All language subtitles for Crazy.Ex-Girlfriend.S02E12.Is.Josh.Free.in.Two.Weeks!.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.Rus.Eng_TeamHD_track5_[eng]

Previously on
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...

Does this have something
to do with your dad?

Oh.

You know, my dad is
a real jerk, too.

I have plans, Naomi.

You're her father.
She loves you.

Are we okay? The answer
doesn't have to be yes.

Good, because
the answer is "eh".

Help! We're stuck!

Just calm down.
I just can't
be stuck in here,

and I cannot be stuck
in here with you.

I acted crazy and then
there-there was

that rando kiss between us,

but it's never
gonna happen again.
Whatever you say.

I was wondering
if I could pay you

an exorbitant amount of money
to move your wedding date.

When is it?
What's the date?

It's in two weeks.

(screams)
The wedding is
in two weeks.

Rebecca.
Two-two weeks is insane.

* I'm just a girl in love

* La-la-la, lovey-dove *

* I can't be held responsible
for my actions *

* She's an ingenue *

* I have no underlying issues
to address *

* I'm certifiably cute
and adorably obsessed *

* They say love
makes you crazy *

* Therefore,
you can't call her crazy *

* 'Cause when you
call her crazy *

* You're just calling her
in love. *

Blam!

(exhales)

(doorbell rings)

Oh. Hi, Patrick.

Okay, what do you
think of this one?

Now, don't worry
about the walking,

'cause I can always
shorten the train,

or the length of the aisle.

Um, you know, I think I like the
lacy one from Tuesday better.

Really? The strapless Gone With
The Wind thing? Oh, my God.

I don't know. I wear the same
outfit every single day.

Um, aren't you supposed to go
to a fancy lady store

to buy a wedding dress?
Yeah, that's what

you normally do, but this
isn't a normal situation.

I'm getting married in less
than two weeks, Patrick.

Oh, right, because a spot

opened up at the Malibu place.
Exactly.

And that's the only reason
that you moved up the wedding?

Because from
what you told me,

it seems like you got locked in
an elevator

with your fine boss...

No, no. I never called him fine.

I may have said he's "foine."

In any case,

suddenly, lickety-split,

planning the wedding
of my dreams.

And I actually tried to hire
a wedding planner,

but, you know, you try getting
one of those bitches--

and I do mean bitches--

onboard with an 11-day
planning window.

They're like, "We can't do that.
There's no time for me.

The-the binders."

Well, maybe ask your mom?
I mean,

that seems like
the normal thing to do.

(laughs)

Help you with your wedding?

Did you help me with my wedding?

No, you just sat in my uterus
giving me heartburn

and making me look
like a big fat pig.

Hold for injectables.

But, Mom, your...

Ow! You call that numbing?

Rebecca, I can't come early.

I'm doing a few little things
to my face.

Filling, freezing,
lasering,

and by the end of this day,

I'm gonna look like an empanada.

It's gonna take me at least
a week to recover,

so forget it,
don't be ridiculous.

I'm not being ridiculous,
I'm trying to be normal.

Normal shmormal.
You'll figure it out.

Yeah. She's pretty terrible.

So after that didn't work,
I reached out

to my mother
from another mother...

(doorbell rings)

Paula. Ugh.

Ah, look,
if it isn't the ingenue

beset by tragedy.

Oh. And if it isn't
the plotting understudy,

just waiting in the wings
with a bag of marbles.

Okay, look. We're busy.

We're studying
for finals, so...

Hey, Sunil, stop it.
(groans)

Hi. Cookie, what's up?

Hey. I was just wondering
if you had any time

to help me with
a couple of wedding things.

Yes. Absolutely.
No, no, no, no, no, no.

Did you not just hear me say
we have finals?

Paula. You were
just telling me

how you've stress-chewed
through so many pencils

you're gonna have
to get adult braces again.

You know what?
I'm-I'm sorry I came over.

I didn't mean to worry you.

The wedding planning
is actually almost done.

There's just a couple of
cherry-on-the-sundae,

nutmeg-on-the-latte things
to get done,

but finals are
way more important.

So I will...

nutmeg this
wedding latte myself.

So I'm handling

it all myself.

I mean, unless you want to help.

Oh. I would,

but I'm the delivery guy, so...

Right, right, right.

Of course. I'm so sorry,
I'm so sorry.

This isn't normal.
I shouldn't even be

touching you like that.
Oh, no. That's cool.

You know what?
I will handle this alone.

I mean, plenty of dum-dums

plan perfectly good weddings
all the time.

Hey, bridey.
How's the planning going?

Great, great.
Hey, oh.

Let me show you something;
look at this.

Check this out.

I already got
50 "yes" RSVPs.

Four high-target "maybes",
and even the "nos"

have a little
colon-end-parentheses on them.

Um...

Old school smiley faces.
Yeah.

So this wedding is on.

Isn't that exciting?
Yeah.

Um, your dad didn't RSVP
to your wedding?

Oh, no.

Of course not, no.
He never shows up for anything.

I only invite him
to feel bad about myself.

Yeah. Smart, mm-hmm.
Yeah. So anyway,

people are coming,
the wedding is going on

and I'm just planning
it all myself,

which is, uh,
what I am doing now.
Wait.

You're planning the wedding
yourself, like a DIY wedding?

Do I why wedding?
Because I love Josh.

No, DIY: Do it yourself.

DIY wedding.

That's-- yes, yes.

That is what
our wedding will be.

DIY wedding.

Oh, look at these.

In fact, our wedding
is going to be a lot like

this one...
Dustin and Sasha

from Halifax, Nova Scotia.

Oh.
Our wedding is gonna be

a lot like... uh, almost like...

You know what?
Exactly like their wedding.

DIY makes it so much easier.

It's the opposite.

'Cause all I need to do
is pick up

some twinkle lights,

some burlap sacks,

some mason jars, more mason
jars, lotta mason jars.

Wow, they have mason
jars for everything.

For the candles,
and cocktails,

and succulents
and lightning bugs.

This is great,
'cause all I need to do

is spend a day at a craft
store-- my wedding's done.

Well...
I love DIY

because it's-it's an easier,
yet completely normal

way to do a wedding, right?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Are you sure? 'Cause it
looks like a lot of work.

Okay. So let's look
at their Web site.

Look at that.

They even have a to-do list.

So open source.

Thanks, Dust and Sash.

*

(exhales)

Valencia.

Rebecca.

What are you doing with
all that craft stuff?

Um...

Wedding stuff, huh?

Yeah. I'm-I'm doing
this whole DOA,

DUI, DIY... thing.

Uh, what are you doing here?

Oh, I make my own candles
so rooms smell like me

even when I'm not in them.

It's basically the only
reason I teach yoga any more,

so I get to use my candles.

Hey. Um...

I know you've probably gotten
all my texts, but...

I really miss you.

Don't. I-I can't, please.

*

JOSH:
Dear God,

I know you're busy with
everything from Afghanistan

to the Zika virus,
but if you have time...

we could really use your help
with our fast breaks.

Oh! And, uh, while I have you,

if you could have Macy's restock
the new Jordan 5's, size ten,

that would be awesome.

Amen. Okay, break.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Hustle, hustle.
There we go.

Man. Those kids love you
after just a couple weeks.

You're a natural, Chan.

And I mean that with the kids,

not with basketball, obviously.

What? Okay,
that's absurd.

Clearly, you didn't see me
dunking on Jimmy earlier.

He's 11 and we
lowered the hoop.
Still.

It felt so damn good.

I was like, "I'm five eight!"
(grunts)

(laughs)

Dude. Thanks for
coming in today, man.

Figured you'd be busy with,
like, wedding planning, or...

Oh. Nah, no, no.
It's okay. I mean,

Rebecca's handling most of it.

See, one of the reasons
we decided to shorten

the engagement is that she's
so good at wedding stuff,

and loves it.

Yeah. Josh, just make sure this
wedding is happening with you,

and not to you.

Right?

Like that time you walked
around with curtain bangs

for six months because
Valencia thought she might

want to be a hairstylist.

Dude. Um, I'm involved
with this wedding.

Very involved, okay?

Like, I got a ring,
I proposed,

I asked you to officiate,

and obviously, I came up
with the hashtag, bunchofchans.

I mean, that's a
good-ass hashtag,

so you got me.

You are on it.
(laughs)

Huh.

*

(bell chimes)

(clears throat)

(bell chimes)

(clears throat)
(bell chimes)

I never even wash my hands.

Oh, come on.
That's not even a sexy one.

Wow. That looks disgusting.

So I'm gonna assume
that it's healthy.

It's my restart button.
It cleanses everything out.

I couldn't find any place
in this stupid town

to make it correctly,
so I made it myself.

It's got spinach,

Blech. Eh.
kale,

cauliflower,
Thai mung beans...

(groaning)

Why do you have to cleanse?

I mean, you know, what'd you do?

Gain, like, half a pound?

No. Stop looking
at my wrists.

I just don't feel normal

when I'm packing
some extra ounces.

Anyway, where is Rebecca?
It's almost 11:00 a.m.,

and still no sign
of her yet again.

Uh, well, no. You remember?
She-she called in sick.

She called in, like,
really, totally sick.

Hmm. I don't believe in sick.

Okay.
If it's not cancer,

you come to work.

In fact, most cancers
are a half day.

Wow. Okay. So that drink
really cheers you up.

Rebecca epitomizes the kind
of laissez-faire attitude

that I haven't been unable
to stamp out around here.

For example, what is that?

Hmm? What is this?

This has got dead skin
all over it.

Oh, that's mine.

I have psoriasis.

Come on, people.

We need to tighten the ship.

If my father was to walk in
this second,

he would put everyone
over his knee

and not do anything--
to scare you.

*

We need to focus, okay?

And you need to start acting
like normal people.

(loud swallowing)

There was powder at the bottom.

Oh!

You need to call
your little friend,

and tell her
to come to work now.

(elevator bell dings)

Ugh. Gross.

Paula said you
wanted to see me.

I wanted to see you?

(laughing)

No, I wanted you
to come in to work,

so I could tell you,

you need to come in to work.

I don't want to see you.

Great. I don't want
to see you, either.

I have a super fast
wedding to plan, so...
Yeah.

Funny how that happened.

Elevator, kiss, boom,
rush to the altar.

(laughs)
You think I moved up my entire
wedding just 'cause we kissed?

Don't flatter yourself.
Okay, so we're done here?

We're done. Great.

Well, you're not getting paid
for this week, then!

Coo-Coo-Cool!

Okay. Dustin and Sasha.

Your list's a little longer
than I thought.

But you know what?
It's manageable. It is.

This was
in the tray for you.

And there's ten
more pages printing.

Oh, boy.
Tiny font,

double-sided, no margins.

Who formatted this?
Maya, go away. Go away.

Hi, honey.

Hey.

Whoa.

Okay, so,
check this out!

I got this $200 label
maker today, and...

(gasps)

...look at this!

"Sparkling water
from Joshbecca Mountain."

Okay, so what
we're gonna do

is fill that bottle
with homemade bubbly water

that I'm gonna make
in that soda maker

that I just bought today,
also for $200.

So, uh, this
is our wedding.

What do you think?

I think it's great,
and, uh,

I-I really appreciate
everything you're doing,

but I have wedding ideas,
too, you know.

Oh. Oh, okay.
What are they?

Okay, like, like, like, I want
to wear a forest green tux.

That's my favorite color.

Oh, so, Dustin wore a 1930s
high-waisted vintage tux

that had a tear in it

that he patched over with
a piece of gabardine

from his father's
wedding suit, so...

I'm sorry. I went online today,
and I got you a vintage tux

with a hole in it,
that I'm gonna patch over

with a swatch from your father's
radiology scrubs.

Then what about my idea
for a Sugar Ray cover band?

Splenda Ray?
So funny.

I got your text about that,

but Dus and Sash--
they had a jug band

with a guy playing the spoons,

another guy on
the washboard,

and there's just
a lady who hums.

And so I already went
on Craigslist today

and posted an ad for a hummer.

Um, and I've gotten...
a lot of responses.

Wow. Okay. Uh, so, you don't
like any of my ideas?
No.

No, no, no, that's not
it at all. It's just

that we're doing something
very specific.

Look at these pictures
with me, okay?
(sighs)

And pick out something you like,
and whatever it is, we'll do it.

(sighs)
Well, I... I do like this.

Oh, I hadn't seen those
before. What are those?

Those are origami cranes.

I like those.

I was really into origami
when I was in the fifth grade.

We could make them together.

Origami.

Sounds cool.

Great! Let's look
for a tutorial online.

Okay.

NATHANIEL:
The key to good planning
is good organization.

And the key to good organization
is foresight.

(clears his throat)

Anticipating the needs
of the client so that...

(stomach grumbling)
Aah!

What's wrong? You okay?

You're turning
an odd color.

Oh!
(stomach grumbling)

(stomach continues grumbling)

(stomach grumbling)

That is the sound
of my body defeating fat

is all that is.

Oh.

(passing wind,
stomach grumbling)

Oh.

So, um...

clearly someone has passed gas.

And we don't need
to talk about who did it,

but if somebody wants
to be loyal

and to do the right thing
and take responsibility,

then we can all move on.

MAYA:
I did it!

I farted in this enclosed room.

Mm-hmm.

And she might
do it again, folks,

so we should all...
be prepared... for that.

(Nathaniel sighs)

(stomach grumbling,
Nathaniel groans, passing wind)

Oh!

MAN:
Fold the paper in half
by taking the top corner and

folding it to the bottom corner.

The crease should run from the
left corner tip to the right.

Use your nails
to make a sharp crease.

Fold the triangle in half

by taking the left corner
and folding it to the right.

Take the top flap and open it,

creasing it to the left
and right side

so you can fold the top right
corner to the bottom corner.

(birds singing)

Oh, no!

Oh. I fell asleep.

Yeah, you did.
It's okay.

I was up all night,
and I made 25 cranes.

Three or four of them
might not be usable

due to the blood
from my paper cuts.

Oh, God, Becks,
I'm sorry.
No, no.

No, no, it's fine. It's fine.
We'll finish it together later.

Um, I just...
I got to go do some...

some other things on this list.
It's okay? Yeah?

(yawning)

Yeah.

No, no. Wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

Huh? Yeah.

Yes!

(knocking)
Come in!

Hey!

Hi!
I was

on my way to work, and
I thought I'd stop by

and see how it's all going,

and maybe help you...
choose a dress?

Yeah! It's going great.

You have a lot going on.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, what's this?
This is cute.

Oh, no, no, no,
don't sit in it!

Don't sit in it.
Sorry. Very, very, very bad.

It's not a chair for sitting.
It's just for imagining

what it would be like
if you could sit in it.

Okay.

What are you making?

Cake pops! Yeah, they're
Dasha and Sustin's favorite.

Ach! Sorry.
Their names are not...

It's-it's-it's-it's...

Kasha and Justin.

No, no, it's not.
It's fine.
Okay.

I-I want you to...
I want you to look at me.

Okay, I want you
to zoom up,

focus up and just really
look in my eyes.
Okay.

Okay, I'm looking. Yeah.

Postpone the wedding.

Do it! Do it.

I'm-I'm begging you.

Uh, no, I can't.

I already have 85 RSVPs,
so it's, uh, too late.

Too late. Too, too,
too, too late.

Also, Paula, why

are you trying to talk me
out of getting married?

Oh.
What do you have
against this wedding?

Nothing!

That's-that's not what I said.

I...
I know. Look,

I know it seems
like this is a lot, but

really, I'm in an okay place.

I almost have
a dress picked out.
Ooh!

I mean, I was gonna wear
the dress that Sasha wore,

but she wore her mother's dress,
which is not an option for me,

'cause my mother
burned her wedding dress.

She was five months pregnant
when she got married,

so she decided to get rid of all
of her disgusting fat clothes.

Look, these-these
cake pops here--

they-they look
really complicated.

Oh, but one's a lady,
and one's a man.

It's adorable, but how about,
you know, just forget these.

Okay? And ooh!

I can go to Costco! I can
order you a sheet cake!

Oh, God, everybody loves
a Costco sheet cake.

That's so great.
(gasps)

Oh, my God,
that's such a great idea!

Oh, that's so much
easier than...

Oh, God, what am I even... what
am I even doing with this stuff?

I'll take care of it. Yay!
Okay.

Oh, thank you, Matron of Honor.
Matron of Honor in the house!

Killing it!
Yeah.

Thank you. You're a lifesaver.

Okay. I love you. Bye!
Bye!

Okay.

Yeah, these cake pops
are gonna be amazing.

Best wedding ever!

(elevator bell dings)

(sighs, sniffles)

Um...
(stomach growling)

(sighs)

(knocking)

(sighs)

Are you supposed to wash kale
before you put it in a smoothie?

Just asking for a friend.
(sniffles)

Nathaniel?

Hmm?

You have to go home.

You're sick.

No, I'm not sick.

(sniffles)
I'm not sick.

(clears his throat)
I don't believe in sick.

It's like my dad always said,

"If you're not missing a leg,
you walk it off.

"And if you are missing a leg,
you limp it off.

"And if you're missing two legs,
thank you for your service.

Here's a quarter."

It is so weird.
We have nothing in common,

and yet we have the same father.

(stomach grumbling)

Seriously, you guys need
to leave the office right now.

I really think...
No!

No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
(passing wind)

Mm. No.

No! No. No.

No!

What just...?

Oh! No.

(groans)

Is it... is it still happening

right now?
Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Aah. And still?

Yeah. Yup.

(groaning):
Oh!

All right.

You did it, so that's all over.

He didn't do anything!

It was me!

I pooped my pants
in this enclosed office.

Let me roll you

to the bathroom.
Let me help you.

No! I'm fine.

I don't need help.

I got this.

*

(grunts, sniffs)

Nothing to see here!

Everyone go back to work!

There's nothing
to see here, okay?

(birds chirping)

(sighs)

Oh. Hey, Sara, I was hoping
no one would notice me

sitting here alone.
Really?

You just waved
me over here.

You okay?

Yeah. Just a...

you know, just a little bummed.

You know, I had a bunch
of ideas for the wedding,

and she didn't like
most of them.

I don't know.
I-I'm starting to feel

like I'm showing up
at someone else's wedding.

Well, Josh, what
do you really want?

You want to see?

Josh, that is awesome.

Yeah, but she said...
No, you got to go for it.

Otherwise you'll always feel
like it wasn't your wedding.

Yeah. You're right.

(chuckles)
Thank you.

God, you're so chill.

I gave you that suit so
you could drive home in it.

Darryl, I can't go home.

We have that meeting.

In fact, we need
to get going to that.

Oh, God.
(groans)

Okay, you know what,
you are not ready

for any kind of meeting, sir.

You look bad. And
it's not just the suit.
I...

Yeah, you should rest.
Hey, tell you what, we'll
get started without you.

You take a nap or something.
You can join us later.

(scoffs)
A nap?

I don't nap. I'm a man.

What?

Napping is manly.

Bears nap
for, like, what, months?

Right? What could be more manly
than a bear?

A lion?

Oh. Well...
It's like

my dad says,
naps are for children,

the elderly, and weaklings.

Your dad has a
saying about naps?

Hey. Your old man isn't here.

You can do whatever you want!

That's right.
Your dad's not here, and we are.

And we're telling you
you don't need to take a nap

like a little baby--

you can take a nap like a man.

Take a man nap!

Come on!

On the couch.

Feet up.

Come on.

*

* It's a man nap

* Time to nap like a man

* Sleepy, sleepy cuddle time

* Nap like a man

* Life is so tiring

* When you're a man

* Squinty, squinty,
mouth agape *

* Nappy-nap man

*

* Oh, baby, the day is long

* Work is stressful

* It's exhausting
being so damn strong *

* It feels so right
to just let it go *

* 'Cause as a man gets older

* His testosterone
starts getting low *

* Man nap

* Time to nap like a man

* Suit jacket is a blankie now

* Nap like a man

* Life is so intense

* When you're a man

* Drooly, drooly,
dreamy smile... *

* Nappy-nap man.

(exhales)

(knocking at door)

Hey, can
I hang out here?

My house is really stressful
right now.

I need wines.
Do you have wines?

Yeah. Sure.
(exhales)

Thank you.
Come on in.

Dude, you cannot believe how
hard Rebecca is bugging out

over this wedding.
It is, like...

Wait.

Sorry. No, I should not be
talking to you about this.

Eh, it's okay.

Really? 'Cause your good friend

is now marrying
your ex-boyfriend.

I mean, if I were you,
I would hate them both.

I know. It's weird, but I don't.

(chuckles)
I truly am over Josh.

And if Rebecca wants to marry
him, then good luck to her.

Really? 'Cause you seem
a little out of it lately.

(sighs)
Like, I took
your yoga class,

and corpse pose
was basically the whole class.

Truth is,
I actually don't know

what to do with my life
right now.

You know what I mean?
Yeah.

Like,

I truly don't miss Josh.

Like, at all. Like, ugh.

But I had planned
this whole future around him.

Like, our wedding,
our kids, our house,

our couples Halloween costumes.

Mm.
And now

I have to plan this whole future
for myself,

and I don't know what it is.

Like, I don't even know
if it still includes yoga.

Yeah.

That's a bummer.

That sounds really hard.

But I came here
'cause I was stressed, so...

wines?

PATRICK:
What are these for?

I don't know. I-I don't know.
I don't know, Patrick.

I... They're probably supposed
to go on something

or in something or be hung.

Or maybe they're
all just giant pens.

I... Whatever it is,
I'm doing this all alone,

so I'm gonna screw it up.

(phone chimes)

It's an RSVP from my dad.

What is...

Hey, so, um, the answer's no.

My dad's not coming
to my wedding.

But-but it's okay,
'cause he actually sent

a really sweet note. "Stuck
on a remote construction site

"in Alaska,
tough to get flights,

can't make it." Great.

Great,
great. I...

I'm not disappointed.
It's what I expected.

Of course my father's not coming
to my wedding

and walking me down the aisle.
Of course.

'Cause that's a normal thing,

and normal things
are not for me.

Oh, man, that's tough.

Well, I should

probably keep going on my run.
Hey.

Hey, hey, Patrick,
please don't go.

I really need someone to talk
to, and you're the only one

that I can talk to, um, because
I've messed everything up.

And if anyone knew how
much I messed things up,

uh, they might never
talk to me again.

(exhales)

Patrick, you were right.

About my boss. Okay?

(sighs) That time
in the elevator we got stuck,

there wasn't just chemistry.
He wasn't just "foine."

We kissed.

Uh, no...
I-I kissed him.

I kissed him.
And ever since that happened,

I have just been scrambling
to make this wedding happen

to just smooth everything over.

And I've been trying to do it
like a normal person.

But, of course, that's
not working, because I'm...

I'm not a normal person, okay?

I'm not Dustin,
and I'm not Sasha.

I'm not from Nova Scotia.
And I'm freaking out.

But you're here.

You're here.

And you can help me.

I can?

*

* Tell me I'm okay, Patrick

* Tell me, please,
that's all you have to do *

* Just one little okay

* And you'll be on your way

* Patrick, I really need
that from you *

* Tell me I'm okay, Patrick

* No pressure,
but I seriously need to know *

* I realize your occupation

* Is not gentle validation

* But just this once, Patrick

* Give it a go

* You represent

* The outside world
'cause you don't know me *

* Your perception of me
is completely pure *

* You don't have an agenda

* That's why I need you
to lend a *

* Hand, Patrick

* 'Cause I think I'm fine,
Patrick *

* But I'm only, like

* 43% sure

* Tell me I'm okay

* Patrick

* Or even something in the
ballpark would be nice *

* You can phrase it
how you want *

* You can make it nonchalant

* Forget the "O"

* Even just "K"
would suffice *

Seriously, Patrick,

was I sick the day in school

they taught you
how to be a normal person?

It just feels like
there's something fundamental

I'm missing out on. Like,
is there an instruction manual?

You get what I'm
saying, Patrick?

It just... it just feels
like everyone is in this cabal

of normal people,
and they're all laughing at me

like I'm the jester
in my own Truman Show.

Patrick,
tell me what the secret is.

Just tell me what the secret is.

Is there a manual?

Do you have the manual? I know
you have the manual, Patrick.

I know it's in your truck,
Patrick!

* I'm sorry that
I yelled, Patrick *

* But I need just a little more
from you today *

* So, Patrick, hear my plea

* Make one last delivery

* Say the word

* Patrick, tell me I'm okay...

* Am I okay?

REBECCA:
Patrick,

I'm...

I'm so tired.

*

(elevator bell dings)

(quiet chatter)

Oh, my goodness, uh,
Mr. Plimpton, Senior.

How wonderful
to see you!

Uh, to what do we owe
this enormous privilege?

I was on my way
to Palm Springs.

I came by to say hello,

see how things were here
in the hinterlands.

(laughing)
So where is he?

Where is Nathaniel?
(clears his throat)

Um, he's...
Well, he's actually
currently engaged

in a very important
male rite of passage.

Isn't this his
office right there?

Yes. Um...
Just...

(Paula hits Darryl)

Pop, you're here!

(laughs)

Um...

Were you asleep?
Are you suddenly a baby,

an elderly, a weakling?

Were you feeling ti-ti?

I was, uh... I...
No, I was, um...

I was... sick?

Sick? Really?

You look fine to me.

Actually, I feel a lot better.
It's amazing what a nap can do.

What are you wearing?
What is this suit?

You look like
an unsuccessful oil tycoon.

I'm sorry, Dad.

We'll discuss this later

when I can safely breathe
through my nose.

(sighs deeply)

Don't pity me! I pity you!

HEATHER:
Dude, just don't
touch anything.

(laughter)

Oh, my God I want to see all
of Rebecca's wedding stuff.

I just love wedding stuff!

Drinking in the
day time is fun.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Yeah.
Rebecca?

What is going on in here?

Did you murder a wedding?

Seriously,
this is a disaster.

Why are you doing this
all by yourself?

I don't know. Because
I don't need help.

And, you know, I'm doing
a do-it-yourself myself.

(groans)

Oh, you're right.

Right. This is a fiasco.

I give up.

I'm just gonna
have to settle for

the fact Josh and I are gonna
have an F-minus wedding

at an A-plus venue,
which means it'll be a C,

which everyone knows
is actually an F.

(sighs heavily)

All right, just, if you want
any of this stuff, take it.

Really? Those are
the pricey pussy willows.

Just help yourself.

I'm gonna go to bed, 'cause
it's the one thing I'm good at.

(sighs)

Ow.

What are you doing here?

Thought you were planning
your fancy wedding

and couldn't be bothered
to do your job.

I was. Um...

But I'm kind of
giving up.

I don't know. I'm gonna move
the date back or something.

Maybe then my mom can help me,
and my dad can even show up.

Um, did you guys want
to sit at the same table?

Wait. Your father's
not coming to your wedding?

No. No, he's, um...

he's stuck on a remote
construction site in Alaska,

which, now that I'm saying it
out loud--

that is a total lie. Yeah.

He just doesn't
want to come.

Even if I
move the date.

It hurts. I wish it didn't,
but it... it does.

MAYA:
My father and I

e-mail each other Westworld
theories every Monday.

(footsteps approaching)

V, what are you doing here?

I brought you a wedding.

My wedding.
What?

I had this at home.
It's everything you need.

It has a table of
contents, an index

and up-to-date
vendor cards.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Do you not want me
to have this?
No.

I do. You just need to pull a
lot harder. This is hard for me.

Okay. Totally.

(groans)
Oh, nope.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

I can't give this to you.

(laughing):
You're gonna mess it all up.

Oh.

(sighs)

I'm gonna do it.
I'll do it.
Do what?

I'm gonna plan you the
wedding of my dreams.

I'm gonna be your
wedding planner.

Wait. What?

You need one.
Desperately.

Like in the movies
with the headsets

and the black pant suits?

Yeah, wow, I would actually
totally crush that look.

Oh, my God, she so would.

Valencia, you would
actually do this for me?

No, it's not for you.

It's for the
institution of weddings.

(crickets chirping)

I don't care what anyone says!
I love it!

Oh, hey, Josh.

Where's Rebecca?

Oh, she's taking a bath and
doing a moisturizing treatment

on those damaged cuticles
and flaky heels.

No bride of mine is gonna be
shedding like a snake

while walking
down the aisle.

I'm planning
your wedding.

What are you
wearing, by the way?

You look like the guest of
honor at a park ranger gala.

REBECCA:
Oh, V,

thank you.
I feel so much better.

Mm-hmm.

Hi, Josh.

You, um...
Mm. She...

She's...?

So, I finally
asked for help.

VALENCIA:
Great. So, Josh,
that tuxedo goes

in the garbage along with
the weird vintage tux Rebecca

ordered. I scheduled
a fitting for you

tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. sharp.

Put it down.

From now on,

you're on a strict diet.

Don't forget, I know
what gluten does to your face.

Sorry.

Patrick, I am so
glad you called me.

I had no idea what was
going on with Rebecca.

She's not confiding
in me at all.

Both of her parents
letting her down?

Yeah, I thought
you'd want to know.

(laughing):
Oh.

I always want to know.

Hey, Rebecca,

something came for
you from New York.

Did you order anything?

No. I didn't.

It's from my mother.

Really?
What could it be?

Hmm.

This is perfect.

I don't understand.
H-How did this happen?

You useless piece of crap
that calls herself a mother!

Your daughter called you
to beg you for help,

and you refuse her?!

After a lifetime of treating her
like a dog with scurvy?

No, you shut up, Naomi!

You get your ass

to the most expensive bridal
boutique you can find right now,

pull out your credit card and
get something in a size six

that is beautiful and magical
and will make everyone cry,

you horrendous excuse
for a person!

You do it today,
and you send it overnight!

(sighs)

Sometimes moms
just come through.

Thank you, Lucia.

God, it's such a great

dress.
Mm.

Well done, Naomi.

She has good taste.
Mm-hmm.

It's really disturbing
how normal

you look in that dress.

I do?!

Thank you!

(phone chimes)

Oh. Okay, fitting
is now over.

Time for the wedding shower,

or we'll be late
for the bachelorette tonight.

Rebecca, I put your outfit

on your bed.

Ladies, chop, chop.
It's about to begin.

(sings note)
(doorbell rings)

Is it gonna be weird for you
to see your never-in-laws?

Heather, I'm
a professional.

Also, they kind of
treated me like ass.

(gasps)
Baby food jars are
the new mason jars.

Aren't they the cutest?

The personal succulents
you can pick up

on your way out.

You're really
good at this.
Yeah, duh.

(overlapping chatter)
Can we get a drink?

(overlapping chatter)

Baby food jars,
totally trending. Have one.

WOMAN:
Mine's like a Christmas tree.

It has, like,
berries and...

HEATHER: Yeah, should I just
keep holding this?
VALENCIA: Yeah. Just...

Doing great.
Does anyone
want another one?

Oh, no. Cheers.
Cheers to the bride.

WOMEN:
Cheers.

Rebecca, that zoning
motion you just turned in?

Are you serious?

Darryl and I need to see
you in his office ASAP.

What?!
Come on.

You know, usually
when someone poops their pants,

they gain a little bit
of humility.

Heard about
that, huh?

(Rebecca scoffs)

Where's the...?

Dad?

What are you doing here?

Someone sent a private plane.

It barely gets used.

You're here!

You're really

here!

(laughing)

(Nathaniel groans)

Thank you.

(clears his throat)

Why would you do this?

Because I know what it's like
to care about your dad

and what he thinks,
even if you wish you didn't.

Thank you.

(Darryl sighs)

Mmm.

Reminds me of
Marley & Me.

You're the
Labrador.

(crying):
And he's the owner.

(crickets chirping)

Okay, just a few
more touches, and

press "live."

(gasps)

Guys, check this out.
I outdid myself.

Oh! Oh, V, that's...

That's just beautiful.

Mmm.

Over my dead body.

Captioning sponsored by
CBS

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org