Original subtitles

( MUSIC PLAYING )

* CAN YOU HEAR

* THE ROAD FROM THIS PLACE *

* CAN YOU HEAR FOOTSTEPS?

* VOICES?

* CAN YOU SEE

* THE BLOOD ON MY SLEEVE? *

* I'VE FALLEN IN THE FOREST

* DID YOU HEAR ME?

* IN THE LONELINESS

* OH, THE LONELINESS

* AND THE SCREAM TO PROVE TO EVERYONE *

* THAT I EXIST

* IN THE LONELINESS

* OH, THE LONELINESS

* AND THE SCREAM TO BRING THE BLOOD *

* TO THE FRONT OF MY FACE AGAIN *

* AM I HERE?

* OF COURSE I AM, YES

* ALL I NEED IS YOUR HELP TO DRIVE ME OUT AGAIN *

* WASN'T ME

* I DIDN'T DIG THIS DITCH

* I WAS WALKING FOR WEEKS

* BEFORE I FELL IN

* TO THE LONELINESS

* OH, THE LONELINESS

* AND THE SCREAM TO PROVE TO EVERYONE *

* THAT I EXIST

* IN THE LONELINESS

* OH, THE LONELINESS

* AND THE SCREAM TO FILL THE THOUSAND BLACK *

* BALLOONS WITH AIR

OH!

OH, LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S ALL DRESSED UP AND READY TO GO.

- THAT'S ME. - AND ME.

HEY, HOW'D YOUR MEETING GO YESTERDAY?

- WHAT MEETING? - YOU KNOW, THE ONE WITH THE CLIENT.

- WHAT CLIENT? - YOU KNOW, THE ONE WITH THE OFFICE,

THE STORE, THE... FABRIC THING.

OH, RIGHT, YEAH, YOU MEAN THE MEETING I HAVE LATER TODAY.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT. I'M SORRY, THAT'S WHAT I MEANT.

HOW'D YOUR MEETING GO LATER TODAY?

YOU ARE... AN I-D-I-O-T.

IDIOT!

ARE YOU TURNING MY OWN SON AGAINST ME?

- HOW DARE YOU? - I DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

IS THE OTHER ONE UP YET?

NO, BUT HE WILL BE AS SOON AS THE TOAST POPS UP.

AH, GOOD MORNING, ALBRIGHT FAMILY.

GOOD MORNING, TYLER.

OH, YOU LOOK GOOD TODAY.

- REALLY? - NO, NOT AT ALL.

THANKS.

HEY, YOU MUST BE SUPER EXCITED

ABOUT THAT BIG CLIENT MEETING TODAY, HUH?

YES, I AM, TYLER, I'M VERY EXCITED

ABOUT MY MEETING LATER TODAY.

JUSTIN'S BEING, UH, DIFFICULT THIS MORNING.

- OH. - IDIOT.

CRUSTS.

YEAH, MICHELLE, CRUSTS.

- SORRY, SORRY. - ( CLEARS THROAT )

- CRUSTS. CRUSTS. - SERIOUSLY, MAN?

( CLEARS THROAT )

( CLEARS THROAT INSISTENTLY )

( CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY )

- YOU NEED WATER OR SOMETHING? - YES, I DO. I'M THIRSTY.

OH, GOOD, COULD YOU GET ME SOME, TOO?

( LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY )

OKAY, LUCAS, EAT UP, WE GOTTA GET YOU OFF TO SCHOOL, BUDDY.

- I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL. - I KNOW, BUT THAT'S NOT THE WAY IT WORKS, BUDDY.

- LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER. - I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL.

( DEEP VOICE ) LUCAS, HE IS YOUR FATHER.

SEARCH YOUR FEELINGS. YOU KNOW IT TO BE TRUE.

WAS THAT-- WAS THAT MORGAN FREEMAN?

THAT WAS A GREAT MORGAN FREEMAN.

- DARTH VADER. - DARTH VADER, MAN. I'M DOING DARTH VADER.

NO, I DIDN'T GET THAT AT ALL.

- DID YOU GET THAT? - SOUNDED LIKE MORGAN FREEMAN.

OKAY. THAT'S GREAT.

UM...

SO, W-WHAT ARE YOUR--

WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR TODAY?

PLANS? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

LIKE, AN AGENDA?

OH, OH, YEAH, I GOT A LOT OF STUFF GOING ON TODAY.

I'M GOING TO WATCH "DEADLIEST CATCH" MARATHON

ON DISCOVERY OR MAYBE ONE OF THOSE PAWNSHOP SHOWS.

OH, THOSE ARE GREAT.

YEAH, SEE HOW THE OTHER HALF'S LIVING.

NO, I WAS TALKING ABOUT OUTSIDE.

OH, OUTSIDE. OH.

HEAVENS NO. ( LAUGHS )

OUTSIDE, THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S FUNNY. OUTSIDE, THAT'S GOOD.

( SIGHS )

LATER, SKATER.

TA-TA.

AU REVOIR.

ADIOS, MUCHACHO.

( SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE )

STUPID BITCH.

HEY, TYLER!

WHAT?

YOU HUNGRY?

YEAH, SURE.

WERE YOU ASLEEP?

UH, KIND OF, YEAH, IT WAS LIKE--

IT WAS LIKE I WAS AWAKE, BUT I WAS DREAMING.

- YOU KNOW, IT WAS WEIRD. - WHAT WAS THE DREAM?

I DON'T KNOW. DON'T REALLY REMEMBER.

I WAS ON A BUS.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO, BUT, UM...

- YOU KNOW WHO WAS THERE? - OF COURSE.

YEAH, THAT WAS THE WEIRD THING.

I MEAN SHE WOULD NEVER TAKE THE BUS.

NO, I DON'T THINK SHE WOULD.

SO LISTEN, DUDE.

MAYBE IT'S TIME TO GET STARTED AGAIN.

START WHAT?

STARTED ANYTHING. STARTED DOING.

YOU CAN'T JUST LIE AROUND ON THE COUCH

ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, RIGHT?

I DO STUFF.

I'VE BEEN READING THAT "COSMO" THERE.

YOU KNOW THERE ARE 14 DIFFERENT THINGS A WOMAN CAN DO

WITH HER INDEX FINGER TO SAVE HER MARRIAGE?

- THAT IS IMPORTANT. - YEAH, IT'S BIG STUFF.

I KNOW THAT IT HAS BEEN TOUGH SINCE JE--

SINCE SHE LEFT, BUT IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON.

YOU GOTTA GO OUT. YOU NEED TO GET A JOB.

AND WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR FACE, MAN?

IS THAT LIKE FUNGUS OR BEARD OR WHAT?

THIS? IT'S MY NEW LOOK.

IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT.

LIKE ACTUAL FECES IS SMEARED ON YOUR FACE.

SO THEN... YOU DON'T LIKE IT?

NO. NOBODY DOES ANYWHERE.

LOOK, I WORK, YOU KNOW? I MAKE MONEY.

NO, CHECKING YOUR STOCKS FOR 15 MINUTES A DAY,

THAT'S NOT A JOB.

THAT'S NOT WORK. IT'S LIKE THUMB ACTION.

- I DON'T WANNA WORK. - YOU SOUND LIKE LUCAS.

I DON'T WANNA WORK. ( CHUCKLES )

OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY.

MAYBE YOU COULD JUST, UH... START SLOW?

YOU KNOW, BABY STEPS.

TAKE THE TRASH CANS OUT TO THE STREET,

OR YOU COULD WASH YOUR CAR, GO RAKE THE LEAVES.

DON'T YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE STAFF OF PEOPLE TO DO THAT?

I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF HOTEL IS THIS ANYWAY?

THIS AIN'T NO HOTEL, BABY.

ALL RIGHT, I GET IT. I GET IT.

- DO YOU? - NOT AT ALL.

YOU'RE THE WORST.

- YOU'RE THE BEST. - OKAY.

CAREFUL WITH THAT SINK. THE FAUCET'S STILL BROKEN.

I KNOW!

( WATER SPRAYS )

CRAP.

( CHUCKLES ) YOU OKAY, HONEY?

STUPID FAUCET!

Lucas: KNOCK, KNOCK!

Justin: OH, HEY, BUDDY.

HI, DADDY.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

NOTHING. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

OH, YOUR MOM AND I ARE JUST CHATTING.

BORING!

I'M GONNA GO PLAY IN MY ROOM.

- WAS THAT TYLER? - NO, IT WAS LUCAS.

HE JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WE WERE UP TO.

- OH, WHAT A SWEETIE. - YEAH, I GUESS.

I TRIED TO TALK TO HIM TODAY.

- WHO? LUCAS? - NO, TYLER.

OH. HOW'D THAT GO?

( SIGHS ) IT WAS HORRIBLE.

I FEEL LIKE EVERY TIME I TRY TO SAY SOMETHING,

IT JUST MAKES THINGS WORSE.

OH, I'M SURE THAT'S NOT TRUE.

I'M SURE IT IS TRUE.

I MEAN, I'M TRYING TO HELP HIM, BUT--

LOOK, WE NEED TO JUST KEEP BEING THERE FOR HIM.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO HIM.

- OOH, YIKES. ME. NO! - HE'S YOUR FRIEND. HE'S YOUR FRIEND.

WELL, YEAH, HE'S OUR FRIEND, AND IT'S NOT GONNA DO ANYBODY

ANY GOOD FOR ME TO CHAT WITH HIM.

I KNOW, BUT IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS.

BABE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF YOU LEFT ME.

OH, YOU CUTIE.

BUT WHEN HE DOES LEAVE,

WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH THAT GUEST ROOM.

- ANYTHING, ANYTHING ELSE. - ANYTHING ELSE.

LIKE A CRAFT ROOM OR-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT ARE YOU-- I'M... STARTING.

NOT WITH A GUEST IN THE HOUSE. ARE YOU CRAZY?

I KNOW BUT... I'M ALREADY GETTING FILLED UP.

GROSS, GROSS.

IT'S NOT GROSS. I JUST LOVE YOU.

( SIGHS ) TWO MONTHS IS A LONG TIME.

Lucas: KNOCK, KNOCK!

COME IN.

HEY, BUDDY.

OH, HEY, BUDDY. WHAT'S UP?

ARE YOU SAD?

NO, MAN, NO, I'M NOT SAD. WHY WOULD YOU THINK I'M SAD?

MY MOMMY SAID YOU'RE SAD.

OH. MOMMY SAID THIS TO YOU?

NO, DADDY.

( CHUCKLES ) REALLY?

AND WHEN DID MOMMY SAY THIS TO DADDY?

ALWAYS.

DID MOMMY EVER SAY ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT ME?

SHE SAID YOUR FACE HAS S-H-I-T ON IT.

( CHUCKLES )

YEAH, WELL, THAT'S FAIR. I'LL GIVE HER THAT.

- BUT NO, MAN, I'M NOT SAD. - OKAY.

BUT, YOU KNOW, BUDDY,

SOMETIMES IN LIFE,

THINGS DON'T GO THE WAY THAT YOU WANT.

OH, THEY'RE GREAT FOR A WHILE,

MAYBE TOO GREAT, YOU KNOW?

AND THEN LIKE A SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE GUT,

EVERYTHING GOES TO S-H-I-T.

DO YOU EVER HAVE A TOY, A TOY THAT YOU LOVED SO MUCH

AND YOU PLAYED WITH EVERY DAY?

THEN ONE DAY,

THE TOY KICKS YOU OUT OF THE APARTMENT

BECAUSE THE TOY THINKS YOU NEED TO GET A BETTER JOB.

BUT YOU THINK YOUR JOB'S JUST FINE.

THE TOY MAKES COMMENTS ABOUT YOUR ABILITIES AS A MAN.

NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO KEEP EVERYTHING

FROM FALLING APART, IT'S OUT OF YOUR HANDS.

AND THE MISTAKES THAT YOU MADE AT THE TIME

THAT YOU THOUGHT WERE NO BIG DEAL, NO BIG DEAL,

THEY TURN OUT TO BE THE SEEDS OF YOUR FUTURE RUIN.

AND DESPAIR.

DON'T WORRY, BUDDY.

THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR YOU.

WHAT AN ASSHOLE.

HEY, TYLER, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO, UM--

START WITH SOMETHING SMALL.

GET YOUR FEET WET.

GET YOUR FEET WET.

( CAR HORN BEEPS )

HEY, BRO.

IS THAT YOUR CAR?

YOU TALKING TO ME?

OH, THAT DEPENDS, BRO.

I MEAN, IS THAT YOUR CAR?

YEAH, SURE.

TWO MONTHS, BRO.

TWO MONTHS WHAT?

TWO MONTHS YOU'VE BEEN PARKED IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE, BRO.

( SIGHS ) IT'S NOT COOL.

OH, SORRY.

YOU DON'T SOUND REAL SORRY, BRO.

YEAH, I'M NOT REALLY.

I MEAN, IT'S A PUBLIC STREET... BRO.

HEY, ARE YOU SOME KIND OF LAWYER OR SOMETHING?

I LIKE YOU, BRO.

THAT'S... GREAT. SURE.

HEY. I'M PRETTY BAKED RIGHT NOW.

YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL.

WAIT.

ARE YOU THAT RETARD JUSTIN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT?

NO, MAN. I'M NOT A RETARD.

OH, SORRY, BRO.

NO, I MEAN...

THEY CALL IT CALLING YOU SPECIAL-NEEDS-AMERICAN.

YEAH, THAT'S-- THAT'S NOT A THING.

AND, NO, I'M NOT.

I'M PRETTY SURE YOU ARE, BRO.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, THE ROBE AND THE SLOW TALKING.

LOOK, I FEEL LIKE THIS IS SOMETHING

THAT I WOULD KNOW ABOUT.

( LAUGHS ) THAT'S FUNNY.

HOW WOULD A RETARD--

A SPECIAL-NEEDS-AMERICAN DUDE KNOW

THAT HE'S A SPECIAL-NEEDS-AMERICAN DUDE?

THAT'S FUNNY. YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, BRO.

YEAH, I AM NOT-- THANKS.

MY NAME'S TYLER.

WELL, I'M BRODY, BRO.

BRO-- YOUR NAME'S BRODY?

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT, BRO.

ALL RIGHT, BRODY, I'LL SEE YOU AROUND, MAN.

SWEET, HEY, HEY, MAYBE SOME TIME YOU AND ME,

WE COULD... FIRE UP A BONG,

YOU KNOW, AND GET A PIZZA?

YEAH.

OH, HEY, AND I GOT A POOL, TOO, BRO.

SO IF YOU CAN GET PERMISSION, YOU CAN COME OVER,

WE CAN, YOU KNOW, TAKE A DIP.

I DON'T NEED PERMISSION.

YES, I LOVE THAT DUDE.

OH, GOD, IT'S LIKE MY NEW BEST FRIEND, YES.

MM, IT'S A GOOD DAY.

YOU KNOW IT'S ME CALLING. WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?

ANSWER THAT GOD DAMN PHONE

OR WE'RE GETTING A GOD DAMN DIVORCE.

HEY, BABE.

UM... TYLER WENT OUTSIDE.

( LAUGHS ) NO, SERIOUSLY.

HE TOOK THE TRASH OUT,

AND THEN I THINK HE ACTUALLY TALKED TO BRODY.

I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.

YEAH, I'M WEARING PANTIES, WHY?

OKAY, GOOD, OKAY, SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

- ( KNOCK ON DOOR ) - OKAY, BYE.

- ( DOOR OPENS ) - OH, HEY.

HEY.

HEY, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT

GOING OUT FOR A LITTLE BIT.

OUT?

YEAH.

OUT, OUT?

YEAH, YEAH, I WAS JUST GOING TO CHECK OUT

THAT CAFE THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT,

THE ONE ON MORGAN STREET.

SO, JUST, YOU KNOW, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,

DO YOU WANT ME TO GET YOU SOMETHING?

NO, NO, NO, NO. I'M FINE.

YEAH, NO. OKAY, GREAT.

I MEAN, YOU LOOK FINE, SO--

- I'M HERE WITH MY SWATCHES. - COOL.

WELL, JUST KEEP WORKING AND, YOU KNOW,

TEXT ME IF YOU NEED SOMETHING.

I'M GONNA-- I'M TOTALLY GONNA TEXT YOU.

YEAH, YOU GOT YOUR PHONE SO YOU CAN--

YEP, TEXT BACK AND FORTH.

OKAY, GREAT. I'LL SEE YOU.

MM-HMM.

( MUSIC PLAYING )

* HE'S GOT ALL THE THINGS A CRIPPLE HAS NOT *

* TWO WORKING ARMS AND LEGS

* AND VITAL PARTS FALL FROM HIS SYSTEM... *

BRO!

HEY, BRO.

LATER, BRO.

TOTALLY, BRO.

* VITALLY, HE DOESN'T MISS THEM *

* HE'S TOO FUCKED UP TO CARE *

* WELL, IS THAT YOU IN FRONT OF ME? *

* COMING BACK FOR EVEN MORE

* OF EXACTLY THE SAME

* YOU MUST BE A MASOCHIST

* TO LOVE A MODERN LEPER ON HIS LAST LEG *

* ON HIS LAST LEG

( SONG FADES )

SHE'S IN THE BACK.

OH, THANKS.

I'LL JUST WAIT HERE.

MAYBE JUST GO BACK THERE.

YEAH, MAYBE I WILL. THANK YOU.

- SLOW DOWN THERE, TIGER. I'M COMING. - OH, SORRY.

- YOU KNOW, I CAN JUST GRAB A SEAT FOR MYSELF. - UGH! NO!

WHAT DOES THE SIGN SAY?

UH, "PLEASE WAIT TO BE SEATED."

YES, AND WE'RE BOTH CLEAR ON WHAT THOSE WORDS MEAN

INDIVIDUALLY AND AS A WHOLE?

- YEAH. - GREAT.

- THERE YOU GO. - THANKS.

I'LL CHECK ON YOU IN A FEW MINUTES.

GREAT.

( SIGHS ) I SHOULD HAVE NEVER COME OUT.

WELL, SHE WAS PRETTY HORRIBLE.

( CHUCKLES ) RIGHT? IT WASN'T ON ME, WAS IT?

OH, NO, NO. NO, NO.

OKAY.

SO-- ( CLEARS THROAT ) SO DO YOU, UH--

DO YOU EAT FOOD OFTEN HERE?

YEAH, SORRY.

WHAT DO YOU-- WHAT DO YOU LIKE HERE?

UH, CAN'T GO WRONG WITH THE REUBEN

OR A CLUB SANDWICH.

OH, YEAH, THE FIRE AND ICE OF SATISFACTORY LUNCHES.

YOU'RE WEIRD.

YES, I AM.

YES, I AM.

WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

OH, YEAH, I'LL JUST HAVE ICED LATTE AND A CLUB.

ICED LATTE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

FORGET THE CLUB. I'LL DO THE REUBEN.

YOU SURE?

YEAH, YEAH. REUBEN.

REUBEN IT IS. OKAY.

SOME HESITATION THERE, BUT A NICE RECOVERY.

I DON'T KNOW, IS IT JUST ME,

OR IS SHE KIND OF INTO ME A LITTLE BIT?

NOT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT.

I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

I FELT A LITTLE VIBE THERE, A LITTLE TENSION.

YOU ARE TERRIBLE WITH WOMEN.

YES, I AM. YES, I AM.

SO ARE YOU FROM AROUND HERE?

UH, WELL, SORTA.

I'M JUST STAYING AT A FRIEND'S PLACE RIGHT NOW.

MM, LIKE A VACATION.

MM, NO, MORE LIKE A SABBATICAL.

BIG RELIGIOUS GUY, HUH?

NO, NOT AT ALL.

IT'S JUST A BETTER WAY TO DESCRIBE MY SITUATION.

BETTER.

BETTER LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE IT SOUND

LIKE YOU'RE NOT GOOFING OFF ON A VACATION?

EXACTLY.

BUT TRY NOT TO TELL EVERYBODY IN HERE.

SO WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?

WELL... I WAS LIVING IN THE CITY.

MM. NITTY-GRITTY CITY.

AND THEN, UH-HUH-- ( GROANS )

- ( GROANS ) - UH-HUH.

DOESN'T SOUND SO GOOD.

NOT GOOD AT ALL.

LIFE GOES ON, RIGHT?

DOES HAVE A WAY WAY OF DOING THAT.

I'M KATY.

TYLER.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

YOU SAY THAT NOW.

THAT'S USUALLY MY LINE.

OH, I ACTUALLY HAVE TO GET GOING.

OH. OKAY, COOL, UH--

SHOULD I GET YOUR NUMBER OR EMAIL

OR TWITTER OR SOMETHING?

SHOULD YOU--

YEAH, PROBABLY.

CAN I CALL YOU?

CAN YOU? ARE YOU ABLE TO CALL ME?

HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT?

WHAT, ARE YOU 12 YEARS OLD?

WHY? ARE YOU INTO 12-YEAR-OLDS? YOU PERVERT.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. MAY I HAVE YOUR NUMBER?

THERE YOU GO.

YEAH, BUT NO. NOT AT ALL. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

YOU FEEL LIKE A SERIAL KILLER, LIKE THAT GUY.

I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER. PERVERT MAYBE.

MM, MUCH BETTER.

OKAY. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I REALLY LIKE TO EAT HERE.

AND I'M USUALLY HERE AT THIS TIME.

SO WHY DON'T WE USE THAT INFO AS YOU SEE FIT?

WELL, I PUT THAT INFORMATION TO MY DOSSIER.

BYE.

I WOULDN'T DO THAT. IF I WERE YOU.

- WHAT? - SLOW DOWN THERE, TIGER.

YEAH, YOU!

WHAT DOES THE SIGN SAY?! UGH!

- HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT? - HALF A PLATE FULL.

OKAY.

- HEY, MAN, NICE NO-ROBE. - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

LET'S NOT MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT.

- I'M NOT MAKING ANY BIG DEAL. - NOBODY-- NOBODY'S MAKING A BIG DEAL.

HEY, WHAT'S WITH TELLING CAPTAIN GANJA NEXT DOOR

THAT I'M A...

SERIOUSLY. JUSTIN.

I NEVER SAID "RETARDED." I SAID SPECIAL NEEDS.

OH, IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER?

I'M NOT THE BAD GUY HERE.

YOU LOOK A LOT LIKE THE BAD GUY.

I-D-I-O-T.

EXACTLY!

THANKS, BUDDY. ARE YOU FINISHED NOW?

LOOK, HE THREATENED TO TOW YOUR CAR, I IMPROVISED.

BY TELLING HIM I WAS RETARDED?

- IT WORKED. - THAT'S TRUE.

I THINK I'M JUST JEALOUS I DIDN'T THINK OF IT MYSELF.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

DO YOU WANT SOME? THERE'S PLENTY.

NO, I'M GOOD.

I'M ACTUALLY HEADING OUT WITH DEREK TONIGHT.

THAT'S-- THAT'S GREAT.

THAT'S SO CUTE. WE'RE GONNA SAVE SOME.

WE'RE GONNA PUT SOME-- PUT SOME IN THE FRIDGE FOR YOU.

YEAH, WE'LL GONNA PUT SOME IN THE FRIDGE!

NO, NO, DON'T ABOUT IT.

IT'S OKAY, GUYS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM.

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA CHANGE MY POSITION ON THE SAVING SOME FOR LATER.

JUST TAKE SOME OF THAT.

TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT.

YOU CAN HAVE THE WHOLE-- WE HAVE MORE BREAD IN THE BACK.

- SEE YOU GUYS, BYE. - WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU!

OW, MOTHER--

BUDDY! ( LAUGHS )

IT'S ABOUT BLOODY TIME, ASSHOLE! LET'S DO IT!

( MUSIC PLAYING )

( HORN HONKS )

* I CAN SEE A HURRICANE TONIGHT *

* IT KEEPS FROM MY VALENTINE *

* THIS VOODOO'S DOING ME HARM *

* WHOO, WHOO

* RAISE THE ALARM

* MAYBE

* THIS IS THE MOMENT TO PRAY, DEAR *

* BUT I'D RATHER LAY BY YOUR SIDE *

* 'CAUSE MILLIONS ARE FIGHTING THEIR WAY HERE *

* OH, OH, OH

* TELL ME

* WHEN DID THE WATER SURROUND ME? *

* AND TELL ME

* IS THAT LOVE IN YOUR EYES?

* OOH OOH

GOOD TIMES BUDDY! GOOD TIMES.

GREAT. GREAT TIMES.

- YOU GO AND SLEEP IT OFF, ASSHOLE. - OKAY.

* SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL GIRL

* SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL GIRL

- * SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL - ( TIRES SCREECH, CRASH )

WHAT?

( TIRES SCREECH )

* SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL GIRL

OH, COME ON.

TYLER?

HEY, GUYS.

OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU GUYS ARE UP.

TYLER? WHAT ARE YOU--

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, MAN?

NO, NO, IT'S COOL, MAN. IT'S COOL.

I WAS WALKING BY YOUR ROOM,

AND I THOUGHT, "HEY, I'M GONNA GO IN THERE

AND JUST LET YOU GUYS KNOW YOU ARE SO GREAT."

OKAY. YOU'RE GREAT. WE THINK --

- WE THINK YOU'RE GREAT, BUDDY. - WE THINK YOU'RE GREAT, TOO.

- YOU DO? - YEAH.

REALLY? THANKS, GUYS.

THAT MEANS A LOT COMING FROM YOU, SERIOUSLY.

I-- I LOVE YOU GUYS.

WE LOVE YOU TOO, MAN.

WE LOVE YOU TOO, BUDDY.

I'VE JUST BEEN SO--

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU KNOW?

- WE KNOW. WE KNOW. - WE KNOW.

AND I-- I'M READY TO CHANGE, YOU KNOW?

I WANT THINGS TO BE BETTER.

I DON'T WANT THEM TO BE HOW THEY ARE ANYMORE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

AND, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER YOU NEED,

- WE'RE HERE FOR YOU. - ABSOLUTELY.

THANK YOU. THANKS, GUYS.

YOU GUYS ARE GREAT. I THINK IT'S TIME FOR HUGS.

- OKAY. - THE HUG MONSTER'S COMING.

- OH, BOY. - HERE HE IS.

THE HUG MONSTER.

OH, THAT'S A LOT OF BEER.

OH, THE HUG MONSTER SEES YOU.

YOU GET A HUG. COME ON.

- OKAY. - THAT'S IT.

WHOA, THAT IS-- THAT IS A FERMENTED SMELL.

- SO SOFT. - YEAH.

- WOW. - YEAH.

SHE--

SHE REALLY HURT ME, YOU GUYS.

SHE-- SHE WAS NOT A NICE PERSON.

AND I JUST WANTED YOU GUYS TO KNOW THAT...

I DON'T KNOW HOW I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THROUGH IT

WITHOUT THE TWO OF YOU.

I'M GONNA GO TO BED.

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

- LOVE YOU TOO, TY. - LOVE YOU TOO, TY.

DO YOU THINK HE'S GONNA BE OKAY?

I DO. I DO, SWEETIE.

YEAH, BUT HE SEEMS SO-- SO JUST BROKEN.

I KNOW, I KNOW. IT'S HARD TO WATCH.

I JUST WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO OR SAY.

WELL, HE'S-- HE'S DOING BETTER.

( SNIFFLING ) OKAY. OKAY.

I JUST WANNA MURDER THAT BITCH RIGHT IN THE FACE.

OKAY, SWEETIE.

WELL, WE'LL WORK ON THAT IN THE MORNING.

- YOU PROMISE? - I PROMISE. I PROMISE.

- OKAY. - YEAH, LET'S GO BACK TO BED.

- OKAY. - OKAY.

NO!

( CAR HORN HONKS )

( COUGHS )

* I'M BARELY BREATHING NOW

* IT'S SO HIGH UP HERE, IT'S SO HIGH UP HERE *

* I CAN BARELY SEE THE GROUND

* IT'S SO HIGH UP HERE, IT'S SO HIGH UP HERE *

HEY, MICHELLE?

IS IT TOO LATE TO GET--

OH, HEY, ASSHOLE.

* I CAN BARELY SEE THE GROUND

* IT'S SO HIGH UP HERE, IT'S SO HIGH *

OKAY. OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

( KNOCK ON DOOR )

HEY, TYLER. HOW YOU DOING?

HEY.

HEY, LISTEN, SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT.

- GOT KIND OF WEIRD. - IT'S OKAY.

SO...

PROBABLY, UH, BREAKFAST TIME?

UH... WELL... A COUPLE OF THINGS.

NOT REALLY A RESTAURANT,

AND SECONDLY, IT'S AFTER NOON.

SO IF THIS WERE A RESTAURANT AND THERE WERE MENU,

WHICH THERE'S NOT,

THE BREAKFAST MENU WOULD PROBABLY BE DONE BY NOW.

NOON? WOW.

PRETTY ROUGH NIGHT, I GUESS.

WELL, PROBABLY ABOUT LUNCHTIME THEN, HUH?

YEP, TYLER, IT'S ABOUT LUNCHTIME.

( CHUCKLES ) THIS IS MY FAVORITE RESTAURANT.

OH, WAIT A MINUTE.

NOON-- NOON WHAT?

NOON 45.

OH, SHIT! SHIT!

WHAT?

WHAT'S UP?

I'M LATE.

OH, CRAP.

TIME?

UM, 12:54.

ROGER THAT.

( WHIRRING )

TIME?

UH, IT'S 12-- 12:58.

HEY, EYES UP HERE.

NO, NO, NO.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, I GOT MY CLOTHES ON.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

YOU-- YOU-- ( LAUGHS ) YOU LOOK GREAT.

THANKS.

I HARDLY RECOGNIZE YOU.

OH, WHAT TIME IS IT?

UM, 1:05.

I'M A LITTLE LATE, BUT I THINK I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

HAVE FUN WITH WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING.

COOL. I'LL SEE YOU.

OKAY.

LOOKING AT MY ASS, AREN'T YOU?

- NO. - MM-HMM.

( ENGINE STARTS )

( LAUGHS )

WHOO!

HEY, SLOW DOWN THERE, TIGER, I'M COMING.

OH, YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW, I'M JUST--

I'M ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR A FRIEND.

DOES YOUR FRIEND WORK HERE?

- NO. - SORRY.

SORRY ABOUT THAT. I'LL JUST--

NO, NO! NOT THERE, THERE.

OH.

I GET PAID TO DO THIS, COME ON.

- IT'S MY JOB. - THANK YOU.

IT'S MY LIFE. OKAY, LET'S GO.

- CHOP CHOP. - OH, UH, JUST A CLUB.

- GREAT. - YEAH.

CONGRATULATIONS. HOORAY!

- HI. - HEY.

ARE YOU STALKING ME?

OH, I MEAN, I GOT HERE FIRST, SO TECHNICALLY...

OH, WELL, WERE YOU WAITING FOR ME?

NO, NO, NO. JUST WAITING FOR A FRIEND.

- OH, OKAY, WELL, THEN I'LL GO. - NO, NO, NO, IT'S COOL.

I MEAN, I'D RATHER HANG OUT WITH YOU,

AND, YOU KNOW, HE PROBABLY WON'T BE HERE ANYWAY

BECAUSE... HE DOESN'T EXIST.

WELL, THEN I'LL STAY.

- OH, GREAT. HERE, PLEASE. - I LIKE YOUR NEW LOOK.

IT'S VERY DIFFERENT ON YOUR FACE.

- OH, OH, MY BEARD, YEAH, YEAH. - IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE CALLING IT?

ACTUALLY, IT WAS A DISGUISE.

IS THAT RIGHT? CASUAL HOMELESS.

YEAH, I WAS DEEP UNDERCOVER TRYING TO INFILTRATE

THE ALUMINUM CAN RECYCLING CARTEL.

OH, WELL, YOU DID A GREAT JOB BECAUSE YOU LOOKED TRULY AWFUL.

THAT'S THE SWEETEST THING ANYONE'S EVER SAID TO ME.

BUT ORIGINALLY, I TRIED THOSE GLASSES

WITH THE BIG NOSE AND THE FUNNY MUSTACHE.

YEAH. THOSE ARE USUALLY SUPER EFFECTIVE.

OH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, BUT NOT SO MUCH.

WELL, I LIKE IT. I LIKE IT A LOT.

I'M GLAD BECAUSE I WANTED TO LOOK GOOD FOR OUR DATE.

OKAY, COOL.

SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NEXT?

WELL, UM...

LET'S GO FOR A DRIVE.

( ROCK MUSIC PLAYING )

* CAN YOU HEAR THAT KNOCKING IN YOUR SOUL? *

* NO

* YOU DON'T LISTEN

* CAN YOU HEAR THAT KNOCKING OVERLOAD? *

* NO

* YOU DON'T LISTEN

* NEVER SEE THE HIGH BEYOND THE LOW *

* NO WONDER

* YOU LAY TWITCHING

* DO YOU SHARE THE RUSH TO BE ALONE? *

* COME OVER

* WE'LL GO MISSING

* WE'LL GO WHERE THERE'S NO SNOW *

- HEY, DUDE! - HEY.

- HEY. - HEY.

THERE'S SOME LEFTOVERS IN THE FRIDGE IF YOU WANT THEM.

- OH, AWESOME. - OOH, I WANT SOME.

YOU CAN GET THAT YOURSELF.

EXCUSE ME, BUT I AM THE MAN--

- OH. - THE MAN WHO LOVES HIS WIFE

AND WHO REALLY ISN'T THAT HUNGRY ANYWAY.

- WOW. - YEAH. HEY.

HEARD YOU WERE SWINGING YOUR BANANA AROUND.

YES. YES, I DID.

I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE BIT, AND IT SPRAYED.

WOW. ( LAUGHS )

SO HOW WAS THE-- THE MEETING THING

THAT YOU WENT TO AFTER I SAW YOUR PENIS?

OH, OH, RIGHT, NO, NO. I WAS-- I WAS MEETING A GIRL.

I MET A GIRL, YOU KNOW, LIKE A DATE.

SO.

YOU CAN MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT.

- OH, MY GOD! - ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

( BOTH LAUGHING AND CHATTERING )

YES. THANK YOU.

THAT'S GOOD. IT ACTUALLY HURTS.

- BUT, I MEAN-- - SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN, SWEETIE.

- SLOW DOWN. - OKAY. NO, NO, NO.

OKAY, I'M OKAY. I'M OKAY.

OKAY. LISTEN, HER NAME IS KATY.

- WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE? - VERY BEAUTIFUL.

- HOW OLD IS SHE? - A FEW YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME.

- WHAT DOES SHE DO? - ADVERTISING.

- WHERE'S SHE FROM? - SEATTLE.

- EYES? - TWO.

- COLOR? HAIR? - BLUE. RED, DARK RED.

OH!

WE'RE SO HAPPY FOR YOU, MAN! THAT'S GREAT.

- THANK YOU. THANK YOU. - SO DO WE GET TO MEET HER?

YES, YES. EVENTUALLY, YOU WILL MEET HER.

I DON'T WANNA SCARE HER RIGHT AWAY.

( LAUGHS ) HILARIOUS.

NO, BUT, OH, BY THE WAY, MAN,

YOU'RE GONNA NOT WANNA USE YOUR ELECTRIC RAZOR.

OH, WHY, DID YOU SHAVE YOUR PUBS WITH IT?

NO. WHAT THE HELL, MAN? NO, THE BATTERIES ARE DEAD.

- OH, OKAY, COOL. - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

DO YOU... SHAVE YOUR PUBS?

SHE ASKED ME TO DO IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.

IT WASN'T MY CHOICE. SHE SAID DO IT.

- AND I WAS LIKE-- - STOP TALKING!

NO, NO, NO, NO.

- OH, COME ON. SERIOUSLY? - A DEAL'S A DEAL.

THANK YOU.

WHAT IF SOMEBODY, YOU KNOW, BREAKS IN AND TAKES IT?

RIGHT, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE THE WORST THING

THAT COULD HAPPEN EVER, LIKE EVER.

YEAH. THAT-- THAT'S RIGHT.

WEIRDO. LET'S GO.

DOES THIS PLACE HAVE, YOU KNOW, XBOX OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

YEAH, FUN GAMES, "WORLD OF WALK-CRAFT."

- "GRAND THEFT OUTDOORS." - OH, NICE.

AND MY LEAST FAVORITE, "CALL OF DOGGIE DUTY."

WOW.

WHAT'S THAT?

WHAT?

IT'S A CHARM.

OH. COOL.

NO, I USED TO BE SUPER INTO CHARMS.

A STAR MEANS THAT YOU'LL HAVE YOUR WISHES GRANTED.

IT'S FOR YOU.

OH, NO, I'M NOT REALLY A CHARM GUY.

PUT IT ON YOUR KEYCHAIN.

OKAY.

( LAUGHS )

HOW LONG DID YOUR FRIENDS LET YOU STAY WITH THEM?

TOO LONG, PROBABLY. A COUPLE MONTHS.

WOW. THOSE ARE SOME GOOD FRIENDS.

I KNOW, RIGHT?

I WOULD HAVE KICK ME OUT A MONTH AGO.

THEY, UH-- THEY WANNA MEET YOU.

REALLY?

YEAH, LIKE, A LOT.

YOU TOLD THEM ABOUT ME?

YEAH. YEAH, I DID.

( SIGHS )

YOU KNOW, THESE, UH-- THESE PARKS, AS YOU CALL THEM,

NOT SO BAD.

YEAH, MORE PEOPLE SHOULD GO TO THEM.

WELL, THEY WOULD IF THEY ADVERTISED.

YOU SHOULD COME UP WITH SOMETHING.

- YOU WANT ME TO SELL YOU ON IT? - YEAH, SELL ME ON THE PARK.

OKAY. UH, REASONS...

TREES.

TREES.

GRASS.

GRASS.

NATURE.

NATURE.

ME.

YOU, HUH?

OH, WOW, WHAT-- WHAT DID THAT?

A DOG MAYBE.

THAT'S A PRETTY BIG DOG.

A BEAR.

THERE ARE NO BEARS HERE.

TWO-- TWO DOGS?

YEAH, I THINK WE SHOULD JUST GET OUT OF HERE.

YEAH, THAT'S-- THAT'S-- THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

- BRODY: HEY, BRO. - HEY, BRO.

HEY, BRO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING LATER?

I JUST WENT AND GOT "GHOSTBUSTERS" ON BLU-RAY.

IT'S LIKE CATS AND DOGS SLEEPING TOGETHER, BRO.

- IT'S EPIC! - EPIC. IT'S GREAT.

I'M ACTUALLY KIND OF BUSY, MAN.

OH. THAT'S COOL, BRO. YOU KNOW.

HEY, THIS WEEKEND,

I'M THROWING A BIG 30TH BIRTHDAY BASH.

AND YOU GOT TO COME, BRO. YOU'RE LIKE MY BEST FRIEND.

- SO YOU GOT TO BE THERE. - YEAH. WHO'S 30TH BIRTHDAY?

WELL, MINE, BRO.

( LAUGHS ) YOU'RE 30.

WELL, YEAH, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, LIKE, NOT TILL THIS WEEKEND,

BUT, YEAH.

WOW. WOW. I THOUGHT YOU WERE AT LEAST 40.

THAT'S NOT A COMPLIMENT, BRO.

THAT'S NOT COOL.

I MEAN, BUT, HEY, THE PARTY, BRO, OKAY?

- PARTY. WHOO. - WHOO!

- I'LL BE THERE. - CLOTHING OPTIONAL, OKAY?

OKAY.

SO YOU GUYS ARE RELATED?

NO, NO, NO. DIFFERENT KIND OF BRO.

FOR SOMEONE IN ADVERTISING, YOU'RE NOT VERY BRIGHT.

NOT COOL, BRO.

( DOORBELL RINGS )

DON'T YOU LIVE HERE?

YEAH, WELL, I MEAN, IT'S THEIR HOUSE,

AND YOU'RE THE FIRST GIRL I'VE BROUGHT OVER.

- HEY! - HEY!

- HEY, GUYS. - OH!

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA BRING YOUR LADY FRIEND.

OH, I'M SORRY. I'M SO RUDE.

MICHELLE, JUSTIN, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET KATY.

( LAUGHS )

I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE--

OH, LADIES FIRST.

( WHISPERS ) ISN'T SHE GREAT?

IS HE DOING A-- IS HE DOING A THING?

I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW, UM...

SO I WAS TELLING KATY ABOUT YOUR AMAZING CULINARY SKILLS.

- OH? - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

SHE'S SO EXCITED TO TRY YOUR FOOD.

I WAS SAYING YOU SHOULD OPEN UP A RESTAURANT.

YOU SHOULD MAKE THIS PLACE A RESTAURANT BECAUSE, I MEAN,

I EAT HERE ALL THE TIME.

IT'S PRETTY MUCH A RESTAURANT TO ME, RIGHT?

BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER I EAT HERE ALL THE TIME.

YOU GUYS SHOULD HAVE MENUS. THAT'D BE FUNNY.

YEAH.

GREAT.

I'M GONNA GO CHECK ON THE FOOD.

OH, OKAY.

CAN'T WAIT.

YEAH, MENUS.

YEAH, RIGHT? YEAH.

SHE'S FUNNY.

UM...

ARE YOU OKAY, MAN?

I'M GREAT, OBVIOUSLY. ( CHUCKLES )

- HOW ARE YOU? - I'M GOOD.

- OKAY. - GREAT.

- AWESOME. - EXCELLENT.

- PERFECT. - GREAT. WHO'S HUNGRY?

- I AM. SO IS SHE. - RIGHT.

THANKS, GUYS, FOR HAVING US OVER.

IT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.

KATY AND I VERY MUCH APPRECIATE IT.

- GREAT. - ABSOLUTELY.

THANK YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M SORRY, MAN, DID YOU WANT MORE DRESSING?

NO. I DON'T NEED MORE DRESSING.

NOBODY HERE NEEDS MORE DRESSING.

NOT ANYMORE.

- DOES KATY LIKE IT? - LOOKS LIKE IT.

BUT WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER?

( BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY )

DO YOU...

LIKE IT, KATY?

YOU SEE? EVERYBODY LOVES HER FOOD.

I'M TELLING YOU, YOU GOTTA OPEN THIS RESTAURANT.

- YOU HAVE TO. - ( LAUGHS )

SO, UH...

KATY IS IN, UM, ADVERTISING?

YEAH, YEAH.

SHE GETS A LITTLE EMBARRASSED WHEN I TALK HER UP,

BUT SHE'S WORKING ON THIS AMAZING

COFFEE CAMPAIGN RIGHT NOW.

I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS ONE GETS HER IDEAS.

OH, MAYBE SHE JUST COMES UP WITH THAT OUT OF THIS AIR.

YEAH, EXACTLY, EXACTLY.

SHE HAS SUCH A VIVID IMAGINATION.

( COUGHS )

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

- FINE. - JUST HAVE SOME MORE WINE.

- SHE'S FINE. - ANYWAY, GO AHEAD.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MORE WINE?

- NO, I'M FINE. - I DO.

( CLEARS THROAT )

OH, I'M-- I'M SO SORRY.

SO WHERE'D YOU AND KATY MEET?

OH, WE MET AT THE CAFE ON MORGAN.

YEAH, YEAH, SHE WAS STALKING ME PRETTY HARD,

AND I FELT BAD. ( LAUGHS )

- ARE YOU OKAY? - I'M FINE, YEAH.

SHE, UH-- SHE JUST LIKES A LITTLE ROUGH.

( LAUGHS ) OH, WOW.

SO KATY AND I ARE GONNA GO APARTMENT HUNTING TOMORROW.

FOR BOTH OF YOU?

WELL, JUST FOR ME. FOR NOW, YEAH.

SWEETIE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE.

- YOU DON'T HAVE TO MOVE OUT. - I DO. I DO.

I MEAN, YOU GUYS, SERIOUSLY, YOU'VE BEEN AMAZING,

BUT I THINK IT'S TIME FOR THIS LITTLE BIRD

TO FIND A NEW NEST.

I'LL DRINK TO THAT.

OH, MAN, THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR DINNER.

- THAT WAS GREAT. - IT WAS OUR PLEASURE.

- NO PROBLEM. - NO PROBLEM.

HEY, WE'RE GONNA JUST HANG OUT IN MY ROOM FOR A LITTLE BIT.

- ( GROANS ) - PERFECT.

I'M TOTALLY COMFORTABLE WITH THAT.

ALL RIGHT, HEY, HOPEFULLY,

WE DON'T MAKE TOO MUCH NOISE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

( LAUGHING )

- LOVE YOU, GUYS. - THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

I NEED A DRINK. I NEED A DRINK. I NEED A DRINK. I NEED A DRINK.

SHE'S SO PRETTY, RIGHT?

PRETTY CRAZY. WHAT THE SHIT WAS THAT SHIT?!

SORRY, I WAS JUST THANKING THEM AGAIN FOR DINNER,

AND TELLING THEM HOW AMAZING YOU ARE.

- YOU'RE SO SWEET. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M PLAYING WITH YOUR PHONE.

I CAN SEE THAT.

YOU HAVE A LOT OF FOOD-RELATED APPS ON HERE.

I LIKE FOOD. GOT A HIGH METABOLISM.

A LOT OF GAME APPS.

AND I LIKE GAMES.

( CHUCKLES )

LET'S LOOK AT THE PHOTOS.

- OH, YOU PROBABLY DON'T-- - IS SHE IN HERE?

HOW-- HOW DO YOU KNOW?

WHAT, YOU HAD THE WHOLE DUMPED-GUY LOOK.

- REALLY? - THE BEARD.

- YOU MEAN MY DISGUISE? - UH, YEAH.

LIKE, THE "WORKING THINGS OUT" LOOK,

TO PUT IT NICELY.

WHAT WAS HER NAME?

UH, HER NAME WAS--

IS JESSICA.

- NICE NAME. - MM-HMM.

SHE'S VERY PRETTY.

I GUESS.

NOT AS PRETTY AS YOU, THOUGH.

THANK YOU.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

UH, A LITTLE AFTER 9:00.

TIME TO PURGE.

OH, WELL, YOU SEE, THESE PICTURES--

I KEEP THOSE PHOTOS BECAUSE THEY SORT OF REMIND ME

OF DIFFERENT TIME PERIODS IN MY LIFE THAT WERE--

YEAH.

YEAH, WE SHOULD DELETE THEM.

- YOU READY? OKAY. - YEAH.

DID THAT HURT?

NO. SURPRISINGLY NO.

HOW ABOUT THAT ONE?

THAT WAS OKAY.

YOUR TURN.

COME ON.

HOW WAS IT?

YOU KNOW? ( CHUCKLES ) I FEEL OKAY.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

YOU KNOW, IT SEEMED LIKE YOUR FRIENDS

DIDN'T LIKE ME VERY MUCH.

ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU WERE GREAT.

WELL, SURE, TO YOU, BUT YOU DON'T COUNT

- BECAUSE YOU'RE SMITTEN. - I AM.

( CHUCKLES ) QUITE SMITTEN.

IT JUST-- IT SEEMED LIKE THEY DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME.

OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, I'VE JUST--

YOU KNOW, I'VE HAD A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH WOMEN,

AND I GUESS THEY'RE JUST BEING PROTECTIVE.

SHH.

- SHH! - SHH!!

I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.

I HAVE BETTER EARS.

GO, GO, GO.

HE'S NOT JOKING. HE'S NOT JOKING.

DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT.

I LITERALLY SPENT THE ENTIRE NIGHT

JUST WAITING FOR HIM TO SAY, "HA HA HA, JUST KIDDING."

- YOU NEED TALK TO HIM. - AND TELL HIM WHAT?

THAT HE'S HALLUCINATING? THAT HE'S CRAZY?

WE DID THIS TO HIM.

NO, NO.

- WE DID SOMETHING WRONG. - FALSE.

WE NEEDED TO BE BETTER AS A COUPLE,

SHOW HIM HOW PEOPLE AND HUMAN BEINGS

WHEN THEY'RE IN A-- PAIRING.

I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE.

BUT THE ONE CLUE THAT I DO HAVE IS IT AIN'T BECAUSE OF US, OKAY?

YOU NEED TO FIX THIS.

WHY ME?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

MAYBE-- MAYBE IT'S TEMPORARY. MAYBE IT'S TEMPORARY.

MAYBE HE'S ON DRUGS.

SOME REALLY GOOD DRUGS.

THAT WOULD BE AMAZING.

WHY IS THAT-- WHY WOULD THAT BE AMAZING?

( LAUGHS )

( LAUGHS )

SO HOW MANY PLACES HAVE YOU SEEN?

OH, THIS IS THE THIRD ONE TODAY.

OH, WHERE YOU'RE MOVING FROM?

I WAS LIVING IN THE CITY.

THE CITY? UGH, THE WORST.

SO MANY MINORITIES.

WELL, HERE WE GO.

NOW, AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE A SPACIOUS LIVING ROOM,

FIREPLACE, NEW CROWN MOLDING.

YEAH, I'M SORRY, MAN.

BUT ( CHUCKLES ) AREN'T YOU A MINORITY?

WELL, THERE ARE MINORITIES.

AND THEN THERE ARE MINORITIES.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

UH, YEAH, SORTA. I JUST KINDA--

I FEEL LIKE YOU'D BE MORE SUPPORTIVE.

SO YOU'RE COOL WITH ALL WHITE PEOPLE?

SOME WHITE-TRASH HILLBILLY OR SOME CRACKER

WITH A TASTE FOR HUMAN FLESH?

OR EVEN WORSE, DONALD TRUMP?

NO. NO, MAN, NO.

SO THERE ARE WHITE PEOPLE,

AND THEN THERE ARE WHITE PEOPLE.

RIGHT, I'D FEEL A LOT MORE COMFORTABLE

IF WE JUST KIND OF TALKED ABOUT THE APARTMENT.

OH, YEAH, NO PROBLEM. UTILITIES ARE INCLUDED.

THERE'S A WASHER AND A DRYER IN THE UNIT,

24-HOUR ACCESS TO THE GYM, AND THE BEST PART?

GREAT NEIGHBORS.

- IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. - RIGHT. ( CHUCKLES )

HEY, IF YOU DON'T MIND,

I'M JUST GONNA LOOK AROUND A LITTLE BIT.

- ABSOLUTELY. HELP YOURSELF. GO RIGHT AHEAD. - THANKS.

WOW, THAT GUY WAS AWFUL.

DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS.

YOU MEAN LIKE THE TV SHOW?

- WHAT? - "DIFF'RENT STROKES"?

NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. YOU ARE SO RACIST.

HEY, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID IT.

BUT I'M NOT THE ONE WHO MADE THE SUPER RACIST CONNECTION.

I'M NOT RACIST. THAT GUY MIGHT BE.

HE PROBABLY IS.

- LADIES FIRST. - WHY, THANK YOU.

SO THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS.

YOU'RE SO NASTY.

WHAT? THAT'S EWW.

THAT'S GROSS. WAIT A MINUTE.

ARE YOU LIKE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE THAT LIKES TO HAVE OTHER PEOPLE

POOP AND PEE ON THEM?

YOU MEAN GERMANS?

NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN!

I WILL LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM HALF-GERMAN.

OH, SO YOU ARE ONLY HALF INTO IT.

I'M NOT INTO IT AT ALL. ( LAUGHS )

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WELL... I DON'T KNOW.

I LIKE IT, BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU?

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I THINK.

IT KIND OF DOES.

I'M THINKING ABOUT RENOVATING IT,

TURNING IT INTO A MASSAGE PARLOR FOR YOUR TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC.

YOU ARE SUCH A PIG.

I PROMISE YOU'LL BE MY BEST AND ONLY CLIENT.

AND NOW YOU'RE A CHEESEBALL.

- ( GERMAN ACCENT ) GET ON THE TABLE. - NO, NO, NO.

LET ME START WITH THE OIL ON YOUR BUTT CRACK.

( CELL PHONE RINGS )

HEY-- HEY.

CARAMEL MACCHIATO.

BAGEL.

ANY KIND THEY HAVE.

ANY KIND!

NO, NO, NO, NOT THAT KIND, NOT THAT KIND.

JUST GET-- JUST GET ME A BLUEBERRY MUFFIN.

OKAY, BYE.

TYLER?

( CELL PHONE RINGS )

HEY-- HEY.

NO, NOT A LATTE. A MACCHIATO.

NO, IT'S NOT THE SAME THING.

HEY, BRO.

HEY, BRODY.

WE'RE NEIGHBOR BROS, BRO.

CALL ME BRO.

- OKAY, UH, BRO. - ALL RIGHT.

HEY, WERE YOU OUT HERE A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO

WHEN TYLER GOT BACK HERE?

( LAUGHS ) I'M ALWAYS OUT HERE, BRO.

DID YOU HAPPEN TO SEE HIM TALKING TO ANYONE?

- ME? - NO, SOMEONE ELSE

OR A GIRL, MAYBE JUST TALKING TO HIMSELF.

NO, THAT'S THE THING, BRO.

I'M LIKE-- I'M A LITTLE FUZZY WITH THE DEETS THESE DAYS,

YOU KNOW, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN EXPERIMENTING

WITH SOME PRETTY HEAVY PSYCHOTROPICS.

YOU KNOW, BRO, IT'S JUST LIKE--

IT JUST LIKE TAKES MY BRAIN OUT, BRO, AND IT'S DOWN HERE

LIKE, IN MY POCKET, YOU KNOW, AND I--

IT'S HARD, BRO, TO GET THE DETAILS FROM THE POCKET.

WHAT DID SHE LOOK LIKE, BRO?

UH, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE WONDERING.

SHE WASN'T, LIKE, COVERED IN FUR

WITH RAINBOWS LIKE-- ( BABBLES )

LIKE, SHOOTING OUT OF HER EYES AND STUFF, WAS SHE, BRO?

- PROBABLY NOT. - GOOD, BRO, BECAUSE THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND.

OKAY. WELL, GOOD TALK.

HEY, BRO, LATER ON, WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE--

( SCATS RHYTHM ) DRUM CIRCLE, OKAY?

I WANT YOU AND THE WIFE THERE, OKAY?

- ALL RIGHT. - OKAY?

- YEAH. - CLOTHING OPTIONAL, BRO.

NO.

- HEY, SWEETIE. - HI.

HEY, BIG MAN. WHAT YOU EATING?

DRIED BLUEBERRIES.

THEY'RE HIGH IN ANTIOXIDANTS.

ANTIOXIDANTS, HUH?

IS THAT SOMETHING HE SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT?

DOES HE LOOKED WORRIED TO YOU? IS THAT WHAT'S GOING ON?

HEY, THERE'S NO MORE HOUSE GUEST, SO MAYBE WE COULD--

NO, NO, I'M DEFINITELY GONNA BE TOO TIRED TONIGHT.

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING.

WELL, THAT DOES SOUND SO SPECIAL.

NO.

OH, I JUST HAD A TOTALLY WEIRD CONVERSATION WITH, UM...

- TYLER? - NO, THE OTHER-- ( BLOWS RASPBERRY )

- BRODY? - YES.

HE SAID THAT HE HASN'T SEEN TYLER WITH ANYBODY.

NO? NOBODY?

NOT EVEN LIKE A MAYBE OR SOMETHING?

NOT A THING. NOT A THING.

- OKAY. - IS HE COMING TO DINNER TONIGHT?

WHO? BRODY?

( LAUGHS ) NO! TYLER.

NO, HE'S OUT WITH, UH-- WITH HER.

- OH. - WITH WHO?

HE IS OUT WITH HIS, UH--

SPECIAL... FRIEND. HIS SPECIAL FRIEND.

IS HE WITH HIS LOVER?

YES, KIND OF.

FIRST COMES LOVE.

THEN COMES MARRIAGE.

THEN COMES TYLER WITH THE BABY CARRIAGE.

AND THEN COMES THE STRAITJACKET!

YAY!

BOO.

SO THIS KIND OF LIKE OUR PLACE.

YEAH. WHAT ABOUT THE DINER THAT WE ATE AT THE OTHER DAY?

THE ONE THAT YOU SAID SMELLS LIKE A HOMELESS MAN'S BUTTHOLE?

DECENT BURGER THOUGH.

OR THE TACO PLACE. WE'VE EATEN THERE LIKE TWICE.

NO, YOU'VE EATEN THERE LIKE TWICE.

HEY, THOSE ARE-- THOSE ARE GOOD TACOS.

I DON'T KNOW, I THINK THE CHICKEN

WAS STILL KIND OF MOVING IN YOURS.

THAT'S THE SECRET INGREDIENT.

( LAUGHS ) OKAY, FINE.

SO THEN THIS IS MY OUR PLACE.

OH, YOU'RE SUCH A ROMANTIC.

AND YOU ARE SUCH A MURDERER OF ROMANCE.

- THAT'S TRUE. - MM-HMM.

WELL, SIR, IT HAS BEEN A PLEASURE.

HERE'S YOUR CHANGE, UNLESS YOU WANTED

TO LEAVE A LITTLE FOR THE OLD TIP-ER-OONY.

- OKAY. - OKAY, KEEP THAT IN MIND.

- THANK YOU. - I LIVE ON TIPS.

OKAY. VERY SUBTLE.

ACTUALLY, I HAVE TO GO

BECAUSE I HAVE A MEETING IN AN HOUR WITH, LIKE, A BIG CLIENT.

WOW, COOL.

WHICH REMINDS ME,

WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET YOURSELF SOME WORK TO DO?

COME ON, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS BEFORE.

I HAVE A JOB ALREADY.

THAT'S NOT A JOB. THAT'S A PASTIME.

YOU NEED SOMETHING THAT YOU DO.

I DON'T THINK THERE'S A LAW ABOUT THAT.

IT'S THE LAW OF THE UNIVERSE.

IDLE HANDS ARE THE DEVIL'S WORKSHOP.

HEY, LADY, DON'T PUSH YOUR RELIGION ON ME.

( LAUGHS )

BUT HAVEN'T YOU EVER WANTED TO DO ANYTHING WHEN YOU GROW UP?

YOU KNOW, LIKE TO BE A FIREMAN OR A BASEBALL PLAYER

OR A FORENSIC ACCOUNTANT WITH THE GOVERNMENT.

A WHAT?

NO, SOMETHING BESIDES LAYING ON YOUR COUCH ALL DAY

AND PRESSING LITTLE BUTTONS ON YOUR PHONE.

ACTUALLY, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THIS GUY WAS ENROLLED

IN CULINARY SCHOOL AT ONE POINT.

WHY'D YOU STOP?

WELL, WHY DOES ANYBODY STOP THESE THINGS?

JUST GOOD OLD FASHION AMERICAN LAZINESS.

THEN, YOU KNOW, I GOT INVOLVED IN STOCKS

AND GOT SIDETRACKED.

HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU?

GOOD?

BAD.

DING, DING, DING.

( CELL PHONE RINGS )

HEY, BUDDY.

HOW'S IT GOING, MAN?

YEAH, NO, I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?

OH, WOW.

WELL, THEN I'M HAPPY AND SAD FOR YOU.

( LAUGHS ) NO, SHE'S GOOD.

SHE'S GOOD, MAN.

YEAH, NO, NO, WE'RE GOOD. WE'RE GOOD.

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO CALL YOU. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

( BRITISH ACCENT ) I'M CALLING YOU FOR A FAVOR, ASSHOLE.

( NORMAL VOICE ) NO, NO, I'M DOING YOU.

( BRITISH ACCENT ) ASSHOLE.

ALL RIGHT, FORGET IT.

LISTEN, ARE YOU STILL SELLING THAT SOFA?

YEAH, YEAH, TOTALLY.

PROBABLY NEEDS A ONCE-OVER, BUT IT'S IN GREAT SHAPE,

MINT CONDITION.

YEAH, WE'LL WORK OUT SOMETHING FAIR.

DON'T YOU WORRY. PROBABLY ANAL.

OH.

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT ASSHOLE WANT?

YEAH, YOU TOO, ASSHOLE.

HEY, ASSHOLE!

NO, I DON'T WORK MONDAYS.

BECAUSE I DON'T WORK MONDAYS.

NO, IT'S NOT A RELIGIOUS THING.

WHY, WHAT RELIGION DO YOU THINK I AM?

YOU'RE SUCH A STUPID ASSHOLE.

YES, BECAUSE THAT IS A TUESDAY,

WHICH AS MANY PEOPLE KNOW, MY FRIEND, IS NOT A MONDAY.

WHAT FOR?

ARE YOU DOING AIR QUOTES?

NOPE.

I'LL TELL YOU ON TUESDAY.

NO, IT IS NOT SEX TIPS.

I HAVE PLENTY OF SEXUAL-RELATED KNOWLEDGE.

VERY. VERY SURE.

NO, IT'S ABOUT TYLER. YEAH, JUST--

SHUT UP.

POP IN AT MY OFFICE AT ABOUT LUNCH.

WHAT ARE YOU EATING?

( MUSIC PLAYING )

* I LOSE MY MIND

* TRYING TO GET IN YOUR LINE OF SIGHT *

* EVERYTHING IS QUIET WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES *

* HERE WE GO AGAIN

* SO IT SEEMS

* I'M FIGHTING HARDER FOR YOU *

* THAN I EVER DID FOR ANYTHING *

* CAUGHT IN A DAYDREAM

* I'M JUST GONNA LET MYSELF FALL INTO THIS ONE *

* HERE WE GO AGAIN

* IT'S ALL HAPPENING

* OR IS IT ALL IN MY HEAD?

* WHO SAYS THIS DAYDREAM HAS TO END? *

* MY HEART'S CAVING IN

* IT'S ALL HAPPENING

* DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN...

Justin: NO, ABSOLUTELY. IRAQ IS THE NEW BAHAMAS.

THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY.

HEY, DEREK. COME ON BACK.

HEY, ASSHOLE.

NOT HERE, DUDE, OKAY?

OOH, I LOVE THE HEADSET, ASSHOLE.

THAT'S NOT APPROPRIATE.

SO YOU'RE STILL DOING THE TRAVEL-AGENT THING THEN?

DESTINATION EVENT COORDINATOR, YES.

IT'S QUITE A LUCRATIVE BUSINESS, IN CASE YOU HADN'T NOTICED.

SO ARE YOU GONNA SIT HERE LIKE A COMPLETE TWAT THIS WHOLE TIME,

OR ARE YOU GONNA SIT IN YOUR CHAIR LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN PERSON?

SO DID TYLER TELL YOU ABOUT KATY?

YES, YES, AND ABOUT MOVING OUT.

AWESOME NEWS. SUCH A RELIEF.

I THOUGHT FOR SURE HE WAS HEADED FOR...

WELL, THE MOVING OUT IS GOOD, MAYBE.

BUT THE GIRLFRIEND IS A-- IS ANOTHER SITUATION ENTIRELY.

OH, DID YOU MEET HER?

YES.

AND NO. WE INVITED THEM OVER FOR DINNER.

AND WHEN HE SHOWED UP, SHE WASN'T THERE.

SHE CANCELED?

NO.

SHE WASN'T THERE.

BUT HE THOUGHT SHE WAS THERE. HE ACTED LIKE SHE WAS THERE.

BUT SHE WAS DEFINITELY NOT THERE.

- WHAT, LIKE SHE'S IMAGINARY? - YEAH.

OOH. OOH, THAT'S MESSED UP.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL TO DO ABOUT IT!

AH, WHO GIVES A SHIT?

I'M SORRY?

WHAT DOES IT MATTER IF SHE'S IMAGINARY?

- BECAUSE IT'S CRAZY! - IS IT?

WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE HIM FOR WHERE HE FINDS HIS HAPPINESS?

I LIKE IT WHEN A GIRL PLAYS WITH MY BUTTHOLE.

COME ON, THIS IS A LOT DIFFERENT THAN A GIRL

STICKING HER FINGER IN YOUR BUTT.

SOMETIMES TWO OR THREE FINGERS.

THREE?

OKAY, LOOK, WE NEED TO HELP TYLER, OKAY?

THIS WHOLE KATY THING IS JUST REALLY UNHEALTHY.

HOW DO WE KNOW IT'S UNHEALTHY?

HE'S HAPPY, RIGHT? HE'S MOVING ON WITH HIS LIFE.

SOUNDS PRETTY DAMN HEALTHY TO ME.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE SIDING WITH A CRAZY PERSON!

YOU GUYS CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT. I AIN'T DOING JACK SHIT.

AND IF YOU SCREW HIM UP, I'M COMING AFTER YOUR ASS,

AND I ASSURE YOU YOU, MATE,

IT WILL INVOLVE MORE THAN THREE FINGERS.

DEREK? DEREK?

OH, HEY, MAN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OH, JUST SHOOTING THE SHIT WITH THIS ASSHOLE, HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OH, JUST COMING TO SEE IF THIS GUY OVER HERE

WANTS TO GET SOME LUNCH OR YOU.

- I ALREADY ATE, SO... - OKAY. YOU IN?

SORRY, MATE, SOME OF US GOTTA WORK FOR A LIVING.

ACTUALLY, I WAS JUST DOWN THE STREET ENROLLING--

RE-ENROLLING IN CULINARY SCHOOL.

- THAT'S GREAT. - YEAH.

- THAT'S GREAT NEWS. - THANKS, MAN.

GREAT. THAT'S-- THAT'S VERY HEALTHY BEHAVIOR.

WOULD YOU AND KATY LIKE TO COME TO DINNER TONIGHT?

OKAY, 6:00.

BE GREAT TO SEE YOU AND KATY THERE ACTUALLY, TOGETHER.

OKAY. SEE YOU GUYS LATER.

- HEY, BRO. - OH, HEY, BRO.

WHAT HAPPENED THIS WEEKEND, BRO?

WHAT? UH... WITH WHAT?

MY G.D. BIRTHDAY PARTY, BRO!

OH, MAN, YOU KNOW WHAT? I WAS MOVING.

AND I GUESS IT TOTALLY SLIPPED MY MIND.

I TOLD EVERYBODY YOU WERE COMING, BRO.

WHY?

IT'S NOT COOL.

IT'S NOT COOL, BRO.

HEY. I'M SORRY.

( SIGHS ) THAT GUY'S CRAZY.

( KNOCK ON DOOR )

- HEY. - HEY, FONZARELLI.

NICE TIMELY REFERENCE THERE, CHACHI.

- YEAH, HAD TO PULL THAT ONE OUT OF THE MOTHBALLS. - YEAH, YEAH, IT'S GOOD.

- HEY. - HEY.

SO HOW ARE YOU AND KATY?

OH, WE'RE GOOD. REALLY AMAZING.

- GREAT. - SHE COULDN'T MAKE IT. SORRY ABOUT THAT.

SHE'S GOT A CLIENT MEETING,

KINDA BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL, SO...

- OH. - OH, SHE'S-- SHE'S NOT HERE?

NO, NO, JUST ME.

YOU SURE?

YEAH, SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU, MAN.

- THIS GUY. - JUST HAD TO CHECK.

- ( LAUGHS ) - YEAH, TOTALLY.

OH, OKAY, LET'S--

I MEAN, I MADE FOR FOUR PEOPLE TO INGEST THE FOOD.

- THAT'S FINE. - I LIKE THAT WORD, "INGEST."

I CAN EAT FOR TWO.

SO HOW ARE YOU AND KATY? DOING GOOD?

OH, YEAH. IT'S-- IT'S AMAZING.

I NEVER IMAGINED THAT IT COULD BE LIKE THIS.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

WELL, ACTUALLY, I THINK THAT WE'RE--

WE'RE KIND OF GLAD THAT SHE COULDN'T MAKE IT.

YOU GUYS-- YOU GUYS DON'T LIKE HER?

NO, NO, THAT'S...

THAT'S SILLY.

THAT'S NOT IT.

EXACTLY.

SO WHAT IS IT EXACTLY?

WELL, I THINK THAT WE JUST-- WE WANTED TO--

WANTED TO TALK TO YOU FOR A WHILE,

AND IT'S JUST A BETTER THING IF YOU DON'T THINK THAT--

IF-- IF-- THAT SHE'S NOT HERE.

RIGHT.

WOW. OKAY.

THIS SOUNDS-- THIS SOUNDS AWFUL.

UM...

YOUR LAST BREAKUP WAS REALLY--

WAS REALLY HARD ON YOU, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

WELL, I THINK THAT MAYBE SOME...

PART OF YOU JUST... DIDN'T--

JUST DIDN'T MAKE IT.

( CHUCKLES ) OKAY.

LOOK, I APPRECIATE THIS.

I'M FINE NOW, REALLY.

KATY...

ISN'T REAL.

I KNOW. SHE'S-- SHE'S SO UNREAL.

NO, SHE'S NOT AN ACTUAL ALIVE PERSON, TY.

( CHUCKLES ) OKAY.

NO, JUST LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY, ALL RIGHT?

KATY IS A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION.

RIGHT, WELL, THEN SHE'S A FIGMENT

OF YOUR IMAGINATIONS BECAUSE SHE WAS HERE FOR DINNER.

SO KIND OF HARD TO FEED A FIGMENT OF IMAGINATION.

WHEN YOU CAME OVER THAT NIGHT, YOU WERE ALONE.

OKAY. WOW.

YOU GUYS ARE REALLY COMMITTING TO THIS JOKE.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, YEAH, SHE SAT HERE,

AND YOU TALKED TO HER SO...

NO, I DIDN'T TALK TO HER. WE DIDN'T TALK TO HER.

WE TALKED TO YOU, AND WE PLAYED ALONG

BECAUSE WE THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING,

AND WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

OKAY, I KNOW WHAT THIS IS.

I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE. I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

OH, I'M NO LONGER MOPEY, DEPRESSED TYLER

HANGING OUT AT YOUR HOUSE ALL THE TIME, RIGHT?

SO YOU GUYS HAVE TO GO BACK TO YOUR BORING,

MUNDANE MARRIED SITUATION.

THAT'S CRAZY.

WELL, THEN IT SUITS ME, CLEARLY,

BECAUSE MY TWO FRIENDS ARE SUGGESTING

THAT I'M HALLUCINATING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

- COME ON. - I WENT ON FACEBOOK, OKAY?

AND THE ONLY PERSON WITH THAT NAME

IS AN INCREDIBLY LARGE BLACK WOMAN IN CLEVELAND.

IN CLEVELAND. I DON'T THINK THAT'S HER.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S HER.

FIRST OF ALL, I'M NOT EVEN ON FACEBOOK.

THERE'S ONLY LIKE 10 MILLION PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK.

A BILLION. A BILLION PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK.

- A BILLION? - A BILLION.

WOW, OKAY, WELL, ANYWAY,

THERE'S FOUR BILLION PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.

SEVEN BILLION.

- SEVEN BILLION PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET. - GIVE OR TAKE A FEW.

THAT'S SIX BILLION NOT ON FACEBOOK.

WOW, I AM REALLY SHOCKED

AND DISAPPOINTED BY BOTH OF YOU.

LIKE, I'M SITTING HERE, I'M FINALLY HAPPY AGAIN,

AND I HAVE TO PROVE TO YOU THAT THIS PERSON IS INTO ME?

DO YOU WANNA SEE THE TEXTS? BECAUSE I GOT TEXTS.

I GOT, YOU KNOW, THE CALL LOG. I GOT EMAILS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- DO YOU THINK I HIRED SOME GIRL-- - NO, NO, NO, NO!

WHEN YOU CAME HERE, THERE WAS NO BODY THERE.

- THERE WAS NOBODY SITTING IN THE CHAIR, TY. - IT WAS JUST EMPTY SPACE.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. THAT'S ENOUGH.

SERIOUSLY, EVEN FOR YOU GUYS,

THIS IS BY FAR THE BULLSHITIEST BULLSHIT EVER.

WE'RE JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU, MAN.

REALLY? BY MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I'M CRAZY?

BY MAKING ME THINK THAT THIS AMAZING THING

THAT I HAVE IN MY LIFE ISN'T REAL?

WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS ARE THAT?

( DOOR OPENS, CLOSES )

WELL...

THAT DIDN'T GO THE WAY I THOUGHT IT WOULD.

- NO. - NO.

NO. NO.

COME ON, COME ON.

COME ON, PICK UP, PICK UP.

PICK UP, COME ON.

PICK UP THE PHONE.

THANK GOD.

OH.

NO, NO, I'M FINE. I'M FINE.

LISTEN, CAN-- CAN YOU COME OVER?

YEAH, NO, I'M-- I'M DONE HERE.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU SOON. BYE.

HELLO.

HI.

THANKS FOR COMING OVER.

WHAT'S, UH--

WHAT'S BOUNCING AROUND THAT LITTLE HEAD OF YOURS?

NOTHING.

OKAY.

MAYBE YOU'LL TELL ME LATER.

NO, IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW--

YOU KNOW WHEN SOMETHING SEEMS SO RIGHT,

YOU KNOW, SO GOOD THAT IT'S--

IT'S PROBABLY TOO RIGHT, TOO GOOD.

YOU KNOW, LIKE ANY MINUTE NOW, SOMETHING'S GONNA GO BAD,

YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE IT'S ALWAYS THAT WAY.

LIKE, YOU'RE WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP.

SHOE TO DROP, EXACTLY. YEAH.

WELL, I MEAN, LOOK,

SOMETIMES PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY'RE JINXED, RIGHT?

OR SOMEHOW ARE DESTINED FOR FAILURE

JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE HAD SOME BAD BREAKS,

AND THEN THEY FOCUS IN ON THOSE BAD BREAKS,

AND SUDDENLY, THE BAD BREAKS ARE EVERYWHERE,

BUT THEY FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING IN LIFE

THAT IS WONDERFUL AND MAGICAL.

MAGICAL?

WHAT'S GOING ON IN THAT PRETTY HEAD OF YOURS?

NOTHING.

OKAY, SOMETHING.

YEAH? WHAT?

I LOVE YOU.

( CHUCKLES SOFTLY )

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

HELLO?

SLOW DOWN THERE, TIGER, I'M COMING.

ONE?

NO. ACTUALLY, I WAS WONDERING

IF YOU COULD HELP ME WITH SOMETHING.

SURE, FIVE BUCKS.

- SERIOUSLY? - UH-HUH.

- OKAY, I WAS WONDERING-- - UPFRONT.

ALL RIGHT, FIVE BUCKS.

THANK YOU.

UH, OKAY, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GUY IN HERE?

- I THINK SO. - NO, NO, WAIT.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GUY IN HERE WITH SOMEBODY ELSE?

OH, JEALOUS BOYFRIEND?

( CHUCKLES ) NO.

ARE YOU SOME KIND OF LIKE WEIRD STALKER OR SOMETHING?

NO, I'M NOT A STALKER. I'M JUST A FRIEND.

OKAY, LET ME SEE THIS.

OH, YOU GUYS ARE CUTE.

ARE YOU THE TOP? I BET YOU'RE THE TOP, RIGHT?

LIKE THE PITCHER.

WHY DOES EVERYBODY KEEP ASKING ME THAT? NO.

ANYWAY, I'M LOOKING FOR MY FRIEND, OKAY?

HAVE YOU SEEN HIM IN HERE WITH LIKE A GIRL

OR WITH ANYBODY, SOMEBODY?

YOU KNOW WHAT WE COULD DO?

WE COULD CHECK THE SECURITY CAMERA FOOTAGE

- FOR THE LAST WEEK. - OH, THAT'S GREAT.

- RIGHT? - YEAH.

- YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO THAT, ARE YOU? - NOT A CHANCE.

- OKAY, ALL RIGHT. - SECURITY CAMERA.

- IDIOT! - GREAT SERVICE.

THANKS A LOT. CAN'T WAIT TO COME BACK.

SECURITY CAMERAS.

TYLER?

THAT'S FAIR.

HMM.

HEY, ASSHOLE, IT'S A SOFA.

JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE, WILL YOU?

WELL, IT'S COOL IF YOU DON'T WANT IT.

SMELLS KIND OF FARTY, DUDE.

WELL, THAT'S PROBABLY FROM ME DOG.

YOU DON'T HAVE A DOG.

WELL, THEN IT'S PROBABLY FROM ME THEN.

UGH. I NEED SOME TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT.

WHAT--

WHAT IS THAT?

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT.

CHEERS, MATE.

SO HOW'S THINGS WITH YOUR LADY FRIEND THEN?

YEAH, THEY'RE ALL RIGHT. MAYBE.

I DON'T KNOW, MAN, HAVE YOU EVER WONDER

IF A CRAZY PERSON KNOWS THAT THEY'RE A CRAZY PERSON?

OR DO THEY JUST LIKE THINK EVERYONE AROUND THEM IS CRAZY?

WELL, ISN'T CRAZY KIND OF A RELATIVE THING?

I MEAN, MAYBE YOU THINK IT'S CRAZY

TO SMEAR PEANUT BUTTER ALL OVER YOUR BALLS

AND HAVE A DOG LICK IT OFF,

OR MAYBE YOU DON'T THINK IT'S CRAZY.

I'M TALKING LIKE CRAZY, CRAZY, MAN.

LIKE, YOU KNOW, "A HOMELESS GUY TALKING TO A MAILBOX,

EATING HIS OWN POOP" CRAZY, YOU KNOW?

WELL, THAT'S EXTREME.

BASICALLY, EVERYONE IS KIND OF CRAZY.

IT'S A CRAZY WORLD, DUDE.

WE ALL DO WHAT WE HAVE TO DO TO SURVIVE.

YEAH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

BUT NO, NO, THE HOMELESS FELLA

HE DOESN'T THINK HE'S CRAZY.

HUNGRY MAYBE.

( LAUGHS )

AH, YOU A SICK GUY.

SOMEONE'S GOTTA BE.

THAT'S FUNNY, MAN.

( SIGHS )

SO, UH, THOSE GUYS REALLY LIKED MY WORK.

THAT'S GREAT.

YEAH, THEY LOVED MY COFFEE CAMPAIGN,

AND THEN THEY GAVE ME THE ENTIRE WRITING

FOR THE WHOLE LINE OF PRODUCTS.

WELL, I'M NOT SURPRISED. THAT'S, UH-- AWESOME.

IT IS, IT IS, FOR SURE.

BUT...

LONG HOURS?

YEAH. YEAH.

BUT, UM...

IN CHICAGO.

WELL, THAT'S A HELL OF A COMMUTE?

YOU COULD, UH...

COME WITH.

I DON'T KNOW.

I KNOW, IT'S SO CLICHE, RIGHT?

LIKE, "AND I COULD PAY FOR EVERYTHING, SWEETHEART."

NO, IT'S NOT CLICHE.

IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, CHICAGO?

THE WINDY CITY? THIS ALL JUST--

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU'RE--

IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.

JUST-- JUST-- WHAT ABOUT JUST A MAYBE?

YES.

MAYBE.

MAYBE.

REMEMBER WHEN TYLER SAID THAT WE WERE A BORING COUPLE?

OH, COME ON, HEY, DON'T TAKE HIS SHIT AND MAKE IT ABOUT US.

YOU DON'T THINK THAT WAS JUST, LIKE, A LITTLE BIT TRUE?

IF YOU MEAN BY BORING

THAT WE HAVEN'T HALLUCINATED ANOTHER PERSON,

THEN, YEAH, WE'RE BORING.

NO, I MEAN, THAT I DON'T THINK THAT IT LOOKS LIKE

THAT WE'RE IN LOVE ANYMORE.

LOOKS LIKE TO WHO? WE'RE GREAT.

WE'RE GREAT, BABE.

I KNOW, BUT WE DON'T--

WE DON'T HAVE SEX THAT OFTEN, OKAY?

AND WE DON'T EVER DO, LIKE, MAKE-OUT STUFF.

EVER.

I MEAN, ARE YOU EVEN STILL ATTRACTED TO ME?

WHAT? YES.

THIS IS CRAZY. YOU'RE GORGEOUS.

I'M CONSTANTLY IN VARIOUS STAGES OF AROUSAL WHEN I'M WITH YOU.

NO, NO, NO, WANTING TO BONE ME

AND BEING ATTRACTED TO ME

ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS, OKAY?

BECAUSE GUYS WANNA BONE, LIKE, HALF THE PLANET,

BUT WHO DO YOU REALLY WANNA, YOU KNOW,

CARESS THEIR FACE AND LOOK INTO THEIR EYES?

I WANNA CARESS YOU AND I WANNA LOOK INTO YOUR EYES

AND BONE YOU AT THE SAME TIME.

ARE YOU GETTING FILLED?

OH, THAT'S GROSS.

WHAT KIND OF CRAZY ASSHOLE WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

MY KIND OF CRAZY ASSHOLE.

I'M GONNA COME OVER THERE.

AND I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING RIGHT HERE.

- ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN HANDLE THIS? - OH, I CAN HANDLE IT.

I WILL SHOW YOU HOW I DRIVE A STICK SHIFT.

AND THEN LATER,

WE'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING WITH THESE.

- OH, COME OVER HERE. - GET READY FOR THAT.

GET OVER HERE. GET OVER HERE.

FEELS GOOD.

MM, WHAT'S GOING ON?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DECIDE ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.

COULD JUST DO THE LONG-DISTANCE THING.

NO, THAT-- THAT'S NOT IT.

WHAT-- WHAT IS IT?

I DON'T, UM--

I DON'T, UH, KNOW--

WELL, IS THIS ABOUT JESSICA?

NO, NO. NO.

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.

YOU DON'T LOVE ME?

NO, I DO. I DO.

I-- VERY, VERY MUCH.

WELL, THEN, OKAY.

THEN THE REST WILL FIGURE ITSELF OUT.

UM...

YEAH, THERE'S JUST-- THERE'S JUST, UH...

THERE'S JUST ONE THING.

WHAT IS IT?

I-- I'M SO SORRY.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SORRY.

COME HERE. IT'S OKAY.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SORRY.

NO, UM, THIS IS--

THIS IS GONNA SOUND STRANGE, BUT, UM...

I-I'M NOT ENTIRELY CONVINCED...

THAT YOU...

EXIST.

WHAT-- ( LAUGHS )

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I-I'M RIGHT HERE.

YOU CAN SEE ME. YOU CAN TOUCH ME.

YOU ARE SO REAL TO ME.

YOU'RE EVERYTHING THAT I EVER IMAGINED

THAT I WOULD WANT IN A GIRL.

OKAY. SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EYES I'VE EVER SEEN.

PRETTIEST SMILE IN THE WORLD.

YOU'RE SO KIND AND SWEET, LOVING.

( CHUCKLES )

YOUR HAIR IS, LIKE,

THE EXACT KIND OF HAIR THAT I LIKE ON A GIRL.

SO CHANCES ARE THAT

YOU'RE JUST NOT REAL.

WAS THAT REAL ENOUGH?

STOP. STOP.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

PLEASE DON'T DO THIS.

WE-- WE'VE SEEN OUT IN PUBLIC TOGETHER.

I-- I MET YOUR FRIENDS.

ACTUALLY, THEY WERE THE FIRST ONES TO SAY SOMETHING.

OH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I KNEW THEY DIDN'T LIKE ME.

WHAT IF I SAID THAT THEY DIDN'T EXIST?

BUT THEY DO.

BUT WHAT IF I SAID THAT THEY DIDN'T.

LOOK, IT'S NOT ABOUT WHAT THEY SAID.

I-- I HAVE PROBLEMS.

I'VE BEEN HAVING PROBLEMS.

I KNOW, AND I'M HERE TO HELP YOU.

AND YOU HAVE.

YOU HAVE HELPED ME.

BUT NOW, UM, I CAN'T--

I CAN'T FOLLOW YOU SOMEWHERE

IF I DON'T BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE--

I'LL MAKE IT SIMPLE FOR YOU.

I WON'T BOTHER YOU ANYMORE.

I WILL JUST GO.

OH, NO, WAIT.

I'LL DISAPPEAR.

PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE IT LIKE THIS.

I CAN'T LEAVE ANYTHING BECAUSE I'M NOT EVEN HERE.

( MUSIC PLAYS )

* WELL, HERE YOU ARE IN THE GLOOM AGAIN *

* BY NOW, YOUR DEMONS ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS *

* AND EVEN THOUGH THE CARDS WERE DOWN *

* ALL YOU CONJURED UP WERE SOME PAPER CUTS *

* THIS ROUND

MMM.

YUMMERNINS.

YOU KNOW, THE CRAZIEST THING HAPPENED

AFTER I STOPPED BY THAT CAFE.

MMM, THE CAFE WHERE THE WAITRESS HUSTLED YOU OUT OF FIVE BUCKS?

YES, THAT ONE.

I SAW TYLER DRIVING, AND I COULD'VE SWORN I SAW

A GIRL WITH RED HAIR IN THE PASSENGER SEAT.

THEN WHEN HE DROVE PAST, SHE WAS GONE.

SHUT UP.

THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME LAST WEEK.

I WAS SITTING IN MY CAR.

I THINK I SEE TY ACROSS THE STREET,

AND IT REALLY LOOKS LIKE HE'S WITH SOMEONE WITH RED HAIR.

GREAT. NOW WE'RE GOING NUTS.

YEAH, OR IT'S SOME KIND OF SYMPATHY THING, OR

I DON'T KNOW, TRYING TO MAKE SENSE--

- I DON'T KNOW. - WE'RE BOTH GOING NUTS.

HOW'S THIS FOR NUTS?

( HUMS BURLESQUE TUNE )

( KNOCK ON DOOR )

ARE YOU EXPECTING SOMEONE?

TO BE CONTINUED.

YES, MASTER.

IT'S PROBABLY BRODY

- WONDERING IF WE STOLE HIS MAGIC BONG. - ( LAUGHS )

HEY, MAN. WHAT'S UP?

- CAN I COME IN? - OF COURSE.

- IT'S TYLER AND-- - JUST TYLER.

HEY, TY.

HEY.

WE'RE JUST HAVING SOME MILK AND COOKIES.

- DO YOU WANT SOME? - NO.

I DON'T KNOW.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YES TO ME.

WE BROKE UP.

KATY?

YEAH.

I MEAN, I GUESS SO.

SHE WON'T RETURN MY CALLS ANYMORE.

ANYWAY, SHE'S GONE.

YOU KNOW, I HAD THIS, UM,

FRIEND ONCE NAMED, UM...

BYLER.

AND HE WAS VERY SWEET AND KIND AND FUNNY,

EVERYTHING YOU WOULD WANT A PERSON TO BE.

AND, UM, ONE DAY THIS GUY BYLER

STARTED DATING THIS GIRL

BESSICA,

AND SHE WAS SMART AND PRETTY FUNNY,

BUT SHE WAS THE MOST UNKIND,

UNCARING PERSON ON EARTH.

AND SO PRETTY SOON,

BESSICA BROKE BYLER'S HEART INTO A MILLION PIECES.

SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY AWFUL PERSON.

SHE IS-- WAS.

BUT DESPITE HER BEST EFFORTS,

MY FRIEND MANAGED TO LIVE

BECAUSE HE WAS STRONG OF SPIRIT.

AND BECAUSE HE HAD GREAT FRIENDS

THAT STUCK BY HIM EVEN WHEN HE WAS BEING A JERK FACE.

CAN I BORROW YOUR PHONE?

SHE--

KATY WANTED ME TO MOVE TO CHICAGO.

(CHUCKLES ) I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE'S A REAL PERSON, RIGHT?

BUT I'M STILL-- NOW, RIGHT NOW--

WONDERING IF I SHOULD DO IT BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE

I'M SCREWING THINGS UP WITH THIS WONDERFUL WOMAN,

YOU KNOW?

TY?

LOOK AT ME.

I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH YOUR PHONE,

AND THERE ARE NO TEXTS FROM KATY,

THERE'S NO OUTGOING CALLS. THERE'S NO MISSED CALLS.

THERE'S NO PHOTOS.

THERE'S NOTHING ABOUT KATY IN HERE.

GIVE ME THE PHONE.

IT'S NOT HERE.

I SAW EVERYTHING.

TEXTS, IT WAS ALL HERE. I SAW IT.

SWEETIE, SOMETIMES WE SEE WHAT WE WANNA SEE.

WOW.

YOU GUYS MUST REALLY THINK I'M OFF MY ROCKER.

WE DON'T THINK ANYTHING. WE'RE JUST HERE FOR YOU.

SHE WAS...

REALLY SOMETHING.

THERE'S GONNA BE OTHER GIRLS,

OTHER GIRLS THAT CARE FOR YOU

AND THAT ARE FUNNY AND BRIGHT.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING.

WHOEVER THE NEXT GIRL IS...

I JUST HOPE SHE'S A REAL PERSON.

( LAUGHS )

THIS FEELS TOO SOON TO BE LAUGHING AT YOU.

( LAUGHTER )

HEY, BIG MAN. YOU READY TO GO?

READY LIKE FREDDY.

OH, YOU LOOK LOVELY THIS MORNING.

OH, DO I?

YOU GUYS. GET A ROOM.

THANKS.

I THINK WE'VE BEEN LETTING HIM HANG OUT WITH TYLER TOO MUCH.

* I WATCHED A YELLOW JACKET STROLL *

* ONTO THE SIDEWALK FROM THE GRASS *

* HE ROLLED HIS BLACK EYES UP *

* AND THEN HE TWIRLED ONTO HIS BACK *

* I SWEAR I HEARD HIM SAY YOU'D BE A FOOL... *

- ( CELL PHONE CHIMES ) - * IF YOU SAY YOU DIDN'T THINK IT *

* THAT EVERYBODY DIES

* AND YOU HOLD IT LIKE A BEST-KEPT SECRET *

- ( CELL PHONE CHIMES ) - * LOVE THE BEST YOU CAN

* SO YOU KEEP HOWLING AT THE MOON *

* AND LET THAT BLOOD DRY ON YOUR HANDS *

"KIELBASA...

CHICKEN SAUSAGE MADE FROM OUR CHEF'S..."

YOU GUYS NEED A FEW MORE MINUTES OR...

YEAH, WE'RE KIND OF, LIKE, WAITING FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.

HEY, STALKER BOY. LOOK, IT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND.

I-- I'M NOT HIS BOYFRIEND. I'M NOT A STALKER.

- IT'S OKAY. I'LL BE BACK. - OKAY, GREAT.

HEY, GUYS. SORRY I'M LATE.

- NO PROBLEMO. - WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

SHE HATES MY GUTS.

- YOU THINK? - YEAH. MM-HMM.

HEY, DID YOU GUYS ORDER YET? I'M STARVING.

I MISSED BREAKFAST.

THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY.

- THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY. - THAT IS WHAT THEY SAY.

THEY ALSO SAY THOU SHALT NOT KILL, BUT THAT HASN'T STOPPED ME.

( LAUGHS ) WOW! HE'S ON FIRE!

- WHAT'S-- - OKAY, DON'T LOOK RIGHT NOW.

BUT OVER YOUR RIGHT SHOULDER,

THERE WAS A GIRL TOTALLY CHECKING YOU OUT.

- ME? - NO, DOUCHE.

YOU GO FIRST.

THE REDHEAD?

MM-HMM.

- YOU CAN SEE HER? - YEAH, SHE'S CUTE.

SHE'S CUTE.

GUYS, THAT'S HER.

Justin: WHO?

THAT'S HER.

Justin: RED HAIR.

KATY?

HI.

HI.

I'M TYLER.

KATY.

HAVE WE MET BEFORE?

WE'RE MEETING NOW.

DO YOU MIND IF I SIT DOWN?

- PLEASE. - THANKS.

HEY, THAT'S A VERY PRETTY NECKLACE.

OH, THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, A STAR MEANS YOUR WISHES WILL BE GRANTED.

THAT'S RIGHT. DO YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT CHARMS?

NO, JUST THAT ONE.

SO ARE YOU FROM AROUND HERE OFTEN?

( LAUGHS )

ARE YOU FROM AROUND HERE?

I AM, A LOT.

- ( LAUGHS ) - WHAT ABOUT YOU?

NO, I JUST MOVED HERE AND EVERYTHING'S LIKE--

- OH, FROM WHERE? - CHICAGO.

- THE WINDY CITY. - THAT'S THE ONE.

HOW ABOUT THAT?

OH, UM, THESE ARE MY FRIENDS.

THIS IS MICHELLE AND JUSTIN. GUYS, THIS IS KATY.

HI.

IT'S-- IT'S A PLEASURE MEETING YOU.

NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.

( COUGHS ) KATY, HUH?

- OKAY. - UH--

JUST ACT NATURAL.

SORRY ABOUT MY FRIENDS. THEY'RE A LITTLE CRAZY.

I LIKE CRAZY.

REALLY?

( MUSIC PLAYING )

* CAN YOU HEAR THAT KNOCKING IN YOUR SOUL? *

* NO

* YOU DON'T LISTEN

* CAN YOU HEAR THAT KNOCKING OVERLOAD? *

* NO

* YOU DON'T LISTEN

* NEVER SEE THE HIGH BEYOND THE LOW *

* NO WONDER

* YOU LAY TWITCHING

* DO YOU SHARE THE RUSH TO BE ALONE? *

* COME OVER

* WE'LL GO MISSING

* WE'LL GO WHERE THERE'S NO SNOW *

* WE'LL GO, AND THEY WON'T KNOW *

* BUT JUST PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME YOUR WORD *

( VOCALIZING )

* CAN YOU HEAR THAT KNOCKING IN YOUR SOUL? *

* NO WONDER

* YOU DON'T LISTEN

* WE'LL GO WHERE THERE'S NO SNOW *

* BUT JUST PLEASE

* DON'T GIVE ME YOUR WORD

( VOCALIZING )

* JUST PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME YOUR WORD **