Original subtitles

When I was just a baby, I didn't have many toys. But

my mama used to say, son, you got more than other boys.

Now you may not be good looking, and you may not be too rich, but you'll

never ever be alone, cause you've got lucky lips. Oh, lucky lips

are all those lucky lips. Lucky lips are all those lucky lips. Lucky

lips are all those lucky lips. I don't mean it for

you.

Rabbit foot or a good luck charm With lucky lips you'll always have

a baby

We're going to have to get up in a few hours.

Go home. Come on, what are you, some kind of a nut? It's our last night and

not going anywhere until I get myself ready. Relax, will you?

Hey, that crowd chick's hot to make it, I guarantee you. Yeah, and the gorilla's

her old man.

So who gives a fuck? The dummy's too low to the care already.

Listen, you want me to get the old guy away from her?

Go, Huey. Give it your best shot, why don't you? Piece of cake.

Here you are,

sir. Drinks, compliments to the management.

Don't mind if I do.

Just step this way.

I've had my eyes on you all night long, gorgeous.

I'm in love, Marilyn.

You're mistaken. My name is not Marilyn.

You can call me Eva.

Ah, but you're just as beautiful as Marilyn Monroe.

Why don't you and I go somewhere?

Not today, because that's my husband.

Some other time. Hey, I go in the army tomorrow.

I'm going to be without a woman for three months. Oh, you couldn't be ready

the army yet?

You're a child.

Yeah, well, I can't wait to show you what kind of child.

Can you help my husband?

You're asking us? Get your husband home, that right?

Yeah.

A real pleasure.

Why don't you have a drink on me?

I like it.

And I like the way you tip on my chin. And I like the way you let me come in

when your mama ain't there.

I like it. I like it.

I like the words you say and all the things you do.

And I like the way you straighten my tie.

And I like the way you're winking your eye. And I know I like you.

Easy, guys. You need this.

And where would you like him put? You can put him down on the sofa and then

schnell zu Eva, huh?

I'm going to get the light. Oh, that's right.

Be careful, Lizzie.

I wish somebody would be like a mad bull.

Your side, John.

I got a hernia. You better make sure he doesn't wake

up, okay?

Okay.

Okay, you better strip now.

There you are. I'm happy.

Oh, yeah.

God.

Yeah. Yeah.

Any problems?

No.

Get this shirt off.

Have my shoes.

Have my shoes.

Have my shoes. Get my shoes.

Oh,

Bobby.

Oh, Bobby, you killed Aoife.

Are you killing Aoife? You're with your old man.

Go ahead, Joey. It's your turn.

She's waiting. Go on.

Come.

Come, my darling.

Come, come.

Come,

my darling.

Come, come.

He said he want more.

So quick?

I like to do it again.

I need to do it again.

What's his name, lover boy?

His? His.

His? Me?

Huey?

Boy.

Come, boy.

Come to Eva, boy.

Let's see how he's doing.

Oh, you're not coming, Bob.

Hey, Bob.

Oh,

I'm sick. I'm sick.

Are you crazy? Everyone's going to see us.

Oh, yuck.

Oh, yuck.

Oh, yuck. Oh, yuck.

Oh, yuck.

What's this?

What's going on? I was just in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd... What

you mean you were in the fucking neighborhood?

Relax. Relax.

Relax. You're only dreaming. Yeah, who's dreaming?

Relax, Boris.

Relax.

You are just drunk.

You are hallucinating.

There's nobody here.

There's nobody here.

You'll see when you wake up in the morning. I'll be gone.

Go to sleep already.

Good night, Ava.

Good night, kid. Good night already.

Ava, once more.

He's picking on me.

That's him on his knee. I know that.

There's seven from the left and down. And the boy's name is Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown.

He's a clown.

Charlie Brown.

He's gonna get caught.

Just you wait.

Gromit? Gromit, get up.

The alarm went already.

Gromit, get up and wake your son.

So where's the fire? What do you mean the fire? I don't know if there's time

do everything.

There's plenty of time.

Everything's ready.

Romick, I told you to get up. Put some water on.

Romick, get up.

Benji, wake up. It's five o 'clock in the morning already.

You heard what I said.

You'll be late for the army. Have you people gone crazy? Why is the radio so

loud? Look at him, the complainer. You know a different way to wake His Royal

Highness. Put the kettle on. I have. It's on the fire.

Go see if the milk was delivered then. I'm trying to get some sleep, so get

You'll get plenty of sleep in the army.

What is this? You've still got to wash, get dressed, brush your teeth, and I

want to see your hair combed for a change. I don't want the army to see

bum you are on the first day.

Listen, Mr. Big Shot, you could help. Go see if the milk was delivered.

Knock it off, will you?

Benji, up.

Don't get smart with your mother because I don't take it. I'm going to make you

breakfast.

Benji, I want you to get out of that bed this minute, you hear me?

Benji, your hope is getting cold.

I give up.

I packed your good sweater in the suitcase.

Now you be sure and wear it in the evening, Benji.

And watch out, you better not lose it.

Benji, listen to what I packed in your bag. Three pairs of pajamas, socks, five

pairs. Makes sense.

And we don't drink the water, it's bad. Remember that.

Why, why all this rushing around? You've got time to spare.

Stop with the time already. That's what he was always like for school.

Ma, what are you ringing the doorbell for?

So you could say goodbye to Sonia. Oh, God.

Morning to you, Fania, darling. Benji couldn't just go away without saying

goodbye to his favorite. Oh, that's so sweet, Benji.

Move, big dummy. Move. Start the car.

We'll be ready. Plenty of time, so don't yell.

Good morning, Mr. Bacchino. Good morning, Mrs. Bacchino.

Benji goes into the military service today.

Thanks a million.

Go already.

Good morning, Mr. Klinger.

Benji said he'd like to say goodbye to you. He's going into service.

Well, it's all my baby walking.

Well, it's another man today.

Well, it's all my baby walking.

Well, it's another man today.

Well, I don't know what's the matter.

It's not a good night.

See you later, alligator.

Scotty. Angela.

Scotty. You take care and be good. I will. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Don't worry, I'll be okay.

I gotta go. Why? You got time to spare.

I gotta go, really.

Benji, darling, I tried to teach my son everything. Listen to me. Don't act like

a show -off. And also, don't be a smart guy, Benji.

Okay, already. It's embarrassing. Oh, yeah, that's enough of that.

Benji, now you remember, you get sick from greasy food. Okay, I won't eat

food. Goodbye.

Goodbye, thank you.

I'm going.

Good luck, son. Thank you, darling.

Benji, I got one favor to ask you. What?

Don't drink any marijuana.

Okay, I won't.

Watch where the hell you're going, you big lard -ass. Watch that mouth of

you big dummy. You better shut your face before I take it upon you.

Hold it, pal.

Enough.

What the hell are you, his lawyer?

No, just his bodyguard, you know. Get the message?

Leaving on bus three, soldier.

Vangelis! Vangie!

Mom, what are you doing here? I came because I had to say goodbye. You

said goodbye over there.

My mother finds it hard to say goodbye, bitch.

Oh, and you forgot your overcoat. You left it in the back of the car. I

told you. It's summer and I got no use for this coat, Ma. Look, the flu bug is

lot worse in the summer weather. Because by day it's hot, but cold night. Having

a summer cold is the worst. Ma, take the coat and get off my back, will you?

Would you tell him to take it? If he don't listen to me... Look, just leave

out of it. Everything's going to be okay. Goodbye. Now go. All right, then.

Another nice kiss.

All right, I'll be okay, Ma. It's okay.

Hello, how are you, Mrs. Weiss?

Hello, Mike.

What's this? What, you're going into service with Benji?

That's all I needed.

I'll teach your son how to be a good soldier. I know what you can teach him.

heard about it.

Thanks.

Anybody ever tell you got beautiful eyes?

Did anybody ever tell you you're a creep?

Ooh, you're wild.

What do you say? How about a date? You're loading on bus three.

What number bus? Three.

One thing I don't need is three numbers because one will be just enough. You get

bored of the bus.

Hey, what do you say, kid? How about a date?

Come closer.

the usual manner and you're gonna learn them

Forget your mamas as you're no longer children.

You may judge yourself as men now, with big females and balls.

And what is more, we are going to make heroes out of you.

I am your sergeant major.

Now I'm sure you'll be calling me a fucker.

And I shall be calling you my wanking pitha.

Understand you are the first. I am the thunder.

Yes, you are but weeds, while I am what is known as an orchid. In other words, I

am the Raja, and you do what I say. That is what is known in army language as

taking orders.

I must warn you that if you do not do what I say, that is what is known in

language as disobeying orders.

It be understood.

I said it be understood.

You're Sergeant Major.

When I ask you a question, you answer yes or a yes, Sergeant Major. Yes?

Am I not being clear?

Yes, Sergeant Major. I'm not hearing you well.

Yes, Sergeant Major.

Now remember not to say just yes, but always yes, Sergeant Major.

If by chance it is no, then you reply no, Sergeant Major.

It be understood, no? No, Sergeant Major.

That's fine.

Now bid a fond farewell to civilian life.

You'll be issued with army uniforms then.

A medical then to your barracks to begin army life. All right. Look at the

girls.

Quiet. Attention.

Shut up.

Quiet. It's rude to shout and it's rude to whistle. You get that?

What you see over the fence are women.

Don't put naughty thoughts behind you.

You must take yourself in hand.

It be understood?

Yes, what?

I don't hear you men.

That's fine.

What the fuck is all this crap?

I said, what the fuck is all this shit?

I am talking to you, kidbag.

Don't call me kidbag. My name is Huey. If I say you're a kidbag, you're a

kidbag. His name is Huey. Who said that?

I do.

Nobody asked you to shut up, sardine.

Just for you, kickback.

What's all this? You brought your own bazaar? That's no bazaar. It's my

supplies. Your what?

Supply. Supplies? I'm not hearing you.

What? Don't answer back to me. When an NCO asks you a question, say, my

supplies, sir.

Oh, no, it's not your stuff, sir. These are things I brought from home, sir. Are

you trying to get funny with me, Betso? Have you forgotten who I am? Now move.

Move it, soldier.

Left,

right, left, right, left, right.

Hold attention.

Now you will see what happens to a jelly belly when he tries to get cute by

taking the piss out of his NPO. I didn't get cute with nobody, sir. Shut up.

Fall.

Sorry? I said fall.

What's his fault?

You have never heard of the rice fall?

Never.

Are you clear?

Not quite, sir. Could you do for me once more?

I most certainly can.

My first duty as commander must always be to show my men the example, no?

and your bollocks, sardine?

Don't call me sardine. I don't think that's fair. I didn't hear you properly.

Saying it's not fair, and it isn't fair, sir.

But you're so right it's not fair, Elvis Presley.

Look at that sack full of blubber there.

You have no pity for it. That man so lonely makes me cry, so let's give him

pleasure of your company now.

Attention! Forward march!

Left, right!

I can't. That's it for me. You think this is the army of the Taj Mahal or

The army, sir.

That's fine.

Put the suitcases down.

Put the suitcases up and down and up and down and up and down and up and up.

I'll turn you into a belly dancer instead of a pregnant penguin.

Hey,

wait a minute, buddy. I'm a 50.

My, oh, my. What's this look like? No, really. I wear a size 50. You got it all

standard issue. Now, get your fat ass in gear and get going. Now, what's all

this air?

This pissed -ass recruit thinks he's got a beast. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm a size 50, and this guy won't give me the right size.

You want a 50, and he won't give it you.

You can have 50 immediately.

That's a million.

I mean, 50 laps around the track.

What have I done?

You better move it. It'll be 100.

Could you hold my gear, sir?

150 laps.

me as a cocktail fist.

This tasty little concoction made of nits and microbe should cleanse and

you, my Elvis Presley.

Would you like to give me another one?

That and more.

More? Well, I'm ready if you are. How about us getting together later?

How about a large enema?

No, shit.

Come on, Presley. Come on. You're holding up the cue. Your next kid bag.

Give him a tank full.

I had all my shots already, miss, before I left school.

I tell you, I've had all my shots already, nurse. Miss, you're making a

mistake. Listen, you shouldn't do it. It's a big mistake. The shots will knock

me out and I'll get very sick and I'll fall over.

Did I hurt you much?

It's all over.

It sure is. Really?

Yeah.

Put him back on.

Grab the underwear.

No way.

What about the family?

Anybody had a clap?

Never.

Just answer yes or no.

No.

You have to change your underwear every day.

You can bet on it.

Just answer yes or no.

Yes. That's better.

I tell you, I don't want to hear about it. You can tell him. You can tell him

either he does his homework or I'll tan his ass for him. Good.

You're interrupting again, soldier.

Yes, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.

Well, he's not. He's not going anywhere until his homework's done, you hear?

Now stop interrupting.

Yes, I'm still here.

Look, I already told you to tell him. Listen, if he wants to go, he'll have to

do his homework.

What are you playing for? It's only a park.

Come on.

Okay,

Nick.

Blonde candy bar.

Here you are, man.

Hey, kickback. How about candy bar? Good luck. Here's the last goodie. How much

is it? A dollar. A dollar? It's only a dime over three. All right. Go over

there, then. Yeah, but it's way after hours. It's closed. I'm surely entitled

a little extra for staying open after hours.

All right.

Fuck off.

Got a nice chocolate chick for me? No, we're all out of chocolate chicks. But I

got a blonde one that's going to freak you out.

Here, dig this.

How much do you want? Only two dollars a night.

But I want you to return her in the morning first thing.

Got anything for a dollar? For only a dollar?

Got a redhead for a buck.

Here, give me the buck.

You must be kidding. There's half a woman here.

What'd you expect for a buck? A picture that gives you the whole works? Get out

of here. Get out of here. All right.

Don't rush. Don't rush.

All right.

Quiet down.

Everybody line up in their bed.

Attention.

Hippie crawl is known as life.

Really not very nice.

I have arranged appointments for you at the saloon, Michelle.

A little sheep shearing party.

Michelle will prune your silken lot.

Left, right, left, right, left, right, left.

Let's dress up this line dammit the rule is nobody makes a sound nobody see not

even a smile They're gonna turn us in the skinny Keep

your mouth shut and get going kit bag

Son of a bitch butchers you and calls it a haircut.

Soldier, come back here.

Are you talking to me? Save the grief, have a seat.

Can I come back in ten minutes?

Get off it.

Here? Sit, sit, sit, sit.

Look, I don't suppose you're going to make an exception.

Ten bucks talk.

All right.

All he got was a little trim. I keep saying there's nothing to worry about.

You tell him I sent you, then all you have to do is toss him ten bucks and

all be okay.

We have a single file here, soldier. I know, sir, but I've already had my

haircut. When did you have it cut? Just now, sir. Not so.

Get in there at once!

Move your fat ass! Get in there!

Listen, Michel.

Give this guy one of your specials. I want his head to look like an egg. But

I've already had my haircut here. I'll tell you one thing. I know I never cut

your hair. I was in here a couple of minutes ago.

Captain, I swear, this is the first time I ever laid eyes on him. Just as I

thought. Party target.

At the double.

Take it in.

Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire.

Blast it off.

Excuse me, Captain.

You wanted a headquarters. I'll be right there.

Sure, Tommy Shell.

Yeah. I want to eat shorter than the fluff on his cock, right?

Yes, sir. Got it.

Look what the hell you did. I'm right, sir.

I tried to help you, sir.

Here's your five dollars.

I gave ten bucks to you, didn't I? You got half the haircut, so I get half the

dough. How can I go out looking like this?

Settle down.

Once you become accustomed to it, you'll be crazy about it.

You look like a bad joke.

Big... Oh, shit, Ed.

Hey, Baldy.

Hey, Baldy.

Boil it, Ed!

What, sir? What, sir?

What's that cactus on your head?

Oh, that.

That's a terrific haircut.

Just following your order, sir.

It's the haircut you ordered me to get, sir. See? Don't answer back!

But he cut all my hair. Sir!

Move! Wait a minute, sir. Hey, Jog! Michelle!

Why have you given him half a haircut?

He ran out, sir. What?

Hey, that's bullshit.

I don't know what he's talking about. Right in the middle, he ran away.

He must mean us because Captain... Shut up! Sit down!

Now!

I'll tell you how much he shaved off. As short as an Eskimo's chuff.

Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. Now, you'll get the chop.

Think you're a bloody film star?

Go on, hop, hop, hop, hop. What about there?

Cut that off. Quick.

That's more like you, Brinner, eh?

Thought it was Mick Jagger, eh?

Let's have a gander.

Now, get this.

Go shower, get shaved, and comb what's left of his.

Very clear, Captain. That's better.

Do you have to butcher the whole fucking head?

Hey, look, I'm really sorry.

I'd like to return your money, sir. Thanks a million.

How about a tip?

Got to make a dollar just like everybody else, don't I?

Rick, Ruth, Mark, Dave. All right, do it.

Everybody put hands over eyes.

Now you men will march on this spot until it seems that your tummies are

rumbling a rumba cha -cha -cha.

Left.

Captain, I was just... Shut up. Don't give me answers till I ask questions.

on, Captain. Get going. Left and right and left and right.

Ramirez, front and center.

How many times must you be told to keep your stinking recruits from ogling my

girls? Cutters, my name is Ramit. Ramit.

I expected you to come by last night.

That damn frigging captain worked us over until late. I'll deck you if you

come tonight.

Curry bum, I'll be coming with some fried rice and pistachio nuts to warm

sweet and tender heart.

Ramirez, if you don't show tonight, you're dead.

You must be patient, my little lighty.

I'll get commissioned soon, then we'll marry, dear one.

Silence! Eyes covered!

Number three squad!

Shitbag!

5 o 'clock precisely.

I be understood?

Sir Major.

Sir Dean.

How may I be of service?

When did they give us our first furlough?

You have only just arrived and you want to go home?

Yes, sir. I'm not really used to sleeping with so many guys around.

Already you are homesick, Sir Dean? Are you missing your nice, cuddly mother?

Yes, sir. She usually sings a nice lullaby or two.

Shut up!

Your friend's so upset and lonely and you take the piss from him.

I really find it hurtful that you show no sympathy for this little sea urchin.

Let's sing a lullaby brimful of love.

Rock -a -bye, Benji. You are so sad.

Missing your mom.

and loves you more than you know.

And if he says sleep, to sleep you will go.

Now let us sing it with our hearts. You all sing now.

Rock -a -bye, Benji, you are so sad. Gently like me. Your mommy may

think you're dad. You're breaking my heart. But something loves you more than

you know.

If he says sleep... Attention!

Right!

suffering from an attack of insomnia, and we decided to sing him a sweet

lullaby. Are you telling me that these wankers are afraid to sleep in here?

No, Captain, it's only this small wanker. The others have no problem.

What the fuck's the matter with the babies? Are they missing Dad?

It's his mama. He is missing his ma.

Will you stop yelling? You know how delicate my eardrums are. Sorry,

Inga, Judy and Valerie.

Ravitch, you can get rid of Judy and Bobby and Mitchie. Yes, Captain. Sir, if

you like sexy chicks, there's Lily Hatchett. She's in my kit bag.

Lily what?

Lily the Hatchett.

Ravitch, did that chick go off the wall at once?

You mean Lily the Hatchett too? Damn Lily the Hatchett. You fellas got

but women in the brain.

When you got your heart on, your brains up your arse.

Don't you know it's against the rules to smoke on one guard? Yes, sir.

Let's have your cigarettes, all of them.

Yes, sir.

Is this the branch you smoke?

Yes, sir. From now on, you smoke only filtered ones. Is that clear?

Yes, sir.

To the left, face.

To the left, face.

Forward, march.

One, two, three, four.

Come on, guys, quick.

And shut.

Come on, girls, wake up, wake up. Come on, up, up.

Out of the box, come on.

Keep it down, girls. No talking.

Up, up, up. Next to your bed and no talking.

Forget it.

I know you must be confused about being gotten up like this.

The Surgeon General has just discovered evidence that there may be in this

barracks light.

No need to panic. These are not the big lights.

Now then, these are your orders. In a minute, you'll be hitting the showers.

You'll wash your hair, legs, and arms.

Company, move!

Let

me

in, God damn it. Come on, let me in.

Come here, look.

Oh, God, it's unbelievable.

He did a reset. It's a winner.

Oh, God, it's unbelievable.

What are you up to, kickbag? Nothing, miss. I was just passing by.

Well, I'd say you were ogling my girls. Ogling girls? I was just passing by.

Don't give us any shit or I'll tear off your ass and crush your balls. No shit,

really. I was just passing by and I thought I might like to take a shower. I

suppose a men's shower's not good enough, huh? It's broken. It's

get hot water. And I got a cold, so I figured I'd take a shower here and it'd

all right. You're full of shit, Belgian. Now move your fat ass out of here.

I swear, miss, I was only going to shower.

I suggest you stop the crap before I fracture your skull and teach you not to

pull that peeping Tom shit again. Now get off of me, you fat slob. On the

double. Out of my sight free before I teach my minor career race. your face,

boy. Go! Why don't you try it again? Oh, there you are. Why in the hell are you

so late? I had to go over to HQ, my little window.

You know, I told you. I suggest you keep an eye on your recruits. One of them

was here peeking in on a girl.

Don't get upset about one randy -dandy, my love.

I got some chilies and nuts to crack. We can go to my quarters, play a little

music, and perhaps a little hooky -pooky.

Tastes good.

Great. Let's have another one. No need pumpkin. They all taste the same.

Sorry, Captain, sir.

All right, how do you... You were asleep, huh?

I had such a full day's thrill. I'm exhausted and can't keep up the pace.

I'd like your name and rank and number. Renee Green. I'm a private and my number

is 251544.

What's your boyfriend's name?

Boyfriend? You do have one.

Why do you ask?

I'll ask the questions. You just answer. I'm sorry, sir.

You got a boyfriend?

There is someone who...

Just my friend.

Very good.

I'm worried, sir.

Are you going to turn me in?

Depends on you.

Tomorrow night, what will you be doing?

What I do every night, sir. Either sleep or on guard duty. That's about it.

Okay, so tomorrow you'll do something new.

I don't know what you mean, sir.

Tomorrow we'll be going out, soldier.

You mean just the two of us?

Sure.

I've got two girlfriends I'd like to bring along.

I'll get two friends for that.

Yes, Captain, sir.

Night, soldier.

Good night to you, Captain, sir.

Oh,

yeah,

great night. Oh, yeah.

That was nice.

Terrific. Why don't we sit over there? Hey, look at there. Yeah, right there.

There you go.

Take your chair.

Girls, make yourself comfortable.

So what are you drinking, ladies?

I think I'll have a soda. I'd like a milkshake. Well, that sounds good. Okay,

we'll go and get the drinks. Be back in a sec, girls.

You stay right there.

Yes, Commander.

Wow, that Renee is some kind of chick. She sure got a great beard.

Knock it off, will you? She's off limits. Huey, take care of this.

Hey, you're not getting one dime.

You know how much bread you owe me already, you guys? Put it on the pad,

miser. There's no room left in the pad for you two no -good deadbeats. What a

schmuck you are. Your buddy gets you a score, and you're making a fuss over a

couple of lousy stupid bucks. You talk score. Those chicks have never seen a

prick in their whole lives.

Then it's time you showed it to them, kid bag. I don't want to hear that from

you, man.

I gave you permission to leave the base.

Uh, well, some officers did.

I don't see them. They're at the bar. They went for drinks.

You can peddle those stories somewhere else. I don't want to hear. Pick up your

iron asses and get straight back to the base. Right now. Move it.

Okay, got it.

There's Janet.

Well, they attended one more big trouble.

Make a run for it.

How do we get out of here?

I got an idea.

Be ready.

Stop doodling and start walking. You don't get Huey out there.

Ladies and gentlemen, I take great joy...

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

Stop fidgeting before I sit on you. But it's the music. How can I help it?

Why'd you throw a flower at that pig, huh? Might as well. They belong to the

place and we don't pay for them anyway.

Thank you.

Excuse me, pumpkin.

Where the fuck are you going? I will spray the band if I don't spend a rupee.

One of you, Captain Vorchek?

Yeah? You had a telephone call from headquarters, Captain.

They want you to return to the camp. Thanks very much. Get up. We're going.

cuddles. I've just paid for some drinkies. I can't leave yet.

I'll stay and see the rest of the show. It's a pity to waste good money. There

might have been a blow -up back there.

You better get back quick. Hurry. I'll see you later.

Windaloo?

No, my mom looks like she's been blown up with balloon gas.

You are the big slap bravo. Quite superb.

Our pleasure. Our pleasure.

You're welcome.

Your beautiful voice inspired me with immortal burning.

You don't need to... Please believe me. Please, you pleasure me a great deal.

Would you please honor me by coming to my camp for a little chapati? All on me.

We're in a real big hurry. Yeah, we got a date. I beg you a little 1990 drink.

We can't go, you see. Oh, but Julie here could accompany you. She's real

friendly. No.

I'm also going to date. Now, Julie, don't worry about a thing. Ricky and I

make an excuse for you. So long.

So long.

I am aching right here. Let us forget the rest of the world.

That's me.

Over here.

That's my heart. You feel it?

I am as passionate as a baby.

John.

little blossom is what we call the royal sweet.

Enter my chili pepper.

This is my bunk, Sultana. Everything is well sprung.

Sit down, passion fruit, please.

I am the soul of discretion.

You got something to drink? But of course I have my fruit salad.

A little soda? No, lychee soda is not good. Gas makes wind in the tub.

Now we will drink a loving potion. It be known as whiskey.

When a man is bitten by the love bug, a drink is needed to arouse the king.

Here's to you, Chapati.

Yeah, to me.

Stop it. Why, my delicious one, has my watermelon never had the pleasure? Still

pure as virgin snow?

Oh, no. What's the matter? No, it's not that. Don't tell me that you're scared

of cocks. No, I have to know you better, that's all.

You can't do it all of a sudden just like that.

Absolutely, Tika.

I'll put on some music to warm your heart. Makes you romantic, yes?

No, I can't. I am very tired. I'll go home because I really am feeling very

well.

Music shows the savage breath.

A little dance, you'll feel better.

I

must

get my equipment prepared.

Oh, my God, she's a raver.

She drives me crazy with her teasing.

Oh, you naughty handful, you want to play games. Oh, you're teasing.

You're making it hard for me. Come, dance. I want you close.

I don't want to.

Let me squeeze you lightly.

I'll warm you nice.

You're pressing myself.

Starter, you got my engine rubbing my little curry bum.

Is it my pulse?

Now, where is your little pulse?

Here it is. It's going bum -booty -bum.

Ah, my tide of love is rising.

Men may come and go, but a rummage keeps going until he comes. Now, my darling,

you feeling warmed up now, yes?

Look at these glorious coconuts. Let me drink this sweet nectar and some apple

of love.

Ramirez! The vampire?

You'd better get out through the window.

Hurry. A surprise inspection by the brigadier. We must meet again.

I think I'd like to stay a little longer. No, no, no. You must go.

darling.

Ramirez, who the fuck were you talking to? It was me. Only me. I was singing to

my record player. Yeah, I think you're lying, Ramirez. I told you before, it's

Ramiz, my darling.

Try to remember.

Ramirez, if I ever catch you with another woman, I'll tear your face

could never love anyone but you. How many times must I say it?

My darling.

Come.

Let us dance.

With lychee lotus petals.

Soft and tender as a peach.

Gentle as a summer breeze.

Shit, I think my back's broke.

Ah!

Lift your balls!

Look alive!

Faster, Elvis!

Come on!

Eat first!

Eat first!

Come on, poop!

You'll be waking all night!

Give your hands down!

You'll tear your arse -kit back!

Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Tonight we have a special treat You may have had a hard day training your body,

so now we have arranged a little cultural inspiration.

And we have for your delight someone as beautiful as Marilyn Monroe, a marvelous

opera singer, Sylvia Aranjo.

She'll be accompanied by an accordionist.

I promise you, if anyone has much as breath during the recital, I

personally see he shovels a... A load of shit! A load of shit what?

That's fine.

Now let's give the big clap to Ravish.

Thank you, dear music lovers.

Now I'd like to do a song for all of you. A song familiar to each of you.

The aria from the opera Mignon by Thoma.

As you were.

Renee Green, you know her? Yeah, she lives in that tent.

Would you please go and call her? Yes, sir. Thanks very much.

Renee?

Renee, do you have a visitor?

Last night, why'd you disappear?

Why'd we disappear? Where did you girls go off to?

Old Vortex threw us out in order to return to quarters immediately.

Really? I'll talk to her in the morning.

No, don't. They'll see us.

Officers are allowed, you know?

Officers, yes, but us, no.

If Vortex caught us, he'd lift my weekend pass.

You've got a weekend pass?

Yes. Now I want to lay around all day long at the beach.

Alone?

That's up to you.

Hey,

watch it!

Me? I didn't do nothing.

Hey, Huey.

Tied about anyhow.

Gotta get out today.

Yeah, why?

Gotta meet up with Renee.

She's got to leave. Yeah, you get out. Don't worry about it. Can I?

Trust me.

You sure this is gonna work, man? Look, will you stop? This drink's a flake. All

you have to do is tell a good sob story. So what am I gonna tell him?

That you got these fucking nightmares full of snakes and stuff. What do you

from me? You could tell him that you piss in bed every night.

All right, next.

I'm next.

Shut the door.

Sit down.

Now, what's your problem? Well,

doctor, it's about these nightmares.

What nightmares?

These nightmares where I'm swallowed up by big, huge snakes.

That's nonsense.

Doctor, it's not nonsense.

They're big boa constrictors. No snake is able to consume a body. So you see,

nonsense.

Doctor, I piss in bed at night because of that.

Ah, you wet your bed at night.

That's no good.

You might ruin a lot of sheets and stuff.

Here, you take this over and give it to the quartermaster and they'll give you a

rubber sheet.

Can't you give me a medical certificate? Soldier, get out.

So?

Did he give you the damn certificate?

What certificate?

It was a total bust.

If you ask me, he's full of shit.

What a chance have we got?

Look, Benji, why don't we tell him we're a couple of faggots? Are you nuts?

What have you got to lose? You want to get home, don't you? Look, I'm not

I'm homosexual.

Which one's next?

Well, I mean, I was, but... We are, Doctor, us too. You came together? Yes,

have a common problem.

All right, come on in.

Please, would you both be seated?

All right, I'm listening. Would you care to explain your problem?

Look, it's not that I really... Me and Hugh are just... Listen, Doctor.

He's too embarrassed to spell it out. No need to feel embarrassed.

I want you to tell me everything.

I assure you, everything said in this clinic is privileged information.

Look, Doctor, he and I have been friends.

Bosom buddies?

Yes.

Oh, before the service?

Yeah, about two years.

Precisely. So your problem is?

I really love this guy.

And he really loves me.

Yeah, but it's not like it used to be.

It's different.

The man changed. He's not at all the loving young man I know. It's my fault.

There, you see, he always... Am I changed? No, you're the one. So don't

me. Stop quarreling. What do you mean? He's no longer the man he used to be.

Believe me.

We used to do it, I mean, really, about six or seven times or more. A week?

No, I mean a day.

Go on, talk.

It's very easy to see, Doc. The boy is sick. I mean, real sick. I got no

strength in my body to do it. He wants it from morning to night, all the time

wants it.

I say I'm tired, exhausted. I mean, they got me out there drilling, obstacle

course. I sleep.

I tell them I need the rest. It's not true.

It's not because of the obstacle course.

You just don't love me, and that's the damn truth.

You just don't love me like you used to. That guy's an info, an infomaniac. He's

an infomaniac.

Look, I'm sure this can be resolved.

It will all be okay.

Your problem is not a serious one.

I'll see that you get some tranquilizers.

and certified medical leave for three days.

Now, I want you to go home, go to bed, and rest until you recover there. Thank

you very much, Doctor.

So long.

Doctor, don't you feel I also need to rest?

Don't you have one of those for me? In your case, the problem is more

complicated.

You require a treatment that is more personal and intensive.

Therapy that's analytical and with real focus.

Come over here. Lie down on the table.

Yes, but my pad.

How about my pad? We'll discuss it later. Get up on the table, please.

Relax all of your muscles.

Now close both your eyes.

All right, keep them closed.

And explain to me in every little detail why you need it so many times a day.

I just can't live without it, Doctor. It's like I'm addicted to it. A junkie

must have it, Doctor. I long for it.

I need it each and every moment.

An insatiable appetite.

I need it real hard and fast. I can't think of anything else.

Help me, Doctor.

Oh, Doctor. Oh, I love to feel it.

I love to do everything.

Doctor, I feel an attack coming on right now. You feel like it now?

And my entire body is just aching. Your body's aching for it now?

Are you sweating?

Sweating all over.

Yes. Now. Are you sweating? Now.

I need a pass.

I really need a pass, doctor. I need one. I need a pass.

Oh, my darling.

I'll see that you get your pass as soon as I get your ass.

I'd like to say something to you. Say it then.

I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time.

What stopped you? I didn't.

Not easy.

Do you recall our first evening together?

Out with it already.

Tell me that you won't get angry.

Okay, I won't. Honest. You promise?

Cross my heart and hope to die.

And we should always tell the truth to each other, Benji.

Listen. Go on.

Crazy about you.

Get your fat carcass over here and stand to attention.

Sergeant Major, did you lose something on the ground?

No, sir. Are you quite sure?

What are you talking about?

Then what is that I see down there?

What? Where?

That there.

Don't know what you're talking about, sir.

Sergeant, get yourself over here.

What's going on, sir? I will do the asking.

Yes, sir. I forgot. Can you see something lying at my foot?

Don't see a thing, Sergeant. I think you must have an eye problem like an

ostrich with his head in the sand.

What is this?

Don't see a thing, Sergeant. Not a bloody thing.

Are you two making markings at your sergeant?

Elvis Presley, you come here.

Yes, sir. What is it?

Study this with care. Describe it.

It looks like your arm.

I know that, you idiot.

I have an object in my hand. What is it?

I don't see a friggin' thing. You see anything?

Nothing. I told him that.

Are you telling me you don't see this peel of a banana?

Peel of what? Banana, banana.

You never played with a banana.

What are you talking about? You got an idea? Sergeant Rummy, what's going on?

Captain, our little rule has been broken. The evidence speaks for itself.

of a banana.

I don't see anything there, Rummy. There.

You see? We told him before, sir.

Oh, Lord.

I'm not feeling at all well.

I warned you, Ramit. Women and whiskey soften the brain, you know.

Stop giggling.

Shoot it.

Get back to your barracks.

Sam, Ramit, pull yourself together. That's right, Captain.

And perhaps I'd better go and lie down.

Yeah, you look white as a ghost. Me? I look white? Yes, sir. You look all good.

Ooh, looks bad. I'd go straight to the infirmary. Why the infirmary?

Listen, my uncle, you know, just before he kicked the bucket, he looked just

like you do now.

My lordy, I think I may not belong to this world. Look, he's green all over.

green all over? Let's take a look at your tongue.

Why is it white?

It isn't white. No, chartreuse. For lord's sake.

I can't feel my legs.

It's the start of the doom. The doom. Oh, I'm all still.

Carry me to sickbay. I knew it would get me in the end. The doom. It took my

father in his brine.

Am I dead yet?

Rabbit!

Captain, sir. Is everything prepared for the brigadier? All men await. All the

camp is clean, ready for inspection, sir.

What about the latrine, Sergeant? The Norwegian brigadier shit on them fresh

latrines. There is no need to worry over latrines. Two men have been working on

them since dawn, Captain, sir.

You're responsible.

May you be sticking with the doom.

Left! Left!

Left! Right! Left!

I had to go home to our left. You're right. I couldn't stay here to our left.

You're right.

Hugh, are you going to get your ass over here and let's get this done? Just a

sec. I've got to figure out this damn book.

It's crazy. Everybody owes me and nobody wants to pay. They don't pay you

because with what you charge, you're ripping them off.

Are you telling me I'm ripping you off or what? Me? No. Then how come you're

paying back the five bucks you owe me? You're out of your mind. I don't owe you

a damn cent.

Oh, really?

Let's see. It's all here in the book. You took from me four waffles, a couple

Pepsis, a carton of cigarettes.

You only gave me a deuce and you owe me six bucks. Shit, I'm sick and tired of

you. What the fuck are you doing? You threw away the only record of what the

hell I'm owed. I'll get you another one. Now, we got an inspection to go to.

How am I going to get it out? You got to help me get it. You got to help me. To

hell with the inspection!

Where the fuck are you? Down here, second hole from you.

Holy shit, how did you get in there?

I fell in. Never mind, it stinks so bad I'm dying. For God's sake, get me out of

here. Steve, how in the fuck can I reach you down there in that hole? Now go get

help, please. The stink's killing me. Are you kidding? Everyone's out being

reviewed by the visiting Norwegian Brad.

God, you gotta do something.

Hey, Bobby, here, catch my book when I toss it to you and I'll tear up all your

markers. Catch it, hold it for me, and your debt is cleared.

Yeah.

Idiot. That's the thanks I get. I'm not gonna forget one red cent.

Okay, hang in there. I'll be right back.

Get right back to your company, you hear? I told you it's urgent. What's

Gotta get to the shithouse or you'll be in the ship. Huey's fell down the hole,

sir. Oh, Lord Almighty.

You're not making this up. No.

I only hope that the Brigadier won't see this.

Elvis Presley, follow my example now.

Is he still breathing?

Where are you?

Sergeant Major.

Over there, sir. Keep a lookout.

Oh, God, I'm suffocating.

Get back, you hear me? Down there. Yes. Yes, what?

Yes, sir.

Get out of there immediately, you shit -ass. I can't. I've been trying to make

it. How come you're down there? I fell in. You fell in what? I fell in the

Aren't you forgetting something?

I fell in the shit, sir.

That's fine.

How many times do you have to be told that a soldier should watch his step? He

should always look where he's falling. A soldier belongs to the government.

Now you've trapped the government in the ship.

I did not intend to, sir. Please, sir, get me out of here.

Why don't you stand on a rock or something? There aren't any rocks here.

Nothing. Only shit and more shit.

Wait there. I'll be back.

Don't go away.

Fine, man.

Captains are not now.

Captains are pleased to what?

What? It's urgent. We've had a catastrophe.

I guess I'll...

Good God, Kid Peg fell into a shithole. Get him out of the brigadier. I can't,

sir. Why can't you? He's too heavy for me. I can't lift him on my own. Come on,

then.

Quick, sir. There's no air so he could suffocate.

Attention. The captain's here to talk to you, so smarten up.

Hold up. How do you feel down there?

Shitty. What?

I can't hear you. Speak up when the captain addresses you and stand to

attention. I feel shitty start.

Why are you shouting?

You know I have an important visitor.

Don't breathe.

Don't move a muscle and don't shout until the inspection's over. That's an

order. But I can't take it any longer. I can't.

You're refusing to obey an order. Sergeant, sir.

Stay there in the shithouse or you'll end up in the glasshouse. Don't move a

muscle. Don't even swallow until the swede goes.

Norwegian. No.

He's from Norway.

You're going to argue with me in the middle of this shit, isn't there?

Don't you?

Tell the train to stop it here, sir.

Very nice.

Very clean.

Pardon. Use one minute.

No, no, sir.

I... Excuse me, sir, but the officer saw us over there.

It's okay. What's good enough for the private is certainly good enough for me.

What are you doing here? I managed to get out, Sergeant Major. Where is he?

Oh, sir. Nothing of farting around. Where is he? Oh, you mean the nice

who helped me get out? Yes, yes, but where is he now?

Well, sir, now I think we should get him out.

Martin, I think you're Norwegian friends in the caca.

Hop, hop, in the pink, in the pink, my dear. That is good, you are going to be

pinker.

Hop, hop, hop.

Only two more hours to go.

Oh, are the men who are scared of me? We the men of country three.

That's fine.

Keep it moving, kid bag.

What's wrong, Renee?

Nothing, so forget it. I got nothing to say.

Pretty good.

I needed to see you.

Yeah, I'm dying to be alone. Just the two of us.

What do you think, Jeff?

I know a place where no one will ever find us.

Come on.

I don't want you to.

All of a sudden you're embarrassed in front of me.

No, only today I'm going to undress you. I want to.

Now we'll take these pants off.

Okay, Captain, see you around.

Where are you going?

so you'd be a big man without these.

Renee, please, you've got to listen. Let me explain. I don't want to listen to

you anymore and I don't want to ever see you again, Benji, because you're a

dirty liar.

Renee. Renee, come back here.

I see you're in for a swim, Sardine.

Quiet!

Have a little compassion for your poor comrades.

They've been so worried for you, they found it impossible to sleep.

Now you return, wearing nothing but an armor -plated jackstrap.

So for his sins, what shall we make him dig?

Dig a new latrine, Sard!

Deeper. Deeper, sardine. This is your punishment for burying your bum at

It's already a good five feet, sir. That's poor. That's poor. Have you never

before? Move your ass. I show you. Move over.

Watch your son, Major, closely.

Implement slow.

Put down.

Lift. And throw. The foot.

Lift. And throw. The foot. Lift.

And through. The foot.

Lift. And through. To be a good soldier, you do everything to rhythm.

Yes, sir.

That's fine.

The foot. Lift. And through.

With rhythm.

Rene.

Rene. Rene, I've got to talk to you. Come in, will you?

Rene.

Can't you see these ladies are going on leave today?

Rene.

Tough luck, Zardy. You seem to know the girl.

Yes, sir.

And I suppose your heart's going guru -guru.

That's something which is known as love.

Yes, sir. Love is something to be cultivated. You have to manure it. Sing

little serenade to woo her tender bloody old life.

Invite her for a nice hot curry. You first act the gentleman.

You know, I heard from a certain girl that you weren't exactly the gentleman

with her. You know Julie, the big blonde?

How come you know Julie?

My cousin.

My Julie is really your cousin?

Yes. And you make her crazy. She loves your mustache.

What, Julie really goes for me? She goes for you, only she's a little offended

because of what you did. You threw her out of a window or something?

I did it because I had to. It was an emergency. The brigadier came

Sardine.

Tell Julie I apologize and I feel devastated to the soul.

I can arrange a meeting.

Can you?

See that I got a furlough? I'll make a date for you. Make a date? When?

sir. Nine o 'clock?

Yeah, if you get furloughs also for Huey and for Bobby.

Sardine.

This is between us.

It's love, no?

It's love, sir.

It's love, Sardine.

Why do I have to do it? Why not Bobby?

Because Ramit is mad about you. That's how he got our password, eh? Yeah, what

if he wants to fuck me again?

Tell him he got your period.

Give him a little blowjob.

Very funny, wise guy. You blow.

I'm not dressing up tonight. Oh, did you want a password, didn't you? Well,

okay. But you gotta dress up, too.

Ramit needs only one chick.

I've got it, man. I'll go together with Ramit, the two of you, girl. Double

date. Are you out of your mind?

Whenever he falls in love, we suffer.

Hello. Benji!

Benji, my baby!

My Benji!

Ramit! Our child is here.

Where?

Where is he? Hello.

Hello, Benji.

Are you going to be staying long? No, just tonight. Tomorrow I've got to

to the base.

Why such a short vacation?

A special furlough.

A special? A special is a good thing, no, Benji?

You're a good soldier, aren't you, Benji? How are things in the army? I

know. There will be plenty of time for army stories.

Go turn on the kettle for tea. No, I don't want tea. No time.

What? What do you mean no time? You just got here.

Yeah, I'm sorry, Dad. Is my black shirt ironed? No, I need my black shirt,

please. Black shirt? What is about a shirt?

Why are you always standing there like a dummy? Tell him to have something to

eat, something to drink. Then you have something to eat, have something to

drink. Look at this. He just came home and he's making calls already. Don't

worry, Ma. It's not long.

Hello, Rene?

Rene, I've got to talk to you. Wait a second. Listen to me. Raymond's giving

a pass.

I'm meeting at the bar at the purple door.

Hold it. I want to explain.

Let me talk already, for God's sake.

Who's Rene? Hello?

Rene?

Hello?

Who's Rene?

Leave him alone, Sonia. Can't you see the boy is upset?

Since when does a dummy talk?

Benji, this girl, is it serious? Sonia, Sonia. Yeah, it's serious. She's my

girl. A girl from your high school?

An army soldier.

So you have to leave because of this army soldier?

All of our friends will be arriving any minute. Can't you see the boy's in love?

The boy's in love. Don't fill his head with your foolishness. She's not

I love her.

How can you love a soldier?

Anne, from love you get nothing. Am I right, Romain?

Is she from a good family? I hope.

Well, her family doesn't count, because I love her. I'm crazy about her. I'm

going to marry her, so get off my back already!

My darling, I'm sorry I can't come tonight. I'm on special duty.

You bullshit me, think of what? No, my Karibam, I wouldn't do that.

It's my recruit, Sardine.

You know who I mean, young Benji. There's been an emergency at his home,

see. Yes, I said I'd go over and sort things out.

So when do you expect to come? The minute I return, I'll come over, my

Till then, Bindi. Okay, later.

Taylor, could I get the address of Private Benji's house in this city? The

they call Sardine.

Hi.

Look, I'm not speaking to you.

I, uh, I didn't mean to lie to you.

What happened to that bell?

I love you.

Oh, yeah? Well, I hate you.

Romack, did you tell our friends Angela came into town?

Sure. I told them already.

Is he asleep in bed?

No, he went out with some girl.

He found somebody already?

Oh, it's not serious. Not serious to her, not serious to me, but the boy

to get married. Get married?

Oh, what do kids know about marriage? He met in the army a very beautiful girl.

A face like an angel. And a family?

You shouldn't ask.

So she fell in love with him?

Kids.

Yeah, thanks.

Romy, get the door, please. Could be our son has returned. A minute. I'll be

right back.

Just wait till you see him. He's so mature.

Hello. Hello.

I'd like to speak to Benji.

Yes, but he's not here. He went out.

Well, I come from his army outfit.

I know. He told us about you already.

Romy, who is it?

It doesn't matter. It's just a girl from Benji's base.

So ask her in so she can meet everyone.

No, no, no. It's not worth the trouble. Besides, you've got to get back to the

base. I'm in no hurry to get back to no place.

Hello, everybody.

Would you like something to drink? Here, take the glass.

Oh, a face like an angel.

Oh, hey, Robby.

Did you do something before I dropped in? Listen, both in the army, what are

expected to deliver? He told me the first year we'd live with his folks.

How can you do this? It's impossible.

He's still just a little kid. What kind of kid? Hey, look, a kid like that could

get you pregnant. She comes from a really good family.

Oh, what do you think?

Listen, my dear lady, if it's a matter of pregnancy, we would pay any price you

ask. Yes. Any amount. I can see you're giving me a lot of bullshit, and I want

to make something crystal clear to you. He said we was going to get hitched, and

that's how it's going to go down. If I catch him tonight, I'll kick the

asshole's ass. Don't talk like that. I get guests in my home. I don't give a

doodly fuck for your guests. What I want to know is where the hell is Ramirez.

What's a Ramirez?

That's enough shit. What?

I want to know where the fuck Ramirez is before I have to kick your balls up

your ass. It's not mine.

What do I mean? We don't know what I mean. Are you saying Ramirez was never

at all? I think Benji phoned Ramirez to set up a meeting at

the bar. Yeah, the bar.

dance with her, show some romance.

I'm married.

This is your end.

What's the matter? I've done nothing wrong.

You've done nothing. What do you want from him? You keep out of this, you

you hear me?

Let go of me!

Who are you calling a cop?

It can't be.

Good God, get back.

Elvis Bradley?

What's this, Ramirez? You turned faggot or something? No, my chapati. It's a

camouflage drill that the captain ordered.

Better take cover before I smash you all into bits, you!

Come back here, Ramirez!

Wendy?

That you're an angel, heaven is in your eyes.

Driving, driving, strictly driving, driving, driving, strictly driving. A

sails a sea, an airman goes by air.

But what do simple soldiers get, does anybody care?

But when there's trouble around, they're issued with a gun.

Then bark through everything on the ground, the jovelet by the tongue.

What they get done And get up at the crack of dawn Soldiers life is fun

But do they ever complain You're right they damn well do When told they've

nothing to grouse about They say the same to you Oh keep it strictly private

about a dog in my...