Original subtitles

My name is Leopold D’Arpajon

and I’m sort of a therapist.

A specialized therapist.

How are you doing today?

Good. My husband gets home tomorrow. We are all happy.

We?

I don’t remember hearing that you have children.

Bimbo, Muslin and Cherry.

They’re pussycats.

My activities aren’t classic

And I found her there, in the straw. She was dead.

She was so beautiful alive. White and green.

You know, parrots make a lot noise but they’re so cute.

What am I going to do now?

I only have two males left.

Have you found an occupation?

This one is raspberry, that one chocolate and this one is banana-coconut, my favorite.

These are vanilla, pistachio and caramel.

You want a taste?

I too have something that will give you pleasure.

Want to see?

With pleasure.

Banana. Strawberry. Bubble-gum. Mint. And Tutti-Frutti.

Have a preference?

My working nights begin so and continue like an endless adventure.

One thousand and one impenetrable nights.

Yes I am a particular kind of psychologist.

The doctor of love.

I heal broken hearts, the wounds that mark us with age.

I give comfort where that fucking emptiness has settled.

I am the essence of pleasure.

The smooth talker. The magician.

The illusionist of love.

I give them the strings,

I am their puppet, their bearded Barbie,

the luxury product we buy and throw away after wear.

I am an escort boy.

Yes.

Room service.

Come in.

Thank you.

To love.

To love.

Meet next week? Same time and place?

No.

Divine wounds. Must we heal all?

You’ll understand my decision at the end.

My therapy is done. Thank you for everything Leopold.

At your service.

My D’Arpajon brother I will just never understand you.

How can you look at such horrors in the morning?

A vaginal swab is an operation that consists in spreading on a glass slide a cellular sample…

of the pussy.

Give it back.

It’s disgusting.

You don’t like pussy any more Raph? You want to talk about it.

No. What’s disgusting is your stuff dribbling all over the eggs.

My ‘stuff’ is a cucumber beauty mask.

There’s nothing dirty about it.

There’s your acne under it.

JB why do you look at vaginas so early in the morning?

I’m going to do my first vaginal swab.

And who’s getting their pussy swabbed?

Giovani!

Use the opportunity to pop your cherry.

Cucumber flavored scrambled eggs.

Ok I counted twice and we don’t have enough money to pay rent this month.

And we have to pay the electricity before they cut us off.. again.

These scrambled eggs are excellent.

I’ll help you.

No no no that bothers me , I don’t like it.

What the cucumbers? No, they’re delicious! Try them.

I’ll cover what we’re missing.

That!

What?

I don’t want you to pay for us.

You guys will pay me back.

Do you know how much we owe you?

Actually we’re wondering where you’re getting the money from.

Tips.

Seriously you have to tell me how you do it.

I don’t have a prepubescent teenager face.

Fuck off Leopold.

Get fucked up the ass Raph.

I already offered him worse.

Yeah… Fuck you guys.

Raph, are you gay?

Raph! You’re gay?!

Yes I am a glutton.

Bulimic of love and treats.

Always looking for different tastes. Nobody know my vice.

Except…

Not bad.

My days follow each other and all look alike.

I take care of my body, how I look.

Room Blue King.

Is the coast clear?

It is now 5pm

No

It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other.

Hotel Galantin. Jennifer manager hello.

Oh yes Marianne.

Yeah no, listen I don’t know.

Yes. Tell him to grab a rag and wipe himself off.

Have you worked well lately?

Yeah.

3 clients. A saint, an SM and a banal one.

Thank you. That’s it?

It’s the usual Jen.

Wait don’t take me for a fool.

What am I going to say to Emilio? Taxes have gone up again, fucking president.

I have three kids and a dog to feed. You know how much the vet costs?

And 3 kids who eat for 6. Oh wait no you don’t have kids so you don’t know what it’s like.

Luckily they don’t go to the vet. And Kimberly who will soon have her period.

You know how much a gynecologist costs?

Jen, your daughter is 5 years old.

Yeah well kids are more and more precocious these days.

Ask my brother.

He’s a student.

In gynecology.

He’s a student.

He’s going to be huge. Trust me.

He’s a student

And soon he will be too expensive for you. Enjoy, you know how to do that well right

Good accounts make good friends. Is he good-looking? Your brother.

Yeah, he’s even very good-looking.

What’s that?

A banana-coconut cupcake.

You know where you can shove that cupcake?

No thank you, I’ll pass.

You like that coco-banana huh.

Shut up Jen.

Listen Jean-Paul.

Leopold!

Yeah same thing.

I have a client for you downstairs.

Sorry, I have a meeting with the goose that lays golden eggs.

She’ll have to be patient.

It’s not going to be possible.

He’s been at the bar for an hour.

He’s very sexy, and I’m sure he’s the type that likes to get shagged.

Good evening.

What’s your price?

Six hundred.

Expensive.

Overpriced.

It makes your charm.

What’s your fantasy?

Is there a problem?

Can you take a shower?

OK.

What are you doing?

I’m taking this hostage. See you soon.

Good.

Jean-Baptiste, I already told you to leave your phone in your locker.

Sorry.

Sorry, pardon me. It’s my brother, just one second.

Hello.

It’s me.

Sorry it’s urgent.

Why are you talking so softly?

Get off the phone.

I’m going to disappear.

Ok I have to leave you. Talk tomorrow.

I’m really sorry, that was my pain in the ass of a brother.

I’m sorry.

What?

I need you to do me a favor.

Are you sick?

No.

Last time you asked me for a favor we were eight years old, you had a fever

and you thought Santa Claus was going to slit your throat.

You have to replace me.

Excuse me?

I can’t miss this meeting.

Me take your place?

Be at the Galantin in one hour.

A client will be waiting at the restaurant in the private room, table one hundred and one.

Leo, they’re going to know I’m not you.

Promise me you’ll be there.

Leo you’re freaking me out seriously.

And ask Gio to remove my website.

The code is Dad’s name.

What website?

Gigolo. Escort Boy. Prostitute.

It’s also being the bandit of love and our liberty has a short life span.

My therapy is done. Thank you for everything Léopold.

At your service.

It’s often very difficult to appreciate your golden prison.

But sometimes, one simple ingredient suffices to bring some taste back.

Hello? Hello?

I’m starting to get bored.

Hello? Leo?

Bye.