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Hello. Look at that.
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Ooh, she's got a powerful left hand, that Mrs Willis.
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You have to marvel at the chemistry that could bring those two together.
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Yeah, apparently they met at Butlins.
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He said that she looked like Marilyn Monroe.
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Give over!
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Marilyn Monroe were gorgeous.
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Mrs Willis looks more like Marilyn Manson.
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Yeah, but you're forgetting the power of Butlins.
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Those chalets were like incubators.
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Do you know it was the first time in British social history that
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lovers were free from damp grass?
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Maybe she did look like Marilyn Monroe.
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In the dark.
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- I do love a happy ending.
- Mmm.
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Hi, Leroy.
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Hi, Wendy.
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That's a lot of Wendy to be saying hi to, isn't it?
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That is number 37, Hazelwood drive.
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Divorced.
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Just moved in.
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Well, remember, she may look like that now...
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but inside there's an old Mrs Willis waiting to come out.
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HE BREATHES DEEPLY
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There was somebody wearing perfume in this doorway last night.
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Could be him from Sprotbrough.
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Actually, it was her with me.
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Elaine.
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Ooh, she always smells good enough to make you forget people
30
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not called Elaine.
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Oh, well, let's see what sort of mood Arkwright's in this morning.
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Oh!
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Who's had a bad night, then?
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Short, as usual.
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Just remember, if you were longer in bed
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your pyjamas wouldn't fit.
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I could be reclining on a hammock, in some warm country,
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with Scarlett Johansson.
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What, on one hammock?
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Well, we're saving up for a mortgage.
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She doesn't want to live over the shop.
42
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Although I've told her we'll move the boxes of baked beans.
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You don't dream like a grocer, you.
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Some of my best ideas come at night.
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And mine.
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While you're snoring I'm practising advanced grocery.
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You know, plotting and scheming for this business?
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You know what the trouble is?
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We've no room for expansion.
50
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I'm not surprised, on one hammock.
51
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Have you never thought about moving to bigger premises?
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TILL BANGS COINS SCATTER
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Now look what you've done.
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You know he's had a bad night!
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He didn't mean it.
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It was just, you know, off the top of his head.
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Bit of mental dandruff.
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You know what they're like, at his age.
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Hmm?
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Lucky be-be-beggar.
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What have you been buying now?
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Well, what have you got?
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"Little Jump-start.
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"Electronic assistance for tired feelings.
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"Turn your thoughts into muscular activity."
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Oh, "Batteries not included."
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Hey, hey - we sell batteries, don't we, eh?
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"Bored with life?
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"You need a Little Jump-start.
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"Scientific way to boost lost feelings."
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Who is going to fall for that?
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Apart from you.
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Well, it doesn't matter, does it?
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I mean, if they don't work we can say they're...
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mognamite detectors.
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Mognamite?
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It's a little-known gas that seeps out of old wardrobes
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and discarded knee bandages.
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Right, what's it say?
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"Just carry in pocket.
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"Do not exceed the recommended."
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The recommended what?
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It doesn't say. Just ends there.
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Oh. All right. Well, never mind.
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Go on - put a battery in and then you can try it.
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Me?
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Well, you'll be all right,
88
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as long as you don't exceed the recommended.
89
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Why don't we both try one?
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All right, OK.
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You've bought a turkey again.
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BELL JINGLES
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Oh, hiya. You must be Granville.
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Yes. And you must be Hazelwood Drive.
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That's right - number 37.
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- Wendy.
- Oh.
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You run a good business here.
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And I like your taste in Leroys.
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Well, he's the only one I've got,
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so I'd like him back in good condition.
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Yeah, well, I'll be home later, awaiting his delivery.
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Tell him to add a bottle of vodka, all right?
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Yes, he likes vodka.
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- I know.
- Oh.
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- Bye.
- Bye.
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BELL JINGLES
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Hey...
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I don't know how you can say we don't need more space.
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LEROY SNIFFS
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Wendy!
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Now, listen to me -
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you pack in that vodka.
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She's going to be a good customer.
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Nice woman.
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"Nice" is not the first thing that springs to mind.
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I know what you mean.
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CRACKLE OF ELECTRICITY
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Hey!
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- What was that?
- Hmm? What was what?
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Come on, you were thinking certain thoughts and your arm shot up.
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Well, so were you!
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You were thinking something
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and your knee nearly went through the ceiling!
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It is a perfectly innocent grocer-client relationship.
125
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Yeah - just like you and Mavis.
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Oh, rubbish!
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CRACKLE OF ELECTRICITY
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Hey!
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There you go. You see?
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- Saucy thoughts and...
- HE WHISTLES
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They get electronically assisted.
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Hmm?
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"A little muscular Jump-start."
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Hey...
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It's these things.
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Oh...
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Eh up!
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This might be useful, this.
139
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It's very odd to find you've got a leg with its own agenda.
140
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A lot of people think that's always been your problem.
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And who have they heard it from? Eh?
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- You.
- Yes, well,
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I'm just trying to keep you away from elderly women.
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Wendy is 35.
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Yes, well, so was that old Mrs Willis and...
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look what's happened to her.
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And I am not mixed up.
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She merely invited me in for coffee.
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A good-looking woman, yeah, but what's underneath?
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Actually, she's not my type.
151
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Oh, pull the other one, will you?
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I tell you what - if I were your age, she'd certainly be my type.
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CRACKLE OF ELECTRICITY
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BELL JINGLES
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Ah, the happy couple.
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Ooh, don't let's jump the gun.
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Mr Newbold is entitled to only very limited pleasure in these
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early stages of our relationship.
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Limited pleasure.
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I can testify to that.
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A lot to look forward to, though. Eh, Mr Newbold?
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Yes, isn't there?
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I've told him he'll have to pace himself.
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I will allow no liberties
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before legalities.
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Except...under special circumstances.
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CRACKLE OF ELECTRICITY
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Am I disturbing you, Granville?
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No, no, it's just a, just a twitch.
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I always say just a twitch is better than none.
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Aren't we neglecting Mr Newbold?
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Yes, please do...
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carry on.
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I've recently begun to see the benefits of neglect.
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Being on my own, abandoned.
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Pay no attention. He has these little outbursts.
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But I'm reducing his carbohydrates.
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She is. I can feel them shrinking.
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Now, we're here, Granville, because Mr Newbold has a problem.
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I'll say.
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Mr Newbold has excessive gravity in his underwear.
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That sounds serious.
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Well, look at him - struggling with it now.
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Mr Newbold's boxer shorts are forever on their way down.
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Forgivable, surely, in the first flush of excitement of meeting you.
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They're falling down on their own initiative.
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They're not party to any excitement.
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And I don't see why the state of my underwear should go public.
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Nonsense! We have to find a cure.
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Can't have you squirming down the street.
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Look as if you're pole dancing.
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Have you thought of buying new?
193
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No, he has this absurd sentimental attachment to them.
194
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It's only the elastic gone a bit.
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Otherwise they're perfectly sound.
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Right, now, listen - if you call back later,
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I may have the solution, fresh from my supplier.
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Fear not, we will stabilise his underwear.
199
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:19,520
Well, I hope so,
200
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cos I don't want people thinking I'm behind his loose underwear.
201
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I don't want anyone behind me.
202
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I don't want anyone within miles of me.
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Oh, stop panicking.
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I'm here for you, aren't I?
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- Biscuit?
- Oh, thank you.
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What is it about your husband and your relatives?
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Why is there always this iron curtain?
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Well, I'm not qualified to speak,
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but isn't picking a husband a bit like impulse buying?
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Can you really be surprised if your family thinks,
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"What the heck did she buy that for?"
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I can understand my lot being dubious about Eric.
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I mean, let's face it - I'm dubious about Eric.
214
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No, you're not. You love him.
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Keep your voice down.
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I try and hide it.
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You do pretty well, normally.
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Oh, thank you.
219
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I don't get it.
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What have we got for assisting gentleman
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to get a grip on their underwear?
222
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We have the answer to a widespread problem in this area.
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And there it is - look!
224
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Right there, look - that's him.
225
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He's doing the dance.
226
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The underwear two-step.
227
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Chasing the bunny.
228
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The bunny?
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Aye, well, he's losing his undies, eh?
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They're slipping down,
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aren't they?
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Making me feel like I'm losing mine.
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You probably are.
234
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I know I'm losing mine.
235
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Oh, no - don't tell me it's the money belt!
236
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Oh, 'eck!
237
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Oh... Ooh...
238
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,800
Is it your brother that's the problem?
239
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,200
You know, the...
240
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,600
quiet one?
241
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That's tactful.
242
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- You were going to say "miserable", weren't you?
- No...
243
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It's true, I was.
244
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I know he's not Mr Smiley,
245
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but he's had a lot in his life to be miserable about.
246
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All I ask of Eric is just try and be nice to him.
247
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Oh, they're not good at nice.
248
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They do nasty much better.
249
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I find they're often nicer underneath.
250
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Underneath an anaesthetic, maybe.
251
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That's true.
252
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They're all more bearable unconscious.
253
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So, does he look after you brother?
254
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Does he 'eck!
255
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He says he does, but you should see the look on his face.
256
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You'd think Lester had a disease!
257
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I've been to Leicester.
258
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It looked all right.
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Not the city!
260
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Cath's brother's called "Lester".
261
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Oh, I suppose it's better than Wolverhampton.
262
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It's uncanny, really, isn't it?
263
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:13,760
How I knew that braces would be making a comeback?
264
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,560
Well, I haven't seen any sign of it.
265
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,720
Nobody I know wears braces.
266
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Well, of course not.
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You only know girls.
268
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:24,800
No, the men have a proud tradition of wearing their undies
269
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,720
to destruction.
270
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,000
Always find room for their favourites.
271
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,440
Better the devil you know...
272
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:35,680
The ladies spend their lives trying to snatch them off us.
273
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:36,760
You wish!
274
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,920
I mean, they're forever buying new, aren't they?
275
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:42,920
You know, new at Christmas and at birthdays, and where do they end up?
276
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:46,320
They end up in their packs in the bottom of a drawer.
277
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,800
So, here we are -
278
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,560
forever chasing the bunny.
279
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,280
The league of butterfingered gentleman,
280
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,320
whose undies are forever diving to their knees.
281
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,280
But Arkwright's have the solution!
282
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,800
I'd a phone call from our Ethel.
283
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,240
She says, "Walter's passed away."
284
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,520
I tell her, "Oh...
285
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,000
"I'm sorry to hear that.
286
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,840
"But who's Walter?"
287
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,960
She says, "You know who Walter is."
288
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,280
And I say, "No.
289
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,840
"There's not much point in starting now, is there?"
290
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:27,840
HE LAUGHS
291
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:34,480
What?
292
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,800
Just waiting for the sign.
293
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,120
What kind of sign?
294
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,800
Well, we'll know it when we see it.
295
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,720
You think we'll see it?
296
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,240
Oh, yes.
297
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,360
Yes.
298
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:51,320
He's the sort whose undies are in for the long haul.
299
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,840
What's he talking about?
300
00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:58,960
There he goes.
301
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,760
That's it.
302
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,240
Chasing the bunny.
303
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,600
CRACKLE OF ELECTRICITY
304
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:23,320
You don't know who you're messing with, kid.
305
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,680
You sure you've got the right kid?
306
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:28,040
I don't want you parking your trolley at number 37.
307
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,920
I catch it there one more time
308
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,320
and you're dead.
309
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:32,560
Dead?
310
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,360
Don't you think that's a bit OTT?
311
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,160
Well, what am I supposed to threaten you with -
312
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,040
community service?
313
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,920
Can we just clear up why you need to threaten me at all?
314
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,680
That's my wife you've been parking your trolley at!
315
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,880
- She's divorced.
- Don't get technical.
316
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,000
How do you think it looks?
317
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,840
She leaves me - Wayne Ferris...
318
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,160
Now you see where you went wrong?
319
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,880
You've heard the name, right?
320
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,520
Wayne Ferris?
321
00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,560
No.
322
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,240
Wayne Ferris!
323
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,800
Rising figure in the criminal underworld!
324
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:08,480
Maybe you've, erm...
325
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,000
Maybe you've heard my, erm, street name.
326
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:14,840
(The Undertaker.)
327
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,240
- Sorry.
- Oh!
328
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,000
I'm on Facebook. Give me your e-mail, I'll send you some literature.
329
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,160
If this is about Wendy...
330
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,600
Bingo! Finally, yes!
331
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,000
This is about Wendy -
332
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:30,040
the Wendy YOU are on notice to stay away from.
333
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,080
I deliver her groceries.
334
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:35,360
My people will deliver her groceries.
335
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:36,680
As of now,
336
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,680
she's with Tesco's.
337
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:40,200
"My people"!
338
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,560
If you've got people, where are your minders?
339
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,760
- I've got two of the best.
- Oh.
340
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,240
You know, it's just that they're...you know...
341
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,920
It's their day off.
342
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,160
On the same day?
343
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,240
They're very fond of each other!
344
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,360
Yeah? What am I supposed to do, yeah?
345
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,120
Ruin their leisure time together?
346
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,000
Wayne, I think you're telling porkies.
347
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,440
I mean, you don't look dangerous.
348
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,000
I think you're a sweetheart.
349
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,800
I could kill you.
350
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,600
I could kill you...
351
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:05,840
with this finger.
352
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,920
- LEROY LAUGHS
- You're killing me now, Wayne!
353
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,200
- You're hilarious!
- No...
354
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:11,600
No, you couldn't be more wrong.
355
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,400
You stay away
356
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,920
from that gorgeous little creature. All right?
357
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,840
That is the first thing you've said that makes any sense.
358
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,960
She is gorgeous.
359
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,920
- CRACKLE OF ELECTRICITY
- Oh... Oh, right!
360
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,320
Oh, right! Right, that's how you want it, is it?
361
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,360
- Sorry!
- You crossed a line, pal.
362
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:30,080
You crossed a line!
363
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,560
Wayne, she gives me coffee.
364
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,600
I was talking to you civilly,
365
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,720
and you start throwing punches at me.
366
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,120
- Wayne, it was just a twitch.
- You, you wait...
367
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:41,760
you wait till my minders get back from their...
368
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:42,800
cookery classes.
369
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:47,880
Aargh!
370
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,320
Thank you. Right.
371
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,400
There we are, Mrs Hussein - your change.
372
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,640
Thank you very much.
373
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,120
I suppose you've heard about Hazelwood Drive?
374
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,040
- Number 37?
- That's the one.
375
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,080
No. What have you heard?
376
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:05,240
As it happens - although, you know, I am not one for gossip...
377
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,320
Yeah, somebody was telling me that.
378
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,360
I think it were you.
379
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,560
Well...
380
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,880
she's divorced but he wants her back.
381
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,280
She's spoiled rotten.
382
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:17,640
It's his father's money - bought her the house, furnished it through.
383
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,360
She's changed the curtains twice!
384
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,400
Oh!
385
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,880
She takes pills for an overactive thyroid.
386
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,480
Where do you get all this stuff?
387
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,280
She fancies your Leroy.
388
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,280
She feeds him coffee.
389
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,200
Leroy doesn't drink coffee.
390
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,480
He's developing a taste for it.
391
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,560
Two lumps.
392
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,200
I suppose she's attractive to certain men.
393
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,040
Her cleaner says she wears next to nothing round the house.
394
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,480
Disgusting. CRACKLE OF ELECTRICITY
395
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,600
He's developing a taste for coffee.
396
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,720
He's using words like "latte".
397
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,600
How can I compete? Eh?
398
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:05,000
I mean, I can't start wearing next to nothing round the house.
399
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,560
BELL JINGLES
400
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:09,640
I'll be back.
401
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:19,360
What's this little Jump-start you're offering for tired feelings?
402
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,400
Come in, Cyril!
403
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,480
Prepare to be amazed.
404
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,880
Oh, and here's another seeker of the truth.
405
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,440
Even a lie, if it improves your prospects.
406
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:35,760
There she is.
407
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,560
Your pathway to a richer personal life.
408
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,440
Batteries not included.
409
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,720
So, how much richer is your personal life
410
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,280
when it's got a battery in it?
411
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:49,520
Are we talking really personal "personal life"?
412
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,960
I mean, the kind your honeymoon lures you into believing
413
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,320
this could be a regular thing?
414
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,600
With this little gadget,
415
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:07,560
your scoring rate for the occasions of domestic "bliss" will rocket.
416
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,920
You'd go as far as "rocket"?
417
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,680
I'd settle for the stairlift.
418
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:16,040
This thing takes all the guesswork out of it.
419
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:20,760
This little beauty will tell you when the time is right
420
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,480
to make your move.
421
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:23,800
It has better be right -
422
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,120
or I might HAVE to move.
423
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,440
How come this thing knows so much?
424
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,080
A little piece of plastic
425
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,120
without any hormones or interest in...
426
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:34,920
..basic messing around.
427
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,200
A-ha, you see, that is where the battery comes in, don't it?
428
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,880
It brings it to life.
429
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,680
It stirs up the atoms
430
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,400
and they all go zipping about.
431
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,960
And they come in contact with the electrons.
432
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,400
And the electrons then go,
433
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,720
"Woop-woop-woop-woop, woop-woop-woop-woop."
434
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,960
HE JOINS IN
435
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,280
HE ALSO JOINS IN
436
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,920
DUO START BARKING
437
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,640
No! Now, stop now!
438
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,360
Please!
439
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,320
Let's not get into nanotechnology.
440
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,840
Do you want to get into nanotechnology?
441
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,800
Not necessarily, at this moment in time.
442
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:14,400
Right, now listen.
443
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,760
You get her to carry one of these about or, better still,
444
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,760
you slip it in her pocket.
445
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,320
How long do the batteries last?
446
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,120
Don't worry. I can always sell you a spare.
447
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,040
- Does it come with a guarantee?
- No!
448
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,080
It doesn't get BBC Two, either.
449
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:40,520
Are you in an emotionally dry place or not?
450
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,200
Parched.
451
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,960
Then, this is your future here.
452
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,040
This is where the desert blooms.
453
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,200
Stand there, Mr Newbold. This is girl talk.
454
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,800
I'm just taking him to have his squirm removed.
455
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,760
Sounds like a plan.
456
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,520
Do you find they have a tendency
457
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,360
to hang on to their old underwear?
458
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:16,760
Oh. You could take their appendix easier.
459
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,520
The men round here develop such a deep affection
460
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,200
for their familiar underwear,
461
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,960
I'm surprised no-one has written an opera about it.
462
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,280
Why is it, do you think?
463
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,640
They don't like change.
464
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,160
Which is fine...
465
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:31,640
until your elastic goes.
466
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,520
Right, hold on, sir, just a moment.
467
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,040
There we go. There, now, you see?
468
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,920
You've got free access to his undies.
469
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,200
Would you care to rephrase that?
470
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,320
A pair of braces?
471
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,000
Yes, as recommended by Sigmund Freud.
472
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,600
It's the shortest way to the well-adjusted male.
473
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,880
I've sold eight pairs of these today already.
474
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,640
But I don't wear braces.
475
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,800
You see, that is your problem.
476
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,680
Wearing a belt,
477
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,840
you can't get your hand
478
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,400
down there, to haul your boxers back up.
479
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:17,920
Right?
480
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,040
But now...
481
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,840
..you can get both hands down there, see?
482
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,640
Haul them back up,
483
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,440
like that.
484
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:33,000
OK? Instant access
485
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,920
to all the help you need.
486
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,440
Well, don't look at me!
487
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,840
Do you think we've been had?
488
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:40,880
Again?
489
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,200
Has he done it again?
490
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,400
You know, he takes advantage of the fact that we're desperate.
491
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,440
I always wanted to be a good lover.
492
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:52,720
Amusing,
493
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,360
considerate,
494
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:55,440
but above all...
495
00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:58,760
..regular.
496
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,520
That's what you miss.
497
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,160
It's the uncertainty that gets to you.
498
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,600
- BOTH:
- Hey!
499
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,200
- BOTH:
- It works!
500
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:28,840
DULL THUDDING
501
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:30,880
Hmm?
502
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,520
SOFT WHISTLING
503
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,000
How was the coffee?
504
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,960
It was just coffee.
505
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,760
I met him - Wayne, the ex. Hmmp!
506
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,680
He's a giggle.
507
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,280
Oh, can I go a bit earlier this evening?
508
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,000
Where?
509
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,640
Just out, meet a few friends. Usual.
510
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,480
You can get done for some kinds of "usual".
511
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,280
Not more coffee, I hope?
512
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,360
No. Put your mind at rest.
513
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:08,240
And stop being so suspicious.
514
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,640
All right. You can go.
515
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:13,440
I trust you.
516
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,560
I don't trust him!
517
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,120
He's going out and I want to see where he's going!
518
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:23,760
How are you going to follow him if the shop's still open?
519
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,360
Oh! Will you close it?
520
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:26,400
No!
521
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,960
No, no, I won't close the shop!
522
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,160
I'm leaving Gastric in charge.
523
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,800
Oh... please, God,
524
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,920
don't let Gastric screw up.
525
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,800
You see, I'm borrowing Gastric's Mini,
526
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,400
so I thought that you could come with me.
527
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,360
Oh, I don't know that I'd be any good at following.
528
00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:48,920
Oh, it won't be all following, will it?
529
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:52,560
I mean, there will be time for us. Hmm-hm.
530
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:55,400
ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
531
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,400
Hey!
532
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:00,400
Come on.
533
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:06,560
You said this was going to be a little outing for us two.
534
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:07,600
It is.
535
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,280
I haven't forgotten that.
536
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,320
You needn't think I'd forgotten THAT.
537
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,680
Oh. ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
538
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,320
ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
539
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:19,360
Oh!
540
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:23,280
Sorry. Sorry about that.
541
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:26,440
It just... It's my foot keeps jumping.
542
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,840
It's nice to get a few minutes together.
543
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,040
Madge wanted to know what we were going to do with it.
544
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:34,120
Oh.
545
00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,320
ELECTRICAL CRACKLING Oh! Oh!
546
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:37,120
TYRES SCREECH
547
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:42,920
Eugh!
548
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,800
Don't smile at me. It sets me off.
549
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,400
ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
550
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,560
Can you move your knee somewhere... ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
551
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,400
..out of my eye-line? Ooh! Open a window!
552
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:54,880
ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
553
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,200
That perfume is dangerous!
554
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,440
Argh! Oh!
555
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:12,840
ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
556
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,600
'Wow, that Mavis is attractive, even the wrong way up.'
557
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:26,880
ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
558
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:27,920
Oh!
559
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,880
Next time, I'll drive.
560
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,560
- Well...
- I hope you're safer indoors.
561
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,120
I suppose there's only one way to find out.
562
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:46,960
ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
563
00:27:48,360 --> 00:27:50,200
Oh, heck! Oh.
564
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,480
Oh...heck!
565
00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:59,600
Hello, Mavis.
566
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:02,960
Hello, Granville.
39577
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