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1
00:00:02,333 --> 00:00:04,342
Y'know, because we've been
together for 3 months.
2
00:00:04,426 --> 00:00:05,546
It's been 6.
3
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,216
But I'm glad we feel the same
way about anniversaries.
4
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,400
- Lame.
- Lame.
5
00:00:09,484 --> 00:00:11,501
So can I get that Ho-Ho back or...?
6
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:15,939
6 months of dating.
7
00:00:16,023 --> 00:00:17,690
That beats my record by...
8
00:00:17,774 --> 00:00:18,776
6 months.
9
00:00:18,860 --> 00:00:21,033
Your dad won't stop raving
about Tina at the restaurant.
10
00:00:21,117 --> 00:00:23,486
I try to not let it affect
my performance at work,
11
00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:25,045
but it does.
12
00:00:25,129 --> 00:00:26,146
What does your mom think of Tina?
13
00:00:26,230 --> 00:00:27,432
Thankfully, they haven't met yet.
14
00:00:27,516 --> 00:00:28,816
There's no way they'd ever get along.
15
00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:30,535
They both have strong personalities.
16
00:00:30,619 --> 00:00:31,989
I prefer a strong woman.
17
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,346
Physically I mean.
18
00:00:33,430 --> 00:00:36,241
Like she could lift a car off
me after a real bad accident.
19
00:00:36,325 --> 00:00:37,925
The only strong woman my mom likes
20
00:00:38,009 --> 00:00:39,214
is the singer Amy Grant.
21
00:00:39,298 --> 00:00:41,446
And only because she can
silence her on command.
22
00:00:41,530 --> 00:00:42,763
So what happens when they do meet?
23
00:00:42,847 --> 00:00:43,630
They won't.
24
00:00:43,714 --> 00:00:44,716
I can't take the chance
25
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,141
my mom will ruin my relationship.
26
00:00:46,225 --> 00:00:47,652
She ruins everything I like...
27
00:00:47,736 --> 00:00:49,303
Well, I'm off to see "Fight Club."
28
00:00:49,387 --> 00:00:50,655
No R-rated movies.
29
00:00:50,739 --> 00:00:53,658
Besides I heard Brad Pitt's
character is imaginary.
30
00:00:53,742 --> 00:00:55,442
That's just lazy writing.
31
00:00:56,979 --> 00:00:59,379
Hey, where's the creamy filling?
32
00:00:59,463 --> 00:01:00,880
Oh, I took it. You don't need it.
33
00:01:01,817 --> 00:01:03,974
Ma, what the hell did you
do to my N.W.A. shirt?
34
00:01:04,058 --> 00:01:06,058
_
35
00:01:07,958 --> 00:01:10,468
Yeah, my mom and Tina can never meet.
36
00:01:10,552 --> 00:01:12,893
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
37
00:01:12,977 --> 00:01:14,061
? Fresh off the boat ?
38
00:01:14,145 --> 00:01:15,762
? I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ?
39
00:01:15,846 --> 00:01:17,847
? If you don't know,
homey, now you know ?
40
00:01:17,931 --> 00:01:19,174
? Fresh off the boat ?
41
00:01:19,258 --> 00:01:21,668
? Homey, you don't know
where I come from ?
42
00:01:21,752 --> 00:01:23,004
? But I know where I'm goin' ?
43
00:01:23,088 --> 00:01:24,543
? I'm fresh off the boat ?
44
00:01:30,127 --> 00:01:31,445
Working out some stress, Mommy?
45
00:01:31,529 --> 00:01:34,874
I'm warming up for my new
school administration class.
46
00:01:34,958 --> 00:01:36,150
Discipline.
47
00:01:36,234 --> 00:01:38,482
Writing I'm a rightie,
slapping I'm a leftie.
48
00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:40,721
I hope it's as rewarding
as my new Drama class.
49
00:01:40,805 --> 00:01:41,915
We're exploring our emotions.
50
00:01:41,999 --> 00:01:43,223
I can cry on command.
51
00:01:43,307 --> 00:01:44,958
I think about tulips wilting!
52
00:01:45,042 --> 00:01:46,093
Speaking of emotions,
53
00:01:46,177 --> 00:01:48,275
Trent tells me you and
Tina are going strong.
54
00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:50,998
Young love makes my heart skip a beat.
55
00:01:51,082 --> 00:01:52,833
I hope that's what it is.
56
00:01:52,917 --> 00:01:53,800
Love?
57
00:01:53,884 --> 00:01:54,771
Please.
58
00:01:54,855 --> 00:01:56,691
Me and Tina just bump into
each other sometimes.
59
00:01:56,775 --> 00:01:58,805
But, you know, I bump
into a lot of people.
60
00:01:58,889 --> 00:02:01,875
Long limbs, narrow
hallways, you do the math.
61
00:02:01,959 --> 00:02:03,844
So, Evan, anything new with you?
62
00:02:03,928 --> 00:02:05,345
Anybody?
63
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:06,480
Big G?
64
00:02:06,564 --> 00:02:08,415
Thank you for your interest, Edwyn.
65
00:02:08,499 --> 00:02:10,284
Grandma and I are going to explore
66
00:02:10,368 --> 00:02:11,985
the ancient art of meditation.
67
00:02:12,069 --> 00:02:14,154
Ugh. Meditation is just an expensive way
68
00:02:14,238 --> 00:02:15,222
to cross your legs.
69
00:02:15,306 --> 00:02:16,823
I've reached a point in my life
70
00:02:16,907 --> 00:02:18,392
where I would like to de-stress
71
00:02:18,476 --> 00:02:20,400
and enhance my self-awareness.
72
00:02:20,484 --> 00:02:23,353
_
73
00:02:23,437 --> 00:02:24,698
Fascinating.
74
00:02:24,782 --> 00:02:26,753
So we should continue
talking about other people.
75
00:02:26,837 --> 00:02:28,335
Dad, you're a happening guy.
76
00:02:28,419 --> 00:02:29,436
What's new with you?
77
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,169
Well, let's see...
78
00:02:31,253 --> 00:02:34,541
Ooh, at the restaurant,
we're introducing...
79
00:02:35,317 --> 00:02:38,118
...new napkins.
80
00:02:40,956 --> 00:02:42,055
Time to go.
81
00:02:43,752 --> 00:02:45,552
See ya, Dad. Enjoy those napkins.
82
00:02:45,636 --> 00:02:48,488
I will! Because that's my thing.
83
00:02:50,192 --> 00:02:52,226
Napkins.
84
00:02:53,511 --> 00:02:54,962
Hey, how about
85
00:02:55,046 --> 00:02:57,464
instead of studying the French
Revolution at your house,
86
00:02:57,548 --> 00:02:58,765
we can go to the mall
87
00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:00,601
and experience French
culture at Au Bon Pain?
88
00:03:00,685 --> 00:03:02,603
You're trying to get out of studying.
89
00:03:02,687 --> 00:03:03,770
Je guilty.
90
00:03:03,854 --> 00:03:05,772
Tell you what.
91
00:03:05,856 --> 00:03:08,709
To mix it up, how about we
study at your place this time?
92
00:03:08,793 --> 00:03:10,877
Uh... uh, I wish we could,
93
00:03:10,961 --> 00:03:12,913
but... my house is being fumigated.
94
00:03:12,997 --> 00:03:13,997
Again?
95
00:03:14,081 --> 00:03:15,317
You said that last week.
96
00:03:15,401 --> 00:03:17,896
I was looking forward to
finally meeting your mom.
97
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,219
Well, you've met my dad,
98
00:03:19,303 --> 00:03:21,964
and he's basically just my
mom with shorter hair so...
99
00:03:22,048 --> 00:03:23,924
You don't want me to meet
your mother, do you?
100
00:03:24,008 --> 00:03:25,259
I'd love nothing more!
101
00:03:25,343 --> 00:03:28,095
Alas, she's... out of town.
102
00:03:28,179 --> 00:03:29,449
Indefinitely.
103
00:03:29,533 --> 00:03:31,097
Eddie!
104
00:03:32,623 --> 00:03:34,043
Isn't that your mom over there?
105
00:03:34,127 --> 00:03:35,068
Eddie! Calling your name.
106
00:03:35,152 --> 00:03:36,403
A lot of ladies call my name.
107
00:03:36,487 --> 00:03:37,803
You'll have to get used to that.
108
00:03:37,887 --> 00:03:39,357
Eddie, hurry up!
109
00:03:39,441 --> 00:03:41,092
You've got to get home
and clean your room.
110
00:03:41,176 --> 00:03:43,433
It smells like gym socks and ham!
111
00:03:43,517 --> 00:03:44,540
You know what?
112
00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:46,254
I forgot I'm supposed to
let the fumigator in.
113
00:03:46,338 --> 00:03:47,741
He takes it personally if I'm late.
114
00:03:47,825 --> 00:03:49,507
Dude's sensitive. Like a
lot of fumigators are.
115
00:03:49,591 --> 00:03:50,998
I'll call you later!
116
00:03:54,221 --> 00:03:56,731
Each napkin has a different
Orlando landmark.
117
00:03:56,815 --> 00:03:59,811
Look, it's Lake Apopka.
118
00:03:59,895 --> 00:04:01,662
At one time, Florida's
most polluted lake.
119
00:04:01,746 --> 00:04:03,182
Every napkin has a story.
120
00:04:03,266 --> 00:04:04,865
Just like the spills they clean up.
121
00:04:04,949 --> 00:04:05,917
Beautiful.
122
00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:07,934
Hmm.
123
00:04:11,941 --> 00:04:14,492
I hope you're not a spy for
the health department.
124
00:04:15,693 --> 00:04:17,210
Seriously, Evan got grounded for that.
125
00:04:17,294 --> 00:04:18,946
We're learning about the hero's
journey for Drama class.
126
00:04:19,030 --> 00:04:20,614
I'm shadowing you for a character study.
127
00:04:20,698 --> 00:04:21,532
Oh, good choice!
128
00:04:21,616 --> 00:04:23,317
I'm always journeying like a hero.
129
00:04:23,401 --> 00:04:24,818
Did I mention the new napkins?
130
00:04:24,902 --> 00:04:27,187
Heck yeah you did! I've been
thinking about them all day!
131
00:04:27,271 --> 00:04:28,521
I love napkins!
132
00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:30,730
I'm sorry, Dad.
133
00:04:30,814 --> 00:04:33,077
We haven't had the class
on fake enthusiasm yet.
134
00:04:33,161 --> 00:04:34,557
Oh. That's alright.
135
00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:37,164
Who am I kidding? Nobody
cares about napkins.
136
00:04:37,248 --> 00:04:39,132
I'm gonna collect the whole set!
137
00:04:39,216 --> 00:04:41,702
I mean, I love this place,
138
00:04:41,786 --> 00:04:43,070
but I'm feeling kind of restless.
139
00:04:43,154 --> 00:04:46,824
I just turned 40, Cattleman's
practically runs itself.
140
00:04:46,908 --> 00:04:47,992
This may be my last chance
141
00:04:48,076 --> 00:04:49,609
to roll the dice on something new.
142
00:04:49,693 --> 00:04:52,112
I get it. You're looking for
your "call to adventure."
143
00:04:52,196 --> 00:04:53,730
Last time I answered
a call to adventure,
144
00:04:53,814 --> 00:04:55,199
my identity got stolen.
145
00:04:55,283 --> 00:04:56,650
Never give anyone your social.
146
00:04:57,752 --> 00:04:59,036
I want to find my next big thing,
147
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:00,574
but I just don't know where to start.
148
00:05:00,658 --> 00:05:02,469
What if you took an aptitude test?
149
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:03,952
We took one for school,
and guess what they said
150
00:05:04,036 --> 00:05:05,758
my personality was best suited for?
151
00:05:06,453 --> 00:05:07,419
Acting!
152
00:05:07,503 --> 00:05:08,576
- Really?
- Yes!
153
00:05:08,660 --> 00:05:10,030
And it only takes 20 minutes.
154
00:05:10,114 --> 00:05:11,098
45 if you're Eddie.
155
00:05:11,182 --> 00:05:12,383
Let's do it!
156
00:05:14,135 --> 00:05:15,369
Sorry, just looking for...
157
00:05:15,453 --> 00:05:16,603
Found her!
158
00:05:16,687 --> 00:05:17,922
Orange County Convention Center!
159
00:05:18,006 --> 00:05:20,307
Yes! I got all the convention centers!
160
00:05:21,425 --> 00:05:23,410
? Stop for a minute ?
161
00:05:23,494 --> 00:05:25,345
? Baby, I'm so glad you're mine ?
162
00:05:25,429 --> 00:05:26,931
Oh, Amy Grant.
163
00:05:27,015 --> 00:05:28,482
I think it, and you sing it.
164
00:05:29,381 --> 00:05:31,618
I'll be in Grandma's room
practicing mindfulness.
165
00:05:31,702 --> 00:05:32,937
If you need me,
166
00:05:33,021 --> 00:05:34,937
maybe stop for a second and think,
167
00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:36,556
"Do I really need anything?"
168
00:05:40,982 --> 00:05:42,882
Hello, Mrs. Huang. I'm Tina.
169
00:05:43,661 --> 00:05:44,765
I thought it was time we met.
170
00:05:44,849 --> 00:05:47,234
Well, if it isn't
171
00:05:47,318 --> 00:05:50,570
the mysterious,
overly-confident girlfriend.
172
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:53,073
I prefer to think of myself
as your son's better half.
173
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,008
Three-quarters, really.
174
00:05:55,779 --> 00:05:56,735
I did it...
175
00:05:56,819 --> 00:05:59,345
7 animals, 1 sandwich.
176
00:06:02,384 --> 00:06:04,136
We flew too close to the sun, my friend.
177
00:06:06,654 --> 00:06:08,388
Tina, what a pleasure to meet you.
178
00:06:08,472 --> 00:06:10,148
The pleasure is all mine.
179
00:06:10,232 --> 00:06:12,740
Eddie's been dying for
us to meet, right?
180
00:06:12,824 --> 00:06:14,669
Yes! Tina, Ma. Ma, Tina.
181
00:06:14,753 --> 00:06:16,090
You've met. Uh, let's go to a movie!
182
00:06:16,174 --> 00:06:17,338
You're not wearing pants.
183
00:06:17,422 --> 00:06:18,922
It's a look. Let's go!
184
00:06:19,006 --> 00:06:20,829
Nobody's going anywhere.
185
00:06:21,662 --> 00:06:23,250
I'm gonna take this opportunity
186
00:06:23,334 --> 00:06:26,220
to get to know your special
little friend person.
187
00:06:26,304 --> 00:06:27,440
That's why I'm here.
188
00:06:27,524 --> 00:06:30,497
To get to know your special
little mother. Person.
189
00:06:33,806 --> 00:06:35,290
Your presence is not required.
190
00:06:35,374 --> 00:06:37,188
Why don't you get some air?
191
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,160
You know, because of all the fumigation.
192
00:06:39,244 --> 00:06:41,178
Yeah, s... sounds good.
193
00:06:41,262 --> 00:06:43,322
Great. Hella cool. T-t-t-t-totally.
194
00:06:43,406 --> 00:06:44,481
So... Oh, God, no.
195
00:06:45,217 --> 00:06:47,001
Now that you're here,
196
00:06:47,085 --> 00:06:48,036
without calling,
197
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,570
I'd be delighted to hear
198
00:06:49,654 --> 00:06:51,339
your intentions toward my son.
199
00:06:51,423 --> 00:06:53,107
And I'd be delighted to hear
200
00:06:53,191 --> 00:06:55,243
your intentions toward my boyfriend.
201
00:06:59,747 --> 00:07:01,029
No!
202
00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:03,707
This is perfect, Dad.
203
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,320
The test said you're
social, enterprising,
204
00:07:05,404 --> 00:07:06,988
and we all know you love hair.
205
00:07:07,072 --> 00:07:08,548
You're a natural barber.
206
00:07:08,632 --> 00:07:11,292
A fine coiffure is a
man's God-given right.
207
00:07:11,376 --> 00:07:12,643
Oh, well, just take a
quarter inch off the top.
208
00:07:12,727 --> 00:07:13,777
Or maybe even less.
209
00:07:13,861 --> 00:07:15,445
How about you just comb it?
210
00:07:15,529 --> 00:07:16,685
Don't worry, I cut Brian's hair,
211
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:17,699
and it looks great.
212
00:07:17,783 --> 00:07:18,800
I'm a slow grower.
213
00:07:18,884 --> 00:07:20,868
This will take months to fill in.
214
00:07:22,436 --> 00:07:24,739
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
215
00:07:24,823 --> 00:07:26,857
I just love it! Very flattering.
216
00:07:26,941 --> 00:07:28,908
Very flattering. Great job, Lou.
217
00:07:28,992 --> 00:07:29,942
Oh, I haven't started.
218
00:07:30,026 --> 00:07:31,128
That's why you're the best.
219
00:07:31,212 --> 00:07:33,163
It doesn't look "done."
220
00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:36,684
I don't know.
221
00:07:36,768 --> 00:07:38,635
This isn't as fulfilling as I'd hoped.
222
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,355
Maybe barbarism isn't for me.
223
00:07:40,439 --> 00:07:42,272
You did a great job on
my five o'clock shadow.
224
00:07:42,356 --> 00:07:43,373
Thanks, Trent.
225
00:07:43,457 --> 00:07:45,460
My talent isn't in question.
226
00:07:45,544 --> 00:07:47,444
Let's just say, I have the
skill, but not the will.
227
00:07:47,528 --> 00:07:48,946
That's me and making baklava.
228
00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:50,765
Besides, Orlando already has
229
00:07:50,849 --> 00:07:53,075
a surprising number of
barbers per capita.
230
00:07:53,159 --> 00:07:54,769
The Caribbean-adjacent crosswinds
231
00:07:54,853 --> 00:07:56,863
are basically rocket
fuel for hair follicles.
232
00:07:56,947 --> 00:07:58,873
You sure know your Orlando facts.
233
00:07:58,957 --> 00:08:00,541
You know what? I do.
234
00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:01,576
Hey.
235
00:08:01,660 --> 00:08:04,194
I forgot to tip you, buddy.
236
00:08:04,278 --> 00:08:05,495
People are lovin' it!
237
00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:11,224
One more inhale.
238
00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:14,822
And as you exhale,
239
00:08:14,906 --> 00:08:18,359
feel yourself relax into your moment...
240
00:08:18,443 --> 00:08:20,695
of deepest... calm.
241
00:08:20,779 --> 00:08:21,578
Armageddon!
242
00:08:21,662 --> 00:08:22,593
- Aah!
- Aah!
243
00:08:22,677 --> 00:08:24,815
I was just about to sink
into my ocean of truth.
244
00:08:24,899 --> 00:08:25,828
Who cares?!
245
00:08:25,912 --> 00:08:27,751
Mom and Tina are meeting
for the first time!
246
00:08:27,835 --> 00:08:28,955
We're at DEFCON 5!
247
00:08:29,039 --> 00:08:30,872
Uh, I think you mean DEFCON 1?
248
00:08:30,956 --> 00:08:32,641
DEFCON 5 means peacetime.
249
00:08:32,725 --> 00:08:34,691
What sense does that make?
250
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,611
5 should be worse than 1.
251
00:08:36,695 --> 00:08:38,603
Focus! Two heavyweights are in the ring.
252
00:08:38,687 --> 00:08:40,815
It's like Roe versus Wade in there!
253
00:08:40,899 --> 00:08:42,083
I need to hear what they're saying.
254
00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:44,001
Does anyone have a glass so I
can listen through the wall?
255
00:08:44,085 --> 00:08:46,057
That only works in the movies.
256
00:08:46,141 --> 00:08:48,672
Just eavesdrop through the air vent
257
00:08:48,756 --> 00:08:50,974
like a normal person.
258
00:08:54,412 --> 00:08:55,445
Sounds heated.
259
00:08:55,529 --> 00:08:57,432
Guess it's back to kissing my pillow.
260
00:08:57,516 --> 00:08:58,781
Which I never did, ever.
261
00:08:59,591 --> 00:09:00,957
My money's on Mommy!
262
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:01,861
_
263
00:09:01,945 --> 00:09:05,942
_
264
00:09:06,026 --> 00:09:07,999
_
265
00:09:08,083 --> 00:09:10,027
Oh, my God.
266
00:09:10,111 --> 00:09:11,794
They've gone full "Road House."
267
00:09:13,447 --> 00:09:18,039
_
268
00:09:20,939 --> 00:09:22,072
What happened? Who's hurt?
269
00:09:25,877 --> 00:09:27,028
We're fine.
270
00:09:27,112 --> 00:09:29,352
Turns out your mom and I
have a lot in common.
271
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,982
We're both no-nonsense,
goal-orientated women
272
00:09:32,066 --> 00:09:33,234
with a common enemy...
273
00:09:33,318 --> 00:09:34,569
- The sun!
- The sun!
274
00:09:34,653 --> 00:09:35,837
Tina is great.
275
00:09:35,921 --> 00:09:38,350
She's not a dud like all
your other girlfriends.
276
00:09:38,434 --> 00:09:40,123
One he said he met at camp.
277
00:09:40,207 --> 00:09:41,684
He never went to camp.
278
00:09:42,594 --> 00:09:44,393
But it sounded like a fight.
279
00:09:44,477 --> 00:09:45,695
I heard someone get slapped!
280
00:09:45,779 --> 00:09:46,848
Oh, that?
281
00:09:46,932 --> 00:09:48,665
He always makes a monster sandwich
282
00:09:48,749 --> 00:09:50,367
when he's trying not to study!
283
00:09:50,451 --> 00:09:51,686
Totally!
284
00:09:51,770 --> 00:09:53,354
I gotta push this kid all the damn time
285
00:09:53,438 --> 00:09:54,655
to live up to his potential!
286
00:09:54,739 --> 00:09:56,339
Yes, girl! Yes!
287
00:09:56,423 --> 00:09:57,240
Preach!
288
00:09:57,324 --> 00:09:58,408
Mmm... mm.
289
00:09:58,492 --> 00:10:00,228
Strong smack.
290
00:10:00,312 --> 00:10:02,011
I like it. Respect.
291
00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:05,482
So you guys actually like each other?
292
00:10:05,566 --> 00:10:07,368
Hey, don't act so surprised.
293
00:10:07,452 --> 00:10:09,437
I'm very easy to get along with.
294
00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:10,821
Some might even say charming.
295
00:10:10,905 --> 00:10:11,839
They might.
296
00:10:11,923 --> 00:10:13,056
And they do.
297
00:10:13,925 --> 00:10:15,790
Great, this is awesome!
298
00:10:15,874 --> 00:10:17,311
Where'd I put my sandwich?
299
00:10:17,395 --> 00:10:19,796
And, uh, coming up on your right,
300
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,183
you'll see Carrot Top's childhood home!
301
00:10:22,267 --> 00:10:23,967
This is much more you, Dad.
302
00:10:24,051 --> 00:10:25,136
I know!
303
00:10:25,220 --> 00:10:27,170
Being a tour guide
combines my people skills,
304
00:10:27,254 --> 00:10:28,795
my passion for Orlando,
305
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:31,259
and my secret desire to
wear a little headset.
306
00:10:31,343 --> 00:10:33,143
Thanks for being my guinea pigs.
307
00:10:33,227 --> 00:10:34,244
I thought you were just
308
00:10:34,328 --> 00:10:35,830
giving us a ride to Mommy and Me.
309
00:10:35,914 --> 00:10:38,191
Uh, you don't want to take
Colonial at this hour, Lou.
310
00:10:38,275 --> 00:10:41,154
Just pull a U-boat up ahead
here and take Edgewater.
311
00:10:41,238 --> 00:10:43,267
- It's faster, more efficient.
- Are you sure?
312
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,906
I planned this route very carefully.
313
00:10:44,990 --> 00:10:46,073
Coming up on your right
314
00:10:46,157 --> 00:10:48,242
is the worldwide
headquarters of Tupperware!
315
00:10:48,326 --> 00:10:49,377
Uh, can we pull over?
316
00:10:49,461 --> 00:10:50,727
I need to use the bathroom.
317
00:10:50,811 --> 00:10:51,779
Uh, can it wait?
318
00:10:51,863 --> 00:10:53,748
I have a whole spiel about Earl Tupper
319
00:10:53,832 --> 00:10:56,317
and his clash with female
CEO Brownie Mae Wise...
320
00:10:56,401 --> 00:10:58,368
The first woman to make the
cover of Business Week.
321
00:10:58,452 --> 00:10:59,836
You're losing us, Lou!
322
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:02,323
Oh, Marvin! The babies!
323
00:11:02,407 --> 00:11:04,274
They're just saying what
we're all thinking!
324
00:11:04,358 --> 00:11:06,594
Uh, everyone, we are in
the middle of a tour.
325
00:11:06,678 --> 00:11:09,212
If you could please keep it
down for the other guests.
326
00:11:09,296 --> 00:11:10,814
Dad, you just ran a stop sign.
327
00:11:10,898 --> 00:11:12,349
There'll be another one!
328
00:11:12,433 --> 00:11:14,751
Uh... Speaking of stop signs,
329
00:11:14,835 --> 00:11:17,654
the first one appeared in
1915 in Detroit, Michigan,
330
00:11:17,738 --> 00:11:19,055
a state that looks like a mitten.
331
00:11:19,139 --> 00:11:20,141
No one cares!
332
00:11:20,225 --> 00:11:21,424
I have to pee! Pull over!
333
00:11:36,841 --> 00:11:38,575
He does do that! He so does.
334
00:11:40,078 --> 00:11:41,449
But he's been good today.
335
00:11:41,533 --> 00:11:43,451
Got through a whole chapter
without nodding off.
336
00:11:43,535 --> 00:11:46,067
I consider it a win if his
book is right-side up.
337
00:11:46,151 --> 00:11:48,518
He calls Geometry "Shapes Class."
338
00:11:48,602 --> 00:11:49,842
Oh, shut up!
339
00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,333
You shut up!
340
00:11:51,417 --> 00:11:53,156
No, both of you shut up.
341
00:11:57,862 --> 00:11:59,596
This is my calling for sure.
342
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,082
A motivational speaker.
343
00:12:01,166 --> 00:12:03,266
Inspiring people to live
life to the fullest.
344
00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:05,168
You're like a tour guide,
but for people's lives.
345
00:12:05,252 --> 00:12:07,036
And I still get to use the headset.
346
00:12:09,908 --> 00:12:11,759
...and then I won the
Golden Prune award.
347
00:12:11,843 --> 00:12:14,878
And, uh, that's just a
brief explanation of...
348
00:12:14,962 --> 00:12:17,113
Brief?! How is 40 minutes brief?!
349
00:12:17,197 --> 00:12:20,501
...of, uh, how Cattleman's
Ranch Steakhouse,
350
00:12:20,585 --> 00:12:24,120
just off the I-4 and now
open for breakfast,
351
00:12:24,204 --> 00:12:25,628
became a success.
352
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:27,375
Oh, great! A question.
353
00:12:27,459 --> 00:12:29,292
Is Zumba still in here at 4:00?
354
00:12:32,897 --> 00:12:34,448
Um...
355
00:12:34,532 --> 00:12:37,834
It is said that a journey
of a thousand miles
356
00:12:37,918 --> 00:12:39,453
begins with a single step.
357
00:12:39,537 --> 00:12:43,240
But, um, in reality, a
journey of a thousand miles
358
00:12:43,324 --> 00:12:44,841
should begin with a map!
359
00:12:48,580 --> 00:12:49,830
Hey, where are you going?
360
00:12:49,914 --> 00:12:50,965
Where are you going?
361
00:12:51,049 --> 00:12:52,970
Well, I'm trying to motivate you!
362
00:12:53,054 --> 00:12:54,417
This is supposed to
be my next big thing!
363
00:12:54,501 --> 00:12:55,485
I'm inspiring!
364
00:12:55,569 --> 00:12:56,820
I respectfully disagree.
365
00:12:56,904 --> 00:12:58,955
Well...
366
00:13:01,459 --> 00:13:04,594
You know what? He's right.
367
00:13:04,678 --> 00:13:06,763
Who am I to give you advice?
368
00:13:06,847 --> 00:13:08,565
How can I help you
find your next chapter
369
00:13:08,649 --> 00:13:10,433
if I can't even find mine?
370
00:13:13,138 --> 00:13:14,371
Maybe there isn't one.
371
00:13:14,455 --> 00:13:16,924
Maybe this is it.
372
00:13:17,008 --> 00:13:20,744
Maybe my next big thing
is just... death.
373
00:13:22,414 --> 00:13:23,798
Alright, you muffin-tops!
374
00:13:23,882 --> 00:13:25,833
Who's ready to Zumba?!
375
00:13:28,402 --> 00:13:29,403
Speaking of firsts,
376
00:13:29,487 --> 00:13:30,920
did I ever tell you about my first kiss?
377
00:13:31,004 --> 00:13:32,455
You'd better be about to!
378
00:13:32,539 --> 00:13:36,393
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
379
00:13:36,477 --> 00:13:38,861
...an overall sensation of wet.
380
00:13:38,945 --> 00:13:40,096
Can you guys please keep it down?
381
00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:41,898
I'm trying to study!
382
00:13:41,982 --> 00:13:43,400
What's happening to me?
383
00:13:43,484 --> 00:13:45,035
Oh, you're evolving!
384
00:13:45,119 --> 00:13:47,647
From a boy of nonsense
into a man of letters.
385
00:13:48,821 --> 00:13:50,276
I think we should take a break.
386
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,578
Let's go get a milkshake.
387
00:13:51,662 --> 00:13:52,948
Good idea.
388
00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:56,569
Coming, Jess?
389
00:14:00,194 --> 00:14:03,053
Our boy Eddie needs to step up
his course-load senior year.
390
00:14:03,137 --> 00:14:04,521
It's lucky I look good in blue
391
00:14:04,605 --> 00:14:06,790
because I tell him that
until I'm blue in the face.
392
00:14:06,874 --> 00:14:09,059
Uh... you look good in all colors.
393
00:14:09,143 --> 00:14:10,393
You're so observant.
394
00:14:10,477 --> 00:14:11,928
You actually don't look
good in orange, so...
395
00:14:12,012 --> 00:14:13,063
Whatever.
396
00:14:13,147 --> 00:14:14,864
Me? You're the one who's observant.
397
00:14:14,948 --> 00:14:16,900
That's another good observation!
398
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,448
Did you know Jessica
399
00:14:21,532 --> 00:14:23,712
can get five dinners out
of one roast chicken?
400
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,438
Another fun fact about my mother.
401
00:14:25,522 --> 00:14:27,190
Will it ever get old? Not to me!
402
00:14:27,274 --> 00:14:30,327
You're okay with me being
friends with your mom, right?
403
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,729
You're not afraid of a little
harmless female bonding.
404
00:14:32,813 --> 00:14:34,731
What?! I'm happy as can be.
405
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:41,087
I thought it would be bad
406
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,006
for my mom and my girlfriend
to hate each other,
407
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,975
but them liking each
other is so much worse.
408
00:14:45,059 --> 00:14:47,618
Life's curveballs, am I right?
409
00:14:47,702 --> 00:14:50,563
I mean, I barely get time alone
with my girlfriend anymore.
410
00:14:50,647 --> 00:14:52,398
Silver lining? I'm
friends with your dad,
411
00:14:52,482 --> 00:14:53,850
Tina's friends with your mom,
412
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,619
we introduce my sis
Tracy to your grandma,
413
00:14:55,703 --> 00:14:57,357
and we've got ourselves a dinner party.
414
00:14:57,441 --> 00:14:58,522
What am I gonna do?
415
00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,589
At the rate they're going,
416
00:14:59,673 --> 00:15:01,158
Tina's gonna ask my mother to prom.
417
00:15:01,242 --> 00:15:02,882
Not gonna lie, I'm into that.
418
00:15:02,966 --> 00:15:04,461
I wanted to ask Short Linda to prom,
419
00:15:04,545 --> 00:15:06,630
but she'd have to break
up with Thick-Neck Chris.
420
00:15:06,714 --> 00:15:09,166
That's it! That's what I have to do.
421
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:10,200
I have to break them up!
422
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,935
Dude, you're crazy.
423
00:15:12,019 --> 00:15:14,404
What Thick-Neck Chris has
with Short Linda is real.
424
00:15:14,488 --> 00:15:15,280
No.
425
00:15:15,364 --> 00:15:17,490
I need to break up my
mother and my girlfriend.
426
00:15:17,574 --> 00:15:19,125
Okay, gotta ask...
427
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:20,711
Why do we call her Short Linda?
428
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:21,845
She's 6-feet tall.
429
00:15:21,929 --> 00:15:22,879
But very curt.
430
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,530
Lotta one-word answers.
431
00:15:26,901 --> 00:15:30,253
Hunting ground of notorious
serial killer Ted Bundy?
432
00:15:30,337 --> 00:15:32,871
Well, this was unwise.
433
00:15:33,574 --> 00:15:35,341
You don't have to check
up on me, I'm fine.
434
00:15:35,425 --> 00:15:37,243
I rolled the dice on something new,
435
00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:38,862
and they came up snake eyes.
436
00:15:38,946 --> 00:15:40,012
Are snake eyes bad?
437
00:15:41,048 --> 00:15:42,014
I don't know. I think so.
438
00:15:42,098 --> 00:15:43,100
Snakes are bad.
439
00:15:43,184 --> 00:15:45,335
Well, I just came by to tell
you I'm quitting Drama.
440
00:15:45,419 --> 00:15:46,803
What? Why?
441
00:15:46,887 --> 00:15:48,154
I auditioned for "42nd Street,"
442
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:49,488
and I couldn't do a high kick.
443
00:15:49,572 --> 00:15:50,507
Guess I'm bad at acting.
444
00:15:50,591 --> 00:15:51,775
Son, you can't just give up
445
00:15:51,859 --> 00:15:53,643
because things don't
immediately go your way.
446
00:15:53,727 --> 00:15:55,227
I just really wanted it to work out.
447
00:15:55,311 --> 00:15:56,346
And it will one day.
448
00:15:56,430 --> 00:15:57,997
But only if you don't give up.
449
00:15:58,081 --> 00:15:59,182
If you walk away,
450
00:15:59,266 --> 00:16:00,917
how will you ever know what
wonderful opportunities
451
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,386
might be just around the corner?
452
00:16:02,470 --> 00:16:03,669
That's good advice.
453
00:16:04,472 --> 00:16:05,504
Maybe you should take it.
454
00:16:06,307 --> 00:16:07,190
Me?
455
00:16:07,274 --> 00:16:08,291
I'm not quitting Drama.
456
00:16:08,375 --> 00:16:09,709
I made up that whole story.
457
00:16:09,793 --> 00:16:11,287
I kick great!
458
00:16:12,112 --> 00:16:13,730
- Whoa.
- Yeah.
459
00:16:13,814 --> 00:16:16,282
I just want you to keep hunting
for your next challenge,
460
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:17,750
no matter how long it takes.
461
00:16:17,834 --> 00:16:19,719
You deserve to find your passion.
462
00:16:19,803 --> 00:16:20,619
Thanks, son.
463
00:16:20,703 --> 00:16:21,787
Your support means a lot.
464
00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:25,509
You get your high kick from
your old man, you know.
465
00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:28,227
My side of the family is
famous for our loose groins.
466
00:16:30,331 --> 00:16:32,516
Hey, here's a thought.
467
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,733
How about today we study to music?
468
00:16:36,737 --> 00:16:38,270
I said study to music!
469
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,894
The whole time I thought she
was in silent contemplation,
470
00:16:43,978 --> 00:16:45,611
she's just been snoozing!
471
00:16:46,647 --> 00:16:47,831
? Baby, baby ?
472
00:16:47,915 --> 00:16:48,899
? I'm taken with the notion ?
473
00:16:48,983 --> 00:16:50,567
Oh, no, Amy Grant?
474
00:16:50,651 --> 00:16:51,635
I'm sorry, Tina.
475
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,686
I forgot how much you hate Amy Grant.
476
00:16:53,770 --> 00:16:55,020
What?
477
00:16:55,104 --> 00:16:56,318
That can't be true!
478
00:16:56,402 --> 00:16:58,224
Amy Grant has the voice of an angel!
479
00:16:58,308 --> 00:16:59,191
Tina!
480
00:16:59,275 --> 00:17:00,777
She's my mom's favorite singer.
481
00:17:00,861 --> 00:17:02,807
You're basically saying
my mom has no taste.
482
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:04,648
I haven't said anything.
483
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,683
Are you just gonna sit there
and let this high school girl
484
00:17:06,767 --> 00:17:07,984
tell you you're tasteless?
485
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:10,620
That's not the fiery
Keds-kicking tempest I know.
486
00:17:10,704 --> 00:17:12,405
Tempest?
487
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:13,966
Eddie, what is this?
488
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,575
He's trying,
489
00:17:16,659 --> 00:17:18,144
with the subtlety of an elephant,
490
00:17:18,228 --> 00:17:19,629
to cause friction between us.
491
00:17:19,713 --> 00:17:21,366
So what?
492
00:17:21,450 --> 00:17:22,966
You're not okay with us hanging out?
493
00:17:23,050 --> 00:17:24,350
You lied to me?
494
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:25,751
I plead the fourth.
495
00:17:25,835 --> 00:17:28,405
Oh, he's so close to knowing stuff.
496
00:17:28,489 --> 00:17:29,906
First you don't want us to meet,
497
00:17:29,990 --> 00:17:31,265
and then when we do and get along,
498
00:17:31,349 --> 00:17:32,324
you try to ruin it?
499
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,411
What's wrong with you?
500
00:17:34,495 --> 00:17:35,928
? The birds above are
singing you a chorus ?
501
00:17:36,012 --> 00:17:39,583
Whoa, feeling a lotta red auras in here.
502
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:42,435
? Baby, I'm so glad you're mine ?
503
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,503
You didn't want me to meet Tina?
504
00:17:44,587 --> 00:17:45,520
Of course not.
505
00:17:45,604 --> 00:17:46,623
You have strong opinions
506
00:17:46,707 --> 00:17:48,707
which you express hourly at peak volume.
507
00:17:48,791 --> 00:17:50,242
It's called confidence.
508
00:17:50,326 --> 00:17:51,177
It's a gift.
509
00:17:51,261 --> 00:17:52,280
I'm sorry.
510
00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:54,914
I just thought you might
ruin my relationship.
511
00:17:54,998 --> 00:17:55,837
What?
512
00:17:55,921 --> 00:17:57,467
I would never do that.
513
00:17:57,551 --> 00:17:59,018
Well, it doesn't matter.
514
00:17:59,102 --> 00:18:01,247
I already ruined
everything all on my own.
515
00:18:03,129 --> 00:18:06,325
Okay, I may have been pushing
it a little bit with Tina.
516
00:18:06,409 --> 00:18:08,211
Did you really have to braid her hair?
517
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,962
You don't know a woman's true beauty
518
00:18:10,046 --> 00:18:11,697
until you see her neck.
519
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,718
I just wanted us to get along
520
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,987
because I knew how much you liked her.
521
00:18:17,071 --> 00:18:18,088
How?
522
00:18:18,172 --> 00:18:19,723
I barely told you about her.
523
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,340
That's how I knew.
524
00:18:22,509 --> 00:18:24,577
And I know why you like her.
525
00:18:24,661 --> 00:18:26,312
Because she's like me...
526
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:27,998
Direct, smart,
527
00:18:28,082 --> 00:18:30,267
and you always know what's on her mind.
528
00:18:30,351 --> 00:18:33,203
Yeah, well, right now, she's
thinking she hates me.
529
00:18:33,287 --> 00:18:34,253
No, she's not.
530
00:18:34,337 --> 00:18:36,840
She obviously cares about you a lot.
531
00:18:36,924 --> 00:18:38,647
Another thing we have in common.
532
00:18:39,267 --> 00:18:40,525
Now go fix this.
533
00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,602
Oh, and Eddie...?
534
00:18:43,479 --> 00:18:46,098
Don't ever weaponize Amy Grant again.
535
00:18:48,235 --> 00:18:50,302
Before you cut me out
of all your photos,
536
00:18:50,386 --> 00:18:52,222
I wanted to say I'm really sorry.
537
00:18:52,306 --> 00:18:54,273
And I understand if you
want to break up with me.
538
00:18:55,776 --> 00:18:56,830
If I broke up with you
539
00:18:56,914 --> 00:18:58,295
every time you did something weird,
540
00:18:58,379 --> 00:18:59,763
we wouldn't have lasted an hour.
541
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:01,213
Yeah.
542
00:19:01,719 --> 00:19:02,882
Props for tolerance.
543
00:19:02,966 --> 00:19:04,316
I just want you to be honest.
544
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:05,435
You should have told me
545
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:06,862
you were nervous about
me meeting your mom.
546
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:07,955
I know.
547
00:19:08,039 --> 00:19:09,722
And that you'd rather
hang out on our own.
548
00:19:09,806 --> 00:19:10,732
I would too.
549
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:11,857
Really?
550
00:19:11,941 --> 00:19:13,292
Of course.
551
00:19:13,376 --> 00:19:15,347
I like Jessica, but I'm dating you.
552
00:19:15,431 --> 00:19:18,610
I laid it on a little thick
because she's your mom.
553
00:19:18,694 --> 00:19:19,749
I want to get along.
554
00:19:19,833 --> 00:19:22,333
But between you and me,
she braids way too tight.
555
00:19:22,417 --> 00:19:23,636
I liked you in braids.
556
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,255
You looked kinda like
the Wendy's girl...
557
00:19:25,339 --> 00:19:27,339
The hottest of the fast-food mascots.
558
00:19:27,423 --> 00:19:29,408
Do you ever stop thinking about burgers?
559
00:19:29,492 --> 00:19:31,029
Sometimes I think about sliders.
560
00:19:31,113 --> 00:19:32,411
Do sliders count as burgers?
561
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:34,647
There's no correct answer.
562
00:19:34,731 --> 00:19:36,315
It's an eternal debate.
563
00:19:42,011 --> 00:19:43,088
You want to listen?
564
00:19:43,172 --> 00:19:44,147
Buck a minute.
565
00:19:44,231 --> 00:19:45,857
I got to get your chair a bell.
566
00:19:51,829 --> 00:19:53,290
I think male modeling is out.
567
00:19:53,374 --> 00:19:55,093
I've been told I have feminine ankles.
568
00:19:55,177 --> 00:19:56,102
Mom?
569
00:19:56,972 --> 00:19:58,505
Louis Huang?
570
00:19:58,589 --> 00:19:59,857
I've been looking for you!
571
00:19:59,941 --> 00:20:01,356
I was actually at the talk
you gave the other night.
572
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:02,481
My name's Tom.
573
00:20:03,478 --> 00:20:04,945
Were you the one who threw
the smoothie at me?
574
00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:06,713
I was taken aback. Those are not cheap.
575
00:20:06,797 --> 00:20:08,982
You've inspired me to chase my dreams,
576
00:20:09,066 --> 00:20:11,478
and I was thinking maybe
you'd like to invest
577
00:20:11,562 --> 00:20:12,603
in my new business.
578
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:16,013
Well, I'm flattered. Lay it on me.
579
00:20:16,097 --> 00:20:17,391
It's a website
580
00:20:17,475 --> 00:20:19,426
where a person has their own space
581
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,928
to post pictures and notes
582
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:24,698
that they can share with
friends and family.
583
00:20:27,718 --> 00:20:30,771
Uh, they can already do that
through a little company
584
00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:32,205
called The United States Postal Service.
585
00:20:33,421 --> 00:20:34,941
Well, I mean, this is...
586
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,510
I'm gonna have to pass.
Thanks for stopping by.
587
00:20:38,547 --> 00:20:40,013
Keep thinking.
588
00:20:41,348 --> 00:20:43,041
Okay.
589
00:20:43,125 --> 00:20:44,587
Oof.
590
00:20:44,671 --> 00:20:45,919
Can you imagine?
591
00:20:46,003 --> 00:20:47,421
Who wants to look at
other people's photos
592
00:20:47,505 --> 00:20:48,455
on the computer?
593
00:20:50,908 --> 00:20:53,121
That's so dumb.
594
00:20:54,362 --> 00:20:55,395
Oh, gosh.
595
00:20:55,479 --> 00:20:57,159
What an idiot.
596
00:20:57,243 --> 00:20:59,243
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www.addic7ed.com
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