All language subtitles for Mon.pire.cauchemar.(2011)

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What I find interesting...
- No.

The work of Rebecca Stuart is...

No.

There is something......

- Something? Be more precise.

I mean an evolutionary electrical
installation...

which could be...

No.

This blank screen is, for now,

the most interesting of the whole selection.

MY WORST NIGHTMARE

Can you drive faster,
please?

Please, please.
Quiet please.

Please.
- Maybe if...

Mr. Director could explain
exactly what he proposes.

... then we would avoid a sterile debate.

So I think, personally,
it is very important to discuss

the problem of professional orientation test...

... without becoming personal
and raising competition...

... between the institutions, because

personally,
I think it is certainly useless.

So, We have the 'Berufsbildertest'
that surfaced in the years 60s-70s...

and proposes an approach
more psychoanalytical to the problem.

And then in the 90's ...

A rat or a shrew?
- ... there was the Dolquest...

Do not touch it if it's a rat!
Ah better, leave it in its cage.

It is certainly unhealthy...

...to determine the career choice
of a pupil in the 5th grade...

... because psychological
development is in full swing...

using tests that, for my part,
I think are quite out od date.

What is the redhead talking about?
- A test.

On the other hand...

like everyone else... knows

orientation tests generally are
nothing more than disguised IQ tests.

Can we talk about the food?
Real food.

- Good afternoon, sir...

I am the director of this school.

Ah, you're the big boss.
Forgive me.

Since she was talking......

We must change the food at the school canteen , I say.

... because 5 pieces of fruit and
vegetables, that's for gays.

Children need fats,

unless you want them to end up anemic...

Sir?
- No, I assure you, it's important.

Sir, please.

... can we return to key issues?

Well,...

Excuse me, you are not
interested in food.

You are a skinny shrimp
which only eats plankton.

The kids need to eat.

That feeds the brain. That is the main problem.

You have to feed them.

You don't wipe your ass
before you shit!

Ladies and gentlemen, I propose
we return to the topic

of our discussion,
in particular

the orientation tests.

Mr. Director!

Mr. Bruno will answer you better

Thank you!

Have you seen how I have
defended your IQ test?

That red one was not an easy one.

Again, sir,
it is an orientation test...

It gives us the chance to separate

the mules from the thoroughbreds.

Is her child an idiot?
- What I can do for you?

Yes.. eh...

It's about that stupid woman...
Sorry, uh...

Mrs Leclerc lodged the
complaint against me to social services...

Hey... okay. It is true I spent a few nights...

in the van with my son,
but that was in the summer.

Now I have a place.

Ah...You are 'Mrs. Ramos'??

No, well... yes...

I share a letterbox
with Mrs Ramos

What do you expect from me exactly?

Well, if you could...

Yeah, yeah... if you could...

give me a hand with the
Social Services to intervene on my behalf...

explain that I have become
a different father, responsible...

... who comes to the meetings,

who loves his son...

Adrien?

It's your turn, shoot.

Good afternoon, ma'am.
- Hello

Stop playing immediately.
- We will be done soon.

Have you finished your homework?

Are you playing?

How many have you killed today?

A lot.
- Do you also find this interesting?

Well...The problem is that the

obstacles are programmed...

and at a higher level the choices are limited

So the game becomes
more boring, actually.

Who is intellectual with Adrien?

- Who do you think? A new bricklayer?

Did you call that idiot
to ask when he is coming?

He said: 'If the dust and the noise
are too disturbing for Mrs...

... she may break off the wall herself. '

I'm sure if you think with a bit of method,

you can break down a wall more...

cleanly, right? - I called
three others: all occupied.

I start to ask myself why do we
make children study.

If you want to work, you
go into construction.

You laugh when they say

that the best solution for your child,
is to be a bricklayer.

So... you apparently have not been able to
prevent the professional orientation test.

Well, I tried to make them understand why.
A nightmare.

For whom?

Very funny.

Damn.
- What do you want?

To get my son.
I'm Tony's dad.

Patrick Demeuleu.

Or you can throw him through the
window and I'll try to catch him.

But that is dangerous,
and Toto is not very strong

We have started badly.

Let's start again,
okay?

Patrick Demeuleu.

Agathe Novic.

Come on in.
- Thank you.

That's beautiful... Class.

Easy 200 square meters., right?

You want to measure it?

You are a joker.

I will tell Tony that you are here.

Tony?

Can I help you?

I'm going charge my battery for a moment.

It is empty.

Be careful with your
sockets,

they are worn out.

One short circuit, and
everything goes up in flames.

And everything is made of wood...

Who is that?

It's me...

No...!

As a picture it's stupid.

You are not fat yet, but one
can hardly see you. Crazy.

It is not a passport photo from a vending
machine, it is a work of art.

Patrick Demeuleu.

Fran�ois de Lambreville.
- Pleasure.

The grandfather is here,
the family is complete.

We can celebrate Christmas.

If I were her father, I would
have gotten her at 10.

I'm kidding.

You look young for your age.

You don't say hello, heh Totito?

Is that your new friend?
- Hello.

Is that the rowing champion ?

I do not row...
- But you do.

Tony told me you row in school.

Remo, row, row, row!

He is not the smartest one.

I understand for the IQ test.
Do not insist.

Your mobile phone might be charged?

Do not touch that.
Get your stuff, we're gone.

He is not smart, but handsome.
That can help.

Would you like to drink something?

Well...

No, a friend is waiting
for me in the hallway.

Do not let her wait outside.
- Oh yeah?

Please do not stand there.

Hi.

You are going to catch a cold.

- Have you got an ashtray,
because...

Sorry.

I present you: Agathe, Fran�ois...

Eh... Caroline.

Caroline.
- No, my name is Sylvie.

That's all the same.
All lesbian names.

I was to be called Ana�s,
but my father

reached for record and said Sylvie.
- We don't care.

But at work,
all call me Karen.

Mom?
- Yes?

Can Tony stay overnight?

No.
- Tony, bring my phone.

No, no, no. We already bothered you enough today.

I will not impose on your
generosity. No, no, no.

But the truth is, I will not hide
it would be convenient.

No, because tonight,
I'm on a big project.

Consulting at a golf
course for small people,

you know
- Yes, of course, a mini golf.

But we will be happy to have Tony.

Well, good night.
- Ah then if...

Thank you, really thanks.
- It's nothing, good night.

Fran�ois? Thank you.
- Please.

Goodbye madam.

Can I say goodbye to my son?
- Tony?

Come.

Behave yourself, ok?

Your new friend is cool.

Are you coming?

Fran�ois!

Do you remember me?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Tony's father.
- Yes, hello.

Everything good?
- Everything good.

He wasn't too much trouble?

- Adrien was happy.

Tony is unusual.
He impressed Agathe.

And apart from Nobel there is
hardly anyone who can do that.

Do you have time to drink something?

Well...
- We...

I invite you.
I owe you.

Has your wife ever bitten someone?

We're not married.

That's smart. That's smart.

If you want to get rid of
her, hop,

off to the kennel.

I wanted to thank you for the evening.
With Sylvie, the fat one?

Yeah
- What a night...

I love big tits , you know.

I was well served. I almost choked.

She was a rough one
She had such breasts...

Oh, so...
- Sometimes

in some women with
abundant forms,

there is a kind of.....

something tempting.

- Ever fucked a fat whore?

You know, in my area are some whores..

... but a model with large shapes
is unfortunately not very common.

We get you one?

No, the children are waiting.

Ah, yes, you're right.

Do you have five euros?

Yes, yes.

You see, iIn women, I pay attention to
quantity, not to quality.

I don't care for a quality.
- Ah, yes...

It's my way to participate
in the national effort.

I do not pay taxes,trully,
I do not pay taxes,

but I stuff the sausage in.,
then I can say that...

I make the effort with them.

They should thank me,
because the sausage...

What sausage?

No, no, no, dear,

we were talking about...
we talked about cooking.

Ah. Can Tony come
play football with me?

Ah well...

Yeah
- Okay. We...

Go get your stuff.
I'm coming.

Thank you, Francois.
- Why? No..

Because it's very good what you do.
- Well, no...

Can you also have
him this weekend?

What do you do in life?
- I'm an editor.

You write books?
- No, he publishes them.

Printer?
- Not exactly.

I take care of the writers,
people who are fairly...

How should I say it?

They are unpredictable.

Ah, OK.The others work and you do nothing.

- You could say something like that, yes.

Which is good.
That is a nice job.

Tony, pack your things.
Hurry.

And this is my little nest.

Come on in.

Tony, show him our room.

Come on in. Are you afraid?
- No.

This is temporary.

I am busy
with a few large projects.

I work in construction.

I do all the work.

And if you need something,
I'm good at everything.

Tiling, electricity, plumbing,
whatever you want. Ah, yes...

I have golden hands, me.

Tony, do not forget your sport shoes.
Next to the stove.

Do you want something to drink?
- No no.

Are you sure?
- Yes Yes Yes.

You will find the ugliest flats
in the most beautiful buildings.

Oh shit. Hey
No more tinkering. We're going!

I have to hurry
because I have an appointment.

I am on a huge job.

200 square meters.

In the center of Paris, with terrace.
Ah yes.

Listen, I absolutely
must find an apartment.

Otherwise they will take my son away

and he goes to a foster family. Do you understand?

Yes, but I can only recommend that
you change neighborhoods.

The social housing in the 6th...

it takes a long time and it is complicated.
- No, this is where things happen..

This is where the money is.

I do not know if you noticed, but
Tony has a good head.. And only here he can succeed.

If you have...

pedigree dog, you don't
let him play with mongrels.

With Social Services, I recommend
you better not compare your son to a dog.

You want to stay here so that Tony

grows up in the best environment.

What I can do then
is to write a letter you can send

to prove you are on a waiting list

to the allocation of housing.
- Excellent.

I love the way you type.

It's very erotic.

Yes, yes. It is erotic.
It is as if you caress the keys.

I think the last time

it was my
way of stapling.

That , too.

You love nature, don't you?

I'm sure you walk naked in the forest.

No.
- Have you been riding naked?

No again.
-I rode naked on a pony.. Yes!

It's pretty ugly, eh... Yes
It's pretty ugly and it hurts.

I'm going to disappoint you, because in fact
I am really passionate about trees.

I like to observe them in the fall,

well wrapped up in a thick sweater.

That's it.

As soon as a woman has an IQ of more
than 80, my charm no longer works.

That is not bad because
it attracts more people.

Exactly.
You can not reach to the young people.

They have their own way of reading...

Sure.
- The book has to be read on an iPad,

on the net...
- Oh, yes.

via Skype...
- Oh, yes.

What are you doing here?

Well, Fran�ois asked me
to do your renovation.

What!

That is unbelievable.
- Did you hear the news?

Is this a joke?
You did not ask him...

Marc-Henri won the Goncourt des Lyc�ens.
- Well, if readers like Adrien

voted for him it doesn't surprise me...
- Oh? Did you read it? Did you like?

No, because it has a
circulation of more than...

100000 copies!

and 50000 euros of profits
for the paperback.

And a place of honor in the Book Fair!

Ah, well, great news for French literature.

To celebrate this, I brought
a small jewel

we should try.
It's superb

No, no celebrate, I'll just have water..

Fran�ois.

Sorry.
Fran�ois I need...

to talk to you...

You don't realize it, but
this renovation will take 5 weeks.

Listen...

One: the demolition,

after the demolition,
cleaning up the rubble.

Two: the electricity wires.

Three: plaster.

Four: sanding, painting.
not to mention the sockets,

And a week for your walk-in closet.

Is that all possible with a
minimum of dust and noise?

Yes. Yes, I can also dance
with my lacquer shoes on, as well.

Well, no! Fran�ois, can not
work without creating a mess.

Well, then, I think we'll think about it.

OK.
Do that...

with a good bottle of wine.

Aren't they going to offer
anything to you tonight?

Ah, well...

That is top wine.

That it is. Ch�teau Ang�lus 1982.

A strong aftertaste,
as they say.

Are you a writer?
- Once in a while...

I saw that, you have beautiful hair.

Is that your book?

I like to read.

'Pooja Poonam,

'a Mauritian servant,
who does not speak a word of French...

... goes into service with Henri Fiori,
a great writer in search of inspiration.

He teaches her French thanks to
great classical writers. '

Does he fuck her?

Is he screwing her?

I bet he'll empty his balls...

and find his inspiration again.

Right?

That's how it goes.

Will that take a long time?

Please!

Good afternoon, ma'am.
- Good afternoon.

What is this?

What are you doing here? That is not possible.

- You must be right.

Are you crazy? You are an incompetent!
You are a nuisance!

I don't beleive it!

I'm sorry, I'll cover it!

I'll cover it!

I wonder,don't you have a room,

a basement, somewhere where
I could put all my stuff?

I'll give you the key
to the maid's room.

Does the maid have a room?

- Yes, upstairs.

Come.

No. We bring them straight up.. Come on.

It's better that you come in
the morning when she's gone...

and you leave in the afternoon,
before she returns...

She's a little sensitive.
You need to know her.

Here, help me.

Here, pick it up.

Speaking of pushing....
- Yes?

What about an ice rabbit in bed?

Certainly, it's not always party

...or am I mistaken?

Come on, with everything I tell you.

Spit it out.
How is it?

- It has never been a lot of fireworks.,

but until the birth of Adrien,

the sparks flew off.

What? You haven't fucked
her since since your child was born?

Oh, everything happened very fast.

We used to live in a
kind of quiet and frozen desert.

A little like Antarctica.

Damn,...

that's awful.

No, it's nicer than you think.

We meet with penguins:
People like us, well dressed...

... who talk a lot.

When I was
little, I wanted to become ornithologist...

For real?

Why didn't you study medicine?

Yes, you're right.

Why?

Look closely. Isn't there an old man
you just kick the bucket?

Or say, a Polack
who was deported?

I have looked at everything.

The concierge who lends me the room,
is coming back tomorrow.

That means it's urgent.

I understand,
I have looked at everything.,

I...

If they take my son away, I'll be
like the frog and the tire...

Like in the cartoon.?

If they take away the tire,
the frog loses its color.

Ah, well, comparing your son to a frog,

is not a good idea either.

No, Tony, is the tire.

All right.
- A tire is not good either.

Are you all right?

No.

Do you want something,
a glass of water or...

If you accept a drink with me,
I'll be better.

In addition, he was like a bear!

- How so? Was he hairy?

No, no, I mean...

He said even less than an
ordinary person, if possible.

Oh, right.
- Yes! So...

So I came back to Paris because...

social work is my calling.
My passion are trees and I..

I do not need a forester for trees.

Sure.

You know what you want.

You too.

- That is rare.

Fran�ois.
-- Am I interrupting?

No. Wait, come drink something with us!

Well...
The boys will soon leave.

Oh, but let them breathe a little.

Fran�ois, this is Julie

a young lady who loves trees.

Fran�ois, a man who destroys them.
- Oh...

He's a publisher.

Editor.
- - That is the same.

You destroy forests for stupid

books about arrogant Parisians.

He has a point.
- I also thought that

- You do not look like a lumberjack.

It is true that I know more
about paper than than the trees, but...

I would love to learn.

If you could advise me some reading...

Well, you know you can't learn
nature from books.

I guess...

I see!

push me and then touch me.

Until you get my satisfaction

push me and then...

Evelyne, you would make sure
they do not visit porn sites.

This is not porn,
that is Patrick's favorite clip.

At least, those girls
are in good health.

You got a 9 in history?
- Can't you read?

Hey! Have you seen Adrien's grades?

Not to boast, but
since he became friend with my Toto,

his gray matter is growing...
Bravo!

Would you mind not to wander
in your slip around my apartment?

- You want me to remove it?

I thought I was clear.
I asked you not to work when I get home.

First Fran�ois asked me to have
something to drink with him...

And secondly...

... and I have something to offer you.

Would you like to come with me
tomorrow afternoon to Ikea?

No, I hope it's a joke.

No. Until tomorrow, Tony!

I'll explain. If you want your closet made to
measure,

it will cost you an arm and a leg.

And you will have it in 6 months.

If we go to Ikea, you choose,
in two hours we load it.

... and I will mount it in a week.

Then I'm done.

And then you don't need to see again
my ugly mug in your life

Tempting, isn't it?

It's not my truck.
It's my half-brother's.

He has a car wash in Belgium.
The ad means:

"Come and wash your big car."

Well, look at least.
- I'm looking.

Well,
this cabinet is very good.

Buy it.
I'll wait in the restaurant.

No, wait, wait!
- Do not touch me!

No, wait, because it concerns
the layout of the closet.

It is easy for men.
A drawer for socks and for underwear.

Women need more space.

For panties, corsets,

suspenders...
- You are obsessed.

What? Because I say panties'?

Can't I say that? Panties, panties, panties, panties?

Is that what bothers you? Why?
Are you walking around bare-assed?

Well, put six drawers for my panties, right?

You are an alcoholic.

Is this how you thank me
I loaded the truck by myself?

I love coming to Ikea
Just for the meatballs.

How was Tony's mother?

It's a long story.

Well, you can tell it.

Besides watching you eat like a pig,
I have nothing else to do.

I met my son's mother...

through a corkscrew.

Yes..

So you see, I could have
been a millionaire.

No, I assure you, no kidding,
I could have been a millionaire,

but a bastard stole my idea.

I invented the corkscrew 'Fast & Furious.'

Yes, . Why was it fast and furious?

That is, a corkscrew
which in turn opens the bottle

and
cuts the potatoes.

And Tony's mother,

She believed in me.

And that girl, did she study?

I see what you think.

You wonder how...

an intelligent
child like Tony..

... can have such a stupid father?

Not at all.
- Yes

Not really.

Well, I know that question.

No, she did not study.

She could not because she was ill.

Before she died, she asked me to give
her a child...

and I gave her that.

After her death,

her family came to see me...

and asked me to get lost.

I did not belong.

Did you believe me?
- It's not true?

Of course not!

That is the story I tell Tony when
he asks about his mother.

No, Tony is a child..

I fucked many women in my life...

One day a woman knocked on my door

And she said, 'Here's your son,
fool.' And left.

Tony is the son of the beer, yes.

Good that you told
him the other story.

You give me a compliment
for the first time.

We have to celebrate that.
- There is no one else.

Chestnut?

- The childhood.

The elm?

- The elm?

The mystery.

Hornbeam?

The magic.

Their names are always masculine.

Are trees a male
symbol for virility?

At least those with a conical crown are.

Conical, what a beautiful word.
I am learning.

Conical, like tall
and towering cypress trees.

This elongated shape,

full of sap,
pointing skyward.

The comparison is clear, isn't it?

In a normal man, it is not
like that all the time

you know...

And how far this passion
is going to lead you?

Well, once, an Iranian guru
introduced me to the tradition...

of a tribe of his country.

There, for the purpose of fertility
they tatoo the tree...

on the body of young women.

The roots start from the pubis,

and the branches are
directed to the breasts.

Do you have such a tattoo?
- No.

He painted my
body with henna.

The feeling of that brush,
painting the tree....

... remains the most erotic
experience of my life.

Oh yeah...

Sure...I understand.

Well.
That has to be moved.

That has to be moved.

There must be more room between these two.

There too.

Can you tell me what you are doing?
- I paint.

Is there anyone here able to answer

without being so obvious?

Yes, Joseph Pointeau,
I'm the new designer.

- I asked for a completely black surface.

Here there is only one work:
the Altar of Mapplethorpe.

That, Madam,
is the bottom layer.

Yes, save me the technical details.,
please. Thank you.

Do you know what it is a masterpiece?

A work with so much power and precision...

... that the spontaneity is the
opposite of the approach.

And you think that an almost black wall

is appropriate for its presentation?

Well, I assure you,
after three layers it is black...

But those who saw the wall

or not, will
know that it is white underneath.

Change all that!

Come, Sebastien!

Agathe, Adrien's school.

Hello?

Of course.

Call Fran�ois.

Voicemail.

Your son works for a gang
in the 19th arrondissement.

He gives them SIM cards
in exchange for a payment

... and a phone with
unlimited calling credit.

I did not know he had a cell phone.

We also discovered that he was bribing
the class representative.

He paid him to exchange his

exams in the teachers' room.

Hence the increase in his grades.

It appears that trafficking and bribery

would be
his only illegal activities.

To prevent disclosure

and protect the reputation
of our establishment,

... we will not send him away immediately.

But next year he is
no longer welcome.

The results of the orientation test
are clear:

no capacity for abstraction,
no interest in anything.

We advise him to choose
a technical direction.

Good morning, what do you want?

A glass of Calvados. Huh?

Thank you.

We'll take another one.

Well.

Tony told me everything about Adrien.

It is not that bad.

He pinched a cell phone.

He managed to have good grades.

It was not a bad deal, right?

Ah, well, certainly for you,
it is more of a success, right?

You at least have no worries
for the future of your child.

You may be surprised, but sometimes I
would rather have

an idiot for a son.

So I could get rid of him, yes.

Could send him to a kind of
a school for stupids in Belgium...

and could take care of something else,
take care of myself, for example.

because I also have plans.

Oh, yeah? Which? Besides invading
other people's lives?

Ah... Ms. Congeniality is back.

Two glasses of Calvados and
she brings out her claws.

Two more.

I had a bar

and I
had a lot of plans.

But I was not lucky.
I did not get the money.

I wanted to make the first female aquarium.

A bar with women's aquarium.

A women's aquarium?

Yes! A women's aquarium.

I'll explain. Because the water...
the water is magical.

The water is... is mysterious.

Wait.

Pour water in here.

Look. Do you see a girl
who is serving there?

She is normal, see.

And now look at...

her through the water.

She becomes poetry.

Now imagine it with small fish around,
that turn...

That is universal because
fish can be found everywhere.

I focus on the international market.

- Why didn't you do it?

My bar burned down. but no matter,
I'm going to do it with my half-brother,

He has a car wash in Belgium.

But I do not talk about it.

Otherwise, someone will pick up my idea.

Well, I'm off.

Adrien, do you realize?

He managed to have a telephone
and good grades.

He achieves what he wants
through illegal practices.

His future lies in
organized crime.

You're under house arrest,
no video games...

... and no TV until the
end of the school year.

Done. It's silly, but...

but I don't want to get tired for nothing.

Is she sick?

You have to be stricter.

If anyone can pull it, you can.

Besides the hands, of course.

And even for that,
you lack a bit of grip.

You don't have to be so hateful.

You are not obliged to go to the

award ceremony of Marc-Henri.

Oh, no! And then to hear
you say for weeks...

... that I despise the success of the
person who provides for our life.

I'd rather be tortured than entertain a phony.

He proves that the worse you
write the more you are read.

Don't do that to yourself.
Everyone will get better.

Ah, well, how nice!

Tell me, Tony, did you know about Adrien?

Do you also think I'm a terrible mother?

A horrible mother.That's already something.

What's that?

Gee, horse!

Mr. Demeuleu.

Evelyne?
- Madam...

What are you doing here?
- Fran�ois said

I could sleep here,
then I am closer to my work.

Do you want to take part in the rodeo?

Come, lovebird...
- Do not touch me!

I want to see if you
are a real redhead.

Let me go!

Good morning.

I have great news,
I found a sander.

And I'll do the parquet for free,
as a gift.

I have made coffee. Do you want some?
- Gladly.

Isn't Evelyne here?

- She's not coming anymore.

Thank you.

- Did you hurt yourself?

I felll from the horse.

Yes... No, no bother at all.

I can speak, of course. No, no,
they are playing.

Yes.

Well, well, yes.

Alright. I like that.

I'll call back. We'll talk again.

No, continue.

Secret phone calls?

It's work.

Work...

I have two super-developed organs.

And they tell me that
there is mystery in the air.

No? Is it a girl?

Come on, is it a girl? Tell me.

Look, it was after the award
ceremony of Marc-Henri.

Well, we met again...
- I don't care?

I'm not asking for her social security number.
Did you fuck her?

A real tightrope walker.

She immediately put me
on the verge of explosion,

and kept me on the edge all the time.

The first time...
she has...

What?

It was... It was fantastic.

The fuck?
You're kidding!

You're such a pig!!!

A pig!

Sure, I was used to
the penguins in Antarctica.

Now, it's crazy, I am back in a world
where there are women.

with their mouths, their asses,
their tits.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You are going to live again.
Go on!Go on!

Very good, Fran�ois!

In fact... This woman... You know her.
It's.. is Julie.

Julie? Julie,...

Do you mind?

No, no, no, no, no.

I just want her...
not to be distracted, you know...

from finding a flat for me.

It's just that.

And also...

It will do her good to
do it with an old man.

Yes.

Patrick...
with Julie, that's serious.

Dad!

It would be nice to talk to
Etienne about his novel.

To tell him that you liked it.

I haven't opened it yet.

As if you never talked about a book

that you have not read before.

I need his support on
the Board of Directors.

Can you help me please?

Can you help me?

We need help for the
project with Sugimoto.

Can you talk about it with
your friend, the minister?

Aren't you ready?

What's wrong?

You look wierd.

I'm not going to the reception.
- What?

Why not?

The one time I need you...

I've met someone.

Someone...?

Be clear when you say something.

I'm leaving with her.
Is that clear enough?

If it were a man,

at least it would have been more surprising.

You see, everything is nicely arranged.

Your bag will be packed in five minutes.

Shame. The room is ready.

You won't enjoy it.

The black widow.

It fits you like a glove, huh.

Tomorrow Fran�ois goes with Adrien to the
dentist.

Do you mind doing it instead?

No.

On the other hand, let him also check Tony.

Afterwards you can visit the
Natural History Museum with them.

Isn't Fran�ois here?

- No, Fran�ois is not here.

He met a woman.
He's gone with her.

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry.
For once it is not your fault.

Tomorrow, the dry cleaner closes at 12.

Can you go get the clothes before?

The receipts are on the table
by the entrance.

Damn!

What an idiot. Unbelievable.

Sir, a pastis?
- A pastis, yes.

What a fantastic exhibition

Aah, a small cup, thank you.
- Hello.

Do you like it?
- Absolutely. Thanks.

Good evening. Everything good?
- Fantastic.

Thank you.
- And this! This is bullshit.

Photographing a flower
in black and white...

... because you cannot photograph
a flower in black and white.

No! A flower has color. Life.

It's like fucking with a
top model in the dark.

Since when do you know
something about top models?

What are you doing here?
- I look around.

The drinks are free and I
entertain your guests.

Good evening, madam!

Everything good?

Yeah, fine.

What it is?

This is an art foundation,
not a circus!

If you keep bothering the guests,
I will call security.

Got it, Herr Kommandant!

Your friends are hypocrites.
They do not really love you.

I don't do this to be loved.

Oh, yeah.
They call you a glacier,

who made a freezer a work of art,

that has no soul.
No soul.

Because you have a soul?

A soul full of alcohol

and vulgar talk.

Fuck my soul!
But I'm worried about yours.

How can you stay so insensitive

when you were dumped like an old sock?, eh?

Eh? Tell me.

Do you want something?
- A whiskey.

Ice?
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Agathe.

I'm sorry about before.
- - Doesn't matter.

It is raining.
- Yes, it rains.

Do you really want to spend
the evening in the rain?

Eh?

Please.

Do you have another one?

- Already?

You are going to plunder my package.

Thanks.
- You don't do a half work.

Is everything all right?

Really, is everything all right?

Ah... I do not like whiskey.
It tastes like earth.

Everything is fine.

There's something Russian about you.

A Russian heroine.

Yes, Russia.

Don't be stupid,
I'm 100% Breton.

That's the same.

Russia and
Brittany

suffer from the climate.

They are obliged to
drink to forget.

You are good at ethnology.

I did my military service with the Navy.

I know three things well:

Alcohol, and...

The cheap whores

and geography.

The geography...

And what would you say, since
you are a bit Russian...

... for a well chilled vodka?

- Ah, I would say this is the
man for the job.

Are you okay?
- Yes

Have you hurt yourself?

Hey! I've made you laugh. No?

Yeah
- Good. It's okay, it's okay.

Hey, the shots, the shots...

shots of vodka,...

I am the big truck...

Ah! Help!
It hurts my arms!

Attention!
To the left! To the left!

Oh! Refuelling!

Bravo!
- And now, the horse.

But the other way.
I will...

ride.- The horse must be harnessed.

You have to tame it.

I ride now.
- Attention, you must tame it!

Ah, the rodeo, attention!

Look out!

Look out!

Again, do the horse.
- No, no, no, no.

We're done.

Come on, boss!

Lord! You weigh almost nothing.

A dove.

Light as a dove.

Her head is spinnin, and she
wants to be put on the floor.

Otherwise she will throw up.

Oh no, first let's see if the bird can fly.

Put me down, please.

Agathe?

Agathe.

You're an idiot!
I thought I killed you.

Who are you?

I am the big cat and I am
going to eat the pigeon.

Wait.

The boys!

Adrien, Tony, where are you?

What are you doing there?
Straight to school.

We got up super early!
- Well, it does not hurt for once.

Here, your school bags
Come on, hurry.

Hurry!

What's happening ?

Bye. See you tonight.

It's Wednesday.
?? We return at noon.

Well...see you later.

Mom,
we haven't had breakfast yet...

- Oh, uh... well... have breakfast
in a cafeteria. I'll give you money.

Ciao!

As for last night......

the advantage of... mixing drinks,
is that...

I don't remember anything.

Well, me neither.

In any event, for someone
who does not drink ever...

you are doing well, eh.

It's a gift.

Strike of genius!

It does not surprise me
that they are extinct.

How do you want to procreate
if you look like this.

No, it's true...

A tail and two small legs.

Look how well it's done.
Look at those little bones!

I prefer the mammoths.

No, I have had enough of mammoths.

No, for me the little birds,
are...something new.

May I invite you for
a dinner tonight?

Look...

Ah, sorry.

Hello?

I wanted to know...

how are you.

Well. And you?

I'm sorry.
Everything happened so fast.

I...

I return on Monday.
?? We need to talk.

All right. Until Monday.
?? Have a good time.

Are you okay?
- Yes, I'm fine, yeah, yeah.

You know if you get hooked...

to each tree for
fifteen minutes, we will never finish.

The 'Discovery' course,
seems to be very comprehensive and...

very exciting.

The 'Discovery' course is for kids!

Oh, okay?
- I assure you,

that "The Great Horror",
is much better.

You mean I have to go down
on such a thin cable?

Yes, and this is called Tyrolean.
Do you see that tree over there?

Here are only trees.
- No, the great larch, there.

The big larch?

Well, over here, the Tyrolean zip line

is 175 meters long.

It's the longest in Europe.
Can you imagine it?

Lucky me!

Well, you ready?
- Yes..

Shall we go ?

You know what you look like?
A little koala

clinging to his mother's belly.
Come on!

Come on! Come on!

But let me, dammit!
I'm coming!

Come on, let me!

Let me.

Well. OK.

Ready...
- OK.

Come on, tadpoles.
Lights out.

And sleep, eh!

They're sleeping.

They sleep like drunks.

Well... I...

I'm...

I'm going to my little room, alone,

like a monk.

Eh, you see, I'm right.

That my idea of a women's
aquarium ...

is not stupid.

A woman in the water is
beautiful, she is light.

Of course the shark will ruin everything.

but...

Good evening.

The general opinion,
is that it is a success.

I'm sorry to tell you,

but the black around
the Mapplethorpe...

was blue.

We didn't meet to celebrate
your complacency.

You must perfect
what is perfect.

It was not the paint,
but the lighting.

Then change it!

And there's... a little problem, Agathe.

This morning someone from the
cleaning crew cut his hand..

collecting pieces of glass on the stairs.

Apparently someone
had fun breaking glass.

Carefully chosen guests
to behave in this way, it's...

I think the meeting went quite well.

Yes, yes.
Very good, very good.

I'm going to screw up.

And you know how you scare people
just by speaking to them.

All right! I left my work earlier,

so spare me your absurd compliments.

I do this for Tony.

- That's sweet.

What is the exact nature
of your relationship?

Mr. Demeuleu takes care of his son
and mine.

I give him shelter and...

What Mrs. tries to explain,

but does not say...

is that we are together.

Do you mean that you
are..

a stable couple?
- That's it!

Well... a stable couple,
is a concept...

too vague psychologicaly.

What I am interested to know
is how you measure

the degree of stability in a couple.

That interests me.

Well, you see, it...
is very simple. There...

are series of tests.

In fact, what my colleague...

is trying to say
it's hard to believe that...

But who asking you to believe?

Your role is mainly limited to verify...

that we bring to our children
material and emotional security,

favorable to their development.

The rest , you shouldn't care about!

Eh... psychological evaluation
of child's environment

is part of our concerns.

So you think you are
qualified to evaluate me?

Yeah!
- I am available.

Good. Then we have to check Tony's

living conditions.

If you want to check the
hygiene of my apartment...

...you are welcome.

- Then we make an appointment.
- Yes

All right.
- An appointment for...

next Friday, 14.00 hours?

No, no, at 9 o'clock.

At 9, very good.

You're on my street.

Let's see...

Avenue... Boulevard...

Yes. Avenue Matignon.

Oh! 1050 euros!

1050, right?
So, I play again.

10! 1, 2, 3, 4... Ah!

Free Parking.
Well, I have all the lots.

So, I won.

That's what I call beating your ass, huh?

Ah, sorry.

Oh, hi.

How are you?
- Good.

What did you say to Adrien?

That you had to leave for your work.

He was surprised.

What's so surprising?
- Well, you're an editor, right?

I really do not need you to save lives.

Can we talk alone for a moment?
- - I have to pee urgently!

Children, go to sleep
please.

Good night.
- Good night.

Hello.

Everything fine?

- Yes of course.

How is she doing?

Good.

Yes. Not bad.

But...

she keeps up appearances, right?

Well... She is a Breton!

Made of granite.

Your weekend

how was it?
- Ah, bah...

You know Julie.
She is extraordinary....

What joy, what excitement...

What appetite, what...

What energy.

Save your strength, huh?

You'll need it.

Thug.

I'll be right back...

I've been thinking about us a lot,
you know...

Oh, how nice for her!
She certainly had a nice weekend.

You drink?
- A piscine.

A swimming pool?

Yes, it seems that's the name for this
on the beaches of Saint-Tropez.

A large glass of white wine
with ice. Very refreshing.

What did you think about?

We harbored illusions about our freedom.

We avoided commitments.

Finally...

... we grew apart.

I think it was a mistake.

And aside from Adrien,
we have many things in common,...

we have to admit.
- Well, what exactly do you want to do?

What if...

we get married?

Now?

Well, it's a little late right?

It is a good way to start again.

Instead of passing
to the box 'new beginning'

I would go immediately to Box 'Divorce'.

Did you meet anyone?

No...

Not really no.

What do you mean?

Well, I slept a bit with Patrick.

What Patrick?

Eh... Patrick.

Patrick!

You mean... you and him...

Listen, Fran�ois, I'm not asking you
to give me accounts of your weekend, right?

I do not even know her name.

Julie.
Is she young?

A little...

- Poor thing...

Don't you want to drink something?

I don't want to intrude.

Are you kidding?
It's your house.

You think so?

I can't anymore.

Do you want?
- Yes

We could be more informal,right?

Let me!
- Shut the fuck up!

Adrien!
- Hey, Mike Tyson! Oh!

What is wrong with you?

Are you crazy?
Let us.

Violence is the means of the weak.,
Adrien.

Is it true that you sleep with Patrick?

It does not concern you

and I do not see why...

Be clear when you say something.

I thought that violence was
the means of the weak.

They haven't yet made up,
but things are getting better.

What is the big night
you're getting ready for, eh?

- An evening in honor of Hiroshi Sugimoto.

Sushi-moto? Who is that?

Sugimoto.
It's the artist who made that picture.

Oh, him.

He has not found many people
to put in his pictures.! Huh?

You don't care
being there,all alone,

In front of this large screen
all white, all empty?

It is not a blank screen.
This is not the right word.

It is a screen full of images that you
do not see.

And white is never really white.

I do not understand anything
about your gibberish.

Anyway, I'm going to ask him himself.

Then I'll know what your slit eye means.

You don't want to go out
with the kids tonight?

You could to the cinema, then to
McDonald's

and the arcade..

Maybe it helps them to reconcile.

Why don't you say at once
you don't want me to stay?

You do not call a great
artist a slit eye.

If I say that, it is to laugh.
I love Chinese.

I love the Chinese!

In fact, he is Japanese.

In addition, we are going to talk
about his work and it will bore you.

Rather your guests
will die of boredom if I'm not here.

You know how it will end:

You drink...
... you become rude

and that
doesn't interest anyone.

Yes.
I understood.

The same.

Thank you.

This tomato is red.

Long ago someone called
this color red...

... but I don't have
to believe that person.

From a conceptual standpoint,
I'm colorblind.

Do you think that the conceptual
art of the 21st century...

... will have audience in 2800?

Certainly. As long as the
French are interested in art.

Good evening.

What are you doing here?

You all wonder the same?

Yes, I fucked her.

Excuse me.

You are really disgusting!

I do not allow myself to be scorned
by anyone, except by myself, okay?

Why do you ruin everything like that?

Ruin what? I would have fucked you two or three
more times, and then what?

You would have dumped me like a dog.

I just made it easy for you to do that!

The only thing you ever did in your life
was ejaculate to have Tony.

Are you proud of your son,
but I don't know if you are aware:

he is ashamed to have a father like you!

Good morning, we have an
appointment with Ms. Novic.

She is still sleeping.

- Is Mr. Demeuleu here?

He is gone.
- Gone?

He had a fight with my mother.

- Do they often argue?

When they drink, they get along.

And Tony? Is he here?

Tony is outside, but
I do not know where.

Can you show us his room?
- Come on in.

There it is.

Adrien? Was that a bell?
Who are you talking to?

Excuse me,
I completely forgot our appointment.

No problem

We already know everything

What did you say?

The truth.

You do not know the truth, Adrien.

Children lie.
Whatever you may say.

In fact, the situation is a
bit complicated. - Excuse me...

... are you married to Mr. Demeuleu?

Of course not.

So the situation is simple.

You are not entitled to his son.

But I take care of him.
When his father comes back, I'll give him back.

What do you think? Children
are not lent as DVDs.

We'll start the procedure
for a foster family.

Get his stuff ready.

We will get him at
the end of the week.

Allow me.

Listen, it's urgent!
Let me in, please.

It is absolutely necessary
to talk to the boy.

Thank you.

Good morning.
- Good morning.

Tony, where is your father?

Can you do something so that I understand?

- Do you want me to straighten his teeth?

If you straighten them
like your paintings...

- You are very charming.

And here...it's done.

Did it hurt?

- Where is he?

He's gone to Belgium,
to the car wash of my half-uncle.

Are you leaving them here?

Couldn't you tell me in advance?

Well, I'm very, very happy to meet them.

Go inside, boys.
- Thank you.

I just baked a quince-pear cake.

Sorry, I would have liked to stay longer,

but I am in a hurry.

Julie,

it was pleasure.
- Likewise.

I'll call you.

Nice weekend, boys!

Why did you tell me the horrible things
about her? She's adorable!

Adorable? She is Cruella Devil
disguised as Mary Poppins!

Cruella Devil! What nonsense.
She radiates goodness.

Boys?

- Don''t you have a TV, ma'am?

No ma'am. Julie.

No, I have no TV because I prefer
not exposed to the radiation.

You know that is very bad.

Nowadays there is fiber
optic technology.

Well! Go play football outside.

Do you have ball at least?
- No, but there is a plum tree.

You can climb it, if you want,

but be careful with the branches.
Don't break them.

Damn!

Ah well, I think it's time for herbal tea.

What I can offer you today?

Hibiscus with guarana.
That is good for vitality.

Can't you turn off Druid music?

All right.
I'll put Tibetan songs!

Excuse me, sir. Is this Ninove's car wash?

Yes. Drive in.

Look!
That's the bitch who did not want to pay!

I came in by mistake.

I never asked young lady to wash my car.

- What? Bitch, you didn't like the

washing with a special finish?

I do not question the nature of your work.

It was... very professional.

Do you want to wash cars? Far too skinny.

You will chase away my customers.

What are you doing here?
- Do you know Patrick?

Yes, I know, I know.

All right.
What are you doing here?

I came for Tony.
Social Services, want to take him.

I didn't understand.
- - The child protection wants Tony...

What do I care.

I don't care.

I'll give you Tony. As a gift.

Let me introduce you.

This is Agathe Novic, the
most annoying red-head of France.

You have nothing to do here.

This is my home.
You can not come here. Not at all.

I am the half-brother of Patrick, Snowy,
like Tintin's dog.

You want something?
It's on the house. A Duvel?

A beer, yes.

- So a Duvel.

When we started this place,
we were exactly the same.

We threw up after
the same number of drinks.

We wanted to hit the same guys.

As far as anatomy is
concerned, we measured it.

The same length and thickness,
both at rest and at work.

A horse would be jealous

Let's drink together.

For the lovebirds.

I expected it.I knew
that someday they would take him away.

That's why I went to France.

If you want to keep him,
you have to come back, Patrick.

You're his father.

I'm his father...

Do you know what kind of father am I?

the bar...My bar?

I torched my bar for the
insurance money.

The problem was,
that I was so drunk,...

... that if a firefighter
had not pulled Tony out of there ...

I would now have a little pile
of ash

instead of a Nobel prize.
This is the kind of father I am.

I would rather have
him stay with you....

Anyway...
I'll take some air.

Patrick!

Patrick.

Patrick.

What?
- I have to tell you something.

What?

I need you.

No, you do not need me.

You're just a bit hungover.

You and me...

That's a joke.
It's not going to work.

It will never be.
Because I'm a poor bastard.

I am poison. Poison for you...

Poison for my son...

I am even poison for myself,
for the whole world.

It is better that we leave it here.

Forget everything.

But I do not understand.
Show your butt.

You did well on the interview.

Come on, start again.

Vigorously.

You have an ass, Marie-Claire!

But you don't know to use it!

The hip swing is very important.
See? Swing it!

Look, Ten years in the profession. See?
Come on, warm the car up.

Come on, get it hot.
That's right, get it hot.

What's up,bro?

Well...

You don't look well.
- No, I'm fine.

You don't have to stop
because I talk to my brother!

Listen, I have a better idea.

You know what we'll do?

We are going to work this out
in my office. Come, come.

How are you?
- Good.

Did everything go well
during the weekend?

No problem.

They were adorable.

Why do you look then...

indecisive?

It all happened so fast...

So I confess that I wonder how we got here.

There you go again!

I'm sorry.

Adrien wants to live with us.

I tried to talk to him,

to explain that his smother
was entitled to a moment of madness,

, but he insists.

When will they get me?

At the end of week.

What about my father?

I tried...

but nothing happened.

I wanted to say...

I liked it here.

I have never felt so good.

I also wanted to say...

I'm sorry.

Don't worry.

- No, for Adrien...

chip Traffic and mock exams...

it was me.

And he didn't say anything.

It was hard for him, you know.

You came back?

Is everything alright?
- Yes, everything okay.

I don't have much time...

Come, I'll explain it to you on the way.

But where do you want to go?

I have no idea.

We get in the truck , drive and
see where we end up.

I'll tell you where you'll end up!
Nowhere!

And what should I do?

Stay and wait for them here?

Offer them something to drink
when they come looking for the boy?

But we'll find some solution!
- No, no.

If the social service is on
your heels, you have to go.

We drive south,cross the border

and stop when we are fed up.
That!

But everywhere you'll have
the same problem.

Then we will go further. I'm going to go
where children are starving,

and I'm sure
that then they will leave mine alone.

Hey,you have five minutes to pack.

Otherwise, you will sleep tonight
in a hostel full of lice.

We would have liked to stay, but

as you know, that is not possible.

I don't know anymore.

Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

And when we get rich
we'll send you a postcard,

to come,
huh?

Don't pull such a face.

It's nice to travel, eh?

We go to Spain, to
the bullfights.

we go to Portugal,
to fish for the crabs.

We are going to Italy,
to see the Acropolis.

The Acropolis is in Greece, Dad.

I know, but who cares.

It's a land of sissies in skirts.!

Listen...

I don't like it as well
we have to leave...

So don't pretend.

You're right ....

Oh fuck!

We leave at the right time.

Stop!

Stop!

Dad, stop.
- What?

Oh, shit.

You see...

A red-hair never gives up.

I have a solution that might
fix everything.

Really?

Yes.

Patrick Demeuleu, do you
take Agathe Novic as a wife?

Yes.

By the laws of the Republic I
declare you husband and wife.

Do we kiss?.
Do we kiss?

Go ahead, tell her.

Mom?
- Yes, dear?

Hey... if by any chance,
one day I would return home...

Do you think it would be possible?

But...

of course!

Excuse me, maybe it
depends on you too....

No, you have to discuss
that with Fran�ois.

He wants to decide everything himself.

Sometimes he is a bit macho.
Fran�ois? Macho?

I swear.

From what I see, I guess

you talk about
my numerous faults.

And it seems you have new ones!

So, how does it feel be a father at 60?

If I calculated right,

I will pay for the studies
of this guy when I'm about 90.

My only hope is to die sooner.

In any case, for now it rejuvenates you!

Isn't that right?

20 years we were together,
and when she becomes nice,

someone else benefits.

I feel it moves!

At 6 weeks, you're dreaming!
- No, I assure you, I assure you.

We already have a connection.

I feel he's hungry.
Go fetch some biscuits.

and something salted.

Agathe, I wanted to say,

I was very touched
that you have chosen me as a witness.

Oh, this ceremony is deception,

who could be a better witness?

It's good marriage.

It brings peace.

I remind you that this
is a sham marriage.

Yes, but as your Japanese friend said:

'Nothing is what it seems.'

This changes everything!

- What does it change?

This is my first apartment,
my first 200 square meters.

With my parquet...

my little table to put my keys,

my library...

My wedding ring...

and most importantly...

My wife!
- The door!

No, no, no! My door!

A guy like me with a...

a beautiful woman like you is...

Life gave me a nice gift.

Oh, by the way!

Take.

I don't understand.
- It's for you.

No, no, I can not accept,

No, this is too much.

It would make me happy.

- What do I do with it?

What you want.

You can keep it.
You can sell it.

I would understand.

To sell?
Who wants a photo like that?

Well it's a highly valued artist who

exhibits at all the museums
around the world.

Oh, yeah? And how much would it be worth?

100 euros?

A little more.

500 euros?

No. You could reasonably expect to get...

80000 euros for it.

Is this worth 80000 euros?

Oh fuck!
Thanks.

You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to buy a disposable camera .

and I will shoot pictures of you.

Yes, then go to the market,
I will make posters, tshirts,

and I'll make a fortune.
80000 euros for a photo!

The important thing is that you can
make your project come true.

The car wash in Belgium.

But perhaps I would rather stay
at home now? Huh?

Looking at my photo, taking care
of the children,

making food.

because you have to gain weight
a little, right?

I thought you really wanted
your female aquarium.

You even set your bar on fire.

Yes..
It's true.

What color is it?
What color is it?

It's white.
- Well, no.

The white, white is never really white.

Whiter than white.
- You are ignorant.

A Japanese said that,
Japanese.

I don't give a shit.
- Three beers. Three beers..

Wait.The finishing touch.
Two seconds and it will be perfect.

It's great.

Antisocial, you lose your cool!

Think of all those years of service

Antisocial, you lose your cool!

Fuck!

Holy shit!

What I find interesting
in the work of Renata Paul Jacques,

is his way of mixing staging, autobiography

is combining an autobiography and a documentary...
demonstrating her interest to the situation of women.

... with a view to immigration..., and
the transition from socialism to liberalism.

Hello?

What do you mean
you destroyed the photo?

I give you the chance to make
something of your life

and you screw it up in one night?!
You are worthless!

You're sick!

Of course, disappear!
That's all you can do!

SOME MONTHS LATER

Here, that was the last!

Thank you.

Thank you.
- You're welcome.

So... microwave.

What is your zodiac sign?

Leo.

It's okay.

Thank you for accepting.

Shall I pour you?
- No.

No?
- No.

I already said: I am a new man.

I drank before and I kept saying
that I wasn't an alcoholic,

and now I admit it, and

I keep saying I don't drink anymore.

It's one of the results of the cure.

The cure?

Well, when I asked where were you

I hesitated
between hospital and prison.

or the madhouse...

or the morgue...

Well , no!

It was a kind of hospital....

a bit more fun.

But if I have done all that,
because of you.

- How so?

I did not want to come back
without being changed

What do you mean by coming back?

You are my wife.

Ah, yes.
- We're married.

Oh, that.

Don't do that!

Done!

OK...

Very well.

I forgot something.

I did not invite you tonight
to bother you...

but because I wanted to thank you.

I know that I owe you.

I also know that I will never
be able to pay you back.

When I said that I had
ruined the picture...

Well, I did not tell the whole truth.

Thank you for the meeting.

What's up, tadpoles?

Hey, Dad!

Your women's aquarium
is a great idea.

Can you imagine this at home?

Of course, I can imagine it at home.

Good evening.
- Good evening.

Everything good?

I present you Patrick Demeuleu.

Monique, Pierre, Betty, Francis...
- Good evening and congratulations.

Congrats?
- I'll explain.

I have to show you something.

Come.

Don't you like it?

Yes.

I love it!

PATRICK DEMEULEU
'DESTROYED SUGIMOTO'
(Red marker on silver paper, 2010)

Isn't it a bit vulgar?

No.

Not at all.

I wonder if I did not like you more
when you were more reserved.

Shut up!

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