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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:19,050 Subtitles by ViSHAL www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:26,091 Help! 3 00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:29,495 Help! 4 00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,202 My entire life, 5 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:11,937 I've related my existence to material things. 6 00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:13,505 Not because I value them 7 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:14,973 or that I value myself for that matter, 8 00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:16,875 but that's just how I'm wired. 9 00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:22,281 You know, I always wanted a car from the year I was born. 10 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:23,949 Felt like it linked me to an unalterable past 11 00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,584 as I pushed forward ceaselessly 12 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:29,254 to an unavoidably indeterminate future. 13 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:32,524 That car, 1985 Buick Regal Sedan. 14 00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:37,262 But Bella died, that's what I named her. 15 00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,465 So, I introduce you to Bronson, 16 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,234 2005 Pontiac Grand Prix, 17 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,503 named after the criminal, not the actor. 18 00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,290 No, no, no, no, 19 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:08,026 it's not being materialistic. 20 00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,329 You see, I see signs where there aren't any, 21 00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:12,364 like the drawings I did as a child, for example. 22 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:13,966 In them, I see premonitions, that's why I make them. 23 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,201 It helps me express myself. 24 00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:18,670 But more importantly, it helps me, 25 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,873 it helps me understand myself. 26 00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:26,278 Every time I get behind the wheel, 27 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,581 I don't know if it'll be end of the line for Bronson, 28 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:30,649 if I'll even get away. 29 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,988 I just leave it to the Law of Odds now, 30 00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,524 'cause eventually all things, 31 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:39,526 they must fail. 32 00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:45,430 This engine, it's a kin to my heartbeat. 33 00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:04,183 Okay, where's he weave from? 34 00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:06,351 This is Moe, this is Moe. 35 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:09,188 We were current, we have no idea where he's going. 36 00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:11,456 His arm was stuck in the door, 37 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:14,126 and I'm afraid they broke into our room. 38 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:34,646 They're doing CPR on him 39 00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:36,081 and you've got to talk to me, 40 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,282 you have got to talk to me. 41 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:46,593 It's fascinating, 42 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:53,298 because morals, they evolve, it's an evolution. 43 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:56,468 The whole idea of a code of ethics, it's a living document, 44 00:03:56,470 --> 00:04:00,305 one that's created by men and ordained by some deity. 45 00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:04,076 But it's a breathing set of guidelines and it changes. 46 00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,144 Always has changed, always will. 47 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:12,484 And these breathing set of guidelines are subjective, 48 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:16,488 and the cause of all of human history's wars. 49 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:20,459 One group doesn't approve of another group, and then boom! 50 00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,661 And you can analyze this on micro or macro levels, 51 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,230 it's always the same, disagreement ensues. 52 00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:30,502 So by nature of that law, by that credo, 53 00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:31,504 I'm a law breaker. 54 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,608 In the eyes of God or most people's gods, I'm a sinner. 55 00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:41,213 You see, when I look in the mirror, 56 00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:44,316 or as you, you look at me right here right now, 57 00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:45,651 as this camera captures me through it's lens, 58 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:46,653 what does it see? 59 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:49,555 It sees a man. 60 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,158 I'm merely a man, I'm man. 61 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,397 Considering, it was forbidden and frowned upon 50 years ago. 62 00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,399 Women's rights, 63 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,501 gay rights, racial inequality, 64 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:05,070 what did people have to say then? 65 00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,371 Or how about thousands of years of civility 66 00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:07,739 with one religion trying to eradicate another 67 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:10,008 in the name of their god? 68 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,743 I'm not comparing myself to any of that, 69 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:14,112 I'm flat out stating that these moral evaluations, 70 00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,214 they change year to year, day to day. 71 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,851 These are all examples that these interpretations, 72 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:20,853 they change. 73 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,825 So as a result, I am you and you are me, 74 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,561 historically speaking. 75 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:34,232 I'm a product, I'm a result, I'm change. 76 00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:37,035 I'm intrigued by that word, change. 77 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,270 Because people throw it around, 78 00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:41,440 but not all change is good, is it? 79 00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:44,042 Is there a sense of danger 80 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,311 because of the way that... 81 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:50,048 Well danger, danger is just the anticipation of fear. 82 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,483 You see, fear is a product of the mind, 83 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,152 it's a discipline, 84 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,654 a self-survival technique. 85 00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:02,494 People, they fear me, I know that. 86 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:06,832 I see it in their eyes, I see it in their faces. 87 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:10,001 As a result, I am the danger and they are the fear. 88 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:16,041 Like evil, on the other hand, 89 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:19,411 it comes in many forms. 90 00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:20,893 It paints with many different brushes. 91 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:27,386 Mine happens to be a shattered glass 92 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,521 or a knife the size of your forearm. 93 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:36,795 And I have a tendency to paint in broad strokes. 94 00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:38,397 That's fairly straightforward. 95 00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:41,032 We can do anywhere between two to five jobs a month, 96 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,402 depending on the job. 97 00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:45,470 Other than that, it's the same rigamarole, 98 00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:48,240 day in and day out, it just varies locations, of course. 99 00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:48,907 You've worked with this company 100 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,009 - for six years? - 10, 101 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,311 it'll be 10 in September. 102 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,280 In this shape, you can't. 103 00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,151 It's a lot of physicality, isn't it? 104 00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:01,853 You must get pretty shot doing this everyday. 105 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,489 You get accustomed to it. 106 00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:06,691 Look, I didn't want a job that I have to take home with me. 107 00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:09,394 Stress and sweating it out on my own time, no thanks. 108 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,263 Here, I work five days a week, 40 hours a week. 109 00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:12,531 I get paid for what I'm doing, 110 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,433 and then the rest of the time is mine. 111 00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:18,837 I think people only give up too much 112 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,205 of their lives towards something 113 00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:22,441 that's really only designed to sustain. 114 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:27,979 What if they like what they do professionally? 115 00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:28,981 I've conceived that. 116 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:34,553 But it's rare. 117 00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:35,987 It's like digging for a grave and finding treasure, 118 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:36,989 it's not happening. 119 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,092 Well, when we began principle photography 120 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,528 in November of the prior year, 121 00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,797 and so, this was about six months after 122 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:49,067 I plucked Ellis out of N.Y.U. Cinematography Program. 123 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,235 It was under the guise of, 124 00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,070 and with the explicit understanding 125 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:55,073 that Noel had served nine years of a 16-year term 126 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,808 at Sing Sing Federal Penitentiary 127 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,544 for a lust-related double murder, 128 00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:02,080 the crime of passion stuff. 129 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,748 Because of good behavior 130 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:07,118 and increasingly positive psychological evaluations, 131 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,587 he was released in 2015. 132 00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:14,559 After a month of pre-production and two weeks of filming, 133 00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:18,063 Ellis embarked on shamefully-belated research, 134 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,332 and his procrastinated due diligence revealed 135 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,434 that Noel had never been at Sing Sing 136 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:24,904 or any prison. 137 00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:29,040 He'd never been caught, 138 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,176 and there was no crime of passion. 139 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,979 This was a string of murders. 140 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:34,981 He was a rouse. 141 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:37,949 So, we aired it out with Noel, 142 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:41,086 who felt just dreadful 143 00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:44,422 for the misinformation. 144 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:48,093 And Ellis and I were left with a substantial moral, 145 00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:51,196 ethical and a legal conundrum. 146 00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:56,602 We made our choice. 147 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,913 So, it's fairly simple stuff, you see. 148 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:10,982 Yes, no, I get it now. 149 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,918 We want to use these whenever you want. 150 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,353 Any more batteries, need more micro SD cards, 151 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,322 anything, don't hesitate and we'll take care of it. 152 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,690 And when the card is full, 153 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,559 - do I drop them off with you? - Yeah, yeah, 154 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,960 that's fine, that's totally fine. 155 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,062 And you have five backup mini cards right here 156 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,931 in case you need them. 157 00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,065 Just be careful not to shoot over anything. 158 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,500 Once one card is full, 159 00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,268 just pop it out and put in a clean one. 160 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,236 And these ones in the car, 161 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,171 - they the same as before? - Yep. 162 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,005 Just turn them on when you want to, 163 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,341 and off when you don't need them. 164 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,109 Oh, and obviously, leave the backup hard drive safe 165 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,144 at your apartment. 166 00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:41,212 That's a just-in-case maneuver, 167 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,515 we're mildly neurotic. 168 00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:45,684 And we'll update that every few days, 169 00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,052 so you will be the proud owner 170 00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:50,121 of every single item we shoot for this film. 171 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,157 You guys really want the full Noel experience, huh? 172 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,692 We do. 173 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,828 We also have this mount for you. 174 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,397 The body mount, in that you can detach the camera to it, 175 00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:02,367 and then you won't have to use your hands. 176 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:05,537 This sort of takes me back a little. 177 00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:07,439 Takes you back? 178 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,274 Yeah, except when I was a young man 179 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,176 and things became difficult at home, 180 00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:14,613 I immersed myself into cinema, 181 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:17,382 the films of the 40s and 50s in particular. 182 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,284 I really loved their way of life, 183 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:22,687 their manner of speech, everything really. 184 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:26,858 As a by-product, I became interested in editing. 185 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:29,361 Depending on how you edit a narrative, 186 00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,997 you really can manipulate different points of views. 187 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,198 But, I never really got to try my hand at it, 188 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,666 - so. - Really, how interesting. 189 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,234 We had no idea. 190 00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:39,237 I recently bought a MacBook 191 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:43,174 for the purpose of playing with the iMovie application. 192 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:47,379 But it's more fun this way to get the hands-on experience. 193 00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:51,483 So, any musings, any thoughts, anything you can think of, 194 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:52,150 we just don't want to miss anything 195 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,385 when we're not around. 196 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,755 This now is a part of it then? 197 00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:57,757 Anything can be. 198 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,927 Well, it depends later on in the acting process. 199 00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:05,597 Right, editing. 200 00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:08,033 Please pay heavy focus when you get... 201 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:13,938 Oh, the unscratchable itch. 202 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,173 Is that right? 203 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,308 Is that what you call it? 204 00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,911 Yes, I think it helps clarify something 205 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:22,714 that's difficult to describe. 206 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:23,716 Noel, may I ask 207 00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:29,988 how many people know about your activities? 208 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,823 Just you two gentlemen. 209 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,458 Well, what makes you trust us? 210 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,794 I mean, that's if you do, of course. 211 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:38,496 Trust you as far as I need to. 212 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:39,498 So far, anyway. 213 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,670 Which may or may not be a good thing. 214 00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:47,906 Meaning perhaps, 215 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,408 part of you wants to be caught, 216 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,711 or at least not have such a heavy burden 217 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,312 of secret on your shoulders. 218 00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:59,350 The difficulty in discussing the trusting of others 219 00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:02,053 is one first has to trust themselves. 220 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,222 You wouldn't say you trust yourself? 221 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,026 Would you? 222 00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:13,765 No, I don't mind you asking. 223 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:16,434 I've been single for a few years now. 224 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,236 When was your last significant relationship? 225 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,138 There was only one. 226 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,973 Mikayla, we were together for about three years. 227 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,908 What happened? 228 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,110 I've been asking myself 229 00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:27,345 that same question for seven years now. 230 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:31,783 We drifted apart is what really happened. 231 00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,051 Chalk it up to two people 232 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:34,285 whose lives were drastically heading 233 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:35,954 into different direction. 234 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,692 I had just started my job that I currently have. 235 00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:41,694 I was happy. 236 00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,766 But she had grander plans, she wanted to pursue them. 237 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,068 - Did things end amiably? - Sure. 238 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,237 They were more somber, 239 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,973 melancholic as opposed to anything resentful. 240 00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:01,312 I loved her more than anything in the entire world. 241 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,547 From the first day that we stared dating, 242 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:03,982 I knew I would marry her, 243 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,652 and then I didn't get to. 244 00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,992 She was my best friend, she was my soulmate. 245 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,864 When things ended, it was wholly devastating, 246 00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,065 it was catastrophic. 247 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:27,038 But not once did I ever get angry at her. 248 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:31,643 And I keep her here, always. 249 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:32,744 Have you dated anyone since? 250 00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:34,145 No, there's no point. 251 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,883 What role did your proclivities 252 00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:41,519 - play in your relationship? - None. 253 00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,621 How is that possible? 254 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,089 She was unaware. 255 00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:47,759 I made sure that it remained that way. 256 00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:49,060 But how did it affect you 257 00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,962 in so much as your relationship, I mean? 258 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,430 I'm so sorry guys, 259 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,898 but the battery's about to run out. 260 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,900 Just keep it going, Ellis. 261 00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:57,769 Sorry Noel, please care on. 262 00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:58,771 It didn't. 263 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,175 To be able to do what I do, 264 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,145 to be able to remain at large for as long I have, 265 00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:10,215 one has to be intensely good at compartmentalizing. 266 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,382 You have to be able to switch 267 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,117 from one facet of your life to another, 268 00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:14,752 treat them as separate lives. 269 00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:17,622 You have to make that distinction in your mind. 270 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,158 This serves the primary purpose of not losing your mind, 271 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,394 and the secondary purpose of not getting caught. 272 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:26,397 Good, there, I've been itching to ask that of you. 273 00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:31,236 You said that you killed your first victim in 2002 274 00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:33,638 when you were only 17. 275 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,441 How have you remained at large? 276 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:38,910 Compartmentalization, 277 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:41,980 and the nature of random selection. 278 00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:44,282 Have you ever killed somebody you knew? 279 00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:47,652 No, no that's now how I work, 280 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,287 it's not how I'm wired. 281 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,389 That's not part of the outlet for me. 282 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,257 Besides, that would lead to apprehension 283 00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:53,992 which would imply motive. 284 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,026 You mean being caught, 285 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,528 - obviously. - Yes, exactly. 286 00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,563 Can you elaborate 287 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,466 on the idea of compartmentalization 288 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:04,068 and random selection, as you put it? 289 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,303 Well, the first is easy. 290 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,438 Like I said, it's about not losing your mind 291 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,706 - and not getting caught. - Oh, sorry, guys, 292 00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,275 Not to cut you off, 293 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,944 but as a journalist and a storyteller, 294 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,747 I must ask this question. 295 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,449 You don't consider yourself insane? 296 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,451 No. 297 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,820 Psychopaths are not cognizant enough 298 00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:25,256 to know that they are psychopaths. 299 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,658 But I am fully self-aware to know 300 00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:28,192 that I am not a psychopath. 301 00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:31,664 A sociopath then. 302 00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:37,235 Yes, of course. 303 00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:39,571 It is impulse. 304 00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,241 It's amazing to me 305 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,376 how well you seem to know yourself, 306 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,512 and how comfortable you are with it. 307 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,816 It's interesting, isn't it? 308 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,451 The foggy area between who you are 309 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:57,655 and who you perceive yourself to be, introspectively. 310 00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,691 See, if you were to look into a mirror right now, 311 00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:01,793 you wouldn't see yourself. 312 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,962 You would see an abstraction, 313 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,831 an informed reflection. 314 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,901 Perhaps an alienated one, but certainly an altered one. 315 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:16,074 Do you think you know yourself? 316 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:16,941 Yeah, I'd like to think so. 317 00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:17,943 That changes. 318 00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:21,312 - Possibly. - Definitely. 319 00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,215 Please continue. 320 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,420 If you can successfully compartmentalize your life, 321 00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,689 then nothing leaks. 322 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,157 'Cause I would come home, 323 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,927 and Mikayla, she wouldn't see anything. 324 00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:38,229 She wouldn't see it on my face, she couldn't smell anything. 325 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:41,332 I wouldn't be shaky or concerned. 326 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,268 Everything that I had done would be locked tightly 327 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:47,638 in a secret box of history, 328 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:52,477 and I could keep my past there when I wanted to. 329 00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,345 What stops you when your impulse takes over 330 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:58,182 from killing a loved one, let's say? 331 00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,484 Because I love them. 332 00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:04,088 I'm not an insane man. 333 00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:05,189 You have to understand there was no love 334 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,025 in my house after Ethan died. 335 00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:11,963 So love is very important to me. 336 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:14,832 I wouldn't kill someone I loved 337 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:18,269 for the most obvious of reasons. 338 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:18,936 What do you think Mikayla would have said 339 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:20,138 if she ever found out? 340 00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:24,576 I don't know. 341 00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,147 I take solace in not knowing. 342 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,290 We used to sing this song together. 343 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,161 ♪ You say jump ♪ 344 00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,729 ♪ I say how high ♪ 345 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,464 - Do you know it? - Yeah. 346 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:47,398 But we use to change the words, though. 347 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,434 We used to say. 348 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,035 ♪ You say jump ♪ 349 00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:55,373 ♪ I say what roof ♪ 350 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:57,308 She used to always laugh at that. 351 00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:01,547 Random... 352 00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:06,884 And what about you? 353 00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:09,087 I'm failed potentially. 354 00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,455 Well, we certainly didn't rush into the decision 355 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:13,024 to go on this journey to make this film, 356 00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:15,493 but we're tired of waiting for validation 357 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:19,330 from an uncaring and a very difficult industry. 358 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:22,767 I think you made the right choice, it's a bold move. 359 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:23,769 Thank you. 360 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,505 I think this is a deli here. 361 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,107 I'm gonna go grab something to drink, 362 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,708 - my throat's parched. - Salty chips? 363 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:31,710 Salty chips to you, too. 364 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,245 Gentlemen, would you guys like anything? 365 00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:35,146 - No, no thank you. - Nah, I'm good, 366 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,080 - thank you. - You sure? 367 00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:37,882 - Mm-hm. - Thanks. 368 00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:40,218 Alright, I'll be back in just a moment. 369 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,928 We got to get an agent. 370 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:51,863 Maybe this will get us one? 371 00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:53,464 Yeah, maybe. 372 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,665 I know, I know we do. 373 00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:57,902 But as you well know, it's not like applying 374 00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:00,004 - for a credit card. - Right. 375 00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,005 By the way, how's Lana taking 376 00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,007 - everything? - Impatient. 377 00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:04,809 Impatiently, she's getting fed up. 378 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,111 I get it. 379 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,813 Well, maybe if you take a different approach, 380 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,348 that might be able to. 381 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,350 Oh fuck, fuck! 382 00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,218 - Oh, oh no. - Oh shit. 383 00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,250 - Shit. - Wait, what are you doing? 384 00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:19,957 We can't leave him here. 385 00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:21,893 - We're not gonna be, - He's gonna get caught! 386 00:19:21,895 --> 00:19:22,960 We can't stay here. 387 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:23,628 We're not gonna be an accessory to murder! 388 00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:24,729 Oh fuck, fuck, 389 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:25,396 - I don't know. - Go, go, go. 390 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:26,164 I don't know, no! 391 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:26,898 - The dock! - Oh fuck! 392 00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:28,032 Oh fuck, go, go, go! 393 00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,067 I just wanted a Gatorade. 394 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:43,314 - Ready? - Yeah, I'm rolling. 395 00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:46,484 So, this just came in a few minutes ago. 396 00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:49,353 2:37 a.m. 397 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,989 This is a voicemail from Noel. 398 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,127 Hello, Errol. 399 00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:59,764 You saw that, I was awkward. 400 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:02,166 Look, I understand that wasn't part of the deal, really. 401 00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,034 And I didn't mean to implicate 402 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,902 or involve you guys in any way, 403 00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:07,538 and I hope you're not sore. 404 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:11,142 Compulsion and the itch 405 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:17,181 are very real and uncontrollable. 406 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:19,884 Maybe it's good you got a first-hand look for yourselves. 407 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,452 No hard feelings, I hope. 408 00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:23,221 And, alright. 409 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,133 Loretta does not dislike, she likes you just fine. 410 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:37,301 Honey, she's about as fond of me 411 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:39,036 as she is of a wasp sting. 412 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,505 No, not true, 413 00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:43,641 she's just skeptical of you, that's all. 414 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:44,643 Skeptical? 415 00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:47,645 Weary, I meant to say, 416 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:48,646 - "Weary." - Yeah maybe, 417 00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:50,114 but you didn't. 418 00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,449 Skeptical. 419 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:52,451 Weary. 420 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,821 How is weary any better? 421 00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:58,656 Aren't we supposed to be celebrating Brian's birthday? 422 00:20:58,658 --> 00:20:59,724 Shut your trap, Ellis. 423 00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,592 You said you wanted to be here, 424 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,494 and we're all be thrilled that you recorded this 425 00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:04,996 when we see this little guy's face light up 426 00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:07,531 when he sees the cracklers. 427 00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:08,866 What time are you guys filming tomorrow? 428 00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:10,801 Um... 429 00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:12,303 Are you filming tomorrow? 430 00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:14,739 At some point, I think. 431 00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:15,640 Well, are you still meeting me for lunch? 432 00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:17,074 Because I have a showing 433 00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,143 that I have to be at in Port Chester around 1:15. 434 00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:20,111 Yeah, yeah that's fine. 435 00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:20,778 - I can do that. - Yeah? 436 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,847 Hello, Errol. 437 00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:23,849 - Hello. - Noel. 438 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,986 This is my wife, Lana. 439 00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:30,004 - Nice to meet you. - And my son, Brian, 440 00:21:30,005 --> 00:21:31,021 you want to come meet Brian? 441 00:21:31,024 --> 00:21:34,025 - I was hoping... - Come here, come here. 442 00:21:34,027 --> 00:21:35,059 Brian, come here. 443 00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:40,097 Do you want to meet my friend, Noel? 444 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:41,232 Come here, big guy. 445 00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:47,705 This is Noel, and this Brian. 446 00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:48,873 Want to go say, "Hi," to mommy? 447 00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:50,007 Go get mommy, okay? 448 00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:54,111 Join us, come here. 449 00:22:02,588 --> 00:22:04,488 Errol, may I speak 450 00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:06,457 to you for just a moment, please? 451 00:22:17,904 --> 00:22:20,638 Listen, frankly, I'm a bit embarrassed 452 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,074 about what occurred last night. 453 00:22:23,076 --> 00:22:25,743 Noel, don't be, please. 454 00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:28,012 I appreciate that. 455 00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:29,246 I want to make sure you know 456 00:22:29,248 --> 00:22:31,549 that I respect the project immensely, 457 00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:33,050 and I wouldn't want to do anything to put you gentlemen 458 00:22:33,052 --> 00:22:35,219 in any sort of compromising... 459 00:22:35,221 --> 00:22:37,021 We are absolutely aware of that, 460 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:39,623 and we thank you for it, really. 461 00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:40,625 Okay, thank you. 462 00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:43,462 Want to come? 463 00:22:44,931 --> 00:22:45,931 Sure. 464 00:22:49,268 --> 00:22:50,768 I'm not freaking out, I am not, okay? 465 00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:52,203 I am merely concerned, 466 00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:53,871 - and rightfully so. - I agree 467 00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,639 that you are right to be surprised. 468 00:22:55,641 --> 00:22:58,442 Oh, thank you. 469 00:22:58,444 --> 00:23:00,678 Babe, I'm not fighting with you on that, 470 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,079 but you have nothing to be concerned about, okay? 471 00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:04,949 So can we please have this dialog 472 00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:07,251 - when we get home privately? - No, Errol, 473 00:23:07,253 --> 00:23:08,986 let's not, because I don't want a drug-addled man 474 00:23:08,988 --> 00:23:10,554 around our child, okay? 475 00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,256 So we're gonna talk about it right now. 476 00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:13,424 What in the hell are you talking about? 477 00:23:13,426 --> 00:23:15,493 He's an ex-drug addict, 478 00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:17,495 he's in recovery and he's clean right now, alright? 479 00:23:17,497 --> 00:23:18,497 Like always. 480 00:23:20,366 --> 00:23:21,465 I don't even know why this is an argument. 481 00:23:21,467 --> 00:23:22,133 Like, it blows my mind. 482 00:23:22,135 --> 00:23:23,534 It blows my mind 483 00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:25,669 that this scenario right now is okay with you. 484 00:23:25,671 --> 00:23:27,405 What, are you joking with me? 485 00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:28,639 First of all, how did he even know where we were? 486 00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:30,040 Because I told him. 487 00:23:30,042 --> 00:23:31,075 - You told him. - Yes, Lana, 488 00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:32,276 as in conversation. 489 00:23:32,278 --> 00:23:35,880 I mean, I didn't invite him. 490 00:23:35,882 --> 00:23:36,814 Look, do you just wanna take him 491 00:23:36,816 --> 00:23:38,282 - and go? - No, we came 492 00:23:38,284 --> 00:23:39,550 - all the way down here. - It's like 493 00:23:39,552 --> 00:23:40,518 - 15 minutes by car. - I don't want this day ruined 494 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:41,520 for our son, okay? 495 00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:44,623 Okay. 496 00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:48,259 What happened? 497 00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:50,461 Nothing, she's just pissed. 498 00:23:50,463 --> 00:23:52,630 Why, not buying the drug addict? 499 00:23:52,632 --> 00:23:54,198 No, she just doesn't want him around Brian. 500 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,833 She totally buys it, that's the problem. 501 00:23:55,835 --> 00:23:57,902 She's just nervous. 502 00:24:02,008 --> 00:24:03,707 Let's go have some fun, huh? 503 00:24:51,290 --> 00:24:55,626 I got a phone call today from Mikayla. 504 00:24:55,628 --> 00:24:58,662 I haven't seen her for at least a couple of years. 505 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,132 I ran into her in town and, 506 00:25:08,574 --> 00:25:09,574 she has a child. 507 00:25:11,811 --> 00:25:12,943 She had my daughter. 508 00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:15,212 I had a little girl. 509 00:25:19,552 --> 00:25:22,486 I don't know why she told me now if she didn't then. 510 00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:29,426 Her name is Gabriella. 511 00:25:29,428 --> 00:25:30,728 That was always what I wanted to name a baby girl 512 00:25:30,730 --> 00:25:31,929 if we ever had kids. 513 00:25:37,136 --> 00:25:38,569 She told me she found out she was carrying 514 00:25:38,571 --> 00:25:39,603 after we broke up, 515 00:25:39,605 --> 00:25:43,541 and I really, 516 00:25:43,543 --> 00:25:44,208 I really don't know. 517 00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:46,277 She just never did. 518 00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:51,949 I guess she didn't have it in her. 519 00:25:59,592 --> 00:26:01,992 Alright, 520 00:26:01,994 --> 00:26:04,128 up early, I'll see you boys Thursday. 521 00:26:15,541 --> 00:26:16,541 Be careful. 522 00:26:17,977 --> 00:26:20,277 Be careful, I'm unfit. 523 00:26:20,279 --> 00:26:21,912 I'm unsound. 524 00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:24,882 Noel, Noel what is it, what happened? 525 00:26:24,884 --> 00:26:26,817 You can't expect 526 00:26:26,819 --> 00:26:27,751 to stand on the shoulders of the devil 527 00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:29,186 and walk away and escape. 528 00:26:30,623 --> 00:26:32,356 I'm unfit. 529 00:26:32,358 --> 00:26:34,792 - I'm unsound. - What do you mean? 530 00:26:34,794 --> 00:26:37,661 Look, it's okay. 531 00:26:37,663 --> 00:26:41,298 And willing participate in this life for now. 532 00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,601 It's become something else entirely. 533 00:26:43,603 --> 00:26:45,703 I'm unsolved, Errol, I'm unfit. 534 00:26:45,705 --> 00:26:47,738 Do you want to see someone? 535 00:26:47,740 --> 00:26:49,807 Speak with somebody, Noel. 536 00:26:49,809 --> 00:26:50,809 I got to go. 537 00:26:52,645 --> 00:26:53,645 Noel, Noel. 538 00:26:55,581 --> 00:26:56,747 If you ever want to take a good look at yourself, 539 00:26:56,749 --> 00:26:59,116 don't stop in the mirror. 540 00:26:59,118 --> 00:27:00,317 Take my word for it. 541 00:27:04,023 --> 00:27:06,156 I'm gonna need a break, boys, I can't keep going. 542 00:27:06,158 --> 00:27:07,358 Yeah sure, we can resume after lunch, 543 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:10,094 - it's okay. - Live longer than that! 544 00:27:10,096 --> 00:27:12,663 We don't want to wait too long, Noel, Noel. 545 00:27:14,867 --> 00:27:15,867 Fuck! 546 00:27:52,772 --> 00:27:54,938 So relentless, what. 547 00:27:57,610 --> 00:27:58,876 I mean, we got to get him out. 548 00:27:58,878 --> 00:28:00,377 First and foremost, 549 00:28:00,379 --> 00:28:03,147 we have no legally binding agreement with him. 550 00:28:04,917 --> 00:28:05,917 So we have, 551 00:28:07,887 --> 00:28:09,853 we got us virtually nothing 552 00:28:09,855 --> 00:28:12,089 we can do, well, if we wait, 553 00:28:12,091 --> 00:28:13,791 - then... - Obviously, 554 00:28:13,793 --> 00:28:16,527 we don't have a legally binding contract with him, Ellis. 555 00:28:16,529 --> 00:28:18,228 Don't get snippy, man. 556 00:28:18,230 --> 00:28:19,763 All I'm saying is that without, 557 00:28:19,765 --> 00:28:21,598 it'd be in this sort of corner. 558 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,701 It largely becomes about the journey, 559 00:28:23,703 --> 00:28:26,537 and the adventure for where is this gonna end. 560 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:28,840 Alright. 561 00:28:30,609 --> 00:28:33,043 If we wait it out, and we obviously have to, 562 00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:34,812 or if we decided to, 563 00:28:34,814 --> 00:28:37,548 it does help change the narrative. 564 00:28:37,550 --> 00:28:38,716 So you're saying that this is a good thing 565 00:28:38,718 --> 00:28:40,884 that this happened? 566 00:28:40,886 --> 00:28:43,754 No, not at all, it's a silver lining. 567 00:28:43,756 --> 00:28:45,155 Many of them, actually. 568 00:28:46,726 --> 00:28:49,093 Let me put it this way, 569 00:28:49,095 --> 00:28:51,462 as filmmakers, we are always trying 570 00:28:51,464 --> 00:28:53,797 to shape up the narrative, right? 571 00:28:53,799 --> 00:28:54,698 I mean, that's what we do, 572 00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:56,233 - that's our job. - Yep. 573 00:28:56,235 --> 00:28:59,770 But it's about letting the narrative shape us. 574 00:28:59,772 --> 00:29:01,205 And most crucially, Noel. 575 00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:06,076 It's one hell of a twist with Gabriella. 576 00:29:06,078 --> 00:29:08,645 Oh absolutely, absolutely. 577 00:29:08,647 --> 00:29:10,080 I mean, maybe he just needs some space? 578 00:29:10,082 --> 00:29:13,183 Maybe we do too, I don't know. 579 00:29:13,185 --> 00:29:15,285 I don't know, but let's roll with it. 580 00:29:17,056 --> 00:29:19,056 How come we never talked about it? 581 00:29:19,058 --> 00:29:20,824 About what? 582 00:29:20,826 --> 00:29:21,925 The other night. 583 00:29:23,028 --> 00:29:24,028 The deli. 584 00:29:26,699 --> 00:29:27,699 I don't know. 585 00:29:30,202 --> 00:29:31,668 Because I guess it was... 586 00:29:35,341 --> 00:29:36,341 I mean, it... 587 00:29:38,010 --> 00:29:40,310 Why do we have to talk about it? 588 00:29:40,312 --> 00:29:43,313 It was this horrible and bizarre thing that happened. 589 00:29:44,817 --> 00:29:46,984 And we're still here. 590 00:29:46,986 --> 00:29:49,153 With documentaries. 591 00:29:49,155 --> 00:29:53,490 It's just part of life, 592 00:29:53,492 --> 00:29:55,526 it can be a horror show. 593 00:29:55,528 --> 00:29:56,528 I know, 594 00:29:57,563 --> 00:29:58,829 but we're both individually 595 00:29:58,831 --> 00:30:01,098 and collectively ignore the fact 596 00:30:01,100 --> 00:30:04,735 that there's not coming to terms with it yet. 597 00:30:04,737 --> 00:30:05,869 Do you feel guilty? 598 00:30:05,871 --> 00:30:07,671 Guilty, why? 599 00:30:10,609 --> 00:30:13,644 Okay, so, Noel has an outburst, right? 600 00:30:16,015 --> 00:30:18,182 And he cannot control himself for a few seconds. 601 00:30:18,184 --> 00:30:19,149 Isn't that stain that's just gonna get 602 00:30:19,151 --> 00:30:20,450 with someone like him? 603 00:30:24,223 --> 00:30:27,124 It was different, wasn't it? 604 00:30:27,126 --> 00:30:29,026 Which specifically permit me to point out that 605 00:30:29,028 --> 00:30:31,962 we don't even know who Noel is yet, right? 606 00:30:31,964 --> 00:30:32,729 I mean, you say somebody like him, 607 00:30:32,731 --> 00:30:35,165 but who is he? 608 00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,133 I mean, our whole initial relationship 609 00:30:36,135 --> 00:30:38,068 is built on a lie. 610 00:30:38,070 --> 00:30:39,169 Total fabrication. 611 00:30:41,373 --> 00:30:42,973 Part of this process and the fundamentals of this story 612 00:30:42,975 --> 00:30:46,310 is finding out who he is, 613 00:30:46,312 --> 00:30:49,346 what that person is capable of. 614 00:30:49,348 --> 00:30:52,382 We don't know when he's lying, 615 00:30:52,384 --> 00:30:53,383 and we don't know when he's telling 616 00:30:53,384 --> 00:30:54,383 - the truth. - Yeah, but you just said, 617 00:30:54,386 --> 00:30:57,254 that there's no coming to terms to it. 618 00:30:57,256 --> 00:30:59,523 Not yet, so what are you referring to? 619 00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:00,824 A threat? 620 00:31:00,826 --> 00:31:02,192 I don't know. 621 00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:03,927 Yeah, sure, we're a threat. 622 00:31:05,331 --> 00:31:07,898 It's the oddity of it, though. 623 00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:10,834 Sort of spectacle of it all. 624 00:31:10,836 --> 00:31:12,469 Do you feel guilty? 625 00:31:12,471 --> 00:31:13,637 Yeah, of course, 626 00:31:13,639 --> 00:31:16,440 because who knows where that could have led. 627 00:31:16,442 --> 00:31:18,408 We discussed the eventuality of that 628 00:31:18,410 --> 00:31:22,613 and the potential liability, but when you're there? 629 00:31:22,615 --> 00:31:23,615 It's like war. 630 00:31:24,783 --> 00:31:27,017 You hear about, 631 00:31:27,019 --> 00:31:29,653 or read about it in history books, 632 00:31:29,655 --> 00:31:31,054 and movies and lessons. 633 00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:33,657 But when you're in it, 634 00:31:35,661 --> 00:31:36,661 you know? 635 00:31:38,664 --> 00:31:40,163 You know maybe, 636 00:31:40,165 --> 00:31:41,999 maybe we're doing a war film. 637 00:31:45,271 --> 00:31:48,171 Look, Tape Mays was going to be sheltered. 638 00:31:48,173 --> 00:31:51,108 Now so far, so far, 639 00:31:51,110 --> 00:31:55,479 has to show a murder on film, right? 640 00:31:55,481 --> 00:31:57,547 What happens, man? 641 00:31:57,549 --> 00:31:59,182 It was supposed to be a concert film, 642 00:31:59,184 --> 00:32:01,251 and it turned into chaos. 643 00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:02,085 That's just part of the process, 644 00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:03,954 that's just part of, 645 00:32:03,956 --> 00:32:06,857 it's part of existing. 646 00:32:06,859 --> 00:32:08,692 But they weren't implicit in it. 647 00:32:08,694 --> 00:32:10,193 For argument sake. 648 00:32:10,195 --> 00:32:12,896 Yeah, I mean, but, 649 00:32:12,898 --> 00:32:15,999 imagine if someone had that kind of insight on Manson. 650 00:32:16,001 --> 00:32:19,703 Or, what it is, Gacy, 651 00:32:19,705 --> 00:32:23,840 or Dahmer or Bundy, any of them? 652 00:32:23,842 --> 00:32:26,009 Or even worse, or people not that bad? 653 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,447 Can you even fathom the psychological contributions 654 00:32:30,449 --> 00:32:32,950 to the cultural impact it would of had? 655 00:32:37,523 --> 00:32:40,390 It's quite possible that this is a war film 656 00:32:40,392 --> 00:32:43,060 in it's own way. 657 00:32:43,062 --> 00:32:46,463 Yeah, maybe that's how it plays out? 658 00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:50,300 Or maybe that's the new approach? 659 00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:52,636 Maybe that's what it was from the beginning, 660 00:32:52,638 --> 00:32:54,171 just war in all it's forms? 661 00:32:56,075 --> 00:32:57,908 It feels like it sometimes. 662 00:33:11,924 --> 00:33:14,358 How many times do I have to tell you to lock the door? 663 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,193 How do you know it wasn't locked? 664 00:33:16,195 --> 00:33:17,761 Because you didn't unlock it, idiot. 665 00:33:17,763 --> 00:33:19,162 Oh, well that's fair. 666 00:33:24,336 --> 00:33:25,535 We have footage! 667 00:34:21,393 --> 00:34:24,494 Nicely done, guys, nicely done. 668 00:36:19,278 --> 00:36:22,913 One, two, three. 669 00:37:02,354 --> 00:37:04,754 Oh my God, oh my God! 670 00:37:04,756 --> 00:37:06,189 Oh my God, I'm like, 671 00:37:06,191 --> 00:37:07,891 - Noel! - Stifle your squealing, 672 00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:09,259 - sugar tits! - Oh my God, 673 00:37:09,261 --> 00:37:10,527 - Oh my God! - Okay, okay, 674 00:37:10,529 --> 00:37:12,596 I know, it was a bit much. 675 00:37:12,598 --> 00:37:14,531 But look see, look see, look see, look see, 676 00:37:14,533 --> 00:37:16,933 look, look, look, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh. 677 00:37:16,935 --> 00:37:18,501 Hush, hush, 678 00:37:18,503 --> 00:37:21,037 ♪ Hush little baby don't say a word ♪ 679 00:37:21,039 --> 00:37:21,938 ♪ Papa's gonna buy you ♪ 680 00:37:21,940 --> 00:37:22,872 Oh my God! 681 00:37:22,874 --> 00:37:23,907 Oh, I came back! 682 00:37:23,909 --> 00:37:24,909 What you got? 683 00:37:27,246 --> 00:37:29,179 Don't eat that, don't eat that. 684 00:37:29,181 --> 00:37:30,313 Certainly don't eat that! 685 00:37:30,315 --> 00:37:31,315 No, God! 686 00:37:34,553 --> 00:37:35,986 911, what happened? 687 00:37:35,988 --> 00:37:37,454 Oh, oh, please send help, please! 688 00:37:39,157 --> 00:37:40,857 The police are on their way, you asshole! 689 00:37:46,131 --> 00:37:47,264 Hey there, buddy. 690 00:37:59,444 --> 00:38:00,444 I got to go. 691 00:38:05,384 --> 00:38:07,717 You take care of yourself, chap, alright? 692 00:38:19,931 --> 00:38:20,997 Good seeing you! 693 00:38:32,244 --> 00:38:33,843 - Ah. - Ah, there they are, 694 00:38:33,845 --> 00:38:34,978 my handsome gents. 695 00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:37,247 How are things, Noel? 696 00:38:37,249 --> 00:38:39,616 Aces, gentlemen, aces, feeling much better. 697 00:38:39,618 --> 00:38:42,085 So glad to hear it. 698 00:38:42,087 --> 00:38:43,720 I've been working on myself quite a bit. 699 00:38:43,722 --> 00:38:44,854 I'm not sure if coming to terms 700 00:38:44,856 --> 00:38:46,122 is really the right phrase, 701 00:38:46,124 --> 00:38:48,058 but I've certainly been negotiating 702 00:38:48,060 --> 00:38:50,260 some of the bigger baggage better 703 00:38:50,262 --> 00:38:52,662 in light of the recent events and revelations 704 00:38:52,664 --> 00:38:55,932 - as you know, of course. - Well, that's really superb. 705 00:38:55,934 --> 00:38:58,802 And thank you, by the way. 706 00:38:58,804 --> 00:39:00,737 I appreciate your patience, it doesn't go unnoticed. 707 00:39:00,739 --> 00:39:02,205 I just want you to know that. 708 00:39:02,207 --> 00:39:04,174 - Of course. - Yeah man, no sweat. 709 00:39:04,176 --> 00:39:05,375 So, some big news. 710 00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:09,179 Tomorrow, I'll be seeing Mikayla 711 00:39:11,350 --> 00:39:13,516 and meeting Gabriella for the very first time. 712 00:39:13,518 --> 00:39:15,819 Ow, how do you feel? 713 00:39:15,821 --> 00:39:16,821 Are you excited? 714 00:39:19,391 --> 00:39:21,358 Words pay it no service, gentlemen. 715 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,927 My heart, it's, it feels like 716 00:39:23,929 --> 00:39:24,929 it's growing a new one. 717 00:39:25,931 --> 00:39:26,830 If that makes any sense, 718 00:39:26,832 --> 00:39:28,932 and I'm excited 719 00:39:28,934 --> 00:39:31,034 and nervous and anxious, but grateful, 720 00:39:31,036 --> 00:39:32,902 and usually all at once. 721 00:39:32,904 --> 00:39:35,038 And where are you guys meeting? 722 00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:38,375 Norris, it's a diner in town. 723 00:39:38,377 --> 00:39:39,542 It's suppose to be a beautiful day tomorrow, 724 00:39:39,544 --> 00:39:41,811 and there's a patio there. 725 00:39:41,813 --> 00:39:43,046 I'll be leaving work a little early, 726 00:39:43,048 --> 00:39:45,582 and Mikayla, she still works in the evenings. 727 00:39:45,584 --> 00:39:48,385 Who watches Gabriella when she's at work? 728 00:39:48,387 --> 00:39:50,286 Mikayla has a regular babysitter. 729 00:39:50,288 --> 00:39:51,554 Supposedly very pleasant, 730 00:39:51,556 --> 00:39:54,357 and Gabriella absolutely adores her. 731 00:39:54,359 --> 00:39:56,693 And she's got a boyfriend, right? 732 00:39:56,695 --> 00:39:58,735 How should I know if the babysitter has a boyfriend? 733 00:40:00,699 --> 00:40:03,933 Yes, Mikayla's been seeing someone for a while now. 734 00:40:03,935 --> 00:40:07,570 He recently moved west for work, 735 00:40:07,572 --> 00:40:10,206 and so, they've been dong the long distance arrangement. 736 00:40:10,208 --> 00:40:12,008 When are you meeting them? 737 00:40:13,145 --> 00:40:14,145 Noon. 738 00:40:15,547 --> 00:40:18,314 You know what my next question is. 739 00:40:18,316 --> 00:40:19,916 I do, and the answer has to be no, Errol. 740 00:40:19,918 --> 00:40:22,018 Really, why? 741 00:40:22,020 --> 00:40:24,287 Because it's too personal. 742 00:40:24,289 --> 00:40:26,189 But that's what makes it all the more important. 743 00:40:26,191 --> 00:40:28,057 For you, not for me. 744 00:40:28,059 --> 00:40:29,025 - For us. - Okay? 745 00:40:29,027 --> 00:40:30,860 For all us. 746 00:40:30,862 --> 00:40:32,362 Listen, I wouldn't put it to you 747 00:40:32,364 --> 00:40:34,697 any other way but the right way and the honest way, 748 00:40:34,699 --> 00:40:37,367 and I'm telling you that this is an imperative 749 00:40:37,369 --> 00:40:41,204 and essential moment for you, for your story. 750 00:40:41,206 --> 00:40:45,408 Our film, this movie, it's your story. 751 00:40:45,410 --> 00:40:47,177 I don't want to be a jerk or press you too hard on this, 752 00:40:47,179 --> 00:40:50,447 but I really must be insistent. 753 00:40:50,449 --> 00:40:54,217 Well, is there a happy medium of sorts that... 754 00:40:54,219 --> 00:40:55,685 Well yeah, there usually is. 755 00:40:55,687 --> 00:40:57,487 What you'd have in mind? 756 00:40:57,489 --> 00:40:58,455 Well, I don't want a camera in my daughter's face, 757 00:40:58,457 --> 00:40:59,823 I don't want her subjected to that, 758 00:40:59,825 --> 00:41:01,090 - do you understand? - Yep. 759 00:41:05,096 --> 00:41:07,096 What if you were to film from a distance? 760 00:41:07,098 --> 00:41:08,064 That way, you could capture the moments, 761 00:41:08,066 --> 00:41:09,566 but less intrusively. 762 00:41:09,568 --> 00:41:11,601 Yeah, can we lav you? 763 00:41:11,603 --> 00:41:12,669 What does that mean? 764 00:41:12,671 --> 00:41:14,170 Can we put a mic on you? 765 00:41:16,007 --> 00:41:18,741 Sure, yes, but from a distance, 766 00:41:18,743 --> 00:41:19,743 - deal? - Deal. 767 00:41:21,847 --> 00:41:24,347 Alright, I'll come to your home 768 00:41:24,349 --> 00:41:25,748 let's say little before noon, 769 00:41:25,750 --> 00:41:26,983 and we can talk more about it then. 770 00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:29,118 Sounds great. 771 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:30,787 Alright, gentlemen, you have a good day. 772 00:41:30,789 --> 00:41:32,255 - Bye. - Okay, see you, Noel. 773 00:41:49,374 --> 00:41:51,441 How you feeling there, Muscles? 774 00:41:51,443 --> 00:41:53,476 In mint condition, wicked delish. 775 00:41:55,013 --> 00:41:56,713 Really, though, 776 00:41:56,715 --> 00:41:58,781 you feeling okay? 777 00:41:58,783 --> 00:41:59,783 I'm in shambles. 778 00:42:01,686 --> 00:42:02,986 How can I help? 779 00:42:02,988 --> 00:42:04,587 You really can't. 780 00:42:04,589 --> 00:42:06,422 I'm excited, really I am, 781 00:42:06,424 --> 00:42:08,625 but it's that terrified excitement 782 00:42:08,627 --> 00:42:11,961 that you can't shake out of your stomach. 783 00:42:11,963 --> 00:42:14,330 I don't usually get queasy often. 784 00:42:14,332 --> 00:42:15,332 I know. 785 00:42:16,968 --> 00:42:18,268 You're gonna do great. 786 00:42:20,672 --> 00:42:22,539 Thank you, Errol. 787 00:42:22,541 --> 00:42:23,541 Hey, Ellis? 788 00:42:25,076 --> 00:42:26,543 - Yeah? - Is the car packed? 789 00:42:26,545 --> 00:42:28,077 Oh wait, are you miked? 790 00:42:28,079 --> 00:42:29,212 Yes, yes, Ellis already took care of it. 791 00:42:29,214 --> 00:42:31,247 Yep, the car's ready, too. 792 00:42:31,249 --> 00:42:32,249 Great. 793 00:42:35,453 --> 00:42:36,453 You okay? 794 00:42:37,489 --> 00:42:38,489 Yes. 795 00:42:40,425 --> 00:42:41,925 Every time I get behind the wheel, 796 00:42:41,927 --> 00:42:45,562 I don't know if he's gonna start, 797 00:42:45,564 --> 00:42:48,598 that it's the end of the line for good old Bronson. 798 00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:49,866 Bronson, is he? 799 00:42:49,868 --> 00:42:52,535 So the Pontiac has a name. 800 00:42:52,537 --> 00:42:55,038 Named after the criminal, not the actor. 801 00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:56,739 The criminal is named after the actor. 802 00:42:56,741 --> 00:42:58,841 Yes, but still two very, 803 00:42:58,843 --> 00:43:00,710 very different men. 804 00:43:00,712 --> 00:43:01,712 Understood. 805 00:43:03,949 --> 00:43:05,915 Last check, ready? 806 00:43:07,018 --> 00:43:08,818 I will be. 807 00:43:08,820 --> 00:43:09,819 Why don't you gentlemen go first 808 00:43:09,821 --> 00:43:11,654 and I'll trail closely behind? 809 00:43:11,656 --> 00:43:12,656 Alright. 810 00:43:21,266 --> 00:43:25,835 I'm not a bad man. 811 00:43:25,837 --> 00:43:28,571 I'm not a bad man, I'm not a bad man. 812 00:43:28,573 --> 00:43:29,573 I'm not a bad... 813 00:43:30,208 --> 00:43:31,208 Sorry. 814 00:43:40,151 --> 00:43:41,250 I'm not a bad man. 815 00:43:44,889 --> 00:43:47,123 I'm not a bad man. 816 00:43:51,162 --> 00:43:52,328 I'm not a bad man. 817 00:43:58,570 --> 00:43:59,570 Hi. 818 00:44:01,272 --> 00:44:02,272 Hey. 819 00:44:03,008 --> 00:44:04,008 Hi, Noel. 820 00:44:07,479 --> 00:44:08,544 It's cold out, huh? 821 00:44:11,049 --> 00:44:12,382 How are you? 822 00:44:12,384 --> 00:44:13,384 I'm well. 823 00:44:14,819 --> 00:44:16,619 I'm well, it's good to see you. 824 00:44:18,523 --> 00:44:21,624 Honey, Gabby baby? 825 00:44:21,626 --> 00:44:23,092 Do you know who this is? 826 00:44:25,797 --> 00:44:28,064 This is your daddy. 827 00:44:28,066 --> 00:44:29,432 Remember all those pictures you saw? 828 00:44:29,434 --> 00:44:30,434 This is him. 829 00:44:33,905 --> 00:44:36,072 Hi, Gabriella. 830 00:44:36,074 --> 00:44:36,773 Can you say, "Hello?" 831 00:44:36,775 --> 00:44:37,774 Hello. 832 00:44:37,776 --> 00:44:40,176 Hi. 833 00:44:42,781 --> 00:44:45,181 It's really lovely to meet you. 834 00:44:45,183 --> 00:44:48,584 Do you want to see my pictures? 835 00:44:48,586 --> 00:44:51,721 Yes, I'd love to see your pictures. 836 00:44:51,723 --> 00:44:54,090 All she does is draw. 837 00:44:54,092 --> 00:44:55,992 She brings them everywhere. 838 00:44:55,994 --> 00:44:58,027 She just skipped coloring books. 839 00:44:58,029 --> 00:44:59,962 Just draws her own and colors it. 840 00:45:01,599 --> 00:45:02,599 That's amazing. 841 00:45:07,372 --> 00:45:09,372 - These are beautiful. - Look at this one. 842 00:45:09,374 --> 00:45:12,742 This one, this is Mrs. Gallagher, my teacher, 843 00:45:12,744 --> 00:45:14,444 and that's Sam. 844 00:45:14,446 --> 00:45:15,478 We have a dog, Sam. 845 00:45:18,249 --> 00:45:20,717 Would you draw something for me someday? 846 00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:22,919 You got her going now. 847 00:45:22,921 --> 00:45:26,089 She'll draw you 50 things by lunch. 848 00:45:26,091 --> 00:45:29,058 Are you hungry, Gabriella? 849 00:45:29,060 --> 00:45:30,660 What do you say we get something to chow down on? 850 00:45:30,662 --> 00:45:31,662 - Okay. - Okay? 851 00:45:35,734 --> 00:45:36,734 Get that for ya. 852 00:45:48,413 --> 00:45:49,546 Well, it's not that I don't understand 853 00:45:49,547 --> 00:45:50,680 how and why they became popular. 854 00:45:50,682 --> 00:45:52,915 I'm just saying that serendipity had a lot to do with it. 855 00:45:52,917 --> 00:45:54,450 Serendipity or luck? 856 00:45:54,452 --> 00:45:56,119 Well, what do you think the difference is? 857 00:45:56,121 --> 00:45:57,854 I don't know actually. 858 00:45:57,856 --> 00:45:59,756 Take Hanson's MMMBop for example. 859 00:45:59,758 --> 00:46:00,790 I posit that if they're chords 860 00:46:00,792 --> 00:46:02,358 was actually comprised of words 861 00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,361 as opposed to whimsical, prepubescent rambling 862 00:46:05,363 --> 00:46:06,529 that it never would of made it then. 863 00:46:06,531 --> 00:46:07,597 Nobody would of heard it 864 00:46:07,599 --> 00:46:08,765 because that was a part of his charm. 865 00:46:08,767 --> 00:46:10,566 If that's what you'd call it. 866 00:46:10,568 --> 00:46:11,234 Yeah, I remember the first time I heard it, 867 00:46:11,236 --> 00:46:12,435 I thought to myself, 868 00:46:12,437 --> 00:46:14,470 "What the fuck are they going on about? 869 00:46:14,472 --> 00:46:16,706 "Am I mid-stroke or are they putting me on? 870 00:46:16,708 --> 00:46:19,542 - "I mean, what's the story?" - I was super high once, 871 00:46:19,544 --> 00:46:22,845 and I listened to Justin Timberlake's Let's Take A Ride, 872 00:46:22,847 --> 00:46:24,981 like 75 times in a row, man. 873 00:46:24,983 --> 00:46:26,682 I convinced myself I was about clivered 874 00:46:26,684 --> 00:46:29,318 to dog finding the Korean War. 875 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:30,720 You know, come to think of it, Noel, 876 00:46:30,721 --> 00:46:32,121 I've never seen you do anything. 877 00:46:32,123 --> 00:46:33,356 Do you ever smoke the occasional joint, 878 00:46:33,358 --> 00:46:36,826 - or drink anything? - No, only cigarettes. 879 00:46:36,828 --> 00:46:39,395 You're a Catholic boy, you should know where I stand. 880 00:46:39,397 --> 00:46:41,864 I am, I have the yardstick marks to prove my 12 years 881 00:46:41,866 --> 00:46:43,399 - of Catholic schooling. - Oh really? 882 00:46:43,401 --> 00:46:44,967 Oh, kidding about the beatings, 883 00:46:44,969 --> 00:46:47,503 but we had that stereotypical priest. 884 00:46:47,505 --> 00:46:49,972 He used to shout out quotes about the devil. 885 00:46:49,974 --> 00:46:51,707 Put the fear of God in ya. 886 00:46:51,709 --> 00:46:53,075 Do you remember any of them? 887 00:46:53,077 --> 00:46:54,243 The quotes, yeah, but I only use them 888 00:46:54,245 --> 00:46:56,045 when I think I'm in trouble. 889 00:46:57,816 --> 00:46:59,015 This your hat? 890 00:46:59,017 --> 00:47:01,450 I never seen you wear it before. 891 00:47:01,452 --> 00:47:03,486 - Oh. - It is yours, I presume? 892 00:47:03,488 --> 00:47:05,087 Yes, I didn't know it was in here. 893 00:47:05,089 --> 00:47:06,589 It's from a long time ago. 894 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,594 Really though, good for you. 895 00:47:11,596 --> 00:47:13,830 It's not easy resisting those types of things. 896 00:47:13,832 --> 00:47:16,899 For a lot of people, anyway. 897 00:47:16,901 --> 00:47:18,134 Well, I mean, it's always been easy, 898 00:47:18,136 --> 00:47:20,837 I just don't like to lose control of my emotions. 899 00:47:51,936 --> 00:47:53,936 Imitate the actions of the tiger. 900 00:47:55,473 --> 00:47:57,406 You piece of shit. 901 00:47:57,408 --> 00:47:58,875 I just wanted to come say, "Hi," 902 00:47:58,877 --> 00:48:01,844 but you started running, so I decided to run with you. 903 00:48:01,846 --> 00:48:03,913 Piece of shit. 904 00:48:03,915 --> 00:48:05,081 How are you? 905 00:48:10,121 --> 00:48:12,555 Gentlemen, this is my friend, Monica. 906 00:48:12,557 --> 00:48:16,859 We use to do repertory theater back in Tarrytown. 907 00:48:16,861 --> 00:48:17,793 You piece of shit. 908 00:48:17,795 --> 00:48:19,662 Are you still over there? 909 00:48:19,664 --> 00:48:21,564 - Yeah. - What are you guys 910 00:48:21,566 --> 00:48:23,399 working on right now? 911 00:48:23,401 --> 00:48:25,101 Now we doing Shakespeare, lots of stuff, 912 00:48:25,103 --> 00:48:26,369 - you should come. - Oh my God, 913 00:48:26,371 --> 00:48:29,305 I should come visit and see your shows, shouldn't I? 914 00:48:29,307 --> 00:48:31,557 It was this moment 915 00:48:31,558 --> 00:48:33,808 that I realized I would never understand Noel. 916 00:48:33,811 --> 00:48:35,745 Much akin to the struggle of pinpointing 917 00:48:35,747 --> 00:48:39,849 the precise moment a relationship took a sour turn, 918 00:48:39,851 --> 00:48:42,685 or perhaps traversing through the anils of a fading memory 919 00:48:42,687 --> 00:48:45,655 in a desperate hope to recapture a glory that once was. 920 00:48:47,659 --> 00:48:51,160 There's an evasive disconnect between emotion 921 00:48:51,162 --> 00:48:52,595 and a true understanding. 922 00:48:54,866 --> 00:48:56,232 From the beginning, there was always a real yearning 923 00:48:56,234 --> 00:48:59,035 to learn what made Noel tick. 924 00:48:59,037 --> 00:49:00,569 And like an ancient clock, 925 00:49:00,571 --> 00:49:05,074 that ticking would somehow always be there. 926 00:49:05,076 --> 00:49:06,909 But the specifics and the overall reasoning 927 00:49:06,911 --> 00:49:09,946 would forever be lost in a rough sea 928 00:49:09,948 --> 00:49:12,481 of prevailing uncertainty 929 00:49:12,483 --> 00:49:13,483 and moral dilemma. 930 00:49:15,053 --> 00:49:18,254 He was a man who knew no bounds. 931 00:49:18,256 --> 00:49:20,756 He had lived sternly within them. 932 00:49:20,758 --> 00:49:23,125 An anomaly of humanity, 933 00:49:23,127 --> 00:49:24,160 of time and place 934 00:49:25,763 --> 00:49:26,763 of good and evil. 935 00:49:28,099 --> 00:49:32,768 He simply was. 936 00:49:32,770 --> 00:49:36,672 ♪ Oh I can see your face ♪ 937 00:49:36,674 --> 00:49:39,976 ♪ It's not my place ♪ 938 00:49:39,978 --> 00:49:42,878 ♪ Place nor time ♪ 939 00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,548 ♪ Nor time and space ♪ 940 00:49:45,550 --> 00:49:48,584 ♪ To celebrate ♪ 941 00:49:48,586 --> 00:49:50,553 ♪ Who I embrace ♪ 942 00:49:56,661 --> 00:50:00,029 ♪ Ooh-Ooh-Ooh-Ooh-Ooh ♪ 943 00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:18,581 Want to talk about what's on your mind? 944 00:50:21,185 --> 00:50:22,318 I don't think so. 945 00:50:23,554 --> 00:50:24,554 Okay. 946 00:50:26,724 --> 00:50:27,724 That's okay. 947 00:50:31,796 --> 00:50:33,562 It's not good enough, you know. 948 00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:36,600 What isn't? 949 00:50:38,336 --> 00:50:39,336 Any of it. 950 00:50:50,581 --> 00:50:51,981 When I was a young boy, 951 00:50:53,818 --> 00:50:57,653 my brother, Ethan and I, would invent these scenarios. 952 00:50:57,655 --> 00:50:59,255 And someday later in life, 953 00:50:59,257 --> 00:51:01,457 we would of just gone to some paradise. 954 00:51:03,528 --> 00:51:06,128 In all our versions, we would meet there. 955 00:51:06,130 --> 00:51:07,329 In hindsight, I don't know why 956 00:51:07,331 --> 00:51:09,165 we wouldn't just go together. 957 00:51:13,938 --> 00:51:14,937 Maybe we imagined we'd have our own lives, 958 00:51:14,939 --> 00:51:17,039 our own families, 959 00:51:20,011 --> 00:51:23,779 and we would flee them to go to paradise. 960 00:51:23,781 --> 00:51:26,282 Where was paradise? 961 00:51:26,284 --> 00:51:27,950 It would always change. 962 00:51:30,288 --> 00:51:31,287 Sometimes, it was the northeastern part 963 00:51:31,289 --> 00:51:33,656 of the United States or Europe. 964 00:51:36,294 --> 00:51:39,829 We'd always pick these iconic meeting points. 965 00:51:39,831 --> 00:51:42,131 Eiffel Tower, Big Ben. 966 00:51:44,202 --> 00:51:46,435 A villa on the mountain side of Italy. 967 00:51:51,242 --> 00:51:53,042 It's funny what paradise is 968 00:51:53,044 --> 00:51:55,311 to a young boy who lived so far from it. 969 00:51:58,282 --> 00:52:01,016 I've heard you mention your brother's name before, 970 00:52:01,018 --> 00:52:02,618 but never anymore than that. 971 00:52:11,229 --> 00:52:12,661 My brother, Ethan, drowned at a town pool 972 00:52:12,663 --> 00:52:13,663 at the age of 10. 973 00:52:15,066 --> 00:52:16,066 I was nine. 974 00:52:19,203 --> 00:52:21,036 The pool was packed that day. 975 00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:25,774 We were doing cannonballs, 976 00:52:25,776 --> 00:52:27,409 splashing everyone around us. 977 00:52:29,347 --> 00:52:31,547 Getting dirty looks from couples nearby 978 00:52:31,549 --> 00:52:33,883 and looks of glee from the children, 979 00:52:33,885 --> 00:52:36,785 who eventually joined in 980 00:52:36,787 --> 00:52:38,287 if their parents let them. 981 00:52:44,262 --> 00:52:47,129 Ethan must of slipped and hit his head on that last one. 982 00:52:51,135 --> 00:52:55,404 Did a great many splashes in scores of people. 983 00:52:55,406 --> 00:52:58,440 And after a while, we were all there and he wasn't. 984 00:53:00,044 --> 00:53:01,944 I looked for him at one point, 985 00:53:03,181 --> 00:53:04,480 but I didn't see him, 986 00:53:04,482 --> 00:53:06,949 but I didn't think anything wrong of it. 987 00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:14,323 Seems like the more people who were there to save you, 988 00:53:14,325 --> 00:53:16,458 the less attention is paid to danger. 989 00:53:20,598 --> 00:53:24,867 It was too blissful of a day for accidents. 990 00:53:24,869 --> 00:53:28,037 It was too obvious, it was just too out in the open. 991 00:53:29,574 --> 00:53:30,606 I'm so sorry, Noel. 992 00:53:34,445 --> 00:53:38,714 Needless to say, the home I grew up in ceased to exist. 993 00:53:38,716 --> 00:53:40,316 It became much darker place. 994 00:53:46,290 --> 00:53:47,423 I want therapy, 995 00:53:50,194 --> 00:53:52,094 or whatever it is that I need. 996 00:53:54,632 --> 00:53:56,131 I want to change as a man, 997 00:53:56,133 --> 00:53:58,300 I just don't know how to approach it. 998 00:53:58,302 --> 00:54:00,035 I need to talk to someone. 999 00:54:02,173 --> 00:54:04,206 I want to be a father to Gabriella. 1000 00:54:08,346 --> 00:54:09,979 But I can't turn myself into the authorities 1001 00:54:09,981 --> 00:54:11,146 or an institution, 1002 00:54:11,148 --> 00:54:12,948 and there's the irony in it. 1003 00:54:14,685 --> 00:54:18,320 I have to if I want to be a father to her, 1004 00:54:18,322 --> 00:54:20,990 and I can't if I want to be a father to her. 1005 00:54:24,295 --> 00:54:26,428 I don't want to set out on a journey of truth 1006 00:54:26,430 --> 00:54:28,897 and recovery with the biggest lie of all. 1007 00:54:28,899 --> 00:54:30,332 There's got to be a way. 1008 00:54:35,306 --> 00:54:38,307 Sometimes, I feel that maybe I'm just too far gone. 1009 00:54:40,311 --> 00:54:42,978 But subconsciously, I just wanna get caught. 1010 00:54:48,686 --> 00:54:51,820 But deep down, I know I good and I don't. 1011 00:54:51,822 --> 00:54:54,123 There must be some middle ground 1012 00:54:54,125 --> 00:54:57,760 where you can seek treatment without confessing, 1013 00:54:57,762 --> 00:54:58,994 divulging everything. 1014 00:55:01,866 --> 00:55:02,866 Maybe. 1015 00:55:06,203 --> 00:55:08,637 One thing I do know for sure is that I need a change, 1016 00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:09,639 I need to change. 1017 00:55:13,077 --> 00:55:14,543 And if I'm to progress in that, 1018 00:55:14,545 --> 00:55:17,813 then this will have to go on hiatus again. 1019 00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:20,349 Anything can be arranged. 1020 00:55:20,351 --> 00:55:21,351 Thank you. 1021 00:55:25,389 --> 00:55:26,389 I want to go home. 1022 00:55:54,985 --> 00:55:57,586 Get a life, bro! 1023 00:55:57,588 --> 00:56:00,422 This was a place for peace and family! 1024 00:56:01,992 --> 00:56:03,392 Not a come for prepared, 1025 00:56:03,394 --> 00:56:05,160 but if you would know what that means, 1026 00:56:05,162 --> 00:56:07,162 you filthy, brick-fucking loon! 1027 00:56:24,749 --> 00:56:26,048 Hi. 1028 00:56:27,518 --> 00:56:29,017 Come on, 1029 00:56:29,019 --> 00:56:30,619 explain to them what we're doing. 1030 00:56:30,621 --> 00:56:34,189 So Ellis and I are trying. 1031 00:56:34,191 --> 00:56:36,425 Okay, before we even started rolling on this project, 1032 00:56:36,427 --> 00:56:39,161 we had planned on launching a Kickstarter for finish funds, 1033 00:56:39,163 --> 00:56:40,162 mostly for post-production... Do you want 1034 00:56:40,164 --> 00:56:42,297 to explain what Kickstarter is? 1035 00:56:42,299 --> 00:56:44,933 And about a crowdfunding and all that? 1036 00:56:44,935 --> 00:56:46,869 - No, no, I don't. - Okay. 1037 00:56:46,871 --> 00:56:48,904 Anyway, let me finish. 1038 00:56:48,906 --> 00:56:52,107 Well, we just realized that 1039 00:56:52,109 --> 00:56:55,110 we have no idea how to pitch this film. 1040 00:56:55,112 --> 00:56:58,046 I mean, given the obvious subject matter, we can't. 1041 00:56:58,048 --> 00:56:59,415 We can't really even use 1042 00:56:59,417 --> 00:57:00,749 the cover story of the drug angle, either. 1043 00:57:00,751 --> 00:57:01,950 Why not, actually? 1044 00:57:04,188 --> 00:57:07,022 Well I mean, I guess we could. 1045 00:57:07,024 --> 00:57:08,957 I don't know, I just I feel like it needs to be 1046 00:57:08,959 --> 00:57:10,626 sympathetic or chipper or something 1047 00:57:10,628 --> 00:57:12,060 for people to want to donate. 1048 00:57:12,062 --> 00:57:13,762 You know, that's not entirely true. 1049 00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:17,499 I mean, it is important, it's topical, it's got all that, 1050 00:57:17,501 --> 00:57:19,835 - and it is sympathetic. - No, I can be sympathetic. 1051 00:57:19,837 --> 00:57:22,471 It can be sympathetic. 1052 00:57:22,473 --> 00:57:24,540 I mean, how far up our own assholes did we have to be 1053 00:57:24,542 --> 00:57:25,908 to just completely have to gloss over 1054 00:57:25,910 --> 00:57:27,976 this entire section of the project? 1055 00:57:31,949 --> 00:57:35,117 Wait, is that the last beer? 1056 00:57:35,119 --> 00:57:36,285 Hey Noel, 1057 00:57:36,287 --> 00:57:39,822 it's the ever-persistent Errol. 1058 00:57:39,824 --> 00:57:41,490 I know, I've left a few of these, 1059 00:57:41,492 --> 00:57:43,859 but we miss you. 1060 00:57:43,861 --> 00:57:45,027 Listen, we don't even have to talk about resuming shooting 1061 00:57:45,029 --> 00:57:47,629 or the project at all. 1062 00:57:47,631 --> 00:57:50,499 We just want to hear that you're alright, 1063 00:57:50,501 --> 00:57:53,535 hear that things are coming along for you. 1064 00:57:53,537 --> 00:57:55,704 We're going to start the editing process soon. 1065 00:57:55,706 --> 00:57:57,339 Edit as you go, so that'll be 1066 00:57:59,076 --> 00:58:01,043 rich for confusion and excitement 1067 00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:02,644 and long slumberless nights. 1068 00:58:05,015 --> 00:58:07,916 Anyway, two weeks is a while. 1069 00:58:10,454 --> 00:58:13,322 Give me a shout when you're feeling up to it, okay? 1070 00:58:13,324 --> 00:58:14,324 Thanks, buddy. 1071 00:58:23,734 --> 00:58:25,434 And how did that come about? 1072 00:58:27,238 --> 00:58:29,271 The transitions, you mean? 1073 00:58:29,273 --> 00:58:32,841 Yes, what was the process generally, and how speedily? 1074 00:58:32,843 --> 00:58:33,843 Immediate. 1075 00:58:36,647 --> 00:58:39,781 In light of the funeral, after that when we came home, 1076 00:58:39,783 --> 00:58:41,583 everything was different. 1077 00:58:44,588 --> 00:58:46,138 Everything changed. 1078 00:58:46,139 --> 00:58:47,689 My father, he started drinking heavily, 1079 00:58:47,691 --> 00:58:50,859 as did my mother but with her, 1080 00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:52,294 it was mostly with pills. 1081 00:58:54,465 --> 00:58:56,665 But I lost my parents after that night 1082 00:58:58,602 --> 00:59:01,069 in respect of how I've always knew them. 1083 00:59:03,007 --> 00:59:06,141 What affect did Ethan's death have on you? 1084 00:59:06,143 --> 00:59:10,379 And again, I mean immediately after his passing. 1085 00:59:10,381 --> 00:59:15,183 I was old enough to comprehend the weight of it all. 1086 00:59:15,185 --> 00:59:19,488 But still, too young to be able to grieve properly. 1087 00:59:19,490 --> 00:59:22,224 I was terribly sad, depressed even. 1088 00:59:25,296 --> 00:59:26,862 But with my parents being distant 1089 00:59:26,864 --> 00:59:29,464 and resentful at times, 1090 00:59:31,468 --> 00:59:34,570 I didn't really have an outlet for any of it. 1091 00:59:34,572 --> 00:59:37,005 How were they resentful towards you? 1092 00:59:39,944 --> 00:59:43,378 By being distant, I guess. 1093 00:59:43,380 --> 00:59:46,949 But at least, that's how I remembered it. 1094 00:59:46,951 --> 00:59:49,585 Do you feel they blamed you for his death 1095 00:59:49,587 --> 00:59:51,053 and the accident itself? 1096 00:59:54,625 --> 00:59:55,625 I don't know. 1097 00:59:58,562 --> 01:00:02,631 I think they resented the fact that I was still alive. 1098 01:00:02,633 --> 01:00:07,269 Do you think they've favored Ethan over you? 1099 01:00:07,271 --> 01:00:09,938 Only afterwards, after he was gone. 1100 01:00:13,143 --> 01:00:14,776 I think if the roles were reversed 1101 01:00:14,778 --> 01:00:18,013 that he would of have experienced a similar trauma. 1102 01:00:18,015 --> 01:00:20,349 Where are your parents now? 1103 01:00:20,351 --> 01:00:21,351 Dead. 1104 01:00:24,088 --> 01:00:26,955 My poor mother, she died of kidney failure, 1105 01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,957 and my father, he died of life. 1106 01:00:32,763 --> 01:00:35,597 I was 12 when I left home. 1107 01:00:35,599 --> 01:00:38,033 Where did you go at such a young age? 1108 01:00:41,438 --> 01:00:42,438 Around. 1109 01:00:44,475 --> 01:00:46,308 When the violent urges 1110 01:00:46,310 --> 01:00:49,311 you want to focus our session on begin? 1111 01:00:49,313 --> 01:00:51,413 Around the time of Ethan's passing? 1112 01:00:53,984 --> 01:00:55,083 The night we buried him, 1113 01:00:55,085 --> 01:00:58,654 I put a hole through my bedroom wall. 1114 01:00:58,656 --> 01:01:00,496 That's pretty strong for a nine-year-old boy. 1115 01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:03,759 I used an ax. 1116 01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:04,559 How did you have access to that? 1117 01:01:04,561 --> 01:01:06,094 Garage door was unlocked. 1118 01:01:08,132 --> 01:01:09,598 I'm sorry to jump around, 1119 01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:13,035 but our time is growing increasing limited 1120 01:01:13,037 --> 01:01:14,077 and I want to make sure... 1121 01:01:15,005 --> 01:01:18,407 I'm sorry, let me turn this off. 1122 01:01:18,409 --> 01:01:22,144 I want to make sure that we've arrived at this. 1123 01:01:22,146 --> 01:01:24,780 What was the big turn of events 1124 01:01:24,782 --> 01:01:26,581 that you wanted to speak about? 1125 01:01:28,686 --> 01:01:31,219 Well, it turns out that. 1126 01:01:31,221 --> 01:01:33,822 Mikayla's introduction of Gabriella 1127 01:01:33,824 --> 01:01:36,358 was solely self-motivated. 1128 01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:37,360 How so? 1129 01:01:39,096 --> 01:01:40,629 She wants me to take her, 1130 01:01:42,132 --> 01:01:43,365 to have full custody. 1131 01:01:46,003 --> 01:01:47,602 Did she give you a reason? 1132 01:01:50,641 --> 01:01:53,408 The abridged version is that 1133 01:01:53,410 --> 01:01:56,244 her boyfriend moved out west for work a few weeks ago, 1134 01:01:56,246 --> 01:01:58,613 and she now wants to join him in a month's time. 1135 01:01:58,615 --> 01:02:01,049 She wants to start fresh 1136 01:02:01,051 --> 01:02:04,419 and relocate, as she puts it. 1137 01:02:04,421 --> 01:02:07,055 Why not take Gabriella with her? 1138 01:02:07,057 --> 01:02:09,458 She had many reasons. 1139 01:02:09,460 --> 01:02:10,659 Central one being 1140 01:02:10,661 --> 01:02:12,194 that she doesn't want to uproot Gabriella 1141 01:02:12,196 --> 01:02:14,196 now that she's doing so well in school 1142 01:02:14,198 --> 01:02:15,330 and making friends. 1143 01:02:17,501 --> 01:02:19,501 See, Mikayla, she moved around a lot in her youth, 1144 01:02:19,503 --> 01:02:23,905 and she understands the detrimental impact of it. 1145 01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:25,507 You have other suspicions? 1146 01:02:30,147 --> 01:02:32,013 I think she truly believes 1147 01:02:32,015 --> 01:02:35,484 that Gabriella could have a better life with me. 1148 01:02:35,486 --> 01:02:38,286 No kidding, I hear it in her voice, 1149 01:02:38,288 --> 01:02:41,022 I feel it in her words, the way she said it. 1150 01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:45,927 Also, she mentioned that although her boyfriend 1151 01:02:45,929 --> 01:02:48,096 is a good man, 1152 01:02:49,967 --> 01:02:53,101 he has some unsavory habits 1153 01:02:53,103 --> 01:02:56,438 she doesn't want to expose Gabriella to them. 1154 01:02:56,440 --> 01:02:58,507 Do you think that's the lot of it? 1155 01:02:59,977 --> 01:03:00,977 Probably not. 1156 01:03:02,980 --> 01:03:04,980 But like I said, a better life. 1157 01:03:06,350 --> 01:03:09,451 How does that make you feel, 1158 01:03:09,453 --> 01:03:12,387 the possibility of having sole custody of Gabriella? 1159 01:03:16,460 --> 01:03:19,995 More elated than I could ever imagine. 1160 01:03:19,997 --> 01:03:22,330 So you're doing it? 1161 01:03:22,332 --> 01:03:23,332 Yes. 1162 01:03:24,735 --> 01:03:27,102 Wow, I'm very happy for you, 1163 01:03:28,839 --> 01:03:30,639 and I'm sorry, but our time is up. 1164 01:03:32,176 --> 01:03:36,311 Yeah, it might be. 1165 01:03:36,313 --> 01:03:38,146 How the fuck could you let that slip? 1166 01:03:38,148 --> 01:03:41,082 I've already apologized to you about it, okay? 1167 01:03:41,084 --> 01:03:43,218 But I really want an answer, not just an apology. 1168 01:03:43,220 --> 01:03:44,486 It's not like it was a slip of the tongue, 1169 01:03:44,488 --> 01:03:45,287 it was in an email. 1170 01:03:45,289 --> 01:03:46,655 I mean, Jesus Christ, Ellis, 1171 01:03:46,657 --> 01:03:47,956 - who's team are you on? - Look, don't talk to me 1172 01:03:47,958 --> 01:03:50,058 like I'm beholden to you. 1173 01:03:50,060 --> 01:03:52,327 We're co-directors, we're co-producers. 1174 01:03:52,329 --> 01:03:54,896 I slipped up, 1175 01:03:54,898 --> 01:03:57,165 - and that's that. - Yeah, that's that. 1176 01:03:57,167 --> 01:03:58,867 Until Noel has a spiked soldering iron 1177 01:03:58,869 --> 01:04:00,468 shoved two feet up your asshole 1178 01:04:00,470 --> 01:04:02,337 in the town square for the city folk 1179 01:04:02,339 --> 01:04:04,506 - to feast their eyes on. - It might not even register 1180 01:04:04,508 --> 01:04:06,241 with him when he reads it. 1181 01:04:06,243 --> 01:04:07,309 Of course it'll register with him when he reads it, 1182 01:04:07,311 --> 01:04:09,644 in fact, the moment he reads it 1183 01:04:09,646 --> 01:04:11,980 because he's not a fucking idiot like you are. 1184 01:04:11,982 --> 01:04:14,983 He made it explicitly clear to not 1185 01:04:14,985 --> 01:04:18,019 - film his daughter. - Fuck you, man. 1186 01:04:18,021 --> 01:04:19,187 Why are you even communicating with him behind my back 1187 01:04:19,189 --> 01:04:20,922 in the first place? 1188 01:04:20,924 --> 01:04:21,924 Behind your back? 1189 01:04:25,128 --> 01:04:26,761 Is this middle school all over again? 1190 01:04:26,763 --> 01:04:29,531 That's it, right? 1191 01:04:29,533 --> 01:04:31,766 And just because I have a conversation with someone 1192 01:04:31,768 --> 01:04:33,435 and you're not around it, 1193 01:04:33,437 --> 01:04:35,303 it doesn't mean it was clandestine. 1194 01:04:35,305 --> 01:04:36,805 This wasn't a conversation, dickface, 1195 01:04:36,807 --> 01:04:37,839 this was an email, and I should 1196 01:04:37,841 --> 01:04:40,942 - of been CC'd on it. - Fine. 1197 01:04:40,944 --> 01:04:43,144 For the rest of them, you will be, okay? 1198 01:04:43,146 --> 01:04:45,513 He's a goddamn psychopath, 1199 01:04:45,515 --> 01:04:48,850 and you're beating him with your mindless bullshit! 1200 01:04:48,852 --> 01:04:50,552 I've got a family to protect, 1201 01:04:50,554 --> 01:04:52,220 and you better not give him cause to turn on either of us 1202 01:04:52,222 --> 01:04:54,022 through your carelessness! 1203 01:04:54,024 --> 01:04:56,591 Please, don't throw your family 1204 01:04:56,593 --> 01:04:58,426 in the front lines right when the enemy is approaching. 1205 01:04:58,428 --> 01:05:00,195 - They're not shields. - Exactly, 1206 01:05:00,197 --> 01:05:02,230 - that's what you're doing. - No, no, 1207 01:05:02,232 --> 01:05:05,166 all I'm saying is don't use them to reignite 1208 01:05:05,168 --> 01:05:08,069 some fucking righteous sense of duty or savior complex. 1209 01:05:08,071 --> 01:05:09,571 Oh, oh yeah, you do that. 1210 01:05:09,573 --> 01:05:11,306 You hide behind that always! 1211 01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:16,411 You knew the risks in documenting someone like Noel, 1212 01:05:16,413 --> 01:05:18,446 and you jumped on board willingly with both feet! 1213 01:05:18,448 --> 01:05:21,082 Calculated risks, 1214 01:05:21,084 --> 01:05:23,351 now shaking the can before you leave it in the sun. 1215 01:05:23,353 --> 01:05:24,853 All I'm saying 1216 01:05:24,855 --> 01:05:26,955 is don't fuck with me or my family. 1217 01:05:29,426 --> 01:05:30,825 - What an ego, man. - No, 1218 01:05:30,827 --> 01:05:32,360 it's not about ego. 1219 01:05:32,362 --> 01:05:34,396 It's about finishing the goddamn film 1220 01:05:34,398 --> 01:05:36,264 and coming out on the other end in one piece. 1221 01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:39,200 Do not take needless risks. 1222 01:05:39,202 --> 01:05:40,568 You need to tell him that you mistyped, 1223 01:05:40,570 --> 01:05:42,137 or weren't thinking 1224 01:05:42,139 --> 01:05:43,371 - or something. - No, there's no parenthesis 1225 01:05:43,373 --> 01:05:44,739 in film, Errol, just what's on screen 1226 01:05:44,741 --> 01:05:46,441 and what isn't, okay? 1227 01:05:46,443 --> 01:05:48,543 You can't rewrite what happened, man. 1228 01:05:48,545 --> 01:05:49,545 It's a documentary! 1229 01:05:55,886 --> 01:05:57,152 We're too involved. 1230 01:05:59,623 --> 01:06:02,390 We're part of the story. 1231 01:06:02,392 --> 01:06:04,592 Hell, we are the story 'cause the fuck knows where Noel is. 1232 01:06:04,594 --> 01:06:09,464 Alright, let's cool off, okay? 1233 01:06:09,466 --> 01:06:12,133 Let's take some time, 1234 01:06:12,135 --> 01:06:15,203 we'll start editing in a few days. 1235 01:06:15,205 --> 01:06:18,440 Guess we'll know by then really where we stand. 1236 01:06:18,442 --> 01:06:19,442 Yeah. 1237 01:06:23,347 --> 01:06:24,347 Lana, 1238 01:06:26,883 --> 01:06:29,117 how long have you been standing there? 1239 01:06:29,119 --> 01:06:30,652 I can only hope this lens serves 1240 01:06:30,654 --> 01:06:33,054 as a merit to the twisted mission that you're on, 1241 01:06:33,056 --> 01:06:34,389 and the danger that you're putting your family in, 1242 01:06:34,391 --> 01:06:35,391 you sick fucks. 1243 01:06:42,833 --> 01:06:44,532 It's editing day. 1244 01:06:44,534 --> 01:06:45,534 Editing day! 1245 01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:52,774 Hello, everyone, it's day one of editing 1246 01:06:52,776 --> 01:06:55,343 where we hope to sift through the many hours of footage 1247 01:06:55,345 --> 01:06:57,379 and see if we can't begin to locate 1248 01:06:57,381 --> 01:06:59,447 some key cohesive narrative threads. 1249 01:07:01,351 --> 01:07:02,951 Ellis? 1250 01:07:02,953 --> 01:07:04,319 Uh, yeah, 1251 01:07:04,321 --> 01:07:06,287 just basically seeing where we are 1252 01:07:06,289 --> 01:07:09,758 in our journey through the first cut. 1253 01:07:09,760 --> 01:07:13,161 And so, let's just help guide the movie, guide the shoot. 1254 01:07:13,163 --> 01:07:16,898 Exactly, so we both took the day. 1255 01:07:16,900 --> 01:07:17,799 I'm not sure if anyone even knows that we have day jobs, 1256 01:07:17,801 --> 01:07:20,101 do they? 1257 01:07:20,103 --> 01:07:20,869 I don't think we mentioned it, no. 1258 01:07:20,871 --> 01:07:22,137 I mean, I don't even know 1259 01:07:22,139 --> 01:07:22,804 if we're going to use this, to be honest. 1260 01:07:22,806 --> 01:07:24,672 Probably not. 1261 01:07:24,674 --> 01:07:28,243 Anyway, we both took the day from our respective day jobs 1262 01:07:28,245 --> 01:07:31,379 that you may or may not know that we had. 1263 01:07:31,381 --> 01:07:33,114 Should we tell them what our day jobs are? 1264 01:07:33,116 --> 01:07:34,449 No, let's just focus, okay? 1265 01:07:34,451 --> 01:07:36,317 We've already... 1266 01:07:36,319 --> 01:07:37,319 Jesus. 1267 01:07:42,793 --> 01:07:44,893 It's probably just the mailman. 1268 01:07:44,895 --> 01:07:46,135 Is Dwayne Johnson your mailman? 1269 01:07:47,030 --> 01:07:47,929 - God! - Yeah, there's probably 1270 01:07:47,931 --> 01:07:49,064 a hole in the door. 1271 01:08:02,479 --> 01:08:06,047 We have footage. 1272 01:08:06,049 --> 01:08:07,549 Seriously? 1273 01:08:07,551 --> 01:08:09,317 Awesome, let's take a look. 1274 01:08:09,319 --> 01:08:10,485 Well, the mail guy must of been in a rush 1275 01:08:10,487 --> 01:08:11,920 'cause he was half way down the block 1276 01:08:11,922 --> 01:08:14,422 by the time I even opened the door. 1277 01:08:14,424 --> 01:08:16,958 Neither rain nor snow nor good manners. 1278 01:08:21,832 --> 01:08:22,832 Okay. 1279 01:08:33,043 --> 01:08:35,477 Looks like an empty card. 1280 01:08:35,479 --> 01:08:37,445 Maybe it's just got the one video. 1281 01:09:07,310 --> 01:09:08,310 Oh, Jesus. 1282 01:09:10,580 --> 01:09:11,580 What? 1283 01:09:16,686 --> 01:09:17,686 This is my house. 1284 01:09:19,523 --> 01:09:20,523 This is here. 1285 01:09:53,390 --> 01:09:54,390 Oh my God. 1286 01:09:58,595 --> 01:10:00,562 What, well, what is it? 1287 01:10:00,564 --> 01:10:03,298 This was shot today. 1288 01:10:03,300 --> 01:10:06,134 Brian stayed home from preschool with a fever. 1289 01:10:07,404 --> 01:10:08,404 That's him now! 1290 01:10:16,613 --> 01:10:18,112 It's editing day. 1291 01:10:18,114 --> 01:10:20,181 Editing day! 1292 01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:24,185 Hello, everyone. 1293 01:10:24,187 --> 01:10:26,321 It's day one of editing 1294 01:10:26,323 --> 01:10:28,990 where we hope to sift through the many hours of footage, 1295 01:10:28,992 --> 01:10:30,892 and see if we can't begin to locate 1296 01:10:30,894 --> 01:10:32,961 some key cohesive narrative threads. 1297 01:10:34,698 --> 01:10:36,731 Ellis? 1298 01:10:36,733 --> 01:10:37,999 Uh yeah, 1299 01:10:38,001 --> 01:10:39,667 it's just basically seeing where we are. 1300 01:11:15,105 --> 01:11:16,154 No, no! 1301 01:11:16,155 --> 01:11:17,204 What did I say about Gabriella! 1302 01:11:17,207 --> 01:11:19,874 Off limits, off limits, off limits! 1303 01:11:19,876 --> 01:11:21,743 Say it with me, you fat pig! 1304 01:11:21,745 --> 01:11:23,144 Get off of him, Noel! 1305 01:11:26,716 --> 01:11:28,783 Hello, gentlemen. 1306 01:11:28,785 --> 01:11:30,351 - Hey, Noel. - What's up, Noel? 1307 01:11:32,222 --> 01:11:34,188 Look, I know we're all a bit shaken up 1308 01:11:34,190 --> 01:11:37,091 about what happened yesterday. 1309 01:11:37,093 --> 01:11:40,895 And to tell you the truth, I'm sort of sorry, okay? 1310 01:11:40,897 --> 01:11:43,331 But, out of one corner of my mouth, I say, "I'm sorry," 1311 01:11:43,333 --> 01:11:47,468 and now the other corner, I say, "I told you so." 1312 01:11:47,470 --> 01:11:49,137 I know my methods were a bit drastic, 1313 01:11:49,139 --> 01:11:51,506 but that's how I convey the finer points, sometimes. 1314 01:11:51,508 --> 01:11:53,408 I know, 1315 01:11:53,410 --> 01:11:56,344 and we are so, so sorry for crossing that line. 1316 01:12:00,283 --> 01:12:02,350 We were just sorry for crossing that line, Noel. 1317 01:12:02,352 --> 01:12:04,886 The footage is gone, it won't happen again. 1318 01:12:04,888 --> 01:12:06,354 I'm confident it won't, 1319 01:12:06,356 --> 01:12:09,157 I know we're all on the same page, now. 1320 01:12:09,159 --> 01:12:10,491 I feel this is really my fault, guys, 1321 01:12:10,493 --> 01:12:11,225 I mean, - Ellis, 1322 01:12:11,227 --> 01:12:13,561 Ellis, don't be silly. 1323 01:12:13,563 --> 01:12:15,163 Either way, it's all under the bridge, 1324 01:12:15,165 --> 01:12:17,332 we're good, okay? 1325 01:12:19,869 --> 01:12:22,136 Okay, thank you 1326 01:12:22,138 --> 01:12:24,472 for that therapy footage exclusive, by the way. 1327 01:12:24,474 --> 01:12:26,741 That was fascinating and insightful 1328 01:12:26,743 --> 01:12:29,577 and very candid. 1329 01:12:29,579 --> 01:12:30,579 How's that going? 1330 01:12:32,749 --> 01:12:35,483 I can't see how it could be going any better. 1331 01:12:35,485 --> 01:12:38,319 Doctor Solov has been absolutely wonderful. 1332 01:12:38,321 --> 01:12:41,556 She's making a substantial difference in my life. 1333 01:12:41,558 --> 01:12:44,192 How many times a week are you seeing her? 1334 01:12:44,194 --> 01:12:46,527 Twice, it was once, but I upped it to two. 1335 01:12:46,529 --> 01:12:50,465 One was too few, too far in between. 1336 01:12:50,467 --> 01:12:52,700 The sessions have been transformative, 1337 01:12:52,702 --> 01:12:54,902 and really encouraging 1338 01:12:54,904 --> 01:12:57,405 which is exactly what I need right now. 1339 01:12:57,407 --> 01:12:59,907 May I ask about the unscratchable itch? 1340 01:13:01,578 --> 01:13:04,746 It's still there, but drastically reduced. 1341 01:13:04,748 --> 01:13:07,882 See, impulse is impulse. 1342 01:13:07,884 --> 01:13:10,518 But with therapy comes understanding, 1343 01:13:10,520 --> 01:13:13,588 which manifests itself as self-control. 1344 01:13:13,590 --> 01:13:14,590 And how so? 1345 01:13:16,459 --> 01:13:19,660 I'm understanding the how's and why's, 1346 01:13:19,662 --> 01:13:22,663 the blips and bumps in this road map of life experiences 1347 01:13:22,665 --> 01:13:25,066 that make me Me. 1348 01:13:25,068 --> 01:13:26,667 So now, when there is an impulse, 1349 01:13:26,669 --> 01:13:28,035 I'm not longer caught off guard, 1350 01:13:28,037 --> 01:13:30,338 but I can instead stop 1351 01:13:30,340 --> 01:13:33,141 and think almost immediately. 1352 01:13:33,143 --> 01:13:35,476 And how Gabriella doing? 1353 01:13:35,478 --> 01:13:39,213 I mean, is she aware of the transition to come? 1354 01:13:39,215 --> 01:13:43,317 Yes, she just found out this morning, Mikayla told her. 1355 01:13:43,319 --> 01:13:45,887 Her reaction was odd, but not odd. 1356 01:13:48,391 --> 01:13:52,326 She reacted almost as if it was due time. 1357 01:13:52,328 --> 01:13:54,629 - Gabriella's reaction? - Yes, yes, 1358 01:13:54,631 --> 01:13:56,497 she acted as if she knew it was coming, 1359 01:13:56,499 --> 01:14:00,034 as if it was supposed to be, if that makes any sense. 1360 01:14:00,036 --> 01:14:01,202 That connection between the two of you 1361 01:14:01,204 --> 01:14:04,272 must be unbelievably palpable, 1362 01:14:04,274 --> 01:14:06,808 and she's only known you for a matter of weeks. 1363 01:14:06,810 --> 01:14:10,011 I know, I'm extremely grateful. 1364 01:14:10,013 --> 01:14:13,648 It feels like all this was fated. 1365 01:14:13,650 --> 01:14:16,217 Say Noel, do you think we could get together 1366 01:14:16,219 --> 01:14:17,985 and do some live shooting some time soon? 1367 01:14:17,987 --> 01:14:21,255 Would you feel up to that? 1368 01:14:21,257 --> 01:14:22,957 Absolutely, yes, I've been feeling better 1369 01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:24,459 and eager to help now. 1370 01:14:24,461 --> 01:14:27,228 But look boys, 1371 01:14:27,230 --> 01:14:29,230 nature's been calling and has now left several messages, 1372 01:14:29,232 --> 01:14:30,631 so why don't you message me when you want to meet 1373 01:14:30,633 --> 01:14:32,366 and we can sort out the details. 1374 01:14:32,368 --> 01:14:34,702 - Okay. - Okay, 1375 01:14:34,704 --> 01:14:36,070 looking forward to hearing about the final plans 1376 01:14:36,072 --> 01:14:38,473 and all the editing. 1377 01:14:38,475 --> 01:14:39,974 - I'll talk to you soon, okay? - Sounds good, 1378 01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:41,075 - bye, Noel. - Later. 1379 01:14:43,480 --> 01:14:45,580 Sometimes I wonder about his father. 1380 01:14:45,582 --> 01:14:47,615 How so? 1381 01:14:47,617 --> 01:14:49,017 I just feel like there's more there. 1382 01:15:17,380 --> 01:15:18,380 I want out. 1383 01:15:20,383 --> 01:15:22,049 I don't know how to... You don't know how, 1384 01:15:22,051 --> 01:15:23,051 how what, Noel? 1385 01:15:25,522 --> 01:15:26,687 - How to stop. - You have to be proud 1386 01:15:26,689 --> 01:15:28,756 of yourself. 1387 01:15:28,758 --> 01:15:32,026 Man, that was amazing in there. 1388 01:15:32,028 --> 01:15:34,362 You've wanted to change and better yourself, 1389 01:15:34,364 --> 01:15:35,630 and you have. 1390 01:15:35,632 --> 01:15:37,532 Then what the hell was that? 1391 01:15:37,534 --> 01:15:38,633 Why can't I stop that? 1392 01:15:40,203 --> 01:15:41,602 Why can't I control it? 1393 01:15:45,275 --> 01:15:47,341 I probably took a year off of that woman's life just through 1394 01:15:47,343 --> 01:15:49,010 - sheer terror alone. - No, that's nonsense, 1395 01:15:49,012 --> 01:15:51,646 and you know that not to be true. 1396 01:15:51,648 --> 01:15:55,950 Plus, let's call this a recovery, okay? 1397 01:15:55,952 --> 01:15:58,853 You've just begun this process. 1398 01:15:58,855 --> 01:16:03,090 You can't expect overnight shifts or sudden epiphanies. 1399 01:16:03,092 --> 01:16:05,826 You're putting in the work and the time. 1400 01:16:05,828 --> 01:16:07,228 And you've come leaping and bounding 1401 01:16:07,230 --> 01:16:10,031 from where you once were. 1402 01:16:10,033 --> 01:16:11,566 It's not the same, Errol. 1403 01:16:14,971 --> 01:16:17,204 It's different, once you've done it 1404 01:16:17,206 --> 01:16:19,273 and you've gotten away with it, the fear is gone. 1405 01:16:19,275 --> 01:16:22,810 The stigma, the hesitation, it's gone. 1406 01:16:22,812 --> 01:16:23,945 It's gone for good. 1407 01:16:25,982 --> 01:16:27,281 Everything is changes. 1408 01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:31,320 It changes. 1409 01:16:33,856 --> 01:16:36,290 You're gonna be okay, 1410 01:16:36,292 --> 01:16:38,292 and not just for your own sake. 1411 01:16:44,434 --> 01:16:45,434 I have to be. 1412 01:16:48,838 --> 01:16:50,404 I quite have to be, don't I? 1413 01:16:57,080 --> 01:16:59,413 So she comes outside. 1414 01:16:59,415 --> 01:17:00,881 And keep in mind, she just recently moved in, 1415 01:17:00,883 --> 01:17:01,983 so she's getting to know everyone, 1416 01:17:01,985 --> 01:17:03,017 she's getting her bearings, 1417 01:17:03,019 --> 01:17:04,518 - you know. - It's so wonderful 1418 01:17:04,520 --> 01:17:06,887 to hear about the rest of your family, too. 1419 01:17:06,889 --> 01:17:09,156 Oh, Alisha, she's wonderful. 1420 01:17:09,158 --> 01:17:10,257 She's a great spirit. 1421 01:17:13,630 --> 01:17:15,079 - Mom's side? - Yes. 1422 01:17:15,080 --> 01:17:16,529 So she comes outside, and this is in Florida. 1423 01:17:16,532 --> 01:17:18,065 And she sees this old woman harvesting these oranges 1424 01:17:18,067 --> 01:17:20,134 across the way. 1425 01:17:20,136 --> 01:17:21,602 Being all bubbly and friendly as Alisha is, 1426 01:17:21,604 --> 01:17:22,603 she practically runs towards this woman 1427 01:17:22,605 --> 01:17:24,105 and introduces herself. 1428 01:17:24,107 --> 01:17:25,506 She says, "Hi, my name's Alisha Morgan", 1429 01:17:25,508 --> 01:17:28,643 "I just moved in, what's your name?" 1430 01:17:28,645 --> 01:17:30,578 The old woman looks at her, she nods for a second, 1431 01:17:30,580 --> 01:17:33,180 and says, "Jess Picken." 1432 01:17:33,182 --> 01:17:35,449 So, Alisha says, "Nice to meet you, Jess Picken." 1433 01:17:35,451 --> 01:17:37,485 And for a few weeks, every time that Alisha sees this woman, 1434 01:17:37,487 --> 01:17:41,122 she says, "Hi, Jess Picken," or "Good morning, Jess Picken." 1435 01:17:41,124 --> 01:17:43,958 then about a month later, the landlady comes by. 1436 01:17:43,960 --> 01:17:45,960 Alisha had a runny sink or something. 1437 01:17:45,962 --> 01:17:48,162 And the old lady comes out, 1438 01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:51,032 and the landlady yells out, "Good morning, Verna." 1439 01:17:51,034 --> 01:17:52,099 And Alisha's all confused, she said, 1440 01:17:52,101 --> 01:17:54,168 "Why did you just call Jess Verna?" 1441 01:17:54,170 --> 01:17:56,337 Landlady shakes her head, 1442 01:17:56,339 --> 01:17:58,105 and Alisha continues, says, "No, no", 1443 01:17:58,107 --> 01:17:59,707 "I asked her what her name was," 1444 01:17:59,709 --> 01:18:02,710 "and she it was Jess Picken." 1445 01:18:02,712 --> 01:18:04,679 Landlady bursts out laughing. 1446 01:18:04,681 --> 01:18:06,580 She explains to Alisha 1447 01:18:06,582 --> 01:18:09,350 that the woman probably said, "Just Picking." 1448 01:18:09,352 --> 01:18:11,419 She takes the oranges from the tree 1449 01:18:11,421 --> 01:18:14,488 and sells them at a farmer's market on the Sundays. 1450 01:18:14,490 --> 01:18:16,390 And so, for the better part of the month, 1451 01:18:16,392 --> 01:18:18,659 Alisha had been calling this woman Just Picking. 1452 01:18:20,963 --> 01:18:21,963 So Noel, 1453 01:18:23,099 --> 01:18:24,999 what are your hopes and/or goals 1454 01:18:25,001 --> 01:18:27,601 of things to learn and discover 1455 01:18:27,603 --> 01:18:30,304 throughout the rest of the making of this documentary, 1456 01:18:30,306 --> 01:18:34,375 now that we've come so far and are winding down a bit? 1457 01:18:34,377 --> 01:18:37,011 You know, that's a solid question, Errol. 1458 01:18:38,648 --> 01:18:40,581 I've learned a whole lot, 1459 01:18:40,583 --> 01:18:44,385 and what I wanted to learn during this process. 1460 01:18:44,387 --> 01:18:45,753 Now, it'll be about the implementation 1461 01:18:45,755 --> 01:18:48,689 of what it is that I've learned. 1462 01:18:48,691 --> 01:18:51,025 Are you pleased that you went on this journey with us? 1463 01:18:51,027 --> 01:18:52,027 I truly am. 1464 01:18:53,896 --> 01:18:55,696 I owe you gentlemen a whole lot, 1465 01:18:55,698 --> 01:18:58,265 and I plan on finding a way to pay you back. 1466 01:18:58,267 --> 01:19:01,302 No, we are indebted and forever grateful to you. 1467 01:19:04,874 --> 01:19:07,475 If you have one goal as a father, 1468 01:19:07,477 --> 01:19:10,144 and a new father at that, what would it be? 1469 01:19:11,781 --> 01:19:12,781 To not be mine. 1470 01:19:15,184 --> 01:19:19,120 To not fail, to not be weak, but to be strong. 1471 01:19:19,122 --> 01:19:21,155 And not just for one, but for two. 1472 01:19:23,359 --> 01:19:26,560 If you could say one thing to Gabriella right now 1473 01:19:26,562 --> 01:19:29,497 as life advice going forward, what would you say? 1474 01:19:32,034 --> 01:19:33,100 Love yourself. 1475 01:19:35,071 --> 01:19:38,439 Cherish who you are, all your inner workings, 1476 01:19:38,441 --> 01:19:40,407 all your little tics, everything. 1477 01:19:43,546 --> 01:19:44,645 And don't fear anyone, 1478 01:19:46,783 --> 01:19:48,549 especially don't fear yourself. 1479 01:19:51,754 --> 01:19:54,622 How have kids changed now from when you were her age? 1480 01:19:56,492 --> 01:19:57,658 Kids need to be kids. 1481 01:20:00,763 --> 01:20:03,664 But today, they have much less time to be themselves. 1482 01:20:05,268 --> 01:20:07,735 They grow up so much faster, 1483 01:20:07,737 --> 01:20:10,104 they lose their innocence sooner. 1484 01:20:13,676 --> 01:20:16,343 I have this friend at work, his name's Earl. 1485 01:20:18,481 --> 01:20:20,147 He talks about what a nightmare it is 1486 01:20:20,149 --> 01:20:23,984 watching his teenage daughter go out at night. 1487 01:20:23,986 --> 01:20:24,885 One thing he said that always stuck with me 1488 01:20:24,887 --> 01:20:27,121 is that he won't let her 1489 01:20:27,123 --> 01:20:29,223 become strawberry-flavored plastic. 1490 01:20:32,495 --> 01:20:35,629 Super-sweet, faking an innocent facade, 1491 01:20:38,100 --> 01:20:41,335 with a faulty venire of adulthood 1492 01:20:41,337 --> 01:20:43,170 and worldliness all condensed 1493 01:20:43,172 --> 01:20:45,539 in a tiny frame that really knows neither. 1494 01:20:50,880 --> 01:20:52,479 Of all the poor generations, 1495 01:20:55,117 --> 01:20:59,119 they thought they had it all figured out by age 18, 1496 01:20:59,121 --> 01:21:01,522 only to find out that they weren't equipped 1497 01:21:01,524 --> 01:21:04,058 what was needed to handle the real world. 1498 01:21:07,797 --> 01:21:12,166 And that's why I'm not just gonna be a father to Gabriella. 1499 01:21:12,168 --> 01:21:14,235 I want to be her guardian angel, 1500 01:21:16,539 --> 01:21:19,974 and I'm gonna be her best friend for a while there, too. 1501 01:21:19,976 --> 01:21:21,275 That's lovely, Noel. 1502 01:21:24,647 --> 01:21:26,213 I guess the silver lining 1503 01:21:26,215 --> 01:21:29,783 and growing up in a loveless and desolate hell 1504 01:21:29,785 --> 01:21:32,887 and watching it make a monster out of me is that 1505 01:21:32,889 --> 01:21:34,188 I know how I got here. 1506 01:21:36,592 --> 01:21:39,059 And that's valuable knowledge to accrue. 1507 01:21:42,164 --> 01:21:43,597 I think I'll have the Cavetelli Sausage. 1508 01:21:43,599 --> 01:21:45,666 Ooh, good choice. 1509 01:21:45,668 --> 01:21:46,734 A bit much, but... 1510 01:21:46,736 --> 01:21:47,835 But I'll bite. 1511 01:21:47,837 --> 01:21:48,903 Yeah, well, you bite. 1512 01:21:51,540 --> 01:21:53,507 I think I'll get the Ino Truffle Egg Toast for myself. 1513 01:21:53,509 --> 01:21:55,009 Good choice. 1514 01:21:55,011 --> 01:21:56,911 Well, I'm ready. 1515 01:21:56,913 --> 01:21:58,946 Gentlemen, my I propose a toast? 1516 01:22:00,750 --> 01:22:01,750 To Noel, 1517 01:22:03,185 --> 01:22:05,252 for being so open and this selfless. 1518 01:22:08,057 --> 01:22:11,759 To you, to Gabriella and to your future. 1519 01:22:11,761 --> 01:22:12,927 - Cheers. - Cheers. 1520 01:22:14,597 --> 01:22:15,597 Cheers. 1521 01:22:21,170 --> 01:22:22,202 Noel, you okay? 1522 01:22:24,573 --> 01:22:25,573 Noel? 1523 01:22:29,679 --> 01:22:30,679 Noel? 1524 01:22:42,525 --> 01:22:45,125 Good evening, you sack of severed horse sticks. 1525 01:22:47,096 --> 01:22:48,529 You shut up before I come over there 1526 01:22:48,531 --> 01:22:51,065 and fuck-start your face until the whole room stinks, 1527 01:22:51,067 --> 01:22:52,333 and your shirt runs off like with the stench 1528 01:22:52,335 --> 01:22:54,134 - of my balls. - Jesus Christ! 1529 01:22:54,136 --> 01:22:55,869 What's the news, crumb? 1530 01:22:55,871 --> 01:22:57,137 Why don't you can the commentary 1531 01:22:57,139 --> 01:22:59,340 and keep munching on your whop kipple? 1532 01:22:59,342 --> 01:23:01,342 You remember me? 1533 01:23:01,344 --> 01:23:03,310 - No. - Aww, come on, fourth grade, 1534 01:23:03,312 --> 01:23:05,279 do you remember me, fourth grade? 1535 01:23:07,083 --> 01:23:08,749 You cheated at a game of checkers 1536 01:23:08,751 --> 01:23:10,184 to make me look like an utter fool 1537 01:23:10,186 --> 01:23:11,919 in front of Mallory Waters. 1538 01:23:14,090 --> 01:23:16,857 Mallory Waters! 1539 01:23:16,859 --> 01:23:19,893 And now look at you, you scoundrel! 1540 01:23:19,895 --> 01:23:21,562 Looks like any hussy with two legs 1541 01:23:21,564 --> 01:23:23,497 and a watery crevice between her thighs 1542 01:23:23,499 --> 01:23:25,799 and a chest bigger than yours will do, won't it? 1543 01:23:25,801 --> 01:23:27,868 Is she a hooker? 1544 01:23:27,870 --> 01:23:29,970 She smells like squirrels fucking. 1545 01:23:29,972 --> 01:23:31,472 Life lesson, doll, 1546 01:23:31,474 --> 01:23:34,975 don't buy your perfume from the CVS! 1547 01:23:34,977 --> 01:23:36,677 I should pound her little ruby starfruit 1548 01:23:36,679 --> 01:23:39,313 like a crochet mallet and send you the bill afterwards. 1549 01:23:39,315 --> 01:23:41,448 Oh, does that get the reproach 1550 01:23:41,450 --> 01:23:43,550 you squirting out of your scatch? 1551 01:23:43,552 --> 01:23:45,719 I should rip your innards out with a pitchfork 1552 01:23:45,721 --> 01:23:48,022 and hang 'em on New York's tallest monuments! 1553 01:23:48,024 --> 01:23:49,056 Modern art, baby! 1554 01:23:51,427 --> 01:23:53,961 No, stand there, I'm not gonna touch him! 1555 01:23:55,698 --> 01:23:56,698 You scum. 1556 01:23:58,801 --> 01:23:59,801 One! 1557 01:24:00,936 --> 01:24:01,936 Two! 1558 01:24:04,173 --> 01:24:05,173 Three! 1559 01:24:06,842 --> 01:24:09,343 You should of been shot into a sock, 1560 01:24:09,345 --> 01:24:11,111 or your mother's practice throat, 1561 01:24:11,113 --> 01:24:13,013 not to be left to infiltrate 1562 01:24:13,015 --> 01:24:15,749 fine dining establishments like this, 1563 01:24:15,751 --> 01:24:20,454 with your vial putrid immorality and your whore wife! 1564 01:24:20,456 --> 01:24:23,123 You're gonna king me, you wanna king me? 1565 01:24:23,125 --> 01:24:24,825 You scum, you harlot! 1566 01:24:24,827 --> 01:24:25,827 You swine! 1567 01:24:27,930 --> 01:24:30,330 The black plague started with fleas on a rat. 1568 01:24:30,332 --> 01:24:32,633 Take a look in the mirror, and tell me what you see. 1569 01:24:32,635 --> 01:24:34,334 Take a look, you scum, 1570 01:24:34,336 --> 01:24:35,502 - take a look! - Come on. 1571 01:24:43,946 --> 01:24:45,846 Get a life, bitch! 1572 01:24:45,848 --> 01:24:48,348 Come on, come on, come on. 1573 01:24:48,350 --> 01:24:50,551 Right now, we're putting the final touches 1574 01:24:50,553 --> 01:24:53,987 of the beginning touches of this beautiful doll house. 1575 01:24:57,059 --> 01:24:59,526 Look at that, honey. 1576 01:25:02,031 --> 01:25:03,497 Show them my pictures. 1577 01:25:04,800 --> 01:25:06,633 Who, what? 1578 01:25:06,635 --> 01:25:09,636 - Show them my pictures. - Show who the pictures? 1579 01:25:13,609 --> 01:25:15,742 Oh, 1580 01:25:15,744 --> 01:25:18,612 you want to show the camera people your pictures, okay. 1581 01:25:21,016 --> 01:25:24,251 Let's see, more pictures. 1582 01:25:29,391 --> 01:25:30,391 Look at that. 1583 01:25:32,928 --> 01:25:34,428 Look at that. 1584 01:25:41,570 --> 01:25:42,536 See, when I was young, 1585 01:25:42,538 --> 01:25:46,106 whenever I drew something or offered, 1586 01:25:46,108 --> 01:25:47,307 so after I created anything really, 1587 01:25:47,309 --> 01:25:50,043 I'd always do something odd with my name. 1588 01:25:50,045 --> 01:25:52,646 I'd sign it differently or spell it backwards 1589 01:25:52,648 --> 01:25:56,116 or change something about it. 1590 01:25:56,118 --> 01:25:58,986 Seems like Gabriella likes to do the same thing. 1591 01:26:01,557 --> 01:26:03,257 Look at that. 1592 01:26:03,259 --> 01:26:07,261 Honey, where did you see this? 1593 01:26:07,263 --> 01:26:09,163 Did you see this in a picture? 1594 01:26:11,133 --> 01:26:13,667 Is it from your noggin? 1595 01:26:13,669 --> 01:26:14,902 From your head, yeah? 1596 01:26:19,041 --> 01:26:20,041 Look at that. 1597 01:26:22,511 --> 01:26:23,511 See? 1598 01:26:26,615 --> 01:26:30,851 Those back doors are closed right now. 1599 01:26:30,853 --> 01:26:34,021 Maybe it's a sign, paradise. 1600 01:26:36,792 --> 01:26:37,925 Could it be a sign? 1601 01:26:42,565 --> 01:26:44,064 The doors are closed. 1602 01:28:26,935 --> 01:28:27,935 Noel, Noel! 1603 01:29:55,858 --> 01:29:59,359 ♪ All the color the right shade ♪ 1604 01:29:59,361 --> 01:30:02,829 ♪ All the nights they turn to day ♪ 1605 01:30:02,831 --> 01:30:06,299 ♪ All the sound in unison ♪ 1606 01:30:06,301 --> 01:30:09,936 ♪ All the fabric mold as one ♪ 1607 01:30:09,938 --> 01:30:14,107 ♪ All the demons won't escape ♪ 1608 01:30:14,109 --> 01:30:17,043 ♪ The tide of tempted fate ♪ 1609 01:30:18,914 --> 01:30:20,781 ♪ 'Cause I have you ♪ 1610 01:30:20,783 --> 01:30:24,618 ♪ You you you you you you you ♪ 1611 01:30:24,620 --> 01:30:28,088 ♪ You you you you you you you ♪ 1612 01:30:28,090 --> 01:30:31,892 ♪ You you you you you you you ♪ 1613 01:30:31,894 --> 01:30:35,629 ♪ You you you you you you you ♪ 1614 01:30:35,631 --> 01:30:37,364 ♪ Becoming of age ♪ 1615 01:30:37,366 --> 01:30:40,300 ♪ And I don't care anymore ♪ 1616 01:30:42,671 --> 01:30:44,805 ♪ You coming my way ♪ 1617 01:30:44,807 --> 01:30:47,574 ♪ And I won't swear anymore ♪ 1618 01:30:50,145 --> 01:30:53,814 ♪ Candles do just fine tonight ♪ 1619 01:30:53,816 --> 01:30:57,250 ♪ Blankets both for us to hide ♪ 1620 01:30:57,252 --> 01:30:59,853 ♪ And I don't need a yard ♪ 1621 01:30:59,855 --> 01:31:02,489 ♪ With you are two apart ♪ 1622 01:31:04,793 --> 01:31:08,428 ♪ Not a lot this not to give ♪ 1623 01:31:08,430 --> 01:31:11,898 ♪ I don't need that much to live ♪ 1624 01:31:11,900 --> 01:31:14,835 ♪ Underneath the sun ♪ 1625 01:31:14,837 --> 01:31:18,805 ♪ Me plus you it's us as one ♪ 1626 01:31:34,256 --> 01:31:37,357 ♪ La-Da-Da-Da-La... Da-Da-Da-La-Da-Da ♪ 1627 01:31:39,595 --> 01:31:42,929 ♪ Oh La-Da-La-Da-Da-da ♪ 1628 01:31:42,931 --> 01:31:46,333 ♪ La-Da-Da-Da-La-Da-Da-Da ♪ 1629 01:32:04,653 --> 01:32:07,521 Noel, how the hell do get up this early every morning? 1630 01:32:10,158 --> 01:32:11,391 You get used to it. 1631 01:32:13,929 --> 01:32:17,964 ♪ All the demons won't escape ♪ 1632 01:32:17,966 --> 01:32:20,667 ♪ The tide of tempted fate ♪ 1633 01:32:22,938 --> 01:32:25,171 ♪ 'Cause I have you ♪ 1634 01:32:42,157 --> 01:32:43,156 These are awesome. 1635 01:32:43,157 --> 01:32:44,156 I'm fully aware I'm being that annoying father right now 1636 01:32:44,159 --> 01:32:45,792 showing you these pictures you don't give a crap about. 1637 01:32:45,794 --> 01:32:48,795 But frankly, I don't give a shit. 1638 01:32:48,797 --> 01:32:50,564 Of course we care. 1639 01:32:50,566 --> 01:32:53,166 It's fascinating how quickly you become doting. 1640 01:32:53,168 --> 01:32:54,100 Four weeks ago, if someone tried to do this to me, 1641 01:32:54,102 --> 01:32:55,235 I'd want to rip out their larynx 1642 01:32:55,237 --> 01:32:57,037 and show it to their mother. 1643 01:32:59,041 --> 01:33:02,842 Not literally, just to be clear. 1644 01:33:02,844 --> 01:33:05,211 - That's unbelievable. - What, exactly? 1645 01:33:05,213 --> 01:33:06,746 No, say that again. 1646 01:33:06,748 --> 01:33:09,950 - Say what? - For the camera about... 1647 01:33:09,952 --> 01:33:11,484 - About what? - About your routine. 1648 01:33:11,486 --> 01:33:12,486 Oh. 1649 01:33:15,023 --> 01:33:16,523 I've had the same routine every single morning 1650 01:33:16,525 --> 01:33:17,891 for seven years now. 1651 01:33:17,893 --> 01:33:19,626 With no change, whatsoever. 1652 01:33:19,628 --> 01:33:21,228 Well, that's what makes it routine, 1653 01:33:21,229 --> 01:33:22,829 - Errol. - Yeah, I know, but still. 1654 01:33:22,831 --> 01:33:25,265 Take us through it. 1655 01:33:25,267 --> 01:33:27,233 Every morning, I wake up at 4:37 a.m. 1656 01:33:27,235 --> 01:33:28,235 Why? 1657 01:33:28,937 --> 01:33:31,237 I don't know, 1658 01:33:31,239 --> 01:33:33,807 because it's later than 4:35 a.m. 1659 01:33:33,809 --> 01:33:35,875 So in my mind, psychologically, I'm gaming the system 1660 01:33:35,877 --> 01:33:37,844 by getting two minutes of extra sleep. 1661 01:33:37,846 --> 01:33:41,014 Besides, 4:40 a.m. is too late. 1662 01:33:41,016 --> 01:33:43,950 Operating on fives and 10s, it's arbitrary to me. 1663 01:33:46,888 --> 01:33:48,121 - It's good? - Yeah. 1664 01:33:49,458 --> 01:33:50,458 Good. 1665 01:34:00,569 --> 01:34:02,002 You're gonna be losing light soon here, man. 1666 01:34:02,004 --> 01:34:04,204 Oh, we're losing light. 1667 01:34:04,206 --> 01:34:05,205 Why the hell did Norman 1668 01:34:05,207 --> 01:34:07,374 send everybody off early? 1669 01:34:07,376 --> 01:34:10,143 120 Apple Street's got to get finished by tomorrow. 1670 01:34:10,145 --> 01:34:12,579 He couldn't of left one other guy? 1671 01:34:12,581 --> 01:34:16,049 I suppose he thought we were sufficient. 1672 01:34:16,051 --> 01:34:19,486 By the way, what are you feeding this guy, anyway, ecstasy? 1673 01:34:19,488 --> 01:34:22,555 And half the time, he's smiling like a goddamn lunatic. 1674 01:34:22,557 --> 01:34:24,324 Nobody smiles at work. 1675 01:34:24,326 --> 01:34:25,225 Maybe he's on the verge of something 1676 01:34:25,226 --> 01:34:26,125 that makes him happy, I don't know. 1677 01:34:26,128 --> 01:34:27,861 - Maybe. - Yeah. 1678 01:34:27,863 --> 01:34:30,930 Still, I think he's becoming 1679 01:34:30,932 --> 01:34:32,532 - squirrely. - Squirrely? 1680 01:34:32,534 --> 01:34:34,200 Yeah. 1681 01:34:34,202 --> 01:34:36,403 Why do you have to say that about Noel? 1682 01:34:36,405 --> 01:34:39,139 I'm squirrely I guess, what can I say? 1683 01:34:39,141 --> 01:34:41,107 I don't know which one's worse, 1684 01:34:41,109 --> 01:34:42,676 this Noel or the Noel that half the time 1685 01:34:42,678 --> 01:34:45,178 looks like he could kill a mother fucker. 1686 01:34:48,150 --> 01:34:49,683 I'm just concerned that at some point, 1687 01:34:49,685 --> 01:34:52,419 we'll be shooting just to shoot, you know? 1688 01:34:52,421 --> 01:34:53,586 I mean, I don't want to spend the money, 1689 01:34:53,588 --> 01:34:55,989 or more importantly, the time continuing 1690 01:34:55,991 --> 01:34:58,625 when we really do have enough. 1691 01:34:58,627 --> 01:35:00,593 Yeah, I completely agree. 1692 01:35:00,595 --> 01:35:02,295 It's funny. 1693 01:35:02,297 --> 01:35:03,730 There's been a few times where I've almost said, 1694 01:35:03,732 --> 01:35:06,332 "That's a wrap." 1695 01:35:06,334 --> 01:35:09,102 But I feel like this really is that moment. 1696 01:35:09,104 --> 01:35:10,370 Well, it must be, 1697 01:35:10,372 --> 01:35:11,852 or now, we wouldn't be filming, right? 1698 01:35:12,240 --> 01:35:13,807 Document everything, as we always say 1699 01:35:13,809 --> 01:35:15,175 because you never know. 1700 01:35:15,177 --> 01:35:18,344 Oh my God, oh my God! 1701 01:35:18,346 --> 01:35:19,946 - Lana? - What's happening? 1702 01:35:23,485 --> 01:35:24,485 Oh God, oh God. 1703 01:35:26,855 --> 01:35:29,522 - What are you watching? - What is this! 1704 01:35:29,524 --> 01:35:30,824 What is this, what is wrong with you! 1705 01:35:30,826 --> 01:35:32,258 Why is this in our house! 1706 01:35:34,229 --> 01:35:36,396 So Noel, as much as I enjoy 1707 01:35:36,398 --> 01:35:38,598 weighing the positives and negatives of my potentially 1708 01:35:38,600 --> 01:35:41,534 taking the coaching job at the middle school, 1709 01:35:41,536 --> 01:35:44,437 what's the big announcement that you wanted to tell us? 1710 01:35:44,439 --> 01:35:46,673 Gentlemen, this will be our final correspondence, 1711 01:35:46,675 --> 01:35:49,309 at least for a while. 1712 01:35:49,311 --> 01:35:51,377 I've been planning something catastrophically large, 1713 01:35:51,379 --> 01:35:53,813 and there's a good chance this will be 1714 01:35:53,815 --> 01:35:55,915 the last time I will talk to you. 1715 01:35:55,917 --> 01:35:58,284 How do you mean? 1716 01:35:58,286 --> 01:36:00,186 I'm afraid I can't elaborate. 1717 01:36:00,188 --> 01:36:02,122 I'll have to leave it there. 1718 01:36:02,124 --> 01:36:03,056 That sounds rather menacing, Noel, 1719 01:36:03,058 --> 01:36:05,558 especially after the positive. 1720 01:36:05,560 --> 01:36:07,427 Oh no, the positive is still there, I assure you. 1721 01:36:07,429 --> 01:36:09,696 This is just 1722 01:36:09,698 --> 01:36:12,298 that last leg of my therapy, if you will. 1723 01:36:12,300 --> 01:36:14,033 Did you say, "Catastrophic," 1724 01:36:14,035 --> 01:36:15,969 or, "Catastrophically large?" 1725 01:36:15,971 --> 01:36:18,872 - He said, "Large," after. - Did he, did you? 1726 01:36:18,874 --> 01:36:20,039 Let's just say this will be 1727 01:36:20,041 --> 01:36:23,543 the most significant contribution of my life. 1728 01:36:23,545 --> 01:36:27,514 I've been working towards this for a very long time, now. 1729 01:36:27,516 --> 01:36:29,682 Will you be in the lurch, 1730 01:36:29,684 --> 01:36:33,620 or did you get everything that you need to get from me? 1731 01:36:33,622 --> 01:36:35,655 Funny, Noel, we were just discussing that the other night. 1732 01:36:35,657 --> 01:36:38,324 And we have concluded that yes, indeed, 1733 01:36:38,326 --> 01:36:40,860 we've captured everything that we wanted to. 1734 01:36:40,862 --> 01:36:43,263 Splendid, well, 1735 01:36:43,265 --> 01:36:44,731 let's not make this too heavy of a goodbye 1736 01:36:44,733 --> 01:36:46,733 since it's on Skype and all, 1737 01:36:46,735 --> 01:36:49,435 and I'm not really too keen on them, anyway. 1738 01:36:49,437 --> 01:36:51,871 Will you be in touch? 1739 01:36:51,873 --> 01:36:54,040 Yes, when the time is right, 1740 01:36:54,042 --> 01:36:55,175 I will be in touch. 1741 01:36:56,812 --> 01:36:58,478 Take care of yourself, Noel. 1742 01:36:58,480 --> 01:36:59,879 And more importantly, 1743 01:36:59,881 --> 01:37:01,848 take care of Gabriella. 1744 01:37:01,850 --> 01:37:03,049 Check and check. 1745 01:37:03,051 --> 01:37:04,684 Whoa, whoa, wait, wait. 1746 01:37:04,686 --> 01:37:06,085 How will this story end? 1747 01:37:06,087 --> 01:37:07,554 How will your story end? 1748 01:37:11,026 --> 01:37:13,593 With the happiest and poppyest of melodies. 1749 01:37:15,630 --> 01:37:17,931 The best to both of you and your families. 1750 01:37:17,933 --> 01:37:20,066 Thank you, any final words for us? 1751 01:37:24,239 --> 01:37:27,207 This is Noel Rose, signing off the grid. 1752 01:37:28,777 --> 01:37:30,076 Honey, please. 1753 01:37:35,317 --> 01:37:36,783 Look don't do this. 1754 01:37:36,784 --> 01:37:38,250 You don't know Noel like I do. 1755 01:37:38,253 --> 01:37:39,118 He loves Gabriella. 1756 01:37:39,120 --> 01:37:40,486 Baby please, just listen to me. 1757 01:37:40,488 --> 01:37:42,088 Just hang up the phone, and listen to me. 1758 01:37:42,090 --> 01:37:42,856 Just talk to me for a second, 1759 01:37:42,858 --> 01:37:43,990 please Lana. 1760 01:37:47,796 --> 01:37:50,163 Baby, just listen to me. 1761 01:37:50,165 --> 01:37:52,165 No, don't. 1762 01:37:52,167 --> 01:37:53,700 Babe don't do it. 1763 01:37:53,702 --> 01:37:55,935 Just hang up the phone and talk to me. 1764 01:37:55,937 --> 01:37:58,438 Just hang up their phone and talk to me, please. 1765 01:38:06,648 --> 01:38:08,414 One, two, three, 1766 01:38:08,416 --> 01:38:09,416 there ya go. 1767 01:38:11,219 --> 01:38:13,119 Let's get you buckled in, huh? 1768 01:38:18,860 --> 01:38:20,560 Are you warm enough, yeah? 1769 01:38:31,172 --> 01:38:32,538 It's not too tight? 1770 01:38:32,540 --> 01:38:33,540 Okay. 1771 01:38:52,861 --> 01:38:55,395 Yay! 1772 01:38:55,397 --> 01:38:57,630 Do you think this is a really temporary place for it? 1773 01:38:57,632 --> 01:38:58,632 I do. 1774 01:39:02,570 --> 01:39:06,539 Gabby, can I ask you something without you being afraid? 1775 01:39:06,541 --> 01:39:07,541 Are you afraid? 1776 01:39:09,277 --> 01:39:12,912 I'm never afraid when I'm with you, daddy. 1777 01:39:12,914 --> 01:39:14,514 I love you, Gabriella. 1778 01:39:14,516 --> 01:39:16,149 I love you, too. 1779 01:39:16,151 --> 01:39:17,450 Are you ready to go? 1780 01:39:18,720 --> 01:39:19,720 Alright. 1781 01:42:12,961 --> 01:42:16,028 I was gonna start at the beginning. 1782 01:42:16,030 --> 01:42:17,530 I was gonna start at the... 1783 01:45:00,962 --> 01:45:02,295 Interesting to hear you say that, Noel, 1784 01:45:02,297 --> 01:45:06,265 because it is all about perception, right? 1785 01:45:06,267 --> 01:45:08,334 I think for us as filmmakers and for the audience 1786 01:45:08,336 --> 01:45:10,236 it's important. 1787 01:45:10,238 --> 01:45:11,971 No, actually, it's absolutely imperative 1788 01:45:11,973 --> 01:45:14,407 that we don't try to mince words 1789 01:45:14,409 --> 01:45:17,009 or hide behind anything that we could possibly hide behind 1790 01:45:17,011 --> 01:45:19,245 should we feel threatened 1791 01:45:19,247 --> 01:45:23,482 or uncertain of purpose or direction. 1792 01:45:23,484 --> 01:45:25,985 I mean, we've spoken about that at length, Noel. 1793 01:45:25,987 --> 01:45:29,322 So, to that end, I have to ask, 1794 01:45:32,060 --> 01:45:33,659 do you consider yourself to be a serial killer? 1795 01:45:33,661 --> 01:45:36,095 Does that apply to you? 1796 01:45:36,097 --> 01:45:37,530 The term serial killer. 1797 01:45:40,034 --> 01:45:42,401 Society, people these days, 1798 01:45:42,403 --> 01:45:43,669 they have too vague of an interest 1799 01:45:43,671 --> 01:45:46,339 in the specific acute learning of something. 1800 01:45:49,277 --> 01:45:53,045 It's far more superior, but far more difficult 1801 01:45:53,047 --> 01:45:54,747 to acquire knowledge and have a firm understanding 1802 01:45:54,749 --> 01:45:56,582 as opposed to applying a label 1803 01:45:56,584 --> 01:45:58,351 and then conditioning your mind 1804 01:45:58,353 --> 01:46:01,554 to see the label, not what's behind it. 1805 01:46:01,556 --> 01:46:03,155 So yes, by definition, you could apply a label to me 1806 01:46:03,157 --> 01:46:06,125 and you would be accurate. 1807 01:46:06,127 --> 01:46:10,262 But it's all impulse, isn't it? 1808 01:46:10,264 --> 01:46:12,231 If I was to drag your impulses in the middle of the street, 1809 01:46:12,233 --> 01:46:13,666 I think I could do a swell job 1810 01:46:13,668 --> 01:46:15,868 of turning you out to be some spawn of the devil 1811 01:46:15,870 --> 01:46:17,002 or unsavory spirit. 1812 01:46:20,108 --> 01:46:22,575 See, these labels, they create vague ideas, 1813 01:46:22,577 --> 01:46:23,776 and with vague ideas, 1814 01:46:23,778 --> 01:46:26,512 you can make anyone out to be 1815 01:46:26,514 --> 01:46:27,546 a monster or a demon. 1816 01:46:30,518 --> 01:46:32,518 That's what people do when they don't understand 1817 01:46:32,520 --> 01:46:34,600 or when they wish not to, so I am not offended by it. 1818 01:46:38,426 --> 01:46:40,226 See, it creates a troublesome state of affairs 1819 01:46:40,228 --> 01:46:42,461 for those who fall under that category. 1820 01:46:45,933 --> 01:46:48,934 Especially for those who don't. 1821 01:46:53,741 --> 01:46:56,242 Do you have any rules? 1822 01:46:56,244 --> 01:46:57,244 Mm-hm. 1823 01:46:58,880 --> 01:47:00,312 No women and no children. 1824 01:47:06,087 --> 01:47:07,186 I'm just kidding. 1825 01:47:14,050 --> 01:47:22,050 Subtitles by ViSHAL www.OpenSubtitles.org 132173

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