Original subtitles

Yo, Em. It's after 8:00.

You should be finishing homework.

This is where I get into bad zombie nonsense...

Emma?

L1477,

thank you so much for your six-month sub.

I appreciate you.

Em.

What are you doing down here?

Maintaining a full A.P. course load.

What are you doing down here?

We talked about playing video games

and using your brain.

You can't do both at the same time.

Rude. And I'm not playing video games.

I'm watching them.

Don't get cute with me.

I just got out of a nine-hour surgery

Haven't even showered yet.

Gross.

And I'm not being cute.

I'm livestreaming.

Right. The zombie horde is back...

People record themselves playing video games

and broadcast it live on the Internet.

You've heard of the Internet, right?

I put this on in the background.

It's calming.

All I see is zombie homicide.

Oh, and a strange man in my little girl's room.

And hey, if you're just tuning in,

make sure to hit that follow button.

You know this guy?

Not personally. I'm just one of his thousands of subs.

Whatever happened to listening to music while you study?

Mom, don't be old.

Hey.

See?

These games are just getting so realistic.

Mom, I just told you

that's not part of the game.

That's him in real life.

Oh, my God.

*N C I S*

*N C I S* Season 17 Episode 09

*N C I S* Episode Title : "IRL"

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

Sync corrections by srjanapala

Right, so I packed Phineas' toiletries

and his pajamas for tonight

and a change of clothes for tomorrow,

including his favorite Iron Man boxer shorts.

Mom, that's personal business.

Well, it's Agent Gibbs' business now.

He needs to make sure you wear clean undies to school tomorrow.

- Oh, Mom. - Thank you,

again, for watching him.

This trip is last minute,

but I hate to pull Phineas out of school.

And since we arrived, I haven't found a reliable sitter.

Sure, no problem.

Not to mention, Phineas doesn't know

about my custody battle with his father and I...

I don't want him to.

I have full maternal custody, and yet I'm the one

who has to appear in a courthouse in New York.

Go. Do what you got to do.

Here I am talking about being maternal.

I'm about to leave my son with a strange man

who lives across the street.

No offense.

Phineas will be safe.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Phineas. Come give me a hug.

Be good.

And I'll be back by tomorrow night.

- Yeah? - I love you.

I love you, too, Mom.

Right.

Okay, remember, school by 8:00,

bed by 9:00, and no screens.

You really have to watch kids these days.

What?

You heard her.

No screens.

Yeah.

Come on, that's all I got.

You're still holding.

Ah.

Ah.

I thought staying here was supposed to be fun.

What do you mean?

This is fun.

- Come on, we're late. - What?

Time for school. Grab your gear.

Why? It's too early.

Well, if you're not early...

you're late.

Morning, men.

Morning.

- What's this? - It's for drinking.

Gibbs called in late, so I had time to stop.

My treat.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, still listening.

You know, this is the third time this month

we beat Gibbs to the office.

Yeah, and he's been leaving early, too.

I know, it's almost as if...

he developed a life outside of work.

Nah. Doesn't sound right.

Well, I am not complaining, because the less he's here,

the less we are.

Well, not today.

What, we got a body?

That's what we got to find out.

Just got off the phone with NCIS Cyber

about a possible murder on a gamer livestream.

Uh, McGee?

Translate.

Live TV for video games.

911 operators all over the country

are getting calls about an online shooting.

Make sure to hit that follow button.

Thanky-panky.

Hey.

Damn.

Whoa. Is this real?

Thousands of followers were watching live

when it happened, then the feed

went dead.

I mean, that's got to be fake, right?

Yeah, a stunt to attract followers?

Wh-Why call us?

Well, 911 had no ID for the supposed victim.

They called NCIS

because the guy's screen name was "NAVYgamer-Z."

Cyber did some digging.

Traced the username to

Petty Officer First Class Ian Rojas.

His apartment is in Bethesda.

He's Navy and he's local.

Well, this video game nerd is about to get

a visit from the cool kids.

Plus McGee.

- Uh... - No offense.

None taken.

Petty Officer Rojas?

NCIS. Open the door.

Lock is broken.

- Ready? - Yeah.

Clear.

Well, no body.

Lots of blood.

And it doesn't look like corn syrup with red food coloring.

Uh, yo.

We got a body.

I think we found our petty officer.

What do you mean, "you think"?

Oh. Okay.

Uh, what are we looking at?

Well, let's confirm who we're looking at.

Oh...

Yeah, that's our petty officer.

And that's a lot of gold glitter.

Hey, McGee, translate.

Don't look at me.

Hey.

Judging by the video,

the shooter was standing

right about... here.

Well, the victim had no direct line of sight to the front door.

He was probably so into the game he never heard

the killer break the lock.

Talked to the neighbors.

They thought the gunshots were from more video games.

Well, this guy was into everything from

zombie shooters to RPGs.

You know, there is nothing

like video game binging.

I mean, it's just you,

junk food and your gaming rig.

Those were the days.

Were?

Yeah, well, I-I, you know, I've got kids now,

Ah.so my free time is at a premium.

But I still got my finger

on the pulse of the video game world.

It's why Gibbs calls me Elf Lord.

- He does. - Prove it. - What do we know?

Well, boss, thanks to our webcam video,

we've got cause and time of death.

Three gunshots at 8:17 p.m.

- Camera see who did this? - No.

Our killer cut the feed.

I'd check the computer for more,

but it's completely wiped.

Whoever did this was techy enough

to cover their tracks.

Body?

After the shooting,

the body was moved to the bathroom...

which is where it gets a little weird.

Glitter.

This stuff gets everywhere.

I swear, Victoria uses it on one craft project,

and I'm picking out of my hair for the next two weeks.

This guy got it worse, though.

Yeah, in addition

to... pouring glitter all over his face,

someone dumped even more

directly down his throat.

Oh, that is the stuff of daddy nightmares.

- Glitter was postmortem. - Yes.

The, uh, three gunshot wounds

to the chest likely killed Petty Officer Rojas instantly.

Everything that followed was

strictly for show.

The glitter, the teddy bear mask...

This looks personal.

- Prints? - Nothing on the mask,

but the name Rojas is written inside.

- Belongs to our victim. - Yep.

Hey, listen, it could be a sex thing.

People are into that.

Yeah, they're called furries.

I've heard.

It's not a sex thing.

That's our teddy bear.

And it's shooting gold glitter.

The video game Killing with Kindness 3.

You play as teddy bears who kill each other

using glitter guns and rainbow grenades.

That actually sounds kind of fun.

I had three older brothers.

You know, I didn't get much Nintendo time in.

Mm.

KwK3is a less-violent third-person shooter

that's more about world building and social interaction.

Here's a silly question.

Adults play this?

This is one of the biggest video games in the world.

And I had no idea it even existed.

Well, you did say you don't play that much these days.

Well, yeah, but I had no idea

I was this far out of the loop.

I mean, this is terrible.

- So is murder, Tim. - Go.

Victim.

Uh, Petty Officer First Class Rojas.

Yeah, he was living two different lives.

One in the real world and the other online.

Start with real world.

Rojas was employed aboard

the U.S.S. Gray as a hull technician.

Metal worker... That's a tough duty assignment.

Nothing but good things from his shipmates and his CO.

All right, what about his other life?

Online, uh, when Rojas

wasn't welding ships halfway around the world,

he was NAVYgamer-Z on his livestreaming channel.

It means he played

video games for money online.

Yeah, our petty officer made more gaming

- than he did working for Uncle Sam. - What?

How the hell does that work?

Oh, believe me, I've asked the same thing.

Well, some of the money comes from online ad revenue,

like commercials.

Some of it comes from subscribers that donate.

The point is our victim's civilian life

was spent entirely online.

I mean, he rarely left the house.

Our body was dressed up as a video game.

So our killer could be a fellow gamer.

Well, find out.

Boss, his hard drive was completely wiped clean.

We'd have to subpoena records from CyberVid Streaming.

Well, do it. If you need me, call.

Wh... Are you leaving? Again?

Why did the colonists throw tea into the Boston Harbor

instead of stealing it?

Good question. Look it up.

They could have sold it on the black market.

Why not get King George's attention andmake money?

I meant look it up in the textbook.

That's not American history.

I'm sorry.

Everybody at school is talking about this video.

And I love NAVYgamer's channel.

And he plays KwK3, which is my favorite game.

Your mom said no screens.

Please don't tell her.

Promise me you won't tell her.

It's all my fault.

No, no, no, no, no. Slow down.

What do you mean it's your fault?

The reason Mom had to leave.

Right?

It's because of me.

That's why you two were whispering.

I'm the problem.

Phineas.

Hey.

Your mom does not think that you are a problem.

Then why is she so scared?

Is my dad gonna take me away?

Good morning, Kasie.

I have bullets and I have glitter from the victim's body.

Ugh, I will never look at teddy bears the same way again.

Those little suckers are violent.

Oh, Killing with Kindness.

- You play? - Uh, no. I watched.

And what started as a little case research

quickly turned into an all-night binge.

I play my fair share of video games, but...

is watching them really all that interesting?

Hell no.

At least, not at first.

But then once I figured out what was going on,

I just... c ouldn't stop.

You didn't sleep, did you?

No.

That makes two of us.

I decided to dip my toe

into the waters of KwK3.

What started as a little case research turned into...

All-night binge.

Got it.

I'm good, though.

I'm a finely-tuned gaming machine,

so...

Kasie, you got an update?

Yes. Because my sleep deprivation was not in vain.

After sifting

through hours of our victim's

past gaming videos, I found his best friend.

FloridaCOW82.

Our murdered petty officer and FloridaCOW

chatted online and played KwK3together

all the time.

You got an ID? No real name yet, but FloridaCOW

is livestreaming as we speak.

Unfortunately, no visual.

This gamer doesn't use a webcam.

Oh, we can trace his IP address.

Hey, easy there, Donkey Kong.

I already did that.

Mm.FloridaCOW is currently using

- a computer in Reston. - Oh, Virginia.

That's less than 40 minutes from our crime scene.

Which means the online BFF could also be the killer.

Our suspect...

- Where is he? - Kasie traced the IP address

to a computer in this building.

Gated community with a private clubhouse.

You know, I'm not really sure what I expected

from a gamer named FloridaCOW82.

Well, not this.

I mean, a juice bar, a sports lounge

and a pool with a lazy river.

Video gamers make enough money to live here?

It's a brave new world.

And if you're talking video games,

you must be looking for Jesse.

Uh, well, that depends.

Does Jesse go by the screen name FloridaCOW82?

Oh, I'm retired.

I do puzzles, not the Interwebs.

But the computer room is right through there.

It was supposed to be for business use,

but Jesse turned it into an arcade.

He and his little friends are in there now.

Ha-ha!

Suck my glitter!

Look out! Behind you, bro!

Frag that teddy bear, Jesse!

Frag him!

Yeah, that's it!

You got to be kidding me.

Excuse us.

You'll have to wait your turn.

FloridaCOW is on

a massive kill spree.

Damn right I am.

Die, you plush suckers. Die.

Ian's death has me in a pretty bad place.

It's everywhere, and it's...

it's awful.

You and Petty Officer Rojas

were friends online, right?

Where you play...

video games.

Tell you the truth,

video games saved my life.

When my wife passed last year, I was a mess.

Sad and lonely.

And then I met Ian in a military chat group online.

Are you Navy, too?

Retired 1982.

Stood duty as chief of the watch on the USS Florida.

Explains the username.

Florida C-O-W.

Ian's idea.

I hadn't played a video game in my life until I met him.

Ian showed me the ropes and got me hooked.

Gaming keeps me sharp and social.

Not to mention, it's a total blast.

You-you should definitely try it.

Have you two ever met in person?

No. I mean, uh,

I know Ian lives in Maryland,

but... we never felt the need to meet up in real life.

Ian didn't have much family.

He called me his gaming grandpa.

Records show the last time you two gamed together

- was the night of his death. - Yeah.

We talked on the phone, too.

What time was the call?

A little after 7:00 p.m.

You had a conversation with the victim

an hour before someone went to his home and shot him?

Yeah.

I didn't realize.

But it's not like I did it.

I mean, our-our phone call was friendly.

Can you prove that?

Hey, Elmer, sorry to interrupt. You got a minute?

Well, make it fast. I'm in the zone.

Would you please tell these NCIS agents

where I was two nights ago?

How would I know that?

Because you witnessed a phone call I had, right over there.

You were doing your puzzles around 7:00.

I asked the person on the other end

to fix our clubhouse WiFi, because it's been so glitchy.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

My phone still has a wire attached to the wall.

But if this has anything to do with

clubhouse equipment, it has to

go through the HOA. It's in the dues handbook.

Yes. That's exactly what you told me when I hung up.

Remember now?

Elmer, please.

Yeah, I-I do remember.

Thank you.

See, the call was harmless.

'Cause then you ran out of here

in a big old hurry.

On second thought, don't listen to Elmer. He's old.

I heard that.

I was hurrying home.

I got lost in the game and forgot to let my dog out.

I swear, I didn't kill my friend.

Any idea who did?

Well, now that you mention it,

I... I might.

How much do you know about mice?

He meant computer mice.

Specifically the Splendifida XRM gaming mouse.

Uses lasers for better response.

Better response means better game play across the board.

All right, chill out, McGee.

You don't have to prove your video game street cred to us.

Even though we just met grandparents who are way more

- plugged-in than you are. - Hey...

I'm not young enough to have free time,

and I'm not old enough to retire.

You're in video game purgatory.

Yes, I know.

Really hurts, huh?

Hey, McGee.

Use that hurt.

Tell us how that super-laser mouse

can help us find our killer.

Server data came back from the streaming service.

I found private messages sent to our petty officer.

Well, it's all been redacted.

Howare we supposed to read this?

Well, I removed all the language that wasn't safe for work.

That's like the whole damn thing.

In summary, the sender threatened to kill

Petty Officer Rojas for ruining his sponsorship deal.

Sponsorship?

Is that like Nike and Lebron?

Well, athletes advertise shoes and-and sports drinks.

Gamers get paid to promote computer equipment.

- Such as laser mice. - Exactly.

Meet DirtybirdD220.

Dirtybird's another popular livestreamer

who used to have a sponsorship deal with Splendifida.

Used to? What happened?

He got caught harassing women online.

Oh, a misogynist on the Internet.

Well, knock me over with a feather.

Our petty officer reported it,

and Dirtybird lost his deal, along with $75,000,

75,000 reasons for murder.

Now all we got to do is ID Dirtybird.

So... what do you think?

Aw. I think you won first place

at the science fair.

Yeah. And?

And I can't believe you never told me about Phineas.

Does the rest of the team know?

Jack, I called you.

Right. About his little breakdown.

Listen, kids are perceptive.

Phineas knows there's something going on with his mom.

Yeah, but she asked me not to talk about it.

Tell me.

How do I help Phin?

Help Phin do what?

I don't know. Feel better.

You are.

Well, whatever I did last night

didn't work. All right?

After he stopped crying,

all we did is talk about damn video games

until he fell asleep.

That's perfect.

Oh, come on, Jack.

You do not need any help.

You are already doing everything right.

Baseball, volcanoes, even talking about video games.

You are present and engaged.

Just keep engaging. That's all Phin really needs.

And I think it's sweet

that you're worried.

You're a good man, Gibbs,

and you're good for this kid.

We're done here.

And Phineas is good for you, too.

Change is good.

Ooh, yeah. Boom!

Go glitter all over your dead-ass face.

Think you're gonna get away, huh? Oh, uh-huh.

Hell, no. Boom! Head shot.

Well, at least DirtybirdD220's livestreaming.

That the guy who threatened our petty officer?

Yeah.

Over losing 75 grand.

Sounds like motive to me. Bring him in.

Boss, we will absolutely do that.

Once we figure out who he is.

And where he is.

He's right there.

Well, uh, technically, yes, boss, but we need an actual

physical location. See, he's masked

his IP address with a VPN,

so we can't trace him like we did before.

We don't even have a real name.

Dirtybird is an anonymous Internet troll.

He's an expert at hiding his true identity.

But I can see him.

We put out a BOLO on his webcam image,

but that's a long shot.

Kasie, you got to give me something.

There is one way we might

be able to locate this guy.

- Yeah. But? - But...

it's nearly impossible, and it's profoundly geeky.

Geeky-er.

Let me hear it.

We join Dirtybird's clan.

The clan is a group of gamers that plays together online.

Point is if we can convince Dirtybird

to host us on his private network,

we might be able to track his location.

Yeah, join the bird thing.

Well, that's not the geeky part, boss.

In order to get a squad invitation,

you have to be good. Like, really, reallygood.

Meaning we need a KwK3gamer

with a rating of at least 250.

Well, fine. What's your score?

Well, after, uh, binging last night,

I'm a...

I'm a 14.

So, uh, it might as well be a dead end,

unless we know someone that's really good

at shooting teddy bears.

I may have a guy.

So, what exactly did Gibbs mean by he "has a guy"?

I don't know. I mean, I'm his guy.

Unless he's got a new guy.

But why would he do that?

You had kids.

You got sloppy.

Hey, listen up. This is Phineas.

Phineas, this is McGee, this is Bishop.

Torres. Phineas.

Uh, th-this is your guy?

But he's, like, four.

Dude, I'm nine.

It's nice to meet you, Phineas.

So, um, how do you guys know each other?

Jethro Gibbs lives across the street from me.

I slept over last night.

Why?

Were you being punished?

Stick to the case.

Oh, you mean the case where we get to catch a bad guy

using video games?

Yeah, that's right.

Well, boss, like I said,

we're gonna need a gamer with at least

a rating of 250 in order to get our suspect's attention.

Yeah, well, Phineas' rating is 322.

That good enough, McGee?

Wow. Okay. Phineas, here.

Come with me. We got a...

we got a new computer here from Cyber.

It's got an upgraded GPU, CPU.

And I've installed the latest map expansion pack.

Cool. How's the Internet speed?

Is it fast?

Well, it's a-it's a government building,

so, uh, speeds may, uh, may vary.

Eh, that's putting it nicely.

The Internet here sucks, kid.

Glitches are bad for gamers.

We need a connection with zero lag.

You heard him, McGee.

Zero lag.

Well, boss, to do that we're gonna need

a private data tunnel with a dedicated server.

Well, and there's only one room

at NCIS with those specs, so...

Oh, yeah, this is sick!

Uh-oh!

Nice.

Right there.

Huh.

Video games in MTAC?

Wasn't exactly what I meant

when I said keep engaging Phineas.

Does his mother know about this?

I left a message.

She said no screens, so you gave him

the biggest screen in the building?

It's about the case, Jack.

Where a man was killed live on the Internet.

He's playing video games, Jack,

with teddy bears.

I'm just saying.

Okay, operation "Catch the Dirtybird" is in full effect.

We sent a request to join the murder suspect's gaming clan.

All we got to do now is wait for him to notice how good we are.

We?

Well, Phineas. And, boy, is he good, boss.

I have-I have never seen so many dead teddy bears

in all my life.

Does his mother know about this?

Just make it work, Tim.

On it, boss.

What?

There you are.

Why'd you call me out here? It's... outside.

Okay. Whatcha doing?

Just soaking up the vitamin D.

You know, appreciating the outdoors.

Mm-hmm.

Found a leaf.

Nature's full of wonder.

Had enough video games, huh?

Eh, we're just tired of the screens.

Yeah, we want something real.

Shh. Is that a bird?

Well, I guess I can give you my case update

right here.

Ooh, would you do that?

I processed the glitter from our dead body.

Dead end.

Turned out it belonged to our petty officer.

Glitter came from a video game T-shirt

promotional giveaway.

What about the bullets?

Much more helpful.

I found heavy oxidation in the bullet striations.

Rust?

Meaning the murder weapon is

a .45-caliber pistol that had not been fired

in a dangerously long time.

And I really want to show you pictures

of .45-caliber weapons on my screen,

but I am fighting the urge.

Mm, God bless you, Kasie.

Suffice it to say if you can find the gun,

I can match it.

We have to find the killer first.

Yeah. Let's just hope this video game thing actually works.

It's taking too long. It's not working.

McGee, is this working?

Absolutely, boss.

We're on it.

Don't lie to Jethro Gibbs.

You'll get in trouble.

Kid, you're preaching to the choir, okay?

But if this plan doesn't work, I'm in even bigger trouble.

So change the plan, Agent McGee.

Instead of waiting for Dirtybird to reply to us,

we go after him.

What do you mean by "go after"?

Trash talk.

Exactly, Jethro Gibbs.

Wait, wh-what are we doing?

Taunting him.

He's a bully, right?

Well, yeah, but...

You ever get pushed into a locker?

You kidding? I was a tap dancer.

Then you know you got to push back.

Jethro Gibbs taught me that.

Oh, wow, he's already messaging us back.

Yup. And he's challenging me

to a one-on-one death match.

What's that mean?

Means it's working, boss.

So what do I do?

- Do I accept? - Yes, yes, hit "accept".

You join his network, I can track his location.

All right, now, this may take some time, Phineas.

I need you to try and stay alive

for as long as you possibly can, okay?

On it, boss.

If that's my mom,

tell her I want to stay longer.

- So this is where our Dirtybird lives? - Mm-hmm.

He's online in the second-floor loft

rented to Dustin Vanderschmitt.

Time to bust some heads.

We're not busting heads, we're bringing him in for questioning.

Have you seen what this creep says about women?

Okay, maybe we'll bust heads a little bit.

That's what I'm talking about.

Oh, hold up.

Here's our Dirtybird now.

Thank you, Phineas.

Sorry about the broken call box.

You know I would have buzzed you up.

Please sign the receipt, sir.

You can still come upstairs if you want.

You know, I accidentally left your tip in my apartment.

Thanks, I'll wait here.

That's a smart move. I wouldn't go anywhere

with this guy.

Whoa, bitch.

Who the hell are you?

Your worst nightmare. A woman with authority.

Oh, this day keeps getting better.

Hey.

Where are you going?

Hopefully upstairs to get my tip.

Don't do it, man. This ain't one of your video games.

Screw you.

Aah!

Oh, no. Oh...

Aah!

I don't think you're gonna be getting that tip.

Oh, forget it, that was worth every penny right there.

Dustin Vanderschmitt.

You are a hard troll to find.

I didn't do anything wrong.

Then why run, Super Mario?

Hey, I-I had nothing to do with that.

I'm not a violent person.

"All these feminists online,

shut up and go have my baby."

"Rape occurs in many species.

It's natural."

No, that's just science.

And none of this is illegal.

Free speech.

"You cost me $75,000. I'm gonna blank you up."

Death threats are illegal.

Especially when you follow through.

No, no, I...

The murder happened two nights ago, right?

I was busy.

So what does a sexist troll do on a Wednesday night, huh?

Typical female overreaction.

See, th-this is why I ran.

And why I don't want to tell you where I was.

You're just gonna spread these lies about me

to the other parents.

Other parents?

You have a child?

Yes. She lives with my ex.

But I don't want to bring my little girl into all of this.

You rather she visit you in prison?

Fine.

I coach her basketball team at the community center.

I was at practice two nights ago.

You coach little girls.

This is a whole lot of messed up.

Oh, whatever.

My lady Tigers are undefeated.

I can prove it.

Hey.

How's it going in there?

Oh, that bad, huh?

Do you need something, Jack?

Uh, Sarah came to pick up Phineas.

I have them in the squad room.

Then Agent McGee

showed me the cyber basement and that was awesome.

And then I got to put on a bulletproof vest

and that was awesome.

They're even going to get me an official NCIS badge.

That's awesome, right, Mom?

So awesome, love.

Agent Gibbs.

Sounds like you two had quite a day.

Jack, maybe you could take, uh, Phineas by the break room,

grab a snack for the ride home?

Good idea. Yeah. Nothing sugary, please.

Sure. No problem.

Come on.

What the hell were you thinking?

You took Phineas out of his after-school enrichment class

to play video games?

Wasn't about games.

Phineas has real talent.

He caught a murder suspect.

I said no screens.

I didn't realize I had to say no murder investigations.

I made a judgment call.

He is a really smart kid.

Don't tell me about my son.

Agent Gibbs, this was

clearly a mistake, and one that won't happen again.

I think it's best if Phineas doesn't see you anymore.

Well, our Dirtybird was telling the truth.

- He's not our killer. - Oh.

So he's just a Internet creep

who coaches little girls.

Well, he's about to lose that job.

Wait, you told the other parents

about him being a woman-hating scumbag?

It's not a lie.

- Nice. - Mm-hmm.

It's a small victory,

because we're back to square one.

Well, hopefully not for long.

Hey, McGee, where have you been?

- Trying to save my job. - Okay.

For the last time, Gibbs is not replacing you.

It's not about that anymore.

I think my video game plan may have cost Gibbs his new BFF.

Phineas?

Yeah. His mother got upset

and won't let him hang out with Gibbs anymore.

Aw, that's kinda sad.

Which is why I'm reexamining this case from top to bottom.

And you solved it.

Well, no. But I found something pretty unusual.

Well, you got something, let's hear it. Go.

Mm. That fancy gated community.

Yeah, where we met Grandpa Gamer.

Yeah, I re-checked his alibi.

He said he called our victim about a glitchy Internet.

- Was he lying? - No.

No, I hacked into the community network

and it is very glitchy.

Reason being all the malicious

code and spyware.

There's been 19 identity thefts in this neighborhood alone.

Who are we looking for?

Well, that's the problem, boss.

I have no idea.

I have no idea if this even connects to our murder.

Rule 39.

No such thing as coincidence.

I agree.

But right now, that's the only lead I've got.

Why is it disappearing?

Well, I'm not doing that.

Someone else must be logged into the network.

And they're deleting code.

Deleting evidence.

Uh, boss, whoever it is, they're not using a VPN.

I can track 'em.

Do it, Elf Lord.

Federal agents!

Put your hands up.

Elmer?

Not the grandpa we were expecting.

Wh... Where am I?

Get your hands up.

Hey. I already said,

I'm on this whole cocktail of heart meds.

Uh, they make me loopy.

I must've wandered into the computer room by accident.

Logging into the network and deleting evidence...

Was that an accident, too?

That razzle-dazzle tech crapola is for kids.

I don't do the Interwebs.

Just puzzles. Right?

I'm old. I'm retired.

Convincing story.

Except you retired

from SwiftCast Communications, where you were

senior vice president

of network technologies.

That's why you can afford to live in a gated community.

Except you can't afford it anymore.

'Cause you are broke.

Stock market's pretty fickle. Plus,

those HOA dues'll get you.

Well, what's this even prove, huh?

Proves you're a murderer.

N-Now wait.

I thought we were talking about computers and networks.

Now, how does that connect me to a murder?

We caught you deleting bad code.

Your code.

Code that was put there

to steal private information from residents.

Well, even if that were true,

that's hacking. That's not murder.

Until Grandpa Jesse started complaining about glitches.

And glitches are bad news for gamers.

Yes, they are.

So Jesse called in his Navy buddy to start looking into it.

You witnessed that phone call.

Petty Officer Rojas

was digging into the network.

Chances are he already found your code.

You looked him up,

found his apartment, shot him.

Agent Gibbs,

do you even know what any of this means?

Node ID?

DNS? DHCP?

No, I didn't think so.

So how are you gonna get a prosecutor or a jury

to understand this technobabble theory?

We don't need to.

While we've been talking,

our forensic scientist

has been processing the .45-caliber handgun

that we found hidden in your garage.

Ballistics came back.

This is the murder weapon.

I'm sure a jury can understand that.

Game over.

So much for Vitamin D, huh?

Ah, they make lamps for that.

Huh.

If my brothers could see me now.

Ha-ha!

Ha. Suck my glitter.

Whoa, potty mouth.

I got more snacks.

My turn now.

Mm-mmm.

Not yet, leaf boy.

Mama's about to mow down the Teddy Bear King...

...and save the princess.

Ha!

Yes.

Ooh.

It's open.

Agent Gibbs.

Everything's here.

Thanks.

Okay.

Listen, I-I should probably explain about yesterday.

No, there's no need.

You set the rules.

I broke 'em.

Yes, you did.

In pretty spectacular fashion.

So spectacular that Phin can't stop talking about it.

Apparently, you gave him

the "most totally awesome-est,

best day ever."

Phineas had such a great day

that we had

a really good talk.

He opened up about... everything.

Like you said, he's...

a smart kid.

Yeah, he's a smart kid.

Loves Mom.

And I don't want to lose him.

Hey.

You all right?

Honestly, I don't know.

Turns out my ex is going to fight the ruling.

More lawyers and money than I'll ever have.

So...

maybe you could keep

Phin's overnight bag. You know...

you know, for next time?

Well, I mean, you know,

until I find a sitter, and...

If you're still willing.

I may not have seen it at first, but...

...you're good for Phin.

Well...

that works both ways.

Thank you, Agent Gibbs.

Jethro.

Call me Jethro.

Okay.

Thank you, Jethro.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

Sync corrections by srjanapala