Original subtitles

Give me a break.

- You guys excited? - Dream come true.

Yeah, Europe again.

It's just my parents trying to get rid of me for two months.

What else is new?

Swell, when's your mom leaving for Australia?

In about an hour and a half. I can't wait.

I'm getting rid of her for two whole months.

I don't understand. Your mom can afford to go to Australia...

but can't afford to send you to Europe with some friends for graduation?

- Aren't you pissed you can't go? - Her boyfriend's paying for it.

He wants her to see his sheep ranch.

Besides, she needs the growing experience more than I do.

She's leaving you guys all alone? What about the kids, hmm?

Kenny will watch Zach, Melissa will watch Walter, and I'll have Mom's car.

I can go to the beach, stay out as late as I want.

I can do anything. I'm a free woman.

Melissa, lunch, honey.

- Come on. - Right.

Melissa, right now.

- Elvis needs fresh water. - I'll do it in a minute.

Zach, put it back.

Right now. Ifyou need money, ask me first.

- Can I have ten dollars? - Forget it.

Fry, you suckers.

Earth to Melissa.

How come you gotta go?

Because I've had a very rough 37 years and I need a break.

You swore you'd sign me up for baseball.

- Little League will be there next year. - So will Australia.

- I wish Dad were around. - No, you don't.

Kenny, give me a break.

You haven't taken out the trash in weeks, the lawn needs mowing...

and your room looks like a disaster area!

- See you, Swell. - Bye-bye.

Stay away from her. She's in one of her Terminator moods.

Hey, Nicole.

Swell, have my baby.

In your dreams, babe.

Hi, Mom.

Why did you leave your dishes in the sink for me?

God, you take these things so personally.

- The dishwasher's full. - So empty it.

That's Kenny's job.

Kenny, get back here!

Right now!

I'll do it later, Mom! I promise!

Is your mom leavin' for like months?

Shit, you're right. Bye, Mom!

- Have a blast! - Right.

Rock and roll!

- No prizes. - Hey, Swell.

As usual, your brother's proven he's not the least bit involved with this family.

Relax, Mom. I'll keep him in line.

Did you see his report card? He got all D's.

Did you yell at him?

No. I couldn't. It's an improvement.

Mom, takin' off on us like that, huh?

Shirkin' all that parental responsibility.

Oh, I'm sure everything will be taken care of.

Yeah. Relax, Mom.

Everything's gonna be great when you're gone.

Hello, dear.

I'm Mrs. Sturak. I'm the baby-sitter.

What?

- Mother? - She seems very nice.

Right? And she has lots of experience.

Of course she does. She's 200 years old.

It's not fair. Baby-sitters suck.

- Mrs. Sturak. - Yes?

You know there are five children?

- Yes, of course. - Do you thinkyou can handle the job?

Of course I can. My family's all gone.

Taking care of others' little ones is my whole life.

I didn't get a chance to go to the store...

but there's money in here for groceries and some spending money for the kids.

There's also a list of instructions, and the phone number in Australia.

- You go have a lovely time. - Thankyou.

Walter, come give Mommy a kiss.

Bye, Elvis.

Melissa, want to come down from there?

- No. - Get down from there.

I can't believe you're doing this to me. A baby-sitter?

Honey, I couldn't leave you kids all alone.

You're not capable of running the show while I'm gone. You're not an adult yet.

Now, I know we've been over this at least a thousand times...

but please, don't do anything you know I'd be against.

I don't wanna hearyou've given this nice old lady a hard time.

You're gonna miss your flight.

Promise me you'll go register at City College for fall, okay?

I haven't quite decided on that yet.

I'll miss you.

- Bye, Mom. - Yeah.

Bye, everybody. Listen to Mrs. Sturak.

Mom, can you call us every day?

Walter, this is Mom's vacation, but I'll try.

Mrs. Sturak knows where to reach me.

Bye, sweetheart. Be good.

Love you. Bye, honey. Be good, everybody!

Take care of each other!

You little maggots, line up! Time to go over the rules!

Excuse me? Are you serious?

You can't run a tight ship without rules. Now move!

- What's this lady's problem? - I'm scared.

I am too.

Lady, I don't know what your deal is, but you're not here to order us around.

I've had about enough ofyour lip, missy.

Cooperate...

or I'll make your summer a living hell!

Dr.. Louise Westheimer..

Alaska.

Alaska-- Alaska container.

Alaska spill.

Hey! I was watching that!

TV rots your brains.

Go to your room.

I expect a complete report tomorrow morning on the life of the aardvark.

Cynthia, you're my moon goddess.

Time for little boys to be in bed.

Can't you see I'm in the middle of a date?

And time for little trollops to go home!

Wait! You can't. Cynthia, wait!

I'll call you later.

Darling.

It's time for little girls to dress like little girls.

Sugar and spice!

God is definitely pissed off at me.

I have no money. I have no boyfriend.

You guys are gonna be in Europe all summer.

Yeah, my mom left us with this deranged Mary Poppins.

We've gotta get rid of the old lady.

Nicole, hang on. Why are you wearing name tags?

- She has trouble remembering things. - We're to wear them at all times.

She's getting us up at the butt-crack of dawn to tidy up the garage.

Oh, God. Nicole, I have to call you back.

All right. Bye.

I really don't think I can live like this.

Okay, I'll talk to her. It's time we let her know the rules.

- Yeah, we outnumber her. - Let's kick some ass.

Probably can't even hear me.

Look, Mrs. Sturak.

Whetheryou thinkyou can push us around or not...

we've decided that we're not gonna take any more ofyour crap.

First of all, the name tags have gotta go.

Mrs. Sturak, are you even listening to me?

Oh, my God.

Fuck.

Hey, get out.

Kenny, come downstairs. You're not gonna believe this.

I told you to talk to her. Didn't want you to send her to the glue factory.

I didn't kill her. She died in her sleep.

Probably choked on her whistle.

- She doesn't look dead. - That's 'cause it just happened.

So you can't really tell, like a MacGyver..

What should we do with her body?

Call an ambulance? Call the cops? I don't know.

They're gonna ask us a lot of questions.

They'll probably blame us.

- They'll definitely call Mom. - She'll blame us.

She'll hop the next flight home, and then she'll be in our faces.

- I don't want Mom to come home. - I don't either.

- Easy. - She's starting to stink.

It's too soon. It must be you.

- Shut up. - Be careful.

- I got her. - I mean my skateboard.

You ran over my foot.

Sure she's gonna fit?

How should I know? I've never done this before.

Well, neither have I.

I think we should measure her first.

- Let's hack off her head! - Yeah!

All right, go get that metal tape measure out of the garage.

Would you stop ordering us around? You're not the baby-sitter.

That's right, Kenny. The baby-sitter is dead.

Now just do it.

We're saving the ambulance people a trip, right?

When they find her, they'll take care of everything.

And no one has to know she was our sitter.

She said she didn't have any family, so this is--

This is really the decent thing to do.

Hey, Bobby.

Now, who would do such a thing?

It's the lifting that gets me.

God, I feel terrible.

I should've been nicer to her.

I should've cooperated.

Yeah. She was a great baby-sitter.

- Where are you going? - I'm going shopping for food.

Yeah! Massive party supplies! I got shotgun!

You're taking Mrs. Sturak's car?

Zach, life goes on.

I mean, come on. This car's a classic.

I think that she'd want it this way, don't you?

How much did Mom leave us?

There's no money in here.

I saw Mom give it to Mrs. Sturak.

Well, she must've taken it out.

Holy shit!

- Where is the damn thing? - Shoot!

Out of my way!

Come on! Come on!

- Maybe it's here. - I looked in there already.

- Find it? - She must've had it on her.

It's ours! Go back and get it from the old hag!

Yeah, right. We go and say, "Excuse me. We left money on our dead baby-sitter."

No way.

- Who's gonna clean this place up? - Not me.

What are we gonna do for cash for the next two months?

How about a garage sale?

- We live in the boonies. - How about calling Dad?

- Dad doesn't care. - What about blackmailing Dad?

What about donating blood? They pay you.

You have to be over 1 8.

There goes our great summer.

Hello?

Mom.

Hi, Mom.

How's Australia?

Really? Great.

Yeah, they're fine. Everything's fine.

Oh, Mrs. Sturak?

Well, she's not here right now.

She had a date.

Some guy. A mortician.

Relax. I'm looking after things while she's gone. Everything's gonna be fine.

I love you too. Okay.

All right, bye.

- You only got one bag of chips. - We could only afford the necessities.

This place is a crock. We're never gonna make it two months.

Man, I'm gonna hole up at Lizard's.

That's real brotherly. Don't you have any pride?

When our food's gone, we can eat Elvis.

What do you want from me?

Would you like me to call Mom back? 'Cause I can.

Want to call Aunt Pat...

or go crawling to one of Mom's semi-wretched friends?

We don't need a warden.

We don't need an adult around telling us when to eat, sleep and vacuum, right?

We could have a great summer. We just gotta stick together.

- Okay, yeah. - Totally.

Well, one of us has to get a job.

I'm not gonna.

We don't have any choice. We'll flip for it.

Mama Celeste face up, I go to work.

Mama Celeste face down, you're sellin' carnations on a freeway off-ramp.

Okay, I'll get a job. But you gotta stay and watch the kids.

Hey, no problem, twisted sister.

I can get a job at a clothing store.

They'll hire me in a second. It'll be great.

You gotta squeeze the fat out of those burgers better.

You're gettin' the hang of it.

I'm Bryan.

Swell, remember.

Put on a happy face.

Did he just finish reading Dianetics?

- No. He's just on helium. - Bryan.

Another happy delivery.

You gotta put chili on those Clown Dogs, and keep it movin'.

This is great, man. My sister's working.

There's no one around nagging me anymore.

- I'm born free. - Hey, dude.

- Let's go to the Guitar Center. - Wait, guys.

We seem to be experiencing a negative cash-flow problem here.

Let's go to my place. I'll rip off my mom's MasterCard again.

Master the possibilities.

I gotta get out of here.

My dad is pissed about my report card. I gotta kiss ass a couple more days.

You know what, guys?

We keep this up, we're never gettin' out of school, man.

Far out!

Rock and roll!

- Thanks. - Sure.

- Did you have a lot of deliveries? - Yeah. I'm the stork of fast food.

You're lucky. It's better than being here.

Yeah, I guess.

God, this place is so disgusting.

- How can you stand it? - Just try to hang with it.

Shit.

- Gross. - Not your dream job, huh?

You got that right.

You'd think I woke up this morning and thought...

"Gee, I'd love to scrub fat vats.

I'd love to smile and work with raw meat."

At least it gives you some extra cash.

I'm not working at the big top from hell for pocket money.

My mom's out of town, and I have my brothers and sister to feed.

And no one's gonna hire a teenager to do anything that isn't disgusting.

Why can't I just get a job at some nice, clean office?

Why don't you just quit?

How's the scrubba-dub-dubbing going?

You're almost doing that correctly...

but you forgot one very big thing.

- Not enough cleanser? - Nope.

Forgot to put on a happy face.

Next, you get to scrape the spitballs off the drive-through window...

with a really fun squeegee!

Look, Mr. Egg.

Finish the Happy Fat vats yourself.

Thanks foryour advice.

Maybe I'll see you around.

You're just copying it right out of the book?

I changed the name, and I'm adding some glamorous fashion stuff.

Spell that a little faster. Your number?

Excuse me.

- I'm applying for the receptionist job. - Hold.

Reception. I can't right now.

I have to stay and redirect all the incompetents who are coming up here...

instead of going straight to Personnel like they are supposed to.

All right, all right. I'll be right there.

You'll have about 1 2 seconds.

You are supposed to go down to Personnel.

That is on...

the first floor.

There is a great big sign that says...

"Personnel."

Do you...

understand?

Where's Carolyn? Mousy-brown hair, gives you a headache?

- Talks like she's chewing her face? - That's her.

She'll be back in a few seconds. I'm here for the receptionist job.

- Is this your r�sum�? - Yeah.

Wow.

Very impressive.

- This is fabulous. - Thankyou.

Listen. They're looking for a receptionist to replace Carolyn.

She's supposed to move up to be my executive administrative assistant.

I can't stand her, so do me a favor. You be my assistant.

I'll just tell 'em I hired outside the company.

What about the receptionist job?

What, are you burnt out? You wanna take a step down?

Well, I won't let you. I need you.

And besides, you're so overqualified for entry level, it's ridiculous.

For God's sakes, you're a Vassar gal.

And you'd much rather be my executive assistant.

Please say yes.

Yes!

We're up here with the other vice presidents...

our executive staff and our advertising people.

Downstairs are the designers...

our warehouse and showroom, and our manufacturing and assembly line.

You graduated six years ago, so you're 27, 28?

- Yeah. - You don't look it.

My last assistant was only 23 and still wet behind the ears.

Okay, this is your office. Mine's through the archway.

These are your things. Your Rolodex.

There's your computer, WordStar and Lotus.

There's your mouse. The refrigerator's over there.

Just leave a list for Carolyn. She'll stock it for you, okay?

- Are you all right? - Yeah, great.

So, these are my things. When do I get paid?

First and fifteenth of every month. Is that it?

Great. Gus, hi.

This is my new administrative assistant, Sue Ellen.

Sue Ellen, this is Gus Brandon, vice president of marketing.

- And he serves me breakfast in bed. - Only when she deserves it.

- Nice to meet you. - Good morning.

- See you for lunch? - I'll let you know.

I'm interfacing with New York at 3:00, and I have a report due today.

We'll play it by ear.

Talk to you later.

Bye. Sue Ellen, right?

Have a great weekend. See you Monday, 8:00 sharp.

By the way, I'm Rose Lindsey, senior vice president of operations.

And when Beatrice from Personnel calls, she's a really pushy broad.

Just tell her I hired you. And find out about your medical benefits and pension.

Oh, one more thing, and this is so important.

Whenever we're not alone or I'm on the phone and I askyou something--

doesn't matter what it is-- you always say...

"I'm right on top of that, Rose."

- Welcome aboard, sweetie. - Thankyou.

I'm gonna get you, sucker!

I need more money.

Get out of here.

Anyway, I have my own office...

and this fridge stocked with Diet Sprite and Tab, and I have a great view.

What's the job?

I am the executive administrative assistant...

to the senior vice president of operations.

- What the hell is that? - I don't know.

What are they gonna pay you?

$37,500 a year.

No way!

Shit! You're gonna drown! Choke!

I'm a fast learner. I'll catch on.

You're never gonna get to the beach.

Yeah, but who cares? I'm a career woman now.

Better bring some bucks home tomorrow 'cause we're totally out of food.

Wait a minute. I don't get paid for two weeks.

Help. We need money. We have no food.

- Are those drag queens? - What's a drag queen?

- That's our car! - Let's go!

What are you queens doin' in our car?

Step on it!

Liza?

Shit! I loved that car.

Call the cops.

What are we gonna say? Liza Minnelli stole our Buick?

- It wasn't even our Buick. - This sucks.

- Now how are we gonna get home? - I miss Mommy.

- Call Nicole. - All of my friends are in Europe.

- What about Lizard or Hellhound? - We don't have any money.

- You'd have to bribe them? - Yeah.

Who else do you know that drives?

Who's the bozo?

Hi. Thanks for coming.

No problem. I kind of like being a hero.

Me and my trusty steed.

Just get in the car. Come on. Come on.

My mom doesn't want us to use her Volvo while she's away.

Can't believe my friends ditched us like that.

But wasn't that your car I saw at Clown Dog? Whitewalls and stuff?

Yeah, well, it was kind of a loaner.

Swell, what are you doing? Come on!

Hold on. I'll be there in a minute.

I'm sorry if I acted like a bitch the other night at Clown Dog...

just walking out like that.

- It cracked Mr. Egg when you left. - Really?

Did you get stuck finishing the fat vats?

Lard is my life.

At least until college.

- I'm glad you called, really. - Yeah, me too.

Could you hurry up?

Melissa and Zach are beating each other up over the last Sno Ball.

It's the last food we got.

- You guys really out of food? - No.

They're just being obnoxious. I'm going to the market in the morning.

I've got some extra leftovers from my dinner deliveries, so ifyou want 'em--

No, that's okay.

Maybe we'll take 'em. Thanks.

Sure.

You wanna go to the beach and watch the grunion run Monday night?

You mean, a date?

Yeah. I'm free. I gotta check with the grunion, but--

Yeah, a date.

Yeah, sure. I like grunion.

Me too.

Thanks again.

Bye.

We have unhealthful air. quality today thr.oughout the LosAngeles basin.

KDJI news time is 5:30 A.M., and ifthis isyour. wake-up call...

wake up!

- You guys are up already? - It's summer.

- I'm a morning person. - I'm hungry.

What do you guys want for breakfast?

- A steak. - Cheese omelet.

- SpaghettiOs. - Okay.

Breakfast is served.

Excuse me. Where do you think you're going?

To Rose Lindsey's office. I work for her now.

You?

Hi. I'm Sue Ellen.

Well, don't bother getting too settled in, hmm?

Yes, we have temporarily cut back on quality fabrics...

due to a receding profit margin.

I understand. Anytime you want to come back to G.A.W.

Thankyou for telling me personally.

Bye-bye. Would you all please excuse us for a minute?

- Sure, Rose. - Fabulous.

Oh, Lord. We just lost another account.

Costs are up, overhead is high, sales are down.

New York's gonna be none too thrilled with their industrial uniform division.

This is our new spring line.

- Lovely, isn't it? - Yeah, lovely.

You know, I thought we made designer clothes.

Sue Ellen, no.

We're in the bowels of the fashion industry.

General Apparel West is one of 32 subdivisions of ChemTech America...

one of our nation's leading chemical corporations.

This is our design area...

and this is Franklin, our head designer.

You'll be verifying his purchase orders pending my approval...

and consulting with him on budget estimates.

- Bye, Franklin. - Bye.

You'll also be coordinating our sales, manufacturing and advertising people.

I'm gonna need biweekly reports from you.

Basically, you're the hub of our communication network.

Hub.

- I hate you. - Sue Ellen?

Start getting updated reports from the department heads and coordinating them.

You can access the format on the C-drive.

Until you lay it out on a spreadsheet, the market analysis is too amorphous.

The Q.E.D. report. I've made notes. See ifyou can make a dent after lunch.

And fax this to New York for me. Don't feel overwhelmed.

Just do one thing at a time.

Looking for something, Sue Ellen?

Yeah. Where did that come from?

I had it delivered. Do you have a problem with that?

No. I was just wondering why they would come all this way to bring a chili dog.

My little brother drives the delivery van.

Occasionally...

he goes out of his way to bring me lunch, all right?

That's nice. Your little brother.

I need to fax something. How would I do that?

Gosh, Sue Ellen.

Being an executive administrative assistant, you can figure that out.

Hello?

Hi. Are you a temp?

No. I'm Sue Ellen. I work for Rose.

Hi. I'm Cathy.

So you're Rose's new executive administrative assistant.

Well, congratulations.

I submitted my r�sum�, but it wasn't good enough.

Wow. Working with Rose must be so neat.

Am I cutting in front ofyou? Are you faxing?

No, I'm still organizing my spreadsheet...

and my projections-- amorphous hub stuff.

Oh, right.

So anyway, I'm Fred Kibrick's secretary over in sales.

It has been really slow.

- Gosh! You're swamped! - Yeah.

I'm a whiz on the computer...

so ifyou ever have anything for me, just ask.

Ifyou want-- Are you familiar with the Q.E.D. report?

Oh, wow. Really?

- Yeah, go ahead, really. - Thankyou.

Oh, and don't feel overwhelmed. Just do one thing at a time.

Right.

- Hello? - How's it goin'?

What do you mean?

How ar.eyou? Ar.e the kids okay?

No. I tied 'em to a red-ant hill. Did you get some money?

Hey, who are you? Where's that other broad, Mona?

Not yet. There's a problem.

What'd they do? Fire you?

I'm Sue Ellen. I work for Rose. Can I help you?

I need a copy of the Bob's Big Boy account figures.

What ar.eyou gonna do? This Clown Dog shit's gone, man.

What do you want me to do? We have a receding profit margin.

Yo, Gidget, could you get on it?

I can't right now. I'm on an important phone call.

Ifyou didn't get the money, why'd you call?

Hey, look. I don't have all day.

Hold on.

What is your name, and what do you do here?

I'm Bruce. I'm head inventory clerk. Why?

Well, Bruce, I'm the executive level administrative assistant...

and when I get those figures ready, I'll give you a buzz...

and you can run up here and fetch them, all right?

Yeah, sure.

- Sorry. - It's okay.

- I just called to say hi. - Aren't you busy in your career?

I'm in between important meetings. I'm so sorry I disturbed you, Kenny.

You did. We're busy.

- Fine! Screw you! - Up yours!

Bitch.

Such a punk.

What?

How you doin', Mom? Yeah.

No, everything's great.

No, Mrs. Sturak's not here. She--

She went to the yarn store.

Yeah, she's crocheting this massive doily for the couch.

I-- I gotta go, Mom.

Hey, babe. Who's the void in Lindsey's office?

She applied for the receptionist job.

Suddenly she's an executive? I don't get it.

- Ready. - Genie.

- Wher.eyou par.kyour. car.. - Gar.age?

-A hor.se r.uns at a-- - Gallop.

- You go to the super.mar.ket-- - Groceries.

- Do you ever go outside? - Nah. No TV.

No prizes.

All r.ight. Gentlemen, you've got it.

Who do not want--

When you'r.e gonna do a cake...

you r.eally have to have a battle plan all r.eady...

so that when you start in, you can just go r.ight thr.ough the cake.

You don 't wanna go out and play cr.oquet in the middle, for. instance.

I'll give her the message. Bye.

Cathy, thank you so much.

No, Sue Ellen. Thank you. Really.

Why don't you call Siam Mania and order in lunch for us.

- The naked shrimp is to die from. - Right. Yum.

They'll deliver. Pay out of petty cash.

- Petty cash? - Cash box is in your locked drawer.

There should be plenty.

You can cash personal checks for our employees.

We work such hellish hours here, no one has time to go to the bank.

Guard it with your life, and leave receipts for whateveryou take.

I'll authorize it, okay?

Is this for me?

This is exquisite.

We're so in sync.

- Hi, Zach. - Hi.

What's wrong?

Me and Cynthia are having some problems.

I think she likes Jacob better.

Maybe she's trying to make you jealous.

Maybe.

Oh, here.

There's an article on game playing.

I really think you should read it.

Take the quiz afterward, okay?

Check it out. Elvis, I'm gonna take you higher.

Look at his eyes. Poor dude.

Kenny, could you turn the music down?

- Kenny. - What?

I have been working. I've had a very rough day.

- Could you turn the music down? - It's down, cave lady.

Kenny, why don't you save your last three brain cells?

- What ifyou need them? - I won't.

That's right. You'll never need them.

There's always gonna be some jerk around stupid enough to take care ofyou.

- What is your problem? - Yeah.

You couldn't even mow the lawn today.

You're worthless.

I am doing everything, and I'm trying to get ready for a date.

When are you gonna start helping me, you lazy little punk?

P.M.S. City, man.

God, that's cold!

So, Bryan, when do the grunion run?

Right about now.

They get washed up here on the shore after the highest tide of the full moon.

Or the new moon.

Anyway, the girl grunion, she comes and lays her eggs in the sand.

Then the guy grunion comes and fertilizes them.

So they don't, like, do it together?

Not like us.

- I mean, like humans. - Oh.

You wanna go and watch for 'em? It happens really fast.

Sure.

You goin' to college? What do you wanna do?

Oh, God. I don't know.

I'm supposed to register at City College.

You know, maybe take some fashion design classes or something.

- What about you? - My parents want me to go to UCSD.

They have a really good oceanography program there.

- That's cool. - Yeah, but I'm not so sure.

I figure I'll keep savin' up for it anyway.

That's the only reason I'm still at Clown Dog after nine months.

It's funny.

I always thought that my parents had this big college fund for me.

Yeah, me too.

But I guess that's only on the savings and loan commercials.

It's like, I don't know if I want oceanography to be my life.

I mean, I love it. Love it.

But it's like once you decide on something, it's all planned out.

It's like all of a sudden, anything you do means that's your life.

I'm not sure what I want my life to be yet.

And then you're stuck in this plan because you decided, you know?

And then you're old or older.

I don't know. I guess I'm just stalling.

What?

Nothing. I just know what you mean.

This is always--

Yeah. I hate this part.

I mean, I like this part, but-- Oh, God.

It's okay. Come here.

Forget it. I ruined the moment.

No, I ruined it because I talked about it.

When you talk, you ruin it. You can't talk unless you stop.

Kenny, wake up.

The food that I bought yesterday is already gone.

I was entertaining some friends last night, and we had the munchies.

I am not working to feed your scummy friends.

You're a career woman now.

- We can afford to be hospitable. - Whatever. Here.

- Go buy some more food for the kids. - You got paid!

Well, not exactly. It's office money, petty cash.

My paycheck's gonna be over $1,000. I'll be able to put it back.

I gotta go.

And I don't want your friends hanging around my house.

Mow the lawn today, and don't forget the dishes. Bye.

I'll do the dishes.

- Yes, Scott! - One more.

- Pull! - There!

Dishes are done, man.

Cleans 'em down to a shine.

- Hi, Franklin. - Hi.

Sue Ellen, I need to get this P.O. approved.

- I got a good deal on some material. - Good.

I was just gonna see if Rose wanted to grab some lunch in the cafeteria.

Well, you just missed her. Sorry.

Hungry?

- Good afternoon. - Thankyou.

Thankyou.

So, how long have you and Rose been together?

We're not really together. A few months.

We agreed we're not exclusive.

I date other women.

Dinner, movies, jazz clubs, the symphony.

- You like classical music? - I played cello in high school.

Do people always tell you how young you look?

No, not usually.

I'd ask how old you are, but most women don't really like that.

- No, we don't. - It baffles me.

A woman gets older...

she matures, she ripens.

Juices start flowing. What's to hide?

- Would you like something from the bar? - Have a drink.

It's a special occasion.

All right. I'd like a Martini & Rossi on the rocks.

Ah, yes. Sweet or dry?

- What? - Sweet or dry?

Um, just a little bit of both.

- And foryou, sir? - White wine spritzer.

- What's the special occasion? - It's our first lunch together.

This'll give us a chance to break down some of those corporate barriers.

By the end of lunch, we'll probably be sharing our intimate histories...

stories of our first time.

Next thing you know we'll be sharing a cigarette in postcoital bliss.

Are you talking about us having sex?

Hey, slow down. You're moving too fast for me.

But if that interests you, it can be arranged.

And if it doesn't, I was kidding.

Rosemary chicken's delicious here. Very tender.

Well, thankyou for lunch.

Anytime.

Now she's kissing up to Gus?

I can't stand that conniving little snot.

Here's another one.

In Minneapolis, an 1 1 th grader beat up a schoolmate...

over a rhinestone leather jacket and a pair of Fiorucci jeans.

I just don't think that kids are gonna want to wear uniforms.

Don't you think that they're kind of plain, kind of boring?

Frankly, it's not up to the students to decide.

Next week I'll sit the superintendent of schools down over eggs Florentine...

and I'll convince him that mandatory school uniforms...

are necessary for the safety of our schoolchildren.

Not to mention boosting G.A.W. sales. It'll be absolutely perfect.

I don't know. Kids like to wear stuff that's them.

My high school was like a fashion show.

Back then it was safe. But times, they are a-changin'.

I guess you're right. It was a long time ago.

Let's stop. I'm exhausted, and I'm late to meet Gus.

What's the deal with you and him?

We've been mutually un-exclusive for the last seven months.

I brought up the cohabitation topic recently.

I brought up the cohabitation topic recently.

And we gave it some serious thought.

We decided it would be more practical and convenient...

ifwe maintained separate space.

Which basically means he isn't ready to commit.

But they're all little boys pretending to be men, right?

All the guys that I've dated have been boys.

Precisely. The Peter Pan syndrome.

God, I really need to get away.

Gus has been trying to talk me into this wild, dirty weekend in Santa Barbara...

and I really wanna go.

I don't want him to know that...

so I haven't been too enthusiastic about it.

I know how that goes.

But tonight, I think I'll stop letting him try and persuade me.

That'll do it.

You go on home, have a glass ofwine, and put cucumber slices on your eyes.

- You'll feel much better. - Well, I'm all out of cucumbers.

Sue Ellen, every girl over 25 should have a cucumber in their house.

Remember these things? They're great. Bounce with me.

I feel stupid. We are too old to bounce.

Come on. Bouncing is an ageless pastime.

Come on.

Would you feel more comfortable if I started?

Come on.

Why'd you stop?

Good moment.

You're gonna have to get off those things.

There's a band playing at Club Lago next week. Wanna go?

- You have to be over 2 1. - Yeah. Drag.

Tomorrow I'm gonna go to the beach with some buddies. Wanna come?

I can't. I've got work.

Oh, yeah. The grind.

- Wanna go to a Dodger game tomorrow? - That sounds good.

My sister and her boyfriend got extra tickets. Box seats.

No, wait. I can't.

I just remembered, I hate baseball.

You hate baseball?

Okay. Then we'll just do something else.

- Just the two of us. - Good.

I'll pickyou up at work around 6:00?

No, don't do that. I'll call you when I get home.

- What's goin' on? - Nothing.

- Going out tomorrow night's great. - Then why not tell me where you work?

Are you doing something illegal? Are you workin' for the mob?

I just don't want you to know, okay?

What if I wanted to send you flowers or somethin'?

Well, you could send them to the house.

- Who'd sign for them? - One of the kids.

And what if they're not here? Why are you makin' this so complicated?

Then don't send me flowers.

I just wanna know what it is you do all day, that's all.

Come on. Drop it. Stop acting like Henry VIII.

Just forget it, okay? I'm sorry I cared.

That's a shitty thing to say!

You're just pissed off because I don't wanna meet your sister.

Who cares about my sister?

All I said was she's been in a slump 'cause of the backstabber at her office.

How do you know this woman is a backstabber?

Maybe she's nice. Why do you have to be so judgmental about her?

Look, Swell. What's up with you, huh?

Are you seein' someone else, or what? 'Cause that's what it sounds like.

I mean, ifyou're seein' some other guy, you don't have to do all this.

You could just tell me, just be honest.

No, there is nobody else, okay?

I just wish that you could respect my privacy.

I'd respect your privacy ifyou weren't so secretive.

I'd tell you more ifyou didn't wanna know so much.

Okay. Fine.

I'm outta here.

Doesn't look like Julia's.

Shut up, Quizzoid. Eat.

You're up.

I've been at it all night. Check these out.

Beautiful Belgian waffles. Julia made 'em on her show yesterday.

- Did you turn the air-conditioner on? - Well, I was hot.

I'm stuck with the bills.

I would like to keep that thermostat at 76, okay?

You take these things so personally.

- Where are all the dishes? - In the dishwasher.

- Then empty it. - Well, that's Zach's job.

I'll do it later.

It was your turn to dump the trash.

I couldn't fit it in my schedule.

- Bryan didn't call yet, huh? - Why not call the stud horse?

I'm letting him cool off.

I'll call him in a few weeks when all this is over.

Then I can just go to the beach and take a towel and a Walkman...

and lie in the sand and rub oil on myself...

and I won't have to interface with anybody, and get tan.

Little League sign-ups are at 1 1 :30.

- Don't forget. - I can't. I've got a sales meeting.

But you promised.

- I know. I'm sorry. - Gonna be late for work.

Yeah, well, enjoy your childhood.

Tr.affic is r.eally tied up on the northbound and southbound 405.

A tr.uck is blocking the slow lane.

You looked so incredible in that bathing suit. It was unbelievable.

Operation Eggs Florentine was a rousing success.

The school board is going to vote on it.

The superintendent needs cost estimates from us by Wednesday!

This is going to triple our profit margin.

We'll finally prove ourselves to New York.

You got roses. Who might they be from?

They're foryou.

Obviously our weekend away in Santa Barbara was the turning point for us.

Shades of real intimacy.

Have you ever had a 48-hour orgasm?

I've never been to Santa Barbara.

Look at me. I'm glowing. The man makes me glow. Am I glowing?

You're shiny.

Oh, God, I feel like a teenager.

Here are your messages.

Great. Thanks. I'm going to go glow in my office.

I stole her r�sum� from Personnel to check her out.

I had a feeling. None of these companies ever heard of her. I'm going to Rose.

But the void's getting by.

And Rose loves her. She's not going to care.

You've got to get something better on her than that.

What did she do, copy it from a r�sum� book?

Crandell house? We got your home entertainment center.

Yeah. Set it up right over there.

The vote on the unifor.m issue has been pushed up. I need those estimates today.

I don't see there being any dilemma with that at all.

We'll messenger them right over.

How are the cost estimates for the superintendent? He needs them today.

I'm right on top of that, Rose.

- Where's Cathy? - I don't know. I'm a temp.

Can I help?

- She doesn't want to go with me. - Just call her.

Oh, hi, Carolyn. I'm sick. This is a Q.E.D. report.

I promised Sue Ellen I'd do it for her. Would you see that she gets it?

- It's really important. Thanks. - Thankyou.

I don't know why, but she's keeping things from me.

I think it's another guy.

Maybe I should do something crazy, like sweep her off her feet.

Just forget about her. She's not worth it.

You deserve better.

Problem?

- Don't say anything. I understand. - What do you understand?

Well...

either the scenario is that you want to politely thank me for the roses...

oryou burst in here wanting to be impulsive...

and ask me to go to Carmel with you this weekend.

Sure. We'll fly. I have my pilot's license.

Maybe I gave you the wrong idea, but I'm not interested in you.

Then why did you burst through my door so determined, so eager?

Why are you doing this to Rose?

Hey, look, I'm kidding. Maybe I gave you the wrong idea.

- Why don't we start with the symphony? - I'm not starting anything with you.

- Thanks, guys. Bye. - Anytime.

Awesome.

I say next batch we do more mocha Swiss Amaretto ones.

Mocha Swiss. Got it.

- I need you! - Gourmet munchies, man.

Come help!

Something's wrong with the TV antenna.

I'm in a meeting. Have Bob Barker help you.

- Go long. - Thanks. Awesome.

- What is that sound? - There's something up there.

Help! Somebody help me!

Dude!

Holy shit!

- Your paycheck. - Thankyou.

Where have you been? Where's the Q.E.D. report?

Rose, I tried--

Yes, the Q.E.D. report.

I have that foryou.

What are you doing with it? What is Carolyn doing with it?

Cathy brought it by. Seems she's been covering for Sue Ellen, doing her work.

You let Cathy do the Q.E.D. report?

I was wondering how you would get that...

and the research for the school presentation done.

Bravo. You really know how to delegate responsibility.

You want to be executive material?

Keep an eye on Sue Ellen.

You are a paragon.

- Lunch? - I'd love to.

- General Apparel West. - Thanks for the roses.

She's busy right now. Can I take a message? Is this a joke?

Don't mention it.

River Ridge Hospital is on line three. There's an emergency with your son?

My son.

- Your son? - Her son?

Hello? Yes, this is Mrs. Crandell.

What? Oh, my God.

I'll be right there. Will you please tell him I will be right there?

Thankyou.

- Are you all right? - Yeah. I hope so.

- I didn't know you were married. - I'm not. I'm divorced.

It's a painful memory. I don't like to talk about it.

I'm looking for Walter Crandell.

Swell, I don't know ifhe's okay. He's in with the doctor. He better be okay.

- What happened? - I'm sorry.

Mrs. Crandell, I'm Dr. Permutter. Here he is.

Oh, my-- I'm Mrs. Crandell, Walter's mom.

How is he? What happened? How do you feel, honey? Are you okay?

It's a clean break. It should heal nicely.

I fell off the roof.

What was he doing on the roof?

I wasn't there. I should have been. I mean, not on the roof.

But I should have been with him, taking care of him.

Reading Gr.een EggsAnd Ham or some shit like that.

Walt, man, I'm really sorry.

You'll have to bring him back for a walking cast in six weeks.

Have him take one of those if he has any pain.

We'll stop and get you an ice-cream cone, okay?

That doesn't make up foryour irresponsibility.

Look! I screwed up! I'm sorry.

Is he your son too?

No. He's my stepson.

That's why we don't get along so well.

We better get along home for supper. I'm making pot roast, Walter's favorite.

Come on, kids. Let's go. Chop, chop.

- Take it easy. - Help your brother.

I can't believe you let this happen to him.

- Go to hell. - Damn it!

- Shit. - What?

My check is only for $735.

I thought you were getting, like, over a grand.

Taxes. They took half of my money away for taxes...

and some savings and pension plan.

At least I have enough to cover what we spent from petty cash.

- How are you doing? - Hollywood Squar.es are on.

Bitchin'!

- Where'd this come from? - Japan. It's state of the art.

It's nice, but where did you get the money for something so state of the art?

It was petty cash money. You were spending petty cash money.

I bought a pair of boots and a magazine! You bought a home entertainment center?

- It was Walter's idea. - It's going back.

We can't take it back. We got it on sale.

It wasn't your money. It was my money.

It wasn't really your money either. You embezzled it.

I did not embezzle it. I borrowed it.

I was going to put it back after my next paycheck, but we can't afford all this.

How could you do this? You would never steal from Mom.

That's because Mom never had that much.

There's only $30 left.

You should see the Zsa Zsa diamond ring he bought for Cynthia.

You bought her a diamond?

- How much was it? - It was a chip.

- Get it back. - Diamonds are forever.

I needed a new bike, and I got Walter the new edition of Super.Passwor.d...

and Elvis a new chew toy.

You have spent over $3,000?

You are all grounded.

- How could you steal from me? - They didn't really steal.

They borrowed. They were following your irresponsible example.

Shut up. I am in deep shit.

Quit your job. Get out while you can.

I'm an embezzler. They're going to throw me in prison.

The judge will probably go easy on you, considering you're a minor.

I'm not going to give up. I'll just economize.

I'll keep working. I'll work overtime.

A few more paychecks, I'll be able to put it back and no one will know, right?

I'm innocent.

G.A.W.'s history.

- We're going to be out of a job. - What?

The school board rejected it. You were right.

The students got wind of it and held a huge protest.

They burned uniforms in effigy. This was our last hope.

We're probably all going to be canned tomorrow.

Listen, can't you call New York?

Convince them to give us more time so we can keep working?

Why bother? It's not the end of the world.

- It's just a job. - But I need this job.

I have to tell you. I kind of have a problem.

You're not going to have a problem. You're going to be fine, believe me.

With all your qualifications and background...

you're going to land an even better job.

Do me a favor, would you?

Would you break the news to Franklin?

You're so good at dealing with the staff.

With your qualifications and background, you'll land an even better job.

Thanks.

You've been a real trouper right to the end.

I'm going to miss you.

Rose, I have an idea.

This is going to save our collective asses. It's fabulous.

I don't want New York to know anything about it. They'd never approve funding.

You'll need to rent a banquet hall. You do have enough in petty cash, right?

Well--

- I have to tell you something. - Go ahead, honey.

Banquet halls are so impersonal.

My house is fabulous. We can have it there. It'll be perfect.

We are a family of felons.

Our summer of freedom is going to be a winter prison if I don't get some help.

I want this place spick-and-span by Saturday, or I'm turning us all in.

Are you with me?

Guys, what do you say?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- Come on! What do you say? - All right!

We're with you! Rock and roll!

Thankyou.

- Take a look. - I don't know. This is risky.

Let me show you one more thing.

Here is a normal waiter's uniform, but I was thinking of changing the color.

Or it could be in black and white, turquoise and black or red and black.

- Coffee, dear? - Yeah.

Thankyou, everyone, for staying. We're going to pull an all-nighter.

Strike two!

It's okay. You can do it.

I know you can. Concentrate.

Home run! Way to go!

That's my girl.

But the recipe calls for shrimp, so I need some more cash.

I told you. We have to economize.

There's nothing left in petty cash. I've taken it all.

Just try to do the best you can.

Wait. I have a coupon for that. It's a double coupon.

Where are the kids?

Zach's at Cynthia's, Melissa's upstairs, and Walter's asleep.

- What's wrong with you? - Nothing is wrong with me.

Did you burn something?

Maybe ifyou'd called and told me you were going to be four hours late...

I could have planned my dinner better.

- I had to work late, okay? - You still should have called.

I sat, and I waited.

I went ahead and fed the kids. I worked all day on that casserole.

Sorry.

You haven't even said how nice the house looks.

You're off at the office all day doing interesting office things.

I'm stuck here, cooking and cleaning and mowing.

Helping Melissa with her fastball. Being a role model forZach.

Spending quality time with Walter. Doing your party shit!

You've got the car, and you don't even take me anywhere anymore.

When was the last time we went out to dinner together, huh?

I'm sick and tired of not being appreciated.

I appreciate you.

Eat shit!

I don't believe this.

I have to get up at 5:30 every morning, so I can beat rush-hour traffic...

and go sit behind a desk for eight hours and miss Oprah every day of my vacation.

Then I get to drive home in gridlock in a Volvo with no air-conditioning...

just so I can take care ofyou guys and put food on the damn table.

It's a rat race, and it sucks.

So what do you want, a medal?

You don't have to do all this.

I never asked you to whisk the couch.

Well, it needed it.

I knew she was a phony. I did not think she was a thief.

"Distinctive Valet Parking, Classical Accompaniment Musicians."

- "K.C. Catering." - "Bodacious Sculptures In Ice."

She didn't steal from petty cash. She paid for the buyers' shindig.

It's all legit.

Let's get out ofhere. I give up.

She's only 1 7.

Don't be r.ude to anybody.

Don't spit on anybody.

Don't wander off because I want you to meet my boss.

- Remember. Call me Mommy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Let's rehearse. Melissa, come, honey! - Okay, Mommy!

- Hi, Mrs. Crandell. - Hi, kids.

Thanks for helping out.

- Where's Kenny? - Getting ready.

- Good evening, Mrs. Crandell. - You look great.

That's Kenneth. The guests have started to arrive.

Man your trays.

Get going there.

Good tray. Good tray. All right.

Go get them, big man.

Better get your ass out there, Mrs. Crandell.

Hi, Mommy.

This is my daughter, Melissa.

Hey, boss lady, creole mushroom?

Hello, Melissa. No, thanks. Not tonight.

- Okay, bye. - Bye.

I love that they're wearing our uniforms. Fabulous touch.

- Look at the jalopy. - This is going to be so much fun.

- Yeah. - Yo, mad dog. Want to park the car?

- We're on a break, dude. - Park it yourself, Metallica breath.

I brought this Jell-O mold just in case you needed one.

This is my husband, Howard. I love your house. Oh, wow.

Take the baked Brie out of the oven. It will caramelize.

- Where you been? You're our maitre d'. - Cynthia dumped me for Jacob.

- Honey, I'm so sorry. - I just don't understand.

- She was my moon goddess. - I know.

- Get over it. - Get the diamond back?

I'm out of rumaki.

Let me get that foryou. I'm maitre d'.

Excuse me.

What is it? Something?

Since this is the biggest night in G.A.W. history...

I thought you might like to know this all rests in the hands of a child...

a child you hired.

This is by far and away the most petty...

spiteful, vindictive machination you have ever concocted.

Grow up, Carolyn.

We're here. What do you want us to do?

Great. Why don't you go up to my room and change?

I'll be up there in a few seconds, okay?

This is going to be great.

I was looking foryou. Great house.

- You look lovely. - Thankyou.

-I know you said you're not interested-- -That's right. I'm not.

I understand why. I want you to know I'm not taking this lightly.

I don't think it's fair--

I know. My timing is off.

I know you're just getting over a divorce.

You can't imagine how off your timing is. Forget it.

Or we could just have a wild, sweaty fling. What do you think?

You know...

I think the scenario here is that you're a sleazeball.

Hey. I was kidding.

I surrender.

What's this? What is this?

Just a little accident.

Gus has sort of a little crush on me.

He's been coming on to you?

Come on.

You know how I feel about you.

You're the one I want to listen to beautiful music with.

You.

He sent those roses to me.

That's not true!

Believe me.

We're all adults here, and we have a presentation to get through.

The buyer from Saks is looking foryou.

It's show time.

Good evening.

Thankyou. I'm Rose Lindsey.

On behalf of General Apparel West, I'd like to welcome you.

I'm sure you're all on the edge ofyour seats wondering what we have in store.

So to conduct our presentation, I'd like to introduce our hostess...

our recently named employee of the month...

and the woman responsible for all you're going to view tonight.

Thankyou.

Welcome, everyone.

For 1 2 years General Apparel West has enjoyed a solid reputation...

as the manufacturer of quality uniforms, but times, they are a-changin'.

We're growing. We're expanding.

We're approaching the millennium with a fresh attitude and look.

What we have foryou is a preview of the General Apparel West to come.

Ladies and gentlemen, General Apparel West proudly presents...

the teenage fashion wave of the future.

Tess, Marcie and Donna are wearing bellhop uniforms...

in fuchsia, purple and teal, hand airbrushed silk with matching caps.

The epaulets and cuff detailing are antique gold lace.

The jackets, in varying lengths, are matched with sporty black pants...

or sleek miniskirts.

The basic General Apparel West uniform has been modified and accessorized...

to create a fun and sexy look for the teenage girl.

Nicole is wearing a form-fitting nurse's uniform with mini-hemline.

It'll speed up any boy's pulse.

The black diamonds on Nicole's cap and dress...

are hand airbrushed on fuchsia spandex.

Her pink high-top sneakers are laced up her tangerine tights.

Of course, no nurse would be complete without her stethoscope necklace.

Jill, our referee, is wearing an oversized silk jersey...

in bold black-and-turquoise stripes, black tights and high-top sneakers.

Her whistle earrings and necklace and black baseball cap...

complement this carefree and spirited look with the girl...

who's playing the field and calling all the plays.

Swell, it's me. It's Bryan.

We got to talk about this. Forget about this other guy.

We can wor.k this out. It was r.eally stupid what happened.

I don't know ifit was some kind of communication meltdown or. what.

- Katrina, our chef, is... - We should wor.k it out.

really cooking in her scarf.

She's whipping up excitement in her boots. Thank you.

Thank you.

I r.eally car.e about us. Ther.e's something aboutyou.

I don't even know what it is, but I feel better around you than anyone else.

- That's why I r.eally missyou. - Our last model is Becky.

Becky is our Boy Scout. She's wearing a Boy Scout's uniform.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And, everyone, the highlight of our fashion extravaganza.

Young Bryan, our Clown Dog server.

You're having a party?

Bryan is wearing a Clown Dog uniform...

with a classic wedge cap, evoking the charming nostalgia--

- What? - Mom's home.

Hi, Mom.

- Busted. - Dude.

And that is our presentation for this evening. Thankyou for coming.

Good night.

- What are you doing? - I'm right on top of that.

Finish the presentation.

- It's not as bad as you think. - Save it.

Shit.

Go on.Just do it.

Swell! You're in big trouble, young lady.

I can't handle this anymore.

I applied for a receptionist job.

I don't even know what an executive administrator assistant does.

I lied to everyone about everything...

and I'm sorry.

I'm only 1 7. I have a curfew. I just finished high school.

I can't even vote yet.

This was supposed to be my summer vacation.

I'm not supposed to be a career mom.

I can't be the hub ofyour communication network.

I'm really not ready for any of this.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

How humiliating. I love it.

Yeah, babe.Justice is served.

What are you doing here?

So do you believe me now? Or are you just going to believe some kid?

I'm going to believe some kid.

Go to hell.

I'm not real clear about what's been going on around here...

but I want these people off my property.

I want you to start doing some heavy-duty explaining.

I am never trusting you again. I specifically said no parties.

You weren't supposed to come home yet.

Sorry to have messed up your plans. Who are these people?

- Mom, calm down. - I will not calm down.

What happened to Walter?

He had a little accident, but everything is taken care of.

We have excellent medical coverage.

We will clean up the party.

You've had a long flight, and you're cranky.

I have had a very rough night.

Why don't you go upstairs and take a nap?

Tomorrow morning Kenny will whip up a batch of Belgium waffles...

and we'll sit down and discuss this like adults.

Fine.

Why don't you guys go wrap up the party?

- Why don't you help Walter to bed? - Good night, Mom-- I mean, Swell.

Thankyou.

- What did you do to yourself? - We'll talk about it in the morning.

But for now, why don't you just go to your room?

- I can't believe it. - Oh, that's very funny.

What?

I'll be damned.

I am so sorry.

The buyers didn't care anything about that scene.

They're all just a bunch of old whores.

They loved your ideas.

I see nothing but dollar signs.

As a matter of fact, they complimented me...

on hiring a teenager to gain market perspective.

I've got seven meetings set up next week alone.

They want the new G.A.W. Iine.

But what about everything else?

I lied to you. I'm a terrible person.

Well, I suppose you'll grow out of that.

Maybe.

Dude, that was a superior party. Superior eats.

- Yeah. Thanks for helping out. - No problem.

What do you say, beer bust tomorrow night?

I can't. I got a date with Swell's friend Nicole.

- The nurse? - Yeah.

Hot.

School starts next week. Lazy days.

I don't know. I was thinking I might go to class more.

Why?

Well, it's time to finish up school.

I might take some Home Ec.

Graduate.

Maybe go to the culinary academy or some shit like that.

- That could be cool. - Yeah. It's time to do something.

Please reconsider. I'm offering you a wonderful opportunity.

I know. I appreciate it a lot. Really.

But I think I'm going to try college.

Design school or something. I don't know. I still have a lot to learn.

Ifyou want to get into Vassar, I could pull some strings.

Maybe.

I'm going to miss you.

I'm going to miss you too.

Thankyou.

Let's get together Monday night. We'll have dinner.

Bye, sweetie.

I'm really sorry.

Yeah.

Carolyn and I both pretty much figured out what's been going on.

Is that everything?

There isn't anything else you haven't told me, right?

You're not really a guy, are you?

So, did you mean what you said about working things out?

We broke up. Remember?

We didn't break up. We had a fight.

- Yeah, because you were lying to me. - Yeah, but that's over.

So ifyou thought we broke up, I guess you thought we were together, huh?

Well, yeah.

Anyway, I guess now that I know the truth--

Well, thanks for sticking around.

What are you doing New Year's Eve?

I think this is another really good moment.

Me too.

How'd you thinkyou could get away with all this anyway?

I pretty much did.

- Swell, one more thing. - Yeah, Mom?

Where is the baby-sitter?

I'm really going to miss her.

You never even knew her.

Yeah, but she left us all her money.

She's already dead, you moron!

Well, that's true.

How about Vegas this weekend? Got any money left?