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1
00:00:04,660 --> 00:00:06,300
Oh, hello, Kath!
2
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,380
Why don't you come inside
and cool off?
3
00:00:10,540 --> 00:00:12,500
We've got a fan.
4
00:00:12,540 --> 00:00:14,660
Oh, I don't mind if I do.
5
00:00:19,340 --> 00:00:21,179
Now, that's thoughtful.
6
00:00:21,180 --> 00:00:22,980
Keeping the customers cool.
7
00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:24,339
Oh.
8
00:00:24,340 --> 00:00:27,180
The interest of the customer
is always paramount.
9
00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:33,660
Now, where did you learn to lie
like that and look so honest?
10
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,340
Some say it's a gift.
11
00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:37,099
How's your Eric?
12
00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:41,019
He's still trying to rekindle
the excitement of our earlier years.
13
00:00:41,020 --> 00:00:44,339
What, on a Tuesday?
Can't he wait until the weekend?
14
00:00:44,340 --> 00:00:46,460
He'll be waiting longer than that.
15
00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:51,620
Well, I'm glad you called in
because these are on special offer.
16
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:54,899
Oh, aye. No, not to be repeated...
17
00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:57,940
Hot from the pan.
Where do you want it?
18
00:00:57,980 --> 00:00:59,379
Oh, yes.
19
00:00:59,380 --> 00:01:01,980
Just here.
Hang it over this grill here.
20
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:07,499
I've got the feeling I'm an innocent
party in one of your schemes.
21
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:11,740
Ha-ha! Watch and learn.
This is called proactive grocery.
22
00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:16,460
Have you got any salad?
23
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:25,140
Oh, that's a low down
sneaky thing to do.
24
00:01:25,180 --> 00:01:27,780
That Madge says I've got to slim!
25
00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:30,420
Will that be before or after
the bacon butty?
26
00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:32,379
After. OK, well...
27
00:01:32,380 --> 00:01:34,499
I don't want that bit.
28
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:37,739
No, this is for display
purposes only.
29
00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:40,900
Leroy, go and make Gastric
a fresh bacon butty.
30
00:02:57,620 --> 00:02:59,340
Sit!
31
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,700
This place smells
of yesterday's bacon.
32
00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:09,339
Sold a few bacon butties,
though, didn't we?
33
00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:12,580
You won't sell much this morning
with the place smelling like this.
34
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,420
There you are.
35
00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:20,139
It now smells "mountain fresh
with added Aloe vera".
36
00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:21,940
And yesterday's bacon.
37
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:27,420
Now, don't you start!
Well, what is it?
38
00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:30,300
It's mountain fresh
with added Aloe vera.
39
00:03:32,540 --> 00:03:34,260
And yesterday's bacon.
40
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:38,580
What would you like, Mr Newbold?
41
00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:40,020
Mrs Rossi.
42
00:03:41,620 --> 00:03:44,460
I mean, erm, tomato puree.
43
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,900
Why would I say Mrs Rossi?
44
00:03:52,340 --> 00:03:55,460
We do! We frequently do!
45
00:03:56,740 --> 00:03:58,900
You're up and about early.
46
00:04:01,860 --> 00:04:05,620
It's a bad morning for
lingering about the house.
47
00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:08,220
Oh, dear. What is it?
The wife again?
48
00:04:08,260 --> 00:04:11,979
The woman is a genius
at silent disapproval.
49
00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:14,579
And she ain't too bad
at full volume either!
50
00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:16,380
Don't look at me for sympathy.
51
00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:18,380
You don't know what trouble is
52
00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:21,179
until you've been invaded
by Mrs Featherstone.
53
00:04:21,180 --> 00:04:25,180
You'd be in experienced hands,
Mr Newbold.
54
00:04:25,220 --> 00:04:27,140
Mm. She's had three husbands.
55
00:04:27,180 --> 00:04:29,180
And look what happened to them!
56
00:04:29,220 --> 00:04:30,780
All dead.
57
00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:35,020
It's beginning to look
like the only way out.
58
00:04:44,380 --> 00:04:46,100
You know what?
59
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:50,820
We've been overlooking the pulling
power of the attractive scent.
60
00:04:50,860 --> 00:04:55,060
I think that's how Mr Newbold feels
since he discovered Mrs Rossi.
61
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:57,620
Has he discovered Mrs Rossi?
62
00:04:57,660 --> 00:05:00,060
I'm not saying he's
planted his flag.
63
00:05:02,940 --> 00:05:06,739
Well, I don't like him
straying from Mrs Featherstone.
64
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:10,100
I mean, if she loses him,
she sets her sights back on me!
65
00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:11,859
I think you'd make a lovely couple.
66
00:05:11,860 --> 00:05:14,860
Give over! Not even in jest.
67
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:18,620
The Black Widow
and the Grasping Grocer.
68
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:22,619
Who'll never be found grasping
the Black Widow.
69
00:05:22,620 --> 00:05:24,420
I've seen you struggling with her.
70
00:05:24,460 --> 00:05:25,660
Only to escape.
71
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:30,299
She's got a fiercer grip
than Audrey Hackett.
72
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:31,740
Who's Audrey Hackett?
73
00:05:31,780 --> 00:05:35,580
Audrey Hackett -
inventor of the Hackett grip.
74
00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:40,460
She was, er, 1973 Yorkshire
Freestyle Champion Man Mauler.
75
00:06:09,540 --> 00:06:10,940
What?
76
00:06:10,980 --> 00:06:14,180
How would you like to stop ironing
and just...
77
00:06:14,220 --> 00:06:16,020
..waste the rest of the day?
78
00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:18,060
Oh, Eric, get real!
79
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:19,180
Just thought I'd ask.
80
00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:25,180
You know, in case you were too shy
to make the first move.
81
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,620
You think I'm too shy?
82
00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:29,820
Actually, I think
83
00:06:29,860 --> 00:06:32,099
you've got more gob on you than most
people could handle.
84
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,100
But... But can you handle it?
85
00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:36,140
I'm the man!
86
00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:39,780
Who would you turn to
if we were in danger?
87
00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:44,619
Well, it wouldn't be you,
cos you'd be at your mother's!
88
00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:48,940
Don't you ever wake up and think,
"What a great day for making love...
89
00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:53,220
"..outdoors, on a blanket"?
90
00:06:55,260 --> 00:06:56,340
I did, actually.
91
00:06:58,020 --> 00:06:59,500
Only last Wednesday.
92
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:02,140
You never said.
93
00:07:03,980 --> 00:07:05,580
Well, you were at your mother's.
94
00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:10,700
Anyway,
we haven't got a waterproof blanket.
95
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:24,140
Signature required.
96
00:07:28,220 --> 00:07:31,780
Oh, you can't write on them things!
97
00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:32,980
Just do it.
98
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,220
Nobody cares.
99
00:07:36,220 --> 00:07:37,299
Oh!
100
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:40,020
Whatever happened to copperplate
handwriting, eh?
101
00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:44,099
Whatever happened to...
102
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:46,020
..tips? Hm?
103
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:47,460
Yes. Hm!
104
00:07:52,340 --> 00:07:55,140
What rubbish have you bought now?
105
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:58,619
New extension to our catering arm.
106
00:07:58,620 --> 00:08:00,259
We've got a catering arm?
107
00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:02,660
Yes, we have now.
108
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:04,260
There it is.
109
00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:08,780
One commercial six-slice
sandwich toaster.
110
00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:12,459
It's an old,
er, probably second-hand,
111
00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:15,660
commercial six-slice
sandwich toaster.
112
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:18,060
Fully reconditioned at the factory.
113
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:25,820
"The Kalamistan People's Republic
Number 1 Factory.
114
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,860
"Death to capitalism.
115
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:32,900
"Never beaten on price."
116
00:08:32,940 --> 00:08:35,740
Oh. There you are, see?
Good as new, eh?
117
00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:38,020
Right, well, you'd better see
if it works.
118
00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:40,739
Look,
that's enough of the pessimism.
119
00:08:40,740 --> 00:08:44,339
I've told you -
it's been right back to the factory.
120
00:08:44,340 --> 00:08:46,940
It's fully reconditioned.
121
00:08:46,980 --> 00:08:49,700
Now, switch that on there,
122
00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:53,539
and there's a button on the front
here, like that, you see?
123
00:08:53,540 --> 00:08:54,540
Now...
124
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:17,020
Do you think it's supposed
to do that?
125
00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:20,219
Don't try and talk me out of it.
126
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:21,899
I want no arguments.
127
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:24,339
I need a makeover.
128
00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:27,180
You'll get no arguments from me.
129
00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:31,419
But you always have the same old
style - boring but respectable.
130
00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:32,860
Ho-ho! Not any more.
131
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:35,700
There are some hormones round
here need shaking up.
132
00:09:35,740 --> 00:09:37,140
Mr Newbold.
133
00:09:37,180 --> 00:09:39,540
You see,
you recognise the description.
134
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:43,180
It is time to kick-start
his playtime motor.
135
00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:45,059
They usually need it slowing down.
136
00:09:45,060 --> 00:09:46,699
Yeah, not Mr Newbold.
137
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:50,060
If he goes any slower, he'll be
indistinguishable from stationary.
138
00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:52,579
What kind of makeover have
you got in mind?
139
00:09:52,580 --> 00:09:54,380
I'm only a small business.
140
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:58,139
Well, respectable but seductive.
141
00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,460
Nothing overexciting.
142
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,299
I don't want him pawing and panting.
143
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:04,139
But I'm determined to stir
some reaction.
144
00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:08,220
How seductive? It's a
big jump from stamp collecting.
145
00:10:08,260 --> 00:10:10,620
Ah, they soon pick it up.
146
00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:13,579
What have you got for
jump-starting the over-60s?
147
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:18,740
What are we talking? Suitable for
beginners or fasten your seat belts?
148
00:10:18,780 --> 00:10:20,180
Try me!
149
00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:29,940
How long's Gastric going to take to
fix the electrics?
150
00:10:29,980 --> 00:10:31,540
Oh, give him a chance!
151
00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:33,539
It's Kalamistan wiring he's
fiddling with.
152
00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:36,659
Yeah, people are going to think
that we're shut.
153
00:10:36,660 --> 00:10:39,700
You'd better get out there
and tell them we're still open.
154
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,700
I'm not going out there!
155
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:45,380
All right, all right.
No, perhaps you're right.
156
00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:48,620
I'll need you
in here to, you know, watch them.
157
00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:49,699
Watch them for what?
158
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:53,019
Hm? For shoplifting!
Look at the place.
159
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,500
It's full of dark corners
everywhere.
160
00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:57,820
It's a pilferer's paradise.
161
00:10:57,860 --> 00:11:00,019
Are you open?
162
00:11:00,020 --> 00:11:01,340
Yes, yes, sir we are.
163
00:11:01,380 --> 00:11:03,620
Do come in. What can I get you?
164
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:05,060
I'm just looking, thanks.
165
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:06,500
Yeah, OK. Thank you.
166
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:09,540
All right, go on.
Follow him.
167
00:11:09,580 --> 00:11:10,779
Follow him where?!
168
00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:13,580
Follow him everywhere! Go on!
169
00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:41,700
Oh! Ah, ha-ha!
170
00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:57,660
Oh! You didn't sell him
anything, did you?
171
00:12:03,820 --> 00:12:07,620
Oh, they all
look like decapitated guitarists.
172
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:11,020
Well, have you decided
what's your favourite tune?
173
00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:14,540
I think... a black one.
174
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:17,180
Are you sure about black?
You're always in black.
175
00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:19,220
Well, I've buried three husbands.
176
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:21,059
It saves so much time.
177
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:23,700
Well, there's no doubt that black
suits ya.
178
00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:25,780
Then let's go more black!
179
00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:27,380
Black to die for!
180
00:12:27,420 --> 00:12:29,060
And they do.
181
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:32,580
Well, if they can't stand the heat,
they shouldn't be near the flame.
182
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,420
Poor Mr Newbold.
A reluctant moth.
183
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:36,699
Ah, no, I wouldn't say reluctant.
184
00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:39,020
I think he daren't believe
I'm his to handle.
185
00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:45,660
Oh, er, when I say handle,
of course, I don't mean handle.
186
00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:47,460
Have you decided on this one, then?
187
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,660
Yes. I think a touch
of the Spanish look.
188
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,620
Ooh, ole!
189
00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:54,140
A hint of flamenco.
190
00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:55,819
Ooh, rose between your teeth!
191
00:12:55,820 --> 00:12:57,740
Oh, no, I daren't overdo it.
192
00:12:57,780 --> 00:13:00,460
He's scarcely ready for the simple
cotton nightie.
193
00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:05,940
Although,
if I am going to be a sex bomb...
194
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:11,020
..I may as well go nuclear.
195
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:14,980
Oh! Oh! Oh!
196
00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:25,220
Oh.
197
00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:27,780
Ah!
198
00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:52,980
Ah! About time!
199
00:13:53,020 --> 00:13:54,020
Hey...
200
00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:56,780
Hey! Just...
201
00:13:56,820 --> 00:13:59,179
Where did he come from?
202
00:13:59,180 --> 00:14:02,820
You should have stopped him
and searched him!
203
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:04,820
You can't just search people!
204
00:14:04,860 --> 00:14:06,460
Well, of course you can!
205
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:10,299
If you do it causally, like as
if you're just brushing them down.
206
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:13,020
You know, like this.
You just go, "There we are, sir.
207
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:15,300
"Just a moment.
Just wanting to check there.
208
00:14:15,340 --> 00:14:17,020
"Check at the back." You see?
209
00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:20,860
There. I've changed the plug
on the toaster, mended your fuse.
210
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:22,339
You'll be fine now.
211
00:14:22,340 --> 00:14:26,180
Oh, I found this 50p piece.
212
00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:28,220
I knew you'd be grieving for it.
213
00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:34,540
You don't think I worry about every
50p piece, do you?
214
00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:36,100
You what?
215
00:14:36,140 --> 00:14:38,420
I bet you can tell him
exactly when you lost it!
216
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:45,420
November 15th, 2011, 4.30.
217
00:14:45,460 --> 00:14:47,099
Welcome back, you little devil.
218
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,340
Missed you.
219
00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:53,180
Oh, I could use one of those toasted
sandwiches you've been promising.
220
00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:54,580
Right, they're on their way.
221
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:57,460
You're at the start of something
big! Hey!
222
00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:02,340
It's easy.
223
00:15:02,380 --> 00:15:05,580
When you see Mrs Rossi coming,
you go out there and you charm her.
224
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:08,259
With some of the chat-up lines
we've been feeding you.
225
00:15:08,260 --> 00:15:10,620
I don't know why you think I'm
so taken with her.
226
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:13,100
All I said was I thought
she looked attractive.
227
00:15:13,140 --> 00:15:14,700
Well, she does.
228
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,579
And I said so in my sleep.
229
00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:19,819
And now the wife thinks that
I'm involved with Mrs Rossi!
230
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:21,220
You keep away from Mrs Rossi!
231
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:27,739
Come on - dazzle.
232
00:15:27,740 --> 00:15:29,460
Give her some smooth.
233
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:32,180
Remember,
you've been coached by the best.
234
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:35,020
But slow down once you've got
her dominated.
235
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:39,820
Remember, she's just a fragile,
feminine flower.
236
00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:45,780
Fragile feminine flower?
237
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,059
Don't you wish they were?
238
00:15:48,060 --> 00:15:49,659
Mr Newbold!
239
00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:50,900
How nice.
240
00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:54,779
Know what you mean.
241
00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:57,780
Mrs Rossi, you look...
242
00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:02,180
I'm told you're very shy.
243
00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:03,460
Yes.
244
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,139
I haven't seen you in the library.
245
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:08,980
Oh, that's only because you weren't
there when I went looking.
246
00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:11,300
You've been looking? Oh, yes.
247
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:15,460
I mean, I'll stop immediately if...
if that disturbs you.
248
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:16,860
No.
249
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:19,340
I'd hate you to think I was pushy.
250
00:16:27,860 --> 00:16:29,380
Perhaps a little pushy!
251
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:35,060
Quick, through here!
252
00:16:38,260 --> 00:16:40,220
And they said you were shy!
253
00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:59,740
Is the big boy in?
254
00:16:59,780 --> 00:17:04,980
Tell him some babe is out here,
wanting to see him.
255
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:10,020
He's just adjusting his toaster.
256
00:17:10,060 --> 00:17:15,020
He wants toast? Tell him
he should catch me while I'm hot.
257
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:19,059
Well, what do you think, kid?
258
00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:20,860
Oh, you can't ask a man.
259
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:23,579
They just tell you what
you want to hear.
260
00:17:23,580 --> 00:17:26,180
Do you think this will
get his motor running?
261
00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:30,820
Well, er, Mrs Featherstone, I think
you look...
262
00:17:33,860 --> 00:17:35,620
Well, don't rush it.
263
00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:36,860
Take your time.
264
00:17:38,820 --> 00:17:39,940
..very...
265
00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:41,180
..striking.
266
00:17:41,220 --> 00:17:45,860
What, like some old clock? Well,
that's hardly the effect I'm after!
267
00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:47,860
Ooh, it could be worse.
268
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,739
I'd grab it while it's on offer.
269
00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:53,380
Let's come back later. We don't want
to lose the element of surprise.
270
00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:01,060
Right, come with me.
271
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:04,740
Now, it occurred to me
that you ought to be made aware
272
00:18:04,780 --> 00:18:11,259
of the advantages of knowing the
back-door route into my premises.
273
00:18:11,260 --> 00:18:12,499
Sounds a bit sneaky.
274
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:13,739
You're right, absolutely.
275
00:18:13,740 --> 00:18:15,819
Got it in one.
276
00:18:15,820 --> 00:18:18,660
Although I have to admit to no
serious objections to
277
00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:20,780
a bit of sneaky.
278
00:18:20,820 --> 00:18:22,940
Am I awful?
279
00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:27,340
You are the least awful
person that I know.
280
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:28,859
He-he! Right...
281
00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:30,979
But sneaky.
282
00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:32,420
Hello, sneaky!
283
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:34,780
Hello, Granville!
284
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:40,099
I must say, I've found you to be
rather forceful!
285
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,780
Oh, I'm sorry about that.
286
00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:46,380
Don't be. I was quite impressed.
287
00:18:46,420 --> 00:18:48,180
Really?
288
00:18:48,220 --> 00:18:53,420
And, er, here we are - in my private
quarters.
289
00:18:53,460 --> 00:18:55,500
Away from prying eyes...
290
00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,580
..usually.
291
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:03,779
Ah, Granville, we were just taking
refuge from Mrs Featherstone.
292
00:19:03,780 --> 00:19:06,900
Oh, can't argue with that.
293
00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:11,940
And, er, I was just going to show
this young lady my new toaster.
294
00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:14,140
She's go...
295
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:17,260
Oh, I see you've met.
296
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:22,820
Leroy, would you show Mr Newbold
and Mrs Rossi to safety?
297
00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:27,020
As I want to show this young lady
how to work my toaster.
298
00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:34,339
Leroy, you've been very
understanding about our, er...
299
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,740
Oh... I've been there.
300
00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:39,580
It makes for rather
interesting shopping.
301
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:45,460
Hi, Beth.
302
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:46,540
Excuse me.
303
00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:56,380
Oops! Have you seen where
he keeps the cat litter?
304
00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:01,100
Don't tell me shy! Ooh!
305
00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:12,819
Mrs Featherstone?
306
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:16,099
Underneath all this glamour,
yes, it is.
307
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:18,180
Oh. You've, um...
308
00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:19,620
..changed...
309
00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:22,819
..your make-up?
Oh, not only that, dear.
310
00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:26,100
This is the new
gets-into-every-corner model.
311
00:20:26,140 --> 00:20:27,580
Do you like it?
312
00:20:28,580 --> 00:20:30,619
It's, er... different.
313
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:33,620
Different? Yes, of course it's
different! That's the point.
314
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:39,900
I have been told there is
a hint of Madonna.
315
00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:42,579
Madonna?!
316
00:20:42,580 --> 00:20:44,220
When she was younger, of course.
317
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:47,700
Why is it always about Ruby?
318
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:54,940
You're looking good, Mavis.
319
00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:57,619
Oh, maybe I should always
come in the back way?
320
00:20:57,620 --> 00:21:00,859
Any way, any time.
321
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,380
You never showed me the toaster.
322
00:21:02,420 --> 00:21:05,459
Oh, well, you know,
forget about the toaster.
323
00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:07,140
Oh, there you go, you see.
324
00:21:07,180 --> 00:21:09,100
A failed toaster.
325
00:21:09,140 --> 00:21:10,379
No.
326
00:21:10,380 --> 00:21:12,459
Oh, your Madge is coming.
327
00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:14,260
Oh, she can't find me here!
328
00:21:14,300 --> 00:21:17,100
I told her I was going to see
Mrs Bentley!
329
00:21:17,140 --> 00:21:19,340
Oh, well, pop behind the counter.
330
00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:21,780
Go on. I'll get rid of her.
331
00:21:21,820 --> 00:21:24,660
Oh, you're very cool in emergencies.
332
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,140
I like that in a person.
333
00:21:33,980 --> 00:21:35,219
It's crowded.
334
00:21:35,220 --> 00:21:36,396
What do you mean, it's crowded?
335
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,900
Trust me, it's crowded!
336
00:21:39,260 --> 00:21:41,300
Is Mavis here?
337
00:21:42,740 --> 00:21:45,740
Does it look as if Mavis is here?
338
00:21:45,780 --> 00:21:47,100
Oh!
339
00:21:50,940 --> 00:21:52,780
Ah! Oh! Eh!
340
00:21:57,740 --> 00:21:59,340
Oh! Now it's crowded!
341
00:22:03,220 --> 00:22:07,700
Granville? If you're in there,
opportunity knocks!
342
00:22:08,820 --> 00:22:10,180
In technicolour!
343
00:22:12,220 --> 00:22:13,220
Oh.
344
00:22:18,060 --> 00:22:21,499
That's it. I think
we're Featherstone free.
345
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:22,500
Oh!
346
00:22:24,060 --> 00:22:25,620
Hey, up!
347
00:22:32,780 --> 00:22:34,500
Hello? Shop?
348
00:22:35,740 --> 00:22:37,660
Oh!
349
00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:39,380
Good day to you, madam.
350
00:22:39,420 --> 00:22:40,780
How may we help?
351
00:22:44,260 --> 00:22:47,140
May we interest
you in a toasted sandwich?
352
00:22:53,260 --> 00:22:55,060
He's got a nice face.
353
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:56,980
He still looks like a dweeb.
354
00:22:57,020 --> 00:22:58,859
A gentle creature, Ruby.
355
00:22:58,860 --> 00:23:01,060
A male with sensitivity.
356
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:02,939
But where's his muscle tone?
357
00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:04,980
You can build it
as you get to know him.
358
00:23:17,580 --> 00:23:19,980
The new catering arm.
359
00:23:20,020 --> 00:23:21,819
Got to keep ahead of the game.
360
00:23:21,820 --> 00:23:23,620
He-he!
361
00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:30,940
It's all right.
It'll pop up when it's toasted.
362
00:23:30,980 --> 00:23:32,580
Yes, coming - just a minute.
363
00:23:55,580 --> 00:23:57,179
She's too fierce for me.
364
00:23:57,180 --> 00:24:00,860
Willis, you need a girl who can
handle your mother.
365
00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:02,580
You are not going to tell my mother!
366
00:24:02,620 --> 00:24:04,780
No. You are, sooner or later.
367
00:24:06,220 --> 00:24:08,579
Well, maybe Ruby won't like me.
368
00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:09,899
Don't do that.
369
00:24:09,900 --> 00:24:11,340
Don't talk yourself down.
370
00:24:12,380 --> 00:24:13,859
Well, I don't.
371
00:24:13,860 --> 00:24:15,500
Mother usually does that for me.
372
00:24:41,540 --> 00:24:43,099
He's tricky.
373
00:24:43,100 --> 00:24:45,620
He's going to try
and make Ruby dislike him.
374
00:24:45,660 --> 00:24:48,340
Won't be hard.
That's a default position.
375
00:24:48,380 --> 00:24:50,100
Why doesn't he like her?
376
00:24:50,140 --> 00:24:51,819
I think he would, if he dare.
377
00:24:51,820 --> 00:24:53,499
You're losing me.
378
00:24:53,500 --> 00:24:56,340
The way he sees it, it's easier to
get rid of Ruby than have to
379
00:24:56,380 --> 00:24:58,900
tell his mother that he's
acquired a girlfriend.
380
00:24:58,940 --> 00:25:01,060
He doesn't deserve Ruby.
381
00:25:01,100 --> 00:25:02,940
Nobody deserves Ruby.
382
00:25:04,340 --> 00:25:06,859
What do you mean, we're not
right for each other?
383
00:25:06,860 --> 00:25:09,300
I'm not being dumped by some
muppet named Willis!
384
00:25:11,060 --> 00:25:13,140
No offence, but you're not my type.
385
00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:15,380
You don't have a type!
You've just got your mother!
386
00:25:15,420 --> 00:25:16,939
Well, you're not her type either.
387
00:25:16,940 --> 00:25:19,579
Oh, you let her choose your women?
388
00:25:19,580 --> 00:25:22,299
She is one - she knows 'em better.
389
00:25:22,300 --> 00:25:24,060
What is it you don't like about me?
390
00:25:25,380 --> 00:25:27,340
I bruise easily.
391
00:25:27,380 --> 00:25:29,580
Well, sometimes it's worth it.
392
00:25:37,740 --> 00:25:39,100
You liked that, didn't ya?
393
00:25:45,100 --> 00:25:46,740
Right, where do you want it?
394
00:25:46,780 --> 00:25:48,940
Just here, on the counter - proudly.
395
00:25:50,740 --> 00:25:56,940
Let it advertise itself, you know?
Tasty toasted sandwiches.
396
00:25:56,980 --> 00:25:59,780
Ooh! I could murder
a toasted bacon butty.
397
00:25:59,820 --> 00:26:00,900
You usually do.
398
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:06,140
Anyway, listen,
I've got some here, already made up.
399
00:26:06,180 --> 00:26:10,100
What we'll do,
we'll pop a couple in,
400
00:26:10,140 --> 00:26:14,299
and let the odour circulate.
401
00:26:14,300 --> 00:26:15,340
There. Ooh!
402
00:26:16,580 --> 00:26:18,340
If that Madge happens to ask you...
403
00:26:18,380 --> 00:26:19,940
Ooh, ooh!
404
00:26:19,980 --> 00:26:21,260
My lips are sealed.
405
00:26:23,780 --> 00:26:25,380
I'll slim in-between meals.
406
00:26:31,780 --> 00:26:36,100
It's only me! But the new me!
407
00:26:37,260 --> 00:26:41,140
The new available for parties
are you ready for it me!
408
00:27:11,660 --> 00:27:13,060
Ooh!
409
00:27:16,660 --> 00:27:19,900
Here's the man who
needs to see the new me!
410
00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:23,740
How's this for hot stuff?
411
00:27:23,780 --> 00:27:25,620
Oh! Oh, flippin' 'eck!
412
00:27:35,260 --> 00:27:38,340
Never thought I'd be glad
the place was full of smoke.
413
00:27:40,020 --> 00:27:42,620
Talk about swimming with sharks.
414
00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:46,500
She nearly got me by the freezers.
415
00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:51,259
I had to dodge back smartly
round today's offers.
416
00:27:51,260 --> 00:27:54,820
The woman has a grip worse
than my money belt.
417
00:28:03,180 --> 00:28:10,020
Ah, well, another day, another
thread in the rich retail tapestry.
418
00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:16,340
Goodnight, Kalamistan -
home of the people's toaster.
419
00:28:20,060 --> 00:28:22,820
Ye Gods! It's at it again!
30180
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