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Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
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if you're getting your butterfly
smashed, I am all for it.
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- As long as it's not Greg.
- Oh...
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Paula: He is Josh's best
friend, okay, and if you sleep
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with Josh's best friend,
that ruins any possibility
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for when you finally come
to your senses and realize
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that you were meant for Josh.
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Why does Rebecca like him?
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Why is she all buddy-buddy with him?
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He's just a stupid know-it-all.
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You're sleeping with Rebecca.
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All the time. A lot.
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It's Greg? You're sleeping with Greg?
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How could you?
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_
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So you're galloping through
the forest looking for me,
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'cause I was stolen by the evil witch,
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and you finally find me
in the enchanted woods.
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You gasp!
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You know, gasp?
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Just go like this.
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(Gasps)
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This is boring, Rebecca.
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Why can't we play with my trucks?
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Shh!
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Jake, you're not getting this.
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When we see each other,
the spell is lifted,
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and a song plays.
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I'm thinking that great song
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from the movie "Slumbered"
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Do you know it?
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It goes like this...
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♪ In one indescribable instant ♪
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♪ the whole world falls away... ♪
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No way. I'm not doing this.
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What? Come on.
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With that attitude,
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you're never gonna be
anyone's Prince Charming,
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while I'm gonna have a great love story.
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Greg: Wow. So Paula was pretty
pissed when she walked out of here.
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Yeah, I don't... I don't
know what her problem is.
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You feeling better, Bunch?
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Yeah.
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Hey, I'm sorry I...
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ruined your hot date.
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What? Nah, I left as
soon as you texted me.
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Actually, I never wanted
to be there to begin with.
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I should've said that right off the bat.
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Yeah, you should've.
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What about your hot dates next week?
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You have, like, eight.
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I made those up.
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Those were fake.
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All eight of them?
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Get out.
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It is my turn now.
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I have calmed down,
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I am ready to speak to Rebecca,
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so get out.
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Don't worry.
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Stepping out.
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♪ ♪
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I asked you a million times
who you were sleeping with,
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and you lied to me.
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And with Greg Serrano, of all people.
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After everything I've
done for your love story,
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to get you together with
Josh Chan, and you betray me
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by picking
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sarcastic, alcoholic, unromantic Greg?
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(Exhales)
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Whoa.
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Why are you still here?
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What... did you bring her flowers?
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Um, she's my friend,
she's in the hospital.
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That's what you do.
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What is that?
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You-you bought her a stupid balloon?
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No, no. No.
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This balloon is not stupid.
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It's genius.
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The messiah is riding a
unicorn over a rainbow.
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It's like the Turducken
of sympathy balloons.
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What are you even doing here?
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I said, I'm-I'm checking up on her.
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Dude, I know you two had
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a kind of momentary tongue connection,
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but Rebecca isn't into you anymore.
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She's... with me now.
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So maybe you should take those flowers
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back to your girlfriend,
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who you haven't been able to
commit to for over 15 years.
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Oh, don't turn this around on me.
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This is not about me and Valencia.
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Oh, okay. Sure.
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Fine, you give Rebecca these for me.
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But get used to me being her friend,
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because Rebecca and I are close.
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There's nothing you can do about that.
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She and I have a history,
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and whether you're with her or not,
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we're connected.
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Oh, uh-huh?
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Well, doesn't bother me
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and I don't care
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and it doesn't bother me,
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also a weird thing to say,
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and it doesn't bother me.
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Also, circling back,
you have a girlfriend.
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Say hi to your very patient girlfriend!
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(Sighs)
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Do you have any idea the
things that I have done for you?
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I have devoted my life to you.
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You have no idea
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the lengths that I have gone to.
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Take Thanksgiving, for example...
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You got me invited
to Josh's house, okay.
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Yes.
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How did I do that?
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How did you just magically
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bump into Josh's mother at the market?
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- Huh? Huh?
- I don't know.
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Rebecca, under Lourdes Chan's car
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is a tracking device that is keyed
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into a beeper in my desk at the office.
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I had to smuggle that
device in from Armenia.
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I know where that woman
is every hour of every day.
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- Whoa.
- Yeah.
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And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
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I have done things for you
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that you can't even imagine,
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things that would make your head spin.
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And I did it for you.
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No, no, I didn't ask you
to do any of those things.
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Don't talk... anymore!
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- (Low strings begin playing)
- Paula? What are you doing?
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Paula, why are you
shutting the doctors out?
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♪ Time for you to shut up! ♪
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(Orchestral sting)
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00:04:50,756 --> 00:04:52,823
♪ Time for you to sit down! ♪
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00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:53,624
(Orchestral sting)
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♪ Paula's tired ♪
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♪ of being your sidekick ♪
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♪ your henchman ♪
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♪ your eager ♪
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- (Orchestral sting)
- ♪ little ♪
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♪ clown ♪
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♪ after everything
I've done for you... ♪
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00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:16,213
♪ That I didn't ask for! ♪
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00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:20,851
♪ Do you have any idea
the work you're undoing? ♪
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00:05:21,218 --> 00:05:24,021
♪ After everything
I've done for you ♪
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00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:26,156
♪ that you didn't ask for ♪
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♪ let's just say Greg isn't
the only one you're screwing ♪
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Want to know all the
things I've done for you?
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♪ I broke into Josh's
old high school ♪
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♪ and made copies
of all his grades ♪
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00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,837
♪ I "bumped into" Lourdes at Starbucks ♪
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♪ and suggested you
be a bridesmaid ♪
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00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,876
♪ I blackmailed Valencia's boss ♪
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00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:48,845
♪ so now I control
when she teaches ♪
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♪ that's right, I make
yoga class schedules ♪
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♪ there's no limit
to where my reach is ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ after everything
I've done for you ♪
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00:05:59,024 --> 00:06:01,658
♪ that you didn't ask for ♪
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♪ God! Will your lies never end? ♪
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00:06:05,764 --> 00:06:09,032
♪ After everything
I've done for you ♪
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00:06:09,034 --> 00:06:11,535
♪ that you didn't ask for ♪
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♪ the least you can do is
be honest with your mother ♪
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♪ I mean, friend ♪
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♪ what's that look on your face? ♪
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♪ You're horrified ♪
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♪ you think I'm a monster ♪
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♪ for doing your dirty work ♪
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♪ you think love is
stainless and pure ♪
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♪ but beneath all the fantasy ♪
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♪ there's filth and there's gore ♪
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♪ so now it's ♪
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♪ time for me to walk out ♪
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(Orchestral sting)
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00:06:44,770 --> 00:06:47,337
♪ Time for me to say no! ♪
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♪ Paula's tired of working
for no thanks at all ♪
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♪ Paula's ♪
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00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:52,976
(Orchestral sting)
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♪ Gonna ♪
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(Orchestral sting)
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♪ Go... ♪
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♪ You're nothing without me ♪
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00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,855
♪ and my creativity ♪
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00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:06,223
♪ I created you ♪
190
00:07:06,225 --> 00:07:07,557
♪ you lived in my womb ♪
191
00:07:07,559 --> 00:07:09,459
♪ I mean, figuratively ♪
192
00:07:09,461 --> 00:07:12,562
♪ after everything
I've done for you ♪
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00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:15,265
♪ I don't, I don't,
I don't know why ♪
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♪ so now ♪
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♪ I'm gonna say ♪
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♪ good-bye! ♪
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If you think you're over Josh,
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you are fooling yourself.
199
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The other balloon options were
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"It's a boy" or "Suck it, cancer."
201
00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:01,009
You wouldn't have preferred
flowers, would you?
202
00:08:01,011 --> 00:08:02,410
What? No. No. I love flowers
203
00:08:02,412 --> 00:08:03,978
and I love ironic stick balloons.
204
00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:05,046
I love them both.
205
00:08:05,048 --> 00:08:06,514
Right, but you must love one
206
00:08:06,516 --> 00:08:08,183
more than the other, though, right?
207
00:08:08,185 --> 00:08:10,518
I mean, maybe you love
stick balloons a little bit,
208
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,454
because you think they're
funny and charming, kind of,
209
00:08:12,711 --> 00:08:14,456
in an, uh, unthreatening way.
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00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:17,192
But flowers, you, like,
love, 'cause they hold
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00:08:17,194 --> 00:08:19,527
a special place in your heart
and have been there forever,
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00:08:19,529 --> 00:08:21,629
and stick balloons should just give up
213
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:22,945
because he's wasting his time?
214
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,599
Hey, what-what-what's
wrong with you?
215
00:08:24,601 --> 00:08:26,477
Hmm? What? Aah!
216
00:08:26,969 --> 00:08:29,070
I'm fine. You're the one
who's all over the place.
217
00:08:29,072 --> 00:08:32,540
Really? How much morphine did I have?
218
00:08:32,542 --> 00:08:34,676
(Chuckles) You know what,
you've been through a lot.
219
00:08:34,678 --> 00:08:36,711
You're... you should rest. I'm gonna go.
220
00:08:36,713 --> 00:08:39,914
I'm gonna jet and I'm
gonna text you later.
221
00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:42,751
But... you could... (Sighs)
222
00:08:43,664 --> 00:08:45,019
Marco: Why did you freak out and leave?
223
00:08:45,021 --> 00:08:46,755
I don't know.
224
00:08:46,757 --> 00:08:48,623
After I saw Josh in the hospital,
225
00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:51,159
I realized she always goes back to him.
226
00:08:51,161 --> 00:08:53,161
I'm just the guy she settles for.
227
00:08:53,186 --> 00:08:55,697
Greg, she likes you. She chose you.
228
00:08:56,523 --> 00:08:58,900
You guys have sex 50 times a day.
229
00:08:58,902 --> 00:09:00,835
Why do... why do I
tell you those things?
230
00:09:00,837 --> 00:09:02,871
Eh, you got issues, kid.
231
00:09:02,873 --> 00:09:04,072
Oh, it's awful.
232
00:09:04,074 --> 00:09:06,074
I... (Sighs) I can't care this much.
233
00:09:06,076 --> 00:09:08,042
Caring, on me, is very unattractive.
234
00:09:08,044 --> 00:09:09,544
It'll ruin everything.
235
00:09:09,546 --> 00:09:12,313
I chased after her for
months, no interest from her,
236
00:09:12,315 --> 00:09:14,649
I finally force myself to stop caring,
237
00:09:14,651 --> 00:09:16,151
and that's when she was into me.
238
00:09:16,153 --> 00:09:18,753
That's what she likes... The not caring.
239
00:09:18,755 --> 00:09:21,602
Oh, come on, this is embarrassing.
240
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:24,392
This is fear talking.
241
00:09:24,394 --> 00:09:26,027
You're just afraid she's
gonna hurt you again.
242
00:09:26,281 --> 00:09:27,695
I know what I need to do.
243
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,531
I need to be...
244
00:09:29,798 --> 00:09:32,932
Like, the uncaring bad boy.
245
00:09:33,321 --> 00:09:34,654
Oh, my God, you're an idiot.
246
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:37,953
You can look now.
247
00:09:41,484 --> 00:09:44,045
I thought you weren't supposed
to wear white to a wedding.
248
00:09:44,047 --> 00:09:47,849
Technically it's ivory and
Jayma's dress is Alaskan Snow.
249
00:09:47,851 --> 00:09:50,151
Don't you already have
a bridesmaid's dress?
250
00:09:50,153 --> 00:09:52,687
(Laughs) I need a second
look for the reception.
251
00:09:52,689 --> 00:09:54,189
Don't be insane-brain.
252
00:09:54,191 --> 00:09:56,524
Also, I look amazing in this dress.
253
00:09:57,414 --> 00:09:58,834
I ordered some shoes, too,
254
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:01,289
but they haven't come in.
I'm just trying to be patient.
255
00:10:01,672 --> 00:10:03,231
Patient, yeah.
256
00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:04,699
You're good at that.
257
00:10:04,849 --> 00:10:06,218
I am?
258
00:10:07,102 --> 00:10:08,367
With me.
259
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,922
V, I know you want a commitment.
260
00:10:15,063 --> 00:10:18,046
Some women wouldn't have
put up with me this long.
261
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,475
- What are you saying?
- I'm saying
262
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,164
I'm not oblivious.
263
00:10:22,419 --> 00:10:24,555
I know what the next step is for us.
264
00:10:25,297 --> 00:10:26,888
I'm going to look for a ring.
265
00:10:26,890 --> 00:10:29,057
But I'm just asking you
266
00:10:29,059 --> 00:10:30,195
one thing.
267
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:33,638
Just... let me do it in my own way.
268
00:10:33,813 --> 00:10:36,431
In my own time.
269
00:10:37,359 --> 00:10:38,500
Is that okay?
270
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,193
Of course.
271
00:10:40,218 --> 00:10:42,151
Whatever you need.
272
00:10:47,511 --> 00:10:49,611
(Mouthing)
273
00:10:53,617 --> 00:10:55,383
Heather: You need to realize
274
00:10:55,408 --> 00:10:57,922
that "you up?" Is text
for "are you horny?"
275
00:10:58,234 --> 00:10:59,721
Okay, whatever, listen.
276
00:10:59,723 --> 00:11:01,222
I need to talk to somebody.
277
00:11:01,224 --> 00:11:02,824
And I'm in a huge fight with
my best friend right now,
278
00:11:02,826 --> 00:11:05,326
and without her I'm feeling
super insecure about Greg.
279
00:11:05,328 --> 00:11:07,562
Yeah, and since you know him super well,
280
00:11:07,564 --> 00:11:10,198
I don't know, I thought
you could help me out.
281
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,734
So... what's the problem?
282
00:11:13,203 --> 00:11:15,108
I mean, I, of all people,
283
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,671
know he digs you.
284
00:11:16,673 --> 00:11:18,239
Right, okay, but we
were in the hospital,
285
00:11:18,241 --> 00:11:19,674
and he was really sweet,
and then we got home,
286
00:11:19,676 --> 00:11:21,009
and he was, like, weird again.
287
00:11:21,011 --> 00:11:22,810
Yeah, that sounds like Greg.
288
00:11:22,992 --> 00:11:25,188
I mean, you know, he gets,
like, freaked about stuff.
289
00:11:25,449 --> 00:11:27,716
Plus, you have that
weird thing with Josh.
290
00:11:27,718 --> 00:11:28,425
So maybe...
291
00:11:28,450 --> 00:11:29,925
No, no, no, no. He knows
that's over, though.
292
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,645
He knows that's done.
I want to be with him.
293
00:11:32,289 --> 00:11:34,222
We need to share how we
feel with the other...
294
00:11:34,224 --> 00:11:36,391
Yeah, we need, like, a moment, right?
295
00:11:36,393 --> 00:11:37,859
A moment, like, where the prince
296
00:11:37,861 --> 00:11:40,356
and princess pledge their troth.
297
00:11:40,755 --> 00:11:42,330
Feed their pigs?
298
00:11:42,332 --> 00:11:45,308
No, like, they-they
dance together at a ball.
299
00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:47,113
Or they kiss in a tower.
300
00:11:47,138 --> 00:11:49,513
They sail on a magic
carpet through the sky.
301
00:11:50,481 --> 00:11:51,605
I just want to look
302
00:11:51,630 --> 00:11:54,573
into Greg's eyes and,
you know, have a moment!
303
00:11:54,598 --> 00:11:55,543
It's the moment!
304
00:11:55,545 --> 00:11:57,167
It's like, oh, it's like
in that movie "Slumbered",
305
00:11:57,192 --> 00:11:59,547
when the princess wakes up
and then the song starts.
306
00:11:59,549 --> 00:12:02,217
You know... ♪ in one
indescribable instant ♪
307
00:12:02,219 --> 00:12:04,519
♪ the whole world falls away... ♪
308
00:12:04,521 --> 00:12:06,321
Oh, God, you're one of those girls.
309
00:12:06,528 --> 00:12:08,523
Okay, dude, so the moment you're craving
310
00:12:08,525 --> 00:12:10,992
isn't anchored in real emotion.
311
00:12:10,994 --> 00:12:12,694
It's a script dictated to you
312
00:12:12,696 --> 00:12:15,397
by our society's
patriarchal love narrative.
313
00:12:15,399 --> 00:12:17,165
Wow, that's fascinating.
Did you learn that in school?
314
00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:19,269
No, actually that's from
this month's Glamor.
315
00:12:19,294 --> 00:12:22,504
Look, just tell him how you feel.
316
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:25,159
Say, "Dude, I dig you.
317
00:12:25,184 --> 00:12:26,741
I got the feels."
318
00:12:26,743 --> 00:12:29,678
I mean, angels don't have
to be singing or some crap.
319
00:12:29,872 --> 00:12:32,489
But just, like, be chill.
320
00:12:33,364 --> 00:12:34,495
(Knocking)
321
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,933
Greg: Just remember
322
00:12:35,958 --> 00:12:37,784
I don't care.
323
00:12:37,809 --> 00:12:39,154
- Hey!
- Yo!
324
00:12:39,156 --> 00:12:40,455
What up? What up?
325
00:12:40,457 --> 00:12:41,456
I brought brew dogs!
326
00:12:41,651 --> 00:12:42,917
Yeah. Yeah.
327
00:12:42,942 --> 00:12:43,758
- Hi.
- Thanks.
328
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,427
- It's good... oh.
- Oh.
329
00:12:45,429 --> 00:12:46,628
That's fine. We're just hanging!
330
00:12:46,630 --> 00:12:48,137
It's fine. Oh...
331
00:12:48,162 --> 00:12:49,995
So I, uh, I just came over
332
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,863
to, you know, like rap and hang out
333
00:12:51,888 --> 00:12:53,601
and talk about stuff.
334
00:12:53,603 --> 00:12:54,969
It doesn't even have to be
the primary activity, though.
335
00:12:54,971 --> 00:12:56,137
We can do other stuff
while we're talking.
336
00:12:56,139 --> 00:12:57,706
Do you, uh, do you want to watch TV?
337
00:12:57,708 --> 00:12:59,307
Yeah, sounds great.
338
00:12:59,309 --> 00:13:00,675
It's great.
339
00:13:00,677 --> 00:13:02,450
Turn it on.
340
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,282
Oh, the way we were.
341
00:13:04,581 --> 00:13:06,047
I don't want to watch it. I'm sorry.
342
00:13:06,049 --> 00:13:08,650
I was just like saying, "oh,
it's the way we were, blah."
343
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,266
There's a monster truck rally on.
344
00:13:12,984 --> 00:13:14,050
What do you think?
345
00:13:14,075 --> 00:13:15,557
That could be so bad it's awesome.
346
00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:17,025
Yeah, that's funny.
347
00:13:17,456 --> 00:13:18,688
It's really funny.
348
00:13:20,825 --> 00:13:23,591
Hey, um, so, so the
rea... The reason I-I,
349
00:13:23,763 --> 00:13:25,544
I came over, um, uh,
350
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,966
was I, uh, I wanted to
351
00:13:29,325 --> 00:13:31,106
(Southern accent): Tell you that I...
352
00:13:31,131 --> 00:13:32,996
(Sniffs) Did you fart?
353
00:13:33,529 --> 00:13:34,828
Yeah, I did.
354
00:13:34,853 --> 00:13:37,347
I, uh, ate a bean burrito
355
00:13:37,372 --> 00:13:38,894
out of the freezer from the '90s,
356
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:40,181
'cause I don't care, and, uh,
357
00:13:40,475 --> 00:13:41,675
I have a candle... Do you want it?
358
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:42,650
I have a triple wick. I can get it...
359
00:13:42,652 --> 00:13:43,918
I don't care, though.
360
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,553
Nah, I don't care, I
mean, it's, you know,
361
00:13:45,598 --> 00:13:47,833
it's the body. The body makes things.
362
00:13:47,858 --> 00:13:48,890
- So I get it.
- I'm gonna, I'm gonna get it.
363
00:13:48,892 --> 00:13:50,358
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just...
364
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:53,405
Cool, um... I'll probably
let one rip, too, 'cause...
365
00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:54,696
Farting is hilarious.
366
00:13:54,698 --> 00:13:56,911
It's classic humor. What's that?
367
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:03,872
Oh, wow, it's Jayma's
wedding invitation.
368
00:14:03,874 --> 00:14:05,206
(Gasps)
369
00:14:05,208 --> 00:14:08,067
Gasp. How romantic.
370
00:14:09,044 --> 00:14:11,197
It's perfect.
371
00:14:12,149 --> 00:14:17,519
Little Rebecca: ♪ in one
indescribable instant ♪
372
00:14:17,521 --> 00:14:21,823
♪ the whole world falls away. ♪
373
00:14:21,825 --> 00:14:24,058
♪ ♪
374
00:14:30,122 --> 00:14:32,133
I found it. This one's extra strength.
375
00:14:32,135 --> 00:14:33,501
Should do the trick.
376
00:14:33,503 --> 00:14:34,969
So, what did you want to say?
377
00:14:42,835 --> 00:14:44,502
Oh, yeah. Did you get that invite?
378
00:14:44,504 --> 00:14:45,703
Are you going to Jayma's wedding?
379
00:14:45,705 --> 00:14:47,827
Y-yes.
380
00:14:47,852 --> 00:14:49,473
I was gonna ask if you were going,
381
00:14:49,475 --> 00:14:51,809
but I knew you were a
bridesmaid and then you weren't.
382
00:14:51,811 --> 00:14:54,178
- What happened there?
- Oh, it was nothing. It was just, like,
383
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:55,213
a stupid clerical error.
384
00:14:55,215 --> 00:14:56,214
But, um, yeah,
385
00:14:56,216 --> 00:14:57,148
no, I'm-I'm definitely...
386
00:14:57,150 --> 00:14:57,991
definitely going. Sounds like a hoot.
387
00:14:58,016 --> 00:14:59,550
Um, hey, oh, my gosh,
388
00:14:59,552 --> 00:15:01,018
this just popped into my nogs.
389
00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:02,820
Do you want to go... together?
390
00:15:02,822 --> 00:15:04,622
Yeah. No. Uh, s-sure.
391
00:15:04,624 --> 00:15:06,757
I don't care. We... I could, um...
392
00:15:06,759 --> 00:15:08,795
We could... we could go.
393
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,661
Great! So, let me... I'll just make sure
394
00:15:10,663 --> 00:15:12,116
I RSVP'd with Josh's Mom.
395
00:15:15,202 --> 00:15:16,601
Woman: Now,
396
00:15:16,603 --> 00:15:18,869
for my song, I need to be seated
397
00:15:18,871 --> 00:15:21,913
exactly 20 feet away, because
I have a 15-second intro.
398
00:15:21,938 --> 00:15:25,717
Myrna, this is my daughter's
wedding, not a gig at Pechanga.
399
00:15:25,742 --> 00:15:26,936
I'm her aunt.
400
00:15:26,961 --> 00:15:29,095
This is my gift to her.
401
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:32,087
As God gifted me with my voice.
402
00:15:32,169 --> 00:15:35,604
Basically, I'm giving
her a gift from God.
403
00:15:35,629 --> 00:15:38,029
She's registered. She needs dish towels.
404
00:15:39,444 --> 00:15:40,791
Um,
405
00:15:41,038 --> 00:15:43,628
just so you know, there's a
406
00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:46,364
- small person staring at us.
- Oh, God,
407
00:15:46,366 --> 00:15:48,566
I think it's one of my
fans from Star Search.
408
00:15:48,568 --> 00:15:50,301
Yeah, that's probably it.
409
00:15:50,631 --> 00:15:51,506
Oh, boy.
410
00:15:51,531 --> 00:15:53,137
Rebecca...
411
00:15:53,139 --> 00:15:54,905
- You know her?
- (Sighs)
412
00:15:54,907 --> 00:15:58,609
Mrs. Chan. (Stammers) What
an Uber-duber coinkydinky
413
00:15:58,611 --> 00:16:01,373
to run into you here. That's so funny.
414
00:16:01,398 --> 00:16:03,803
Stop. You're Josh's Aunt Myrna.
415
00:16:03,828 --> 00:16:05,828
I've heard so much about you.
416
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:07,451
Mrs. Chan, it is so funny
417
00:16:07,453 --> 00:16:09,487
that I very coincidentally ran into you,
418
00:16:09,489 --> 00:16:11,922
because I, um... I actually
just-just bought Jayma
419
00:16:11,924 --> 00:16:13,391
a wedding present.
420
00:16:14,482 --> 00:16:16,049
(Gasps)
421
00:16:16,599 --> 00:16:20,567
You got the Iladro cherub on a peacock?
422
00:16:20,670 --> 00:16:24,172
This retails for $2,499.
423
00:16:24,686 --> 00:16:26,704
You are an angel.
424
00:16:26,706 --> 00:16:28,706
Thank you. You know,
425
00:16:28,708 --> 00:16:30,908
I'm really glad that
I, again, coincidentally
426
00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:33,444
ran into you, because I've been
wanting to talk to you about
427
00:16:33,446 --> 00:16:34,745
what happened with
Jayma's wedding dress.
428
00:16:34,747 --> 00:16:36,414
Yes, that was unfortunate.
429
00:16:36,416 --> 00:16:38,949
But I know you didn't
do it, Rebecca. (Exhales)
430
00:16:38,951 --> 00:16:41,585
Valencia was involved, and, with her,
431
00:16:41,587 --> 00:16:43,756
things tend to get complicated.
432
00:16:43,781 --> 00:16:46,389
Ate, that's not very nice.
433
00:16:46,481 --> 00:16:49,014
Valencia is a wonderful girl.
434
00:16:50,108 --> 00:16:53,913
Anyway, so if you could
give this to Jayma for me...
435
00:16:55,123 --> 00:16:56,663
I have a better idea.
436
00:16:56,787 --> 00:16:58,187
Deliver it yourself.
437
00:16:58,212 --> 00:17:00,412
Why don't you come to the wedding?
438
00:17:00,913 --> 00:17:02,406
Okay!
439
00:17:02,408 --> 00:17:05,491
(Chuckling) That would
be great. Thank you!
440
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,354
Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Guess
what. I have great news.
441
00:17:16,379 --> 00:17:17,578
So, I used your Armenian tracking device
442
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,771
to follow Lourdes, and
it worked like a dream.
443
00:17:20,796 --> 00:17:23,096
Let me tell you what happened.
So, I tracked Lourdes down
444
00:17:23,162 --> 00:17:24,395
at Boba, and I got
445
00:17:24,397 --> 00:17:25,496
re-invited to Jayma's wedding.
446
00:17:25,498 --> 00:17:27,331
So now I can go with Greg
447
00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:29,533
and we can have a moment
and share our feelings
448
00:17:29,535 --> 00:17:31,836
and our relationship can
begin. So I wanted to tell you
449
00:17:31,838 --> 00:17:33,545
Greg stuff can be really
fun and sneaky, too!
450
00:17:37,559 --> 00:17:38,748
Come on!
451
00:17:38,773 --> 00:17:41,045
(Whining): Just take me back.
452
00:17:41,047 --> 00:17:43,225
Come on. Please, let's go have a donut.
453
00:17:43,549 --> 00:17:45,428
Right? Let's go have a donut hole.
454
00:17:45,752 --> 00:17:47,818
Let's go have a donut
hole shoved into a donut.
455
00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:49,639
I thought of a name for
it... It's called a whole-nut.
456
00:17:53,169 --> 00:17:55,100
No, Paula, it's a whole-nut.
457
00:17:55,595 --> 00:17:56,959
A whole-nut.
458
00:18:01,026 --> 00:18:03,126
(Sighs)
459
00:18:07,494 --> 00:18:10,061
I'm looking for something
really pretty, Moshe.
460
00:18:10,376 --> 00:18:12,452
It's gonna be a very special evening.
461
00:18:13,444 --> 00:18:14,795
The start of a love story.
462
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:16,920
Ah, how wonderful.
463
00:18:17,301 --> 00:18:20,302
So, have you, uh, found your bashert?
464
00:18:20,959 --> 00:18:23,254
Your soul mate. Your destiny.
465
00:18:23,256 --> 00:18:25,006
Have you... Have you found him yet?
466
00:18:25,425 --> 00:18:26,873
Have I found my soul mate?
467
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:30,127
- Have I found my s...
- (Door opens)
468
00:18:31,164 --> 00:18:32,663
Josh.
469
00:18:32,665 --> 00:18:34,465
Rebecca, you're-you're, uh...
470
00:18:34,467 --> 00:18:36,819
(Clears throat) Back from the hospital.
471
00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:39,236
Y-you feeling better?
472
00:18:39,464 --> 00:18:41,061
Yeah. Thank you.
473
00:18:43,795 --> 00:18:45,609
You're back, Mr. Chan.
474
00:18:45,744 --> 00:18:47,344
You want to see the engagement rings
475
00:18:47,369 --> 00:18:49,402
you were looking at before?
476
00:18:50,991 --> 00:18:53,248
Engagement rings. Wow.
477
00:18:54,188 --> 00:18:56,188
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, just...
478
00:18:56,722 --> 00:19:00,535
- Been thinkin' about it. It's time.
- Mm-hmm.
479
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,342
That's really...
480
00:19:02,610 --> 00:19:04,744
Great and romantic. Congratulations.
481
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,844
Congratulations. Oh, my God.
Congratulations.
482
00:19:06,869 --> 00:19:12,203
Yeah. So, uh, what are
you doing here? (Chuckles)
483
00:19:12,205 --> 00:19:13,771
Right. I'm getting earrings,
484
00:19:13,773 --> 00:19:15,573
uh, for your sister's wedding, actually.
485
00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:17,072
- Yeah.
- I'm going. I'm, um... I'm going...
486
00:19:17,097 --> 00:19:17,875
Oh. Yeah. Right.
487
00:19:17,877 --> 00:19:19,610
Um, uh, well, I'm going with-with Greg.
488
00:19:19,612 --> 00:19:21,479
Right. Yeah. Great. Of
course. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
489
00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:27,842
Wow, those are really beautiful.
490
00:19:29,492 --> 00:19:31,358
Like something out of a fairy tale.
491
00:19:34,565 --> 00:19:39,100
Oy vey. What, what's
with these sad faces?
492
00:19:40,702 --> 00:19:43,801
My best to you and
Valencia both and always.
493
00:19:43,803 --> 00:19:45,870
Thank you. I-I also give to you
494
00:19:45,872 --> 00:19:48,366
and all of yours also my-my best.
495
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,209
Okay. Yeah.
496
00:19:57,128 --> 00:20:01,093
So, you ready to make a choice?
497
00:20:11,096 --> 00:20:13,329
Well, Becky, today's the day.
498
00:20:14,556 --> 00:20:16,758
Today you are gonna tell Greg
499
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,492
that you want to start a life together,
500
00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:20,003
and it's gonna be perfect.
501
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,524
God, pep talks into a mirror do nothing
502
00:20:23,549 --> 00:20:24,877
but enhance the loneliness.
503
00:20:24,902 --> 00:20:27,694
(Chirping)
504
00:20:27,719 --> 00:20:29,986
Well, hello, Mr. Love Bird!
505
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:32,538
Are you here to help me
get ready for the ball?
506
00:20:32,563 --> 00:20:34,656
_
507
00:20:34,681 --> 00:20:37,572
(Gasps) You are? Well, that's lovely.
508
00:20:37,597 --> 00:20:39,088
And I'm so glad you're here.
509
00:20:39,131 --> 00:20:40,564
Because today
510
00:20:40,566 --> 00:20:42,799
I'm gonna declare my love to a prince,
511
00:20:42,801 --> 00:20:45,135
and it's gonna
be oh-so-romantic.
512
00:20:45,137 --> 00:20:47,056
A perfect moment.
513
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:52,943
(Off-key): ♪ in one
indescribable instant ♪
514
00:20:52,945 --> 00:20:56,650
♪ the whole world falls away ♪
515
00:20:56,675 --> 00:20:58,969
_
516
00:20:58,994 --> 00:21:00,060
♪ in... ♪
517
00:21:00,085 --> 00:21:01,585
Greg: Rebecca!
518
00:21:01,587 --> 00:21:02,947
Who you talking to?
519
00:21:02,972 --> 00:21:06,456
No one! Who are you... Talking to?
520
00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:08,325
(Clears throat)
521
00:21:08,327 --> 00:21:10,760
(Humming)
522
00:21:12,998 --> 00:21:15,932
And now, the kingdom of Scarsdale
523
00:21:15,934 --> 00:21:18,268
presents the beautiful daughter
524
00:21:18,270 --> 00:21:20,291
of Silas and Naomi Bunch...
525
00:21:21,088 --> 00:21:22,228
Me!
526
00:21:24,376 --> 00:21:26,643
Okay, so just-just imagine
I'm, like, floating,
527
00:21:26,645 --> 00:21:28,078
like, on a pillow of magic.
528
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,384
And there are men with trumpets
lining the walkway.
529
00:21:30,408 --> 00:21:31,173
Wow.
530
00:21:31,198 --> 00:21:32,664
It's the movie "Slumbered". It's fine.
531
00:21:32,689 --> 00:21:34,173
I, uh...
532
00:21:34,986 --> 00:21:37,320
I don't... know what to say.
533
00:21:37,345 --> 00:21:38,811
Am I overdressed? Is this too... ?
534
00:21:38,836 --> 00:21:40,669
- I don't know. Is this too much?
- No.
535
00:21:40,859 --> 00:21:42,150
You look all right.
536
00:21:43,988 --> 00:21:45,321
All right. Okay.
537
00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:46,963
I will take that.
538
00:21:49,088 --> 00:21:51,067
Oh. You're wearing sneakers?
539
00:21:51,069 --> 00:21:53,937
Yeah, well, I didn't know
you were gonna get all fancy.
540
00:21:53,939 --> 00:21:55,642
I didn't know it was gonna
be like a whole thing.
541
00:21:55,932 --> 00:21:59,319
Um, yeah. No, it's a
wedding, uh, but I should have
542
00:21:59,344 --> 00:22:00,610
been clearer, so it's fine.
543
00:22:00,612 --> 00:22:01,912
Let's go. It'll be so fun,
544
00:22:01,914 --> 00:22:03,413
and you'll say nice things there.
545
00:22:03,415 --> 00:22:04,814
Okay, I'm gonna float out.
546
00:22:04,816 --> 00:22:07,416
Floating out, floating out.
547
00:22:08,153 --> 00:22:10,854
(Crowd chatter)
548
00:22:10,856 --> 00:22:14,758
It was... oh, that ceremony...
It was so beautiful.
549
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,134
I cried so much. I just love weddings.
550
00:22:17,159 --> 00:22:20,166
Of course you do, you
poor unmarried thing.
551
00:22:20,191 --> 00:22:21,166
Josh,
552
00:22:21,191 --> 00:22:23,658
when are you gonna put a ring
on this lovely girl's finger?
553
00:22:30,384 --> 00:22:32,809
Oh, my God, this is lovely.
554
00:22:32,811 --> 00:22:34,277
Yeah, I guess.
555
00:22:34,279 --> 00:22:35,869
No. Isn't it romantic?
556
00:22:35,894 --> 00:22:37,048
I don't know.
557
00:22:37,509 --> 00:22:39,908
If you think about it,
it's kind of the epitome
558
00:22:39,933 --> 00:22:41,595
of Southern California pastiche.
559
00:22:41,620 --> 00:22:43,720
A chain hotel with vaguely French decor,
560
00:22:43,722 --> 00:22:46,623
and Italian food is
being served tapas-style
561
00:22:46,625 --> 00:22:48,825
while a Filipino girl
is marrying a Jewish guy,
562
00:22:48,827 --> 00:22:52,462
all with a lightly Arabian
nights-style wedding.
563
00:22:52,464 --> 00:22:56,066
What was this Pinterest board
called: Ironic juxtaposition?
564
00:22:56,068 --> 00:22:58,101
I like that kind of mélange.
565
00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:00,036
We're way too sober for this wedding.
566
00:23:00,038 --> 00:23:01,871
How about I get us some shots?
567
00:23:01,873 --> 00:23:03,740
- Okay.
- Okay. Hold on.
568
00:23:03,742 --> 00:23:06,309
Okay. Shots. I mean, I
could also go for champagne,
569
00:23:06,311 --> 00:23:08,127
but shots are funny, too. Okay.
570
00:23:08,152 --> 00:23:09,851
I love this.
571
00:23:10,123 --> 00:23:12,157
A chain hotel with French decor
572
00:23:12,182 --> 00:23:14,115
and Italian food served tapas-style
573
00:23:14,140 --> 00:23:16,440
while a Filipino girl
marries a Jewish guy
574
00:23:16,465 --> 00:23:18,822
in a lightly Arabian
nights-style wedding.
575
00:23:19,224 --> 00:23:20,991
It is so romantic.
576
00:23:20,993 --> 00:23:22,650
Sure we're supposed to
be wearing tuxes, dude?
577
00:23:22,828 --> 00:23:25,428
We are here to celebrate love,
578
00:23:25,658 --> 00:23:28,531
and we're gonna do that
at a ten, am I right?
579
00:23:28,533 --> 00:23:30,500
- Yeah. Yeah!
- Mm-hmm.
580
00:23:30,502 --> 00:23:31,916
Yeah. We're fancy.
581
00:23:31,941 --> 00:23:34,074
Deal with it.
582
00:23:38,010 --> 00:23:39,209
Hey.
583
00:23:39,211 --> 00:23:40,477
Hey.
584
00:23:40,658 --> 00:23:42,204
Wow.
585
00:23:42,650 --> 00:23:43,939
Look at you.
586
00:23:43,964 --> 00:23:46,598
Oh, yeah. I don't know. Do
you think it's a bit much?
587
00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:48,858
No. You look amazing.
588
00:23:50,172 --> 00:23:51,916
Like a princess.
589
00:23:54,517 --> 00:23:56,711
Look, this is none of my business,
590
00:23:56,736 --> 00:23:58,061
but I have to say something.
591
00:23:58,063 --> 00:24:00,430
If you get mad at me, I understand.
592
00:24:00,432 --> 00:24:01,931
Okay.
593
00:24:01,933 --> 00:24:04,167
Are you sure Greg is what you want?
594
00:24:04,169 --> 00:24:05,502
I mean, he's so sarcastic
595
00:24:05,504 --> 00:24:07,604
and dark, and you're not that.
596
00:24:07,606 --> 00:24:08,666
You're sweet.
597
00:24:08,691 --> 00:24:10,473
Um, Josh...
598
00:24:10,475 --> 00:24:12,642
I'm just afraid you're
going to get hurt.
599
00:24:12,644 --> 00:24:14,077
I've known Greg since I was five,
600
00:24:14,079 --> 00:24:16,513
and I love the dude,
but he's complicated.
601
00:24:16,515 --> 00:24:18,214
He quits on things as
soon as they get hard.
602
00:24:18,216 --> 00:24:20,116
Did you know he wanted to be
603
00:24:20,118 --> 00:24:21,361
a professional dodge ball player?
604
00:24:21,386 --> 00:24:23,920
And then we're not even allowed
to ask him about that now.
605
00:24:26,404 --> 00:24:29,805
♪ ♪
606
00:24:31,324 --> 00:24:34,658
I'm just afraid there will be
a moment when he lets you down.
607
00:24:34,801 --> 00:24:36,943
He's gonna disappoint you somehow.
608
00:24:36,968 --> 00:24:38,334
I-I feel it.
609
00:24:38,336 --> 00:24:41,471
That's very sweet of you, but I'm okay.
610
00:24:41,473 --> 00:24:43,267
I'm okay. I-I know what I'm doing.
611
00:24:43,642 --> 00:24:45,002
Okay.
612
00:24:46,711 --> 00:24:49,205
- That's all I wanted to say.
- Okay.
613
00:24:56,190 --> 00:24:57,523
I'm back.
614
00:24:57,548 --> 00:25:00,082
Anything, uh, interesting
happen while I was away?
615
00:25:00,107 --> 00:25:04,738
Uh, no. As soon as they open
the ballroom, let's cut a rug?
616
00:25:04,763 --> 00:25:07,030
(Sighs) Yeah, I'm not
so much of a dancer.
617
00:25:07,032 --> 00:25:08,465
I'm more of an I-hate-dancing.
618
00:25:08,467 --> 00:25:11,134
Let's do a shot and then
let's go dance, okay?
619
00:25:11,370 --> 00:25:13,503
Okay.
620
00:25:13,878 --> 00:25:15,306
(Door opens)
621
00:25:22,127 --> 00:25:23,379
Okay, come on.
622
00:25:23,381 --> 00:25:27,317
Please? Just one? Come on.
623
00:25:27,319 --> 00:25:28,952
It'll be fun.
624
00:25:28,954 --> 00:25:30,453
Oh, that's really pretty.
625
00:25:30,455 --> 00:25:33,289
Oh, this is so...
lovely. (Sighs heavily)
626
00:25:34,009 --> 00:25:36,360
(Sighs)
627
00:25:36,657 --> 00:25:38,090
- All right.
- Shall we?
628
00:25:38,115 --> 00:25:40,582
- You ready for this?
- I'm so ready.
629
00:25:40,999 --> 00:25:43,066
- Oh.
- And... dip.
630
00:25:43,068 --> 00:25:45,268
- And dip.
- Okay.
631
00:25:45,270 --> 00:25:46,469
- And dip.
- Okay.
632
00:25:46,471 --> 00:25:48,271
- And another dip.
- No!
633
00:25:48,273 --> 00:25:50,073
Okay. Okay. No, that's fun.
634
00:25:50,075 --> 00:25:51,741
That's really funny,
but let's dance for...
635
00:25:51,743 --> 00:25:52,976
Let's dance for real now.
636
00:25:52,978 --> 00:25:54,477
Oh, you want the real stuff?
637
00:25:54,479 --> 00:25:56,346
- I... I do.
- Oh... ss... !
638
00:25:56,348 --> 00:25:58,615
Look, I'm sizzling bacon.
639
00:25:58,617 --> 00:26:00,583
- Ss...
- I'm sorry. I...
640
00:26:00,585 --> 00:26:02,886
You know, just stop, stop, stop. I...
641
00:26:02,888 --> 00:26:05,121
Let's really dance,
dude. Please. Come on.
642
00:26:05,123 --> 00:26:06,978
Please? For me?
643
00:26:10,736 --> 00:26:13,029
Thank you. That's better.
644
00:26:13,031 --> 00:26:14,631
(Sighs)
645
00:26:17,064 --> 00:26:20,236
Look, there's been something
I want to say to you tonight.
646
00:26:21,187 --> 00:26:23,173
And that's...
647
00:26:23,175 --> 00:26:25,909
DJ: Ladies and gentlemen, thank
you for joining us this evening!
648
00:26:25,911 --> 00:26:27,977
It is my pleasure to introduce to you...
649
00:26:27,979 --> 00:26:30,346
Phillip and Jayma dancing
for the very first time
650
00:26:30,348 --> 00:26:32,549
- as Mr. and Mrs. Epstein!
- (Applause and cheering)
651
00:26:35,820 --> 00:26:37,987
(Upbeat big band song playing)
652
00:26:43,261 --> 00:26:45,395
♪ This is a happy... ♪
653
00:26:46,245 --> 00:26:49,146
- That's so cute.
- It's so corny.
654
00:26:49,171 --> 00:26:51,209
No! It's two people in
love, and they're dancing.
655
00:26:51,234 --> 00:26:52,779
What's wrong with that?
656
00:26:52,804 --> 00:26:54,604
DJ: Now everyone please
join the bride and groom
657
00:26:54,606 --> 00:26:56,306
- on the dance floor.
- What's up with you tonight?
658
00:26:56,308 --> 00:26:57,774
You're, like, extra
snarky for no reason.
659
00:26:58,343 --> 00:27:00,246
Guess I'm just a bad boy.
660
00:27:00,414 --> 00:27:02,745
- ♪ This is the moment... ♪
- What?
661
00:27:02,747 --> 00:27:04,814
(Sighs)
662
00:27:04,816 --> 00:27:07,383
Yeah, I'm sorry. I-I'm...
I'm-I'm trying...
663
00:27:07,385 --> 00:27:08,885
What are you trying to do?
664
00:27:08,887 --> 00:27:10,186
What... what is all this?
665
00:27:10,188 --> 00:27:11,554
You know what? You're right.
666
00:27:12,765 --> 00:27:14,390
Let's dance for real.
667
00:27:14,392 --> 00:27:16,234
- Let's show off your dress. Come on.
- Oh.
668
00:27:16,761 --> 00:27:21,497
♪ This is the day for you and I... ♪
669
00:27:23,671 --> 00:27:26,765
DJ: And now the groomsmen have a
surprise for the special couple.
670
00:27:27,072 --> 00:27:28,838
- There's a lot of events.
- (Sighs)
671
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,841
(Rhythmic percussion playing)
672
00:27:31,843 --> 00:27:33,876
What is this? Oh, my God.
673
00:27:33,878 --> 00:27:37,347
(Instrumental dance song with
middle eastern flavor plays)
674
00:27:38,350 --> 00:27:40,149
How funny is this?
675
00:27:40,151 --> 00:27:42,285
It's really funny.
676
00:27:42,287 --> 00:27:44,420
(Laughs)
677
00:27:58,386 --> 00:28:01,320
Sorry. Tell Janice I'm sorry.
678
00:28:10,164 --> 00:28:12,015
Hey, multiple Aladdins!
679
00:28:12,499 --> 00:28:14,350
You're not really hovering!
680
00:28:14,352 --> 00:28:15,914
I can see your wheels!
681
00:28:46,374 --> 00:28:49,014
Hoverboard dancing is not dancing.
682
00:28:49,039 --> 00:28:51,840
- Their feet are frozen.
- Mm-hmm.
683
00:28:51,842 --> 00:28:55,677
You take the board away, mainly
what they're doing is leaning.
684
00:28:55,679 --> 00:28:58,380
It's synch... it's
synchronized leaning, basically.
685
00:28:58,382 --> 00:28:59,915
Yeah, well, you couldn't do it.
686
00:28:59,917 --> 00:29:02,384
Yeah, well, I couldn't
shake your hand with my foot,
687
00:29:02,386 --> 00:29:04,286
or... but you don't want that.
688
00:29:05,687 --> 00:29:07,689
You're not really making a lot of sense.
689
00:29:07,691 --> 00:29:10,718
- Amn't I?
- No. You am not.
690
00:29:11,367 --> 00:29:13,362
What is going on with you, dude?
691
00:29:13,364 --> 00:29:14,763
What does that mean?
692
00:29:15,179 --> 00:29:17,032
Well, your date is
over there by herself,
693
00:29:17,057 --> 00:29:20,959
and you're here by yourself
getting, like, plowed.
694
00:29:22,726 --> 00:29:24,740
Okay. (Doorbell rings)
695
00:29:24,742 --> 00:29:26,108
(Sighs)
696
00:29:26,110 --> 00:29:27,709
Put on some kind of dress.
697
00:29:27,711 --> 00:29:29,411
- What?!
- We're going to a wedding.
698
00:29:29,413 --> 00:29:30,612
Have you lost your mind?
699
00:29:30,614 --> 00:29:33,448
Rebecca is sad. She needs you.
700
00:29:33,450 --> 00:29:36,646
We're not friends anymore, okay?
And it's her fault. All right.
701
00:29:36,648 --> 00:29:38,264
I did everything for her.
702
00:29:38,289 --> 00:29:40,984
I gave her the best advice,
and she chose to ignore it.
703
00:29:41,125 --> 00:29:43,025
So, I mean, I was the great friend.
704
00:29:43,027 --> 00:29:44,359
Oh, my God, are you serious?
705
00:29:44,361 --> 00:29:45,727
You think that's what a friend is?
706
00:29:45,729 --> 00:29:47,062
Someone who tells you what to do?
707
00:29:47,064 --> 00:29:48,664
That is not friendship.
708
00:29:48,666 --> 00:29:49,765
I'd never do that to you.
709
00:29:49,767 --> 00:29:52,234
And, Paula, you and I are best friends!
710
00:29:52,282 --> 00:29:54,045
- (Laughs)
- What?
711
00:29:54,609 --> 00:29:56,672
Oh, yeah. No. Yes, we are.
712
00:29:56,674 --> 00:29:58,006
Yes, we are.
713
00:29:58,008 --> 00:29:59,908
Now go get your dress
on and let's boogie.
714
00:29:59,910 --> 00:30:01,944
(Sighs)
715
00:30:01,946 --> 00:30:04,079
(Crowd chatter)
716
00:30:06,662 --> 00:30:08,796
(Sighing)
717
00:30:14,359 --> 00:30:16,224
You're not having the
best time, are you?
718
00:30:16,296 --> 00:30:17,788
I don't know what's wrong with me.
719
00:30:19,140 --> 00:30:20,996
You're at a crossroads.
720
00:30:21,531 --> 00:30:22,828
I see that.
721
00:30:24,554 --> 00:30:26,101
And I think I can help.
722
00:30:26,570 --> 00:30:28,170
You can?
723
00:30:31,408 --> 00:30:33,242
This belonged to your grandma.
724
00:30:34,632 --> 00:30:36,781
It would be perfect on Valencia.
725
00:30:38,132 --> 00:30:39,460
Whenever you're ready.
726
00:30:40,179 --> 00:30:42,554
Wow! Tita Myrna,
727
00:30:43,765 --> 00:30:45,247
I... I don't know what to say.
728
00:30:45,272 --> 00:30:47,156
It's nice of you to...
729
00:30:56,952 --> 00:31:00,210
Wait. Did Valencia put you up to this?
730
00:31:09,898 --> 00:31:11,598
I am so sorry.
731
00:31:11,623 --> 00:31:13,248
- I am so sorry.
- No, I am so sorry.
732
00:31:13,250 --> 00:31:15,050
- This is all my fault.
- It's all my fault.
733
00:31:15,052 --> 00:31:16,114
No, I wanted to tell you
about Greg so many times.
734
00:31:16,139 --> 00:31:17,152
I should have been a better friend.
735
00:31:17,154 --> 00:31:18,820
- I was racked with guilt.
- I should have just listened to you.
736
00:31:18,822 --> 00:31:20,455
- Every time I saw you, I wanted to tell
you everything. - And I felt so bad.
737
00:31:20,457 --> 00:31:21,957
Every time I saw your name,
I wanted to pick up the phone.
738
00:31:21,959 --> 00:31:23,291
- I've been having so much sex.
- You look like a princess.
739
00:31:23,293 --> 00:31:24,912
- Oh, my God, you look like a princess.
- You look beautiful.
740
00:31:24,937 --> 00:31:26,068
You look like a sea
princess and you're, like,
741
00:31:26,093 --> 00:31:27,062
- wearing a necklace with crabs.
- I feel so bad.
742
00:31:27,064 --> 00:31:28,263
And I wish I'd been with you
to buy that crab necklace.
743
00:31:28,265 --> 00:31:30,098
- I should have been better.
- You're my daughter,
744
00:31:30,100 --> 00:31:31,144
and I should have
been a better mother.
745
00:31:31,169 --> 00:31:32,267
Oh, my God, I feel
like you're my Mom.
746
00:31:32,269 --> 00:31:34,336
So I just thought this was
gonna be mine and Greg's
747
00:31:34,338 --> 00:31:35,604
romantic evening, and, oh, I'm sorry.
748
00:31:35,606 --> 00:31:37,609
I know you don't want
to hear about this.
749
00:31:37,634 --> 00:31:41,269
Hey, I'm not telling you what to
do anymore. I am done with that.
750
00:31:42,070 --> 00:31:44,179
But if you really like Greg,
you should tell him right away.
751
00:31:44,181 --> 00:31:45,414
I mean, don't waste a single second.
752
00:31:45,416 --> 00:31:46,848
I'm sorry, that was advice-y.
753
00:31:46,850 --> 00:31:48,640
No, it's okay, I liked it.
754
00:31:49,522 --> 00:31:50,811
Thank you.
755
00:31:52,790 --> 00:31:54,322
I love you, Paula.
756
00:31:54,324 --> 00:31:55,828
I love you, too.
757
00:31:57,294 --> 00:31:58,694
Okay, you called my aunt
758
00:31:58,696 --> 00:32:00,862
and asked her to bring a family heirloom
759
00:32:00,864 --> 00:32:03,465
to my sister's wedding
without asking me?
760
00:32:03,467 --> 00:32:06,034
Well, I knew she had it and
would love to give it to us
761
00:32:06,036 --> 00:32:08,503
and I wanted to get it
before your cousin Ruby.
762
00:32:08,505 --> 00:32:10,806
Oh, my God, Valencia!
763
00:32:10,808 --> 00:32:12,641
You didn't have any faith in me.
764
00:32:12,643 --> 00:32:15,414
Y-you couldn't trust
me with this one thing.
765
00:32:15,612 --> 00:32:17,713
I just asked for a
little time, that's all.
766
00:32:17,715 --> 00:32:18,947
A little time, I see.
767
00:32:18,949 --> 00:32:21,116
Because 15 years isn't enough time.
768
00:32:21,118 --> 00:32:23,785
I was looking. For rings.
769
00:32:23,787 --> 00:32:25,087
And did you buy one?
770
00:32:27,057 --> 00:32:29,925
You know what, I have been patient.
771
00:32:29,927 --> 00:32:32,561
I have been patient through
college and through New York
772
00:32:32,563 --> 00:32:35,230
and through all of our
friends getting engaged
773
00:32:35,232 --> 00:32:36,932
and married and I was patient
774
00:32:36,934 --> 00:32:39,034
when you cheated on me with Rebecca.
775
00:32:40,828 --> 00:32:43,338
The reason I asked for that
ring is because, deep down,
776
00:32:43,340 --> 00:32:45,210
I didn't believe you were gonna do it.
777
00:32:46,150 --> 00:32:47,883
Were you going to?
778
00:32:49,553 --> 00:32:51,046
You have a ring.
779
00:32:51,867 --> 00:32:53,548
In your hand.
780
00:32:53,804 --> 00:32:55,817
You said that you were
ready for the next step,
781
00:32:55,819 --> 00:32:57,552
so let's do it.
782
00:32:57,773 --> 00:33:00,088
Let's take that ring and
get up on the bandstand
783
00:33:00,090 --> 00:33:03,024
and steal some wedding thunder
and get engaged right now.
784
00:33:03,026 --> 00:33:04,860
(Scoffs)
785
00:33:05,369 --> 00:33:06,640
You're not listening to me.
786
00:33:10,148 --> 00:33:12,101
You never listen to me. You...
787
00:33:12,770 --> 00:33:14,726
You pretend to, but...
788
00:33:16,073 --> 00:33:17,203
You never do.
789
00:33:17,845 --> 00:33:19,335
You know,
790
00:33:20,281 --> 00:33:21,476
for the last few months
791
00:33:21,478 --> 00:33:24,156
I thought Rebecca Bunch was our problem.
792
00:33:24,492 --> 00:33:25,601
But it's not.
793
00:33:26,573 --> 00:33:28,273
It's you.
794
00:33:29,635 --> 00:33:33,156
I'm done, Josh. We're over. For good.
795
00:33:37,427 --> 00:33:40,128
Hey. Hey, I want to talk to you.
796
00:33:40,264 --> 00:33:41,406
So...
797
00:33:42,976 --> 00:33:45,700
Tonight's gotten... Pretty off track.
798
00:33:46,921 --> 00:33:49,404
Like, this isn't us.
This isn't how we are.
799
00:33:49,406 --> 00:33:52,289
And... and I think it's my fault.
800
00:33:52,543 --> 00:33:54,676
Yeah, because I had an artificial view
801
00:33:54,678 --> 00:33:56,545
of how I wanted this night to go.
802
00:33:56,547 --> 00:33:59,842
No, it's my fault. It's
my fault. It's my fault.
803
00:33:59,867 --> 00:34:01,449
I should not have worn sneakers tonight.
804
00:34:01,451 --> 00:34:04,560
Justin Timberlake wore
sneakers with a suit
805
00:34:04,585 --> 00:34:07,052
and I thought I was
cool, but I'm no JTimbo.
806
00:34:08,992 --> 00:34:11,031
You're hilariously wasted.
807
00:34:12,218 --> 00:34:13,195
I know
808
00:34:13,197 --> 00:34:14,718
what you want to say to me.
809
00:34:15,543 --> 00:34:17,710
You want to break up with me.
810
00:34:25,350 --> 00:34:27,193
Break up with you? Oh, my...
811
00:34:28,086 --> 00:34:29,819
No. Greg, okay.
812
00:34:30,662 --> 00:34:31,888
Listen...
813
00:34:32,857 --> 00:34:36,467
This, like, this emotion
stuff can be scary.
814
00:34:37,318 --> 00:34:39,098
My parents split up when I was little,
815
00:34:39,123 --> 00:34:41,842
your Mom left, we don't have
the greatest role models here.
816
00:34:42,881 --> 00:34:45,340
But... there's been something
817
00:34:45,365 --> 00:34:47,342
I've been wanting to tell you all night.
818
00:34:47,678 --> 00:34:50,684
And... even though it
scares me to death,
819
00:34:50,709 --> 00:34:52,160
I'm gonna be brave.
820
00:34:53,380 --> 00:34:54,550
So, uh,
821
00:34:55,256 --> 00:34:57,747
even though we've only
been seeing each other
822
00:34:57,749 --> 00:34:59,716
for a short time...
823
00:35:00,420 --> 00:35:01,618
I, um...
824
00:35:02,623 --> 00:35:04,053
I care about you.
825
00:35:05,140 --> 00:35:07,342
Like, a lot.
826
00:35:18,256 --> 00:35:19,537
So, tell me...
827
00:35:19,562 --> 00:35:22,805
Tell me how you feel. If
you have any feelings. And...
828
00:35:23,537 --> 00:35:25,621
I don't care how you
tell me, Greg, okay?
829
00:35:25,646 --> 00:35:27,881
I don't care if you fart
while you're saying it,
830
00:35:27,906 --> 00:35:29,639
just please tell me.
831
00:35:39,467 --> 00:35:41,701
Can you say something?
832
00:35:42,404 --> 00:35:43,303
Okay.
833
00:35:43,305 --> 00:35:46,224
I... think...
834
00:35:48,007 --> 00:35:49,123
... you're cool.
835
00:35:50,071 --> 00:35:51,497
You...
836
00:35:52,714 --> 00:35:54,747
Sorry, after, like,
everything we've been through,
837
00:35:54,749 --> 00:35:56,670
you just, you just think I'm cool?
838
00:35:57,034 --> 00:35:58,872
Yeah. I think...
839
00:35:59,454 --> 00:36:01,588
We have fun together, yeah.
840
00:36:01,590 --> 00:36:02,678
But let's not...
841
00:36:04,125 --> 00:36:05,974
Like, plan out our future.
842
00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:09,006
Let's just focus on, um...
843
00:36:09,586 --> 00:36:11,753
On tonight and have fun, okay?
844
00:36:12,706 --> 00:36:13,951
Wait, what?
845
00:36:18,193 --> 00:36:20,639
Uh, but right now I, um...
846
00:36:21,786 --> 00:36:24,854
I need to... I need to take
a... I need to take a nap.
847
00:36:25,647 --> 00:36:26,701
Greg?
848
00:36:28,857 --> 00:36:32,051
Greg? Hey. Hey, Greg?
849
00:36:32,053 --> 00:36:34,771
Ah, yes, the classic Serrano pass-out.
850
00:36:34,796 --> 00:36:36,663
I'll get him an Uber.
851
00:36:36,925 --> 00:36:38,391
Um, yeah, and I'll go with you.
852
00:36:38,393 --> 00:36:40,426
No, you will not. You stay
here. You don't want to see
853
00:36:40,428 --> 00:36:41,794
what's on the other side of this.
854
00:36:41,975 --> 00:36:43,802
War movie.
855
00:36:45,294 --> 00:36:47,627
I'm sorry he blew it.
856
00:36:48,459 --> 00:36:49,818
I know that he cares, but...
857
00:36:50,730 --> 00:36:53,264
It's Greg, it's just who he is.
858
00:37:00,232 --> 00:37:02,849
Hey, everybody, time to get inside.
859
00:37:02,851 --> 00:37:04,217
Aunt Myrna's going to sing.
860
00:37:04,219 --> 00:37:05,318
(Applause)
861
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:09,422
DJ: Ladies and gentlemen, Aunt Myrna.
862
00:37:10,763 --> 00:37:13,746
Oh, my gosh. Oh, hello, everyone.
863
00:37:13,771 --> 00:37:15,662
I would like to dedicate this song
864
00:37:15,664 --> 00:37:16,996
to Jayma
865
00:37:16,998 --> 00:37:19,299
and Phillip. You may
already know this one.
866
00:37:19,301 --> 00:37:23,169
I sang this on Star Search in 1984
867
00:37:23,818 --> 00:37:26,162
and I got 3 3/4 stars.
868
00:37:26,761 --> 00:37:29,099
She's just the worst.
869
00:37:31,678 --> 00:37:34,551
♪ In one indescribable ♪
870
00:37:34,576 --> 00:37:36,458
♪ instant ♪
871
00:37:36,483 --> 00:37:38,216
♪ the whole world ♪
872
00:37:38,218 --> 00:37:40,885
♪ falls away ♪
873
00:37:40,887 --> 00:37:43,254
♪ in one ♪
874
00:37:43,256 --> 00:37:46,654
♪ indescribable instant ♪
875
00:37:46,722 --> 00:37:48,637
♪ you'll know just ♪
876
00:37:48,662 --> 00:37:51,629
♪ what to say ♪
877
00:37:51,631 --> 00:37:52,830
♪ in one ♪
878
00:37:52,832 --> 00:37:56,668
♪ indescribable instant ♪
879
00:37:56,670 --> 00:37:58,169
♪ your heart ♪
880
00:37:58,171 --> 00:38:01,205
♪ will speak the truth ♪
881
00:38:01,207 --> 00:38:02,407
♪ 'cause in that ♪
882
00:38:02,409 --> 00:38:04,642
♪ one indescribable ♪
883
00:38:04,644 --> 00:38:06,631
♪ magical, mystical ♪
884
00:38:06,656 --> 00:38:08,656
♪ endless, incredible ♪
885
00:38:08,681 --> 00:38:10,948
♪ instant ♪
886
00:38:11,124 --> 00:38:12,857
♪ the only words ♪
887
00:38:12,882 --> 00:38:15,201
♪ you'll need are ♪
888
00:38:15,226 --> 00:38:20,943
♪ "I love you" ♪
889
00:38:23,839 --> 00:38:25,732
♪ ♪
890
00:38:25,756 --> 00:38:27,756
_
891
00:38:45,452 --> 00:38:47,985
Come with me.
892
00:38:57,700 --> 00:38:59,125
It's over.
893
00:38:59,346 --> 00:39:00,845
What?
894
00:39:00,870 --> 00:39:03,371
Rebecca, Valencia and I are done.
895
00:39:05,723 --> 00:39:09,397
Becks, I have tried
not to think about you.
896
00:39:09,422 --> 00:39:10,922
I have.
897
00:39:11,034 --> 00:39:13,101
You have no idea how hard I've tried.
898
00:39:13,126 --> 00:39:15,059
Just, no matter what I do...
899
00:39:15,968 --> 00:39:17,867
I feel you with me.
900
00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:22,458
(Gasps)
901
00:39:23,321 --> 00:39:25,701
Oh, my God, it's my letter from camp.
902
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,248
You keep this with
you, like, all the time?
903
00:39:30,273 --> 00:39:32,435
Look, I know you're with Greg, but...
904
00:39:32,475 --> 00:39:33,553
Stop.
905
00:39:42,272 --> 00:39:44,539
♪ In one indescribable ♪
906
00:39:44,541 --> 00:39:47,509
♪ instant ♪
907
00:39:47,511 --> 00:39:49,511
♪ there is no time ♪
908
00:39:49,513 --> 00:39:51,847
♪ or space ♪
909
00:39:51,849 --> 00:39:55,417
♪ in one indescribable ♪
910
00:39:55,419 --> 00:39:57,252
♪ instant ♪
911
00:39:57,254 --> 00:40:01,256
♪ it all falls into place ♪
912
00:40:01,258 --> 00:40:04,759
♪ in one indescribable ♪
913
00:40:04,761 --> 00:40:06,328
♪ instant ♪
914
00:40:06,330 --> 00:40:08,163
♪ your dreams ♪
915
00:40:08,165 --> 00:40:11,166
♪ will all come true ♪
916
00:40:11,168 --> 00:40:12,667
♪ 'cause in that ♪
917
00:40:12,669 --> 00:40:15,036
♪ one indescribable ♪
918
00:40:15,038 --> 00:40:17,272
♪ magical, mystical ♪
919
00:40:17,274 --> 00:40:19,708
♪ endless, incredible ♪
920
00:40:19,710 --> 00:40:21,176
♪ barely believable ♪
921
00:40:21,178 --> 00:40:24,246
♪ truly unlikely ♪
922
00:40:24,248 --> 00:40:27,415
♪ but not inconceivable ♪
923
00:40:27,417 --> 00:40:29,918
♪ what, are you kidding me ♪
924
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,320
♪ no, it's for realable ♪
925
00:40:32,322 --> 00:40:35,756
♪ instant ♪
926
00:40:37,045 --> 00:40:39,060
♪ the only words ♪
927
00:40:39,062 --> 00:40:41,329
♪ you'll need are ♪
928
00:40:42,404 --> 00:40:45,470
♪ "I love ♪
929
00:40:46,021 --> 00:40:59,084
♪ you... " ♪
930
00:40:59,383 --> 00:41:01,006
(Song ends)
931
00:41:02,293 --> 00:41:04,115
I love you, Rebecca.
932
00:41:05,391 --> 00:41:07,693
I should have said "I love you."
933
00:41:08,352 --> 00:41:10,419
(Retches, coughs)
934
00:41:18,506 --> 00:41:20,506
Hey, Josh?
935
00:41:20,531 --> 00:41:22,092
(Short chuckle) Yeah, Becks?
936
00:41:22,706 --> 00:41:24,357
Can I tell you something?
937
00:41:24,918 --> 00:41:26,545
Yeah.
938
00:41:27,878 --> 00:41:29,748
I moved here for you.
939
00:41:30,650 --> 00:41:32,381
What?
940
00:41:33,317 --> 00:41:36,560
The second I saw you on the
street in New York, I knew.
941
00:41:36,853 --> 00:41:40,193
I j... I just knew you were
the answer to all my problems.
942
00:41:41,193 --> 00:41:43,124
And I lost sight of it for a minute,
943
00:41:43,126 --> 00:41:44,834
but now I know for sure.
944
00:41:46,592 --> 00:41:48,163
Mmm.
945
00:41:48,165 --> 00:41:50,209
This is our moment, Josh Chan.
946
00:41:52,102 --> 00:41:55,704
I'm so excited that our
love story can finally begin.
66524
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