All language subtitles for Frayed - 01x03 - Episode 3.HDTV.x264-LiNKLE.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

Your mum's got no right

showing up after all these
years. No fucking right.

I'm not fat! You take that
back with immediate effect!

- Or what, you'll sit on me?
- I've been sober for 12 years.

Who, my sister? She's run
up a two grand phone bill.

How are you gonna pay for this?

I need to earn money,
Fiona. I mean, proper money.

I've got a meeting in Sydney
with some investors soon.

These business trips are so not legal.

- You reckon you could show me what he's up to.
- You've ruined my life!

- I was gonna be something, Sammy.
- Why are you running from me?

- Oh, my God. She's angling for the house.
- What?

You have to get that bitch out of there

before she steals everything
right out from under your nose.

Oh, yeah! Come to mama!

- Big Jim's coming at ya.
- Oh! Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

- Grrr!
- Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

Ugh! Ugh!

Oh. Oh.

I'm sorry about this.

You deserve a classy
location for getting boned.

Oh, no, no. That was great.

I haven't screwed in the
back of a car... in days.

What do you mean? We've never... Oh.

It's just... The house is so
crowded. There's no fucking privacy.

We'll get your house back.

Know that number on the phone bill,

the English one your
sister keeps ringing?

- Yeah.
- Well, I've found a way to call it.

Well, that's really expensive.

My cousin's a pool cleaner.

He knows when all the rich
people are away on holiday.

So we break in and use their pool?

No, we break in and we use their phone.

Oh, yeah. We'll find out
what that scheming bitch

of a sister of yours is up to.

In the meantime, don't
get attached to those kids.

They're a trap.

You're incredible, Beverly.

You're a man of ambition and
drive. You hunger for greatness.

Together we can do
something quite remarkable.

Now, where are my underpants?

That's it. Come on.
Keep it up. Keep it up.

See your man before you pass it.

Nice work. Good hands. Good hands.

That's it. Keep it going. Keep it going!

Ow.

Fuck! Oh, shit. Shit.

- You OK, darl?
- Well, yeah. No, I'm fine.

- You all right?
- Yes. No. Shoo.

- Oh, she slipped over in dog shit.
- She needs first aid.

Does anyone know first aid?

- Shut up!
- What's going on?

Oh, my God. What is
this small-town kindness?

She slipped over in dog
shit. Looks really bad.

I think some poo went in her mouth.

- How is that even possible?
- All right. Look out. I know first aid.

Sammy?

What are you...

Come... Come on.

Thank you, all of you,

for turning that into such
a bizarrely big spectacle.

You're gonna wanna wash that
off, there's taps up at the top.

OK. OK, Dan. I'm fine, thanks.

We've gotta get back to practise.

Mr Atkins, you can stay
here. Give me the stopwatch.

- I can time the sprints.
- Nah, she's all right.

All right. Here you go, Luke.

I know it says boobs every
time you give it back.

But if you end at 1:35,
you can make it say boobies.

Ha! Thanks, Mr Atkins.

They really like you.

- Oh, what, does that surprise you?
- No.

I think it's great.

Remember our PE teacher Mr Isaac?

Put your name as Duncan for four years.

Are we gonna do this every
time we bump into each other?

- Take a trip down memory lane? There you go.
- I was just being friendly.

Put some antiseptic on that

and you can change that
bandage when you get home.

You know what? Yeah.
Yeah, the kids do like me.

- I'm good with kids.
- Oh, Christ.

- Here we go.
- Yeah. Here we go.

You never gave me a chance
to show you who I could be.

You've been in jail.

Sorry, is that the bit
you wanted me to see?

Or is it living in your mum's backyard?

Wow, that is low, even for you.

To refresh your memory, back then,
all you did was get high and surf.

You weren't in any
position to parent a child.

You're right. I was a fuck up, but
I've done my best to correct that.

You are ruthless and cold-hearted.
I don't think you can fix that.

Yeah. Bye, Dan!

My God, some DID go in my mouth.

Oh, fuck! Urgh.

Oh, shit! Oh, that's a hot bike seat.

Mum, my uniform's really
tight. My stomach hurts.

- 'Cos you ate four bowls of Choco Bombs, John Candy.
- Shut up, Leonard.

Honey, are you still constipated?

- Have you had a bowel movement?
- Jesus Christ.

- Can I stay home?
- No, honey, there's no-one here to look after you.

- And I've got to go to work.
- Hi, guys!

- Yo, Abby.
- Hi. What's up?

See? You've already made a friend.

- I hate it here.
- Yeah. I know you do.

Listen, I'm getting paid soon.

I'll be able to buy
you some new clothes.

- And me a BMX with tuffs?
- Yes. Yeah, of course.

Now, I love you both.
Have a good day at school.

Mum, you're embarrassing me.

If you're embarrassed, try
eating dog shit for breakfast.

Oh, Jim. Hey! Can I have a lift to work?

- It's really hot.
- No.

You get nothing until you pay
me back for that phone bill.

I told you, I'll pay
you back, all right?

Seriously, you're gonna make me
ride my bike in this heat? Really?

- Mum! Tell Jim to give me a lift.
- Ignore her, Mum.

- She's manipulating.
- Will you two please shut up?

Just shut up.

Stop asking me to get
involved in your arguments.

How old are we?

- Yeah, how old are we?
- Ow!

And I need you two to clear
your stuff out of the basement.

Yeah? I'm sick of my house
being used as a dumping ground.

- Why are you so angry?
- No, I'm not angry. I just...

I have to get a haircut.

- Just for tonight.
- It's a Monday.

You've got AA tonight. You're
getting a haircut for that?

No. I'm just... I'm
going on a date tonight.

- Whoo-hoo!
- Wow.

Yeah. His name's Peter,
and I met him at the pool.

- Mum, tart.
- Yeah.

- You dirty fucking whore.
- Oh.

Just thought that would sound funny.

Mum,

do you think it's a good
idea missing a meeting?

Sorry, you've been gone
for 20 years without a word,

and you're worried about me
missing a meeting tonight?

- Sammy, hop in.
- Brilliant. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thanks, Jim. I really...

I'm just joking with you.

No, get in.

You did not just do that!

Yeah?

Oh, you fucking did not!

Hey! Get the...

It's on my balls.

Hey!

So, what's up with the
sexy little uniform, Tess?

It was the only one in spares.
I forgot we had PE today.

Oh, it really suits you.

You should forget your
uniform more often.

I suppose you know the timetable better,

this being your second
time in year nine.

- What's on your sandwich?
- Choco Bombs.

- Is that an English thing?
- It's a "we have no money thing."

You sure Wade won't find us here?

Oh, no. No-one comes to these
toilets since the rat infestation.

Did you see Abby Harris today?

- She had her hair up.
- She's so hot, man.

Tell me about it. I'd like to put my...

- ... penis in her.
- Oh, me, too.

Just not at the same time that yours...

Only good thing about living here
is I'm across the street from Abby.

This place sucks shit. Do you
have any idea what it feels like

to have your home ripped
out from under you?

Yeah, I was four when
I arrived in Australia.

Fled the Cultural Revolution

after both my grandparents
died from starvation.

Right, so you have some idea
of how hard this is for me.

You know, we were rich
before my dad died.

- How did he die?
- Heart attack.

I miss home.

Every time I speak here, I get shit.

Know what the bus driver calls me?

Mary Poppins.

- At least you sound Australian.
- At least you're white.

Everywhere I go, I get
called nip, gook, chink,

- slap head, PowerPoint...
- It isn't a competition, Hong Kong Phooey.

- Oh, fuck off, Lady Diana.
- That's Princess Diana to you.

- Charlotte.
- Ashley.

- Lucy.
- Jodie.

- Michelle.
- Tim.

- Dylan.
- Tony.

Andrew.

Lisa.

Go on, Tess. Join this one. All right.

To your positions.
No-one throws the ball

till I blow the whistle, and...

As soon as we're old enough,
we should go to London.

- You'd love it.
- You should play that angle with Abby more,

the whole London thing.
Tell her you know BROS.

- What, the whole band?
- Yeah.

You think she'd like that?

Which one of you fags like BROS?

No. No!

All right. Very good.
Very good, everyone.

I'm gonna go through
a bit of a tutorial.

So, hitting a moving target is
not as easy as it looks, is it?

So I might just go
through some techniques.

I'm gonna need a volunteer for this.

Abby, out on the court?

Come on, hustle.

All right. So, the first thing
you're gonna wanna know is...

First thing, you really
wanna get it right.

If you get a good twist to the
torso, you throw from the shoulder.

That's where you get your power!

Close.

See, the thing about
hitting a moving target,

you're not throwing the ball at
them, you're throwing the ball

at where you anticipate
they are gonna be!

- Shit!
- Missed again.

- Ow!
- Ha! Suck shit.

Woo-hoo! Go, Danny!

You all right?

- Come on, Chris.
- You sure it's at 11:00?

It says so in the diary.

I preferred your other work outfits,
by the way. They were mental.

All right. Let me go and
meet the car park surveyor.

Can you turn that radio off?
It's an office, not a bloody,

- er, er...
- Disco?

It's not a bloody disco.

OK. All clear. Hey, thank
you so much for doing this.

Are you kidding? I've been
dying to show this to someone.

- This is so exciting, snooping around.
- I know.

- Oh, my God, do you know what we should do?
- Hide his shit?

I was gonna say put a tack on his chair,

but I guess we could hide his shit.

OK, so these are the
tradesmen Chris has been paying

for bogus inspections to
get buildings condemned.

- With me?
- Yes.

Chris goes to the Planning Minister

with the bogus inspection.

They agree to demolish the
building and redevelop the site.

Chris now has land to
sell at a knock down price,

- and what does land attract?
- Squirrels.

- What?
- No, construction companies. Look, look.

Chris creates massive investment
opportunities, then takes bribes.

- Are you listening?
- No. This is really boring. I'm sorry.

I thought snooping around
was gonna be exciting.

Why don't you give me the
keywords, like an accountant,

- summing up in front of a tax jury?
- That's not a thing.

Look, when Chris goes away
on these business trips,

he's courting companies
and taking bribes.

- Right.
- The thing is, this trip to Sydney is with rail firms.

This is a whole new
league, like megabucks.

Megabucks?

If he's making this kind of money

by lying to everyone, we're
entitled to a slice of it.

- It's called hush money.
- You're gonna blackmail him?

No, I'm not gonna blackmail him.
I'm just gonna go to Sydney with him

and demand money in return for
not telling anyone what he's doing.

That's the exact
definition of blackmail!

Look, I really need this money, OK?

I owe my brother thousands.

My daughter's clothes are so
tight, she can't shit right.

Chris knows how to get away with this.

He was in criminal law, he knows
the loopholes. If this doesn't work,

it could put us in an awkward position.

I'll show you an awkward position.

- Bloody Nora.
- Mm.

- Uncle Jim?
- Don't you talk to me.

- You will not trap me.
- I just want to ask you a question.

- I need to concentrate, all right?
- You've been with a lot of women, right?

I've been with tons of women.
Probably somewhere around the, er,

219 mark. More, if you
count fingering and oral.

- Go on. Ask me anything.
- Well, I was just wondering...

The best advice I can give you, all
right, is to let them come first.

That can be tricky when they're
really pounding hard on your dick,

but they fucking hate it
when you blow your load

and they haven't finished.

Also, getting your face punched
in, it's a pretty big turnoff.

So, you ladies need to
learn some self-defence.

Come on, Bo. Let's do some karate.

- I don't do karate.
- Are you sure?

Just 'cos I'm Chinese
doesn't mean I do karate.

- Like, they're not all good at maths.
- Actually, I am really good at maths.

Yeah, but you're a little
bit good at karate, eh?

- I told you I don't do karate.
- All right. OK.

I don't do karate!

- Fuck!
- All right! OK. I'm sorry. All right.

You should come to the
beach after work sometime.

- We could have a beer.
- Yeah, I should.

Listen, you won't tell Chris
that I told you all that stuff?

- God, no, of course, I won't.
- Yeah, 'cos he'd fire me.

- Fiona.
- What?

I will not betray you.

I swear this to you. I
have spent my entire life

watching men like Chris and my husband

get rich lying to everyone.

Now, it is our turn, goddammit.

We're entitled to a seat at
the table. And guess what?

- What?
- They're not gonna invite us.

So here's a thought.
How about we take a seat?

Yes! That was the
coolest fucking speech.

Oh, you were all, like,
"Goddammit," and I swear to you...

It felt really dramatic.

This is such a step up from
sticking my finger up my arsehole,

and dipping it in his coffee.

I need copies of all
these. Three of each.

Hey, do you know what? I'll do it.

- You go.
- And a black coffee, too.

Want me to make it before I go?

Oh, hello. Tess, what
are you doing here?

Jim said it's going to get cleared
out, so I thought I'd have a look.

Oh, you're young. You should be outside

playing with your
friends in the sunshine.

Don't really have any.

Right. Well, I'm looking for
an old Japanese jewellery box.

You wanna help me try to find it?
I'm sure I left it here somewhere.

- I like your haircut.
- Oh, thanks. You don't think it's too short?

- No. I love it. You look very pretty.
- Thanks.

And you look very
pretty, too, in that robe.

Do you know your
grandfather brought me this

when we were stationed at
Yamaguchi after the war?

Right, now, I'm sure
it's here somewhere.

Oh, dear, my memory.

- Is this is the jewellery box?
- Yes. Oh, good girl.

A-ha! My bracelet.

- That's very pretty.
- You like it?

Here. Try it on.

- Grandma?
- Mm-hm.

Why did Mum leave?

I don't understand why it's
taken so long for us to meet.

Well,

things were very different back then.

When Frank... when your grandpa died...

Yeah.

It was the right time
for your mum to get out.

- How do I look?
- Terrific.

Here you go. Ooh.

For protection.

- Have fun on your date.
- Yeah.

I will try.

What is that?

Oh, my gosh.

Whoa.

Bang.

You need to take off that
captain's hat and put down that gun.

- Abby Harris is here.
- Why?

I don't know. Gotta come
upstairs. Her dad's here, too,

and he really wants
to talk to you and Mum.

It's very tense. This is so exciting.

Oh, and if I say that I know
BROS, just go along with it.

- Hey. Er, finished.
- Leave it on my desk.

So, erm, that business trip to Sydney.

Er, I was thinking about it,
and if the offer's still there,

I'd really like to go to those meetings.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Because you were acting
as if I was being dodgy.

Oh, no, I was just...

- I was a little surprised, that's all.
- No, you were being a typical woman.

Like, "Oh, I'm so hot, anything a
man says to me is an offer of sex."

- Don't think I was thinking that.
- An offer to work in Sydney is

because he wants to get out of the city,

away from his wife, and get me drunk

and alone, and finally make a
move on me after all these years.

Well, something like that.

No, I don't think that's... No.

See, I just thought about
everything that you said,

- and I think you made a fantastic point.
- Hm.

You know, you and I would
make a really good team.

You'd be bringing your experience
and expertise in negotiating.

Exactly, and you'll be wanky as shit.

- Precisely.
- Precisely.

Oh, gee, you sound like such a
wanker already? It's really great.

- I'll pick you up first thing.
- Great.

- All right, then.
- Fantastic.

- I'm very excited for you to be on board.
- Me, too.

- And the clothes I bought you look good.
- Thank you.

- I got your size right, didn't I?
- Yeah.

I don't know where their mother is.

She swans around like
Elena, Duchess of Branagh.

Prince Michael of Moldavia
was supposed to marry,

but then he met Amanda
Carrington in Acapulco.

It doesn't matter. Sammy
should be here by now.

Bo, can I borrow a drag of that?

- No more smoking in this house, mister.
- Ow!

- What the fuck?
- I know Luke Goss.

Perhaps, we could just get on with this.

I don't think their
mum needs to be here.

You're Tess, yes? Tess.

Can you tell me what
you did this afternoon?

- Well, I caught the bus home.
- Mm.

And then I had some toast.

Erm, then I went into the basement,

and then I tried to go to the toilet.

Sorry. Pray, continue.

OK. Anything else?

And...

Well...

- Well, Abby and I...
- Told you I was here.

- Keep quiet.
- We... we did some homework.

Yeah, we did some homework.

We're in the same maths
class, and I'm behind, so...

Yeah. I was just showing her the
chapters that we'd covered so far.

And then she asked for my help
with simultaneous equations

because she's a bit thick.

Shut up, you.

OK. Well, then.

Thanks for seeing us.

Not at all, Terry.
Er, glad we could help.

I'll see you at school tomorrow.

Catch you tomorrow, Abby.

- What just happened?
- I was so nervous.

Do you think she believed me about Goss?

Terry is so masculine.

- I don't think she believed me.
- I think she did.

Hello?

- Jesus Christ. Put those guns down.
- Relax. They are not loaded.

Whoo! That one is.

- Where did you get these?
- Over in that chest.

- Let's just put them back.
- Jeez, Mum, relax. It's just a gun.

Oh, my God. Ruby.

She used to make it dance
to a song she made up.

We used to make a dance
to the song I made up.

♪ Ruby, Ruby ♪

♪ Tell me where you're from ♪

♪ When the lights are gone... ♪

OK, I think we've heard enough.

What about your little
song about Bunny and Poof?

- I don't know what you mean.
- When Jim was little,

he had two favourite toys.

One of them was a rabbit and the
other was one of Mum's makeup brushes.

And he called them Bunny and Poof.

- Can you sing the song?
- No.

- Go on. Come on.
- There is no song.

♪ Bunny and Poof, Poof and Bunny ♪

- ♪ One likes carrots and... ♪
- ♪ The other loves honey... ♪

- So, the makeup brush eats honey?
- Yes, Leonard.

Yes. He fucking loves the stuff.

Mum, we had the most exciting afternoon.

- Where the fuck have you been?
- I got stuck at work. Sorry.

Abby and her dad came over and
Abby was in so much trouble.

- We met in the kitchen.
- He wanted to know where Tess was this afternoon,

and Tess told her dad
that Abby was here.

Wow.

- Hang on, was she?
- Are you kidding?

As if Abby would come to our house.

- Tess, honey, you lied?
- Yes.

I said we were doing
maths homework together.

It was bloody good lying, Tess.

No, no, no, honey, no.
You don't lie, sweetheart.

It's really dishonest.

It could get you into
all sorts of trouble.

- As if you can talk, Simone.
- Good one, Uncle Jim.

- Jim, can I just have a word upstairs?
- Yeah.

Lenny, if I can get that fan belt,

- do you wanna do some work on the car tomorrow?
- OK.

And, Tess, good job today.

- Thanks.
- I'm so proud of you.

Abby was probably up to
no good this afternoon,

doing something illegal,

and she escaped punishment
because you didn't snitch.

- Get upstairs.
- What?

- Hey!
- Look.

I appreciate that you and the
kids are getting along well,

and I think it's great, OK?

- But don't do that.
- Don't do what?

Undermine me in front of them.

You're such a fucking hypocrite.
You think you're the only one

who's learned to lie to get ahead,

and if someone else does it,
well, no, that's dishonest.

I do not want to set up a
precedent in my daughter's life

- for that jailbait next door.
- Tess is having a miserable time at school.

If she gets Abby on her side,
people will stop bullying her.

OK. Well, thank you so much
for your input on parenting.

But they are MY children.

- Now, have you fed them?
- Oh, go fuck yourself.

See you, Bo.

- Jesus! Who are you?
- I'm Bo.

- They haven't had dinner yet.
- Well, you're Chinese.

Does your family own a
restaurant or something?

Why is this family so
racist? But, yeah, we do.

- Oh, is it the one on Derby Street?
- Yeah.

- You been there?
- Yeah.

Oh, God.

- Hey.
- Sorry, I'm a bit late.

- Wow, your hair looks great.
- Oh, yeah?

I've never worn it this short before.

Well, I did when I was younger,

but that was a long time ago.

- Well, not that long ago.
- Well, it looks terrific.

- Thanks.
- What about my hair?

It's lovely. Very elegant.

If you don't like it here,
we can go somewhere else.

- No, no. I like it. It's very nice.
- OK.

- It's just... you seem a bit...
- No. I'm fine. I'm, you know...

Erm, I was just a little bit... nervous.

Well, I think we need some drinks.

Do you drink wine?

- White, red, rosé?
- Whatever.

- Don't mind.
- How about a bottle of each?

Yeah.

- This feels wrong.
- It's not wrong.

We're just gonna use their phone.

Look at this place.

A phone call means
nothing to these people.

What we're gonna do is use their phone.

Take this soda stream.

You know, maybe some
other light electricals,

any choice pieces of jewellery,
maybe some prescription medication.

If you have the same
size shoe as any of them,

we're just going to take some
shoes. I also like this hat.

Well, it just feels a little illegal.

Your sister is engaged
in something illegal

and needs to be exposed
for the criminal she is.

We are merely trying
to get to the truth.

Oh, hello, my name is
Prudence Badminton-Wells.

- I'm an associate of Samantha...
- Simone.

- She went by the name of Simone.
- What a cunt!

Simone Burbeck. Yes, yes.

Well, this is rather strange, really.

But I'm having great
difficulty locating her.

A mutual friend suggested it might
be worth liaising with your office.

I see. When will he be back?

I'm sorry. Did you say Rufus Fenshaw?

Yes, yes, I do know him. My
husband was a year above him in...

... Cambridge.

No, I don't believe
I have his new number.

Mrs Atkins. Yes.

- Hey. It's Sammy.
- Yes, I know. I'm sorry.

- I don't know what's wrong with me today.
- That's all right.

- Maybe I can help.
- I must post this birthday card today.

I need to speak to the postmaster.

Yeah, I think the post
office is closed right now.

But I'll tell you what. Why don't
I take it, and I'll post for you?

Would you, dear?

Do you want to walk home together?

Oh, it's, er...

It's back up this way.

You have been ever so
helpful. Thank you. Bye.

- Home fuckin' phone number of her lawyer.
- Oh.

Good one.

That's pretty good.

- What?
- I don't know. Are we doing the right thing?

I hate Sammy, that goes without
saying, but the kids, you know...

Lenny and I've been working on the car,

and there was this meeting in
the kitchen with all the parents,

and it was like, I don't
know, it just felt nice.

- Do you know what I mean?
- No, I don't know what you mean.

Like, maybe we shouldn't be
sniffing around like this.

We are so close to figuring
out what your sister is up to.

I just don't want to punish the
kids, this isn't their fault.

I don't fucking believe this.

I was actually thinking we
should think about, you know...

... starting our own family.

What about all the money
Sammy owes you, the lies?

And the fact that she's trying
to steal your house from you.

- Doesn't any of that make you angry?
- Yeah, but...

I thought you had balls.

If you want to get screwed
over a barrel, go for it.

Have fun paying for your
sister and her kids' expenses.

- Bev.
- When she steals the house from you,

- good luck finding public housing.
- Is that really hard?

Well, it's actually pretty easy,
but it is not a house on the beach.

That property is priceless.

You can kiss it goodbye, because
your big sister is playing you.

- Get out.
- Bev, listen, I...

I'm in love with you.

You're not the man I thought you were.

I thought you had ambition and
drive. I thought together...

... we could do something remarkable.

Now, go. Get out!

OK.

- Go!
- OK.

Hang on.

First, just help me grab that fish tank.

Then I want you out.

- What?
- It's gonna be easy. There's five fish in that thing.

What I do know is she was supposed
to be over there at 12 o'clock.

I spoke to Brett, Brett
Samson, or whatever.

He's the manager over there at the club.

- But I... Oh, thank Christ. Mum?
- What?

I had to post a card, potty mouth.

What are the police doing here?
It's not a marijuana raid, is it?

No, I mean, I used to, you
know, back when I was younger.

- Look, she... she still thinks I'm in high school.
- Well,

you might want to start thinking
about alternate living situations.

When they start wandering, they
can be a real danger to themselves.

Yeah, all right. Anyway,
thank you. Appreciate it.

What nonsense? I was just shopping.

You've been missing since mid-day.
You were supposed to be at the club.

I'm not a child.

Where did you find her?

She was down at the old post office.

What?

- Grandad has been dead for over 20 years.
- Yeah, I know.

I was at the funeral, remember?

I'm gonna have to put her into
care. Just feels so wrong, you know.

I mean, she was there for
me when I got out of...

She took me back when I had nothing.

I know, it's really hard. I know.

- Really?
- Oh. Oh, so you know about family loyalty

and caring for someone when
they're at their lowest.

- Dan, that's not what I meant.
- "Oh, it's really hard."

Mum and I fell apart after you left.

I know I made a lot of mistakes,
but you weren't there for anyone.

So don't just stand there
and tell me that you know

that it's really hard caring
for someone when they need help.

Do you know what? If it wasn't
for me, you and those cops

would be out wandering the
streets of Newcastle all night,

trying to find your demented Mum.

So, maybe a fucking
thank you is in order,

you self-pitying little shit.

You know, and not that it even matters,

'cos you're having such
a lovely time hating me,

but your grandpa's funeral was
kind of a memorable day for me.

Fine.

Thank you for finding Mum.

- You're welcome.
- And I do remember that funeral, and I was...

And what we did after.

Shit, Dan.

I mean, that was the
first penis I touched.

Oh, Jesus. Keep it down.
Trish will be here any minute.

Oh, well, Christ help
us if we upset Trish.

- Oh, we don't want to upset Trish.
- And there's her car.

Oh, fuck!

Hey, how about we have a
quick round of questions?

Just general stuff, we can
ask each other anything.

- Yeah, OK.
- Do you work?

I volunteer at the church twice a week.

I've never trained as anything.

I know girls these days do,
but I was just a housewife.

Well, I was an electrical
engineer, retired now.

- Kids?
- Two, Sammy is 41, Jim's 38.

Well, I have two daughters.
Sally is 39. Rebecca is 37.

- Right.
- Do you get on with yours?

No, I can't stand them.

No, they drive me insane.
I want them out of my house.

- Divorced?
- Widowed.

Oh, I'm sorry.

How long?

- 23 years.
- Wow. He died young.

- If you don't mind me asking.
- No, no, it's fine.

Frank, erm...

Yeah, he drowned. Well, we...

We think, because his body was never...

Erm, anyway...

Yeah, he'd been drinking.

Has there been anyone since?

- No-one?
- No. God.

- I must sound pathetic.
- No.

Doesn't sound pathetic.
I'm just surprised.

Look, tell me about your church work.

Well, we, erm...

Peter, I'm so sorry.

- I don't think I know how to do this.
- Where are you going?

- I... Thank you for this.
- Well, we have dinner...

Hey, did I wake you up?

No.

So, thanks, you know, for
lying for me this afternoon.

So, why did you do it?

- You mean, after you being such a bitch to me?
- I'm not a bitch.

Well, if you don't want
people to think you're a bitch,

- stop acting like such a bitch.
- You didn't answer my question.

- Why did you lie for me?
- I don't know.

I think I felt sorry for you.

You look different when you're scared.

I'm going back to bed.

This doesn't make us friends, you know.

I don't want to be your friend.
I want you to leave me alone.

- Jean, hey, will you please wait?
- No, please.

I'm sorry. This was a really bad idea.

It's not you. You're a very nice man.

- I just think, if you gave this more of a chance...
- You don't understand.

- We can just chat.
- No, I don't want to chat.

I don't want to talk
about the boring people

I do boring volunteer work with.

I don't want to talk about how
I've never really done anything,

and I never really fit in anywhere,
and I don't want to talk about

- how it's been over 20 years.
- 23 goddamn years.

I don't think that...

... I ever got to be the
person that I was meant to be.

I don't want to chat about that.

Well, then don't. Let's
do whatever you want to do.

Well... I don't know.

I... You know, I just
thought I'd like to go to...

I want to go to, you know...

- Do you want to come back to my house?
- Yes.

Yeah, because I...

If I can get all of this stuff out,

yeah, maybe I could have
a normal conversation,

because I am very, very angry right now.

Ah, I'm just... Ugh. Fuck.

I'm just gonna have a seat.

Well, maybe it would be a good
idea if you took it out on me.

- Yeah, OK.
- Although I've got a herniated disc, so...

I've got bursitis on both hips.

I've had a knee replacement.

- I've got a torn rotator cuff.
- I have tennis elbow.

Well, I've got Achilles tendonitis.

Well, we should probably
do some stretches.

Hey, Jim.

- What are you doing up?
- My house. I can do whatever I want when I want.

- Have you been crying?
- Don't be fucking stupid.

You have been. Don't you panic eating.

What's up? How about you
mind your own beeswax?

You've got no right to be
here in the first place,

let alone meddle in my personal
affairs. Just get out of my sight.

You know what this sounds like to me?

Sounds to me like you've
got your very first period

and you need to talk about
your sore little vagina.

That's it. I want you out
of this house right now.

You can't make that decision.
This is not your house.

- Yes, it is, I've been here for 20 years.
- I was born first.

That wasn't the evening I
expected, I'll be honest.

Oh, yeah, probably don't tell
the guys down at the pool.

Oh, I'm telling everyone.

You're going to get a real reputation.

I'll write about you on toilet doors,

your phone number, and everything.

Listen, this might be a bit fast,

but I have a friend whose
son's opened a restaurant.

It's in the vineyards. We
could go up for the night.

Er...

Yeah. OK, that sounds good.

I really enjoyed tonight.
You were so honest with me.

I haven't had that with
anyone for a long time.

Me, too.

- See you at the pool tomorrow?
- I might need a bit of a sleep-in.

See ya.

You ruined my fucking life.
I've lost Bev because of you.

You're gonna blame me
for that? Explain to me

how I'm responsible for Bev leaving you!

Mum, thank God you're here.

Sammy's presence in this
house has become toxic.

Yeah. And she's not cleaned out
one thing out of the basement.

You were strict and specific
about your instructions.

That is bullshit! I cleaned
out a bunch of magazines.

Most of the crap down
there is yours, anyway!

- Listen.
- What?

You don't have to clean
out the basement, all right?

Muah.

I love you both. Good night.

OK, captains, choose your teams.

Tess Burbeck.

There's always some scheme with
you, isn't there, Joan Collins?

Ugh!

This is illegal, Abby.

Why does everyone
think I'm a prostitute?

Fuck you.

There's a lovely bistro. Oh!

Ahh! Bev! Beverly!

- Oh, shit!
- Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!

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- www.addic7ed.com -