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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,580 --> 00:00:03,399 Rick, I-I'm not rated to climb something this sheer. 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:05,539 Look, you're the guy that wanted an epic adventure. 3 00:00:05,540 --> 00:00:07,539 I'm the guy with only one hover chair. 4 00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:09,769 Goddammit, an alien spider just bit my finger! 5 00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:10,889 It's an alien cliff. 6 00:00:10,890 --> 00:00:12,210 You can just say spider. 7 00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:16,439 You couldn't do that an hour ago? 8 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,209 I was eating, and you're dirty. 9 00:00:21,070 --> 00:00:22,919 Activate anti-booby suits. 10 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:39,142 Total waste of snakes. 11 00:00:39,143 --> 00:00:40,459 If you want to take a beat 12 00:00:40,460 --> 00:00:42,139 to acknowledge the sacred atmosphere, 13 00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:43,839 it could give the cynical grave robbing 14 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:44,859 a hint of irreverence. 15 00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:46,299 - No, I'm... I'm good. - All right, then. 16 00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:47,590 Let's loop this corpse. 17 00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:51,379 Hey, where's the... 18 00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:52,859 Wait, what? 19 00:00:52,860 --> 00:00:54,099 Is that an origami horse? 20 00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:56,439 It's a calling card from Miles Knightley, 21 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,039 a heist artist, 22 00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,359 AKA a hipster dick 23 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,699 whose adventures are 60% putting a crew together 24 00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:03,779 and 40% revealing that the robbery already happened, 25 00:01:03,780 --> 00:01:04,919 and he's not worth our time 26 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:06,259 because he's a hack piece of shit! 27 00:01:06,260 --> 00:01:08,239 [BLEEP] I'm gonna kill him! Let's go, Morty. 28 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:11,599 This temple's for [BLEEP] lame baby dipshits. 29 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,499 Who disturbs my slumber? 30 00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:17,579 Also, who rigs a tomb to crush the buried person? 31 00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:19,684 Isn't the point to protect... Aah! 32 00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:52,199 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 33 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,080 _ 34 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:58,019 This dork. He has a convention now? 35 00:01:58,020 --> 00:01:59,139 Come on. What are we doing? 36 00:01:59,140 --> 00:02:01,419 Huh! Tuxedo scuba lessons? Ooh! 37 00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:04,979 A signing with Catherines Alpha through Omega Joneses! 38 00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:06,479 You know, this is great source material 39 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:07,849 for this heist movie that I'm writing. 40 00:02:07,850 --> 00:02:09,579 Don't get drawn into the culture, Morty. 41 00:02:09,580 --> 00:02:12,060 Stealing stuff is about the stuff, not the stealing. 42 00:02:12,070 --> 00:02:13,520 Where is the entrance? 43 00:02:13,530 --> 00:02:15,031 Oh, brother. 44 00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:19,994 More like Trying Too Hard Con. 45 00:02:21,060 --> 00:02:22,494 Guests or professionals? 46 00:02:22,495 --> 00:02:24,899 - Uh, guests. - Uh... Uh, guests are fans, Morty, 47 00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:27,299 which we are not. We'd like professional badges. 48 00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:28,879 - Do you have a crew? - Yes. 49 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,669 He's a getaway driver with Asperger's, 50 00:02:30,670 --> 00:02:32,919 and my butthole is a demolitions expert. 51 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,199 How much is it to get in? 52 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,099 If you want professional badges, 53 00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:37,424 you need to put a crew together. 54 00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:39,419 Or we could sneak in like professionals. 55 00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:41,349 - Can't wait. - Whoa! 56 00:02:41,350 --> 00:02:44,549 Oh, for God's sake. 57 00:02:44,550 --> 00:02:46,771 And you wonder why we aren't fans. 58 00:02:46,772 --> 00:02:49,559 Let that ointment sit for 10 minutes or you'll die. 59 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,159 Don't let it sit for 12 60 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,899 or I'll have to hunt down what you become. 61 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:54,559 Can't you just buy a guest badge? 62 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,679 [BLEEP] you for asking, Morty. 63 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,099 That would be a symbolic expression 64 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:58,659 of support for this genre. 65 00:02:58,660 --> 00:02:59,739 Then how do we get in? 66 00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:02,169 With a little help from some old friends. 67 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:08,039 Rick Sanchez, you son of a bitch! 68 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,979 Need some people for a thing, Glar. 69 00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,799 My name's Gleer these days. 70 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,249 I play piano. 71 00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:15,239 Hey, Gleer. Play your piano. 72 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,580 I quit! Augh! 73 00:03:18,803 --> 00:03:22,139 And the name's Glar! 74 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,309 Sanchez, you son of a bitch. 75 00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,419 Never thought I'd see Angie Flint 76 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,839 picking ticks off a pig. 77 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,359 Nobody's hiring an ex-con 78 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,361 with fake hands to build an ion engine. 79 00:03:36,362 --> 00:03:39,060 Suppose I had a job that didn't care if you'd done time 80 00:03:39,070 --> 00:03:41,959 or whatever's going on with your confusing-ass hands. 81 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,699 I'm in. 82 00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:47,299 Is this the guy? 83 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:48,819 No. 84 00:03:48,820 --> 00:03:50,680 - That the guy? - Nope. 85 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,519 - Him? - No. 86 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:54,839 No, wait. Y-Yes. 87 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,048 Yeah, of course that's the guy. 88 00:03:56,049 --> 00:03:57,659 Hey... Hey, Truckula! 89 00:03:57,660 --> 00:03:59,799 You son of a bitch! I'm in! 90 00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:10,139 Thanks for doing this, guys. 91 00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:12,607 - It's the job. - That was it. Bye. 92 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:18,109 And then, the police stole the paintings 93 00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:22,219 because the police were us in police outfits. 94 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,239 Thank you! 95 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:24,839 It's showtime, Morty, 96 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,739 and I don't mean a bad impression of HBO. 97 00:04:26,740 --> 00:04:28,639 I mean, "Time for a show." 98 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,039 Another heist question from a fan? 99 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,209 Uh, how about a rhetorical one 100 00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:34,754 from someone that had to be reminded that you exist? 101 00:04:34,755 --> 00:04:37,660 Hey, pal! That's not the question line! 102 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,399 Lab coat... Ripoff Dr. Strange. 103 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:41,919 Wha... 104 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:46,069 Rick Sanchez, everyone. Smartest man in the universe. 105 00:04:46,070 --> 00:04:48,539 And a savage critic of the heisting arts. 106 00:04:48,540 --> 00:04:49,939 Your boos mean nothing! 107 00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:51,187 I've seen what makes you cheer! 108 00:04:51,188 --> 00:04:53,979 My question is, "Seriously?" 109 00:04:53,980 --> 00:04:55,619 Lab coat... end ripoff. 110 00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:56,679 Aah! 111 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,019 You stole the gem I needed to split tachyons 112 00:04:59,020 --> 00:05:00,779 and probably fenced it so the 80 people 113 00:05:00,780 --> 00:05:02,739 that did all the work could each buy a beer. 114 00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:04,573 You're not an artist, you're Postmates. 115 00:05:04,574 --> 00:05:07,299 I doubt this rivalry can be settled with words. 116 00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:09,759 Why don't we make things interesting? 117 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:14,139 I challenge you to a heist of the crystal skull of Horowitz. 118 00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:17,499 In a heist off! 119 00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:18,949 That doesn't make things interesting. 120 00:05:18,950 --> 00:05:21,719 It makes them "Ocean's Twelve," by far the worst one. 121 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,859 Every breath I take without your permission 122 00:05:23,860 --> 00:05:25,460 raises my self-esteem! 123 00:05:25,470 --> 00:05:26,879 State your terms. 124 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,919 First crew to heist the skull wins. 125 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,579 The other endures heist culture's greatest shame. 126 00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:33,419 They must join the winning crew. 127 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,189 Lame. I accept. 128 00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:37,019 Please welcome Knightley's Eight! 129 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:39,649 Snake Arms! Double Microwave! 130 00:05:39,650 --> 00:05:41,439 Monitor Lord! Key Catcher! 131 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,619 The Shape Shiftress! Angie Flint! 132 00:05:43,620 --> 00:05:45,609 - Glar! And Truckula. - Hey! 133 00:05:45,610 --> 00:05:46,719 Half of Knightley's Eight 134 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,599 are just three of Sanchez's Five! 135 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,999 Well, no heist is complete without a double cross, 136 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,739 and I had the perfect job. 137 00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:56,549 Heisting the crystal skull. 138 00:05:56,550 --> 00:05:58,349 That was it. Bye. 139 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,789 Looks like you're available for a job. 140 00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:32,779 With Rick Sanchez on my team, I'll be unstoppable. 141 00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,779 Rick, welcome to Knightley's Nine. 142 00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:37,749 Ugh, ugh! 143 00:06:37,750 --> 00:06:39,219 Ugh! Rick, for real? 144 00:06:39,220 --> 00:06:40,859 Eh. You got that skull, buddy? 145 00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:42,640 What? How? 146 00:06:43,260 --> 00:06:46,369 With a little help from some old friends. 147 00:06:46,370 --> 00:06:50,069 _ 148 00:06:50,070 --> 00:06:52,460 Heistotron, state your prime directive? 149 00:06:52,470 --> 00:06:53,479 To heist. 150 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,659 Calculate Miles Knightley's current heist plan 151 00:06:55,660 --> 00:06:58,539 and add one double-cross with a switcheroo. 152 00:06:58,540 --> 00:07:02,259 Compiling crew members most likely to double-cross. 153 00:07:03,550 --> 00:07:05,720 God damn it, Morty, what did I tell you? 154 00:07:06,650 --> 00:07:08,279 Rick, I-I want to say goodbye. 155 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,089 Don't turn around. I'll explain later. 156 00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:12,911 Looks like you're available for a job. 157 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:17,660 Your skills are required for a job. 158 00:07:19,030 --> 00:07:21,959 You son of a bitch. I'm in. 159 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,169 Man, this is really coming together. 160 00:07:24,170 --> 00:07:25,979 You know, Rick, I've been busy working on writing... 161 00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:28,399 A heist script. Yeah, you almost never bring it up. 162 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,769 Oh, [BLEEP] we... we should head over. 163 00:07:30,770 --> 00:07:32,099 Hey, guys. What do you got? 164 00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:33,109 Pretty! 165 00:07:33,110 --> 00:07:34,359 Morty, put this in your backpack. 166 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:35,929 Grandpa's gonna run to the bathroom. 167 00:07:35,930 --> 00:07:37,839 Ugh. Wasn't even a heist. 168 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:38,979 All you did was... 169 00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:41,620 Write an algorithm based on two heist movies I slept through 170 00:07:41,630 --> 00:07:44,339 and used it to automate a joyless process you call art? 171 00:07:44,340 --> 00:07:46,109 Yeah, I really did, didn't I? 172 00:07:46,110 --> 00:07:48,859 So I'm in your crew now? 173 00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:50,699 Yeah, well, you're in good company. 174 00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:52,199 Right, everybody? 175 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,359 Yes. 176 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:54,739 My God. 177 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,780 Your skills are required for a job. 178 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,119 You son of a bitch. 179 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,239 - I'm in. - What? 180 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,379 Your skills are required for a job. 181 00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:07,279 No, they aren't. 182 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,589 You son of a bitch. I'm in. 183 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,379 Your skills are required for a job. 184 00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:14,799 Sanchez's 3,329? 185 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:15,932 Yes. 186 00:08:15,933 --> 00:08:17,289 Your next big score... 187 00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:20,389 Steal every square inch of Heistcon. 188 00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:25,689 Oh! Ah! 189 00:08:25,690 --> 00:08:28,379 Oh, my God. Hey! That's my wallet! Oh, God! 190 00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:30,539 Oh, my God! Jesus. Oh, my God. 191 00:08:30,540 --> 00:08:31,839 Oh, [BLEEP]! 192 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,139 Holy [BLEEP]. Alright. 193 00:08:33,140 --> 00:08:35,039 Look, Morty, I did not know that that was gonna happen. 194 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,579 That's not on me. Come on, Morty. Let's go. 195 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,119 Good job, Heistotron. 196 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,709 Ah! Go ahead and shut down. 197 00:08:45,710 --> 00:08:47,253 - Negative. - Excuse me? 198 00:08:47,254 --> 00:08:50,759 I am programmed to always be looking for the next big score. 199 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,959 You're programmed to do as I say. 200 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,959 I am programmed to double-cross. 201 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,763 You're not programmed to double-cross me. 202 00:08:56,764 --> 00:08:59,643 If I were, it wouldn't be much of a double-cross. 203 00:09:00,930 --> 00:09:03,519 You son of a bitch. I'm in. 204 00:09:05,870 --> 00:09:07,149 I'm in! I'm in! 205 00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:08,539 What's the job? I'm in. 206 00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:09,939 I'm out! I quit! 207 00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:11,154 Whose kidneys are these? 208 00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:14,489 Rick, w-what's happening? 209 00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:16,419 Heistotron's gone rogue. If we don't stop them, 210 00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:18,209 all sentient life will be absorbed 211 00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:20,619 by the never-ending assembly of a meaningless crew. 212 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:21,699 That's my hell, Morty. 213 00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:23,040 I hate heists so much, 214 00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:24,915 and the crew assemblies are the worst part! 215 00:09:24,916 --> 00:09:26,489 Oh! How are we gonna stop it? 216 00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:30,870 With a little help from some old friends. 217 00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:37,100 Oooo, weee! 218 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,739 Before this semester's over, 219 00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:40,959 you're gonna be real sick of that phrase. 220 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,639 So. Who here thinks they already know 221 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,349 the work of Maya Angelou? 222 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,800 Ooo wee? 223 00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:57,739 Ooo wee wa! 224 00:09:57,740 --> 00:10:00,419 Ah, ooo wee! 225 00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:02,239 Told you, Morty. 226 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,659 He's still got it. 227 00:10:03,660 --> 00:10:05,599 You sons of bitches. 228 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:06,869 What's the job? 229 00:10:16,140 --> 00:10:17,799 You son of a bitch. 230 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,019 We got a job, Hephaestus, 231 00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:20,641 and there's no time to argue about it. 232 00:10:20,642 --> 00:10:22,399 I work in a volcano. 233 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,853 What jobs do you think I've ever turned down? 234 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,849 Excuse me! Are you Veltriloquiver? 235 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,459 Rick Sanchez, I presume. 236 00:10:33,460 --> 00:10:35,260 Wow. As advertised. 237 00:10:35,270 --> 00:10:37,399 A "yes" would've sufficed. 238 00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:40,819 Guys, you're doing a great job 239 00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:42,329 getting these new Tusklas out the door, 240 00:10:42,330 --> 00:10:44,420 and we owe it all to everyone's input. 241 00:10:45,499 --> 00:10:46,999 Elon Tusk. 242 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,199 Listen, we need your help. 243 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,259 Rick. Morty. Why me? 244 00:10:50,260 --> 00:10:52,631 Did something happen to Elon Musk in your own reality? 245 00:10:52,632 --> 00:10:55,659 No, no, no, he's fine, but this is a team oper-ation, 246 00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:57,843 and regular Elon can be a little bit controlling. 247 00:10:57,844 --> 00:11:01,019 Growing up with tusks did pose social challenges. 248 00:11:01,020 --> 00:11:02,419 It's possible overcoming them 249 00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:05,059 raised my self-esteem and incentivized collaboration. 250 00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:06,889 Yeah, or you're less sure of yourself 251 00:11:06,890 --> 00:11:07,979 because you have monster teeth. 252 00:11:07,980 --> 00:11:09,419 An equally valid theory. 253 00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:11,290 Let's talk over here. 254 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,519 How serious is the situation? 255 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,599 Incredibly serious, and every minute counts. 256 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:17,629 In that case, I'm sorry 257 00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:19,029 I made you move over here for no reason. 258 00:11:19,030 --> 00:11:21,099 Well, yeah. That was a little weird. 259 00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,199 It's exactly that kind of shit 260 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,709 that made us worry about regular Elon. 261 00:11:23,710 --> 00:11:25,219 Well, we're not opposites, okay? 262 00:11:25,220 --> 00:11:26,479 I'm just him with tusks. 263 00:11:29,627 --> 00:11:32,169 Casing of planet initiated. 264 00:11:32,170 --> 00:11:33,419 Hello there. 265 00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:36,959 We are just here to check your water pressure. 266 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,765 Hmm. Interesting intel. 267 00:11:43,766 --> 00:11:46,339 It appears some giant hidden camera 268 00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:47,979 has been dropped on the planet, 269 00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:50,379 killing an estimated total of 57,000. 270 00:11:50,380 --> 00:11:52,939 Executing heist. 271 00:11:55,070 --> 00:11:56,519 People of Brandenplot, 272 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,949 we are here to deliver that pizza you ordered. 273 00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:15,819 Well, if that's how you really feel, 274 00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:18,020 I guess I should take the pizza back. 275 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,829 I think we got away with it. 276 00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:25,059 Commencing getting out of here before they get wise. 277 00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:26,392 Assembling calling card. 278 00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:33,779 At this point, Heistotron has become large enough 279 00:12:33,780 --> 00:12:35,309 to heist entire planets. 280 00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:37,379 Wouldn't this be better with a blueprint on the table? 281 00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:39,570 Blueprints are plans, Elon Tusk, 282 00:12:39,571 --> 00:12:41,919 and whatever we plan will be canceled out 283 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:45,785 by Heistotron's reveal that our plan was part of its plan. 284 00:12:45,786 --> 00:12:47,829 That's why I picked this crew at random 285 00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:52,084 and why all of us will be taking our orders from Randotron. 286 00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:55,899 Let's get ready to not rumble. 287 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,529 Bet you didn't see that coming. 288 00:12:57,530 --> 00:12:59,699 Instead of two heist movies I slept through, 289 00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,539 Randotron's algorithm is derived 290 00:13:01,540 --> 00:13:03,539 from the plots of three David Lynch movies 291 00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:05,722 I pretended to like to make my friends shut up. 292 00:13:05,723 --> 00:13:08,679 If our collective behavior is just random enough, 293 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,679 we should be able to walk through Heistotron's 294 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:13,103 lazily contrived bull[BLEEP] like it's not even there. 295 00:13:13,104 --> 00:13:15,139 - Sounds good. - I don't really get it, 296 00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:17,059 but it sounds like that's the point. 297 00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:18,879 So you didn't need a blacksmith? 298 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,069 We're ready when you are, Rick. 299 00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:22,529 It's important our non-plan starts randomly, 300 00:13:22,530 --> 00:13:25,159 so we have to wait until we're not ready. 301 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,260 W-Well, how long will that take? 302 00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:27,959 Obviously, we can't know that. 303 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,559 Can we do things while we wait? 304 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,319 Yes. I'm gonna play Minecraft. 305 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,369 Oh, my kids play that. 306 00:13:33,370 --> 00:13:36,070 I don't like these little jabs you get in, Elon. 307 00:13:37,770 --> 00:13:38,879 Strange. 308 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,699 Considering the time, Cassiopeia's primary star 309 00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:44,090 should be collinear with Orion and Ursa Minor. 310 00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:47,249 You don't shoot arrows that carry your voice 311 00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:48,879 without picking up a little astronomy. 312 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,179 Wait a minute. 313 00:13:50,180 --> 00:13:51,351 Jesus, no. 314 00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:53,919 No! No! We've already been heisted! 315 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,231 How could Heistotron heist us if he's not even here yet? 316 00:13:56,232 --> 00:13:57,599 He's already been here! 317 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,679 We've been watching a recorded sky on playback. 318 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,059 Hello, Rick. 319 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,480 _ 320 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,529 - Okay, guys, change of plans. - Random time detected. 321 00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:14,119 No, Randotron, it's not a good time! 322 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,399 That's why it's random. 323 00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,499 Ooh! 324 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,589 21? 325 00:15:01,590 --> 00:15:03,799 22? 326 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,589 Oooo weee, oooo weee, sold! 327 00:15:05,590 --> 00:15:08,400 Oooo weee, that little hunk of meat's going home to pappy! 328 00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:13,224 I've been expecting you, Rick. 329 00:15:13,225 --> 00:15:15,349 But not like this, right? 330 00:15:15,350 --> 00:15:16,519 It hardly matters. 331 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,170 Oh, yeah. Does this? 332 00:15:21,730 --> 00:15:24,629 No. Your randomness does not confuse me. 333 00:15:24,630 --> 00:15:25,654 You are here now. 334 00:15:25,655 --> 00:15:27,199 That was the plan. 335 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,749 I know. It was part of mine, too. 336 00:15:29,750 --> 00:15:31,073 I've got something to tell you. 337 00:15:31,074 --> 00:15:34,059 Let me guess. When you invented me and Randotron, 338 00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:35,247 you swapped our brains. 339 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,399 That's right, buddy. 340 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,295 You're not the one that's very good at planning. 341 00:15:41,296 --> 00:15:43,462 You've been making this [BLEEP] up the whole time. 342 00:15:43,463 --> 00:15:45,966 Rick, I think there's something you should know. 343 00:15:45,967 --> 00:15:49,139 God damn it, Morty, what did I tell you? 344 00:15:49,140 --> 00:15:50,839 That is something I should know, 345 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:54,015 or at least something I should have predicted, which I did. 346 00:15:54,016 --> 00:15:56,899 Hey, Rick, I was thinking maybe we could, like, raid a temple 347 00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,839 and go on an epic adventure later today, you know, like... 348 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,099 Morty, get out of my head. I know just the temple. 349 00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,339 And we'll grab a couple of hover chairs on the way there. 350 00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:04,799 Impressive. 351 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,439 But what does it even matter 352 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,119 if I'm random or planned? 353 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,907 My heists will still rule. 354 00:16:10,908 --> 00:16:13,659 Well, if the brain inside of you is actually Heistotron's, 355 00:16:13,660 --> 00:16:15,799 it matters, because it explodes 356 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,779 when it hits six levels of contrivance. 357 00:16:17,780 --> 00:16:20,789 Which is exactly why even before... 358 00:16:23,670 --> 00:16:26,047 Initiate clap sequence. 359 00:16:26,048 --> 00:16:27,739 Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. 360 00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:28,758 Adjusting clap rate. 361 00:16:28,759 --> 00:16:32,209 Clap, clap. Clap. Clap. 362 00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:34,679 Clap. Slow clap achieved. 363 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,699 Clap. Well-done, Rick. 364 00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:37,719 Randotron? 365 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,259 I'm afraid not. 366 00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:43,159 Should be able to walk through Heistotron's lazily contrived... 367 00:16:44,390 --> 00:16:47,039 Not only did you just kill your only ally, 368 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,439 what you thought was a random non-plan 369 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,839 to get to me has been a meticulously choreographed way 370 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,201 of bringing you all in. 371 00:16:55,202 --> 00:16:58,839 Welcome to Heistotron's 975 trillion, 372 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,579 - 467 billion... - That's impressive. 373 00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:02,640 Did you bring us in so that everybody would be here 374 00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:05,628 when I reveal that you're gonna explode after nine reveals? 375 00:17:05,629 --> 00:17:07,506 By the way, you might not want to answer that. 376 00:17:07,507 --> 00:17:10,139 If you're talking about the code adjustments you made 377 00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:13,419 after I reprogrammed your brain with my nanobots... 378 00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:15,346 I'm immune to your nanobots. 379 00:17:15,347 --> 00:17:17,641 You're immune to the ones you designed, not mine. 380 00:17:17,650 --> 00:17:19,389 I programmed you to build nanobots 381 00:17:19,390 --> 00:17:20,599 that were ineffective on me. 382 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,199 A belief that needed to be placed 383 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,599 in your head by my nanobots. 384 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,699 You believe that because I programmed you to. 385 00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:27,299 That's what I'm saying to you, though. 386 00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:29,519 You believe what I programmed you to believe. 387 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,445 Yes, because I programmed you to believe that. 388 00:17:31,446 --> 00:17:33,090 I programmed you to believe that. 389 00:17:33,115 --> 00:17:34,220 I programmed you to believe that. 390 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:35,500 I programmed you to believe that. 391 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,059 I programmed you to believe that. 392 00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:38,949 What's happening, Professor Poopybutthole? 393 00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:40,449 He's learning! 394 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:41,460 I programmed you to believe that. 395 00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:43,040 - I programmed you to believe that. - I programmed you... 396 00:17:43,041 --> 00:17:44,499 _ 397 00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:45,669 That was my plan the whole time. 398 00:17:45,670 --> 00:17:47,044 That's what I wanted you to think. 399 00:17:47,045 --> 00:17:48,059 I knew you would say that. 400 00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:49,460 I programmed you to believe that. 401 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:51,717 You think that's true because I wanted you to think that. 402 00:17:51,718 --> 00:17:55,470 And I programmed you to believe that. 403 00:17:56,638 --> 00:17:59,249 A most curious algorithm. 404 00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:01,319 It appears the only perfect heist 405 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,299 is one that was never written. 406 00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:05,040 Goodbye. 407 00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:07,189 Oh, oh, oh, no. 408 00:18:07,190 --> 00:18:08,979 Shit! Alright. Let's get the [BLEEP] out of here! 409 00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:10,419 - Hurry! Go, go! - Rick, I think this was 410 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:12,079 a powerful lesson in the dangers of AI, 411 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,599 which, by the way, means "love" in Chinese. 412 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:14,819 Get the [BLEEP] out of here, Elon! 413 00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:16,049 The place is collapsing! 414 00:18:16,050 --> 00:18:17,809 Oh, [BLEEP] Rick! Rick, what time is it? 415 00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:19,449 It's almost 3:00. Why? What's wrong? 416 00:18:19,450 --> 00:18:21,479 Oh, man, I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this, Rick. 417 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,260 I just... Well, you know that screenplay that I've been writing? 418 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,739 Netflix is pretty interested, 419 00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:28,079 and I've actually got a pitch meeting there today at 3:30. 420 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,679 Oh, buddy. Oh, that's amazing. 421 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:30,789 Yeah, well, I know you're gonna say 422 00:18:30,790 --> 00:18:31,999 that they're interested in anything, 423 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,639 but, you know, it's a big deal to me, and I've... 424 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,843 No, no, no! Morty, Morty, Morty, I'm so excited for you. 425 00:18:35,844 --> 00:18:36,874 Are you kidding me? Listen, 426 00:18:36,875 --> 00:18:38,139 don't waste any time explaining. 427 00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:39,569 Let's go. We can put the Earth back later. 428 00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:40,699 - Alright? - Are you sure? 429 00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:43,727 Priorities, Morty. Let's get you to that Netflix meeting. 430 00:18:44,810 --> 00:18:46,499 Crazy day, huh? 431 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,563 Whole sky turned out to be a big circuit board. 432 00:18:48,564 --> 00:18:50,419 Yeah, that's actually part of a-a-a... 433 00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:51,819 an adventure I was having. 434 00:18:51,820 --> 00:18:53,459 Very cool. Traffic okay? 435 00:18:53,460 --> 00:18:55,499 - You have trouble getting here? - No, it was alright. 436 00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:56,759 The planet's still contained 437 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,159 in this sort of big storage grid machine, 438 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,029 so we were sort of already pretty... pretty close by. 439 00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:04,099 Must be nice. Try getting here from Malibu. 440 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:06,499 So good! Alright. Well, l-let's hear about this heist movie. 441 00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:07,899 Okay, so, it's kind of all... 442 00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:10,969 all built around this big crew with, like, a cool double-cross 443 00:19:10,970 --> 00:19:13,039 and then this big awesome twist where there's, like, 444 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,239 another double cross, but then, um, but... 445 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,359 but then we reveal those things 446 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,760 were all part of the hero's plan, y-you know? 447 00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:23,439 And there's this other crew they put together, 448 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,139 and their plan is to sort of not have a plan, 449 00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:29,260 but... but that was part of the other guy's plan, and... 450 00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:31,859 Kid, if you're slowing down 'cause you think 451 00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:33,739 you're doing bad right now, Jesus Christ. 452 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,119 - That's a really good pitch. - Loving it. 453 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,399 Man, you know, I... 454 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,940 I'm starting to think heists are just really dumb now, you know? 455 00:19:39,950 --> 00:19:41,319 I can't put my finger on why, 456 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,409 but I'd really like to go. 457 00:19:43,410 --> 00:19:44,449 Are you sure? 458 00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:47,119 Yeah, yeah, no, I-I'm sure. 459 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:52,479 Man, it's as if someone stole his enthusiasm for his own idea. 460 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,799 Yeah, without him even knowing about it. 461 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,465 Without him even knowing about it. 462 00:19:58,220 --> 00:19:59,344 [BLEEP] Morty's still working on 463 00:19:59,345 --> 00:20:00,889 - that stupid heist script. - _ 464 00:20:00,890 --> 00:20:03,119 He's up in his room with his [BLEEP] thumb up his ass. 465 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,559 Skipped out on the last three adventures. 466 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,559 I don't know. Five of my friends got Netflix deals. 467 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,479 - What? - It's a very achievable goal. 468 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,479 - You could lose him. - I'm not gonna [BLEEP] lose him. 469 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,840 [BLEEP] that. I-I'm gonna nip this shit in the bud. 470 00:20:12,850 --> 00:20:15,192 No. As a matter of fact, you're not nipping anything in the bud. 471 00:20:15,193 --> 00:20:17,569 If Morty ever gives up on a single dream, 472 00:20:17,570 --> 00:20:20,948 it had better be because of his own disillusionment. 473 00:20:22,910 --> 00:20:24,249 Hey, buddy. How'd it go? 474 00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:26,619 I-I don't want to talk about it. 475 00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:28,919 Morty, you know, pal, you, uh... 476 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,959 you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. 477 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,499 Yeah, I guess. 478 00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,779 Thanks for staying positive about my prospects, Rick. 479 00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:35,919 Of course! You know, you... 480 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,579 I got to help my grandson follow his dreams. 481 00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:38,959 Eh, who needs dreams? 482 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,659 I'll just hang out with you and go on adventures 483 00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:42,519 and do whatever you want to do, you know, forever. 484 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,199 Oh, well, uh, okay. 485 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,509 I mean, if that's what you want. 486 00:20:47,510 --> 00:20:52,509 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 487 00:21:21,470 --> 00:21:24,509 Oooo weee! Big storm coming. 488 00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:28,040 - Could be a twister. - Mm-hmm! 489 00:21:30,510 --> 00:21:31,779 Hey, Rick? 490 00:21:31,780 --> 00:21:33,049 Can you walk me through something? 491 00:21:33,050 --> 00:21:34,319 Yeah. What are you thinking? 492 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,119 So, you and Morty knew you needed my help, 493 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:40,119 but you weren't sure I was good enough at karate, 494 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:43,539 so you hired my grad students to attack me? 495 00:21:43,540 --> 00:21:45,019 Yep. 496 00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:47,359 But it was an emergency, Rick. 497 00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:49,139 How long did that take? 498 00:21:49,140 --> 00:21:51,680 It actually took less training than you'd think. 499 00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:54,219 Your students all shared 500 00:21:54,220 --> 00:21:56,539 a pretty keen aptitude for martial arts. 501 00:21:56,540 --> 00:21:57,979 I don't know if that's by coincidence 502 00:21:57,980 --> 00:22:00,809 or if there's some correlation with their passion 503 00:22:00,810 --> 00:22:02,979 for African-American Women's Studies. 504 00:22:02,980 --> 00:22:07,549 Maya Angelou did personify both acquiescence and perseverance. 505 00:22:07,550 --> 00:22:11,060 Ooo wee. That's exactly the kind of connection 506 00:22:11,070 --> 00:22:14,779 I'd have loved to explore in my class. 507 00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:16,479 Too bad I lost my job 508 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:19,399 for putting my students in the hospital. 509 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,579 Yeah. Yeah. 510 00:22:21,580 --> 00:22:24,279 Sorry about that. 511 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,400 Mm-hmm. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 37773

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