All language subtitles for Crazy.Ex-Girlfriend.S03E04.Joshs.Ex-Girlfriend.is.Crazy.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.Rus.Eng_TeamHD_track6_[eng]

Previously on
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...

I need to confront my
ex-fiancé, who jilted me

at the altar seconds before
our wedding two weeks ago.

I want everyone to hear

all of the terrible
things he did to me

and all the terrible
things he made me do.

She admitted she moved here
just to stalk me.

I'm telling you,
Rebecca's crazy.

The only person who sounds
crazy right now is you.

BRAH: Hey, Paula.
It's me, Father Brah.

We have an emergency.
It's about Rebecca.

Instead of prison,
she was sentenced

to a psychiatric hospital.

PAULA:
Oh, my God.

It's like
we never really knew her.

Yeah, you're screwed.

I feel things for you.

I got to get the hell
out of town.

NATHANIEL: I'll take you
wherever you want to go.

Thank you for saving me.

HEATHER:
Rebecca, wait.

Paula called. You cannot leave.

Uh, just, uh, run!
Just go around her.

It's fine. Just go around her.
What? Okay.

Giddyup! Giddyup, horsey!
No, I'm serious. Stop.

All right,
she's in my way now.
You cannot go.

Rebecca, wait.
We need to talk about this.

We know everything
that happened.

About Robert, your arrest,
your stay in the hospital.

Hos... * La, la, la

Hospi...
* La, la, la, la, la

Just... Nathaniel, it's fine.
Just ignore them.

Just-just-just barrel
on through.

Let's go to Roma. Come on.
PAULA:
Look.

Obviously, there's something
going on between you two.

I mean, you're doing an Officer
and a Gentleman type of thing.

But now is not the time.
Okay, it's fine.

Nathaniel, buddy,
trust me.

This is a lot more
complicated than it seems.

Okay, Rebecca,
I don't know what's going on.
No. Okay.

It's... What-what
happened is they're...

they're-they're
being histrionic

because they found out
something about my past,

because, you know, you don't
tell everyone everything

about your past all the
time, and now they...

they all just, like, hate me,
and they're here to yell at me.

No, no, no. Honey, no.
No one is gonna yell at you.

And-and we don't hate you.

I mean, not at all.
We... we love you.

And now...

now that we know everything,
there's-there's no need to hide.

I mean,
we all came because

we want to make sure
that you're okay.

And...

Father Brah recommended
a doctor, a good one,

and I want to
take you there.

What do you mean, "a doctor"?

What is it? Is this
some kind of intervention?

What is this?

PAULA:
No, no, it is not.

It is not an intervention.

It's a, it's a convention
of loved ones.

No. No, no, it's not,

because-because I know
that Josh gave you those papers.

Yes, well, he's
worried about you.

He's not worried about me.

No, he's not worried about me.
I saw you.

Paula, I just
saw you with him.

I-I listened to

your messages, and I heard
Father Brah's voice mail.

"Ooh, something's wrong
with Rebecca.

Don't tell Rebecca."
And so I went to the office

and I saw you
conspiring with Josh.

So... (chuckles)

God, what, are you, like,
best friends with Josh now?

No.
Is that it?
He's, like, your bestie now?

He's worried about me?
Is that it?
Honey, no, no, no, no.

No, I see what this is.
You guys aren't here to help me.

You're here to,
like, put me away

and get me out
of your lives.

You want me to just
shut up and calm down,

and that I shouldn't
think about Josh.

Well, you know what,
I'm done.

No, I'm not falling for this
fake intervention-convention.

I know my rights.

You can't put me away
without my consent.

Nathaniel,
pick me back up.

Pick me back up. Come on.

Rebecca, hang on.
Pick me back up.

Rebecca, I don't really know
what's going on right now.

Wow.

You, too, Nathaniel?

Huh.

No, I get it.

You've been, you've been
texting with them

this whole time, haven't you?

You've been texting and
plotting with everyone, right?

You're a traitor,
just like them.

You're all traitors, and
that's what the whole

"Run away with me
to Rome" was, right?
Okay.

Rebecca, Rebecca,
you need to calm down.

Don't tell me to calm down.
VALENCIA:
Rebecca.

We're not trying
to hurt you, okay?

What Paula told us
is upsetting.

It's upsetting. Upsetting.

Hey, Valencia,
you know what's upsetting?

Um, forcing your dream wedding
on someone else

because no one wants
to actually marry you.

Wow.

Whoa, that's mean.

It's okay, Valencia.
She didn't mean it.

She's just projecting her
feelings of insecurity and upset

onto you 'cause
she feels trapped.

Oh, words of wisdom from
the community college student.

How unexpected.

Heather, um,

you're pathetic.

You know that?
Yeah. You're pathetic.

'Cause you were so desperate
to stay in school,

they had to kick you out.

Who does that?

You're just... you're a fraud.

DARRYL:
Excuse me.

Would it be inappropriate if I
went to the bathroom right now?

My stomach really hurts.

Darryl, what is wrong with you?

Were you kicked in the head
by a horse?

Seriously, it is laughable
that you're my boss.

Oh, God, I wish
you hadn't said anything

'cause it's so easy
to take you down.

Honey.

Hmm?
Honey bunny,
Honey Bunches of Oats,

your boyfriend does not want
a baby with you.

Read the tea leaves,
'cause they're not tea leaves.

It's a big neon sign that says,
"No baby."

PAULA:
Okay, honey,

just take a breath.

You're not thinking straight.

(chuckles):
Oh, I'm not thinking straight.

Why? 'Cause I'm crazy?

No.
'Cause I'm crazy, Paula?

(laughs)
You know what?

I'm nothing
compared to you, Paula.

Yeah, you guys know
about your ringleader here?

How out of her mind she is?

Oh, you haven't told them?

Hmm?

Have you told them?
Have you not told them

about the hidden cameras
and the tracking devices,

fake car accident?

Hmm? Yeah?

You know what?

If I'm crazy,
you made me crazier,

because you made me
do terrible things

because your life
is broken and boring.

Oh, come on, Cookie.

And don't call me Cookie!

I hate that name.
I hate it.

It's like you think
I'm your daughter or something,

but I'm not.

Stop treating me

like I'm your daughter.
It is pathetic.

Why don't you go home to
your real family for a change?

So, yeah.

You know.

It's, like, before you tell me
to help myself,

maybe you should, like,
help yourselves.

Bunch out!

Hi, Josh. It's me.

You know, Josh,
you've done some crappy things,

but handing over
damaging personal information

to my friends,
I mean, that's low.

You know what?
You're scum, Josh. You're scum.

Anyway, call me.
It's Rebecca Bunch.

Straight to voice mail again,
of course.

Yeah, hi, you know,
I really need to talk to you.

'Cause here's the thing, you
can't treat people like this.

Do you hear me? You can't
treat people like this.

Have you no decency, sir?

Again, it's Rebecca Bunch.
Call me.

FaceTime. Hi.

Pick up! Pick up for my face!
(line ringing)

Pick up! Pick up!
Pick up for my face!

Look at my face, Josh.
Look at my face!

Look at my face!

Look at my face!
Look at my face!

Wow.

That was awful.

I mean,

I knew she was gonna be upset,
but that was just way worse

than I thought.

I got to go find her.

Wait, Paula.

Look, I've been to a lot
of interventions in my life...

How many times do I

have to tell you
it was not an intervention?

You're right. It wasn't.

It was kind of a giant,
last-minute mess.

No offense. Anyways,

when you do
an intervention,

they always tell you, you don't
chase after the person.

They have to want help.

Look, I don't know why you guys
are so worked up.

You ganged up on her.

Of course she's upset.

She'll come back
when she cools off.

And how do you know that?

Hmm, I know her pretty well.

Okay?

We did it.

Twice.

One night,

but two times that night.

Listen, I'm trying to say

I know her better
than all of you guys, okay?

And yeah, she's zany,

but in a cute way.

Dude, catch up.

You're behind.

Okay, I'm not just
gonna stand here. Okay?

I-I've got to go find her
before she hurts herself.

Or hurts someone else.

I mean, she did try
to burn her ex's house down.

It says so in those papers.

It says what?
DARRYL: Hurt someone?

No!

I mean, come on.

She's just going through
a rough time.

It's still our Rebecca.

She's a sweet person.

She would never, ever
hurt anyone.

(horror music sting plays)

MAN (Danish accent):
Excuse me.

Can I have
my hunting knife back?

Yes. Sorry.

I saw it sticking out
of your bag.

It's so sharp and scary--
I love it.

You know what they say,

no one likes
jagged reindeer meat. (laughing)

(chuckles) Yeah.

Hi.

I am Jarl, from Denmark.

Miss, do you think the famous
people might be staying here?

I want to meet the stars
of Hollywood:

Scarlett Johansson,

Viggo Mortensen,

Erika Christensen.

So you...

you came to a youth hostel
in West Covina

just to meet
Danish-American movie stars?

Ja.

Them and Pauly Shore.

(chuckles)

That guy. (chuckles)

God, you know, I do love
Erika Christensen though.

Right?
Oh, my God, she's so good
in the movie Swimfan.

Ja.
I just recently watched it,
like, eight times.

And I saw the director's cut,
with 20 minutes more swimming.

What?!
It's amazing.

And Erika Christensen
just kicks ass in that movie.

Oh, yes.

"His biggest fan just

became his worst nightmare."
"Just became
his worst nightmare!"

Yes! Yes. Oh, my God.

Erika Christensen is so strong
and brave in that movie. I mean,

I-I know she's technically
the villain and a "murderer."

But, you know what,
she is treated so unfairly.

Yes.
Like, he-he tells her
that he cares about her

and then casts her aside,
like she's garbage.

I mean, I totally get it.

It's how my ex
is treating me right now.

Well, maybe you should
drown him in the deep end.

(laughs): Oh.
Maybe I should, Jarl.

(both laughing)

Maybe I should, Jarl.
(horror music sting plays)

Jarl, Jarl, that's exactly
what I should do!

Oh, my God!
That's what I've been

needing to do this whole time.

Go full Christensen!

God! Oh, my God.

You are so smart, man.

Uh-oh.

Oh, you get me. Yep.

You support me
in a way no one else does.

Oh. Thank you.

This feels fast.
The truth is,

I've been wanting
to go after Josh for weeks now,

but it was my friends--
well, my former friends;

you know, you're my only
real friend, Jarl--

who were holding me back
with their

(mocking voice):
common sense and moral compass.

Ugh. I mean, that's why I'm off
the grid. That's why I'm here,

so they can't find me. I'm not
answering their calls either.

Ha-ha! Now they're out
of the picture,

and Rebecca Bunch is free
to do whatever she wants.

And what I want is for
Josh Chan to feel as hurt

and as powerless
and as vulnerable as I do.

And, Jarl, I will not stop...
(chuckles)

until he gets on his knees,
screams at the sky

and wishes he'd never been born.

You have the anger
of a much taller woman.

Oh, I am angry, Jarl.

I'm seven-feet-tall angry.

(echoing):
And I have every right to be.

(sultry, dramatic music playing)

* Scary, scary, sexy lady

* Angry, scary,
sexy lady *

* Angry like a witch

* But sexy like a sexy witch

* Scary, scary, sexy lady

* Angry, angry, sexy,
scary lady *

* Scorned like a lady

* And angry
like a lady scorned *

* Wearing high heels

* And a short skirt
made of murder *

* A trench coat made of pain

* She's walking
down an alleyway *

* High heels made of daggers

* And eyes
made of daggers, too *

* She's here
to chop your penis off. *

*

(horror music sting plays)

(horror music sting plays)

LOURDES: Someone at
church asked me

about you suddenly coming
back from the seminary,

and I said, "Bridget Washburn,
who are you to judge?

Your daughter is a whore."

Lourdes!

It's not hyperbole.

She's an escort.

No shame in it.

She bought a condo

and paid for Bridget's
gastric bypass.

Hmm.

Josh, honey,

I feel for you.

Coming home
can't be easy.

You have lots of messes
to clean up.

I mean, I guess so.

It's a shame.
I miss Rebecca.

I made a place in my heart
for another daughter.

Did you two
smooth things over?

She was so in love with you.

She must be so
disappointed, right?

(clears throat)
She's a-a bit disappointed.

Um, she left a few--
couple messages.
Oh.

But, um, I think we should, um,

just give each other
a little space right now.

Anyways,

I don't really
want to talk about it.

I just want to move on.

That's very wise.

Mm-hmm.

No, I got to start making
some more mature decisions.

Taking myself
seriously.

This morning,

I called Alex,

asked him for my job back,

he said okay,
and when I get there,

I'm gonna ask
for that raise I deserve.

(scoffs)
Disappear and ask for a raise.

Seems like a good plan.

Thanks, Dad.

I want to focus
on my future right now.

All the good things ahead of me.

(loud thump)

Oh, my God, what was that?

Joseph!

I've been telling you to
get that jacaranda trimmed.

Slapping the window again.

Oh, God,
I-I thought that was...

that was like out of
a scary movie or something.

(chuckles)

(Josh and Lourdes laugh)

(mocking laugh)

That's right.
Laugh it off, Channy Boy.

I'm coming for you.

VALENCIA: You know,
Rebecca better watch out

how she talks to me,
because I don't even care,

I will take out these hoop
earrings and yank a pony.

Oh, come on, you can't take
what she said personally.

She's not in her right mind.

Which is exactly
why I'm here.

She's so lucky she cray.

Oh, come on.
I am so frustrated.

I mean, I tried to track her,
but, you know,

she turned off the location
services on her phone,

and she doesn't have her car
that I put the GPS on,

and the tracker
I put in her shoulder

ran out of batteries months ago.

What?

Oh, it's just a little "boop."

They don't even feel it.
You have one.

But don't worry,

it's dead, too.
Wait, what?

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

I-I'm sorry.

Look, when we became friends,
I-I meant to tell you.

Before you and Josh broke up,
Rebecca and I were on

a full-on sabotage mission.

I tracked you,
I hacked your stuff,

I may have blackmailed

some people in your life
for information,

but I am not proud of it.

Paula!
I know, I know.

But I just wanted Rebecca's
love story to... to work out.

I'm sorry.

Do you forgive me?

God, this sucks.

I mean, I thought you guys
were my friends,

and you were manipulating me
the whole time.

We were manipulating you,
but then we were-n't.

(sighs)

Okay, look, I am just
as surprised as you are

that you and I are friends.

I mean, you are literally
the girl I hated in high school.

But I am
your friend now,

and I love you,

and Rebecca is your friend
and she loves you,

and female friendships
are very strange,

and I just--
stop complaining.

Because we have to
help Rebecca now,

even if you think she deserves
a yank on the pony.

Now let's go.
(sighs)

(groans)

(phone ringing)

(ringing continues)

(ringing continues)

Hello? Who is this?

(heavy breathing)

How did you get this number?

This is a private line.
I got it on my 13th birth...

(dial tone humming)
...day.

(horror music sting plays)

*

(swing creaking)

(swing creaking)

(door closes)

(giggling)

DARRYL (in distance):
Rebecca?

Rebecca!

Rebecca?
Rebecca!

Hey.
Rebecca?

Thanks so much
for coming out, you guys.

Yeah.
'Cause this
has been a hard night.

Yeah, that whole thing totally
sounds like an intervention.

I went to five of those
for my uncle.

Last one was actually
an intervention

because he couldn't stop
watching Intervention on A&E.

I mean, it worked, but then
he moved on to Hoarders.

Now he's got, like,
80 of those on his DVR.

And, you guessed it,
he will not delete them.

They're just piling up.

You know what? Just realized I'm
gonna have to intervene again.

WHITE JOSH:
Wow.

I have crazy relatives,
but all we do

is talk about them when they
leave, like a normal family.

It was a really
tough conversation.

Rebecca was obviously
very upset.

She started saying crazy things.

Like, out of the blue,
she was like,

"Oh, White Josh does not want
to have a baby with you,"

which is crazy because

well, one:
how would she know that?

And two: you said
you would consider it, right?

So she's way off.

You said you would
consider it, right?

Yeah-huh. Yep.

Yeah, uh, I think I see Heather
up there. Might just run up,

see how she's doing.
No, no, no. No, no, no,
Hector, you got to stay.

Ain't no search party
like a Hector search party.

You're great at this.
In high school,

you found that girl
who drank all that sambuca

and passed out in
her neighbor's yard, remember?

Oh, yeah, Susie Reynolds.

You know she's
a state senator now?

No way,
I thought she was an escort.

No, that's Angie Washburn.
Oh, right.

Joshua, if you're not really
considering the baby

and you're just humoring me...

Oh, boy. Darryl...

I'm out.
Heather, wait up.

(quietly):
Yeah...

I can't get over this.

I had no idea
this was in her past.

It's a big blow.

I guess I'm
partly to blame,

'cause I'm the one who told
you to go for it with her.

I got too involved in
your personal life.

I regret it.

Now can we go back
to the restaurant?

Because we are waiting
for a lava cake.

Yeah, they said
it would take 20 minutes,

and we've been here
for 30, so...

NATHANIEL:
You know what? I'm sorry.

I feel terrible.

I interrupted your date,
which you're paying for

with the money I give you
every week!

You're right. Let's stay.

I don't even really
want lava cake.

I do.

I do, too.

(exhales)

Oh, hey.
Hey. Hi.

Glad I saw you.

I had to get away from
White Josh and Darryl. Man...

Ugh. Well, you
can walk with me.

I'm not actually
looking for Rebecca,

because you can't fix people
who don't want to be helped,

but...
Hmm.

...swinging a flashlight
around is fun.

So Velma.

I'm totally a Shaggy.

(laughs): Oh, my God,
you totally are, so...

(coyote howls)

Oh. I'm sorry.

No, I liked it.

Your arms are really smooth.
Do you depilate?

I do not.

Just naturally silky.

Good for surfing.

I do shave the hair
around my nipples.

I mean,
who doesn't?

(coyote howls)

Okay, that actually kind of
freaked me out, so...

hold me, Silky Arms.

(howling continues)

(gasps)

*

*

(panting)

Rebecca!

Rebecca!

I know this is you!
Stop it!

Leave me alone!

I'm not gonna let you get to me,
you hear me?

I'm not afraid of you.

(grunts)

(laughing quietly)

REBECCA:
So I'm totally getting to him,

and he's totally afraid of me--
it's great!

Jarl. Hey, hey, hey.

Wake up, Jarlsberg. I'm trying
to tell you something important.

I am tired.

You woke me up
in the middle of the night.

I have to get up early
to go to the Autry Museum

of the American West.

Ew. What? Don't go there.
It's just a bunch of pictures

of Roy Rogers.

You mean Gene Autry?

Who cares? Anyway, Jarl.

You won't believe
what's happening.

So I have decided to reenact

every great revenge movie
ever made,

and it's... ugh! It is so
good to see Josh squirm.

But what happens after you do
all these scary things to him?

I-I don't know.

I-I feel better, I guess?

No. You die.

(horror music sting plays)
Whoa, what?

That's how every one
of these movies ends.

Stabbing, shooting, drowning.

The monster
has to be killed.

Once you start this,
skagget i postkassen.

Huh?

You have a beard
in your mailbox.

That doesn't clarify anything.

It means you are
about to be caught.

And when you are caught,
you are killed.

(horror music sting plays)

No.

No. That-that's...

No. That's-that's not
how my movie has to end.

No. Uh-uh.
No, no. No.

I am independently financed...
in my own mind.

Jarl, don't you see? This
story is not just about

blind evil revenge,

this is, this is
about retribution.

And redistribution of misery.

Making Josh feel like
I've felt my whole life.

Wait, you were unhappy
before you met him?

Then how is this his fault?

What? He exploited
that unhappiness!

He-he took his normal
and rubbed it in my face.

So what I am hearing is, it's
not really about Josh, per se.

Josh is more a symbol
of effortless normalcy

from which
you always felt excluded.

(horror music sting plays)

No, it's about Josh.

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

You're not
making any sense.

Although your English
is fantastic, so I mean,

bravo, Danish school system.
(scoffs)

*

(groans)
So, we crapped out.

We can't find her.

Now what do we do?

Guys, I'm telling you.

She's either gonna
come back or she's not.

We just have to face that.

I mean, she probably
just took an Uber

to the outlets or something.

That's where I would go
if I turned on all my friends.

I'm a real outlet girl.

I feel so terrible.
I mean, I failed

as a best friend
and matron of honor.

And a parent, I guess.

Wait, do you guys agree
with Rebecca?

Do you think I'm a bad mom?

BOTH (high-pitched):
Uh...

Oh, two-part harmony bad?

Really?
VALENCIA:
Truth?

You're not the most
attentive parent.

Brendan's my weed guy.

He's starting a business?
That's great!

What? Not the right response?

NATHANIEL: Hey,
can you guys keep it down?

(grunts)
Penny and George are asleep.

They're so beat.

Who? What?

Why are you in my house?

Rebecca could come back here.
I have to wait for her.

I called the police,
but apparently

we can't report her missing

for another 36 hours,

because she's just a person
who walked out of her own house.

(blows raspberry)

Anyway, shh.

Right.
Okay.

Well, I guess I'll just
keep trying to call her,

and check the tracker,
in case she slips up.

Speaking of which,
I am gonna go see the doctor,

get this tracker
out of my shoulder.

What?
PAULA:
Suit yourself,

but I just think you should
get a new battery,

'cause if you get
human trafficked,

you'll be glad you have it.

Cool, cool.
That all sounds terrifying.

Anyways, I'm gonna go get
breakfast with Hector

to distract myself from the fact
that Rebecca was right.

I am an aimless cynic
who has no plans for my future.

Um, and I do have to do
something about that

at some point, in my life,
like, for sure.

But right now,
I'm just

gonna go get breakfast burritos

with Hector
and his sweet, sweet ass.

Okay, bye.

Okay.
Bye.

Thank you so much
for giving me my job back.

You know, while I was up
in priest school...

Preschool?
Priest school.

Oh. That makes sense.

So, I've really been
thinking a lot lately,

and... I'm worth
a lot more than...

Bro, I got
to stop you.

First, I think you're
about to ask for a raise

after I graciously gave you
your job back,

so way to go on the cojones.

But, dude, I've
got a problem.

I got an anonymous tip
about you.

Aw. I didn't know
there was a tip jar

for the back office
assistant managers.

People are so thoughtful.

No. Someone called with
some information about you.

You want to explain why I found
all this in your locker?

Alex, come on.
I-I didn't do that.

Dude, I don't steal.

Wait, anonymous information tip?

Bro, I-I know who it is.

I-I know who called you.

Rebecca. S-She's coming after me

really hard right now.

She-she planted
all that stuff in there.

Maybe.

I believe you.

(sighs)
I don't know.

I still have to suspend you.

Wait, what? No...

Yeah. Sorry.

Corporate is uptight.

They don't like stealing.
It's weird.

Sorry, bro.

Pack your flip-flops and go.

(groans)

Oh, this is where
I left my flip-flops.

Well, that's an upside.

REBECCA:
Hi, Josh.

Where's your mom?

You might want to check.

Hope Lourdes is okay.

Lourdes, it's so wonderful

that we get to spend
some time together.

I know! (chuckles)

Shall we?
My pleasure.

I think this will be a day
that you'll never forget.

(chuckles)

(both laugh)

I used to come here every year
with Josh and the girls.

They grew up
and lost interest in carnivals,

but I still love them.

Oh, me, too. I'm never too
old for a good carnival.

(carousel playing
"I Give Good Parent")

You know, Lourdes,

one of the things
I really regret

about everything that's happened

is I'll never get to be
your daughter-in-law.

Oh, I know.

And I did think you would be
a good influence on Joshy.

Oh, I tried, I
really did, but...

sometimes you never know
what people are capable of.

Hmm.
Hey.

You want to ride the Death Drop?

Oh, it's my favorite!

Completely in the dark.

Exactly.

Anything can happen
on that ride.

Mm.
Hmm?

You know what?

Even though most of me
is still worried about Rebecca,

this is fun.

You guys are not too terrible.

I'm glad you're here
with us, Paula.

Yeah. Come on. We're a hell
of a lot better than Rebecca.

And she's a psycho.
I don't know why

it took you guys so long
to figure that out.

Good boobs, though.
Brendan, be respectful.

Sorry. Beautiful breasts.

Oh, my God.

Mom, I'm almost a grown man.

No. No, no, no.
That's not it. I just...

(Lourdes and Rebecca laughing)

That looks like...

Like who?

No, I-I just thought I saw

Rebecca with Josh's mom,
but I couldn't have seen that.

That's not possible.

Wow, I guess I still have
Rebecca on the brain.

TOMMY:
Yeah, you must.

Hey, since you seem kind of
distracted, can I get a tattoo?

Just a small blueprint
of the local prison.

Yeah, okay.

*

Where is she?!

(children's laughter echoing)

Josh.

Dad told me
you brought my mom here.

You seem upset, Josh.

What's wrong?

You kidnapped my mother.

What? I did no such thing.

Relax. We're just having
a little fun.

She doesn't know who you are.

What you're
capable of. I do.

You're completely unhinged.

I've had it with
you, you hear me?

This is enough.
You don't mess with my family.

Oh, but it's okay for you
to mess with my life?

Huh? You have still

not apologized or explained
about what happened between us.

I've called you 37 times,
texted you 84 times,

and nothing. You couldn't even
do me the common courtesy

of getting back to me.

So you kidnap my mother?

Do you understand
how crazy that is?

You're crazy!

Where's my mother,
Rebecca?

Where?!

REBECCA: What are you gonna do,
Josh, huh?

Are you gonna kill me?

You gonna push me into this hole

at this janky-ass
carnival?

Where is my mother?!

Josh, just relax, okay?

I've had it.

I'm sick and tired of you.
I want you out of my life!

Oh, God.

(children's laughter echoing)

(woman screaming)
JARL: You die.

Oh!

Whoa!

(panting)

Damn it, Rebecca!

Lourdes is right there.

She's getting
a caramel apple.

(panting)

I'd never hurt your mother.

God, okay, look.

I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry.

I know I got
carried away,

but I was just trying
to get your attention.

I was just trying
to get you to notice me.

So now that...
now that we're here,

let's just have a conversation.

Okay? Let's
just, let's...

Can we, can we please talk
to each other like humans?

I mean, God, we've been in
each other's lives for so long,

there's so much between us,
you-you can't just throw it away

like it means nothing.

If you ever, ever,

get near me or anyone
I care about ever again,

I'm calling the police.

Josh.

Josh. Hey. No, no.

You can't do this.

Because I-I...
I don't know who I am

if you're not
in my life anymore.

Leave me alone.

*

(knocking on door)

(crying):
Hi. Um, I need you.

I need help. Please.

Oh, honey, it's okay, it's okay.

I need my mom.

Please. Please.

Please.

Rebecca.
What? What's wrong?

We shouldn't keep cake in there.

Oh, my God, I must've fallen
asleep while I was studying.

I just had the most scary,
vivid dream.

It's Rebecca. She's in trouble,
I just know it.

She's about to hit rock bottom.

I can feel it.
I have to do something.

(country music playing
over speakers)

What can I get you?

Um...

Gin and tonic, and,
um, extra strong.

Got it.

You know, I had a friend
who used to come here.

He worked at a...
a different bar,

but he would do
his study drinking here.

(drink pouring)

Whenever I was out of options,
he was always there.

I remember that guy.

The one that was always
talking about Emory.

Yeah. Yeah, that's where he is.
(laughs)

I'm so lost, man.

It's like, I don't...

I don't know what story
I'm in anymore, you know?

(phone ringing, vibrating)

Hmm.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Look, look, look, look.
It's Emory.

It-it's the guy.

He knew that I needed him!
He just, he knew!

On some primal level,
deep down...

Greg, hi, hi.

Greg. Greg.

Greg? Greg, I'm here.

Gregory?

Oh, man. Butt dial?

(sighs)

Greg? Greg? Hey.

Hey, Greg, can you hear me?

I really need you right now.
It's Rebecca.

Greg.

I-I hear you ordering
a cheeseburger, Greg!

Greg, pick up!

Greg?

(crying):
Greg?

(sobs softly)

He doesn't want me.

Nobody wants me.

I've-I've officially alienated
every person I know.

This can't be
the way things end.

All of my time in West Covina,
it can't just end

with me sitting alone
at this crappy bar.

Hey.

I worked my whole life
to own this place.

It's my dream.

Oh, my God.

That's-that's old Greg.
Uh, it's Greg's dad, Marco.

I got, I got...
I got to go say hello to him.

(clears throat)

Hi.

Oh, boy.
No, don't get up.

Okay? I'm leaving soon. I know
you... hate me. Everyone does.

I... I don't know,
I just wanted to say hello.

Hi. I don't know why.

Ah. You been boozing, huh?

No. I'm not really a boozer,

unlike your drunky son
who just butt-dialed me.

So, how, uh...

How is that guy, anyway?

What, you haven't heard?

What? He's drinking again?

He flunked out? He's bald?
He's sad? He's fat?

He's fat and bald and sad?

No, he's sober. And he, uh,

fell madly in love
with a girl in his class.

(giggles)

Um... (clears throat)
What?

Yeah.

What's, um, what's
her first and last name,

and just in case it's common,
what's her middle name?

Oh, no, you don't. No, no, no.

For the first time in his life,
he's really doing great.

He's-he's really content.

He's... happy.

(echoing):
...happy.

Cool.

Cool, that's great.

Okay, so everyone just gets
to be happy, except for me.

Got it.

Come on.
I'm not worried about you.

You know, you're a smart broad,
you got a nice figure.

You'll be fine.

Really?

'Cause sometimes, I...

Sometimes, I really think
I'm not gonna be fine.

You're gonna bounce right back

from whatever it is
you're going through.

Trust me.

Why are you being nice?

I thought you hated me, and...
thought I was, like, crazy.

(chuckles) Aren't we all?

*

(both grunting)

Hello, Naomi?

It's me, Paula. Don't hang up.

Look, I know you don't like me,
and I don't like you very much,

and we're very different people,
but we both love Rebecca.

And, you know, the thing is,

I've-I've kind of been her
surrogate mother for a while,

but you're her actual mother,

and she... needs you.

She needs help.

(macaws chirping)

(grunts)

*

(whispers):
No.

*

* So this is the end
of the movie *

* Whoa, whoa, whoa

* But real life isn't a movie

* No, no, no

* You want things
to be wrapped up neatly *

* The way that stories do

* You're looking for answers

* But answers aren't
looking for you *

* Because life is a gradual
series of revelations *

* That occur
over a period of time *

* It's not some carefully
crafted story *

* It's a mess,
and we're all gonna die *

* If you saw a movie
that was like real life *

* You'd be like "What the hell
was that movie about? *

* It was really
all over the place" *

* Life doesn't make
narrative sense *

* Nuh-uh...

You don't want
to have a baby, do you?

No, I don't think so.

What are we gonna do?

I don't know.

*

* We tell ourselves
that we're in a movie *

* Whoa, whoa, whoa

* Each one of us thinks
we got the starring role *

* Role, role, role

* But the truth is
sometimes you're the lead *

* And sometimes
you're an extra *

* Just walking by
in the background *

* Like me, Josh Groban!

* Because life is a gradual
series of revelations *

* That occur
over a period of time *

* Some things might happen
that seem connected *

* But there's not always
a reason or rhyme *

* People aren't characters,
they're complicated *

* And their choices
don't always make sense *

* That being said,
it's really messed up *

* That you banged
your ex-boyfriend's *

* Dad

* Oh, oh

* Never bang
your ex-boyfriend's *

* Dad.

Hi, Jarl.

You do not look great.

I slept with
my ex-boyfriend's dad.

(gasps)

That's not in any of the movies.

(sighs)
I did it, Jarl.

I have officially
ruined everything.

I've burned my last bridge
with every person I've met

since I moved to West Covina.

(ringtone playing,
phone vibrating)

God, I wonder whose butt
is calling me now.

(ringtone stops)

Hi, Mom.

Yup, I hear you.

No, you're absolutely right.

I give up.

I'll come home.

Captioning sponsored by
CBS.

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org