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Visit Santa's grotto!
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SHE SCREAMS
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HE LAUGHS
4
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- You look a right muffin, you.
- Ssh!
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Don't talk to me. I'm a stranger round here.
6
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Are you hiding from her boyfriend again?
7
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I've told her she should go back to him cos when you get to know him
8
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he's really very...big.
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Here you are.
10
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Oh, look, there's the Black Widow with that poor fly.
11
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Smile, Mr Newbold.
12
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No, that's not good. Put it away!
13
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Looks as if it's on the wrong face.
14
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It's you she fancies. He's just for practice.
15
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Oh, good day to you, Mrs Bridges.
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You said that yesterday and it wasn't.
17
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Oh, is there a man anywhere you can rely on?
18
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You give them your best years, smarten up your underwear,
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totter about in crippling heels
20
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and still they leave you empty, broken.
21
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Is that it? Is that life?
22
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Is that all there is?
23
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I've got some nice fresh kidneys.
24
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Ole!
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It's getting more like a bullfight with this till.
26
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Did you see that?
27
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This time in the morning you think people can see?
28
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I think it's Arkwright having a laugh.
29
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He's deadly when he's playful. You ask Nurse Gladys Emmanuel.
30
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Oh, good morning, Gastric.
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Morning. Right, I want...
32
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Why's he dressed like a pillock?
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It's not me. I'm out.
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- Anyway, you owe me 10p from yesterday.
- How come?
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Well, actually it's 11p, but I'm giving you favoured customer rates.
36
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It's about time!
37
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Well, don't tell anybody else cos they'll all want it.
38
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I've forgotten it already, along with what I came in for.
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I'll have to come back.
40
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Eh? No!
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Heck, now look what you've done. You've lost us a customer!
42
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- He said he'll be back.
- Yes, I know, but they lie, don't they?
43
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Right, I want two pound of bacon.
44
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- Two pound of bacon.
- A dozen eggs.
- A dozen eggs.
45
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- A large tin of beans.
- Large tin of be...
46
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You know, Gastric, I'm glad you got your appetite back.
47
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I mean, Gastric and diet were two words that don't really go together.
48
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It's not just for me. I've got Cliff Bridges staying with me.
49
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Elsie's husband. Mrs Bridges.
50
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Oh, yes! I thought he'd left her?
51
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Oh, he's left her three times altogether but now he's come back
52
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just in time for Christmas.
53
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So he's brought himself back, has he?
54
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Well, it saves him buying a Christmas present, I suppose,
55
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doesn't it?
56
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He must pack some romantic punch if he gets away with that.
57
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Oh, not this time. She won't let him in. She's thrown him back out.
58
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I've taken him in temporarily for a while.
59
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I thought I might pick up a few pointers about how to handle Madge.
60
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Oh, Mrs Bridges, eh? Poor lass.
61
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I thought she looked a bit emotional yesterday.
62
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She's always emotional. She cries when anything dies.
63
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Well, there's no harm in that.
64
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Her battery?!
65
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He comes home for Christmas and she won't even let him in.
66
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How Christmassy is that?
67
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Women! Where do they learn this behaviour?
68
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Are they born nasty?
69
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Elsie's not nasty...
70
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compared to some I could mention.
71
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It's hardly Good King Wenceslas.
72
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A poor man comes inside and all she gives him is grief.
73
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Then she shoves him straight back out
74
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into the deep and crisp and even.
75
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He's left her more than once and always for some other woman.
76
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Well, there you go.
77
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It's not as if he didn't have a good reason.
78
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She's taken him back twice.
79
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I don't think mine would show that kind of consideration.
80
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What's he like, this Bridges fella?
81
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Are we talking good looking, athletic?
82
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Unfair competition?
83
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Obviously he has some pull with the ladies.
84
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I don't like him already.
85
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Oh, get a grip, Elsie. Have a good sing. Take your mind off him.
86
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Forget him. Repeat after me - "Cliff who?"
87
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Was he born at the seaside? Why did they call him after a cliff?
88
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His name's Clifford!
89
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It bears no relation to the seaside.
90
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Cliff to me is something you have to be careful not to fall off.
91
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I think Elsie found that.
92
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Did he just appear at your doorway?
93
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With a suitcase and his washing.
94
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Three years of washing?!
95
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No, I think she must have done her bit,
96
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although I don't believe that was the attraction.
97
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- I hope you didn't let him in.
- No, I didn't let him in.
98
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Did it never occur to you to set the dog on him?
99
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- I don't have a dog.
- For the occasion, I'd have borrowed one!
100
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You give them your best.
101
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,120
Ah, now that's where you went wrong, right there.
102
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They thrive better on less.
103
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:05,040
Think of him as dead or living somewhere similar,
104
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like Lancashire.
105
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And don't you be encouraging her to take him back.
106
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He's all alone and it's Christmas.
107
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Oh, I can see him now out on the street in a blizzard,
108
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trying to keep warm with only a Mars bar.
109
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Why would he have a Mars bar?
110
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Because I would have just given him one.
111
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- You're as daft as Auntie Eileen.
- She found love in the end.
112
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And we all know which end!
113
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Be firm, Elsie, don't weaken.
114
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I know it's Christmas, goodwill to all men,
115
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but you're allowed to be nasty to those closest to you.
116
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I AM being firm, even though his coming back must mean something.
117
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It probably means the other woman's chucked him out!
118
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Came straight home though, didn't he?
119
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- Oh, Elsie!
- Oh, Elsie!
120
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You're only guessing it's me.
121
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I could be a real elf.
122
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You're too tall.
123
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I've been stretched.
124
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I'm an elongated elf.
125
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My favourite kind.
126
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Have you got a name?
127
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Ginger.
128
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May I enquire where the bit might be that's ginger?
129
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I'm looking forward to a little session
130
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with the kid that works here.
131
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Me too!
132
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- Was that him?
- I'm not allowed to say,
133
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on the grounds of "elf" and safety!
134
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Do you often talk to strange elves?
135
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He's got a nice face.
136
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You ought to see it first thing in the morning.
137
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Ready when he is.
138
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# Therefore, Christian men be sure
139
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# Wealth or rank possessing
140
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# Ye who now will bless the poor
141
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# Shall yourselves find blessing. #
142
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SHE SIGHS
143
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OK, well, a smidgeon better than yesterday,
144
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but remember, we've got that choir in Finkle Street to beat,
145
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otherwise they'll be bragging all year!
146
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Go on, take ten.
147
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Were you singing? Cos I couldn't hear you.
148
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I told you, I'm not much for singing.
149
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Well, you didn't tell me you needed a voice transplant.
150
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Get some expression into it.
151
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And try to look happy.
152
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They know we're an item. If you don't look happy it reflects on me.
153
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You expect me to be happy?
154
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Until after the formal engagement and then I'll settle for obedient.
155
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Engaged? You and me?
156
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Well, unless I get a better offer you're in with a chance.
157
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Lots of goodies coming your way.
158
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,040
Where's this collector of ladies' scalps then?
159
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,080
Oh, I couldn't dream. Elsie goes ballistic.
160
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In that case, he can't be all that magnetic.
161
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,000
I don't see him any more Leonardo DiCaprio than I am.
162
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Listen, I were at school with him.
163
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While the rest of us were playing marbles,
164
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he were playing with the entire girls' hockey team!
165
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,400
I bet Elsie and Cliff have really missed each other.
166
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I bet you still believe in Father Christmas.
167
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Not always.
168
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I can't afford to keep him. He eats like a woodchipper.
169
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Lost his wife but not his appetite. How heartbroken is that?
170
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He's not lost her. She's trying to be tough but she's wavering.
171
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His old magic is still working.
172
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It's magic the way he goes through a bacon butty.
173
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The entire girls' hockey team?
174
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They'd have shin pads,
175
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but what protection would that be against him?
176
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If I tried half that stuff on with our lass,
177
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I'd be the one needing shin pads!
178
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If you want to have a look at him I'll bring him in the shop.
179
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HE BURPS
180
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Two o'clock this afternoon.
181
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,800
Right, what have we got here?
182
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"Dr Proctor's Fiery Chest Pastilles."
183
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You can put them away.
184
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,480
They never sold. Far too hot.
185
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,880
It's like sucking a chilli.
186
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:42,360
Well, maybe they've cooled down now we've had 'em for a while.
187
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:47,960
- Plus they turned your tongue green.
- Yeah, well, it wore off, didn't it?
188
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,400
Anyway, we can tell them it was a sign of inner purity.
189
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Right, come on, you try one.
190
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- YOU try one!
- No, no, you try one.
191
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,680
- Oh, no, you...
- TRY ONE.
192
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,680
All right, tell you what, we'll both try one.
193
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,680
We should always be familiar with the products that we are selling,
194
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right, apart from a small selection of ladies' underwear, OK?
195
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There you go.
196
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,680
You better get that in your...
197
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:23,080
All right, all right, all right.
198
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,480
- Oh.
- Oh.
199
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,600
Yeah, they have. They've cooled down.
200
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,920
Used to bring me out in clammy sweats.
201
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,880
Black Widow does that to me.
202
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,440
Hmm, yeah.
203
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,120
It's when you get to the middle!
204
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,440
You can clear drains with these things, can't you?
205
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,320
Stand there, Mr Newbold. This is girl talk.
206
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,400
You're looking a bit female stressed.
207
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:33,120
I'm getting older. It can't last forever.
208
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,760
Oh, there's better solutions than being dead.
209
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,000
Not as reliable.
210
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:42,440
You need a few hours of all-male company. Crack some jokes.
211
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,800
A free flow of bad manners. Spill a few drinks.
212
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,760
- Drop some crumbs down your front.
- Belch a bit.
213
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:53,400
It's true. It's those little things you miss.
214
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,920
First of all, two o'clock at Arkwright's.
215
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,880
Let's get a look at this Cliff Bridges.
216
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:03,080
The man with power over women. Pick up a few tips.
217
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,880
Not that we need any help in that direction.
218
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,840
I think that's understood.
219
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HE PANTS
220
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Guaranteed to clear all your passages.
221
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,560
You do know it's bad luck, don't you,
222
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:38,200
standing out here practising not spending?
223
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,920
- Just browsing.
- Just happened to be coming in your direction.
224
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,800
Here, what time have you got?
225
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:50,520
Well, does it matter? You're not doing anything with it, are you?
226
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:55,000
- Are we late?
- For what?
- Well, I don't know.
227
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,760
- Mr Newbold said we had to get a move on.
- I didn't say a word.
228
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:02,840
- He's so forgetful.
- I forget when I last got the CHANCE to say a word!
229
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,520
Listen to him rattling on. Do be quiet, Mr Newbold.
230
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,200
People are going to think you're a chatterbox.
231
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:14,520
Hey, we've got quite a crowd building now, haven't we?
232
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:18,280
You must have all heard about my special offers.
233
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,920
- Just passing.
- I'll take some.
234
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,760
You don't even know what they are!
235
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,920
I like surprises.
236
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,280
What's all this then? Have I missed something?
237
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,760
Not a lot, by the look of that lipstick.
238
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:39,280
I turned a corner, walked straight into this pair of lips.
239
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,160
Which corner?
240
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:45,160
- Here comes Gastric's mini.
- HORN BEEPS
241
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,200
Hey up!
242
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,920
What's going on?
243
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,440
THEY GASP
244
00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,360
THEY SIGH
245
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,120
Now, listen, you lot,
246
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,160
if you're not going to buy anything there will be a parking fee,
247
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:07,160
refundable upon your first purchase.
248
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,120
THEY GASP
249
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,440
THEY SIGH
250
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,880
Hey up, it's Black Friday.
251
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- Where is he?
- God's gift to women.
252
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:23,360
- Cliff Bridges.
- He's adjusting his cap in the rear-view mirror.
253
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,640
He'll be here in a minute.
254
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,760
So THAT'S what this is all about, is it?
255
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,680
You all want to see Mr Magnificent.
256
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,520
THEY GASP
257
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,360
You've got to be kidding!
258
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:42,960
What?
259
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,560
He reminded me of someone and he was dead!
260
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,200
Maybe he's got a big personality?
261
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,400
He's not big enough to have a big personality.
262
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,640
If I were you I'd ask for your Mars bar back.
263
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,120
Who in their right mind would take him back?
264
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,480
He's hardly fit for recycling.
265
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,520
- Makes your man look good.
- I wouldn't go as far as good.
266
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,200
There's been some wear and tear in there.
267
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:11,800
No wonder he's ready for home.
268
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,920
Home? I wouldn't have him delivered!
269
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:20,640
- So you've left Elsie three times?
- Anybody can make a mistake.
270
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,080
What, three times?!
271
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:26,960
- Same mistake.
- Mmm. You don't look like a lady-killer, Clifford.
272
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:31,720
- You look more like his grandad.
- I've retired.
273
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:36,000
All right, from the horse's mouth, what's the secret?
274
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,960
- He keeps asking me that.
- On behalf of a friend.
275
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,720
All right, so he keeps asking. What do you tell him?
276
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:47,800
I tell him I don't know. Anyway, that's all in the past.
277
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,800
Dr Proctor's Fiery Chest Pastilles?
278
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,000
Haven't seen these in a while.
279
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,240
I used to swear by these.
280
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,920
Oh, hello, Mavis.
281
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,520
Hello, Granville.
282
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,920
- What are we doing for Christmas?
- We did that last year.
283
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,520
Wasn't it a lovely Christmas?
284
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:24,760
I shan't enjoy this Christmas if poor Mr Bridges can't get home.
285
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:28,280
You're such a kind-hearted woman, Mavis,
286
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,840
but Elsie is surrounded by the female Mafia.
287
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,720
They're all telling her to send him packing.
288
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:39,080
I don't think there's anybody going to be able to get him back.
289
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,400
I bet you could.
290
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,800
If anyone can...
291
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,880
Oh.
292
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:51,760
- FROM INSIDE BOX:
- Ow! Ah! Ooh!
293
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,880
She'll only throw him out again.
294
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,560
Even now he's gift-wrapped.
295
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:59,880
Once he's inside the house, he'll be able to work his magic, won't he?
296
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:03,080
He's not sounding all that magical at the moment.
297
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,400
Stop moaning, will you?
298
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:08,920
- We're trying to get you back to where you want to be.
- Ow! Ah!
299
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,440
Oh, it's no good.
300
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,880
Open the lid, will you, let's see what he's grizzling about?
301
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,760
Ah!
302
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,360
Oh, 'eck!
303
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,440
When she opens the box, Mr Bridges,
304
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,920
my advice is to grab her while she's too surprised to speak.
305
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,320
Give her your best shot.
306
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,920
Parcel for Bridges.
307
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,920
She should have opened it by now.
308
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,760
He should be out of the box.
309
00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:00,160
Unless he's dragged her in. She's not complaining.
310
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,640
He's done it again, that old hockey magic!
311
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,560
I think you're right, I think he's cracked it!
312
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,400
He's still got it, eh?
313
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,120
I wonder if he keeps his cap on.
314
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,680
She dumped me and kept the box.
315
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,120
She's got them women with her. They threw me out the back.
316
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:26,960
You blew it!
317
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,240
Where was all this magic?
318
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:33,000
I just want to go home. I'm all out of magic.
319
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,760
And I'm all out of bacon.
320
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,920
Can I ask you please not to repeat that?
321
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,000
I've been telling everybody it's down to
322
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,960
Dr Proctor's Fiery Chest Pastilles.
323
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:46,520
We need a plan B.
324
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:11,280
This forgotten secret from the Victorian era
325
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,600
has to be handled with care.
326
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,920
I mean, are you ready for this much power over women?
327
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,280
You're going to have to pace yourselves.
328
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,320
We're ready.
329
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,960
I think I can safely speak also for my colleague here.
330
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:32,440
Providing it's the genuine stuff Cliff Bridges has been using.
331
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,080
To such effect.
332
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:39,160
And providing it will prove to have a similar effect upon us.
333
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,440
Within reason.
334
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,240
Nobody's talking an entire ladies' hockey team.
335
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,320
Tom Jones has a pack of these at his bedside.
336
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,360
He always sucks two when he sings Delilah.
337
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,640
And if you listen carefully, you can hear the whisper
338
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,480
of ladies' underwear as it sails past.
339
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,920
Today, Tom Jones. Tomorrow, Eric and Cyril.
340
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,200
So how come these are not more widely known?
341
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,120
Oh, because they were banned, you see,
342
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:23,400
once they found out that they started the First World War.
343
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:28,000
I thought it was because some archduke got himself shot...
344
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,040
in the Balkans.
345
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,200
Yes, and very painful it was, too.
346
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:39,120
But you've got to ask yourself, why was he shot?
347
00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:43,520
He was shot because he was doing a bit of archduking on the side,
348
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,960
you know, he was running amok with his Dr Proctor's.
349
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:51,640
So, if they're banned, where did you get these?
350
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:55,720
They were from a secret hoard that was buried in the grounds of
351
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,640
the lodge of the Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffaloes.
352
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:01,840
Near Macclesfield.
353
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,160
The men still need to give it some...oomph.
354
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,640
It's not something I'd encourage in Mr Newbold.
355
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,640
You've got to let them loose sometime.
356
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:20,280
But you have to be careful, in case they turn out to be ravening wolves.
357
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,560
I think you're safe enough with Mr Newbold.
358
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:31,440
Hey, let's get this thing over with and then, er...
359
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,640
we can go and make some magic together.
360
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,240
You've got to pick my mother up.
361
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,720
You'll regret this when I'm irresistible to women.
362
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,160
There'll be a queue.
363
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,040
Maybe if you were at a bus stop.
364
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:48,720
Right, places, everybody.
365
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,560
Clear your throats.
366
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:54,920
Get all your coughs and sneezes over with. This is our last rehearsal.
367
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:59,240
Let's make it a good 'un. Come on, open your books.
368
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:03,880
- We ought to go see Uncle Gerald.
- Again? Oh, he doesn't recognise us.
369
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,600
Well, he knows when it's mealtimes.
370
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,000
He thought I was German.
371
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,760
Well, you CAN be a bit that way inclined.
372
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,880
Stay there, Mr Newbold. I'll soon be back at your side.
373
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,920
I'm beginning to feel she's at both sides.
374
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,960
Granville, you're a man of experience.
375
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,520
I'd like you to come upstairs to my bedroom
376
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,200
and take a look at a damp patch.
377
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:40,200
I think you'll need a builder for that, Mrs Featherstone.
378
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:44,160
Come and look at my damp patch, Granville. We can build on that.
379
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:53,800
Come along, people. Let's get this show on the road.
380
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,280
SHE SIGHS
381
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:58,480
Hey, so where's this lad of yours?
382
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:03,520
Ooh! Well, the last time I saw him, he was, er, dressed as an elf.
383
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,320
Ooh!
384
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,120
Right, take those glasses off!
385
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,400
You can wrap this up for Christmas, and all.
386
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,560
Take your hands off my husband.
387
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,640
Look at me, Norm.
388
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,840
You're not fit to be loose.
389
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,000
And stop grinning!
390
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,640
You've got some grovelling to do!
391
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:37,400
You look like you might be a baritone.
392
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,960
Well, I'm no soprano.
393
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:44,000
Hmm. Good. Give it some volume.
394
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,640
Hey, what have you got there?
395
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:53,320
- It clears all your passages.
- Oh!
396
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:57,080
Do you want a throat pastille, everyone? It clears your passages.
397
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:02,760
We need all the help we can get if we're going to beat Finkle Street.
398
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:10,040
# Good King Wenceslas looked out
399
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:13,640
# On the feast of Stephen
400
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:17,240
# When the snow lay round about... #
401
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,920
THEY COUGH
402
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,920
SINGING AND COUGHING
403
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:36,200
COUGHING AND WAILING
404
00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:50,880
'I think that's the first time
405
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:54,160
'I've heard people COUGHING Good King Wenceslas.
406
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:05,920
'Lucky I sent some of those pastilles round to Finkle Street.
407
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,120
'After all, it IS the season of goodwill.'
408
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,240
HE GRUNTS
409
00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:21,840
I knew you could get Cliff back home if anyone could.
410
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,720
I thought you were singing.
411
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:25,680
I got hiccups in Denbigh Street.
412
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:29,280
A-ha! You need a shock.
413
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,920
Will it be a shock if you're expecting one?
414
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,440
Trust me, I'm tricky. Come here.
415
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,320
THEY CHUCKLE, SINGING IN DISTANCE
416
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,560
Oh, listen! Right.
417
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:43,120
Hang about. Right.
418
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:49,240
# Sleep in heavenly peace
419
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:54,840
# Sleep in heavenly peace. #
32538
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