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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:32,329 God rest ye merry gentlemen let nothing you dismay 2 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:36,787 Remember Christ our saviour was born on Christmas Day 3 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,423 (MATTHEW) Shh. You're too loud. 4 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:40,923 When we were gone astray 5 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:45,429 O tidings of comfort and joy Comfort and joy 6 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:49,807 O tidings of comfort and joy 7 00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:54,604 "Fear not then," said the angel "Let nothing you affright 8 00:00:54,762 --> 00:00:58,768 "This day is born a saviour of a pure virgin bright 9 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,981 "To free all those who trust in him from Satan's power and..." 10 00:01:01,143 --> 00:01:02,487 (THUD) 11 00:01:03,771 --> 00:01:06,570 Male, 9 years old. Possible ruptured eardrum. 12 00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:08,614 (YVONNE) His name's Paul. 13 00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:10,445 - You're his parents? - Yes. 14 00:01:10,611 --> 00:01:13,786 - I need to get some basic information. - He'll be all right. 15 00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:15,871 So, this is Paul. Last name, please. 16 00:01:16,033 --> 00:01:18,456 - Potts. P-O-double T-S. - Paul Pott. 17 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:22,875 - What, like the Cambodian dictator? - Not at all like the Cambodian dictator. 18 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,561 (DR THORPE) How long since it occurred? 19 00:01:25,626 --> 00:01:28,221 About an hour. He collapsed during choir practice. 20 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:31,930 It's a miracle he hasn't ruptured our eardrums with all his hooting. 21 00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:34,594 He's passionate. Will he be able to sing again? 22 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,183 Oh, yes, I don't see an issue there. 23 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:42,610 Fluid buildup in the ear, but we'll have him right as rain in no time. 24 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,987 So, he'll be fine? It's not dangerous? 25 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:49,237 Well, could be. But we can't tell until we fish around inside his noggin. 26 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,152 Café's just down the corridor. 27 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:54,993 (ROLAND SIGHS) 28 00:01:56,490 --> 00:01:58,618 He'll be right as rain, love. 29 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,621 Come on. 30 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,806 (PAUL) As long as I can remember, I've wanted to sing. 31 00:02:16,677 --> 00:02:18,896 I mean, really sing. 32 00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:25,862 I was born with what our choir master called "a big voice 33 00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:30,109 A voice that was "born to sing opera," said my mum. 34 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,948 And so I did. 35 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:36,533 At home, in school, in church, on the bus. 36 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,788 There he is! Get him! 37 00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:41,331 Get back here, Pottsy! 38 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,963 It turned out not everybody loved opera, 39 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:47,466 and not everybody loved the sound of my voice as much as my mum. 40 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,878 (MATTHEW) Get him! We're gonna get you, Pottsy! 41 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,673 Get back here, you big fat blob! 42 00:02:52,838 --> 00:02:55,513 And I got teased and bullied, 43 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:58,849 mostly by my classmate Matthew Spade and his gang, 44 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,562 if you can call a bunch of 9-year-olds a gang. 45 00:03:02,723 --> 00:03:04,725 (PANTING) 46 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:08,568 The more they bullied me, the more I sang. 47 00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:13,114 The more I sang, the more they bullied me. 48 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,574 - (MATTHEW) Come on, Pottsy! - Singing. Bullying. 49 00:03:15,736 --> 00:03:18,330 - Bullying and singing. - Oy! Fatty! 50 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,959 It was a seemingly endless drama full of music 51 00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,917 and violence and romance and comedy. 52 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,548 Kind of like an opera. 53 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,217 The opera of my life. 54 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,030 (GRUNTS) 55 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,817 (PAUL GROANING) 56 00:04:03,033 --> 00:04:07,004 Tidings of comfort and joy 57 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:11,673 Now to the Lord sing praises all you within this place 58 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:16,055 And with true love and brotherhood each other now embrace 59 00:04:16,213 --> 00:04:20,218 This holy tide of Christmas all others doth deface 60 00:04:20,384 --> 00:04:24,639 O tidings of comfort and joy Comfort and joy 61 00:04:24,805 --> 00:04:31,906 O tidings of comfort and joy 62 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,153 (SIGHS) 63 00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:35,658 That's very nice indeed. 64 00:04:39,069 --> 00:04:41,492 (OPERA MUSIC) 65 00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,247 (MUSIC STOPS) 66 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,298 (OPERA MUSIC) 67 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:24,968 "Be gentle with me," said she. “Unicorns are not meant for human love." 68 00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:30,437 "But, lady," said I, "I am only half human." And I laid her down, and took her 69 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:33,351 there amidst the moss and leaves of the forest floor. 70 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:36,067 - That was your weekend? - In a nutshell. Yours? 71 00:06:36,228 --> 00:06:39,072 - Did you just say you shagged a horse? - It's a game. 72 00:06:39,231 --> 00:06:41,951 Role playing. Like Dungeons & Dragons, but for real. 73 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,158 She was a girl, but dressed as a horse? 74 00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,699 - A unicorn. - Right. And you were...? 75 00:06:47,197 --> 00:06:50,451 A half-elf wizard from the Black Mages Guild of Quilanthium. 76 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,129 - OK. - And how's your girlfriend? 77 00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:57,134 Oh. She's brilliant. She really is. She's absolutely fantastic. 78 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:01,047 And are you actually planning on meeting her at any point? 79 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,348 - She keeps asking me, but... - But what? 80 00:07:03,505 --> 00:07:06,555 You've been texting over a year. What are you waiting for? 81 00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:09,562 - Nothing, it's just... - You're not 100 per cent sure 82 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,064 she's actually a woman. 83 00:07:11,221 --> 00:07:13,223 Of course I am. I'm sure she is. 84 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:17,440 I'm absolutely sure that she definitely must be. Let me show you this text. 85 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:21,483 She sent me this the other night. This is like, 11.00. She says... 86 00:07:21,690 --> 00:07:23,158 Oh, God. 87 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:24,819 What's crawled up his arse? 88 00:07:28,113 --> 00:07:30,286 The signal on this phone is total crap. 89 00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:31,869 Right. 90 00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:34,834 The thing is, for the service to actually work, 91 00:07:34,995 --> 00:07:39,125 the phone itself should really be in no more than three or four pieces. 92 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,134 - It's under warranty. - Of course. 93 00:07:41,293 --> 00:07:44,047 I'll tell you what. How's about this, Gandalf? 94 00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:48,014 You give me a phone that works, and I won't lodge this one up your arse. 95 00:07:48,175 --> 00:07:51,019 I doubt you'd get much of a signal up there. 96 00:07:55,432 --> 00:07:59,278 - Oh. Nearly forgot. Here. - Cheers. 97 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:02,940 I took the liberty while you were bravely cowering in the back... 98 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,701 Took the liberty to do what? 99 00:08:04,858 --> 00:08:07,156 Sunday morning, Port Talbot railway station. 100 00:08:07,319 --> 00:08:09,942 Your boyfriend's on the 9.15 from Cardiff. 101 00:08:09,968 --> 00:08:11,065 You did what? 102 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:14,668 It's not easy losing your virginity to someone 50 miles away. 103 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:18,377 - So, you invited her here? - You did, as far as she knows. 104 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:21,793 - Jesus. She looks like Cameron Diaz! - Oh, how terrible. 105 00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:24,053 - Yeah, it is. - In what univ...? 106 00:08:24,461 --> 00:08:27,887 Hold on. You told her you looked like someone famous as well. 107 00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:31,720 - A bit. Yeah. - Who? 108 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,595 (CHATTERING) 109 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,942 Brad? 110 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,902 Cameron? 111 00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:30,119 You're a woman. 112 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,620 What? 113 00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:34,374 (LAUGHS) That is fantastic. 114 00:09:34,698 --> 00:09:39,250 Thank you. Well, you've obviously got a very low bar. That's a good thing. 115 00:09:41,121 --> 00:09:42,543 Welcome to Port Talbot. 116 00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,759 Thank you. 117 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,840 Sorry I'm late. I... 118 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,677 - I thought you stood me up. - No, I wouldn't dare. 119 00:09:49,838 --> 00:09:54,890 No, I was... I wanted to get you something, but the florist was shut, 120 00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:58,352 - so I got you this. It's a good one. - Aw. 121 00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:01,940 You don't need batteries. You wind it up. 122 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,104 - Oh, wow. Thank you. - It's orange. 123 00:10:04,269 --> 00:10:05,613 - Do you like it? - Yeah. 124 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,615 It's a torch. 125 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,616 It's ace. 126 00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:14,155 - You hungry? - (GIGGLES) 127 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,493 - Always. - Great. 128 00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,542 - Shall we? - Yeah. 129 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:27,548 Right. So, there's bad pub food or really bad pub food. 130 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,052 - Oh. - Which do you prefer? 131 00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:30,804 So many options, so little time. 132 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:33,057 - (PHONE RINGING) - Oh. 133 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,969 It's just my mum making sure that I'm still alive 134 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,308 and you haven't murdered me. 135 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,224 As if I'd murder you in broad daylight. (LAUGHING) 136 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:44,691 I'd wait till it was dark. I wouldn't do it on the high street. 137 00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:48,528 I'm not actually gonna murder you. I'm babbling. I'm nervous. 138 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,490 (JULZ) Don't be. 139 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,908 - Really nice gloves. - Paul? 140 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,994 - Thank you. - Is that you, love? 141 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,658 Oh, God. 142 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:03,337 - Well, bless my soul! - Hi. 143 00:11:03,495 --> 00:11:05,214 (YVONNE) Well, hello. 144 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,341 - I'm Paul's mum. - It's my mum. 145 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:11,346 - Lovely to meet you. - This is Julz. It's... 146 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,846 Why didn't you tell...? 147 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,474 You must come to lunch. 148 00:11:14,631 --> 00:11:17,475 - My husband would love to meet you. - Absolutely not. 149 00:11:17,634 --> 00:11:19,261 You need to be getting back. 150 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,972 I'd love to come. Let me help you with this. 151 00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:27,488 Thank you, love. Aren't you lovely? Now you must tell me all about yourself. 152 00:11:27,644 --> 00:11:30,693 - That's a lovely torch. - Oh, thank you very much. 153 00:11:32,357 --> 00:11:35,658 Then I thought to myself, "I haven't got the slightest interest 154 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:39,825 "in die-cast aluminium figurines." So, I got a job at the pharmacy in Boots. 155 00:11:40,115 --> 00:11:42,084 Honest job, Boots. 156 00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,711 As is Carphone Warehouse. 157 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,130 Have some more potatoes, love. 158 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:50,793 Oh. Thank you. Gosh, that's loads. Thank you. 159 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,336 (ROLAND) And your parents, what do they do? 160 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:53,846 Dad. 161 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,508 - It's all right. My mother works... - (PAUL) Her mum's a seamstress. 162 00:11:56,673 --> 00:11:59,268 Her dad's on disability from the plant in Bristol. 163 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:02,145 Oh. Did Paul tell you, I met his mother in Bristol? 164 00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:03,648 No. 165 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:07,811 I spent ten years in the metalworks over there in Redfield, near that pub. 166 00:12:07,976 --> 00:12:10,821 Yeah, the Black Horse. That's where Paul was conceived. 167 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:14,450 - Back seat of Roland's car. - That's what we're gonna talk about? 168 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:17,408 - Why not? It was wonderful. - (ROLAND CHUCKLES) 169 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,288 Paul tells me you were quite the rugby player in your time. 170 00:12:20,447 --> 00:12:21,791 Mm. 171 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,043 I did once fracture 172 00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:26,546 - Gareth Edwards' clavicle. - Here we go. 173 00:12:26,703 --> 00:12:29,707 Yeah, he was running down the wing, about to cut inside... 174 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,672 (LAUGHING) 175 00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:34,883 I made the front page of the South Wales Argus, I did. 176 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,764 That was a proud day. 177 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,802 You're not the only celebrity in the family, then. 178 00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:42,562 Paul could get a job at the steelworks. 179 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,062 Get a flat of his own. 180 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,900 Hard to come by, union benefits these days. 181 00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:51,153 - I'd sooner sleep under a bridge. - That can be arranged. 182 00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:53,990 No, Paul's gonna be a wonderful singer. 183 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,740 Oh, God. 184 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:57,947 (GRUNTS) 185 00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:00,283 I thought you two only met this morning? 186 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:04,495 Nonsense. How could I be his girlfriend if we've only just met? 187 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:09,248 It turns out that all the time we thought he was on his computer looking at porn, 188 00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:11,962 he was actually e-mailing this lovely thing. 189 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,467 (YVONNE CHUCKLING) 190 00:13:13,625 --> 00:13:15,378 Look at him blushing now. 191 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:17,138 Couldn't you just eat him up? 192 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,095 You'd need a couple of sittings. 193 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:24,303 (PUCCINI'S CHE GELIDA MANINA) 194 00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,697 Wow. 195 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:43,034 I knew you were mad for opera, but I didn't know you were completely psycho for it. 196 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:45,073 (CHUCKLING) 197 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:46,618 What's this? 198 00:13:46,783 --> 00:13:49,957 This is "Che Gelida Manina" from La Bohéme by Puccini. 199 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,873 Pavarotti sung this aria in 1961 200 00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,543 in a singing competition that changed his life. 201 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,634 What, like made him a superstar? 202 00:13:56,793 --> 00:13:58,888 (THUDS) 203 00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:04,010 Leave them be, Roland! Do you wanna scare her off? 204 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,976 On the contrary. I'm trying to rescue her from the bloody violins. 205 00:14:09,097 --> 00:14:10,519 Do you wanna go for a walk? 206 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,519 Yeah. Yeah, all right. 207 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:18,775 - And opera, just...? - I always loved it, since I was a kid. 208 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:23,741 From the first time I heard Pavarotti sing "Nessun Dorma," that was... 209 00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:28,876 - You must have been a very strange boy. - (CHUCKLING) I was. I still am. 210 00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,754 No, I always loved it. 211 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,505 It's like a dream world to me, 212 00:14:33,663 --> 00:14:37,043 where people speak their feelings and say exactly what they mean. 213 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,552 In French or Italian. 214 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:43,307 That's the beauty of it. Like, if you just shut your eyes and listen to it, 215 00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:49,599 suddenly you're somewhere else. Like, somewhere beautiful, 216 00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:52,357 or exciting and dramatic and real. 217 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:56,897 Like more real than real life could ever be. 218 00:14:58,313 --> 00:15:02,865 I think I am only truly happy when I am listening to or singing opera. 219 00:15:04,986 --> 00:15:06,659 - Will you sing for me? - Oh... 220 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:09,918 - Go on, just a little bit. Go on. Why not? - It's not... 221 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,918 I get nervous. 222 00:15:12,577 --> 00:15:14,296 OK. 223 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:16,716 Someday, then? 224 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,044 Someday. 225 00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:26,558 - One foot and then the other. - Yeah. 226 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,725 Have you ever seen him live, Pavarotti? 227 00:15:29,886 --> 00:15:32,153 No, but he's on the board of the opera 228 00:15:32,178 --> 00:15:34,793 school I'm saving up for to go to in Venice. 229 00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:36,606 So, it's all about meeting him? 230 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:40,693 There's no chance he'll be there. But the school's got a great track record 231 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:44,702 of placing singers in other companies and, I don't know... 232 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:49,832 An opera career is too much to hope for, but it's all I ever hope for. 233 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:52,914 Until today. 234 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,206 How much money do you need? 235 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,923 I'm still short about 500 quid. 236 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,046 When is it? 237 00:16:03,211 --> 00:16:05,089 In three weeks. 238 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,634 I'm thinking of selling my body. 239 00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:10,097 How will you get the other 498 pounds? 240 00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:12,433 (LAUGHING) Aw. Thanks a lot. 241 00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:16,351 Yeah, 2 pounds... Is that it? That's all I'm worth, 2 pounds? 242 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,571 (JULZ) He was just mean, really. 243 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:28,658 Shagged my best friend and then told me it was because I was getting too... 244 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,164 - It doesn't matter. - Sounds like a tosser. 245 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,746 Yeah. Enormous tosser. 246 00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:37,163 - Capital of Uruguay? - Montevideo. 247 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,582 Hey, not just a pretty face. 248 00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,630 I'm way over it. 249 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:47,181 I don't need that much love. I don't expect it, coming from where I do, 250 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,717 but nothing ventured, nothing gained. 251 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:54,059 You gotta take chances sometimes, don't you? It'd be brilliant to take a chance 252 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:57,522 on something worthwhile for a change. The Cuban missile crisis. 253 00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:01,144 If you could be anyone in the world, who would you be? 254 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:05,067 Um... Well, seeing as I'm a dead ringer for Cameron Diaz... 255 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,076 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 256 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,702 She's got her own career, 257 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:13,491 famous boyfriends, and an arse I'd sell my mum for. 258 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,826 - You? - Martina Navratilova. 259 00:17:16,326 --> 00:17:19,000 - Serious? - Eighteen grand slams. 260 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:21,790 (JULZ) Oh, right. (CHUCKLES) 261 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,845 I wouldn't be anybody else. I just wanna be myself. 262 00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:28,596 - No, you've gotta be someone. - I don't want to. 263 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,099 That confident, are we? 264 00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:32,885 No, on the contrary. 265 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:37,644 If I was someone else, I wouldn't be here with you. 266 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,365 Hello, Paul. What are you doing here? 267 00:17:51,194 --> 00:17:53,913 - Is this...? This is! You are. - I am...? 268 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,121 - She is. - You're a girl. 269 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,833 - Why do people keep saying that? - This is Julz. 270 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,917 - And you are...? - Hydrangea. 271 00:18:01,079 --> 00:18:02,673 - Hi. - Is that a unicorn? 272 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,925 - Uh... - (PAUL) Oh, you must be the... 273 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,962 (COUGHS) Have you signed up for the contest? 274 00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,846 - What contest? - What contest? 275 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:13,556 - No point. I've got it all sewn up. - Biggest twat in the world? 276 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:17,521 - Most perfunctory love-maker? - Actually, the annual talent contest. 277 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,522 (HYDRANGEA) Spottiest back? (BRADDON) Laugh at me now. 278 00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,809 You won't be when I do my comedy routine. 279 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,148 - Three hundred pounds for the winner. - Is it? 280 00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:27,191 Come on, Seinfeld. You can wash my motor scooter. 281 00:18:27,355 --> 00:18:29,278 - Is that code? - (HYDRANGEA) Don't be a prick. 282 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,201 All right. 283 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:33,703 - See you tomorrow, Pottsy. - See you. 284 00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:36,365 - That's Braddon. He's my boss. - No way. 285 00:18:36,531 --> 00:18:38,704 The less you think about him, the better. 286 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:41,290 - What time's your train? - Ten to. 287 00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:44,048 - What time is it now? - Oh. 288 00:18:44,205 --> 00:18:45,958 - Quarter to. - Right. Come on. 289 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,173 Oh, God. We've gotta go. We've gotta get a move on here. 290 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,552 (SIGHS) 291 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:58,471 Come on. 292 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,640 (HORN BLOWING) 293 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:12,659 - I've had a lovely day. - I've had the best time. 294 00:19:14,694 --> 00:19:16,788 So, I'll see you when you get back? 295 00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:20,122 - From where? - From Venice, of course. 296 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:21,911 Well, that could be years. 297 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:25,708 Nonsense. You're gonna win that talent competition. 298 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,671 Listen, if the next time we speak, 299 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:31,178 you're not ringing me from a gondola in Venice, then... 300 00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:34,132 Well, you'll never have another one of these. 301 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,986 - See you, Brad. - Bye, Cameron. 302 00:20:10,166 --> 00:20:11,919 (GIGGLES) 303 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:48,505 (BRADDON) This is gold dust, this stuff. This bit's classic, OK? 304 00:20:48,663 --> 00:20:51,416 Belly-button fluff. Why is it always blue? 305 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:52,926 (AUDIENCE GROANS) 306 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,554 - It's always blue! - (HECKLER 1) Fire at will, boys! 307 00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:58,967 Even if I've been wearing a red top or... All right. 308 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:03,433 No matter what, it's always blue. Hilarious, isn't it? 309 00:21:04,971 --> 00:21:07,976 Thanks very much. I'm Braddon Evans. Peace out. 310 00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,736 (AUDIENCE BOOING AND CHATTERING) 311 00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:16,321 (EMCEE) I bet Billy Connolly is shaking in his boots right now. 312 00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:19,488 - Port Talbot's answer to Norman Wisdom. - Went well. 313 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:23,031 - What are you wearing? - I'm Pavarotti as Canio in Pagliacci. 314 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,243 I don't understand what that means. You just made noises. 315 00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:29,459 It's a character that... It doesn't matter. 316 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,715 Next, singing... Blimey. 317 00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:35,336 "Vesti la giubba." 318 00:21:36,252 --> 00:21:39,597 - We have the vocal stylings of Paul Potts. - That's you. 319 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:42,806 Next thing you'll tell me, we've got Robert Mugabe doing the juggling. 320 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:44,310 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 321 00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,722 That is so obvious. I could've come up with that. 322 00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:48,982 I chose not to. That's the difference. 323 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,893 - Off you go. - I'm gonna be sick. 324 00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:54,654 - Is he coming or what? - He can't get through the door! 325 00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:57,237 - Go on, Tubsy! - Seriously, bud. 326 00:21:57,398 --> 00:22:00,778 - You've gotta get on! Get on now! - I can't do it. Oh, my God. 327 00:22:00,944 --> 00:22:02,946 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND CHATTERING) 328 00:22:05,865 --> 00:22:07,242 What are you wearing? 329 00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:10,208 (MATTHEW) Somebody call the zoo. There's a panda on the loose! 330 00:22:10,371 --> 00:22:13,465 (HECKLER 2) Great buns just like Michelin Man! 331 00:22:13,624 --> 00:22:15,968 (MATTHEW) Somebody chuck him a biscuit! 332 00:22:16,167 --> 00:22:19,843 (HECKLER 3) Get off the stage, man, your pies are ready! 333 00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:22,848 (MATTHEW) What are you gonna sing, "Tears of a Clown"? 334 00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:27,305 Maybe he's gonna eat the microphone. 335 00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:35,651 (VILLAGE PEOPLE'S YMCA) 336 00:22:35,813 --> 00:22:37,359 That's not my song. 337 00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:41,117 That's not me. That's not my music. 338 00:22:45,405 --> 00:22:48,000 Hey, quiet, man! Let the pregnant lady sing! 339 00:22:48,157 --> 00:22:50,080 (LAUGHING) 340 00:22:51,452 --> 00:22:54,707 Oh, my God, he's swallowed Pavarotti! (LAUGHS) 341 00:22:54,914 --> 00:22:57,463 (LEONCAVALLO'S VESTI LA GIUBBA) 342 00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:14,978 (SINGING IN ITALIAN) 343 00:24:08,571 --> 00:24:11,951 Come on! That's my boy! Pottsy! 344 00:24:12,116 --> 00:24:14,869 - (CHEERING) - (WHISTLING) 345 00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:20,459 (PAUL) Thank you. Cheers. 346 00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:22,173 - (WOMAN) Well done! - Thanks so much. 347 00:24:22,336 --> 00:24:24,884 Thank you. Cheers. Oh, thanks. 348 00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:26,390 Thanks very much. Cheers. 349 00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:28,925 - Well done, I suppose. - Thanks, mate. 350 00:24:29,093 --> 00:24:30,891 You're ahead of your time. 351 00:24:31,053 --> 00:24:33,852 They'll only learn to appreciate me when I'm dead. 352 00:24:34,013 --> 00:24:36,732 - It'll be easier for me then. - Can't you be kind? 353 00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:39,895 I'm depressed and hopeless. Self-esteem's at its lowest. 354 00:24:40,061 --> 00:24:42,484 You're describing symptoms of being your girlfriend. 355 00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:43,576 (BRADDON) Girlfriend? 356 00:24:43,602 --> 00:24:45,721 Look who it is, the big star of the night. 357 00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:48,369 Hello, Pottsy. Who you supposed to be, then? 358 00:24:48,528 --> 00:24:50,998 - Casper the obese ghost? - Get off me! 359 00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:55,085 (GROANING) 360 00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:57,450 Looks like I'm the winner of this contest. 361 00:24:57,476 --> 00:24:58,397 Give it back! 362 00:24:58,538 --> 00:25:01,212 I didn't catch that. You'll have to sing louder. 363 00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:03,251 I said give it back! 364 00:25:03,419 --> 00:25:05,762 (GRUNTING) 365 00:25:06,087 --> 00:25:08,182 My turn, is it? You're gonna pay for that. 366 00:25:08,339 --> 00:25:11,093 (BRADDON) May the Flame of Arveron sustain me! 367 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:14,768 (GRUNTING) 368 00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:21,819 Remember this? 369 00:25:21,979 --> 00:25:23,902 No. 370 00:25:26,733 --> 00:25:28,076 (GROANING) 371 00:25:28,234 --> 00:25:31,579 - Where the hell did you get that from? - From me, mate. 372 00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:34,742 That was brilliant. Would have made Pete Townshend proud. 373 00:25:35,075 --> 00:25:38,203 Now you want to keep smashing it, then set it on fire. 374 00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:46,086 - You all right? - Yeah. Let's just get out of here. 375 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,684 - Truce? - I'll have you for this. 376 00:25:57,597 --> 00:26:00,271 Can I have another go? That was exhilarating. 377 00:26:00,433 --> 00:26:01,980 (PAUL) No. 378 00:26:02,144 --> 00:26:03,862 Leave him. 379 00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:06,981 (HYDRANGEA) Cheers, then. 380 00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:12,034 - That was incredible. You saved us. - That's got me all hot and bothered. 381 00:26:12,195 --> 00:26:15,790 My car's around the corner. We can be at my place in four minutes. 382 00:26:16,325 --> 00:26:19,044 You were stupendous tonight, Pottsy! You're my hero! 383 00:26:19,202 --> 00:26:20,546 (HYDRANGEA) Mine too! 384 00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:22,711 See you. 385 00:26:31,173 --> 00:26:33,174 (SNEEZING) 386 00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:36,386 - (LAUGHING) - (PHONE RINGS) 387 00:26:37,887 --> 00:26:40,391 - Hello? - (PAUL) Hey, Cameron. 388 00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:44,186 - Who is this? - It's me, Paul. 389 00:26:46,270 --> 00:26:51,903 - I knew a Paul once, but... - Aw. Come on, you can't be mad at me. 390 00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:54,990 Three weeks goes way past playing hard to get. 391 00:26:55,154 --> 00:26:58,625 It's been 19 days, and you said not to call until I was settled. 392 00:26:58,784 --> 00:27:00,457 - (JULZ) Where? - In Venice. 393 00:27:00,618 --> 00:27:03,713 - You're really there? - I can hardly believe it myself. 394 00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:05,589 But I'm actually here. 395 00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:09,548 You're serious? You're not having me on? 396 00:27:09,711 --> 00:27:14,261 No, it's true. I'm calling you now from the middle of the Grand Canal. 397 00:27:18,428 --> 00:27:21,271 (JULZ) Well, tell me everything. 398 00:27:22,098 --> 00:27:25,193 Where are you staying? Have you got a nice place? 399 00:27:25,352 --> 00:27:28,401 (PAUL) Well, it's not big, but it's got a real Venetian balcony 400 00:27:28,564 --> 00:27:31,442 on a quiet little Venetian street. 401 00:27:34,361 --> 00:27:37,365 The school is brilliant. It's an old 16th century palazzo 402 00:27:37,530 --> 00:27:39,828 right in the heart of the city. 403 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:47,958 (SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 404 00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:50,719 - (INSTRUMENTS TUNING) - (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 405 00:28:02,972 --> 00:28:07,228 Every morning starts off with four hours of intensive Italian. 406 00:28:08,144 --> 00:28:09,692 (TEACHER SPEAKS IN ITALIAN) 407 00:28:09,855 --> 00:28:12,482 (IN ITALIAN) 408 00:28:13,567 --> 00:28:15,365 (GERHARDT LAUGHS AND SPEAKS IN ITALIAN) 409 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,575 (PAUL IN ENGLISH) Which I find comes quite easily. 410 00:28:17,778 --> 00:28:19,122 (TEACHER SPEAKS IN ITALIAN) 411 00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,454 In the afternoons, we study opera with Signora Fiorentino, 412 00:28:22,617 --> 00:28:25,416 who has almost nothing but praise for my technique. 413 00:28:25,578 --> 00:28:27,580 (HUMMING) 414 00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:30,421 (MAN SPEAKING IN FRENCH) 415 00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:36,714 Once in a while, we practise stage combat. 416 00:28:36,882 --> 00:28:41,887 Ow! It's meant to be acting class, not stabbing class. That really hurt. Jesus. 417 00:28:42,095 --> 00:28:45,348 And the food? It must be incredible. 418 00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:49,606 (PAUL) Oh. It's bellissimo. So fresh and authentic. 419 00:28:49,769 --> 00:28:52,067 There's nothing else quite like it. 420 00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:54,950 (JULZ) Not to mention the art and the architecture. 421 00:28:55,107 --> 00:28:57,861 (PAUL) Which is amazing. I visited a museum yesterday 422 00:28:58,028 --> 00:29:00,872 that had over 50 paintings by Tintoretto. 423 00:29:01,030 --> 00:29:04,285 (JULZ) I think Mum's got one of them in the downstairs loo. 424 00:29:06,452 --> 00:29:10,833 And the people? Have you made loads of friends? 425 00:29:10,999 --> 00:29:14,594 (PAUL) Oh, yeah, loads. There's parties every night. It's non-stop. 426 00:29:14,752 --> 00:29:17,381 - (CHATTERING IN ITALIAN) - (LAUGHING) 427 00:29:21,218 --> 00:29:24,017 (JULZ) So, do you miss me? 428 00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:25,521 Terribly. 429 00:29:26,306 --> 00:29:28,023 Good. 430 00:29:28,808 --> 00:29:30,277 (SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 431 00:29:31,353 --> 00:29:33,447 (SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 432 00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:48,750 (FIORENTINO SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 433 00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:51,123 Here is some very exciting news. 434 00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:55,965 In two weeks, Il Maestro, Pavarotti, will visit the school 435 00:29:56,502 --> 00:29:58,721 to teach a master class. 436 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,929 Unfortunately, he has not the time to hear everyone sing. 437 00:30:02,134 --> 00:30:06,183 So, we will choose for him the best students from our recital of duets. 438 00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:09,980 The most outstanding will sing solo for the Maestro. 439 00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:12,565 (FIORENTINO SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 440 00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:32,130 (SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 441 00:30:32,288 --> 00:30:34,758 (FIORENTINO SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 442 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,507 (ALESSANDRA) I want to win. 443 00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:45,176 - Right. Yeah, that would be lovely. - No, you don't understand. 444 00:30:45,344 --> 00:30:46,971 I want to win. 445 00:30:47,136 --> 00:30:50,310 I'm not so sure it's important for you to sing for Pavarotti. 446 00:30:50,473 --> 00:30:54,148 No, it is. It's important. It's the most important thing in the world. 447 00:30:54,310 --> 00:30:58,191 To sing well for Pavarotti can make your whole career. Do you understand? 448 00:30:58,356 --> 00:30:59,733 Right. Yeah. 449 00:31:00,317 --> 00:31:04,571 So, if you screw it up, I'll get my brothers to hurt you. Badly. 450 00:31:04,779 --> 00:31:07,499 (PUCCINI'S O SOAVE FANCIULLA) 451 00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:10,876 (PAUL SINGING IN ITALIAN) 452 00:31:27,885 --> 00:31:32,732 No, no, no, Paulo, no. Look at Alessandra, not at your shoes. 453 00:31:32,891 --> 00:31:36,566 You are Rodolfo. She is Mimi. 454 00:31:36,769 --> 00:31:39,818 This is... How you say? The spark. 455 00:31:40,147 --> 00:31:42,741 The moment of love creation. 456 00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:45,575 (FIORENTINO SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 457 00:31:46,195 --> 00:31:49,039 O lovely girl. O sweet face. 458 00:31:49,365 --> 00:31:51,788 (FIORENTINO SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 459 00:31:55,163 --> 00:31:57,882 I see you in a dream, I will dream forever. 460 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:00,920 - You have been in love, yes? - Yeah. 461 00:32:01,086 --> 00:32:03,884 And how did you show your girl this? 462 00:32:05,173 --> 00:32:10,599 I bought her a torch. The florist was shut. It was a rechargeable one. 463 00:32:10,761 --> 00:32:13,105 Alessandra is a beautiful girl, no? 464 00:32:13,682 --> 00:32:17,356 - Yep. - (FIORENTINO) Look. With your eyes. 465 00:32:19,061 --> 00:32:21,405 Mm. Yeah, no, she's very pretty. 466 00:32:21,565 --> 00:32:23,317 (IN ITALIAN) 467 00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:31,871 - Is OK. - (SPEAKS IN ITALIAN) 468 00:32:32,075 --> 00:32:35,750 (IN ENGLISH) You have two weeks before the recital. Two weeks to make us believe 469 00:32:35,912 --> 00:32:38,830 that you are more in love than any two people have ever been in love. 470 00:32:39,790 --> 00:32:43,164 Dream only of each other. Think of nothing and nobody else. 471 00:32:43,211 --> 00:32:44,554 Again. 472 00:32:46,798 --> 00:32:51,223 Paulo. Will you travel for the fine settimana? 473 00:32:52,136 --> 00:32:55,516 Uh, the weekend? No, I was gonna stay here and practise. 474 00:32:55,682 --> 00:32:58,810 (SPEAKS IN ITALIAN) Don't you want to practise together with me? 475 00:32:59,394 --> 00:33:02,317 Together? No, well, yeah, that'd be great. 476 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:06,405 We can get to know each other. I can take you home to meet my family. 477 00:33:06,567 --> 00:33:10,071 - Does that include your brothers? - Don't worry, they'll love you. 478 00:33:10,238 --> 00:33:13,708 - You said they were gonna kill me. - No one is going to kill you. 479 00:33:13,866 --> 00:33:15,789 - I was joking. - No, you weren't. 480 00:33:30,967 --> 00:33:32,809 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 481 00:33:48,359 --> 00:33:50,953 (FATHER SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 482 00:33:54,824 --> 00:33:57,667 - I am her dad. - (LAUGHING) 483 00:34:05,835 --> 00:34:08,463 (IN ITALIAN) 484 00:34:14,802 --> 00:34:16,521 - (SPEAKS IN ITALIAN) - Mama... 485 00:34:16,679 --> 00:34:18,023 Shut up. 486 00:34:27,731 --> 00:34:29,655 (IN ITALIAN) 487 00:34:31,443 --> 00:34:34,242 - Hm? - (GRANDMOTHER SPEAKS IN ITALIAN) 488 00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:36,032 (IN ITALIAN) 489 00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:37,871 (SPEAKS IN ITALIAN) 490 00:34:51,422 --> 00:34:54,643 She only means to say you should be true to yourself. 491 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:59,101 It's what she always taught me, and what I've taught my children. 492 00:34:59,264 --> 00:35:02,518 Alessandra, for example, she is a great singer. 493 00:35:02,684 --> 00:35:05,813 We believe in her so she can believe in herself. 494 00:35:05,978 --> 00:35:07,902 That's what families do. 495 00:35:19,784 --> 00:35:21,126 (LAUGHING) 496 00:35:21,286 --> 00:35:23,333 (SPEAKS IN ITALIAN) To Paul! 497 00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:25,418 (ALL SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 498 00:35:32,255 --> 00:35:34,882 (SINGING IN ITALIAN) 499 00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:03,085 (BOTH SINGING IN ITALIAN) 500 00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:03,304 (CHEERING) 501 00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:18,945 - (PAUL LAUGHING) - (ALESSANDRA WHOOPING) 502 00:37:27,661 --> 00:37:29,710 (IN ENGLISH) You were amazing tonight. 503 00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:36,346 I can't... 504 00:37:37,130 --> 00:37:38,472 (IN ENGLISH) What's wrong? 505 00:37:39,632 --> 00:37:41,509 Nothing, it's... 506 00:37:41,675 --> 00:37:43,769 You don't like to kiss me? 507 00:37:43,927 --> 00:37:47,728 No, I do. I like... I really like... It's just... 508 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:51,693 You have a girlfriend at home. 509 00:37:53,353 --> 00:37:56,233 Yeah, a girlfriend. Or at least, I think I do. 510 00:37:57,650 --> 00:37:59,117 (IN ITALIAN) 511 00:38:02,655 --> 00:38:04,282 (IN ITALIAN) 512 00:38:05,992 --> 00:38:08,164 (IN ENGLISH) Signora Fiorentino was right. 513 00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:10,458 You have a wonderful heart, Paulo. 514 00:38:13,625 --> 00:38:15,719 (IN ITALIAN) 515 00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:34,275 - Sod off. - (IN ENGLISH) It's true. 516 00:38:34,436 --> 00:38:35,905 (JULZ) You're not taking the piss? 517 00:38:36,063 --> 00:38:39,443 I swear I'm not. I'm gonna sing for him tomorrow. 518 00:38:39,608 --> 00:38:41,907 Paul, you must be so nervous. 519 00:38:42,695 --> 00:38:44,538 I'm petrified. 520 00:38:45,532 --> 00:38:48,661 You'll be fine. You just need to breathe on stage and... 521 00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:51,501 Julz, can I tell you something? 522 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:56,213 Yeah? Go on, say it. 523 00:38:57,543 --> 00:38:59,137 I wish you were here. 524 00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,347 So do I. 525 00:39:02,923 --> 00:39:04,597 I'll bring you back one day. 526 00:39:06,010 --> 00:39:07,887 Promise. 527 00:39:09,389 --> 00:39:12,233 (BELLS RINGING) 528 00:39:14,768 --> 00:39:17,943 (ALESSANDRA SINGING IN ITALIAN) 529 00:39:48,427 --> 00:39:50,101 (SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 530 00:40:01,148 --> 00:40:02,775 (SPEAKS IN ITALIAN) 531 00:40:03,233 --> 00:40:06,612 - I wouldn't want to have to follow that. - No. Me neither. 532 00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:16,047 (IN ITALIAN) 533 00:40:16,204 --> 00:40:17,956 (IN ITALIAN) 534 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,922 (SPEAKS IN ITALIAN) 535 00:41:04,628 --> 00:41:06,630 I see you've gone for the Nokia 6020. 536 00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:09,182 Brilliant phone. 537 00:41:10,802 --> 00:41:13,646 Not cheap, mind, but I doubt you worry about that. (CHUCKLES) 538 00:41:17,849 --> 00:41:21,400 How are you finding the battery life on it? Is it...? 539 00:41:27,402 --> 00:41:30,576 We're gonna... Should we...? Yeah? OK. 540 00:41:31,655 --> 00:41:33,657 (PUCCINI'S CHE GELIDA MANINA) 541 00:41:37,494 --> 00:41:40,418 (SINGING IN ITALIAN) 542 00:41:48,505 --> 00:41:52,010 Can I...? Sorry. Sorry, can I...? 543 00:42:06,983 --> 00:42:08,326 Sorry. 544 00:42:11,278 --> 00:42:13,907 (PUCCINI'S CHE GELIDA MANINA) 545 00:42:17,409 --> 00:42:20,038 (SINGING IN ITALIAN) 546 00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:36,436 (SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 547 00:42:36,596 --> 00:42:38,690 (IN ENGLISH) Stop. Please, no more. 548 00:42:38,847 --> 00:42:41,271 You are very nervous, no? 549 00:42:41,434 --> 00:42:42,777 Very. 550 00:42:42,934 --> 00:42:46,188 I can hear it in your voice. You lack too much the confidence. 551 00:42:46,355 --> 00:42:49,699 Rodolfo could never run out of breath like this on che giova. 552 00:42:50,525 --> 00:42:54,996 To sing opera, you need to steal the heart of the audience, 553 00:42:55,155 --> 00:42:58,831 and you cannot steal unless you have the nerves of the thief. 554 00:43:00,369 --> 00:43:03,248 For me, you are not yet an opera singer. 555 00:43:05,291 --> 00:43:07,213 Not yet for sure. 556 00:43:07,876 --> 00:43:09,753 And maybe never. 557 00:43:13,882 --> 00:43:16,385 (PAVAROTTI & FIORENTINO SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) 558 00:43:43,871 --> 00:43:48,001 (FOREMAN) Now we add the iron ore, limestone and coke. 559 00:43:48,166 --> 00:43:51,887 Bake up to about 2000 degrees, and Bob's your uncle. 560 00:43:52,463 --> 00:43:56,684 Come on, boys, let's show you how we make the gingerbread. 561 00:44:07,603 --> 00:44:10,481 John. John, hang on a minute. 562 00:44:12,065 --> 00:44:15,445 These ovens are only about 1000 degrees, 563 00:44:15,610 --> 00:44:19,365 so consider yourself lucky if you end up here. 564 00:44:19,532 --> 00:44:21,454 Come on, boys, straight through. 565 00:44:44,724 --> 00:44:46,442 (CAR DOOR SLAMS) 566 00:44:47,809 --> 00:44:50,563 Cary Morris tells me you walked off the job. 567 00:44:50,730 --> 00:44:52,731 I can't do it, Dad. I can't work here. 568 00:44:52,898 --> 00:44:54,525 Oh, too physical, is it? 569 00:44:55,443 --> 00:44:58,867 Don't get to wear enough makeup or hear enough applause? 570 00:44:59,447 --> 00:45:02,121 There's nobody screaming "encore"? 571 00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:06,663 You have had your great adventure, which is more than I ever had. 572 00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:09,126 But this is your life now. 573 00:45:09,289 --> 00:45:11,713 Work hard, get a few quid in your pocket, 574 00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:14,173 grab a few pints before you go home, and have a... 575 00:45:14,336 --> 00:45:16,054 - (HORN HONKING) - (MATTHEW) Hey! 576 00:45:16,922 --> 00:45:18,891 Coming for a pint or what, Roland? 577 00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:21,724 Bring Paul along, he'll sing us one of his Italian songs. 578 00:45:21,885 --> 00:45:23,728 (LAUGHING) 579 00:45:23,887 --> 00:45:27,233 - I'll catch up with you. - All right, nice one. 580 00:45:30,936 --> 00:45:32,860 Now, you listen. 581 00:45:33,021 --> 00:45:36,492 There's a waiting list as long as a donkey's knob for your job. 582 00:45:36,650 --> 00:45:39,153 I was able to square things with Cary this once, 583 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:43,496 but you screw up again and you'll be out on the street in more ways than one. 584 00:45:43,907 --> 00:45:45,284 Do I make myself clear? 585 00:45:47,619 --> 00:45:49,713 - Do I? - Yes. 586 00:46:13,813 --> 00:46:18,943 Right. Now, how far away from the house will the telephone actually work? 587 00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:21,954 - As far as you like. - Oh, rubbish. 588 00:46:22,112 --> 00:46:27,210 Last telephone we had, the cord wouldn't even reach as far as the back door. 589 00:46:27,367 --> 00:46:29,666 This doesn't have a cord. 590 00:46:30,913 --> 00:46:32,539 What do you call this, then? 591 00:46:32,706 --> 00:46:35,677 Now, look here, we don't take kindly to bullshitters. 592 00:46:35,835 --> 00:46:37,882 - (MAN) No. - That's because you're insane. 593 00:46:38,378 --> 00:46:40,097 - You can't say that to us! - Oh! 594 00:46:40,255 --> 00:46:43,635 - How very rude! - Come on, we're going somewhere else. 595 00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:47,521 - Some people have no manners. - (WOMAN) Come here again... 596 00:46:47,679 --> 00:46:50,603 Customer service skills are improving by the day, I see. 597 00:46:50,807 --> 00:46:52,809 Hello, Pottsy. When'd you get back? 598 00:46:53,351 --> 00:46:55,650 - Couple of weeks. - How was it? 599 00:46:57,731 --> 00:46:59,074 It didn't really... 600 00:46:59,233 --> 00:47:00,985 Oh, dear. 601 00:47:01,152 --> 00:47:03,246 Come on, let's get out of here. 602 00:47:03,945 --> 00:47:06,074 (BRADDON) Blast furnace slag removal. 603 00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:08,742 Christ, could anything sound more glamorous? 604 00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:10,376 Maybe I'll get used to it. 605 00:47:10,536 --> 00:47:15,336 Maybe I'll grow a third hand so I can surf online and wank at the same time. 606 00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:17,668 - I thought you already had. - No. 607 00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:22,181 You've gotta be born with it. Same as you were born to sing. 608 00:47:22,340 --> 00:47:23,762 You're the lucky one, Paul. 609 00:47:23,965 --> 00:47:26,434 You know what you were put on this earth to do. 610 00:47:26,594 --> 00:47:28,596 You have an actual talent for singing. 611 00:47:28,762 --> 00:47:31,266 - Not according to Pavarotti. - Screw Pavarotti. 612 00:47:31,431 --> 00:47:33,934 He's nothing but a binge eater with a comb-over. 613 00:47:34,101 --> 00:47:36,068 And my absolute hero. 614 00:47:36,228 --> 00:47:37,730 So, you choked. 615 00:47:37,896 --> 00:47:41,197 Everybody chokes sometimes. It's not the end of the world. 616 00:47:41,358 --> 00:47:44,202 No, the end of the world's right there. 617 00:47:44,362 --> 00:47:46,329 Slag removal. 618 00:47:46,489 --> 00:47:48,536 Don't go back there if you can help it. 619 00:47:48,865 --> 00:47:51,266 At least not while you still have your voice 620 00:47:51,291 --> 00:47:53,317 and a girlfriend who believes in you. 621 00:47:54,579 --> 00:47:56,422 I'm not sure I've even got that. 622 00:47:56,581 --> 00:47:59,175 Don't tell me you screwed it up with Julz too? 623 00:48:01,336 --> 00:48:03,760 All right, now you're a bloody loser. 624 00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:06,349 (PAUL SIGHS) 625 00:48:13,181 --> 00:48:15,184 (LINE RINGING) 626 00:48:17,018 --> 00:48:19,021 (PHONE RINGING) 627 00:48:19,188 --> 00:48:21,190 (MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV) 628 00:48:27,445 --> 00:48:30,119 (JULZ ON RECORDING) Hi. It's Julz. Leave a message after the tone. 629 00:49:13,367 --> 00:49:16,291 (JULZ) There you are. Thank you very much. 630 00:49:22,918 --> 00:49:25,387 Are you finding everything you need, sir? 631 00:49:25,545 --> 00:49:27,639 Mm-hm. Yes, I'm good, thank you very much. 632 00:49:27,882 --> 00:49:29,679 You're intending to buy something? 633 00:49:29,884 --> 00:49:34,105 Yeah, no, I am. That's... I wouldn't... I'm here to get these, actually. 634 00:49:34,262 --> 00:49:36,106 This is what I'm... 635 00:49:37,724 --> 00:49:39,146 (WOMAN ON RECORDING) Cashier Number 2, please. 636 00:49:39,309 --> 00:49:43,690 These are the good ones, right? Yep, ones and twos, so... 637 00:49:44,148 --> 00:49:46,900 That's me. I'm all done now, thanks very much. 638 00:49:47,067 --> 00:49:50,320 Cashier Number 5, please. 639 00:49:53,324 --> 00:49:55,452 Oh, still no joy, Mrs Cosgrove? 640 00:49:55,617 --> 00:49:58,086 No. Still can't shift a thing down there. 641 00:49:58,244 --> 00:50:01,043 It's like pushing a pineapple down a hosepipe. 642 00:50:01,248 --> 00:50:03,717 Cashier Number 1, please. 643 00:50:05,168 --> 00:50:09,719 Right. Well, a couple more of these and you'll be right as rain. All right. 644 00:50:09,882 --> 00:50:12,635 Cashier Number 1, please. 645 00:50:14,844 --> 00:50:16,893 Cashier Number 5, please. 646 00:50:22,519 --> 00:50:24,818 Julz, I'm so sorry. 647 00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:26,322 Is that all today, sir? 648 00:50:26,481 --> 00:50:29,452 - I'm an idiot, and I... - It's 9.99, please. 649 00:50:30,318 --> 00:50:32,867 I just wanted to be able to speak to you about... 650 00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:36,284 - Just let me explain, please, - Nine ninety-nine. 651 00:50:36,449 --> 00:50:38,748 Exactly why I've been doing this, all right? 652 00:50:38,911 --> 00:50:41,539 Cashier Number 5, please. 653 00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:51,302 (JULZ) Hi. Do you want a bag? 654 00:50:52,257 --> 00:50:55,228 Cashier Number 3, please. 655 00:50:59,389 --> 00:51:03,065 - Cashier Number 4, please. - Your change, all right? 656 00:51:03,686 --> 00:51:07,485 - Thank you. - Cashier Number 1, please. 657 00:51:08,148 --> 00:51:10,570 Cashier Number 5, please. 658 00:51:18,117 --> 00:51:20,693 I know you're mad, but if you'll listen... 659 00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:21,737 Fifty pence. 660 00:51:21,869 --> 00:51:24,463 - (PAUL) Will you listen to me for one... - It's a pound. 661 00:51:24,623 --> 00:51:27,137 There is a legitimate reason why I didn't... 662 00:51:27,164 --> 00:51:29,119 Will you please give me a chan...? 663 00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:32,222 - Julz, stop. - No. I trusted you. 664 00:51:32,380 --> 00:51:34,724 I thought what we had meant something. 665 00:51:34,882 --> 00:51:38,228 Look, I never wanna see you again. 666 00:51:38,804 --> 00:51:40,646 Do you have a Boots Advantage Card? 667 00:51:42,682 --> 00:51:44,309 No. 668 00:51:44,768 --> 00:51:47,737 (WOMAN ON RECORDING) Cashier Number 5, please. 669 00:51:47,896 --> 00:51:49,989 Are you serious? 670 00:51:50,148 --> 00:51:54,199 If there's no problem, sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to move it along. 671 00:52:03,871 --> 00:52:05,543 I'm sorry. 672 00:52:11,170 --> 00:52:12,512 Hi. 673 00:52:18,927 --> 00:52:20,599 (JULZ) Thank you. 674 00:52:21,387 --> 00:52:23,436 See you tomorrow. 675 00:52:27,393 --> 00:52:29,112 I messed up. All right? 676 00:52:29,271 --> 00:52:31,989 Pavarotti tore me to shreds. I choked. 677 00:52:32,148 --> 00:52:35,277 I couldn't bear to hear your voice knowing I'd let you down. 678 00:52:35,443 --> 00:52:37,242 You think that's what let me down? 679 00:52:37,403 --> 00:52:40,532 - I don't know, I just felt... - You ever think how I felt? 680 00:52:40,699 --> 00:52:42,371 Wondering what happened to you? 681 00:52:42,659 --> 00:52:45,914 I was falling in love with you. When you got back from Venice, 682 00:52:46,079 --> 00:52:48,291 I was gonna knock on your door and say, 683 00:52:48,318 --> 00:52:50,860 "Let's give it a go. Let's move in together." 684 00:52:51,001 --> 00:52:54,550 I had my bags packed and I was waiting for you to call, and nothing. 685 00:52:54,713 --> 00:52:56,090 - Nothing. - I'm sorry. 686 00:52:56,255 --> 00:52:59,476 - No, I'm done with you. - Julz. 687 00:52:59,635 --> 00:53:01,387 - Julz, please. - Leave me alone! 688 00:53:01,552 --> 00:53:03,396 Julz! 689 00:53:04,639 --> 00:53:05,983 Wait! 690 00:53:06,141 --> 00:53:07,768 Julz! 691 00:53:12,523 --> 00:53:19,748 Thou art my thoughts my present and my future 692 00:53:19,947 --> 00:53:23,577 Thou art my heart supreme 693 00:53:23,742 --> 00:53:27,336 Its only joy 694 00:53:27,996 --> 00:53:34,469 I love thee more than any earthly creature 695 00:53:34,628 --> 00:53:37,347 I love thee, dear 696 00:53:37,505 --> 00:53:40,134 I love thee, dear 697 00:53:40,300 --> 00:53:46,557 I love thee now and for eternity 698 00:53:46,724 --> 00:53:49,693 I love thee now 699 00:53:50,101 --> 00:53:57,110 And for eternity 700 00:54:00,153 --> 00:54:02,202 So, you can sing, then? 701 00:54:03,699 --> 00:54:05,496 Yeah, I can. 702 00:54:06,117 --> 00:54:08,119 I can for you. 703 00:54:47,451 --> 00:54:53,800 For to whatever fate God's will may do me 704 00:54:53,956 --> 00:54:56,585 I love thee, dear 705 00:54:56,751 --> 00:54:58,846 I love thee, dear 706 00:54:59,003 --> 00:55:03,760 I love thee now and for eternity 707 00:55:04,384 --> 00:55:12,188 I love thee now and for eternity 708 00:55:15,228 --> 00:55:17,072 (LAUGHING) 709 00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:30,251 (RICK ASTLEY'S NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP) 710 00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:35,039 (CROWD CHATTERING) 711 00:55:41,170 --> 00:55:43,014 And hurt you 712 00:55:43,965 --> 00:55:45,592 You fancy a drink? 713 00:55:45,759 --> 00:55:47,726 Champagne, please. 714 00:55:48,344 --> 00:55:49,938 Back in a flash, Mrs Potts. 715 00:55:50,097 --> 00:55:51,769 Why, thank you very much, Mr Potts. 716 00:55:51,931 --> 00:55:53,809 (BOTH LAUGH) 717 00:55:54,851 --> 00:55:56,195 (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 718 00:55:56,353 --> 00:55:59,322 (ROLAND) Did I ever tell you how I fractured Gareth Edwards' clavicle? 719 00:55:59,481 --> 00:56:01,483 - The Gareth Edwards? - When I was your age. 720 00:56:01,650 --> 00:56:04,277 - I was running down... - (MATTHEW) I was running down... 721 00:56:04,443 --> 00:56:07,367 - Oh, you bastard! Having me on! - (LAUGHING) 722 00:56:07,530 --> 00:56:09,329 Champagne and a lager, please. 723 00:56:09,490 --> 00:56:10,913 Paul. Paul. 724 00:56:11,201 --> 00:56:15,876 - You remember Bill and Matthew? - Paul and me went to school together. 725 00:56:16,289 --> 00:56:18,759 Felicitations and all that. 726 00:56:21,420 --> 00:56:23,217 Thanks. 727 00:56:23,380 --> 00:56:26,884 Surprised to see you getting married. I wasn't even sure they'd dropped yet. 728 00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:29,052 (LAUGHING) 729 00:56:29,219 --> 00:56:32,222 (DEXY'S MIDNIGHT RUNNERS' COME ON EILEEN) 730 00:56:32,597 --> 00:56:35,568 He's joking. We're all three or four sheets to the wind. 731 00:56:35,726 --> 00:56:38,103 - How could you invite him? - How could I not? 732 00:56:38,269 --> 00:56:41,648 He married your mother's niece Julie last April. 733 00:56:41,815 --> 00:56:43,567 And besides, he's a good lad. 734 00:56:43,733 --> 00:56:47,079 He plays rugby, he's not afraid of hard work... 735 00:56:47,737 --> 00:56:50,456 - What's all the bad blood between you? - Not today. 736 00:56:50,615 --> 00:56:52,458 (YVONNE) Wait, love. Go on, tell him. 737 00:56:52,617 --> 00:56:53,960 I say, young man, 738 00:56:54,119 --> 00:56:58,123 I don't know where you found it, but your vocal control has improved. 739 00:56:58,289 --> 00:57:01,965 Thanks very much. I spent time in Italy, but I don't really sing... 740 00:57:02,126 --> 00:57:04,255 - Tell him. - I'm commissioned to conduct 741 00:57:04,420 --> 00:57:07,094 a production of Aida in Bath. 742 00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:09,931 And you, sir, would make a wonderful Radamés. 743 00:57:10,844 --> 00:57:13,472 - Are you serious? - There's no pay, I'm afraid. 744 00:57:13,639 --> 00:57:14,981 Well, now, hold on... 745 00:57:15,139 --> 00:57:16,516 - He'll take it. - I'd love to. 746 00:57:16,682 --> 00:57:18,731 - (ROLAND MUTTERS) - (YVONNE) Oh, do be quiet. 747 00:57:18,893 --> 00:57:20,237 They're playing our song, 748 00:57:20,394 --> 00:57:24,945 so stop moaning and start thrusting your pelvis in my general direction. 749 00:57:25,108 --> 00:57:26,451 (ROLAND LAUGHS) 750 00:57:26,844 --> 00:57:28,003 (CHOIRMASTER) Congratulations. 751 00:57:28,152 --> 00:57:32,954 Thank you so much. That's the best news. I can't quite believe that. Thank you. 752 00:57:38,746 --> 00:57:41,590 (PAUL & JULZ LAUGHING) 753 00:57:44,835 --> 00:57:47,760 I mean, the lead in Aida. 754 00:57:48,507 --> 00:57:52,353 I can't believe it. I don't know how this day can get any better. 755 00:57:52,510 --> 00:57:56,686 Well, um, I can think of something. 756 00:58:00,936 --> 00:58:04,735 Oh, hang on, I got you a surprise. 757 00:58:04,898 --> 00:58:06,445 Oh. 758 00:58:07,775 --> 00:58:09,322 What is it? 759 00:58:12,197 --> 00:58:15,451 - Oh, my God. - I know. 760 00:58:15,617 --> 00:58:19,338 - Where did you find this? - That's not even the best bit. 761 00:58:21,539 --> 00:58:24,168 - What is it? - A bike. 762 00:58:24,333 --> 00:58:25,927 Just open it. 763 00:58:33,010 --> 00:58:37,106 - Puccini? - It's an original recording from... 764 00:58:37,264 --> 00:58:39,436 Oh. Um... 765 00:58:39,599 --> 00:58:40,942 From... 766 00:58:41,101 --> 00:58:44,748 From La Scala, Milan on April 25th, 19... 767 00:58:44,773 --> 00:58:47,724 1926, conducted by Toscanini. 768 00:58:49,900 --> 00:58:53,405 Oh, my God, I can't believe this. 769 00:59:02,748 --> 00:59:06,172 This was recorded before Pavarotti was even born. 770 00:59:06,333 --> 00:59:10,213 It's a really difficult aria, especially at the end. It's... 771 00:59:10,380 --> 00:59:12,552 (PUCCINI'S NESSUN DORMA) 772 00:59:12,715 --> 00:59:14,389 Thank you. 773 00:59:14,550 --> 00:59:16,052 Thank you so much. 774 00:59:29,648 --> 00:59:31,697 What's he saying? 775 00:59:31,860 --> 00:59:33,987 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 776 00:59:34,153 --> 00:59:39,251 He's saying "nessun dorma". "None shall sleep." 777 00:59:39,409 --> 00:59:42,708 Calaf has been rejected by the woman that he loves. 778 00:59:42,871 --> 00:59:44,748 - She's a princess. - Ugh. 779 00:59:44,914 --> 00:59:47,588 Why does it always have to be about a princess? 780 00:59:47,751 --> 00:59:51,005 Why can't checkout girls have love stories written about them? 781 00:59:51,170 --> 00:59:55,050 Yeah, I don't think they had checkout girls in the 1700s, babe. 782 00:59:55,217 --> 00:59:57,184 Help me with this, will you? 783 01:00:02,224 --> 01:00:04,851 If she can guess his name by dawn, 784 01:00:05,018 --> 01:00:07,612 she gets to cancel the wedding 785 01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:10,398 and she can chop his head off. 786 01:00:10,565 --> 01:00:13,614 Sounds a bit more exciting than calling for a clean-up on Aisle 7. 787 01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:16,199 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 788 01:00:17,030 --> 01:00:20,204 - There you go. That's it. You're done. - OK. 789 01:00:22,034 --> 01:00:24,378 Right, turn away, then. 790 01:00:24,704 --> 01:00:26,331 Right. 791 01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:30,969 My secret is hidden within me. 792 01:00:31,585 --> 01:00:33,588 None shall know my name. 793 01:00:34,380 --> 01:00:38,851 On your mouth, I will say it when the light shines. 794 01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,447 And my kiss 795 01:00:55,610 --> 01:00:57,657 will dissolve the silence 796 01:00:59,780 --> 01:01:01,157 that makes you mine. 797 01:01:03,577 --> 01:01:05,545 So, kiss me. 798 01:01:21,344 --> 01:01:23,688 I've never done this before. 799 01:01:24,431 --> 01:01:26,478 It's OK. 800 01:01:26,641 --> 01:01:28,893 I've had thousands. 801 01:01:30,186 --> 01:01:32,565 (CHUCKLES) I'm joking. 802 01:01:46,577 --> 01:01:48,876 So, what happens to them? 803 01:01:55,085 --> 01:01:57,463 Well, she tortures all his friends 804 01:01:57,630 --> 01:02:00,349 who refuse to reveal his name. 805 01:02:03,802 --> 01:02:05,896 And then at dawn, 806 01:02:07,974 --> 01:02:10,226 he kisses her. 807 01:02:11,894 --> 01:02:14,773 And she falls madly in love with him. 808 01:02:25,242 --> 01:02:30,043 Right, so that's the bit where I come up. I come up to about here, yeah? 809 01:02:30,204 --> 01:02:33,378 - A step downstage perhaps. And then... - (PAUL) Uh-huh. 810 01:02:33,541 --> 01:02:36,545 That's when I take her in my arms and start to seduce her. 811 01:02:36,710 --> 01:02:38,759 (CHOIRMASTER) While singing brilliantly, of course. 812 01:02:38,922 --> 01:02:40,298 Well, of course, yeah. 813 01:02:40,465 --> 01:02:43,719 (ELI PAPERBOY REED'S COME AND GET IT) 814 01:02:51,643 --> 01:02:54,112 (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 815 01:03:04,364 --> 01:03:06,206 (HORN HONKS) 816 01:03:20,963 --> 01:03:24,092 - Drink with me, Paul. - What? 817 01:03:24,300 --> 01:03:26,804 Drink with me. Come on, drink with me. 818 01:03:26,969 --> 01:03:28,938 It's the morning. What are you doing? 819 01:03:29,097 --> 01:03:30,815 - Drowning my sorrows. - Why? 820 01:03:30,974 --> 01:03:33,021 - She's left me. - Who? 821 01:03:33,184 --> 01:03:35,481 Hydrangea. She left me this morning. 822 01:03:35,644 --> 01:03:37,612 She has to be at work at 7. 823 01:03:37,771 --> 01:03:39,900 - What did you do? - Got down on one knee 824 01:03:40,065 --> 01:03:41,659 and asked her to marry me. 825 01:03:41,818 --> 01:03:43,161 Oh, wow. 826 01:03:43,320 --> 01:03:46,869 I know. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. 827 01:03:47,032 --> 01:03:48,409 - Get out! - Braddon. 828 01:03:48,574 --> 01:03:50,873 - Get out! - I'm so sorry, Mrs Petersham. 829 01:03:51,036 --> 01:03:53,289 She was coming back for an upgrade. 830 01:03:53,454 --> 01:03:55,798 Are you serious? That's why she left? 831 01:03:55,956 --> 01:03:57,458 I rushed her. 832 01:03:57,625 --> 01:04:00,298 She was always saying she didn't want to be rushed, 833 01:04:00,461 --> 01:04:02,760 but maybe she didn't want to be loved. 834 01:04:02,922 --> 01:04:05,425 Maybe she didn't know how to be loved. 835 01:04:05,592 --> 01:04:08,641 Maybe none of us do. Drink with me, Paul, please. 836 01:04:09,137 --> 01:04:13,858 - I can't. I've got the show tomorrow. - Rejected again. Cast adrift. 837 01:04:14,016 --> 01:04:17,487 A lone sailor looking for love on the open seas. 838 01:04:17,644 --> 01:04:20,614 All right, maybe I'll just have a sip, then. 839 01:04:22,692 --> 01:04:25,490 Ugh. That's... Ow. 840 01:04:26,737 --> 01:04:28,536 - What is that? - Créme de menthe. 841 01:04:28,697 --> 01:04:32,623 - Why are you drinking it? - It reminds me of my childhood. 842 01:04:32,869 --> 01:04:34,211 (BURPS) 843 01:04:42,670 --> 01:04:44,217 Hello? 844 01:04:44,380 --> 01:04:45,802 (PEOPLE CHATTERING ON TV) 845 01:04:45,965 --> 01:04:48,184 Radamés. 846 01:04:50,010 --> 01:04:53,184 Wherefore art thou? 847 01:04:56,101 --> 01:04:57,898 Oh, my God. 848 01:04:58,603 --> 01:05:01,106 - What's wrong? What's happened? - (PAUL GROANS) 849 01:05:07,237 --> 01:05:10,661 Right. Well, the good news is, 850 01:05:11,532 --> 01:05:15,333 it has got nothing to do with the créme de menthe. 851 01:05:15,911 --> 01:05:19,632 - And the not-good news? - The appendix hasn't ruptured yet. 852 01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:23,045 - Oh, thank God. - It is gonna have to come out. 853 01:05:23,210 --> 01:05:25,509 - Well, when? - About an hour or so. 854 01:05:25,672 --> 01:05:28,596 - No, I can't. - No, his opera opens tomorrow night. 855 01:05:28,757 --> 01:05:31,556 - Oh, fantastic. Which one? - Aida. 856 01:05:31,719 --> 01:05:36,065 Now, is that the one with Madonna? It's got that lovely Latin flavour to it? 857 01:05:37,641 --> 01:05:40,485 Well, singing is quite out of the question, I'm afraid. 858 01:05:41,603 --> 01:05:43,822 I'm the lead, I can't let everybody down. 859 01:05:43,981 --> 01:05:46,905 An appendectomy is invasive surgery. 860 01:05:47,068 --> 01:05:50,697 If we leave it in, it's sure to rupture, and that could be fatal. 861 01:05:50,905 --> 01:05:53,704 If we take it out, any great effort like singing, 862 01:05:53,867 --> 01:05:58,418 and you're liable to burst the stitches, and that could cause irreparable damage. 863 01:05:58,579 --> 01:05:59,956 Well, how irreparable? 864 01:06:00,123 --> 01:06:04,878 Well, it is possible that singing won't be possible. 865 01:06:05,878 --> 01:06:08,007 Oh, that's that, then. 866 01:06:10,132 --> 01:06:13,306 (ROLAND) To sing so soon after surgery, well, it's... 867 01:06:13,469 --> 01:06:16,349 - It's idiotic if you ask me. - Yes, well, we didn't. 868 01:06:16,514 --> 01:06:19,108 We never have and we're not going to. 869 01:06:19,266 --> 01:06:21,440 Least we can do is support him, 870 01:06:21,603 --> 01:06:24,447 no matter how much of a pinhead he's being. 871 01:06:25,898 --> 01:06:29,072 I'll thank you both not to talk about my husband in that way. 872 01:06:29,235 --> 01:06:32,489 Yes, you're right, love, but it's just so... Oh. 873 01:06:32,655 --> 01:06:35,373 Why can't he just put himself first for a change? 874 01:06:35,532 --> 01:06:38,161 Because then he'd just be like everyone else, 875 01:06:38,327 --> 01:06:40,547 and he's not. 876 01:06:40,996 --> 01:06:45,422 You are a very lovely girl. 877 01:06:45,585 --> 01:06:49,556 I'd trade both my ears for a pint right about now. 878 01:06:52,467 --> 01:06:55,219 (GROANING) 879 01:06:57,472 --> 01:07:00,942 - (STAGEHAND) Right, Paul. You OK? - Yeah, I'm fine. 880 01:07:01,099 --> 01:07:03,898 - The first act sounded bloody marvelous. - Thanks. 881 01:07:05,063 --> 01:07:07,782 - Ready for the big duet? - Mm. 882 01:07:12,653 --> 01:07:15,452 (PAUL & WOMAN SINGING) 883 01:07:16,490 --> 01:07:18,744 (SNORING) 884 01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:51,326 (WOMAN GASPS) 885 01:07:51,483 --> 01:07:53,782 Paul! Paul! 886 01:07:53,945 --> 01:07:55,288 Excuse me. 887 01:08:10,168 --> 01:08:12,637 (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 888 01:08:15,632 --> 01:08:17,976 - I don't believe it. - (YVONNE) What? What is it? 889 01:08:18,136 --> 01:08:21,685 They've stopped the bleeding, he's gonna be fine, but 890 01:08:21,847 --> 01:08:23,815 they found a tumour in his thyroid. 891 01:08:25,100 --> 01:08:26,899 His what? 892 01:08:27,060 --> 01:08:28,608 In his throat. 893 01:08:44,037 --> 01:08:46,381 Look, I know you're frightened. 894 01:08:46,538 --> 01:08:48,962 And the fact that you might never sing again 895 01:08:49,125 --> 01:08:52,253 might be too much for you to bear, 896 01:08:52,420 --> 01:08:58,722 but I just want you to know that even if you never even speak again, 897 01:08:58,885 --> 01:09:01,979 I will do everything in my power 898 01:09:02,137 --> 01:09:05,768 to fill our lives with as much music 899 01:09:05,932 --> 01:09:10,404 and love and happiness as I can possibly manage. 900 01:09:27,663 --> 01:09:29,666 (JULZ) Thank you. 901 01:09:35,505 --> 01:09:38,132 Oh, come on, just one drink. 902 01:09:38,298 --> 01:09:41,097 I swear we'll be home in a half hour, right? 903 01:09:41,260 --> 01:09:42,853 Thank you. 904 01:09:49,601 --> 01:09:52,229 Surprise! (LAUGHING) 905 01:09:52,396 --> 01:09:54,274 For he's a jolly good fellow 906 01:09:54,439 --> 01:09:56,533 For he's a jolly good fellow 907 01:09:56,693 --> 01:10:00,243 For he's a jolly good fellow 908 01:10:00,404 --> 01:10:04,454 Which nobody can deny 909 01:10:04,617 --> 01:10:06,289 (BRADDON COUGHING) 910 01:10:06,452 --> 01:10:09,546 For bravery and the rather thickheaded willingness 911 01:10:09,706 --> 01:10:12,050 to sacrifice himself for his fellow man, 912 01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:17,721 Bath Opera is proud to present you with the first Golden Appendix Award. 913 01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:20,349 In hopes for a speedy return to the stage. 914 01:10:20,716 --> 01:10:22,594 (ALL CHEER) 915 01:10:24,136 --> 01:10:26,185 My God. 916 01:10:28,015 --> 01:10:29,733 (WHISPERS) Thank you so much. 917 01:10:29,891 --> 01:10:32,270 - Speak up. - Can't hear you. 918 01:10:32,436 --> 01:10:35,155 How about you write it down and I'll read it out? 919 01:10:38,775 --> 01:10:40,823 "My whole life 920 01:10:40,987 --> 01:10:45,037 "I've struggled to make friends. 921 01:10:45,574 --> 01:10:48,328 "Now I have an entire company. 922 01:10:49,453 --> 01:10:53,333 "From the bottom of my heart, 923 01:10:53,541 --> 01:10:55,087 - "thank you." - (CROWD) Aw. 924 01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:57,173 Next drink's on the company. 925 01:10:57,336 --> 01:11:00,215 (CROWD) Hip hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray! 926 01:11:00,381 --> 01:11:02,054 Hip. hip, hooray! 927 01:11:03,301 --> 01:11:06,180 Get me half a lager, babe. I'm just going to the loo. 928 01:11:06,345 --> 01:11:08,313 So, how's he doing? 929 01:11:08,472 --> 01:11:10,567 Well, he's heartbroken, 930 01:11:10,725 --> 01:11:13,103 but we'll see. 931 01:11:13,269 --> 01:11:17,444 Here's the recording of Aida at least. The one he made before the performance. 932 01:11:17,606 --> 01:11:19,951 He can have his voice back whenever he likes. 933 01:11:20,109 --> 01:11:22,658 Oh, thank you. Thanks, he'll love that. 934 01:11:22,862 --> 01:11:25,489 (PAUL POTTS' CELESTE) 935 01:12:05,947 --> 01:12:07,823 (BRADDON) It's not about the individual, 936 01:12:07,989 --> 01:12:09,707 it's about the Carphone Warehouse family, 937 01:12:09,867 --> 01:12:14,167 and I for one am thrilled to be a part of that family, so thank you. 938 01:12:14,329 --> 01:12:16,047 - Who was that? - Who was what? 939 01:12:16,248 --> 01:12:18,842 - Who was that? - That was just my boss 940 01:12:19,001 --> 01:12:21,253 up at HQ in Croydon, very wise man, 941 01:12:21,420 --> 01:12:23,217 who's seen fit to give me a raise. 942 01:12:24,131 --> 01:12:27,010 A raise? Wha...? Why? 943 01:12:27,301 --> 01:12:29,850 What do you mean, why? I'm a stupendous manager. 944 01:12:30,011 --> 01:12:31,604 I feel a sudden urge to sing. 945 01:12:31,764 --> 01:12:34,563 Oh, God, please don't. Don't take this the wrong way. 946 01:12:34,725 --> 01:12:39,070 I mean this in no way personally, but you know you're a crap manager. 947 01:12:39,479 --> 01:12:42,029 You know that, I know that, but if you must know, 948 01:12:42,233 --> 01:12:46,488 over the last two quarters, our shop has had the highest sales in all of Wales. 949 01:12:46,654 --> 01:12:50,375 The highest sales in all of Wales! 950 01:12:50,533 --> 01:12:53,787 Amazing. In the six months since I got back from my surgery? 951 01:12:53,953 --> 01:12:57,047 In which time I've kept the shop open from 10 until 6. 952 01:12:57,206 --> 01:12:59,550 I put the ad in the local paper and online... 953 01:12:59,708 --> 01:13:03,555 All right, blimey! I'm trying to tell you you're getting a raise as well. 954 01:13:03,712 --> 01:13:05,386 - Am I? - Couple of quid an hour. 955 01:13:05,547 --> 01:13:07,015 You serious? 956 01:13:07,173 --> 01:13:14,399 - The highest sales in all of...! - In all of Wales! 957 01:13:15,850 --> 01:13:19,319 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I can sing. 958 01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:21,146 (PAUL LAUGHING) 959 01:13:21,314 --> 01:13:22,860 - I can sing. - You can sing. 960 01:13:23,024 --> 01:13:24,822 I can sing. 961 01:13:24,984 --> 01:13:29,534 The highest sales in all of Wales! 962 01:13:29,697 --> 01:13:31,073 Little pitchy, up a half. 963 01:13:31,239 --> 01:13:36,997 - The highest sales in all of Wales! - The highest sales in all of Wales! 964 01:13:37,162 --> 01:13:39,086 - He's back! He's back! - (PAUL LAUGHING) 965 01:13:39,247 --> 01:13:40,750 I can sing! 966 01:13:40,917 --> 01:13:44,011 - Mrs Evans, I can sing! - Jolly good. 967 01:13:44,170 --> 01:13:46,969 - Tell your mum I'll see her at bingo. - Will do! 968 01:13:47,131 --> 01:13:51,261 In all of Wales! 969 01:13:51,719 --> 01:13:53,220 Julz! Julz, 970 01:13:53,386 --> 01:13:56,310 - I can sing! - What? 971 01:13:56,515 --> 01:13:59,814 I can sing! 972 01:14:01,938 --> 01:14:03,780 Oh, my God. 973 01:14:07,525 --> 01:14:11,827 You've shattered your collarbone, broken four ribs and dislocated your pelvis. 974 01:14:11,988 --> 01:14:15,368 - But he'll be able... - He won't be running a marathon soon. 975 01:14:15,533 --> 01:14:18,707 Hard to tell when he'll even be back on his feet. 976 01:14:19,454 --> 01:14:20,877 Cameron? 977 01:14:21,122 --> 01:14:24,672 Oh, you have gotta stop doing this to me. 978 01:14:28,130 --> 01:14:31,179 (ANDREA BOCELLI'S CON TE PARTIRO) 979 01:14:45,355 --> 01:14:48,074 (SINGING IN ITALIAN) 980 01:14:49,234 --> 01:14:51,703 - (JULZ) Hello? - Hi. 981 01:14:52,029 --> 01:14:55,283 Oh. Tired I am. Today's been hectic. 982 01:14:57,201 --> 01:14:59,123 You all right? 983 01:14:59,828 --> 01:15:01,671 Good day? 984 01:15:02,163 --> 01:15:03,837 Same as yesterday, really. 985 01:15:05,001 --> 01:15:09,346 Oh, Paul, what's with all the washing up? It's the one thing... 986 01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:11,051 - Sorry. - (JULZ SIGHS) 987 01:15:11,215 --> 01:15:13,889 Right. Any idea what you want for tea? 988 01:15:14,385 --> 01:15:16,307 Well, I just had a sandwich, so... 989 01:15:16,511 --> 01:15:19,265 - Oh. Babe. - What? 990 01:15:20,015 --> 01:15:24,192 It'd be nice to eat together for a change. You're not gonna see me all weekend. 991 01:15:24,353 --> 01:15:26,354 - Why? - Sean's asked me to do overtime, 992 01:15:26,521 --> 01:15:29,024 - and we can't afford for me not to. - (DOORBELL RINGS) 993 01:15:30,900 --> 01:15:32,528 (MUSIC STOPS) 994 01:15:32,694 --> 01:15:34,823 - (WHISPERS) This is ridiculous. - (WHISPERS) Shut up. 995 01:15:34,988 --> 01:15:37,117 (JULZ) We can't do this every time the door goes. 996 01:15:37,283 --> 01:15:39,536 If the bailiff comes, they'll take the TV. 997 01:15:39,702 --> 01:15:42,329 If they do, they do. I'm gonna answer it. 998 01:15:42,496 --> 01:15:44,418 - Shut up! Shut up! - Don't you...! 999 01:15:44,582 --> 01:15:46,926 No! Come back! Julz, no! You're my wife! 1000 01:15:47,083 --> 01:15:48,801 (DOORBELL RINGING) 1001 01:15:48,961 --> 01:15:50,884 Oh. It's just Braddon. 1002 01:15:51,881 --> 01:15:53,804 - Tell him I'm not here. - What? 1003 01:15:53,966 --> 01:15:56,970 - Tell him I've gone to Spain. - (BRADDON) I can actually hear you. 1004 01:15:57,136 --> 01:15:59,104 (SIGHS) 1005 01:16:00,264 --> 01:16:01,731 Ta-da. 1006 01:16:01,890 --> 01:16:03,859 Feast your eyes upon the southwestern 1007 01:16:04,018 --> 01:16:06,315 district sub-manager for Carphone Warehouse. 1008 01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:07,947 - You are not. - I am. 1009 01:16:08,104 --> 01:16:11,484 Jesus, your failure-to-success ratio is miraculous. 1010 01:16:11,649 --> 01:16:14,493 Carphone Warehouse recognises talent when they see it. 1011 01:16:14,653 --> 01:16:18,078 Plus, the old district manager died of a heart attack. High five. 1012 01:16:19,033 --> 01:16:21,161 Which means that I am looking for someone 1013 01:16:21,327 --> 01:16:23,921 to fill these rather spectacular, genuine leather, 1014 01:16:24,079 --> 01:16:27,550 convenient Velcro-fastening boots-. 1015 01:16:29,335 --> 01:16:30,712 I'm not sure I'm up to it. 1016 01:16:30,877 --> 01:16:33,721 Bollocks. You've been on disability for over a year, 1017 01:16:33,881 --> 01:16:36,634 they've cut up most of your credit cards, and poor Julz. 1018 01:16:36,801 --> 01:16:39,145 (HORN HONKING) 1019 01:16:39,427 --> 01:16:41,350 Any time this year? 1020 01:16:41,514 --> 01:16:44,063 - You two back together? - Been about a week now. 1021 01:16:44,225 --> 01:16:47,899 Told her about the company Ford Mondeo and she was putty in my hands. 1022 01:16:48,311 --> 01:16:49,689 Don't be a prick, Braddon. 1023 01:16:50,230 --> 01:16:52,574 - Sorry. - So, you're leaving today? 1024 01:16:53,609 --> 01:16:57,283 I don't know if I can. You don't know how many pills I have to take every day... 1025 01:16:57,445 --> 01:17:01,121 Paul, Paul, Paul. I've created a legacy. 1026 01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:03,752 I've established a truly magical workplace. 1027 01:17:03,911 --> 01:17:06,083 I just can't hand that on to anyone. 1028 01:17:06,247 --> 01:17:10,296 Plus, we've signed up for an Elf and Hobbit weekend in the Valleys. 1029 01:17:11,085 --> 01:17:12,757 I'm gonna miss you, bud. 1030 01:17:12,920 --> 01:17:15,890 You're my best mate. There, I said it. 1031 01:17:16,256 --> 01:17:17,600 Rubbish. 1032 01:17:17,757 --> 01:17:21,261 Sub-uber-under district managers don't have time for such emotions. 1033 01:17:21,427 --> 01:17:22,895 It's district sub-manager, 1034 01:17:23,055 --> 01:17:25,729 and I'll be popping around to check up on you. 1035 01:17:25,890 --> 01:17:28,734 Make sure there's no funny business going on. 1036 01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:32,864 Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. 1037 01:17:33,023 --> 01:17:36,653 You've laid around too long, Pottsy. Time to get on with it. 1038 01:17:36,819 --> 01:17:38,617 Mad love. 1039 01:17:39,195 --> 01:17:40,538 (ENGINE SPUTTERING) 1040 01:17:40,698 --> 01:17:42,826 - May the... - Give it a bit more throttle. 1041 01:17:42,992 --> 01:17:45,414 - I know. May the... - (ENGINE SPUTTERS) 1042 01:17:45,578 --> 01:17:47,329 - Now rev it. - (ENGINE DIES) 1043 01:17:47,496 --> 01:17:50,466 - May... Ugh. - Oh, for God's... 1044 01:17:50,623 --> 01:17:52,591 I'm missing Deal or No Deal for this. 1045 01:17:52,751 --> 01:17:55,003 - (ENGINE STARTS) - There we are, then. 1046 01:17:55,628 --> 01:17:57,596 May the Flame of Arveron sustain you. 1047 01:17:58,966 --> 01:18:02,265 (AQUALUNG'S SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN) 1048 01:19:11,372 --> 01:19:14,716 - (JULZ) How was your first day, then? - Yeah, brilliant. 1049 01:19:17,168 --> 01:19:19,296 Any luck with the hiring? 1050 01:19:19,462 --> 01:19:22,966 No, but it'll be better when we get an ad in the paper. 1051 01:19:28,096 --> 01:19:30,725 (SHOWER RUNNING) 1052 01:19:35,770 --> 01:19:38,899 (PAUL SINGING IN ITALIAN) 1053 01:20:10,847 --> 01:20:14,728 Pressure caused the Number 5 Furnace to literally split down the side. 1054 01:20:14,893 --> 01:20:17,442 - Oh, my Lord. - Molten steel running everywhere. 1055 01:20:17,604 --> 01:20:19,025 Eighteen hundred degrees. 1056 01:20:19,189 --> 01:20:22,443 Damn near burnt half the machinery before we got the fire out. 1057 01:20:22,609 --> 01:20:25,453 - Anyone hurt? - Billy Watkins was almost incinerated. 1058 01:20:25,612 --> 01:20:30,708 Lucky for him, Paul's friend, Matthew, hoisted him out before the soup got him. 1059 01:20:31,327 --> 01:20:33,671 - He's not my friend. - He's a bloody hero. 1060 01:20:33,828 --> 01:20:36,332 - (PAUL) Good for him. - Anything exciting at the shop? 1061 01:20:36,497 --> 01:20:40,219 Hang on, love. Whatever disagreements you had at school... 1062 01:20:40,377 --> 01:20:41,720 - Disagreements? - Yes. 1063 01:20:41,878 --> 01:20:45,509 - Disa...? Do you see that, Dad? - Paul. 1064 01:20:45,673 --> 01:20:49,679 That's from a chain wrapped around his fist while two of his droogs held me. 1065 01:20:49,845 --> 01:20:52,472 - I was 12. - I don't remember that happening. 1066 01:20:52,639 --> 01:20:56,939 What was it you said to me? If I lost a couple of stone, I wouldn't provoke him. 1067 01:20:57,101 --> 01:20:58,819 Maybe nothing's changed. 1068 01:20:59,563 --> 01:21:00,905 (SIGHS) 1069 01:21:01,064 --> 01:21:04,159 Life doesn't owe you any favours. Don't you think it's time 1070 01:21:04,318 --> 01:21:07,197 you stop feeling sorry for yourself? We've all got on. 1071 01:21:07,363 --> 01:21:10,457 - What makes you different? - You've got on with your life? 1072 01:21:10,615 --> 01:21:13,586 How many times do we have to hear about Gareth Edwards? 1073 01:21:13,743 --> 01:21:17,213 You don't wake up and regret not pushing yourself further? 1074 01:21:17,372 --> 01:21:18,716 You watch yourself. 1075 01:21:18,873 --> 01:21:22,503 - I had a wife and child to support. - I've been paying for it since. 1076 01:21:22,668 --> 01:21:25,012 You didn't have the courage to take a chance. 1077 01:21:25,171 --> 01:21:27,970 What chance are you taking? How brave are you being? 1078 01:21:28,132 --> 01:21:31,603 Moping at home while your wife works two jobs to pay your rent. 1079 01:21:31,886 --> 01:21:35,186 What's your dream? Employee of the Month at Carphone Warehouse? 1080 01:21:35,349 --> 01:21:37,317 (CHUCKLES) That's some dream. 1081 01:21:37,475 --> 01:21:41,070 You are afraid to sing and you're afraid to get past it, 1082 01:21:41,229 --> 01:21:43,358 so don't you lecture me about giving up! 1083 01:21:44,774 --> 01:21:47,744 Come on, Yvonne, I'm not sitting here listening to this. 1084 01:21:52,740 --> 01:21:54,913 I'm sorry, Mum. 1085 01:22:10,801 --> 01:22:14,225 Right. So, if we consolidate it all into one monthly payment, 1086 01:22:14,430 --> 01:22:17,729 it's 149 pound a month for four and a half years. 1087 01:22:17,890 --> 01:22:19,689 And we've got council tax. 1088 01:22:20,394 --> 01:22:23,238 - Don't know how we're gonna do this. - We'll be fine. 1089 01:22:23,396 --> 01:22:25,945 - Maybe Dad was right. - Oh, sod your dad. 1090 01:22:26,108 --> 01:22:27,451 (COMPUTER BEEPS) 1091 01:22:27,609 --> 01:22:30,237 Oh, my God, these bloody pop-ups. 1092 01:22:30,404 --> 01:22:33,122 - Yeah, what is that? - Some talent competition 1093 01:22:33,282 --> 01:22:36,786 where the best performer in Britain gets 100,000 pounds. 1094 01:22:36,952 --> 01:22:40,001 Well, Robbie Williams is gonna win that, isn't he? 1095 01:22:40,163 --> 01:22:42,882 Yeah, I think it's for amateurs, babe. 1096 01:22:43,041 --> 01:22:46,841 Shame you stopped singing, then. You could have won that laughing. 1097 01:22:54,761 --> 01:22:57,139 (KEYBOARD CLACKING) 1098 01:23:04,020 --> 01:23:06,649 Well, it's cheaper than a lottery ticket. 1099 01:23:08,024 --> 01:23:11,119 - You serious? - I don't know, am I? Am I being stupid? 1100 01:23:11,278 --> 01:23:13,747 No. No, no, do it. 1101 01:23:14,280 --> 01:23:15,908 No, forget it. 1102 01:23:16,365 --> 01:23:18,083 You've got a wonderful voice. 1103 01:23:18,243 --> 01:23:19,869 I had a wonderful voice. 1104 01:23:20,037 --> 01:23:22,164 I heard you the other day in the shower. 1105 01:23:23,832 --> 01:23:25,505 You still sound beautiful to me. 1106 01:23:26,460 --> 01:23:29,304 It would be good to sing in front of an audience again. 1107 01:23:29,462 --> 01:23:32,591 - I could probably move on after that. - Right, so do it. 1108 01:23:34,885 --> 01:23:36,728 I just can't bear to be humiliated. 1109 01:23:36,886 --> 01:23:40,060 - Not again. - You won't. You won't be humiliated. 1110 01:23:41,390 --> 01:23:43,519 - Toss a coin. - What? 1111 01:23:43,685 --> 01:23:47,860 Toss a coin. Heads, I press "send," tails, we forget all about it. 1112 01:23:48,023 --> 01:23:49,820 Right. 1113 01:24:00,661 --> 01:24:02,708 (GASPS) 1114 01:24:02,871 --> 01:24:04,463 Oh, my...! 1115 01:24:04,997 --> 01:24:08,297 - I can't believe you just did that. - What are you gonna sing? 1116 01:24:08,460 --> 01:24:10,462 (PAUL HUMMING) 1117 01:24:17,135 --> 01:24:18,853 How long's it been? 1118 01:24:19,011 --> 01:24:22,185 - Nearly two years. - Hm. I'd have guessed longer. 1119 01:24:22,890 --> 01:24:25,860 (SINGING IN ITALIAN) 1120 01:24:31,524 --> 01:24:33,993 (DOG WHIMPERING) 1121 01:24:38,198 --> 01:24:40,792 (SINGING IN ITALIAN) 1122 01:24:51,752 --> 01:24:54,176 (GROANING) 1123 01:24:56,425 --> 01:24:59,429 - Sorry. - Thank you. 1124 01:25:00,720 --> 01:25:02,722 Yes, please? 1125 01:25:02,889 --> 01:25:05,233 (HUMMING) 1126 01:25:17,154 --> 01:25:19,953 (HUMMING) 1127 01:25:20,114 --> 01:25:22,743 (PHONE RINGING) 1128 01:25:27,622 --> 01:25:29,921 - Hi. - They said yes! 1129 01:25:30,082 --> 01:25:33,256 - (PAUL) What? - Britain's Got Talent, they said yes! 1130 01:25:33,420 --> 01:25:35,467 They want you to audition this Saturday. 1131 01:25:35,796 --> 01:25:37,890 Babe, they want you to sing! 1132 01:25:43,095 --> 01:25:44,564 Bugger. 1133 01:25:51,896 --> 01:25:54,149 (ALARM RINGING) 1134 01:26:00,154 --> 01:26:02,498 How are you feeling, then? 1135 01:26:02,658 --> 01:26:04,581 Like I shouldn't be doing this. 1136 01:26:04,743 --> 01:26:06,837 Come on, you'll be great. 1137 01:26:07,037 --> 01:26:10,541 Something bad's gonna happen. It always does to me. 1138 01:26:12,083 --> 01:26:14,256 (PAUL SIGHS) 1139 01:26:23,052 --> 01:26:25,225 Hello and welcome to Britain's Got Talent, 1140 01:26:25,389 --> 01:26:27,938 the show that finds Britain's brightest new acts 1141 01:26:28,100 --> 01:26:30,569 and changes their life forever. 1142 01:26:31,310 --> 01:26:34,564 Heading up the judging panel is Mr Simon Cowell. 1143 01:26:34,730 --> 01:26:38,655 DEC: Actress Amanda Holden is one of the country's most loved actresses. 1144 01:26:38,819 --> 01:26:40,420 (ASSISTANT) Complete cock-up, I'm afraid. 1145 01:26:40,487 --> 01:26:43,239 Simon tossed three acts, everything's been bumped up. 1146 01:26:43,407 --> 01:26:45,079 Long as I've got time to warm up. 1147 01:26:45,242 --> 01:26:47,210 - How long do you need? - Ten minutes. 1148 01:26:47,368 --> 01:26:49,212 Take away five and you're perfect. 1149 01:26:49,371 --> 01:26:51,873 - I'm on in five minutes? - Four and a half. 1150 01:26:52,039 --> 01:26:54,007 These should take you to your seats. 1151 01:26:54,167 --> 01:26:57,091 Follow us down the hall and up the stairs. Come on. 1152 01:26:57,253 --> 01:26:59,756 - This was a mistake. - You can warm up in five. 1153 01:26:59,922 --> 01:27:02,801 - I haven't got enough time. - We may have a problem. 1154 01:27:02,967 --> 01:27:05,938 We don't have a problem. He can warm up in four minutes. 1155 01:27:06,095 --> 01:27:08,439 He was born screaming at the top of his lungs 1156 01:27:08,597 --> 01:27:10,850 and shattered half the windows in Wales. 1157 01:27:11,016 --> 01:27:15,613 I hardly think now, when he's been asked to perform again, is the time to go silent. 1158 01:27:15,771 --> 01:27:17,444 I think we're gonna be OK. 1159 01:27:17,606 --> 01:27:21,202 - It's been proved I'm not good enough. - Proved by who, Pavarotti? 1160 01:27:21,360 --> 01:27:22,988 - Yeah. - That was ages ago. 1161 01:27:23,154 --> 01:27:25,828 This is it. This is your chance. 1162 01:27:25,990 --> 01:27:28,163 - Four minutes, yes or no? - Yes! 1163 01:27:28,993 --> 01:27:32,840 (PAUL) I'm really not ready. I honestly need more time than this. 1164 01:27:32,997 --> 01:27:34,750 (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 1165 01:27:34,916 --> 01:27:38,295 - Hello. What's your name? - I'm Michelle. These are my children. 1166 01:27:38,462 --> 01:27:41,681 Just get your puckered old bum to a telly. Do you hear me? 1167 01:27:41,840 --> 01:27:43,307 (SIGHS) 1168 01:27:43,466 --> 01:27:45,140 Honestly. 1169 01:27:45,301 --> 01:27:48,726 If he wasn't such an exquisite lover, I'd have to leave the man. 1170 01:27:48,889 --> 01:27:51,438 (MRS BUNCLE SINGING INDISTINCTLY) 1171 01:27:51,682 --> 01:27:55,563 Doe, a deer, a female deer Ray, a drop of golden sun 1172 01:27:55,729 --> 01:27:57,605 - (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) - (BUZZERS RINGING) 1173 01:27:57,773 --> 01:28:00,652 Me, a name I call myself 1174 01:28:01,650 --> 01:28:05,372 You look happy, Mrs Buncle. They look completely miserable. 1175 01:28:05,529 --> 01:28:07,372 The singing was terrible. 1176 01:28:07,532 --> 01:28:11,287 - Can we make it their last performance? - I can't do this. 1177 01:28:13,078 --> 01:28:15,672 He didn't have to be that cruel, but he was right. 1178 01:28:15,832 --> 01:28:19,462 - (SIMON) I surrender. - You couldn't smile just once? 1179 01:28:20,212 --> 01:28:23,055 - Wouldn't wanna follow that. - Thanks. 1180 01:28:23,256 --> 01:28:25,350 I think Paul's next. 1181 01:28:25,509 --> 01:28:26,851 Oh, dear. 1182 01:28:27,010 --> 01:28:30,890 DEC: For the next contestant, the world of show biz seems a million miles away. 1183 01:28:31,597 --> 01:28:35,193 It's Paul, a mobile phone salesman from South Wales. 1184 01:28:35,351 --> 01:28:37,570 (PAUL) By day I sell mobile phones, 1185 01:28:37,729 --> 01:28:41,609 but my dream is to spend my life doing what I feel I was born to do. 1186 01:28:41,774 --> 01:28:43,573 Juggling pies. 1187 01:28:43,734 --> 01:28:46,238 (PAUL) I've always wanted a singing career. 1188 01:28:46,570 --> 01:28:48,323 You gotta see this. 1189 01:28:49,240 --> 01:28:51,538 (BRADDON) Holy crap, Pottsy. 1190 01:28:52,828 --> 01:28:54,375 (PAUL) Confidence is... 1191 01:28:55,121 --> 01:28:57,293 Has always been a difficult thing for me. 1192 01:28:57,457 --> 01:29:00,586 I always find it difficult to be confident in myself. 1193 01:29:01,002 --> 01:29:03,003 - I get nervous. - Oh, gosh. 1194 01:29:03,171 --> 01:29:06,640 Every time I have to sing in front of anyone, it's... 1195 01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:09,052 Nerves have got the best of me in the past. 1196 01:29:09,219 --> 01:29:11,721 I wish I didn't have them if I'm honest. 1197 01:29:11,887 --> 01:29:15,768 But the truth is, I've never felt more nervous than I am today. 1198 01:29:20,313 --> 01:29:22,565 Right, you're on. 1199 01:29:22,731 --> 01:29:24,826 (AUDIENCE CLAPPING) 1200 01:29:24,984 --> 01:29:27,078 You're on. 1201 01:29:30,364 --> 01:29:32,207 One foot and then the other. 1202 01:29:32,367 --> 01:29:34,961 (AMANDA) Don't hold much hope for this. 1203 01:29:35,287 --> 01:29:38,291 (AUDIENCE MURMURING AND LAUGHING) 1204 01:29:44,796 --> 01:29:46,422 Good afternoon, I'm Paul. 1205 01:29:46,590 --> 01:29:48,809 Paul. What are you here for today, Paul? 1206 01:29:50,801 --> 01:29:52,679 To sing opera. 1207 01:29:52,845 --> 01:29:55,439 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND JEERING) 1208 01:30:03,689 --> 01:30:05,988 OK, ready when you are. 1209 01:30:17,244 --> 01:30:20,418 (PUCCINI'S NESSUN DORMA) 1210 01:30:29,632 --> 01:30:32,261 (SINGING IN ITALIAN) 1211 01:30:48,150 --> 01:30:50,949 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1212 01:31:35,030 --> 01:31:37,328 - (CHEERING) - (WHISTLING) 1213 01:32:09,565 --> 01:32:12,661 - So, you work at Carphone Warehouse, - (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 1214 01:32:12,819 --> 01:32:14,162 and you did that. 1215 01:32:14,319 --> 01:32:16,948 - I wasn't expecting that. - (AMANDA) Neither was I. 1216 01:32:17,239 --> 01:32:19,537 This was a complete breath of fresh air. 1217 01:32:19,701 --> 01:32:21,748 I thought you were absolutely fantastic. 1218 01:32:21,911 --> 01:32:24,413 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1219 01:32:25,664 --> 01:32:28,838 (PIERS) You have an incredible voice. 1220 01:32:29,085 --> 01:32:31,087 I think if you keep singing like that, 1221 01:32:31,253 --> 01:32:35,384 you are gonna be one of the favourites to win this whole competition. 1222 01:32:38,052 --> 01:32:42,274 (AMANDA) I think that we've got a case of a little lump of coal here 1223 01:32:42,431 --> 01:32:44,685 that's gonna turn into a diamond. 1224 01:32:44,850 --> 01:32:46,944 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1225 01:32:47,103 --> 01:32:49,525 OK, moment of truth, young man. 1226 01:32:49,689 --> 01:32:53,158 - Piers? - Absolutely, yes. 1227 01:32:56,445 --> 01:32:58,163 - (SIMON) Amanda? - Yes. 1228 01:32:59,823 --> 01:33:03,043 Paul, you are through to the next round. Congratulations. 1229 01:33:03,828 --> 01:33:05,546 Thank you. 1230 01:33:05,704 --> 01:33:08,048 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1231 01:33:08,207 --> 01:33:10,301 (LAUGHING) 1232 01:33:17,091 --> 01:33:19,310 - That was really good. Well done. - (LAUGHING) 1233 01:33:19,511 --> 01:33:21,934 Well done, son! (LAUGHING) 1234 01:33:22,096 --> 01:33:23,644 Bloody wonderful. 1235 01:33:28,685 --> 01:33:31,314 (PAUL CRYING) 1236 01:33:32,856 --> 01:33:34,984 You're all right. 1237 01:33:41,365 --> 01:33:43,868 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1238 01:33:46,121 --> 01:33:50,216 What kind of poof sings opera? Not exactly a chip off the old block, is he? 1239 01:33:50,375 --> 01:33:53,345 - A bicycle chain? - Well, it was only kids, like. 1240 01:33:55,255 --> 01:33:57,052 (MATTHEW GRUNTS) 1241 01:33:58,298 --> 01:34:01,177 - Get him out of my sight. - (MAN) Not laughing anymore. 1242 01:34:01,344 --> 01:34:04,268 Come on, boys, the drinks are on me. 1243 01:34:09,226 --> 01:34:13,152 (PAUL) As it turns out, I made it to the semi-final and the final. 1244 01:34:13,355 --> 01:34:17,077 And the judges were right. I did go on to win Britain's Got Talent. 1245 01:34:17,443 --> 01:34:21,448 And in the hectic weeks and months that followed, I recorded my first album, 1246 01:34:21,613 --> 01:34:26,039 went on my first record tour, and was even invited to sing for the queen, 1247 01:34:26,202 --> 01:34:29,296 which allowed us to pay off our debts and still have enough 1248 01:34:29,454 --> 01:34:33,585 to buy a nice little house back in Port Talbot, where Julz and I still live. 1249 01:34:34,502 --> 01:34:37,095 (ROLAND) Here you go. Freshly pressed. 1250 01:34:37,255 --> 01:34:38,801 Thanks. 1251 01:34:41,634 --> 01:34:45,137 There's, uh, something I want to tell you. 1252 01:34:46,680 --> 01:34:50,105 I know I haven't always been the best of fathers. 1253 01:34:50,268 --> 01:34:54,819 - Dad, you don't have to say... - Shut up, let me do the singing for once. 1254 01:34:56,149 --> 01:35:00,404 The only real measure of a father's success 1255 01:35:00,569 --> 01:35:03,914 is by how far his children end up surpassing him in life. 1256 01:35:06,326 --> 01:35:08,203 And you, 1257 01:35:08,994 --> 01:35:11,965 you can be very, very proud of yourself. 1258 01:35:13,082 --> 01:35:16,837 Come on, you two. We'll keep the queen waiting. 1259 01:35:21,173 --> 01:35:24,144 (MAN) And now, from the Royal Albert Hall, 1260 01:35:24,301 --> 01:35:26,770 the winner of Britain's Got Talent 1261 01:35:26,930 --> 01:35:30,479 in his first performance for Her Majesty the queen. 1262 01:35:30,641 --> 01:35:33,270 An extraordinary singer whose first album 1263 01:35:33,435 --> 01:35:37,565 has already sold over two million copies and reached number one... 1264 01:35:37,731 --> 01:35:40,576 - You nervous? - Always. 1265 01:35:42,069 --> 01:35:45,243 Hey, one foot, then the other. 1266 01:35:47,867 --> 01:35:50,996 - Go on. - (MAN) Ladies and gentlemen, 1267 01:35:51,162 --> 01:35:53,539 please give a warm welcome 1268 01:35:53,706 --> 01:35:57,085 to Mr Paul Potts. 1269 01:35:59,253 --> 01:36:03,384 (PAUL) The truth is, I'm still just that little boy from Wales who wanted to sing, 1270 01:36:03,966 --> 01:36:06,310 though I was persuaded to get a new haircut, 1271 01:36:06,469 --> 01:36:08,095 buy some new clothes, 1272 01:36:08,262 --> 01:36:11,641 and, oh, yeah, make one other small change. 1273 01:36:11,807 --> 01:36:14,527 (AUDIENCE CLAPPING) 1274 01:36:20,524 --> 01:36:24,779 In the years since then, Julz and I have travelled together all over the world. 1275 01:36:26,780 --> 01:36:30,411 But there's one special place I always wanted her to see. 1276 01:36:34,413 --> 01:36:37,019 You've gotta feed the birds for good luck. 1277 01:36:37,045 --> 01:36:38,739 Can we get any luckier? 1278 01:36:41,378 --> 01:36:43,301 So, there it is. 1279 01:36:43,715 --> 01:36:46,092 The whole story. 1280 01:36:47,092 --> 01:36:49,595 The opera of my life. 1281 01:36:53,307 --> 01:36:55,605 Not a bad one, is it? 100690

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