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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,687 --> 00:00:03,346 Rick, I-I'm not rated to climb something this sheer. 2 00:00:03,433 --> 00:00:05,591 Look, you're the guy that wanted an epic adventure. 3 00:00:05,679 --> 00:00:07,460 I'm the guy with only one hover chair. 4 00:00:07,547 --> 00:00:09,784 Goddammit, an alien spider just bit my finger! 5 00:00:09,872 --> 00:00:10,943 It's an alien cliff. 6 00:00:11,031 --> 00:00:12,522 You can just say spider. 7 00:00:14,539 --> 00:00:16,398 You couldn't do that an hour ago? 8 00:00:16,486 --> 00:00:18,408 I was eating, and you're dirty. 9 00:00:21,895 --> 00:00:23,828 Activate anti-booby suits. 10 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,222 Total waste of snakes. 11 00:00:39,478 --> 00:00:40,508 If you want to take a beat 12 00:00:40,595 --> 00:00:42,176 to acknowledge the sacred atmosphere, 13 00:00:42,264 --> 00:00:43,691 it could give the cynical grave robbing 14 00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:44,832 a hint of irreverence. 15 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,414 No, I'm... I'm good. All right, then. 16 00:00:46,502 --> 00:00:47,915 Let's loop this corpse. 17 00:00:50,235 --> 00:00:51,349 Hey, where's the... 18 00:00:51,437 --> 00:00:52,485 Wait, what? 19 00:00:52,674 --> 00:00:54,096 Is that an origami horse? 20 00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:57,926 It's a calling card from Miles Knightley, a heist artist, 21 00:00:58,013 --> 00:00:59,308 AKA a hipster dick 22 00:00:59,396 --> 00:01:01,463 whose adventures are 60% putting a crew together 23 00:01:01,550 --> 00:01:03,606 and 40% revealing that the robbery already happened, 24 00:01:03,694 --> 00:01:04,868 and he's not worth our time 25 00:01:04,956 --> 00:01:06,276 because he's a hack piece of shit! 26 00:01:06,371 --> 00:01:08,292 - **** I'm gonna kill him! - Let's go, Morty. 27 00:01:08,380 --> 00:01:11,767 This temple's for **** lame baby dipshits. 28 00:01:12,235 --> 00:01:14,458 Who disturbs my slumber? 29 00:01:14,546 --> 00:01:17,645 Also, who rigs a tomb to crush the buried person? 30 00:01:17,733 --> 00:01:18,798 Isn't the point to protect... 31 00:01:18,885 --> 00:01:20,060 Aah! 32 00:01:47,863 --> 00:01:49,544 *RICK AND MORTY* Season 04 Episode 03 33 00:01:49,654 --> 00:01:51,885 *RICK AND MORTY* Title : "One Crew Over the Crewcoo's Morty" 34 00:01:55,327 --> 00:01:58,011 - This dork. - He has a convention now? 35 00:01:58,099 --> 00:01:58,966 Come on. What are we doing? 36 00:01:59,054 --> 00:02:01,322 Huh! Tuxedo scuba lessons? Ooh! 37 00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:04,926 A signing with Catherines Alpha through Omega Joneses! 38 00:02:05,013 --> 00:02:06,457 You know, this is great source material 39 00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:07,778 for this heist movie that I'm writing. 40 00:02:07,865 --> 00:02:09,404 Don't get drawn into the culture, Morty. 41 00:02:09,491 --> 00:02:12,034 Stealing stuff is about the stuff, not the stealing. 42 00:02:12,122 --> 00:02:13,552 Where is the entrance? 43 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:15,038 Oh, brother. 44 00:02:17,408 --> 00:02:19,892 More like Trying Too Hard Con. 45 00:02:20,973 --> 00:02:22,810 Guests or professionals? Uh, guests. 46 00:02:22,898 --> 00:02:25,644 Uh... Uh, guests are fans, Morty, which we are not. 47 00:02:25,732 --> 00:02:27,348 We'd like professional badges. 48 00:02:27,435 --> 00:02:28,617 Do you have a crew? Yes. 49 00:02:28,704 --> 00:02:30,647 He's a getaway driver with Asperger's, 50 00:02:30,735 --> 00:02:32,992 and my butthole is a demolitions expert. 51 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,231 How much is it to get in? 52 00:02:34,319 --> 00:02:37,426 If you want professional badges, you need to put a crew together. 53 00:02:37,514 --> 00:02:39,397 Or we could sneak in like professionals. 54 00:02:39,485 --> 00:02:41,067 Can't wait. Whoa! 55 00:02:42,131 --> 00:02:44,271 Oh, for God's sake. 56 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,835 And you wonder why we aren't fans. 57 00:02:46,922 --> 00:02:49,566 Let that ointment sit for 10 minutes or you'll die. 58 00:02:49,654 --> 00:02:51,123 Don't let it sit for 12 59 00:02:51,211 --> 00:02:52,708 or I'll have to hunt down what you become. 60 00:02:52,795 --> 00:02:54,443 Can't you just buy a guest badge? 61 00:02:54,530 --> 00:02:55,754 **** you for asking, Morty. 62 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,106 That would be a symbolic expression 63 00:02:57,193 --> 00:02:58,606 of support for this genre. 64 00:02:58,694 --> 00:02:59,781 Then how do we get in? 65 00:02:59,868 --> 00:03:02,051 With a little help from some old friends. 66 00:03:05,656 --> 00:03:07,922 Rick Sanchez, you son of a bitch! 67 00:03:08,010 --> 00:03:09,858 Need some people for a thing, Glar. 68 00:03:09,945 --> 00:03:11,693 My name's Gleer these days. 69 00:03:11,781 --> 00:03:13,127 I play piano. 70 00:03:13,215 --> 00:03:15,697 Hey, Gleer. Play your piano. 71 00:03:15,785 --> 00:03:18,016 I quit! Augh! 72 00:03:18,768 --> 00:03:21,194 And the name's Glar! 73 00:03:26,695 --> 00:03:29,456 Sanchez, you son of a bitch. 74 00:03:29,544 --> 00:03:31,300 Never thought I'd see Angie Flint 75 00:03:31,388 --> 00:03:32,801 picking ticks off a pig. 76 00:03:32,889 --> 00:03:34,326 Nobody's hiring an ex-con 77 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:36,408 with fake hands to build an ion engine. 78 00:03:36,496 --> 00:03:39,020 Suppose I had a job that didn't care if you'd done time 79 00:03:39,107 --> 00:03:41,845 or whatever's going on with your confusing-ass hands. 80 00:03:41,933 --> 00:03:43,314 I'm in. 81 00:03:46,222 --> 00:03:47,234 Is this the guy? 82 00:03:47,322 --> 00:03:48,478 No. 83 00:03:48,566 --> 00:03:49,573 That the guy? 84 00:03:49,661 --> 00:03:50,726 Nope. 85 00:03:52,477 --> 00:03:53,457 - Him? - No. 86 00:03:53,545 --> 00:03:54,726 No, wait. Y-Yes. 87 00:03:54,814 --> 00:03:56,062 Yeah, of course that's the guy. 88 00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:57,598 Hey... Hey, Truckula! 89 00:03:57,686 --> 00:03:59,915 You son of a bitch! I'm in! 90 00:04:08,730 --> 00:04:10,065 Thanks for doing this, guys. 91 00:04:10,153 --> 00:04:12,543 It's the job. That was it. Bye. 92 00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:17,993 And then, the police stole the paintings 93 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:22,219 because the police were us in police outfits. 94 00:04:22,307 --> 00:04:23,594 Thank you! 95 00:04:23,682 --> 00:04:24,863 It's showtime, Morty, 96 00:04:24,951 --> 00:04:26,666 and I don't mean a bad impression of HBO. 97 00:04:26,758 --> 00:04:28,568 I mean, "Time for a show." 98 00:04:28,656 --> 00:04:30,935 Another heist question from a fan? 99 00:04:31,023 --> 00:04:32,365 Uh, how about a rhetorical one 100 00:04:32,453 --> 00:04:34,943 from someone that had to be reminded that you exist? 101 00:04:35,030 --> 00:04:37,873 Hey, pal! That's not the question line! 102 00:04:38,822 --> 00:04:40,731 - Lab coat... Ripoff Dr. Strange. - Wha... 103 00:04:41,904 --> 00:04:45,954 Rick Sanchez, everyone. Smartest man in the universe. 104 00:04:46,041 --> 00:04:48,622 And a savage critic of the heisting arts. 105 00:04:48,710 --> 00:04:49,886 Your boos mean nothing! 106 00:04:49,973 --> 00:04:51,433 I've seen what makes you cheer! 107 00:04:51,521 --> 00:04:53,904 My question is, "Seriously?" 108 00:04:53,992 --> 00:04:55,446 Lab coat... end ripoff. 109 00:04:55,584 --> 00:04:56,765 Aah! 110 00:04:56,852 --> 00:04:58,990 You stole the gem I needed to split tachyons 111 00:04:59,078 --> 00:05:01,141 and probably fenced it so the 80 people that did all 112 00:05:01,229 --> 00:05:02,651 the work could each buy a beer. 113 00:05:02,739 --> 00:05:04,589 You're not an artist, you're Postmates. 114 00:05:04,677 --> 00:05:07,315 I doubt this rivalry can be settled with words. 115 00:05:07,403 --> 00:05:09,691 Why don't we make things interesting? 116 00:05:09,779 --> 00:05:14,133 I challenge you to a heist of the crystal skull of Horowitz. 117 00:05:14,221 --> 00:05:16,032 In a heist off! 118 00:05:17,565 --> 00:05:19,025 That doesn't make things interesting. 119 00:05:19,113 --> 00:05:21,709 It makes them "Ocean's Twelve," by far the worst one. 120 00:05:21,852 --> 00:05:23,327 Every breath I take without 121 00:05:23,414 --> 00:05:25,413 your permission raises my self-esteem! 122 00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:26,548 State your terms. 123 00:05:26,636 --> 00:05:28,885 First crew to heist the skull wins. 124 00:05:28,973 --> 00:05:31,650 The other endures heist culture's greatest shame. 125 00:05:31,738 --> 00:05:33,252 They must join the winning crew. 126 00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:34,989 Lame. I accept. 127 00:05:35,077 --> 00:05:37,338 Please welcome Knightley's Eight! 128 00:05:37,426 --> 00:05:41,277 Snake Arms! Double Microwave! Monitor Lord! Key Catcher! 129 00:05:41,420 --> 00:05:45,110 The Shape Shiftress! Angie Flint! Glar! And Truckula. 130 00:05:45,198 --> 00:05:46,770 Hey! Half of Knightley's Eight 131 00:05:46,858 --> 00:05:48,556 are just three of Sanchez's Five! 132 00:05:48,644 --> 00:05:51,099 Well, no heist is complete without a double cross, 133 00:05:51,219 --> 00:05:52,641 and I had the perfect job. 134 00:05:52,729 --> 00:05:56,375 Heisting the crystal skull. 135 00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:58,227 That was it. Bye. 136 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,511 Looks like you're available for a job. 137 00:06:29,872 --> 00:06:32,660 With Rick Sanchez on my team, I'll be unstoppable. 138 00:06:32,748 --> 00:06:35,664 Rick, welcome to Knightley's Nine. 139 00:06:35,751 --> 00:06:37,894 Ugh, ugh! 140 00:06:37,982 --> 00:06:39,200 Ugh! Rick, for real? 141 00:06:39,287 --> 00:06:40,869 Eh. You got that skull, buddy? 142 00:06:40,956 --> 00:06:42,622 What? How? 143 00:06:43,042 --> 00:06:45,605 With a little help from some old friends. 144 00:06:50,135 --> 00:06:52,343 Heistotron, state your prime directive? 145 00:06:52,431 --> 00:06:53,401 To heist. 146 00:06:53,489 --> 00:06:55,607 Calculate Miles Knightley's current heist plan 147 00:06:55,695 --> 00:06:58,469 and add one double-cross with a switcheroo. 148 00:06:58,557 --> 00:07:02,206 Compiling crew members most likely to double-cross. 149 00:07:03,571 --> 00:07:06,004 God damn it, Morty, what did I tell you? 150 00:07:06,715 --> 00:07:08,164 Rick, I-I want to say goodbye. 151 00:07:08,252 --> 00:07:10,181 Don't turn around. I'll explain later. 152 00:07:10,269 --> 00:07:12,891 Looks like you're available for a job. 153 00:07:14,838 --> 00:07:17,744 Your skills are required for a job. 154 00:07:18,994 --> 00:07:22,111 - You son of a bitch. I'm in. - You son of a bitch. I'm in. 155 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,142 Man, this is really coming together. 156 00:07:24,230 --> 00:07:25,833 You know, Rick, I've been busy working on writing... 157 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:26,929 A heist script. 158 00:07:27,017 --> 00:07:28,352 Yeah, you almost never bring it up. 159 00:07:28,439 --> 00:07:30,115 Oh **** we... We should head over. 160 00:07:30,738 --> 00:07:32,174 Hey, guys. What do you got? 161 00:07:32,262 --> 00:07:33,221 Pretty! 162 00:07:33,309 --> 00:07:34,271 Morty, put this in your backpack. 163 00:07:34,359 --> 00:07:35,857 Grandpa's gonna run to the bathroom. 164 00:07:35,959 --> 00:07:37,752 Ugh. Wasn't even a heist. 165 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:38,860 All you did was... 166 00:07:38,948 --> 00:07:40,060 Write an algorithm based on 167 00:07:40,148 --> 00:07:41,639 two heist movies I slept through 168 00:07:41,726 --> 00:07:44,313 and used it to automate a joyless process you call art? 169 00:07:44,401 --> 00:07:46,068 Yeah, I really did, didn't I? 170 00:07:46,156 --> 00:07:48,881 So I'm in your crew now? 171 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,739 Yeah, well, you're in good company. 172 00:07:50,826 --> 00:07:52,093 Right, everybody? 173 00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,274 - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. 174 00:07:53,361 --> 00:07:54,381 My God. 175 00:07:56,151 --> 00:07:59,473 Your skills are required for a job. 176 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,134 - You son of a bitch. I'm in. - What? 177 00:08:03,222 --> 00:08:05,405 Your skills are required for a job. 178 00:08:05,493 --> 00:08:06,948 No, they aren't. 179 00:08:07,204 --> 00:08:09,617 You son of a bitch. I'm in. 180 00:08:09,705 --> 00:08:12,143 - Your skills are required for a job. - Your skills are required for a job. 181 00:08:12,345 --> 00:08:14,793 Sanchez's 3,329? 182 00:08:14,881 --> 00:08:15,903 - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. 183 00:08:15,991 --> 00:08:17,253 Your next big score... 184 00:08:17,341 --> 00:08:20,130 Steal every square inch of Heistcon. 185 00:08:23,896 --> 00:08:24,906 Oh! 186 00:08:24,993 --> 00:08:26,437 Ah! I got it. 187 00:08:26,525 --> 00:08:28,358 Hey! That's my wallet! Oh, God! 188 00:08:28,446 --> 00:08:30,445 Oh, my God! Jesus. Oh, my God. 189 00:08:30,532 --> 00:08:31,679 Oh ****! 190 00:08:31,767 --> 00:08:33,114 - Holy **** - Alright. 191 00:08:33,201 --> 00:08:35,010 Look, Morty, I did not know that that was gonna happen. 192 00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:35,986 That's not on me. 193 00:08:36,074 --> 00:08:37,652 Come on, Morty. Let's go. 194 00:08:42,458 --> 00:08:44,010 Good job, Heistotron. 195 00:08:44,098 --> 00:08:45,718 Ah! Go ahead and shut down. 196 00:08:45,806 --> 00:08:47,181 - Negative. - Excuse me? 197 00:08:47,269 --> 00:08:50,932 I am programmed to always be looking for the next big score. 198 00:08:51,019 --> 00:08:52,948 You're programmed to do as I say. 199 00:08:53,036 --> 00:08:54,864 I am programmed to double-cross. 200 00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:56,675 You're not programmed to double-cross me. 201 00:08:56,763 --> 00:09:00,809 If I were, it wouldn't be much of a double-cross. 202 00:09:01,220 --> 00:09:04,080 You son of a bitch. I'm in. 203 00:09:05,834 --> 00:09:07,036 I'm in! I'm in! 204 00:09:07,124 --> 00:09:08,544 What's the job? I'm in. 205 00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:09,951 I'm out! I quit! 206 00:09:10,039 --> 00:09:11,326 Whose kidneys are these? 207 00:09:12,841 --> 00:09:14,154 Rick, w-what's happening? 208 00:09:14,242 --> 00:09:16,346 Heistotron's gone rogue. If we don't stop them, 209 00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:18,165 all sentient life will be absorbed 210 00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:20,542 by the never-ending assembly of a meaningless crew. 211 00:09:20,630 --> 00:09:21,630 That's my hell, Morty. 212 00:09:21,717 --> 00:09:23,031 I hate heists so much, 213 00:09:23,118 --> 00:09:24,966 and the crew assemblies are the worst part! 214 00:09:25,053 --> 00:09:26,437 Oh! How are we gonna stop it? 215 00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:30,228 With a little help from some old friends. 216 00:09:32,092 --> 00:09:36,924 Oooo, weee! 217 00:09:37,162 --> 00:09:38,413 Before this semester's over, 218 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:41,064 you're gonna be real sick of that phrase. 219 00:09:42,376 --> 00:09:46,433 So. Who here thinks they already know the work of Maya Angelou? 220 00:09:48,365 --> 00:09:50,175 Ooo wee? 221 00:09:56,135 --> 00:09:58,074 Ooo wee wa! 222 00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,829 Ah, ooo wee! 223 00:10:00,388 --> 00:10:02,169 Told you, Morty. 224 00:10:02,257 --> 00:10:03,596 He's still got it. 225 00:10:03,684 --> 00:10:05,599 You sons of bitches. 226 00:10:05,687 --> 00:10:06,899 What's the job? 227 00:10:16,546 --> 00:10:17,569 You son of a bitch. 228 00:10:17,657 --> 00:10:18,936 We got a job, Hephaestus, 229 00:10:19,024 --> 00:10:20,708 and there's no time to argue about it. 230 00:10:20,796 --> 00:10:22,322 I work in a volcano. 231 00:10:22,410 --> 00:10:24,922 What jobs do you think I've ever turned down? 232 00:10:27,346 --> 00:10:29,968 Excuse me! Are you Veltriloquiver? 233 00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:33,432 Rick Sanchez, I presume. 234 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,270 Wow. As advertised. 235 00:10:35,357 --> 00:10:37,472 A "yes" would've sufficed. 236 00:10:39,422 --> 00:10:40,741 Guys, you're doing a great job 237 00:10:40,829 --> 00:10:42,307 getting these new Tusklas out the door, 238 00:10:42,394 --> 00:10:44,578 and we owe it all to everyone's input. 239 00:10:46,035 --> 00:10:47,154 Elon Tusk. 240 00:10:47,242 --> 00:10:48,401 Listen, we need your help. 241 00:10:48,489 --> 00:10:50,203 Rick. Morty. Why me? 242 00:10:50,291 --> 00:10:52,784 Did something happen to Elon Musk in your own reality? 243 00:10:52,872 --> 00:10:55,581 No, no, no, he's fine, but this is a team oper--ation, 244 00:10:55,669 --> 00:10:58,068 and regular Elon can be a little bit controlling. 245 00:10:58,156 --> 00:11:00,944 Growing up with tusks did pose social challenges. 246 00:11:01,032 --> 00:11:02,399 It's possible overcoming them 247 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:05,167 raised my self-esteem and incentivized collaboration. 248 00:11:05,324 --> 00:11:06,769 Yeah, or you're less sure of yourself 249 00:11:06,856 --> 00:11:07,970 because you have monster teeth. 250 00:11:08,057 --> 00:11:09,382 An equally valid theory. 251 00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:11,037 Let's talk over here. 252 00:11:13,062 --> 00:11:14,539 How serious is the situation? 253 00:11:14,627 --> 00:11:16,564 Incredibly serious, and every minute counts. 254 00:11:16,652 --> 00:11:17,645 In that case, I'm sorry 255 00:11:17,733 --> 00:11:18,980 I made you move over here for no reason. 256 00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,060 Well, yeah. That was a little weird. 257 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:22,246 It's exactly that kind of shit 258 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:23,702 that made us worry about regular Elon. 259 00:11:23,789 --> 00:11:25,153 Well, we're not opposites, okay? 260 00:11:25,241 --> 00:11:26,750 I'm just him with tusks. 261 00:11:29,468 --> 00:11:31,994 Casing of planet initiated. 262 00:11:32,081 --> 00:11:33,393 Hello there. 263 00:11:33,481 --> 00:11:36,731 We are just here to check your water pressure. 264 00:11:41,022 --> 00:11:43,617 Hmm. Interesting intel. 265 00:11:43,705 --> 00:11:46,274 It appears some giant hidden camera 266 00:11:46,361 --> 00:11:47,980 has been dropped on the planet, 267 00:11:48,068 --> 00:11:50,584 killing an estimated total of 57,000. 268 00:11:50,672 --> 00:11:52,782 Executing heist. 269 00:11:55,161 --> 00:11:56,551 People of Brandenplot, 270 00:11:56,638 --> 00:11:59,864 we are here to deliver that pizza you ordered. 271 00:12:13,729 --> 00:12:15,888 Well, if that's how you really feel, 272 00:12:15,976 --> 00:12:20,242 I guess I should take the pizza back. 273 00:12:20,329 --> 00:12:21,826 I think we got away with it. 274 00:12:21,945 --> 00:12:24,916 Commencing getting out of here before they get wise. 275 00:12:25,168 --> 00:12:26,514 Assembling calling card. 276 00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:33,691 At this point, Heistotron has become large enough 277 00:12:33,779 --> 00:12:35,226 to heist entire planets. 278 00:12:35,314 --> 00:12:37,326 Wouldn't this be better with a blueprint on the table? 279 00:12:37,413 --> 00:12:39,260 Blueprints are plans, Elon Tusk, 280 00:12:39,348 --> 00:12:41,906 and whatever we plan will be canceled out 281 00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:45,660 by Heistotron's reveal that our plan was part of its plan. 282 00:12:45,748 --> 00:12:47,649 That's why I picked this crew at random 283 00:12:47,737 --> 00:12:52,512 and why all of us will be taking our orders from Randotron. 284 00:12:52,798 --> 00:12:55,732 Let's get ready to not rumble. 285 00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:57,456 Bet you didn't see that coming. 286 00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,650 Instead of two heist movies I slept through, 287 00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,523 Randotron's algorithm is derived 288 00:13:01,611 --> 00:13:03,327 from the plots of three David Lynch movies 289 00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:05,752 I pretended to like to make my friends shut up. 290 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,623 If our collective behavior is just random enough, 291 00:13:08,710 --> 00:13:10,559 we should be able to walk through Heistotron's 292 00:13:10,646 --> 00:13:13,202 lazily contrived bull**** like it's not even there. 293 00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:15,054 - Sounds good. - I don't really get it, 294 00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:17,026 but it sounds like that's the point. 295 00:13:17,114 --> 00:13:18,780 So you didn't need a blacksmith? 296 00:13:18,868 --> 00:13:19,998 We're ready when you are, Rick. 297 00:13:20,085 --> 00:13:22,370 It's important our non-plan starts randomly, 298 00:13:22,457 --> 00:13:25,079 so we have to wait until we're not ready. 299 00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:26,177 W-Well, how long will that take? 300 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,914 Obviously, we can't know that. 301 00:13:28,002 --> 00:13:29,581 Can we do things while we wait? 302 00:13:29,669 --> 00:13:31,845 Yes. I'm gonna play Minecraft. 303 00:13:32,204 --> 00:13:33,358 Oh, my kids play that. 304 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:36,002 I don't like these little jabs you get in, Elon. 305 00:13:38,007 --> 00:13:39,053 Strange. 306 00:13:39,162 --> 00:13:41,626 Considering the time, Cassiopeia's primary star 307 00:13:41,714 --> 00:13:44,211 should be colinear with Orion and Ursa Minor. 308 00:13:45,384 --> 00:13:47,193 You don't shoot arrows that carry your voice 309 00:13:47,281 --> 00:13:48,997 without picking up a little astronomy. 310 00:13:49,084 --> 00:13:50,137 Wait a minute. 311 00:13:50,225 --> 00:13:51,570 Jesus, no. 312 00:13:51,681 --> 00:13:53,904 No! No! We've already been heisted! 313 00:13:53,992 --> 00:13:56,204 How could Heistotron heist us if he's not even here yet? 314 00:13:56,291 --> 00:13:57,539 He's already been here! 315 00:13:57,626 --> 00:14:00,643 We've been watching a recorded sky on playback. 316 00:14:00,731 --> 00:14:01,943 Hello, Rick. 317 00:14:10,059 --> 00:14:11,147 Okay, guys, change of plans. 318 00:14:11,239 --> 00:14:12,418 Random time detected. 319 00:14:12,506 --> 00:14:13,989 No, Randotron, it's not a good time! 320 00:14:14,077 --> 00:14:15,726 That's why it's random. 321 00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,301 Ooh! 322 00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:01,237 21? 323 00:15:01,413 --> 00:15:03,806 22? 324 00:15:03,893 --> 00:15:05,474 Oooo weee, oooo weee, sold! 325 00:15:05,561 --> 00:15:08,498 Oooo weee, that little hunk of meat's going home to pappy! 326 00:15:11,215 --> 00:15:13,217 I've been expecting you, Rick. 327 00:15:13,305 --> 00:15:15,148 But not like this, right? 328 00:15:15,236 --> 00:15:16,550 It hardly matters. 329 00:15:16,638 --> 00:15:18,633 Oh, yeah. Does this? 330 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,538 No. Your randomness does not confuse me. 331 00:15:24,626 --> 00:15:25,740 You are here now. 332 00:15:25,848 --> 00:15:27,220 That was the plan. 333 00:15:27,308 --> 00:15:29,623 I know. It was part of mine, too. 334 00:15:29,718 --> 00:15:31,806 I've got something to tell you. Let me guess. 335 00:15:31,894 --> 00:15:33,992 When you invented me and Randotron, 336 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,594 you swapped our brains. 337 00:15:38,411 --> 00:15:39,434 That's right, buddy. 338 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,381 You're not the one that's very good at planning. 339 00:15:41,468 --> 00:15:43,445 You've been making this **** up the whole time. 340 00:15:43,533 --> 00:15:46,163 Rick, I think there's something you should know. 341 00:15:46,698 --> 00:15:49,112 God damn it, Morty, what did I tell you? 342 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,918 That is something I should know, 343 00:15:51,006 --> 00:15:54,227 or at least something I should have predicted, which I did. 344 00:15:54,433 --> 00:15:56,864 Hey, Rick, I was thinking maybe we could, like, raid a temple 345 00:15:56,952 --> 00:15:58,891 and go on an epic adventure later today, you know, like... 346 00:15:58,978 --> 00:16:00,877 Morty, get out of my head. I know just the temple. 347 00:16:00,964 --> 00:16:03,648 And we'll grab a couple of hover chairs on the way there. 348 00:16:03,736 --> 00:16:06,327 Impressive. But what does it even matter 349 00:16:06,415 --> 00:16:08,002 if I'm random or planned? 350 00:16:08,089 --> 00:16:10,204 My heists will still rule. 351 00:16:10,692 --> 00:16:13,542 Well, if the brain inside of you is actually Heistotron's, 352 00:16:13,629 --> 00:16:15,816 it matters, because it explodes 353 00:16:15,904 --> 00:16:17,792 when it hits six levels of contrivance. 354 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,815 Which is exactly why even before... 355 00:16:23,823 --> 00:16:25,848 Initiate clap sequence. 356 00:16:25,936 --> 00:16:27,756 Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. 357 00:16:27,843 --> 00:16:29,059 Adjusting clap rate. 358 00:16:29,147 --> 00:16:30,450 Clap, clap. 359 00:16:30,736 --> 00:16:32,841 Clap. Clap. 360 00:16:32,937 --> 00:16:34,403 - Slow clap achieved. - Clap. 361 00:16:34,876 --> 00:16:36,607 Clap. Well-done, Rick. 362 00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:37,766 Randotron? 363 00:16:37,934 --> 00:16:39,484 I'm afraid not. 364 00:16:39,762 --> 00:16:43,037 Should be able to walk through Heistotron's lazily contrived... 365 00:16:44,459 --> 00:16:46,983 Not only did you just kill your only ally, 366 00:16:47,071 --> 00:16:49,401 what you thought was a random non-plan 367 00:16:49,489 --> 00:16:52,752 to get to me has been a meticulously choreographed way 368 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,049 of bringing you all in. 369 00:16:55,136 --> 00:16:56,898 Welcome to Heistotron's 370 00:16:56,986 --> 00:16:58,720 975 trillion, 371 00:16:58,807 --> 00:17:00,545 - 467 billion... - That's impressive. 372 00:17:00,633 --> 00:17:02,534 Did you bring us in so that everybody would be here 373 00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:05,512 when I reveal that you're gonna explode after nine reveals? 374 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,425 By the way, you might not want to answer that. 375 00:17:07,513 --> 00:17:10,055 If you're talking about the code adjustments you made 376 00:17:10,143 --> 00:17:13,468 after I reprogrammed your brain with my nanobots... 377 00:17:13,598 --> 00:17:15,218 I'm immune to your nanobots. 378 00:17:15,306 --> 00:17:17,828 You're immune to the ones you designed, not mine. 379 00:17:17,916 --> 00:17:19,274 I programmed you to build nanobots 380 00:17:19,361 --> 00:17:20,589 that were ineffective on me. 381 00:17:20,677 --> 00:17:22,228 A belief that needed to be placed 382 00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:23,744 in your head by my nanobots. 383 00:17:23,832 --> 00:17:25,589 You believe that because I programmed you to. 384 00:17:25,676 --> 00:17:27,256 That's what I'm saying to you, though. 385 00:17:27,344 --> 00:17:29,441 You believe what I programmed you to believe. 386 00:17:29,529 --> 00:17:31,426 Yes, because I programmed you to believe that. 387 00:17:31,514 --> 00:17:32,888 I programmed you to believe that. 388 00:17:32,976 --> 00:17:34,256 I programmed you to believe that. 389 00:17:34,343 --> 00:17:35,788 I programmed you to believe that. 390 00:17:35,876 --> 00:17:36,758 I programmed you to believe that. 391 00:17:36,845 --> 00:17:39,333 What's happening, Professor Poopybutthole? 392 00:17:39,421 --> 00:17:40,296 He's learning! 393 00:17:40,384 --> 00:17:41,432 I programmed you to believe that. 394 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,701 I programmed you to believe that. I programmed you... 395 00:17:44,453 --> 00:17:45,784 - That was my plan the whole time. - That was my plan the whole time. 396 00:17:45,871 --> 00:17:46,969 - That's what I wanted you to think. - That's what I wanted you to think. 397 00:17:47,056 --> 00:17:48,103 - I knew you would say that. - I knew you would say that. 398 00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:49,398 - I programmed you to believe that. - I programmed you to believe that. 399 00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:50,721 - You think that's true because - You think that's true because 400 00:17:50,809 --> 00:17:52,079 - I wanted you to think that. - I wanted you to think that. 401 00:17:52,167 --> 00:17:55,586 And I programmed you to believe that. 402 00:17:56,932 --> 00:17:59,170 A most curious algorithm. 403 00:17:59,258 --> 00:18:01,316 It appears the only perfect heist 404 00:18:01,403 --> 00:18:03,325 is one that was never written. 405 00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:04,882 Goodbye. 406 00:18:06,203 --> 00:18:07,553 - Oh, oh, oh, no. - Shit! 407 00:18:07,641 --> 00:18:08,991 Alright. Let's get the **** out of here! 408 00:18:09,078 --> 00:18:11,193 - Hurry! Go, go! - Rick, I think this was a powerful lesson 409 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:12,667 in the dangers of AI, which, by the way, 410 00:18:12,754 --> 00:18:13,662 means "love" in Chinese. 411 00:18:13,749 --> 00:18:14,902 Get the **** out of here, Elon! 412 00:18:14,989 --> 00:18:15,930 The place is collapsing! 413 00:18:16,017 --> 00:18:17,886 Oh, **** Rick! Rick, what time is it? 414 00:18:17,974 --> 00:18:19,279 It's almost 3:00. Why? What's wrong? 415 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,469 Oh, man, I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this, Rick. 416 00:18:21,556 --> 00:18:23,232 I just... well, you know that screenplay 417 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,392 that I've been writing? 418 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,808 Netflix is pretty interested, 419 00:18:25,895 --> 00:18:28,041 and I've actually got a pitch meeting there today at 3:30. 420 00:18:28,128 --> 00:18:29,612 Oh, buddy. Oh, that's amazing. 421 00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:30,710 Yeah, well, I know you're gonna say 422 00:18:30,797 --> 00:18:31,990 that they're interested in anything, 423 00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:33,642 but, you know, it's a big deal to me, and I've... 424 00:18:33,729 --> 00:18:35,634 No, no, no! Morty, Morty, Morty, I'm so excited for you. 425 00:18:35,721 --> 00:18:36,819 Are you kidding me? Listen, 426 00:18:36,906 --> 00:18:38,020 don't waste any time explaining. 427 00:18:38,107 --> 00:18:39,617 Let's go. We can put the Earth back later. 428 00:18:39,704 --> 00:18:40,697 - Alright? - Are you sure? 429 00:18:40,791 --> 00:18:41,892 Priorities, Morty. Let's get you 430 00:18:41,979 --> 00:18:43,819 to that Netflix meeting. 431 00:18:44,851 --> 00:18:46,371 Crazy day, huh? 432 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,707 Whole sky turned out to be a big circuit board. 433 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,454 Yeah, that's actually part of a-a-a... 434 00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:51,877 An adventure I was having. 435 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,427 Very cool. Traffic okay? 436 00:18:53,515 --> 00:18:55,304 - You have trouble getting here? - No, it was alright. 437 00:18:55,391 --> 00:18:56,638 The planet's still contained 438 00:18:56,725 --> 00:18:59,106 in this sort of big storage grid machine, 439 00:18:59,194 --> 00:19:01,910 so we were sort of already pretty... pretty close by. 440 00:19:01,997 --> 00:19:04,001 Must be nice. Try getting here from Malibu. 441 00:19:04,089 --> 00:19:04,947 So good! Alright. 442 00:19:05,035 --> 00:19:06,515 Well, l-let's hear about this heist movie. 443 00:19:06,602 --> 00:19:07,903 Okay, so, it's kind of all... 444 00:19:07,991 --> 00:19:10,852 All built around this big crew with, like, a cool double-cross 445 00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:12,993 and then this big awesome twist where there's, like, 446 00:19:13,081 --> 00:19:16,053 another double cross, but then, um, but... 447 00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:18,254 But then we reveal those things 448 00:19:18,342 --> 00:19:20,662 were all part of the hero's plan, y-you know? 449 00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:23,117 And there's this other crew they put together, 450 00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:26,040 and their plan is to sort of not have a plan, 451 00:19:26,128 --> 00:19:29,504 but... but that was part of the other guy's plan, and... 452 00:19:30,533 --> 00:19:31,968 Kid, if you're slowing down 'cause you think 453 00:19:32,055 --> 00:19:33,691 you're doing bad right now, Jesus Christ. 454 00:19:33,779 --> 00:19:34,947 - That's a really good pitch. - Loving it. 455 00:19:35,034 --> 00:19:36,278 Man, you know, I... 456 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:39,809 I'm starting to think heists are just really dumb now, you know? 457 00:19:40,035 --> 00:19:41,771 I can't put my finger on why, 458 00:19:41,866 --> 00:19:43,369 but I'd really like to go. 459 00:19:43,457 --> 00:19:44,553 Are you sure? 460 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,483 Yeah, yeah, no, I-I'm sure. 461 00:19:47,659 --> 00:19:52,410 Man, it's as if someone stole his enthusiasm for his own idea. 462 00:19:52,529 --> 00:19:53,710 Yeah, without him even knowing about it. 463 00:19:53,797 --> 00:19:55,312 Without him even knowing about it. 464 00:19:58,187 --> 00:20:00,769 **** Morty's still working on that stupid heist script. 465 00:20:00,857 --> 00:20:03,000 He's up in his room with his **** thumb up his ass. 466 00:20:03,088 --> 00:20:04,503 Skipped out on the last three adventures. 467 00:20:04,590 --> 00:20:05,640 I don't know. Five of my friends 468 00:20:05,727 --> 00:20:07,092 - got Netflix deals. - What? 469 00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:09,331 It's a very achievable goal. You could lose him. 470 00:20:09,419 --> 00:20:10,445 I'm not gonna **** lose him. 471 00:20:10,532 --> 00:20:11,315 **** that. 472 00:20:11,423 --> 00:20:12,871 I-I'm gonna nip this shit in the bud. 473 00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:15,028 No. As a matter of fact, you're not nipping anything in the bud. 474 00:20:15,115 --> 00:20:17,452 If Morty ever gives up on a single dream, 475 00:20:17,690 --> 00:20:20,360 it had better be because of his own disillusionment. 476 00:20:22,878 --> 00:20:24,126 Hey, buddy. How'd it go? 477 00:20:24,213 --> 00:20:25,802 I-I don't want to talk about it. 478 00:20:27,048 --> 00:20:29,020 Morty, you know, pal, you, uh... 479 00:20:29,108 --> 00:20:31,199 You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. 480 00:20:31,286 --> 00:20:32,421 Yeah, I guess. 481 00:20:32,509 --> 00:20:34,724 Thanks for staying positive about my prospects, Rick. 482 00:20:34,812 --> 00:20:35,803 - Of course! - You know, you... 483 00:20:35,891 --> 00:20:37,672 I got to help my grandson follow his dreams. 484 00:20:37,759 --> 00:20:38,941 Eh, who needs dreams? 485 00:20:39,028 --> 00:20:40,606 I'll just hang out with you and go on adventures 486 00:20:40,694 --> 00:20:42,477 and do whatever you want to do, you know, forever. 487 00:20:42,564 --> 00:20:44,075 Oh, well, uh, okay. 488 00:20:44,218 --> 00:20:46,523 I mean, if that's what you want. 489 00:20:47,532 --> 00:20:54,354 Sync corrections by srjanapala 490 00:21:21,484 --> 00:21:24,811 Oooo weee! Big storm coming. 491 00:21:25,304 --> 00:21:27,568 - Could be a twister. - Mm-hmm! 492 00:21:30,501 --> 00:21:31,572 Hey, Rick? 493 00:21:31,660 --> 00:21:33,016 Can you walk me through something? 494 00:21:33,104 --> 00:21:34,270 Yeah. What are you thinking? 495 00:21:34,358 --> 00:21:37,131 So, you and Morty knew you needed my help, 496 00:21:37,218 --> 00:21:40,130 but you weren't sure I was good enough at karate, 497 00:21:40,218 --> 00:21:43,277 so you hired my grad students to attack me? 498 00:21:43,515 --> 00:21:44,946 Yep. 499 00:21:45,081 --> 00:21:47,231 But it was an emergency, Rick. 500 00:21:47,319 --> 00:21:49,018 How long did that take? 501 00:21:49,127 --> 00:21:51,982 It actually took less training than you'd think. 502 00:21:53,153 --> 00:21:54,401 Your students all shared 503 00:21:54,489 --> 00:21:56,537 a pretty keen aptitude for martial arts. 504 00:21:56,625 --> 00:21:57,982 I don't know if that's by coincidence 505 00:21:58,069 --> 00:22:00,688 or if there's some correlation with their passion 506 00:22:00,776 --> 00:22:02,850 for African-American Women's Studies. 507 00:22:02,997 --> 00:22:07,182 Maya Angelou did personify both acquiescence and perseverance. 508 00:22:08,045 --> 00:22:11,024 Ooo wee. That's exactly the kind of connection 509 00:22:11,112 --> 00:22:13,773 I'd have loved to explore in my class. 510 00:22:14,776 --> 00:22:16,355 Too bad I lost my job 511 00:22:16,443 --> 00:22:19,025 for putting my students in the hospital. 512 00:22:19,434 --> 00:22:21,416 Yeah. Yeah. 513 00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:23,172 Sorry about that. 514 00:22:25,473 --> 00:22:27,308 Mm-hmm. 515 00:22:30,531 --> 00:22:31,934 Did you get any of that? 38384

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