:33,087
on your specific face.
1074
01:18:33,778 --> 01:18:36,021
And then I remembered you.
1075
01:18:37,678 --> 01:18:39,300
Art Fight.
1076
01:18:39,749 --> 01:18:43,857
So I looked up season three,
episode five...
1077
01:18:44,202 --> 01:18:45,859
and I was right.
1078
01:18:46,342 --> 01:18:47,723
You must have been what?
1079
01:18:48,275 --> 01:18:50,380
- 21?
- I was 19.
1080
01:18:50,553 --> 01:18:53,521
And the truth is, at the time...
1081
01:18:53,694 --> 01:18:57,215
I'd really only glanced
at the painting.
1082
01:18:58,388 --> 01:19:01,426
I was merely thinking up
my next joke...
1083
01:19:02,634 --> 01:19:05,464
while I was telling
the last joke.
1084
01:19:09,675 --> 01:19:13,093
Did I cause you to quit?
1085
01:19:17,269 --> 01:19:18,408
I haven't quit.
1086
01:19:18,754 --> 01:19:20,341
I just quit showing.
1087
01:19:24,690 --> 01:19:27,038
I'm a broken man, Lori.
1088
01:19:33,251 --> 01:19:35,391
I believe I always have been.
1089
01:19:40,051 --> 01:19:43,088
And you know, it wasn't you
that I was mad at earlier.
1090
01:19:43,261 --> 01:19:44,158
Yeah, I know.
1091
01:19:44,434 --> 01:19:45,435
It was...
1092
01:19:47,092 --> 01:19:50,268
What do you mean, "You know"?
1093
01:19:54,203 --> 01:19:55,169
Seriously?
1094
01:19:59,553 --> 01:20:01,520
Who am I kidding?
1095
01:20:03,799 --> 01:20:08,838
Oh the lies that I've been
telling myself my whole life.
1096
01:20:12,877 --> 01:20:15,949
It's exhausting, and...
1097
01:20:19,021 --> 01:20:22,265
I didn't give Christopher
his life.
1098
01:20:22,541 --> 01:20:24,336
I gave him mine.
1099
01:20:25,993 --> 01:20:27,788
I suspect I ruined his.
1100
01:20:27,961 --> 01:20:29,341
I know I ruined his.
1101
01:20:32,413 --> 01:20:34,312
When you think of me,
Lori, I should like that...
1102
01:20:34,484 --> 01:20:38,178
you remember me as the
person you thought I was...
1103
01:20:38,350 --> 01:20:40,180
who did that very
first drawing...
1104
01:20:40,352 --> 01:20:42,907
who gave you the courage
to start.
1105
01:20:44,874 --> 01:20:48,326
Not the man who you
actually know me to be.
1106
01:20:48,705 --> 01:20:50,604
Why are you here, Julian?
1107
01:20:58,336 --> 01:21:00,407
Because I want to have
an exhibition.
1108
01:21:03,513 --> 01:21:08,035
And if I do actually
get a show, and...
1109
01:21:11,038 --> 01:21:13,489
Perhaps it could be called...
1110
01:21:22,705 --> 01:21:24,189
"Julian Sklar..."
1111
01:21:25,466 --> 01:21:29,022
I can't tell whether this
says "revived" or "reviled."
1112
01:21:29,470 --> 01:21:30,471
Exactly.
1113
01:21:32,508 --> 01:21:34,165
Is this a retrospective?
1114
01:21:35,511 --> 01:21:37,099
Oh no, they'd be new.
1115
01:21:38,548 --> 01:21:41,206
And people can judge them
however they judge them.
1116
01:21:43,312 --> 01:21:47,419
And I would be grateful, Lori
if you'd be so kind as to...
1117
01:21:49,111 --> 01:21:52,908
perhaps just be there
while I try.
1118
01:21:57,498 --> 01:21:59,155
Yeah. Yes.
1119
01:22:00,432 --> 01:22:01,986
Yes, of course.
1120
01:22:02,158 --> 01:22:05,403
- Yes.
- The crack of noon?
1121
01:22:06,887 --> 01:22:08,268
Precisely.
1122
01:22:08,820 --> 01:22:12,928
Oh, except, oh, I should, no...
1123
01:22:13,100 --> 01:22:16,690
I've got Esme and she
is pretty insistent that...
1124
01:22:16,862 --> 01:22:18,588
I don't cancel last minute.
1125
01:22:18,761 --> 01:22:22,592
- We could do 2:00 PM?
- What if we did Monday?
1126
01:22:23,041 --> 01:22:24,318
Julian.
1127
01:22:24,491 --> 01:22:27,977
I'd like, I think I should
like actually...
1128
01:22:28,150 --> 01:22:31,153
to just dream about
these actually...
1129
01:22:33,224 --> 01:22:34,570
for a week, tops.
1130
01:22:36,710 --> 01:22:38,367
Yeah, all right. Fine.
1131
01:22:38,539 --> 01:22:41,059
Yes. Yes.
1132
01:22:42,750 --> 01:22:43,717
Okay.
1133
01:22:48,377 --> 01:22:49,343
Thank you.
1134
01:22:50,586 --> 01:22:52,622
Yeah. Yeah.
1135
01:22:57,731 --> 01:22:59,284
This is where you leave.
1136
01:23:00,044 --> 01:23:01,735
Oh yes. Yes, of course.
1137
01:23:03,737 --> 01:23:05,463
Yes, yes. Goodbye.
1138
01:23:24,827 --> 01:23:26,035
Whose is this?
1139
01:23:26,208 --> 01:23:27,726
It's mine, sir.
1140
01:23:27,899 --> 01:23:29,487
It's absolute shit.
1141
01:24:10,183 --> 01:24:11,356
Julian?
1142
01:24:29,685 --> 01:24:30,755
Thank you
very much.
1143
01:24:30,927 --> 01:24:32,308
Thank you very much indeed.
1144
01:24:33,275 --> 01:24:35,449
Welcome back to Art Fight.
1145
01:24:35,622 --> 01:24:38,797
The show where everyone's a
critic, particularly Julian.
1146
01:24:38,970 --> 01:24:40,109
We've got Lori Butler...
1147
01:24:40,213 --> 01:24:45,045
and she studies at Central
Saint Martins, no less.
1148
01:24:45,218 --> 01:24:47,737
Another one. Lots of those.
1149
01:24:47,910 --> 01:24:49,463
And she is showing us today...
1150
01:24:49,636 --> 01:24:52,949
her painting
Untitled Number Seven.
1151
01:24:53,122 --> 01:24:54,641
Julian, what do you think?
1152
01:24:57,885 --> 01:25:00,233
Untitled Number Seven?
1153
01:25:00,681 --> 01:25:02,890
Well, it's a fitting name
given there are...
1154
01:25:03,063 --> 01:25:04,651
no actual words to describe...
1155
01:25:04,823 --> 01:25:07,585
what exactly it is I'm looking
at.
1156
01:25:08,655 --> 01:25:11,175
And oh please.
Oh God, don't tell me.
1157
01:25:11,347 --> 01:25:13,867
I'm going to have to
look at the previous six...
1158
01:25:14,039 --> 01:25:16,525
in order to understand this one.
1159
01:25:18,389 --> 01:25:20,356
It's not a painting, Lori.
1160
01:25:20,632 --> 01:25:23,670
It's a cry for help from
the paint itself.
1161
01:25:23,842 --> 01:25:26,638
"Why am I here?" it screams.
1162
01:25:26,949 --> 01:25:30,366
Perhaps there's a title, Lori,
and perhaps it's simply...
1163
01:25:30,539 --> 01:25:34,405
The Reason My Therapist
Chose Early Retirement...
1164
01:25:35,647 --> 01:25:36,648
Number Seven.
1165
01:26:54,347 --> 01:26:57,350
Hello, I'm calling for
Owen Appleton, please.
1166
01:27:00,145 --> 01:27:01,423
Personal.
1167
01:27:03,804 --> 01:27:04,771
Okay.
1168
01:27:04,874 --> 01:27:07,118
Can you please tell him
that I have something...
1169
01:27:07,291 --> 01:27:08,775
he may be very interested in?
1170
01:27:10,121 --> 01:27:11,398
Thank you.
1171
01:28:01,621 --> 01:28:05,694
Hi, I'm looking for
Mr. Appleton.
1172
01:28:07,592 --> 01:28:09,939
I'm Owen. How can I help you?
1173
01:28:13,046 --> 01:28:14,806
I'm Lori Butler.
1174
01:28:20,191 --> 01:28:20,916
I told you on the telephone...
1175
01:28:21,019 --> 01:28:22,918
I don't want to talk
about any of that.
1176
01:28:24,816 --> 01:28:28,544
I understand that
and I respect that.
1177
01:28:29,096 --> 01:28:31,858
But I wouldn't have come
all the way here if there...
1178
01:28:32,030 --> 01:28:32,824
weren't some things that...
1179
01:28:32,928 --> 01:28:35,240
I think you might want
to hear me out on.
1180
01:28:47,322 --> 01:28:48,461
All right.
1181
01:28:51,326 --> 01:28:52,844
First, I have a question.
1182
01:28:53,811 --> 01:28:55,744
Why did he call you Christopher?
1183
01:29:07,411 --> 01:29:09,205
These are technically ours now.
1184
01:29:09,378 --> 01:29:11,138
Well, they're literally yours.
1185
01:29:12,139 --> 01:29:14,107
Everything in there, all yours.
1186
01:29:17,213 --> 01:29:22,357
Sort of weirdly feels
like a Julian Sklar museum.
1187
01:29:24,048 --> 01:29:25,463
It's actually a good idea.
1188
01:29:30,019 --> 01:29:32,643
This whole floor could
be the gift shop.
1189
01:29:45,552 --> 01:29:48,106
This stays exactly as it is.
1190
01:29:48,969 --> 01:29:52,490
Even this exactly as it
is, you want to keep this?
1191
01:29:52,663 --> 01:29:54,078
Yeah, just keep this here?
1192
01:29:54,250 --> 01:29:57,530
Just maybe that could be
the poster for the museum.
1193
01:29:58,013 --> 01:30:00,153
Blow it up on the
side of the... No?
1194
01:30:12,786 --> 01:30:14,892
It's the bathroom at the back.
1195
01:30:23,487 --> 01:30:25,109
- Holy shit.
- Oh my God.
1196
01:30:26,317 --> 01:30:27,422
Did you do these?
1197
01:30:27,594 --> 01:30:28,871
- Barney.
- Tell me. Tell me now.
1198
01:30:28,975 --> 01:30:31,322
Honestly, Lori, if you did
these, we will fucking fry you.
1199
01:30:31,495 --> 01:30:33,255
Barnaby, does it even matter?
1200
01:30:33,428 --> 01:30:34,429
Of course it matters.
1201
01:30:34,532 --> 01:30:36,776
If she did them, they're
worth fuck all again.
1202
01:30:36,948 --> 01:30:41,712
And if I didn't, what
would they be worth then?
1203
01:30:54,587 --> 01:30:58,280
"Schedule C1, I, Julian
Sklar hereby confirm...
1204
01:30:58,453 --> 01:31:00,903
"that the eight artworks
identified below...
1205
01:31:01,076 --> 01:31:02,180
"herein referred to...
1206
01:31:02,284 --> 01:31:04,907
"as the Christopher Series
Three consisting of acrylic...
1207
01:31:05,080 --> 01:31:08,877
"watercolor, glitter, feathers,
axle grease, masking tape...
1208
01:31:10,326 --> 01:31:15,021
"are all authentic artworks that
I have created and gifted to...
1209
01:31:16,816 --> 01:31:19,922
"recipient, Owen Christopher
Appleton."
1210
01:31:22,373 --> 01:31:25,169
Christopher was his middle name.
Hmm.
1211
01:31:25,756 --> 01:31:28,552
Julian told him that
Owen sounded like...
1212
01:31:28,724 --> 01:31:31,106
the pained bleat
of a mooing cow.
1213
01:31:35,248 --> 01:31:37,008
You forged this, haven't you?
1214
01:31:37,768 --> 01:31:38,976
Why would I do that?
1215
01:31:39,079 --> 01:31:41,357
Well, let's think, you
know, to maybe, I don't know...
1216
01:31:41,530 --> 01:31:43,670
stop us from having them.
1217
01:31:43,843 --> 01:31:45,914
Plus you called me
before dad died...
1218
01:31:46,086 --> 01:31:47,881
and said that you would
forge the eight Christophers...
1219
01:31:48,054 --> 01:31:50,505
as long as we shared 50%
of the profits with you.
1220
01:31:52,748 --> 01:31:55,510
Okay, sorry. Let me
just get this straight.
1221
01:31:55,682 --> 01:32:01,412
You are accusing me of
forging a legal note from him...
1222
01:32:02,137 --> 01:32:06,624
which would give me 50%
of nothing.
1223
01:32:09,006 --> 01:32:11,905
Now why on earth
would I do that?
1224
01:33:38,060 --> 01:33:40,891
- Lori.
- Hi, Sallie. Barney.
1225
01:33:41,546 --> 01:33:44,549
- Fine. You won.
- Congratulations.
1226
01:33:44,791 --> 01:33:47,449
Dad is famous again. Yay.
1227
01:33:47,725 --> 01:33:49,347
But, look, you've
got to tell us.
1228
01:33:50,279 --> 01:33:52,281
Who painted them? Really?
1229
01:33:52,523 --> 01:33:53,973
The truth.
1230
01:33:54,525 --> 01:33:57,148
Really? Does it even matter?
1231
01:34:48,096 --> 01:34:49,062
It's good.
1232
01:34:50,063 --> 01:34:51,893
Really captures his essence.
1233
01:34:53,618 --> 01:34:54,792
- Esme?
- Hmm.
1234
01:34:54,965 --> 01:34:56,345
Hi.
1235
01:34:56,725 --> 01:34:57,830
I tried to get this to
you at the memorial...
1236
01:34:58,002 --> 01:34:59,279
but you left so quickly.
1237
01:35:00,729 --> 01:35:01,834
When I found him,
I also found this.
1238
01:35:02,006 --> 01:35:02,869
It belongs to you.
1239
01:35:02,973 --> 01:35:05,285
- No, no, this isn't mine.
- It is.
1240
01:35:06,183 --> 01:35:09,220
I took it because I didn't
want you know who to see it.
1241
01:35:11,257 --> 01:35:13,708
Okay, thank you.
1242
01:35:14,847 --> 01:35:16,020
Good luck, Lori.
1243
01:35:16,711 --> 01:35:17,884
Thank you.
91887
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof