Original subtitles

So many times I've had uh writers come

up to me at book events and book

signings.

I have a book that I want to write. I

just can't get started, you know. And

the reason they can't get started is

they're trying to figure out everything

that's going to be in this 140,000word

500page novel before sit down to write

it. And they're totally overwhelmed by

it. They just can't do it. And they're

their their fingers hover over the keys.

Their, you know, their hand is shaking

with a pen. So they never write the

first page. I always like to come up

with I call it the big pop. And the big

pop is how is the novel gonna open? you

know, because if you don't get that

right, it doesn't matter what else you

write after that because nobody's going

to bother to finish reading it. So, the

big pop is really important. So, I need

to understand intimately how that scene

is going to unfold and how it's going to

drive the rest of the story. Um, so it

could be that, you know, somebody dies,

somebody is killed, a plane crashes, you

know, um a government facility is

robbed, uh somebody escapes from a

prison. Uh, that's the big pop. And then

it's my job to take that big pop and

break it down, understand how I'm going

to construct that scene, how you will

construct that scene. There was a a book

I wrote called The Escape where this guy

that I needed to get out of that prison.

It's USDB, United States Disciplinary

Barracks at Levvenworth. It's escape

proof. Nobody's ever escaped from it.

You just can't escape from it. I My job

was in the opening chapters, I needed

him to escape from this prison. I've

been out there. I mean, I've see how

it's worked out. It's a military prison.

And for me, in my mind, there was only

way one way for this to happen, and that

was the big pop that I came up with. So

everything that I built around that

opening scene and my outline, I needed

to execute on. But all the different

elements I built in that scene, all of

that was threaded into the rest of the

novel. I got the big pop. It's almost

like a little self-enccapsized short

story. I'm going to sit down and I'm

going to write those first few chapters.

And then all of a sudden, you're over

that hump of, oh my god, how do I do

this? Because when you write those first

few chapters, all of a sudden you opened

up all these possibilities for all these

other plot threats. I've got this stuff

here. He's escaped from the prison. Who

helped him? Who didn't help him? Why did

he get out? What's he going to do now?

And all of a sudden there's all this

stuff you can write about. And the and

the problem of I don't know how to start

it goes away.

While I'm writing a novel, I constantly

go back to the first chapter. Sometimes

every time that I go back to the novel,

I could be in the middle or neither end

and I go back to that first chapter.

That's my touchstone. That should be a

writer's touchdown. That's how you

opened this compelling story to the

world. So, it's the most the first thing

that readers will see. In some ways,

it's the most impressionable they will

be because they're just getting

introduced to the work you're trying to

tell them, the story you're trying to

lay out for them. It's I can't think of

a more important chapter than the first

chapter. some ways is more important

than the last chapter of a book because

this is the only shot you have to get it

right for the first time. So I

constantly go back to that chapter one.

I want to have it pristine and perfect

in every way but also because I need to

make sure that every element in that

chapter is there for a reason because

all the threads coming out from their

first chapter permeate the rest of the

novel. So if I got something wrong here,

I've got something wrong here. That's

why I constantly go back to that. That's

like the mother ship. You know, if you

don't go back to the mother ship

constantly, then you don't know what the

rest of the fleet is really doing and

even it's actually going to make sense

at the end. So, that should be your

touchstone. It always is for me.

And my earlier books, my chapters are

really long. You know, I could have

chapters were 15, 20 pages long. Um, and

there's nothing wrong with that. I love

I love long chapters and I love

beautifully long constructed sentences.

Um, but there's lots of different ways

to tell a story. And the thriller genre

is such that there's this sense of

momentum and this sense of hurry up

because we got to get to something

monumental. The short chapters are like

punches, rapid punches in the face. Um,

it doesn't have to be all about action

and somebody getting killed or bombs

going off. It could just be conveying

information, but it's like that. It's

like that uh rapidity of motion where

people get into this rhythm of, okay,

you know, I understand this is really

rocking and rolling, and there's short

bursts of stuff. I've got to pay

attention. I'm on for this ride. I don't

have to drift through 15 or 20 pages of

stuff. Um, and you have to be really

disciplined in order to construct a

novel that way because again, this even

heightens the importance of each

chapter. Um, I can make a chapter that's

20 pages long and I can fudge along the

way. I've got so many words that I can

play around with. I can hide weaknesses.

I can dillydally. I can, you know, go

off on tangents of stuff. But when

you've got a chapter that's two, three,

four pages long, you have to hit your

mark with every word. There's no room to

fudge. There's no room for weaknesses.

You have to get there and get out.

when I'm going through and looking at

the pacing of a novel or story that I've

written, um, and I look within the

content of a chapter, let's say a sample

chapter,

I look at the diversity of how I'm I'm

telling a story depending on the tools

that I have. So if I have a chapter

that's could very well be all narrative,

all expository material where I'm moving

one person from A to B or it's an

interior monologue of Amos Decker so

he's thinking things through which he

does a lot or Will Broby as he's

planning a hit. There may be no dialogue

in that chapter at all. It might just be

all narrative plus an interior monologue

where you see his thought process. And

there's nothing wrong with that. It's

not like every chapter has to have

exposition, interior monologue, a

narrative drive, and dialogue. There's

no rule that says you you make the

rules. You're the writer, so you make

your own rules about how you want to

construct a chapter or a story. But I

will try to look at some semblance of

balance in there, too. If I've gotten if

I got three or four chapters in a row

that's all just narrative, it's all just

expository or one chapter that's all

interior monologue. I'm in this guy's

head the whole time, then I might be a

little bit out of out of balance. And

then I think about should I bring

another element in? Should I have at the

end of this, should I have a him have a

conversation with someone so some of the

dialogue can bleed through into that

scene so it's not just always being in

Decker's head in that entire chapter or

a chapter where it's all I'm just trying

to get a person from A to B. Well, in

the middle of that scene, maybe they

stop somewhere and they talk to

somebody. So, it just breaks it up.

Sometimes you look at a chapter visually

and it's just is it's all one element of

a storytelling and it could be a little

daunting and it might, you know, a

little bit of the energy for the reader,

not just the writer, but the reader goes

away and dissipates a little bit.

They're like, "Oh, this is got to slog

through this, you know. Um, I just had a

great dialogue scene this previous

chapter and now it's just blah. It's

there's no more dialogue." So, really,

you have to see what comes before and

see what comes after. I try to in each

chapter unless the story calls for me to

do another way blend in various elements

of storytelling to give it a little bit

of variety and diversity to break it up

uh not just for the story but also for

the sake of the reader.

So in the innocent there's a scene I

think it's chapter 14 uh which I outline

and then I'm going to read from the the

published pages um of that outline. So,

in the outline, I call it the bus scene.

And Will Roby is on this bus with a

14-year-old teenager, Julie Getty. And

there's another guy on the bus who Roby

in my outline, I had bullet points.

Julie Getty, pepper spray, hit man, bus

explodes. So, it was like five or six

bullet points that I had in my outline.

And this, what I'm going to read to you

is the result of the outline that I had.

Professional killers were a unique lot.

Roby thought this as the bus motored

along. The vehicle suspension was for

[ __ ] and the ride was too. They have to

endure 200 miles of this, but Roby was

not focused on that. He stared through

the gap in the seat, watching and

waiting. When you were on a mission, you

look for things that other people would

never focus on, like entry and exit

points. Always have at least two of

each. Gunight angles, positions from

which others can strike back at you,

sizing up opponents without seemingly to

do so. Trying to fair it out intent by

reading body cues alone. Never let

anyone notice you noticing him. Roby was

undertaking all of these tasks right now

and it was totally unconnected with his

plate. He had people after him clearly,

but just as clearly the girl had someone

after her. And Roby now knew that he was

not the only professional killer on

board this bus tonight. He was looking

right now at the second one. He slipped

the Glock from his pocket. The girl was

reading. Roby couldn't see what, but it

was a paperback. She was intent on this,

oblivious to all other things. That was

not good. Young people made easy targets

for predators. Young people were glued

to their phone screens, thumbs ramming

keys, firing off messages of importance

like Facebook status, the color of their

underwear that day, girl problems, hair

problems, sports stats, where the next

party was. They also always had earbuds

on. With the music roaring, they could

hear nothing until the lion struck. Then

it was too late. Easy prey, and they

didn't even know it. Roby lined up a

shot between the seat cap. The other man

leaned forward in his seat. They had

been traveling for only a few minutes.

They were passing through an even more

derelic part of the city. There was no

one sitting next to the girl in the

window seat. There was no one across the

aisle from her. The closest person to

her was an old woman who'd already

fallen asleep. Most in the buses settled

down to sleep, though they'd barely gone

half a mile yet. Roby knew how he would

do it. Head and neck. Pull right, pull

left. The same method the US Marines

teach. Because the target was a child.

No weapon would be required, no loss of

blood either. Most people died silently.

There was no melodramatic dying

sequence. Folks just stopped breathing.

Gurgle twitched and then went quietly.

People close by were clueless, but then

most people were clueless. The man

tensed. The girl shifted her book a bit,

letting the wash from the overhead light

hit the page more fully. Roby eased

forward. He checked his gun. The

suppressor can was spun on as tight as

it would go. But in the close confines

of the bus, there was no such thing as a

silenced weapon. He would worry about

explanations later. He had watched two

people tonight lose their lives, one

little boy. He did not intend to make it

three. The man set his weight on the

balls of his feet. He lifted his hands,

positioned them in a certain way. "Pull,

pull," thought Roby. Head left, neck

right, snap. Pull, pull. Dead girl. But

not tonight. So, in that scene, Roi is

not an assassin. He's a savior. Um, and

you'll see in a subsequent chapter that

uh Julie Getty, the young teenage girl,

was not nearly as oblivious as Roby

thought that she was. She actually when

the guy tried to kill her, this pull

pull is a marine way to kill somebody.

Top of the head, lower part of the head,

upper part of the neck, you pull in

different directions, snaps the neck

cleanly. Works pretty much every time,

particularly the person is not expecting

it. So Roby knows this is how the

hitman, the other guy on the bus, is

going to take Julie Getty out. and he's

going to stop the guy just by shooting

him down. And in that scene, it went

from the outline. So really the bullet

points I had were a bus later it's going

to explode. That was a foreshadow or

something that's going to happen later.

Second hitman on the bus, Julie Getty

oblivious, but not really. You will have

to find that out later as you keep

reading. And Roy's way to take this guy

out, but also Roy's instinct. This gives

you a look right into the man's head of

how he notices things that other people

don't notice. So, the six bullet points

that I had in my outline translated to

about two pages that I just read to you.

Some of the bullet points were dead on.

I included them in in um the section

that I just read. Others are one that I

was I was thinking about while I was

writing it. So, there's always going to

be more to it. There's not every bullet

point is going to be in there, but

there's also going to be always going to

be additional information that I did not

lifted in the in the outline. That's the

organic part of growing this. That's the

organic part of being in the middle of a

scene, the middle of a chapter. you're

always going to add something to it

because when you're in the moment,

things just fly. Your inspiration,

creativity is really rocking and rolling

and you're going to add some additional

things that's going to make it stronger.

You'll see that to be the case

when you write a screenplay. And I've

written screenplays before. Directors

will challenge you, you know, and the

producers will read this stuff and

they'll sit across from you and go, "Why

is that scene in there? Why is this

person driving the narrative? Why is

that person saying this? How are you

going to get out of that scene? What's

the second purpose why the scene is

anywhere? Because the scene is costing a

lot of money for us to shoot. So, there

can't just be one reason for the scene.

It's got to be more than that. What is

it? Ask yourself, why am I writing this

chapter 12 just because it follows

chapter 11 and it's the one before

chapter 13? Uh, is it a bridge to

something? Are you driving the plot

forward? Are you conveying information?

Are you deepening a character in some

way? Um, and I don't think those are the

only three you could have, but those are

three pretty important and critical and

ubiquitous purposes in a novel. So ask

yourself, what's the purpose and what is

it, you know, and how am I going to

convey that in the novel? And the the

section I just I read to you, I conveyed

a lot of information. I told you a lot

about Roy's observations and how he does

what he does. I told you about they were

on a bus going somewhere and now there's

a 14-year-old girl in the mix and you

have no idea how this is going to hook

up or play out with Roa, but you know

she's going to be somehow important in

that. So that's a lot that I that

happened in a page and a half in this

book. So always ask yourself what is the

reason I'm writing this chapter right

now in front of me? What is the purpose?

What am I trying to convey? If you can't

answer one of those three questions in a

positive way, convey information and

character development or moving the plot

forward, then don't write the chapter.