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* Crazy is when I go
off the rails *
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00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:07,541
* This is what
you've done to me *
3
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:10,511
* Crazy is how your loving
makes me feel *
4
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:14,082
* This is what
I always want to be *
5
00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:16,817
* I like it when a girl
gets crazy in bed *
6
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:20,354
* Don't mess with the bitch
who's crazy in the head *
7
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:22,490
* You do
* You don't *
8
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,358
* Want to be crazy
9
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,626
* And you don't
* You do *
10
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:27,195
* Want to be crazy
11
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:30,731
* To clarify, yes, no
on the crazy *
12
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,202
* We hope this helps.
13
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,404
What?
14
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:40,108
Previously on
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
15
00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:40,841
If I'm crazy,
16
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,176
you made me crazier
17
00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:44,278
because your life
is broken and boring.
18
00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:46,380
I'm sick and tired of you!
I want you out of my life!
19
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:47,615
REBECCA:
I've officially alienated
20
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,150
every person I know.
21
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:51,352
I give up.
22
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,586
I'll come home.
23
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:54,155
Darling, it's time that I take
over the reins of your life.
24
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,556
You're incapable.
25
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:58,726
You made me think
that you loved me.
26
00:00:58,759 --> 00:00:59,460
You gave me hope
27
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,262
when I had none.
28
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,597
And now, that hope is gone.
29
00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:04,598
Is everything okay?
30
00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,600
I need help.
31
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,647
Oh, sorry.
32
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,283
She's okay.
33
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:23,717
She's out of the woods for now.
34
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:24,785
Oh...
Oh, thank God.
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00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:25,886
I knew she'd be fine.
36
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,121
The minute I heard,
37
00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,289
that's what I told myself.
38
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:30,591
All right,
I got to get back in there.
39
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,393
Dr. Akopian is leaving,
40
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,895
and Rebecca needs somebody in
the room with her at all times.
41
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,498
Uh, they assigned a nurse
to be her "sitter" or something,
42
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:38,732
but I got rid of her.
43
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:39,867
And so, now,
44
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:43,804
all I have to do is fend off
a very overeager housekeeper
45
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,739
who just keeps interrupting
for no reason.
46
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,408
VALENCIA: Paula.
Yeah?
47
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,842
You don't have to
do this by yourself.
48
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,778
We can help, we
can take turns.
49
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,413
Yeah, you have
a family at home.
50
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,481
Don't be silly.
Rebecca needs me.
51
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:56,217
And my family will understand.
52
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,152
Actually, there is another way
you guys can help.
53
00:01:58,186 --> 00:02:00,688
So, she knows everyone is
hearing about what happened.
54
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,323
I mean, her phone
is blowing up--
55
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:05,526
lots of concerned people,
really sweet, very annoying.
56
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:08,196
Could you please just let
everyone know that she's okay?
57
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,830
I could do it. I'll get
in touch with everyone.
58
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:10,831
I want to help.
59
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,733
Oh, great.
Hey.
60
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,436
I got here
as fast as I could.
61
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,337
Why?
62
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:17,771
Is Rebecca okay?
63
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,241
For now.
Josh, you need to leave.
64
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,210
I can't have
Rebecca seeing you
65
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:23,377
or hearing you.
66
00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:24,845
I don't want her
to be upset.
67
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,947
In fact, I am worried
68
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,183
that your body spray
is gonna waft into her room
69
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,418
and she's gonna know
that you're here,
70
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:33,454
so leave without wafting.
71
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,224
(Paula sighs)
72
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,426
Dude, you should go.
73
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:40,228
But I want to talk to Rebecca.
74
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,463
I mean, last time I saw her,
we had a really bad fight
75
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,565
and I said I wanted her
to go away, which I did,
76
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:47,167
but not in, like,
a permanent way.
77
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:49,970
Will you at least tell her
I was here?
78
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,940
No...
No.
79
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,843
I'm so sorry, Dr. Akopian.
80
00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:58,879
I failed you.
81
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:02,250
God, I'm such a coward.
82
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,317
You were no such thing.
83
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,552
No such thing.
84
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,854
You were brave.
You asked for help.
85
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,622
Brave. Asked for help.
86
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:10,958
Just agreeing with you.
87
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,463
I'll let you get some rest,
but don't worry,
88
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,965
there are some great
psychiatrists on staff here,
89
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:20,868
and we'll work together
to get you the right help.
90
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,940
Thank you.
91
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,345
Hi.
Hi.
92
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:33,814
Are the girls still here?
93
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,483
Oh, yeah.
No, we're all here.
94
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:38,486
#GirlGroup4Evah.
(laughs)
95
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,554
Are they mad at me?
No.
96
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,790
No one is mad.
(door opens)
97
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,393
Not now, Denise!
98
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,928
Denise, what did I say?
99
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,564
Sweetie, do you need anything?
100
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:55,403
No, um, no, I think
I'm just gonna go to sleep.
101
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:59,273
Oh. Oh, God.
102
00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:01,875
Oh, I'm so embarrassed
that I caused such a scene.
103
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,011
And I didn't,
104
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,414
I didn't even want to die.
105
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,549
I just wanted the pain to stop.
106
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,384
I know.
107
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:13,521
(sniffles)
It's like I was out of stories
108
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,456
to tell myself
that things would be okay.
109
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:18,726
I just feel like I
inconvenienced a lot of people.
110
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,995
No, no, no, no. No, you didn't.
111
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:25,399
And don't you worry about
anyone else right now, okay?
112
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:28,402
(sniffles) Okay.
Okay.
113
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,438
*
114
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,743
(clears throat)
115
00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,414
(typing)
116
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:42,450
(reading):
117
00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:47,888
Hmm.
118
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:50,858
(clears throat)
119
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,003
Hey, boss. So,
the whole office...
(clears throat)
120
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,573
...is going in on
a cupcake basket for Rebecca.
121
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,375
Do you want to kick in
some money or...
122
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:08,609
probably doing your own thing?
123
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,943
Yeah. No,
I'm-I'm doing my own thing.
124
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,545
Okay, so no money
from you, then.
125
00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,914
Because I do need
an extra eight bucks
126
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,416
and I can't find Darryl.
127
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,484
Called and texted him.
128
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:19,353
He's at a yurt with
his boyfriend or something.
129
00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:20,954
Uh, he probably
doesn't have cell service.
130
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:23,591
Are you okay?
131
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,959
This must be tough,
and I know you care about her.
132
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,060
George, we're done here.
133
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,962
For sure. Uh-huh.
134
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:32,800
(sighs)
135
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:36,670
(sighs) All right,
I just have to do this.
136
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:38,639
I'm gonna do it.
137
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,707
(phone beeps)
138
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,410
Hi, everyone,
I'm Valencia Perez,
139
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,477
Rebecca Bunch's friend.
140
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,579
I wanted to just post
a quick update on Rebecca
141
00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:47,815
because I know a lot of people
are worried about her.
142
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:51,785
Rebecca went through a tough
time a few days ago, obviously,
143
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:52,853
but she's stable now
144
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,055
and she appreciates
everyone thinking about her.
145
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,491
If you want to
connect with her,
146
00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,527
you can just write
in the comments below
147
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,462
and I will make sure
she gets the message.
148
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,631
Thanks, all.
(phone beeps)
149
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:05,599
You're posting a video?
150
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:08,636
I thought you were gonna,
like, e-mail people.
151
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:09,570
Seemed impersonal.
152
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,639
I thought a Facebook
video would be better.
153
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,407
I asked Paula,
and she said Rebecca thought
154
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:14,542
it was a great idea.
155
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:15,876
Okay, sounds good.
156
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:19,079
Oh, where should I
put these chips?
157
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:22,182
Um, why is he here?
158
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,619
Well, we were supposed
to go on our third date
159
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:29,056
and I was gonna cancel, but then
he didn't want me to be alone.
160
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,625
(chuckles)
That's sweet, right?
161
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:32,893
Yeah, sure.
162
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:35,629
I didn't know a friend's suicide
attempt was a plus one event,
163
00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:36,797
but cool.
164
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,699
(quietly):
I told you she might be mad.
165
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:39,867
She gets like this.
166
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,702
In third grade,
she cut off my rat-tail
167
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:42,870
'cause I sat in her desk once.
168
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:46,139
Hector, just unpack the
cheese puffs-- also, rat-tail?
169
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,008
So many questions.
170
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,577
Valencia,
let's not be controlling.
171
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:50,811
I don't think there are, like,
172
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,946
rules for this kind
of situation.
173
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,648
(sighs)
You're right.
174
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,484
It's a tough time.
175
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:57,918
We should be gentle
with each other.
176
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,922
Bitch, don't get in my way,
bitch.
(yelps)
177
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,659
Are you sure you don't
need to go be at home?
178
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:07,628
What about your kids?
179
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:10,631
And... the girls-- I mean,
they haven't been to their jobs
180
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:12,733
or anything in days;
I just feel so bad.
181
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,568
It's fine, it is fine.
182
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:15,736
Paula,
183
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:16,870
I'm okay here by myself.
184
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,506
I mean, I got doctors
and nurses,
185
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:19,473
and Denise.
(door opens)
186
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:22,610
Denise, I will strangle you
in your sleep!
187
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,212
(door closes)
188
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,681
Unbelievable.
189
00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:28,816
(sighs)
190
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:32,152
Honey, do not
worry about me.
191
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,154
(sighs)
192
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:37,791
I am where I should be,
which is right by your side.
193
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,226
How's your throat feeling?
194
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:41,094
Still a little scratchy
from the stomach pump
195
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,763
and the barfing.
196
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,733
Ugh, it was like all six months
of my college bulimia
197
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:46,667
happened in one day.
198
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,569
That was sassy.
199
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,705
Sassy-- my girl is still sassy.
200
00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:53,941
Mama, what's gonna happen
when I get out of here?
201
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,643
Tell you what, let's not worry
about that right now.
202
00:07:56,977 --> 00:08:00,213
Because you are doing everything
you're supposed to.
203
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,215
You met with a doctor,
204
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,985
that very nice-looking Dr. Shin,
205
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,020
or, as I like to call him,
Dr. Dan.
206
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:10,691
Or, even better, Dr. Damn...
207
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:11,892
because he is so cute.
208
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,594
Hmm.
209
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,295
You were honest and brave.
210
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,631
And they said that
in a couple of days,
211
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:19,166
you can go home.
212
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,569
But that's what
I'm nervous about.
213
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:24,204
Once I go home...
214
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,673
how will things be different?
215
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:30,678
I will not let you leave here
without a plan.
216
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,680
Okay.
217
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:35,716
*
218
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,887
VALENCIA:
Hey, all.
219
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,789
Thank you so much
for all your comments.
220
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,592
Rebecca feels so encouraged and
she's making a lot of progress.
221
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,226
I've read a lot
of your comments to her
222
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,661
and they really cheer her up.
223
00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:48,729
Now,
224
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:49,897
get your liking fingers ready,
225
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:53,634
because Rebecca
is going home today.
226
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,102
Yeah, she's talking
to the doctor, like, right now.
227
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:58,205
One sec, guys, BRB.
228
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,808
You ruin a shot again
and I will put you in ICU.
229
00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:02,042
HEATHER:
He's just trying to go
230
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,877
to the bathroom, and
it's right behind you.
231
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,913
No, no, it-it's fine.
I can get out of the shot.
232
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,147
I'll just crawl on the floor.
233
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,348
I'm sure they mop it frequently.
234
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,850
Are you done talking?
235
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:10,684
Rebecca's friends are waiting
236
00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:12,219
for their daily dose
of inspiration.
237
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,587
And they're gonna think
something is wrong
238
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,823
or maybe feel upset,
I don't know.
239
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,225
(exhales)
240
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:23,731
Like I was saying, our little
Becky Girl is going home.
241
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:24,998
Yay.
242
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:26,834
You okay?
243
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:29,002
Need me to wipe anything?
244
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:31,705
REBECCA: Uh, no, it was weird
last time when you did that.
245
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,373
Yeah, I shouldn't have
looked you right in the eyes.
246
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,742
Copy that.
247
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,077
Paula?
248
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,912
I know exactly
what's gonna happen today.
249
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,714
Dr. Shin, he's gonna
prescribe me a bunch of meds,
250
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:43,116
like doctors always do,
and they're not gonna work,
251
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,752
and I'm gonna end
up back here.
252
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:45,853
Wait, wait, wait.
253
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,755
Let's give the guy a chance.
254
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:50,758
Remember? Dr. Damn...
is good people.
255
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,760
Dr. Damn-- it's funny
that you call him that.
256
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,762
These are the moments
when I used to laugh.
257
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,830
So, ha, ha, ha, ha.
258
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,866
Hello, Rebecca.
259
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:00,868
How we feeling today?
260
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,202
"We," sorry,
that's lame doctor-talk.
261
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,871
How are you feeling today?
262
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,706
Um, I, um, all right.
263
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:06,874
PAULA:
So,
264
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:07,808
you're springing our girl today.
265
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,943
I can't wait to get her
back home with me.
266
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:10,878
You two live together?
267
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,813
Oh, no, no, no.
No, I live with my husband
268
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,882
and kids, but you know,
my focus is Rebecca
269
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,784
right now,
so I will be
270
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:19,853
driving her and staying with her
and sleeping in her bed.
271
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,922
In her bed?
Yes.
272
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,924
Oh, I'm sorry, have you never
had a best friend before?
273
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,325
Because you should talk
to someone about that.
274
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,894
REBECCA:
O-Okay, so, um,
275
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,729
all right, Doc,
tell me what to do.
276
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,998
Um, first question,
how many meds am I gonna be on?
277
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,966
Uh, can you give me the daytime
version of whatever it is?
278
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,135
Because all of the other meds
I've been prescribed
279
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,237
have made me numb
or drowsy or...
280
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,405
Actually,
your treatment protocol
281
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:41,074
is not centered on medication.
282
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:42,075
Wait, what?
283
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,176
Yeah, how is she supposed
284
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,812
to get better with no medicine?
285
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,414
Oh, there may be some,
but it's not the main focus.
286
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:48,581
Rebecca,
287
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:51,885
in my opinion, you've been
misdiagnosed over the years.
288
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:55,355
It's one of the main reasons
you've been struggling.
289
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:58,759
I think, with the right
diagnosis and treatment,
290
00:10:58,792 --> 00:10:59,693
you can get a lot better.
291
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:02,896
Wait, so you have
a new diagnosis for me?
292
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:04,798
So I'm not
anxious or OCD
293
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,133
or depressed or any
of the vague combo of things
294
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,300
people have told me I am?
295
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,802
Oh-oh, my God. What am I?
296
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:09,737
Great questions,
297
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:11,705
but I don't want
to get ahead of treatment.
298
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,807
Okay? We're gonna talk
about all that
299
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,008
and the steps
towards your recovery
300
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,309
later today
at the clinic.
301
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,078
Wow, this is huge.
302
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,246
I'll see you then, okay?
303
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,413
Okay.
304
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:22,349
Bye.
305
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:25,118
Paula, did you hear
what he said?
306
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:26,820
I have a new diagnosis.
307
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:27,988
A new one.
308
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,189
*
309
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,924
He just opened up
310
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:34,161
a whole new future
of possibilities for me.
311
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,730
A new path for my life.
312
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:43,036
* For almost 30 years,
I've known something was wrong *
313
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,872
* But Mom said weakness
causes bloating *
314
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,940
* So I tried to be strong
315
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:48,275
* Fake it till you make it
316
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:53,013
* That's how I got by
317
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,882
* And when I tried
to find the reason *
318
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,784
* For my sadness and terror
319
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:59,887
* All the solutions
were trial and error *
320
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,922
* Take this pill,
say this chant *
321
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:05,893
* Move here for this guy
322
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:09,830
* But now, there's no need
for regret *
323
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:12,032
* 'Cause I'm about to get
324
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:15,335
* A diagnosis
325
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:18,872
* A diagnosis
326
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:24,878
* Don't tell me,
"No, sister, you don't fit in" *
327
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:29,549
* Doc, prescribe me my tribe,
give me my throng *
328
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,820
* Tell me that
this whole time I've belonged *
329
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,355
* With those other people
who share *
330
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:39,392
* My diagnosis
331
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,495
* What could it be?
What could be right? *
332
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:45,966
* Schizophrenic
or bipolar lite? *
333
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,500
* I've never heard voices
334
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,903
* But maybe
it's time to start... *
335
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,839
VOICES:
You're super cool, Rebecca.
336
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,006
Thanks.
337
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,174
* Obsessives with numbers
338
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,343
* Hoarders with cats
339
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:59,179
* I could really rock
a tinfoil hat *
340
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:02,816
* Perfect they're not,
but at least they know *
341
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:04,952
* Who they are
342
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:05,853
(gasps)
343
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:09,289
* No more bad pills,
fads or tricks *
344
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:13,093
* Who says there
isn't an easy fix *
345
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:16,329
* With a diagnosis
346
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:20,600
* I'm ready to blow this
347
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:24,972
* Joint, and by joint, I mean
my inner sense of confusion *
348
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,074
VOICES:
* You said that confusingly
Shh.
349
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:30,110
* I'm aware mental illness
is stigmatized *
350
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:33,847
* But the stigma is worth it
if I've realized *
351
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,949
* Who I'm meant to be
352
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:40,453
* Armed with my diagnosis
353
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,255
* Oh, the doctors
that I've met *
354
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:46,193
* Who didn't get me
355
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,528
* This one naturopath
356
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:53,233
* Used feathers to pet me
357
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:56,269
* They said anxiety, insomnia
were my affliction *
358
00:13:56,303 --> 00:14:00,040
* The naturopath said
it was sex addiction *
359
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:03,543
* But all those things
I knew I wasn't *
360
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:08,048
* Yes, I like penises,
but who doesn't? *
361
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:12,052
* So put me in a bottle,
slap a label on *
362
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:15,055
* List out the side effects,
then worries begone *
363
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:18,225
* 'Cause finally,
I'll know this *
364
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:22,963
* My diagnosis!
365
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:23,997
(exhales)
Welcome to your therapy,
Rebecca.
366
00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:32,039
Okay. Diagnosis time. Hit me.
367
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:34,107
Okay. Now, it's important
to keep in mind
368
00:14:34,141 --> 00:14:37,010
that nobody's diagnosis
is simple or covers everything.
369
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:38,912
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
It's also important
370
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,981
to not look up
the diagnosis online
371
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,150
before we have a chance
to get into it, okay?
372
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,451
Got it. I will not
look up anything,
373
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,019
if you don't want me to.
I'm a good student.
374
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,188
I will stick
to the required reading, sir.
375
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,959
Rebecca, I am noticing
how energetic you are.
376
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,394
That's not uncommon
after a suicidal event.
377
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,196
Too energetic.
378
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,998
Sorry. Sorry, um, sorry.
379
00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:01,001
I'm-I'm calm now,
this is my calm, low voice.
380
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,669
Okay, so,
381
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,505
based on my conversation
with Dr. Akopian
382
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:08,075
and our meetings
at the hospital,
383
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:11,711
it is my belief that,
while you do have some symptoms
384
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,547
of anxiety, depression, OCD
385
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,116
and possibly PTSD...
386
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,217
Right. But I've heard
all those things before,
387
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,485
and you said
this was a new thing.
388
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:19,419
I'm still talking.
389
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,154
Sorry.
It is my opinion
390
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,490
that you exhibit
many of the characteristics
391
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:26,493
of borderline
personality disorder.
392
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:28,295
Wow.
393
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,998
O-Okay, um...
394
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,633
First question: what is that?
395
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:37,104
Well, a person with BPD
is essentially someone
396
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:40,307
who has difficulty
regulating their emotions.
397
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:44,711
Someone that lacks
the protective emotional skin
398
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,980
to feel comfortable
in the world.
399
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,116
Wow.
400
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,251
Um, just a couple
questions, um...
401
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,120
How did I get BPD?
Is BPD curable?
402
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:55,088
How serious is BPD?
Is BPD easy to fix?
403
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:57,057
Is BPD genetic? Did I get
the BPD from my mother?
404
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,126
I got it from my mother, right?
Again, just, like, rapid fire.
405
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:01,061
Just, like, answer.
Don't think about it.
406
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,729
Okay, I never fall
for "rapid fire."
407
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,032
Rebecca, I know
you have a lot of questions.
408
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:05,999
I understand.
409
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:08,168
And we'll talk about it
a lot more, luckily,
410
00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:11,171
in your group therapy, which is
where we're headed right now.
411
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,206
So you're just gonna pull a Yoda
and not tell me anything
412
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,342
I want to know before
I'm ready to know it, yeah?
413
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:16,509
That's what this is?
414
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,545
Hot-ass doctor,
415
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:19,779
telling me not
to look things up online.
416
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,214
Oh, I'm gonna
look things up online,
417
00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:22,782
hot-ass doctor. All right.
418
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:26,653
"What is borderline
personality disorder?"
419
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,688
(exhales)
420
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,036
Nope.
421
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,137
No. No, no, no.
422
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,405
No. No, no, no. No.
423
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:46,706
So, guys.
424
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:47,807
Guys, guys, guys.
425
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,709
Day five, part two.
426
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:52,179
Rebecca is at
the outpatient center
427
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:53,680
getting wonderful treatment.
428
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,648
And meanwhile,
back at the ranch,
429
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:59,286
we've stocked up on all
of her favorite comfort carbs.
430
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:01,654
My girl loves
her sugar, salt and dough.
431
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,756
Now, all of you supporters
out there,
432
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:06,259
Rebecca's big #Bunchafriends,
433
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,695
I want you to know
that her heart is strong,
434
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,630
her spirit is bright, and she...
435
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:11,731
Did you tell all your bots
436
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:14,067
that we had to take all the
knives out of the house?
437
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:15,602
Also, maybe ask
them if they know
438
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:18,205
how to jailbreak an
avocado, because I do not.
439
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,372
Heather, we're live.
440
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:20,573
Okay.
(door opens)
441
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:21,674
Oh, my God, guys,
she's here.
442
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,810
Guys, guys, guys,
let's see how it went.
443
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:26,413
(door closes)
444
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,481
Okay, let's put that away.
445
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,317
(phone beeps)
446
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:31,684
REBECCA:
So, um,
447
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,654
I got the worst diagnosis
ever, basically, um...
448
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:35,755
Yeah, I really hate it.
449
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,658
It's, uh, called borderline
personality disorder,
450
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,760
and I read two and a
half sentences about it,
451
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,462
and they were the
worst sentences ever,
452
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,264
and I don't want
to know any more.
453
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:47,100
(crying): And it's
all just awful.
454
00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:48,601
(phone beeps)
455
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:49,836
(mouthing)
456
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,771
Oh, my God. Stop.
457
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:56,176
"Wishing you the best
458
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:59,712
"after your suicide attempt.
459
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:03,516
"Yours,
Nathaniel J. Plimpton III,
460
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:04,851
Esquire."
461
00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:09,689
Yeah.
462
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,799
(exhales)
463
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,834
(panting)
464
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:30,743
(groans)
465
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:31,578
What's up, boss?
466
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,246
Uh, nothing.
467
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:37,284
Uh, just had a little weird
déjà vu moment.
468
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,785
So glad you called me in...
469
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:39,819
I did no such thing.
470
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,321
...because we are planning
471
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,323
to visit Rebecca at home
this weekend.
472
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:44,657
I'm kind of nervous,
473
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,459
'cause I'm terrible with death.
474
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,760
When I was a kid, my dog died.
475
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,296
I was the one who found him,
476
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:53,666
all, like,
splayed out,
477
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,868
eyes rolled into the
back of his head,
478
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:57,670
his tongue hanging out.
479
00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:58,771
It's, like,
burned into my brain...
480
00:18:58,805 --> 00:18:59,939
Stop it!
481
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,941
Oh.
482
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,276
I'm sorry.
483
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,944
Don't worry about me.
484
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,246
I'm a cat guy now.
485
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:07,780
I have a cat
named Andromeda...
486
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,316
I got to go.
487
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:10,517
Are... you...
488
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:11,818
Just get out of my office.
489
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,152
Okay, well.
490
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,857
So you didn't go to group
therapy, you just blew it off?
491
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:18,891
No, I didn't go.
492
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,261
I was too upset.
493
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:24,897
I mean, I don't have an illness,
I have a personality disorder.
494
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:28,601
It's not something I have,
it's something I am.
495
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:31,238
This is what I've feared
my whole life. I'm broken.
496
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:34,574
Honey, what did I say to you
over and over in the car?
497
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:35,742
You are not broken.
498
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:36,809
You're wonderful.
499
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:37,810
VALENCIA:
She's right.
500
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,580
You are an inspiration
to hundreds of people.
501
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,815
There is a Facebook group
in Venezuela
502
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,984
that's completely
devoted to you.
503
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,587
It's called El Buncho Valiente.
504
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,689
Oh, my God, seriously, stop.
505
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,592
Okay, listen, Rebecca, if you
hate this diagnosis so much,
506
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,428
then, let's get
a second opinion.
507
00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:57,564
Second opinions
are very common.
508
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:59,299
And, you know,
this new doctor,
509
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:00,833
he just met you.
510
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,702
He doesn't know you yet.
511
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,637
And who says
we just have to sit here
512
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:07,707
and accept his diagnosis
with a capital "D"?
513
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,876
We don't have
to just take his "D."
514
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:10,943
Who says his "D"
is so great?
515
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:12,879
No, you're right.
He should get to know me better
516
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,647
before he shoves
his "D" down my throat.
517
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:15,882
Yeah. What
we should do,
518
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,517
is get another "D."
519
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,652
And then we'll have two Ds.
520
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:21,020
You know, one here,
and one there,
521
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,422
and we'll just...
522
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:24,757
figure out which "D"
you like better.
523
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,426
Okay, let's calm down.
524
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:29,562
Rebecca, we can ask
Dr. Akopian.
525
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:32,565
Oh, my God, Paula,
you're totally right.
526
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:33,800
I mean, she knows me
way better than Dr. Shin,
527
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,869
and she never said anything
about a personality disorder.
528
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,838
I mean, she likes me a lot.
529
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:42,041
I-I thought Dr. Akopian
consulted with Dr. Damn
530
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,810
on your diagnosis?
531
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,945
She may have, but... no.
532
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,415
I-If she knew how much
I hated this diagnosis,
533
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,517
and how upset it was making me,
she'd be pissed.
534
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:52,519
I mean, Dr. Akopian
only wants me to be happy,
535
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,754
and this is not
what happy feels like.
536
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:55,822
All right. Let's go.
537
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:56,856
I'll drive.
538
00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,691
Okay.
539
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:00,827
I do recommend an appointment.
540
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:03,062
Maybe don't crawl
through her doggie door.
541
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:07,434
Hmm. How do I spin this
for the worldwide audience?
542
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:08,601
(door closes)
(phone beeps)
543
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:09,769
Oh...
544
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,804
(piano playing softly)
545
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,541
(knocking on door)
(door opens)
546
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:15,908
Father. Mother.
547
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,544
Nathaniel, martini time
cannot be interrupted.
548
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:18,945
The timing is crucial.
549
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,313
That skin of ice on the top,
550
00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:21,748
it melts in seconds.
Melts. I know, I know.
551
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,516
Oh, it's okay, darling.
He came all this way.
552
00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:24,717
What is it, Nathaniel?
553
00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:26,052
W-Would you like a martini?
554
00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:28,688
No, no. I need answers.
555
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:29,756
I don't like your tone.
556
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,023
Mom.
557
00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:34,060
When I was ten,
did you try to kill yourself?
558
00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:36,363
Not now, Bernice!
559
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:38,931
Did you?
560
00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:48,508
NATHANIEL:
I have this... memory.
561
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,843
I was ten years old,
and I heard something fall over.
562
00:21:50,877 --> 00:21:53,112
And I went to your room,
and I saw you,
563
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:54,781
Mom, passed out
on the floor.
564
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:55,782
And your eyes
565
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,717
were rolling back in your head.
566
00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,118
And I tried to wake you up...
567
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,086
Nathaniel, enough.
568
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,721
And Dad told me
to go to my room, and I did.
569
00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:04,424
And then the next thing I know,
you were gone
570
00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:06,092
for, like, a month.
And everyone said,
571
00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:07,627
"Don't talk about it.
Don't ask questions."
572
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,028
So I didn't.
573
00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:11,564
But now I really need to know
what happened.
574
00:22:11,598 --> 00:22:13,366
You know what happened.
575
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,502
Your mother had the flu
and got dehydrated,
576
00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:16,969
so she went sailing for a month
577
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:18,638
with your Aunt Sissy
in Rhode Island.
578
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:19,772
That's right.
579
00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:22,442
I brought you back that
anchor key chain, remember?
580
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:24,377
It wasn't the flu. Come on.
581
00:22:24,411 --> 00:22:26,379
There were sleeping pills.
There was a bottle
582
00:22:26,413 --> 00:22:29,549
of pills on your nightstand,
and you wouldn't wake up.
583
00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:31,518
We told you what happened.
This conversation is over.
584
00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:32,585
It's not over.
585
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,889
Look, I need
to know the truth.
586
00:22:36,923 --> 00:22:38,558
My friend just tried
to kill herself,
587
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:40,159
and I can't reach out to her
at all,
588
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:42,028
because every time
I think about her,
589
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:44,531
I picture this... lifeless body.
590
00:22:44,564 --> 00:22:46,466
And it makes me think of you
that night.
591
00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:49,536
And I get panicked
and I can't breathe.
592
00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:51,137
And I don't know what that is.
593
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:53,740
And, I'm sorry, also,
who goes sailing for a month
594
00:22:53,773 --> 00:22:55,408
when they have the flu?
That's not a thing.
595
00:22:55,442 --> 00:22:56,743
That's a terrible lie.
596
00:22:56,776 --> 00:22:58,545
Please tell me
the truth.
597
00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:00,480
Nathaniel, stop this now.
598
00:23:00,513 --> 00:23:02,515
This isn't how we raised you.
599
00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:05,552
Mom?
600
00:23:07,754 --> 00:23:09,722
Please.
601
00:23:09,756 --> 00:23:13,526
Oh, Nathaniel,
I hate to see you so upset.
602
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:17,597
But it's-it's just so unpleasant
to dredge up the past.
603
00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:19,198
(clears throat)
Now,
604
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:20,800
why don't you join us
for dinner.
605
00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:22,201
We're having lamb tonight.
606
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:24,170
And-and then you can come out
and see my roses.
607
00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:25,171
They're looking
608
00:23:25,204 --> 00:23:26,172
so healthy...
609
00:23:26,205 --> 00:23:27,607
Will you please just answer me?!
610
00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:32,579
(sighs)
611
00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:35,715
(exhales) I think
I'd better go lie down.
612
00:23:35,748 --> 00:23:37,917
I suddenly have a
terrible headache.
613
00:23:37,950 --> 00:23:40,553
Mom, I'm sorry. I...
614
00:23:43,122 --> 00:23:45,458
You upset her.
615
00:23:45,492 --> 00:23:46,493
Something's happened to you
616
00:23:46,526 --> 00:23:48,728
since you started working
in that new office.
617
00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:50,530
You're getting peppery,
618
00:23:50,563 --> 00:23:52,665
and I don't use
that word lightly.
619
00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:55,902
Now, congratulations,
you've ruined our evening.
620
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:58,037
And we were having lamb.
621
00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:00,072
Get out of my house.
622
00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:04,644
VALENCIA:
So, guys,
623
00:24:04,677 --> 00:24:06,513
I want to send
a special thank you
624
00:24:06,546 --> 00:24:08,648
to Shimmer Glimmer Cosmetics
for sending over
625
00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:11,584
those amazing and gorgeous
lip glosses to Rebecca.
626
00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:15,655
I'm wearing one right now,
and she is going to love them.
627
00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:16,656
There's nothing wrong
with a little pampering
628
00:24:16,689 --> 00:24:18,658
in a tough time--
just plain ol' self-care.
629
00:24:18,691 --> 00:24:20,660
And, remember, if you
don't like the shade,
630
00:24:20,693 --> 00:24:21,828
Shimmer Glimmer will send
you a different one
631
00:24:21,861 --> 00:24:23,029
for free... Wait.
Okay. No, that's enough.
I've had it.
632
00:24:23,062 --> 00:24:25,932
Wait, no! (grunts)
I've had it.
I'm going to murder you.
633
00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:28,034
What is wrong with you?
634
00:24:28,067 --> 00:24:31,037
You're using your friend's
crisis to get swag?
635
00:24:31,070 --> 00:24:32,138
I mean,
636
00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:34,674
not to judge, V, like, at all,
637
00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:37,677
but what you're doing
is pathetic and vain and stupid
638
00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:39,846
and cringey and trendy
and selfish and basic.
639
00:24:39,879 --> 00:24:41,514
(gasps)
Oh, my God.
640
00:24:41,548 --> 00:24:42,682
Wait, hold up.
641
00:24:42,715 --> 00:24:44,116
You think this is about me?
642
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:45,117
Yes.
643
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:46,719
Are you blind?
644
00:24:46,753 --> 00:24:50,590
This has way transcended
any one person.
645
00:24:50,623 --> 00:24:52,992
Rebecca's story and her courage
646
00:24:53,025 --> 00:24:54,994
and my courage
sharing her courage
647
00:24:55,027 --> 00:24:57,196
is inspiring an entire movement.
648
00:24:57,229 --> 00:24:59,198
And that's what
people want to feel--
649
00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:01,601
inspired, not sad.
650
00:25:01,634 --> 00:25:03,202
And that is what I give them--
651
00:25:03,235 --> 00:25:05,137
hope and joy
652
00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:07,574
and, yes, makeup tips
and gorgeous hair.
653
00:25:07,607 --> 00:25:08,708
Oh, my God,
you're so full of it.
654
00:25:08,741 --> 00:25:10,810
You're, like, so full of crap.
655
00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:12,579
No, I'm not.
656
00:25:12,612 --> 00:25:14,581
I'm full of something else.
657
00:25:14,614 --> 00:25:16,616
*
658
00:25:30,262 --> 00:25:33,099
* There's a rumbling within me
659
00:25:33,132 --> 00:25:35,702
* Something
I just can't ignore *
660
00:25:35,735 --> 00:25:38,705
* I thought I could contain it
661
00:25:38,738 --> 00:25:41,741
* I can't hold it in anymore
662
00:25:41,774 --> 00:25:44,611
* It started as just a trickle
663
00:25:44,644 --> 00:25:47,013
* Loose and undefined
664
00:25:47,046 --> 00:25:49,749
* Now it's starting
to solidify *
665
00:25:49,782 --> 00:25:54,286
* Into something
we can all get behind *
666
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,289
* This is my movement
667
00:25:57,323 --> 00:26:00,693
* Can't stop this movement
668
00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:03,362
* It's coming out fast
in a powerful blast *
669
00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:05,197
* From deep inside of me
670
00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:07,934
* Like an explosion
671
00:26:07,967 --> 00:26:10,903
* Of built-up emotion
672
00:26:10,937 --> 00:26:13,039
* Oh, I wanna scream and shout
673
00:26:13,072 --> 00:26:14,273
* I got to let it out
674
00:26:14,306 --> 00:26:18,911
* 'Cause this movement
is bigger than me *
675
00:26:18,945 --> 00:26:22,348
* My movement's
getting stronger *
676
00:26:22,381 --> 00:26:25,384
* There's no containing it
677
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:28,387
* I can't wait any longer
678
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:31,190
* I've really, really got to
679
00:26:31,223 --> 00:26:33,893
* Sh...ine a light
on this issue *
680
00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:34,861
*
681
00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:41,033
* I know what you mean
682
00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:44,871
* I work at a hotline
for suicidal teens *
683
00:26:44,904 --> 00:26:46,806
What's your hashtag?
684
00:26:46,839 --> 00:26:48,307
We don't have one.
It's a call center.
685
00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:50,276
Yeah, that's not a movement.
686
00:26:50,309 --> 00:26:53,245
* Mine is a movement
687
00:26:53,279 --> 00:26:57,249
* A big ol' stinky movement,
oh *
688
00:26:57,283 --> 00:27:00,152
* It's gonna be a beauty,
'cause it's my duty *
689
00:27:00,186 --> 00:27:02,955
* To spread it
all over the world *
690
00:27:02,989 --> 00:27:04,390
* I'm gonna spread it
691
00:27:04,423 --> 00:27:09,962
* All over the world.
692
00:27:09,996 --> 00:27:12,131
It sounds like you're
just talking about poop.
693
00:27:12,164 --> 00:27:13,199
What? No.
694
00:27:13,232 --> 00:27:15,334
I rarely poop.
It's been a month.
695
00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:16,368
*
696
00:27:23,342 --> 00:27:26,112
So, I'm glad
to see you here again.
697
00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:28,314
How has everything been going?
How are you feeling?
698
00:27:28,347 --> 00:27:29,315
Uh, not great.
699
00:27:29,348 --> 00:27:31,250
Still have the same problem.
700
00:27:31,283 --> 00:27:34,821
I'm so happy,
and I feel so good all the time.
701
00:27:34,854 --> 00:27:36,823
And that's
hard, because
702
00:27:36,856 --> 00:27:38,691
I know
not everyone feels that way.
703
00:27:38,725 --> 00:27:41,427
And that makes me sad.
I hear you.
704
00:27:41,460 --> 00:27:42,695
And that's wonderful.
705
00:27:42,729 --> 00:27:45,765
But maybe we could circle back
to what you told me last week.
706
00:27:45,798 --> 00:27:47,700
About your mother shooting
your father in cold blood
707
00:27:47,734 --> 00:27:48,968
in front of you
on your birthday.
708
00:27:49,001 --> 00:27:50,402
Oh, I've moved beyond that.
709
00:27:50,436 --> 00:27:51,237
(chuckles)
710
00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:53,339
Dr. Akopian,
we need to talk to you.
711
00:27:53,372 --> 00:27:56,208
Excuse me. You can't just burst
into my office.
712
00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:57,409
It's okay. It's fine.
713
00:27:57,443 --> 00:27:59,045
Rebecca tried to kill herself.
714
00:27:59,078 --> 00:28:02,014
She needs this more than
I do. Really, I'm good.
715
00:28:02,048 --> 00:28:03,315
Like I said.
PAULA: See?
716
00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:04,884
Kevin is fine with it.
717
00:28:04,917 --> 00:28:05,885
Go get 'em, champ.
718
00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:07,086
Me and all the Bunchafriends,
719
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:08,888
we're cheering you on.
720
00:28:08,921 --> 00:28:10,389
No! Kevin!
721
00:28:12,058 --> 00:28:13,893
(sobbing):
Why, Mommy, why?!
722
00:28:13,926 --> 00:28:15,227
Rebecca,
723
00:28:15,261 --> 00:28:16,362
this is highly inappropriate.
724
00:28:16,395 --> 00:28:19,465
I'm so sorry. I know, I know.
But it's an emergency.
725
00:28:19,498 --> 00:28:21,300
I think I've been
misdiagnosed.
Yeah.
726
00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:23,903
They told her she had
some stupid personality thing.
727
00:28:23,936 --> 00:28:26,205
REBECCA: Okay, and I know that
Dr. Shin consulted with you,
728
00:28:26,238 --> 00:28:28,340
but I think he tricked you
into giving me that diagnosis
729
00:28:28,374 --> 00:28:30,176
by mansplaining
you into it.
730
00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:31,377
Rebecca,
731
00:28:31,410 --> 00:28:33,045
did you talk to Dr. Shin?
732
00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:34,513
Did you go
733
00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:35,581
to your group therapy?
No, I did not.
734
00:28:35,614 --> 00:28:37,984
Because I don't want to
hear any more about it.
735
00:28:38,017 --> 00:28:39,919
I know it's wrong. I know
in my heart it's wrong.
736
00:28:39,952 --> 00:28:41,788
So just give me a new thing,
okay? Give me the thing I know
737
00:28:41,821 --> 00:28:43,790
you want to give me. Right?
'Cause it's a better thing.
738
00:28:45,491 --> 00:28:46,458
One, two, three, go.
739
00:28:46,492 --> 00:28:48,160
JOSH:
So, um,
740
00:28:48,194 --> 00:28:49,328
okay, I'm ready.
741
00:28:49,361 --> 00:28:51,463
Give it to me straight.
742
00:28:51,497 --> 00:28:53,432
What is Rebecca saying about me?
743
00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:54,834
I've been there
basically every day.
744
00:28:54,867 --> 00:28:56,435
Haven't heard your name once.
745
00:28:56,468 --> 00:28:57,403
You don't have to shield me.
746
00:28:57,436 --> 00:28:59,105
I can take it.
747
00:28:59,138 --> 00:29:02,875
I am responsible for someone
almost taking their life.
748
00:29:02,909 --> 00:29:05,377
Look, from what I picked
up in the hospital--
749
00:29:05,411 --> 00:29:07,046
and I'm in the inner circle;
750
00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:08,447
I provide snacks, advice,
751
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,983
and an outlet for
Valencia's aggression--
752
00:29:11,017 --> 00:29:12,985
being suicidal has nothing to do
753
00:29:13,019 --> 00:29:15,054
with any one life
event or person.
754
00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:17,857
It's more of a general
mental illness thing.
755
00:29:17,890 --> 00:29:20,192
Um, yeah. Well, Rebecca
has been obsessed with me
756
00:29:20,226 --> 00:29:22,394
since she was 16.
I ruined her.
757
00:29:22,428 --> 00:29:25,798
Suicide is a cardinal sin,
and I almost sin-assisted.
758
00:29:25,832 --> 00:29:27,133
No, this is on me, man.
759
00:29:27,166 --> 00:29:28,801
I-I've got to do something,
760
00:29:28,835 --> 00:29:30,569
see Rebecca, make things right.
761
00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:31,570
(sighs)
762
00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,172
Or you don't.
763
00:29:33,205 --> 00:29:34,173
Or I do.
764
00:29:34,206 --> 00:29:35,174
Or you really don't.
765
00:29:35,207 --> 00:29:36,042
I do, though.
766
00:29:36,075 --> 00:29:37,409
I don't think you really do.
767
00:29:37,443 --> 00:29:39,879
Except that I do, I think.
768
00:29:39,912 --> 00:29:40,980
I don't think so.
769
00:29:41,013 --> 00:29:42,514
AKOPIAN:
Rebecca, it sounds
770
00:29:42,548 --> 00:29:45,484
like you don't have accurate
information about borderline.
771
00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:48,855
Dr. Shin asked you
not to look it up online,
772
00:29:48,888 --> 00:29:51,390
but I'm suspecting that you did.
So what?
773
00:29:51,423 --> 00:29:53,525
Yeah, I did. So what?
All right.
774
00:29:53,559 --> 00:29:55,427
Why don't we take a sec
and look at the checklist,
775
00:29:55,461 --> 00:29:57,429
see if anything resonates.
776
00:29:57,463 --> 00:29:59,298
What checklist?
To determine
777
00:29:59,331 --> 00:30:01,300
whether or not a person has BPD.
778
00:30:02,601 --> 00:30:06,572
A checklist sounds like
homework. You like homework.
779
00:30:06,605 --> 00:30:08,841
Wait, why don't we just hear it
and then see what we think?
780
00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:11,443
I mean, I am right here.
I am right next to you.
781
00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:13,445
Yes, you are.
782
00:30:13,479 --> 00:30:15,414
Which is a whole nother thing
we should talk about.
783
00:30:15,447 --> 00:30:16,983
I don't... I don't...
All right,
784
00:30:17,016 --> 00:30:19,385
in order to receive a diagnosis
for BPD,
785
00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:21,387
a person has to have
at least five
786
00:30:21,420 --> 00:30:23,389
of the following
nine tendencies.
787
00:30:23,422 --> 00:30:25,157
Just keep an open mind.
788
00:30:25,191 --> 00:30:28,160
Okay? Okay,
the first one is
789
00:30:28,194 --> 00:30:30,629
severe mood swings.
790
00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:32,398
*
791
00:30:32,431 --> 00:30:34,233
(chuckles)
Well, we'll see about that.
792
00:30:34,266 --> 00:30:35,401
(both laugh)
793
00:30:35,434 --> 00:30:37,603
We'll see about that.
794
00:30:39,138 --> 00:30:41,173
Profound fear of abandonment.
795
00:30:41,974 --> 00:30:44,510
Josh. Hey, no, Josh!
796
00:30:45,644 --> 00:30:48,114
Instability in relationships.
797
00:30:48,147 --> 00:30:49,515
It's like you think
I'm your daughter or something,
798
00:30:49,548 --> 00:30:50,917
but I'm not.
799
00:30:52,451 --> 00:30:54,620
Unstable sense of identity.
800
00:30:54,653 --> 00:30:56,956
I don't know who I am if
you're not in my life anymore.
801
00:30:58,590 --> 00:31:02,028
Paranoia
or dissociative episodes.
802
00:31:02,061 --> 00:31:04,030
What? Robert.
803
00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:04,630
No!
804
00:31:06,565 --> 00:31:08,935
Excessive and frequent anger.
805
00:31:08,968 --> 00:31:10,402
Stop running, you coward!
806
00:31:11,938 --> 00:31:14,040
Feelings of emptiness.
807
00:31:14,073 --> 00:31:16,575
My womb is empty, like my life.
808
00:31:18,477 --> 00:31:19,678
Impulsive behavior.
809
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:21,413
(moaning)
810
00:31:24,583 --> 00:31:26,685
And, finally,
811
00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:30,589
recurring suicide threats
or attempts.
812
00:31:32,391 --> 00:31:34,526
Oh, my God.
813
00:31:35,527 --> 00:31:36,628
I know.
814
00:31:36,662 --> 00:31:38,430
So not you, right?
815
00:31:38,464 --> 00:31:39,565
(chuckles)
816
00:31:39,598 --> 00:31:41,934
Paula,
817
00:31:41,968 --> 00:31:43,535
all those things were me.
818
00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:47,139
I don't have five-- I have nine.
819
00:31:47,173 --> 00:31:49,375
(sighs)
820
00:31:55,181 --> 00:31:57,549
(crickets chirping)
821
00:31:59,651 --> 00:32:01,020
Hey. How'd it go?
822
00:32:01,053 --> 00:32:02,654
Did you get a
new diagnosis?
823
00:32:02,688 --> 00:32:04,390
No. Uh, same one.
824
00:32:04,423 --> 00:32:06,692
But it's right.
825
00:32:06,725 --> 00:32:08,660
Yeah, the verdict's in.
826
00:32:08,694 --> 00:32:10,596
I am officially, medically,
827
00:32:10,629 --> 00:32:14,400
certifiably "crazy."
828
00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:16,402
Well, no one said
anything about crazy.
829
00:32:16,435 --> 00:32:18,304
Um, so, look,
830
00:32:18,337 --> 00:32:20,039
I-I appreciate
everyone's support.
831
00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:21,640
And I love you guys.
I really do. But...
832
00:32:21,673 --> 00:32:25,244
I'm very tired, so...
I'm just gonna go to bed.
833
00:32:27,079 --> 00:32:28,680
Alone.
834
00:32:38,090 --> 00:32:40,459
I'm sure she just
needs to rest.
835
00:32:40,492 --> 00:32:42,061
(door lock clicks)
836
00:32:53,639 --> 00:32:56,375
Good morning, Mother.
Nathaniel, you're back.
837
00:32:56,408 --> 00:32:58,544
I waited for Dad
to leave.
838
00:32:58,577 --> 00:33:00,046
Mom, I came back
839
00:33:00,079 --> 00:33:01,213
because I wanted
to apologize
840
00:33:01,247 --> 00:33:02,681
for how I acted
last night.
841
00:33:02,714 --> 00:33:04,316
Oh, no, that's okay.
842
00:33:04,350 --> 00:33:06,218
I know you don't like
to rehash the past,
843
00:33:06,252 --> 00:33:09,155
and I respect that.
844
00:33:09,188 --> 00:33:12,058
I'm not trying to make
you feel bad, really.
845
00:33:12,091 --> 00:33:15,627
I know we don't
say this stuff
846
00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:18,097
in our house, but...
847
00:33:21,367 --> 00:33:24,070
I love you, Mom.
848
00:33:24,103 --> 00:33:27,773
And I want you to know
that if you ever need me,
849
00:33:27,806 --> 00:33:29,341
I'm here.
850
00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:33,412
And you're right--
851
00:33:33,445 --> 00:33:35,647
these roses, they
really are beautiful.
852
00:33:38,517 --> 00:33:41,320
Nathaniel, wait.
853
00:33:43,289 --> 00:33:46,525
When you were ten, I was
going through a hard time.
854
00:33:48,460 --> 00:33:52,164
I made a mistake
with my sleeping pills.
855
00:33:52,198 --> 00:33:54,100
Then I went away
for a while
856
00:33:54,133 --> 00:33:58,137
to a place where I learned
to sleep without pills.
857
00:33:59,705 --> 00:34:03,742
There was some sailing there.
Not much.
858
00:34:05,644 --> 00:34:08,114
Anyway, you're right.
859
00:34:08,147 --> 00:34:09,581
I should have told you.
860
00:34:09,615 --> 00:34:12,384
Wow.
861
00:34:16,722 --> 00:34:18,424
Did we just have
a talk?
862
00:34:18,457 --> 00:34:20,492
I think we did.
863
00:34:20,526 --> 00:34:22,194
(both laughing)
864
00:34:22,228 --> 00:34:25,164
(gasps)
Don't tell your father.
Oh, no, I won't.
865
00:34:25,197 --> 00:34:26,498
Do you want to take
some of these roses
866
00:34:26,532 --> 00:34:28,234
to your friend?
867
00:34:28,267 --> 00:34:29,768
I think she'd like them.
868
00:34:37,343 --> 00:34:38,777
What are you guys doing?
869
00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:41,280
Oh...
(groans)
870
00:34:41,313 --> 00:34:43,182
Um, just having a sleepover.
871
00:34:43,215 --> 00:34:46,685
Yeah, the floor's
so cozy, I slept great.
872
00:34:46,718 --> 00:34:48,687
All right, guys, sorry,
I got to pee, so,
873
00:34:48,720 --> 00:34:51,490
I've just got to...
Oh.
874
00:34:51,523 --> 00:34:54,393
All right, just watch your step.
O-Okay.
875
00:34:56,528 --> 00:34:59,165
I can go to the bathroom
by myself.
876
00:34:59,198 --> 00:35:01,700
Yeah, I mean, sure.
Totally.
877
00:35:01,733 --> 00:35:02,768
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
878
00:35:02,801 --> 00:35:04,503
Yeah.
879
00:35:08,207 --> 00:35:10,276
Okay, we can't do this.
880
00:35:10,309 --> 00:35:11,577
She's gonna sleep,
she's gonna go to the bathroom,
881
00:35:11,610 --> 00:35:13,512
she's gonna cut bagels--
we have to get used to it.
882
00:35:13,545 --> 00:35:15,814
(gasps) Oh, my God,
I just remembered.
883
00:35:15,847 --> 00:35:17,549
I left toenail clippers
in there.
884
00:35:17,583 --> 00:35:19,451
You clip your nails
at my house?
885
00:35:19,485 --> 00:35:21,187
My toenails grow
really fast,
886
00:35:21,220 --> 00:35:22,521
and they're super-thick
so I carry these
887
00:35:22,554 --> 00:35:23,755
heavy-duty
nail clippers on me.
888
00:35:23,789 --> 00:35:25,924
Okay, okay, let's just,
like, calm down.
889
00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:27,526
She's not, like,
gonna kill herself
890
00:35:27,559 --> 00:35:30,429
with your nasty,
oversized clippers.
All right.
891
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:31,663
(sighs)
Let's calm down.
892
00:35:31,697 --> 00:35:33,432
And I'm just,
I'm knocking on the door
893
00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:36,502
and see if she's okay,
that's all.
894
00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:39,638
Rebecca?
895
00:35:43,609 --> 00:35:45,244
Becca?
896
00:35:45,277 --> 00:35:47,646
(jiggling locked doorknob,
knocking)
897
00:35:47,679 --> 00:35:49,448
Becky?
898
00:35:49,481 --> 00:35:53,585
Okay, she's not answering.
899
00:35:53,619 --> 00:35:56,622
(knocking on door)
(over earbuds):
* Yes, no on the crazy
900
00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:59,458
* We hope this helps.
901
00:35:59,491 --> 00:36:01,460
What?
902
00:36:01,493 --> 00:36:03,529
She never locks
the bathroom door.
903
00:36:03,562 --> 00:36:05,197
Heather's right.
Let's not panic.
904
00:36:05,231 --> 00:36:06,632
Okay, all right.
(gasps)
905
00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:08,300
What are you doing?
906
00:36:08,334 --> 00:36:10,536
This is my intruder ax.
I can't just stand out here.
907
00:36:10,569 --> 00:36:12,338
I thought you put all
the sharp things away.
908
00:36:12,371 --> 00:36:13,772
I live in a famous
murder house.
909
00:36:13,805 --> 00:36:15,341
You think I don't
have an ax?
910
00:36:15,374 --> 00:36:16,542
Do it!
Do it!
911
00:36:16,575 --> 00:36:18,577
Just chop it down.
Just chop it...
912
00:36:18,610 --> 00:36:21,380
(screaming)
913
00:36:22,681 --> 00:36:24,516
Hey, girl.
914
00:36:24,550 --> 00:36:26,352
How was your pee?
915
00:36:31,790 --> 00:36:34,393
What is going on?
916
00:36:34,426 --> 00:36:37,263
Okay, so we may have
been a touch worried.
917
00:36:37,296 --> 00:36:39,565
You didn't answer the
door when we knocked.
918
00:36:39,598 --> 00:36:40,866
I had earbuds in.
919
00:36:40,899 --> 00:36:43,335
Oh, earbuds.
Earbuds, right.
920
00:36:43,369 --> 00:36:46,305
In your ears,
so you couldn't...
921
00:36:46,338 --> 00:36:47,306
Makes total sense.
922
00:36:47,339 --> 00:36:49,308
I'm sorry to worry you guys.
Look, I was in there
923
00:36:49,341 --> 00:36:50,809
doing this thing
that I sometimes do
924
00:36:50,842 --> 00:36:52,511
to make sense of things,
I was...
925
00:36:52,544 --> 00:36:55,781
listening to music and watching
music videos and, yeah.
926
00:36:55,814 --> 00:36:58,384
Oh, yeah, cool, because
we just thought
927
00:36:58,417 --> 00:37:01,953
you were
killing yourself.
(sobbing)
928
00:37:01,987 --> 00:37:05,857
We thought you were dead.
929
00:37:05,891 --> 00:37:08,360
We thought we were gonna
open the door,
930
00:37:08,394 --> 00:37:09,595
and you'd be
all kinds of dead.
931
00:37:09,628 --> 00:37:12,331
I'm so afraid you're
gonna die, Rebecca.
932
00:37:12,364 --> 00:37:14,800
I'm so scared.
(sniffs)
933
00:37:14,833 --> 00:37:18,270
I have never had
a friend like you before.
934
00:37:18,304 --> 00:37:22,040
I... almost lost you.
935
00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:25,677
And I have been telling all
these people... to have hope,
936
00:37:25,711 --> 00:37:28,714
when, really, I am so sad
and so scared,
937
00:37:28,747 --> 00:37:32,284
and I have to poop so, so bad.
938
00:37:32,318 --> 00:37:34,420
Oh, honey.
Oh.
939
00:37:34,453 --> 00:37:37,323
(Valencia sobs)
940
00:37:37,356 --> 00:37:40,426
Rebecca, please.
941
00:37:40,459 --> 00:37:43,829
Promise me you'll
never do it again.
942
00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:46,565
I... I would lo-- I would love
to promise you that.
943
00:37:48,534 --> 00:37:51,303
I'd love to promise
you all that.
944
00:37:51,337 --> 00:37:52,671
But I can't.
945
00:37:55,073 --> 00:37:58,009
Look...
946
00:37:58,043 --> 00:37:59,445
The way I felt on that plane,
I don't,
947
00:37:59,478 --> 00:38:02,348
I don't ever want to feel
like that again.
948
00:38:02,381 --> 00:38:06,652
And now that I know...
what I have,
949
00:38:06,685 --> 00:38:09,621
I hope I can get
the help that I need,
950
00:38:09,655 --> 00:38:11,790
but... the truth is,
951
00:38:11,823 --> 00:38:13,959
I don't know
what the future holds.
952
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,864
So I just can't promise anything
to anyone, even myself.
953
00:38:20,399 --> 00:38:23,835
You know,
for someone who's "crazy,"
954
00:38:23,869 --> 00:38:26,638
you sound pretty sane.
955
00:38:28,407 --> 00:38:30,776
Thank you, Heather.
956
00:38:33,479 --> 00:38:35,781
And I'm so sorry
that I put you through this.
957
00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:37,349
Really.
958
00:38:37,383 --> 00:38:38,884
Where is she?
(gasps)
959
00:38:38,917 --> 00:38:41,353
Where's my girl? Oh, I
came as soon as I heard.
960
00:38:41,387 --> 00:38:44,490
She's fine,
but what happened to you?
961
00:38:44,523 --> 00:38:47,359
WiJo and I were in a yurt,
totally off the grid,
962
00:38:47,393 --> 00:38:49,094
and for one second,
I got cell service,
963
00:38:49,127 --> 00:38:50,696
and all these messages
came through,
964
00:38:50,729 --> 00:38:52,798
and I saw what was happening
with you,
965
00:38:52,831 --> 00:38:55,667
so I borrowed this tank top from
WiJo because it was so hot out,
966
00:38:55,701 --> 00:38:57,135
and then I hopped in my car,
but it wouldn't start
967
00:38:57,168 --> 00:38:58,870
because the battery died,
968
00:38:58,904 --> 00:38:59,971
so I found a guy in one
of the other yurts,
969
00:39:00,005 --> 00:39:03,041
and I borrowed his car,
but it was a convertible.
970
00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:05,944
And there was so much traffic
coming from the desert.
971
00:39:05,977 --> 00:39:08,747
So I just drove three hours
in the sun.
972
00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:10,649
And I didn't stop for sunscreen.
973
00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:13,452
I had a hat but it fell off
after five minutes.
974
00:39:13,485 --> 00:39:16,087
I knew I was burning,
but I had to come see my girl.
975
00:39:16,121 --> 00:39:17,989
Who needs skin?
Oh.
976
00:39:18,023 --> 00:39:20,759
Oh. No, no, no.
I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
977
00:39:20,792 --> 00:39:23,161
You've been through so much.
No, Darryl,
978
00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:24,830
I want to apologize...
979
00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:26,432
for all the horrible things
I said to you
980
00:39:26,465 --> 00:39:27,332
before I left for New York.
981
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:30,436
It w-- they were,
they were all terrible.
982
00:39:30,469 --> 00:39:31,603
I want to apologize
to all of you guys.
983
00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:33,505
You know I didn't mean
any of that stuff.
984
00:39:33,539 --> 00:39:36,475
I know that.
We know that.
985
00:39:36,508 --> 00:39:38,143
Of course we do.
Absolutely. No question.
986
00:39:38,176 --> 00:39:40,479
(overlapping chatter)
987
00:39:40,512 --> 00:39:43,582
DARRYL:
I swear to God, when I get my
hands on that Josh Chan...
988
00:39:43,615 --> 00:39:45,417
When I get my hands
on that jerk,
989
00:39:45,451 --> 00:39:46,785
I'm gonna give him
a piece of my mind.
990
00:39:46,818 --> 00:39:48,119
Because you know what?
991
00:39:48,153 --> 00:39:50,522
I could murder
Josh right now.
992
00:39:50,556 --> 00:39:51,623
I do have an ax.
993
00:39:51,657 --> 00:39:53,992
Good. This is all his fault.
994
00:39:54,025 --> 00:39:55,461
REBECCA:
Darryl, calm down.
995
00:39:55,494 --> 00:39:56,962
This is not Josh's fault.
996
00:39:58,229 --> 00:40:02,468
I mean, it feels weird
to even say Josh's name.
997
00:40:02,501 --> 00:40:05,837
I-I haven't thought
about him in days.
998
00:40:05,871 --> 00:40:08,674
Truly. I mean,
it-it's almost like...
999
00:40:08,707 --> 00:40:11,176
Josh is irrelevant.
1000
00:40:11,209 --> 00:40:14,813
It's not even about Josh.
1001
00:40:14,846 --> 00:40:17,415
Maybe it never was.
1002
00:40:19,718 --> 00:40:22,120
Oh, Darryl, honey,
let's-let's get you in...
1003
00:40:22,153 --> 00:40:24,122
I don't know, some sort
of ice bath.
1004
00:40:24,155 --> 00:40:25,557
DARRYL:
What does it mean
when it blisters?
1005
00:40:25,591 --> 00:40:26,892
REBECCA:
Oh. Okay.
1006
00:40:26,925 --> 00:40:28,660
No one touch him.
No one touch him.
1007
00:40:30,496 --> 00:40:31,997
So I'm here.
1008
00:40:32,030 --> 00:40:34,566
And I'm ready to face it all.
1009
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,635
And I'm ready to start
group therapy, too.
1010
00:40:36,668 --> 00:40:38,069
I think you'll like it.
1011
00:40:38,103 --> 00:40:40,606
Everyone is really nice
and supportive.
1012
00:40:40,639 --> 00:40:42,140
But, like, nuts, right?
1013
00:40:42,173 --> 00:40:44,510
(laughs)
Let's go.
1014
00:40:44,543 --> 00:40:45,944
But you didn't answer me.
1015
00:40:45,977 --> 00:40:47,846
Are they,
are they all terrible?
1016
00:40:51,617 --> 00:40:53,552
(sighs)
1017
00:40:55,987 --> 00:40:57,489
You were not supposed to see me.
1018
00:40:57,523 --> 00:40:59,658
I didn't know
you delivered stuff.
1019
00:40:59,691 --> 00:41:01,026
This your side hustle?
1020
00:41:01,059 --> 00:41:02,594
(chuckles)
1021
00:41:02,628 --> 00:41:03,662
Oh.
1022
00:41:03,695 --> 00:41:06,932
Oh, these are beautiful.
1023
00:41:12,671 --> 00:41:13,972
Wow, this is really sweet.
1024
00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:15,507
Well, I mean it.
1025
00:41:15,541 --> 00:41:16,908
I do.
1026
00:41:18,209 --> 00:41:19,745
I'm here for you.
1027
00:41:19,778 --> 00:41:20,912
Thank you.
1028
00:41:20,946 --> 00:41:23,582
That really means a lot.
1029
00:41:24,883 --> 00:41:26,518
I got a-- I should get inside.
1030
00:41:26,552 --> 00:41:27,986
I got a workbook
in therapy today,
1031
00:41:28,019 --> 00:41:29,655
and I love workbooks, so...
1032
00:41:29,688 --> 00:41:30,789
You like to work?
1033
00:41:30,822 --> 00:41:32,257
That's the first
I've heard of it.
1034
00:41:32,290 --> 00:41:34,492
(laughs)
1035
00:41:35,927 --> 00:41:37,663
Oh, wait. Um,
1036
00:41:37,696 --> 00:41:38,697
ju-- um,
brought this.
1037
00:41:38,730 --> 00:41:40,799
Oh, my God,
1038
00:41:40,832 --> 00:41:42,968
I was wondering where
Ruth Gator Ginsburg went.
1039
00:41:43,001 --> 00:41:44,536
Thank you.
1040
00:41:44,570 --> 00:41:46,638
I'm, uh...
1041
00:41:46,672 --> 00:41:48,607
I'm glad you're home.
1042
00:41:53,144 --> 00:41:54,379
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
1043
00:41:54,412 --> 00:41:56,782
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
73730
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