All language subtitles for Young.Sheldon.S03E08.HDTV.x264-SVA

- Here we go.
- For many kids,

Christmas morning wasthe
most exciting day of the year.

That's only because most
kids don't know the joy

of getting their college midterms back.

It also didn't hurt that Dr.
Sturgis looked like an elf.

Nice work, Sheldon.

Now,

you'll notice that your
grades are lower than expected.

That's because Sheldon did so well,

he broke the curve,

turning your A's and
B's into B's and C's.

They don't seem happy about it.

Maybe you can give them candy.

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
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Okay. This is where I spend all my time,

yet somehow my ex-wife owns half of it.

Mm, not bitter at all. Good for you.

We got baseball over here
and got football right there

and then hunting and
fishing in the back.

Oh, yeah.

And this hockey puck has been here

since Jimmy Carter was president.

You'd think a sport with
a bunch of white boys

beating each other up would
be more popular in Texas.

So, you want to head out?

Oh, my grandson's been
wanting some weights.

Sheldon?

Hell, can't he just lift
a soup can or something?

The other grandson. The
pretty one with the hair.

Ah. All right. Well, send him by.

We'll give him the family
and friends discount.

How big a discount?

Well, uh, depends on, uh,
how much fun we have tonight.

Are you putting a
price on my affections?

Yeah, kinda.

You're gonna regret it.

I'm really fun.

...fever down, try to
let the body heal itself.

Keep me advised. Picard out.

Captain, the neutrino...

Cooper residence.

- Hello, Sheldon.
- Dr. Sturgis.

I'd love to talk to you,
but I'm right in the middle

of Star Trek: The Next
Generation. It's a good one.

Geordi goes missing,

but Wesley Crusher has a plan
to use neutrinos to locate him,

since they'd be visible
to Geordi's visor.

I was actually calling
to speak to your father.

But I'm glad you're having
fun with your friends.

Hang on. I'll go get him.

Dad! Phone call!

Even though Dr. Sturgis was confused,

one day, Wesley Crusher
really would be my friend.

Neat, huh?

Hey, John.

George. John Sturgis here.

That's why I said "Hey, John."

Great.

I was wondering if we could
go out for a beer and talk.

Oh. Well, aren't we talking right now?

Yes, but we had so much fun last time,

I thought we could do it again.

Gee, John, last time, you got drunk

and threw up in my glove compartment.

Did I?

Well, while I don't remember
any of that happening,

I promise to be on my best behavior.

And the drinks are on me.

Na zdrowie!

That's, uh, "to our health" in Russian.

This is not the place to talk Russian.

So, what's up?

Well, Sheldon has been
doing extraordinarily well

in his college physics class.

I know. He made me put
his test up on the fridge,

next to Missy's drawing
of her hand as a turkey.

So, uh, the university has taken
notice of Sheldon's talents,

and they would very much like him

to enroll full-time.

Yeah, we've been down this road, John.

Sheldon's only ten.

Mary and I both have jobs.
We just can't make it work.

Well, that's why they
asked me to speak to you.

They're looking to sweeten the pot.

That's a gambling metaphor.

A lesser-known version
is "sweeten the kitty."

I assume the difference is regional,

but I'm no etymologist.

This beer is yummy. Mmm!

So, what are they offering, John?

They thought it would
be easier on the family

if you were employed at the university.

- Really?
- Yes, that way,

you could drive Sheldon

and keep an eye on him while he's there.

But I'm a football coach.

Does the school even have a team?

Oh, yes, they do.

They-they don't win much,

but they lead the league in injuries.

Well, guess that's a thing.

Okay.

Anyway, I believe
they're willing to, uh,

exceed your current salary
by a substantial amount.

Is that so?

Yes.

They thought it would incentivize you.

Well, John, they're not wrong.

Excellent!

Na zdrowie.

What the hell. Na zdrowie.

How was Dr. Sturgis?

He's fine.

What did you two talk about?

I don't know. S-Stuff.

Science stuff?

No. Just regular stuff.

Ooh, I bet he talked about
me. What did he say about me?

Sheldon, everything isn't about you.

Okay? Go to your room.

Yes, sir.

What'd y'all talk about?

Sheldon.

Oh.

The university wants to
offer me a coaching job

if it'll help to get Sheldon
to go there full-time.

Oh.

We talked about this.

- College might be too much for him.
- I know.

That's why I'd be there, you know,

to help him over the rough spots.

I don't know, George.

Can't hurt to see what the offer is.

There are more important
things than money.

That's cute. You should
knit that on a pillow.

Maybe I'll push that
pillow over your face.

Scuse me. You Mr. Ballard?

Yeah, that'd be me.

I'm Georgie, Connie Tucker's grandson.

Oh, yeah.

The hair. Very pretty.

Hang on a second. I got to
deal with this guy, okay?

- Take your time.
- So,

here you go. Here's the
rod you were asking about.

Now, that's a good choice.

- Very solid.
- Mm. Mm.

And then I just brought this one along

to show you, just in
case, later, you know,

you get serious about fishing.

Well... I'm pretty serious.

Yeah. You know, I-I had that feeling.

Wh-What's your name?

- Jim.
- Jim.

Well, Jim, this rod is a little pricey.

It's double the cost of that one,

but it's worth every penny.

And, uh, it's the rod I use.

Well, then that's the one I want.

Well, that's a good choice.

There you go.

Now, with a rod like this,
you want to use live bait,

and we don't carry that here.

But down the street is
Ed's Bait and Tackle Shop.

And if you tell him Dale sent
you, he'll take care of you.

I appreciate that.

So, take her over there to Bernice,

- and she'll ring you up.
- Thanks.

Hey.

And-and bring me back some catfish.

You bet.

Yeah.

You're a really good salesman.

Well, yeah. Not only that,

I get a kickback on
everybody I send down to Ed's.

You're awesome.

I know.

Ooh. 35 cents off Goober.

What's Goober?

Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.

Think about how much time we'd save.

Hey.

Dale give you a good price

on those weights?

Better. He gave me a job.

Damn. He did have fun last night.

- What kind of job?
- Salesman.

Well, congratulations.

I'm gonna learn a lot from him.

He's real good at getting
people to spend money

on stuff they don't need.

Well, I don't know if I
like the sound of that.

You know what I like
the sound of? Ka-ching.

Well, thank you.

That's a very generous offer.

Let me discuss it with my family,

and I'll get back to you.

Bye.

What was that about?

Are you my family?

I don't know.

I like to think of
myself as your work wife.

So, that's why I wanted
to give you a heads-up.

I got to tell you, George,
this is a real blow.

Appreciate it. But, uh,
yeah, you'll find someone.

There's a lot of good coaches out there.

Not you. Sheldon.

Sheldon?

I thought everyone would be
thrilled for him to leave.

Don't get me wrong,

your kid is a royal pain in the ass.

I have a problem with
this permission slip.

You didn't cut them in half evenly.

Mine has two holes, and
Derek here just has one.

Then trade.

Then Derek will have two
holes, and mine will have one.

You're not going to
the water park anyway!

However, his state test
scores are so extraordinary,

the school actually gets
more funding because of it.

You serious?

Serious as the fire alarms,
which are now functional.

And always were, if anyone asks.

I don't know what to tell you, Tom.

They're offering me a pretty nice raise.

Well, I can't afford to lose Sheldon,

so what's it gonna take
to keep y'all here, George?

Thank you.

I will discuss it with my
family and get back to you.

Good.

Bit of a kerfuffle at the church today.

Pastor Jeff promised Patricia Richards

she could sing "How
Great Thou Art" on Sunday,

but I had already
printed in the bulletin

that Karen Baker was gonna sing it.

They agreed to a duet, but it was

touch and go.

- Mm.
- What's a kerfuffle?

Not that.

Hey.

Hey. How was your first day at work?

Amazing.

I made $38 on commissions alone.

Well, good for you.

What's for dinner?

Meatloaf.

Oh. I think I'm gonna go out to eat.

No, you are not.

We're having dinner as a family.

Yeah, but I got money now
and I can do what I want.

And what I want is a
chimichanga at Chi-Chi's.

I want a chimichanga from Chi-Chi's.

They do have a good margarita.

You are eating here. So are you.

I don't care what you do.

Later.

Georgie Cooper.

Do not walk out of that door.

Georgie!

That's a kerfuffle.

Missy, let this be a lesson to you.

The love of money is
the root of all evil.

Hey!

You would not believe the wheelin'

and dealin' I did today.

I'm playing the high school

and the university against each other.

Hey, what do you say
we go out to dinner?

Chi-Chi's is good.

Ooh, chimichangas.

I've asked you all here
because we got a situation.

George Cooper's considering
a job at a college and...

taking Sheldon with him.

- Yes!
- Is it far away?

- I hope it's far away.
- Maybe it's overseas.

- Ooh, like Fiji.
- Hold your horses.

If Sheldon walks out that
door, our test scores drop hard.

That affects funding,
which affects your salaries.

Ugh. Well, how can we help?

Y'all need to make George
and Sheldon so happy here

they want to stay.

Oh, come on.

Isn't there anything else we can do?

Yeah, Mr. Givens.

You could do a better job at
teaching the other students

so we don't rely on one boy
to pull up everyone's grades.

Fine. We'll be nice to Sheldon.

♪ I've been working
for the big man ♪

♪ All the livelong day ♪

♪ I've been working
for the big man ♪

♪ Just to wash my sins away. ♪

Hey, Mary. What's up?

Can I speak with you
about a spiritual matter?

My sweet spot. Sit.

What's the buzz?

Tell me, what's a-happenin'?

Jesus Christ Superstar.

It's a great show.

Well, um...

I'm concerned George and Georgie

might be succumbing to the sin of greed.

Ooh, that's a biggie.

Ever since Georgie started making money,

he's been very disrespectful.

Meanwhile, my husband's so busy
trying to land a better job,

he doesn't even care how
it might affect Sheldon.

I'm sorry to hear that.

In Luke 12:15, Jesus says, "Watch out.

Be on your guard against
all kinds of greed.

Life does not consist in an
abundance of possessions."

I know, but it seems
like the whole world

is sending the opposite message.

Don't I know it.

Just the other day, I was at the mall

and a toaster oven caught my eye.

Next thing you know, I
was in line to buy it,

and I realized I have a toaster

and I have an oven. What am I doing?

Turns out Satan doesn't just hide out

in honky-tonks and casinos.

Sometimes he's in the
appliance section of Sears.

Well, if it's everywhere,
how can we fight it?

We may not be able to control the world,

but we can control our homes.

It's up to us to create an environment

where the sin of greed
can find no purchase.

Is that what you've done in your home?

Well, I do make my toast vertically,

two slices at a time.

Take that, Satan.

Then Geordi goes missing,
but Wesley Crusher

has a plan to use
neutrinos to locate him,

since they'd be visible
to Geordi's visor.

Is that so?

It is.

I recorded the episode.

I'll show it to you tonight.

That's okay.

You did such a good job explaining it,

I feel like I saw it.

You're still seeing it.

What's this?

"Reserved for Coach Cooper."

Would you look at that. They gave me

a parking spot right by the door.

Why?

I guess they're starting to appreciate

my talents around here.

Why?

"BY BARRETT STRONG PLAYING)

Oh! There's my man.

Where?

You, silly.

I'm neither a man, nor
silly, but all right.

You're so funny, Sheldon.

Oh, well, that I am.

These are the flyers for
the canned food drive.

And, Sheldon, you'll be happy to know,

I made sure they were cut perfectly,

so that each one has
exactly one and a half holes.

But mine has half a hole on the top,

and Derek's here has
half a hole on the bottom.

Ooh. What do we have here?

Ooh.

Hey, how come you get
to park by the door?

Don't bother me, Wayne. I'm sitting.

And you got a new chair, too?

Are we going to watch
an educational film?

We're gonna watch Star Trek.

Star Trek in school?

Wowie Zowie.

What's here?

Ooh, a golden whistle.

What the hell is going on?

You wanted to see me?

When don't I want to see
you, Sheldon? Come in.

I have something I'd like to give you.

This is a key to the faculty restroom.

No students allowed.

One person at a time.

And unlike the other restrooms,

this one gets cleaned every night.

Thank you.

No, Sheldon.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

It's all yours.

I think this show is
teaching you bad lessons.

Don't worry. I'm a slow learner.

Fascinating.

Is that Goober? Where did you get that?

Georgie got it for me. He's rich now.

That is it!

I am taking this house
back from the devil.

Hey.

I've been accused

of overreacting from time to time.

But perhaps it's hereditary,
because look at my mommy go.

Aw.

What happened to all our stuff?

Mom went nuts and took everything away.

How am I supposed to
watch Professor Proton?

All my music and magazines are gone.

Where is your mother?

You want to explain yourself?

I am taking our house back
from the forces of evil.

What's evil about Black Sabbath?

You're not helping.

Greed has entered into your hearts,

especially you two.

It has not.

Is that a gold whistle?

Huh? No.

It's... it's a gift.

Now, where's our stuff? We want it back.

I'm not telling.

Mary, don't make me ask again.

Or what?

What?

Your daughter lost her mind
and we want to watch TV.

But... Uh, Dale's coming over.

- Great.
- Love that guy.

Okay, we got a problem.

I don't know what kind of

religious gobbledygook
you're going through,

but it is starting to affect me.

- Your hands aren't clean in this.
- I beg your pardon.

Your new friend Dale
is encouraging Georgie

to be obsessed with money.

Your husband's no good at it.

You ought to be happy your son is.

George is no prize either.

Not worrying about
what's right for Sheldon.

Well, what do you
think is right for him?

Honestly?

I don't know.

I know that he's bored in high school,

but he's just so young for college.

Well, it sounds like they're trying

to set George up there for him.

I know.

Maybe it's me.

Maybe I'm not ready
for my baby to grow up.

No mother ever is.

I just want to keep my family safe.

I know.

But at some point,
you got to let them go.

And then one day, if you're lucky,

they'll move across the street from you

and absolutely ruin your life.

Seriously, get those
people out of my house.

Okay.

Eventually, my mother relented

and returned our things
with a few minor adjustments.

What's The Moosewood Gang?

They solve mysteries
while they learn about God.

Great.

Georgie got his music back.

♪ Jesus Christ ♪

♪ Superstar... ♪

What the hell is this?

And as for college,

my mother and father discussed it

and decided that ten was too young.

So I didn't start till
the ripe old age of 11.

In the meantime...

...I had the key to one sweet bathroom.

And we have brand-new
designs on awesome gifts.

And don't forget about
our layaway options.

Lord, give me strength.

I'm sorry, God. I'm weak.

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