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1
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,300
I love it when he plays the piano.
2
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,200
No matter how gloomy it is outside,
3
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,400
it makes everything seem
a little brighter.
4
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:25,000
I feel the same way about bacon.
5
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,300
DAPHNE:
You're so lucky to be musical.
6
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:30,200
I'd give my right hand to be able
to play the piano the way you do.
7
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,700
Hmm, sounds a bit like O. Henry
meets Stephen King.
8
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,800
But still, if you're serious,
I'd be willing to give you lessons.
9
00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,300
I'd love that.
10
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,300
I've wanted to play
ever since I was little,
11
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,700
and my family would sing rugby songs
after my brothers' matches.
12
00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:45,700
I can still see them
all muddied and bloodied,
13
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,000
belting out songs
like "The Old She-Crab"
14
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:49,700
and "I Like a Moose."
15
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,700
Once,
one of Michael's teeth fell out
16
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,000
right in the middle
of "Four Old Whores."
17
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,200
MARTIN: Hey, Fras,
how was your date last night?
18
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,800
I'm having breakfast with you.
You do the math.
19
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,200
- Ahem, coffee?
FRASIER: Please, thank you, Niles.
20
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,200
Well, here's something
that'll cheer you up.
21
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,100
Eight years ago today
I moved in with you.
22
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,000
- Eight years? Ha, ha.
MARTIN: Ha, ha.
23
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:13,300
- Are you sure?
- This is quite an anniversary.
24
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,300
You weren't even with Lilith
for eight years.
25
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,700
Please, Niles,
I hardly think it's the same thing.
26
00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:19,700
It's not that different.
If you were a woman,
27
00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:21,300
you'd be his common-law wife
by now.
28
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,500
- Oh, well, now I don't think that's...
DAPHNE: And think about this.
29
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:26,400
If that date had been
the perfect woman,
30
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:29,700
you'd still have to be with her
nine years before you overtook him.
31
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:32,400
Yes, and actually,
if you add the 18 years
32
00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:36,300
he spent at home prior to college,
well, they've been together 26 years.
33
00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:38,800
So we just missed
our silver anniversary?
34
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,400
- All right.
- Yes, but good news,
35
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,100
your 30th is pearl. Ha, ha.
36
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,400
Well, I think
it's a remarkable accomplishment.
37
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:48,200
Happy anniversary,
Dr. And Mr. Crane.
38
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,200
NILES: Yes, here, here.
- Ha, ha.
39
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:52,100
NILES:
Oh, here.
40
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,400
I'm so sorry it didn't work out
with Lucy last night.
41
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,300
But don't worry. I have tons
of other friends better than her.
42
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,200
Well,
43
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:06,500
thanks for starting at the bottom
and working your way up.
44
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,700
- Hey, Roz. Dr. Crane.
FRASIER: Oh.
45
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,400
- Hi, Daph. Hello, Dad.
- Oh, hey, Daphne.
46
00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:13,100
What, are you taking piano lessons?
47
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,800
Yeah, Niles is gonna teach me.
48
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:17,300
I'm so jealous.
I've always wanted to learn to play.
49
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,800
- Well, why don't you sit in with us?
- Really?
50
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:22,600
- Well, do you think Niles would mind?
- Of course not.
51
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,700
And even if he does,
he's so polite you'll never know.
52
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:28,400
Hi. I'd like to tell you
about our new frozen coffee drink,
53
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,800
The Caffalanche.
54
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,300
It comes in three flavours.
55
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:35,000
Frosty Coffee, So Cocoa-Cold
56
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,000
and Chilla-in-Vanilla.
57
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,000
- I'll try the So Cocoa-Cold.
FRASIER: Ha, ha.
58
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,600
Uh, black coffee, thanks.
59
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,400
- I hate what's happened to coffee.
- Dad.
60
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,300
Well, I'm just saying,
I'm a regular joe,
61
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,900
- I like my joe regular.
- I like my joe regular. I know.
62
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,400
What's wrong with plain, old coffee,
the way God made it?
63
00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:53,700
FRASIER:
Nothing.
64
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,000
What is wrong, is subjecting me
to the same shopworn bellyaching
65
00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:58,600
every time you come in here.
66
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,200
Well, excuse me for having an opinion
you don't agree with.
67
00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:03,700
I thought this was America.
68
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,200
Oh, look, it is.
69
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,700
I'm gonna get my coffee to go.
70
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,400
That was a bit harsh, Dr. Crane.
71
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:14,100
Eight years of the same complaints
72
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:16,000
about the same things
in the same places.
73
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:19,200
And I'll say, sometimes I think
he does it just to antagonize me.
74
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,500
Just like an old married couple.
75
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:23,900
It's cute, isn't it?
76
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,400
Well, I got my black coffee.
77
00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:28,000
Of course, it was more expensive
than a whole meal used to be.
78
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:31,600
Time was, you could get two eggs,
potatoes, choice of breakfast meat...
79
00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:34,600
And still get change back
from the nickel.
80
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,600
Will you just take your coffee.
81
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,700
See how he talks to me?
82
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,900
- And on our anniversary too.
FRASIER: Oh.
83
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:48,800
NILES: Now, I want you to position
your hands over the keyboard.
84
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,500
Fingers relaxed, elbows loose.
Good.
85
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,100
Okay, and shoulders low. Good, good.
How are we doing?
86
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:57,600
- Fine.
- Okay, I guess.
87
00:03:57,900 --> 00:03:59,400
When do we get to press
on the keys?
88
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,100
Whoa, whoa.
89
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:02,500
We have a lot to learn first.
90
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,600
It could be weeks
before we press down on the keys.
91
00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,300
I want to play a song.
92
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,200
Yeah, isn't that why we're here?
93
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,200
Well, all in due time. Here, wait.
94
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,500
Just watch my hands
while I play a scale. Watch this.
95
00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:15,000
[PLAYING THE SCALE]
96
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:16,700
FRASIER:
Pardon me, Niles,
97
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:18,700
there was a programme
I planned on watching.
98
00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:21,400
Oh, of course. Uh, we'll continue
the lesson in Daphne's room.
99
00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:23,300
How can we learn without a piano?
100
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:27,500
With these workbooks
and a box of adhesive stars.
101
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,000
MAN [ON TV]:
It would seem as though...
102
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:37,000
Brr, that guy sure looks cold.
103
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:39,600
What are we watching?
104
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,900
I'm watching Lost on a Mountain.
105
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:45,200
Ah...
106
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,400
It is not remarkable that Everest...
107
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:50,200
That the mountain?
108
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,800
Yes.
109
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,900
Well, they sure don't look lost.
110
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,700
That's the search party.
111
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,400
Oh.
112
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,400
So who's lost?
113
00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:08,500
Apparently you are.
114
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,900
If you don't stop interrupting,
I will be too.
115
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,700
- nine climbersfrom four different countries
116
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,700
have come to the summit.
117
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:29,400
They knew an approaching stormmight well hamper their efforts,
118
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:32,300
but were determinedto press forward nonetheless.
119
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,600
[MUMBLES]
Pretzel?
120
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:42,100
[CHAIR SCREECHES]
121
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,800
- Do you mind?
- [MUMBLES] I'm sorry.
122
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,500
- but ascending Everestis only half the journey.
123
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:51,900
The journeyback down the mountain...
124
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:55,400
[CHAIR SCREECHES]
125
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:02,600
[CHAIR SCREECHES]
126
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:06,700
[CHAIR SCREECHES]
127
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,500
Still, he felt he had little choicebut to participate in the effort.
128
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,500
Oh, that's it, Dad!
129
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:23,000
Is there nothing you do
that doesn't create some cacophony?
130
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,800
Well, I didn't do it on purpose.
I was trying to be considerate.
131
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,900
If you were,
you would have oiled that chair
132
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,700
when it began squeaking
five years ago.
133
00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:32,800
Boy, I don't know what's got into you
but you've been a real jerk lately.
134
00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:34,500
You should watch TV
somewhere else.
135
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,800
I should go elsewhere? I?
136
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,100
Just what do you suggest?
137
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,700
That I find, uh, a documentary bar
and watch it on their big screen?
138
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,100
You know what?
I am just going to go take a talk.
139
00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:49,100
Leave you with the television.
140
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:50,500
You enjoy yourself.
141
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:53,000
Good day.
142
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:56,900
[DOOR SLAMS]
143
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:02,500
I wish you would stop
hanging your coat on my peg!
144
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,200
NILES: Dad?
MARTIN: Down here.
145
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,400
Oh, my God, Dad.
146
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:11,000
Oh, I thought you'd capsized.
147
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,800
No, I was oiling my chair.
148
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,400
The squeaking was bugging Frasier.
149
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:17,700
[NILES GASPS]
150
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,200
The carpet is a whole shade lighter
under there.
151
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,800
Oh. Except for those little black dots
you just made.
152
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:24,200
Oh, shoot.
153
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,800
- I better get a towel.
- I'll get it.
154
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:28,100
No, it's all right. I'll get it. Oh!
155
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,300
- Oh, my God.
- Ah! I'll get something
156
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:32,400
to pick up the grease
and clean it up.
157
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,200
MARTIN:
Oh, my God.
158
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:36,500
What the hell's happened?
159
00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:38,600
Now, don't get upset.
I was oiling my chair,
160
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:41,100
trying to get rid of the squeak,
and I had a little spill.
161
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,500
Little spill?
I just had this carpet cleaned!
162
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:47,100
- I'm sorry, it was an accident.
- Sure, Dad. It was an accident.
163
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,000
It was an accident.
I saw him step on it.
164
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:51,700
Niles, you know as well as I do,
there are no accidents.
165
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,400
Just admit it, Dad.
166
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,900
Your hostility toward me
has been building through the years,
167
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:59,400
little by little, until you have
finally struck the Achilles' heel
168
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:02,300
of my d�cor, the Berber carpet.
169
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:05,500
I did not do this on purpose.
170
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:09,400
No? Then I suggest you dig deep
into the twisted caves
171
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:10,900
of your subconscious,
172
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:12,600
where malicious acts abide,
173
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,300
clothed in the robes
of plausible excuses!
174
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,700
[SHOUTS] For the last time,
this was not malicious!
175
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000
It was an accident!
176
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,500
- I don't think you know the difference!
- Yes, I do!
177
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,500
That was an accident!
178
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:26,200
This is malicious!
179
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,000
NILES:
What colour is the new carpet?
180
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:39,800
I'm going up a shade
to harvest wheat.
181
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,700
I thought the next shade up
was buff.
182
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,700
It used to be but they've discovered
a whole new colour in between.
183
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,900
So now it's tofu, putty, oatmeal,
184
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,200
- almond,
- almond,
185
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,100
- harvest wheat,
- harvest wheat,
186
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,200
- and buff.
- Buff.
187
00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:58,300
That's going to be hard
to get used to.
188
00:08:58,500 --> 00:08:59,700
Hmm.
189
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:01,000
Where's Daphne?
190
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:02,800
Oh, she's out
taking a walk with Dad.
191
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:05,000
An extra-long walk.
192
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,900
Things have been a little tense
around here
193
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,500
since the quote-unquote accident.
194
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:10,700
It was an accident.
195
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,200
Well, maybe.
196
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,300
But don't you think the man
should work
197
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:17,000
on some of his unresolved anger
toward me?
198
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:19,300
NILES:
If you're asking me to choose sides,
199
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,800
I'm not going to do it.
200
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:25,400
The man just brings such hostility
into the room.
201
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:27,500
[FRASIER SIGHS]
202
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,600
Thank you.
203
00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:31,800
You know,
I've been thinking of, uh,
204
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,700
sending him someplace.
205
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,800
Like to a resort?
206
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:38,800
Like to live with you.
207
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,000
Oh, yes, the last resort.
208
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,100
Making Dad move
does not solve your problem,
209
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:46,300
it simply avoids it.
210
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:49,100
Don't start preaching to me.
You've been avoiding him eight years.
211
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,100
- I refuse to discuss this.
- And I refuse your refusal.
212
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,400
Is something burning?
213
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:56,500
- It smells like it.
- Are you cooking?
214
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,900
And what is that supposed to mean?
215
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,800
Oh, dear God, the chair!
216
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:04,600
Oh, my God! Oh, here, Niles,
Niles, hand me this drop cloth here.
217
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:07,200
- I'll smother it.
- All right, all right now, be careful.
218
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,500
NILES: Quickly, quickly.
- Yeah, all right. Just...
219
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,300
- Oh, look out below!
- Look out!
220
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,200
- My God!
- Dr. Crane's moods
221
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:17,400
never last long.
I'm sure we've seen the worst of it.
222
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,800
- What do we do? What do we say?
- All right, calm down.
223
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,800
The important thing is
it didn't hit anyone.
224
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,000
At least we have that.
But how do we explain this?
225
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,000
We just tell them what happened
as clearly and rationally as possible.
226
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,900
Right, right. Rational.
227
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:39,500
[SHOUTS] Oh, my God,
did you feel that earthquake?
228
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,100
[SHOUTS]
What the hell happened?
229
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:44,300
- Where's Daphne?
- She's down cleaning up the mess!
230
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:46,200
Dad, I can explain.
231
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,200
You threw my chair off the balcony?
232
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:50,000
I'm so sorry. Just hear me out.
233
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,700
- You crazy?
- I didn't mean to.
234
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,400
Forget what it means to me,
you could've killed someone.
235
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:58,800
- It was an accident!
- You said there are no accidents!
236
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,200
Clearly I was wrong.
237
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,200
I mean,
why on earth would I do such a thing?
238
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:06,600
Because you've always been gunning
for that chair.
239
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:10,800
I accidentally stain your carpet
240
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:14,100
and you set fire to the one thing
in this apartment I care about
241
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,000
and heave it out into the street!
242
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,400
Dad, I am so sorry.
243
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:20,600
I didn't mean to.
244
00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:21,900
Please, forgive me.
245
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:24,500
- I'll buy you another chair.
- Ah, don't do me any favours.
246
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:25,800
Please, Dad.
247
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,000
I know you're angry right now
and that's normal.
248
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,700
The healthiest thing you can do...
249
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,800
Wanna know the healthiest thing
you can do?
250
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,400
Shut my yap?
251
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:34,700
Bingo!
252
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,400
NILES:
Yes. Yes.
253
00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:44,600
Yes. No.
254
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,200
I don't like this exercise.
255
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,400
- It's too hard.
- No, no, no, you're doing fine.
256
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:50,300
You just have to loosen up.
I'll show you.
257
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:53,900
See?
It's just a little finger exercise.
258
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:58,200
- I know another little finger exercise.
- Ha, ha.
259
00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,900
Daphne, you're not paying attention.
260
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,500
Oh, yes, I am.
261
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,900
Why don't we just cancel the lesson
and spend the day together?
262
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,800
[STAMMERS] What kind of teacher
would I be if I did that?
263
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,600
Oh, that's right.
264
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:11,000
You're the teacher
265
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:15,100
and I'm the naughty student
who wouldn't do her homework.
266
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:23,800
[DOORBELL RINGS]
267
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:27,100
Oh, that'll be Roz.
268
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:29,600
[NILES SIGHS]
269
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,500
Could you get that?
270
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,200
DAPHNE: Hey, Roz.
- Hey, Daphne.
271
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,600
- Hey, Roz. How'd it go this week?
ROZ: Niles.
272
00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:46,500
Okay, I guess.
273
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,500
- But those exercises aren't easy.
- See?
274
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,500
All right, look, if I'm going too fast,
we'll make some adjustments.
275
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:56,600
I guess just do the best you can.
276
00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:58,600
[ROZ SIGHS]
277
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,300
[ROZ CLEARS THROAT]
278
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,100
- That's great!
- Ow.
279
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,700
NILES: All right, do it again.
ROZ: Ahem.
280
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:18,400
You see, Daphne, that's a song.
281
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,800
You said we weren't going
to be playing songs.
282
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,200
Wait, wait, now go down.
283
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,400
Yes, good.
284
00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:29,600
Oh, my God, this is so cool.
285
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,000
I want to play a song.
286
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,400
NILES:
Well...
287
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:35,000
And you will, Daphne,
as soon as you master your exercises.
288
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:38,000
You know, why don't you try playing
along on your practise pad?
289
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,300
Oh, shoot.
290
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,000
Hello, Niles.
291
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,400
Hey, Dad.
Um, taking Eddie for a walk?
292
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,500
Yeah, I was afraid if I left him home,
293
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:05,300
Frasier would set him on fire
and throw him off the balcony.
294
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,600
You see what I'm putting up with?
295
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:11,000
- Are you gonna let this go on forever?
- Me?
296
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,300
He keeps insisting
I was lashing out deliberately,
297
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,300
which I was not, although God knows
it would've been justified.
298
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,600
What, because of the oil?
299
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:22,500
This is a lot deeper and a lot darker
than oil and you know it.
300
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:24,700
The man will not get off my back.
301
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:27,300
Seems to me you've been giving
as good as you've been getting.
302
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,500
Please.
Ever since our so-called anniversary,
303
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,600
- he keeps insisting on...
NILES: Whoa, whoa,
304
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,700
what does your anniversary
have to do with this?
305
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,900
I guess it just set me off.
306
00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:42,200
It was as though everyone was saying
that the only significant relationship
307
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,500
I'll ever have again is with my father.
308
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,400
So you're not mad at Dad.
309
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,800
You're just mad he isn't a woman.
310
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:54,200
Well, I got my coffee. Nothing fancy.
311
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,700
But if you don't like it,
you're welcome to set it on fire
312
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,600
and throw it off the balcony.
313
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,000
- Bye, Niles.
- No, wait, Dad.
314
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,100
Frasier just said something
very interesting to me...
315
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,700
- Niles.
- I think you should hear.
316
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,900
- Niles.
- Please, let me help you through this.
317
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,400
Don't forget, I've done my share
of couples counselling.
318
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,700
[SHOUTS]
We are not a couple!
319
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:16,600
I'm sorry, I only meant
that I am an experienced mediator.
320
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,600
Now, Frasier,
tell Dad what you were just telling me.
321
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:25,100
All right.
322
00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:29,500
I think...
323
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:32,800
...that anniversary talk...
324
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,300
...stirred up some issues for me.
325
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:41,800
That our relationship
is the only one I'll ever have.
326
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:45,200
That for all intents and purposes,
327
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:49,000
you are my significant other.
328
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,800
- And that's my fault?
- I didn't say it was your fault, Dad.
329
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,100
You think it's a picnic living with you?
It's not exactly my dream either.
330
00:15:57,300 --> 00:16:00,100
Okay, no, wait, wait, wait, honesty.
This is good.
331
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:02,300
I'm just saying
I've had a bit of a breakthrough.
332
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,900
Dandy! You've had a breakthrough,
I've lost my chair.
333
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,100
Maybe I could sit
on your breakthrough.
334
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,000
I'll tell you what you can sit on!
335
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,200
Okay, okay, okay. Wait, wait, wait,
let's just keep this constructive.
336
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:14,900
If you're going to make progress,
337
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,300
you're both going
to have to compromise.
338
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,100
Now, which one of you is willing
to take the first step?
339
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:26,500
Allow me.
340
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,800
You do this for a living, do you?
341
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:40,300
[SHOUTS] I do it
because I enjoy working with people!
342
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,700
Niles, I've been thinking. Maybe you
and Roz should continue without me.
343
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:49,000
- Why would we do that?
- Because she's good.
344
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,400
- Just a second...
- No, no, no, don't worry about me.
345
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:54,800
I'll find something easier to play,
like a stick.
346
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,800
Daphne, I'm not gonna let you quit.
347
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,400
You're just a slow starter.
348
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:03,100
It may require a little more time
but you'll improve.
349
00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:06,100
- You really think so?
- You have to trust me.
350
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:07,700
I don't care how long it takes.
351
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:10,100
I am going
to make a pianist out of you.
352
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,300
Thank you.
353
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,300
You know, you're much nicer
than my old piano teacher.
354
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,900
- You took lessons before?
- Hmm? Oh, yeah.
355
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,500
Eight years of them.
356
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,700
Mr. Cruikshank.
357
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:30,000
You know, he once played
at the Royal Albert Hall.
358
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,700
Oh, why did you stop
taking the lessons, honey?
359
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,700
Well, it turns out Mr. Cruikshank
was an unstable man.
360
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,900
He took his own life.
361
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:44,900
Do you know I was the last person
to see him alive?
362
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,600
Dad, Frasier's here.
363
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,500
What's this?
364
00:17:55,700 --> 00:18:00,900
It's something I got to tell you
I'm sorry for being such a sorehead.
365
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,500
Oh, Dad.
366
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:05,800
I'm overwhelmed.
367
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:07,800
Tied the bow myself.
368
00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:10,000
Just... Just pull on it.
It'll come right off.
369
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,400
Yeah? All right.
370
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:22,200
Oh, how... How unexpected.
371
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,800
You don't like it.
372
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:28,000
- No, no, I do. It, it's just that...
- I got some guy, Eduardo, to help me.
373
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:30,100
I figured I couldn't miss.
374
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,400
It's divine.
375
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,800
That's what Eduardo said.
376
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,700
There's just one problem.
377
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000
If you don't like it...
378
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:45,400
I know, I can set it on fire
and throw it over the balcony.
379
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,600
No,
I just meant you can take it back.
380
00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:49,000
I want you to be happy.
381
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,300
Frasier, this is a wonderful gesture
on Dad's part.
382
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,800
I do too, Niles. I do.
I'm... I'm very touched, Dad.
383
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,100
Thank you. Thank you so much.
384
00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:02,300
It's just that I had something else
in mind. Uh...
385
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,100
[DOORBELL RINGS]
386
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,600
Well, I give up.
Try to do a nice thing...
387
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:08,400
- What's the matter?
FRASIER: Just...
388
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,000
Ah, good.
Gentlemen, come right in, please.
389
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,900
Uh, just set it right over here.
390
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,500
You bought a chair?
Thanks for telling me.
391
00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:20,000
Give me a chance.
I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
392
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,400
- I need somebody to sign for this.
- Yes, of course.
393
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,700
In just a moment, please.
Could you wait at the door?
394
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,200
Thank you.
395
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:30,500
Everyone, I would like to introduce you
to the newest member
396
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:33,900
of our furniture family.
397
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,000
Where did you find this?
398
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:42,700
You can't find that, Dad.
It doesn't exist anymore...
399
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,500
...which is why I contacted
a master builder,
400
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,300
showed him some photographs
and had him duplicate it.
401
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,500
As for the material, I tracked down
the original manufacturer
402
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:57,300
and once I got them to admit
they made it, I had them reweave it.
403
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:01,500
- It must have cost a fortune.
FRASIER: Yes.
404
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,700
Ironically, this is now
the most expensive piece of furniture
405
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,900
in the entire apartment.
406
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,000
Oh, it's beautiful! Thank you, son.
407
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,900
Well done, Frasier.
Oh, it feels just the same.
408
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:14,200
I don't want to get up.
409
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,300
Well, that's a shame. I was planning
on taking us both out to dinner, Dad.
410
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,300
- Anywhere you'd like.
- Even the steak house?
411
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,100
Even the steak house.
412
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,000
Niles, Daphne,
you're welcome to join us.
413
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:26,100
Oh, sorry
but we're in the middle of my piano...
414
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,100
We'd love to.
415
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,100
You know, I'll bet we can get free pie
if we just tell them it's our anniversary.
416
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,500
[MARTIN LAUGHS]
32491
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