Original subtitles

♪♪ (MIXTURE OF MUSICAL STYLES)

♪♪ (MEN SINGING IN SPANISH)

(JET PLANE ROARING)

(MAN NARRATING IN FRENCH) It all started here. At takeoff.

No, this isn't a story about taking off.

Yeah, that's the real beginning.

My appointment with Jean-Charles Perrin.

It begins where it ends. Right here!

(MAN SPEAKING FRENCH) I have an appointment with Mr. Perrin.

(SPEAKING FRENCH) He's in building F.

On the 6th floor, room 6024.

(SOUND EFFECTS HIGH-PITCHED, SPED UP)

(SPEAKING FRENCH) Sir?

(FRENCH) I have an appointment...

with Mr. Jean-Charles Perrin.

Someone to see Mr. Perrin.

Bonjour.

I have an appointment with Mr. Perrin.

Follow me.

Ah.

Xavier!

(SPEAKING FRENCH) Hello, Mr. Perrin.

(FRENCH) Call me Jean-Charles. I'm so pleased!

Come in! This is where I work. My painting.

View of Paris.

Sacré coeur.

The Eiffel Tower. Jussieu.

I've known your father since--

we were at the ENA back when it was still in Paris--

I remember it's been--

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) My father understands these things.

(SPEAKING FRENCH) Go see him. What've you got to lose?

He's great. I've known him since--

(XAVIER) So, that's my dad.

He's right in your field.

You like double malts?

Know Donohugue? It's Scottish. A marvel!

It really started here, when he said:

All I know is...

with the new European directives, jobs will create themselves.

Get your MS in a subject that addresses Spanish economics...

and I can find you a job.

There's sure to be prospects.

But you have to speak Spanish and know the Spanish market well.

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Do you speak Spanish?

(SPANISH) A little.

(FRENCH) Been to Spain?

(FRENCH) I went to Ibiza once.

(XAVIER NARRATING) So I decided to go to Spain for a year.

(MAN ON RADIO)

As a kid I was blond and wanted to write.

I changed. We can change, can't we?

To make a long story short, let's say my mom's a hippie.

And hippies, alas, always tell the truth.

(SPEAKING FRENCH) No bulgar, no tofu! I can't make you anything!

You'd rather gorge on fast-food shit...

full of pesticides, toxins-- Well, be my guest! I won't stop you.

(XAVIER) First, I wasn't sure. On second thought,

I knew I had to get out of there.

España!

So I looked into the European exchange program.

It's called Erasmus. What an unspeakable mess!

(CHATTERING)

(WOMAN SPEAKING FRENCH) Just a moment, please.

(XAVIER) Wondering who Erasmus is?

(MODEM SQUEALING)

I didn't know either.

Frankly, I still don't.

I think he was some sort of Dutch traveler, circa 1500.

Just registering took me three months.

(SPEAKING FRENCH) That's next door.

Have you been next door?

I was just there.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(XAVIER SPEAKING FRENCH) I'd like an Erasmus file.

(FRENCH) And your registration form?

I just got it.

It's empty! I can't do anything with that!

They lost mine! I have to fill out another.

Right! You're all the same!

You always wait till the last minute!

I did! They lost my file! It's not my fault they lost it!

I'd just like to know what forms I need...

for the file, so it's complete.

Well, a postgraduate Erasmus file isn't complicated.

It's all listed on the small form.

You need the agreement of your adviser here,

the agreement of your adviser there,

agreements from your university there and here,

your student ID-- That's imperative!

- You're under SMEREP or M.N.E.F.? - M.N.E.F.

Then, go to the M.N.E.F. Office, building "D," ground floor...

and ask for form E111.

And don't go "pfft".

Without it, you can't be reimbursed for any medical expenses, okay?

So, fill out all those forms.

This needs a résumé, a letter of intent,

the title of your thesis, and all these things here!

All that!

(XAVIER) I don't know why the world became such a mess.

I don't know if it had to be this way.

Complicated, made like shit, out of whack.

Before there were fields, cows, chickens. It was much simpler.

They had a direct relationship with things.

They had animals, grew their own food,

made their clothes, built their home.

On the farm, life was simple for Martine.

Why did we ever leave Martine’s world?

(SPEAKING FRENCH) What a horror!

(FRENCH) What's a horror?

It's so sexist.

This putrefied vision of women.

Why do you say that?

Because she feeds the chickens and tends the cows?

No, but-- Obviously, that's your fantasy.

A nice little girl in a short skirt, rosy cheeks.

No, it's not!

To think my parents named me after her!

That really bums me out.

My mother used to read this.

I think that's sweet.

But, Martine,

it's not important.

Is it Martine that--

I’m sad that you're leaving.

I'm sad too.

(JET ENGINE REVVING)

(ALARM RINGING)

What is it?

(WOMAN ON P.A., IN FRENCH) Air France flight 6237 to Barcelona--

Shit!

Come on, Martine!

She's really sad.

I'm sad too, you know.

Are you sure this is a good idea?

Are you kidding, mom?

Is this your father's idea?

No! I decided to go.

I take off in five minutes. Let's not get into this!

I'm sad too. Go figure! Everyone's sad.

You wouldn't know it!

(WOMAN ON P.A.) Your attention, please.

All passengers on air France flight 6237 to Barcelona...

are asked to proceed immediately to gate c.

Don't cry. We'll see each other soon.

Don't cry, Martine.

Don't worry. It'll be okay.

You sure about this?

Shut up, mom!

(PLANE TAKING OFF)

(CHATTERING)

(SPEAKING FRENCH) There you go, madam.

A beverage?

(REPEATS IN SPANISH)

Erasmus?

Ouais.

(SPEAKING FRENCH) What're you studying?

(FRENCH) Economics.

Serious! Stocks, all that?

Sort of, yeah.

Been to Barcelona before?

No, I just landed.

You're gonna have a blast!

Ouais?

Ouais.

You'll see. Awesome!

Bye.

You have the key, right?

(XAVIER NARRATING) He was just like the jerks I always try to avoid.

Why was he so desperate to talk to me?

This is a seriously wild city.

No one eats before 10:00 p.m.

Not even the cats. Honest to God.

Then, party time! These are some real party animals.

Have you heard of barres de copas?

Non.

My lips are sealed. You'll see!

Plus, Erasmus is pretty intense. You won't sleep much!

What are you doing here?

I'm working at the del mar hospital. I'm a neurologist.

And you?

We got married 15 days ago. She's not sure yet.

Maybe a Spanish class, to start.

You don't speak any Spanish?

No. And you-- Do you speak Spanish?

¿Hablas español?

(FRENCH) A little. I'm going to grad school at the University of Barcelona.

(XAVIER) When you first arrive in a city...

nothing makes sense. Everything's unknown, virgin.

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Excuse me, please.

Carrer des Ecudellers Street?

(SPANISH) I beg your pardon?

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Hang a right at the corner, then go straight.

That way?

Yes, that way.

Okay, thanks.

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) After you've lived here, walked these streets,

you'll know them inside out, you'll know these people.

Once you've lived here,

crossed this street 10, 20, 1000 times--

10, 20, 1000 times.

(XAVIER, IN SPANISH) Urquinaona. Passeig de Gracia. Laietana.

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) It'll belong to you because you've lived there.

That was about to happen to me, but I didn't know it yet.

Urquinaona, which sounded like Sioux, was added to the list...

of once bizarre-sounding names tucked into my brain.

Urquinaona slipped in next to Honolulu, Punxsutawney,

Piccadilly, Massachusetts,

Saskatoon, Machu Picchu.

It became normal and familiar.

Later-- much later-- back in Paris,

each harrowing ordeal will become an adventure.

For some idiotic reason, your most horrific experiences...

are the stories you most love to tell.

(WOMAN SHOUTING IN SPANISH)

(WOMAN SPEAKING SPANISH) The buzzer doesn't work!

(SPANISH) What?

(SPANISH) It doesn't work.

Who are you looking for?

(SPANISH) A girl named...

Sonia Miralpeix.

(SPANISH) Oh, yes.

Señor Miralpeix!

Hello!

I'm Xavier. Can you-- the door?

(SPANISH) Just a moment. I'll let you in.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) My only place to crash in Barcelona...

was through a friend of my mother's.

(SPANISH) More coffee?

(SPANISH) No, thank you.

Was your flight late?

No.

(XAVIER NARRATING) This Chilean guy has a niece in Barcelona...

who I could stay with till I found a place.

Sí.

But I couldn't stay long because she lives...

with her grandfather, and it was complicated...

for me to stay too long.

It was complicated before I arrived.

I was trapped in one of my mother's schemes!

Never again! Stay out of her harebrained schemes!

Sí.

Thanks, mom!

Never, ever again! Stay out of her fucking schemes!

(FRENCH) Hello? Jean-Michel?

It's Xavier. We met at the airport. Okay!

(MAN REPEATING)

(MIMICKING XAVIER)

No, no, no. Yes, yes.

Remember me? We met at the airport.

Yeah, okay!

Listen, I feel really stupid.

It's okay. Stop!

I feel really stupid calling you.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

I'm really up shit creek. Hold on. Let me go!

It's just some guys.

Since you mentioned I could--

Well-- Okay, that's really--

That's really-- That's really nice.

Yeah, because now--

(FRENCH) Somebody died, so she left for Chile...

and forgot to tell me things fell through.

Listen, it's no problem, like I said.

It's the same for us. We just turned up.

Make yourself at home. I know what it's like!

We French have to help each other.

You can sleep on the couch.

Anne-so can fix you a snack.

Yeah.

Are you hungry?

Yeah.

I don't have much to offer. I can make you...

some rice or some pasta...

with-- We don't even have any butter-- With oil, maybe?

Great. Pasta with olive oil. That's simple. Hop to it!

Hop to it!

(CHINA CLATTERING)

Sorry, we tried not to wake you, but--

Yeah, yeah, no, no. No problem.

Want some coffee?

Why not?

It seems architectonic, but in fact...

the way the brain works is quite simple.

You have the cerebral cortex...

like that, with two hemispheres...

With the memory...

situated in the hippocampus...

inside the temporal lobe.

I summarize, because memory--

My specialty is all that's linked...

between this region of the brain, which is...

more or less everything concerning memory...

and this region, which manages language.

(JEAN-MICHEL) We've seen some extraordinary pathologies!

For example, the effects of amnesia on a bilingual person.

Yeah?

An unconscious trauma may allow him to...

retain his mother tongue, but the second language-- gone!

Hard disk erased!

(XAVIER) What a system!

(SPEAKING SPANISH) I saw your ad...

in the paper.

Yeah, for the apartment.

Sí.

I'd like... "to share"-- "share"-- (USING FRENCH FOR "SHARE")

(SPANISH) To share, man.

(REPEATS IN SPANISH)

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) Finding an apartment in Barcelona was another story!

(CHATTERING)

Hello!

(WOMAN SPEAKING SPANISH) What do you think? 50,000 a month. How's that?

That's about 1,000 euros.

50,000. Yes or no?

Yes or no?

(SPANISH) Yeah, that's good.

You're sure? 50,000 on the first!

I'll see.

cause we're thinking of selling.

The first of the month.

Okay.

(SPEAKING FRENCH) Off to a running start! I have to go.

Can I ask you a favor, Xav?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No problem.

To go out with Anne-so?

She's afraid to go alone.

You speak a little Spanish--

No, no, yeah, yeah.

No problem. I--

(FRENCH) I saw you crying on the plane.

(FRENCH) You did?

You looked so sad. It made me sad too.

You think you're so happy to leave, that you're strong--

Then the plane takes off and--

It's not easy to just leave like that...

Off into the unknown.

Yeah.

It's a weird mix.

It's the same for me.

I'm so happy with Jean-Michel.

I really wanted to come, to forge a life together.

But at the same time...

it scares me to change my life,

learn a new language.

Like I’m about to climb a huge mountain.

(XAVIER NARRATING) I wrote to Martine regularly.

I told her things I’d never have said...

if she were here with me.

I've always been reserved.

But the distance between us compelled me to speak.

In the end it brought us closer.

(VOICES OF MARTINE, XAVIER, OVERLAPPING)

(XAVIER NARRATING) Landing an apartment share sometimes requires an exam.

(WOMAN SPEAKING ENGLISH) We're really sorry. This isn't a trial.

We didn't know so many people would answer the ad.

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) Yes, so we've decided to see everyone...

and then decide all together.

Yeah.

Because, you know, we want life to be cool together.

We want good vibes between people, you know?

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) Sure. Cool. I understand. No problem.

(ENGLISH) Yes. I don't know, but maybe it's going to be difficult with you,

cause you are French and we are already from very different countries.

You know, I’m Italian, Tobias is German,

Lars is Danish, Wendy’s English and, uh, Soledad is español.

She is the only one from here. From?

Tarragona.

Tarragona, yeah.

But what's the problem? We never said the nationality would be a problem.

Yeah, of course, but it's obvious that if the person is Italian or Spanish,

it will be easier for everybody here.

(SCOFFING)

If the person is Italian, it's not easier for me.

(LARS) I speak French.

(FRENCH) I lived in Paris.

(ENGLISH) Let's keep good vibes. Okay, Alessandro?

Good vibes.

Yes. You see, the rent is not so cheap,

so we have to be a lot, so it becomes much more cheaper.

Um, but we have to organize things...

so it becomes possible for everybody.

You see?

Yes, yes.

Okay, now I have some questions, Xavier.

What are you studying?

- Economy. - Ah, economy, hmm?

And what do you expect your life to be...

in about five years?

(LAUGHING)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Why?

That's a ridiculous question. You can't ask--

Why?

We have to make--

I don't know what I’m gonna be doing in five years.

This is a very normal question, ja? I have a list of questions,

and anybody don't like my question, or want to ask another question, then go.

No, seriously. We have to like him or not.

(WENDY) What does it matter?

(SPEAKING FRENCH) It's not usually like this. He's a nice guy.

What's the matter with cool questions? This is psychological, see?

Oh, he is perfect. Don't worry. Come on. Read.

Yeah.

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) I loved this place!

I'd have given anything to be accepted.

It was like I’d always lived in this mess.

Their bickering was like the constant drone...

in my head since childhood.

Do you like... music?

And do you like riding horses?

(SOLEDAD LAUGHS)

Which kind of music?

Classes started and I was still homeless.

(FRENCH) Bye, Anne-Sophie.

(FOOTSTEPS)

(DOOR CLOSING)

(SPEAKING FRENCH) I don't understand a word of Catalan! Do you?

It's impossible! We've got to ask him.

To speak in Castilian! Who'll do it?

(SPEAKING CATALAN) Are you in the French class?

(REPEATS IN SPANISH)

(FRENCH) What a fucking mess!

Who?

You!

(MAN SPEAKING CATALAN) Good day.

Let's discuss the future of global capitalism.

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Excuse me, sir.

Yes?

- Could you speak in Castilian? - Sí.

(SPEAKING SPANISH) That's impossible. Most of my students are Catalan.

Why should they switch languages?

We 15 Erasmus students don't speak Catalan,

yet we all speak Spanish.

I understand your position perfectly, miss.

But understand mine as well.

We're in Catalonia. Catalan is the official language.

For Spanish, go to Madrid or South America!

(LAUGHING)

(GROANING)

(CATALAN) Now, let's move on...

to the future of global capitalism.

What can be said of global capitalism?

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) I really like that girl. She's so not the "econ" type!

What's she doing here?

I wondered. In fact, what was I doing there?

There was one unifying currency: gold!

(CATALAN) I speak Catalan because I am Catalan. I live here.

(SPANISH) It's contradictory to defend Catalan...

at the very moment we're creating a European union.

(SPEAKING SPANISH) I don't agree. First of all, because...

we're discussing identity.

There's not one single valid identity,

but many varied, perfectly compatible identities.

It's a question of respect.

For example, I have at least two identities--

My Gambian identity, which I carry internally,

and my Catalan identity.

It's not contradictory to combine identities.

(SPANISH) You're French, you're not Martian.

You're French, and you cherish...

your French identity.

See what I mean? "Identity." You identify...

with astérix, Françoise Hardy,

cheese.

I give you my pan tumaca.

What?

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) Bread? Bread and tomato?

Ah!

(SPEAKING FRENCH) Joan Manuel Serrat, the singer.

(SPANISH) I give you my--

my Dali!

(SPANISH) Spain isn't just "olé!"

it's not just flamenco. It's lots of things.

And Catalan’s one of them.

(SPEAKING FRENCH) What a drag, to be torn between two languages.

(FRENCH) But Belgium has Flemish and--

(PHONE RINGING)

Walloon? It's not the same.

I'm Walloon, I don't speak Flemish.

When I go to Flanders, I say I’m French. So they speak French.

Good, good. Super!

Yeah, that's great!

If they realize I’m Walloon--

Tomorrow?

So. Okay.

No problem!

(FRENCH) How great! I got an apartment!

Cool!

Yeah. Really.

So!

I have a crummy room with my boss's family.

What do you do?

I'm a babysitter.

Oh, that's great!

"Oh, that's great!"

For you!

Yeah! For me!

♪♪ (IMITATING ROCK GUITAR)

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

♪♪ (HUMMING)

(MARTINE) I'm sad you're leaving.

(CHILD'S VOICE) I want to write books.

♪ A heart that's ♪

♪ Full up like a landfill ♪♪

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) Hello, Wendy.

Hello!

Hola.

Hola.

(SPANISH) How's it going?

(SPANISH) Okay.

What's that?

Babylon.

"The Spanish apartment"

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) That house was a literal "Spanish apartment."

Wait, it's like--

"Like reading," as Maurois said,

"you get out of it exactly what you put in."

It's hard to explain how it worked.

To give you the gist...

Allô.

I'll start with the phone to illustrate--

No, no! Let's take the fridge!

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) Why did you put your glasses in the fridge, Alessandro?

(ENGLISH) I didn't put them here. I forgot them here.

I remember that yesterday when I went to bed,

before I take some cheese in the fridge,

and when I take the cheese back into the fridge,

I, uh, put my glasses.

Mm-hmm!

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

- Alessandro, your feet. - (INDISTINCT)

- Soledad, that's my shelf. - Oh. Yeah. Sorry, but the bottle, it's too big--

Yes, I see. But can you put it like, laying it down?

(WENDY) Hola.

(SOLEDAD) Por favor, Tobias.

- (WENDY) Does anybody want some tea? No? No? - (SPANISH) No, thanks.

- Yes. Me. - Oui?

(REFRIGERATOR DOOR CLOSES)

(CHATTERING)

(FRENCH) No. No.

You'll be here soon.

Yeah.

No.

Come on! No, but-- I can't really talk now.

No. I'm not alone. That's why.

(SPANISH) We just went out yesterday. I'm broke!

No.

(FRENCH) Not at all. It's just that--

Mais non.

Not one person, there are five people here.

Let's not argue. This is ridiculous.

You'll be here soon. I can't wait.

Yes. Me too. Of course!

I love you too.

I love you too.

We'll talk again soon. Kisses.

(FRENCH) I love you, my love.

(LAUGHING)

(SPEAKING FRENCH) I adore you, my love.

(ROOMMATES GIGGLING, LAUGHING)

(PHONE RINGING)

(DOOR OPENING)

(RINGING CONTINUES)

(BARE FEET STEPPING)

(RINGS)

¿Hola?

(SPANISH) Hold on.

(SPEAKING BAD FRENCH) Xavier eez not here. He will retoorn this ee-ven-ning.

Okay? Yeah. Uh--

(INDISTINCT)

(REPEATING BAD FRENCH) Xavier eez not here.

He will retoorn this ee-ven-ning.

- (FAINT, INDISTINCT) - (SPEAKING ENGLISH) Uh, I’m sorry.

I-I don't understand French.

(VOICE CONTINUES)

(FRENCH) Mom?

(ENGLISH) Okay. I will tell him.

(INDISTINCT)

Xavier has gone to school.

Oh, oui!

Okay? What?

(INDISTINCT)

La fac.

La "fuck"?

Yes. After "fuck," he can telephone maman.

(WENDY GASPS)

Wendy. Relax. Huh?

(TRAFFIC HUMMING)

Whoa!

(SPEAKING FRENCH) It's beautiful, huh?

(HAMMER CHISELING STONE, JACKHAMMER BANGING)

(ANNE-SOPHIE BREATHING ERRATICALLY)

Anne-Sophie!

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

(FRENCH) Are you okay?

(ENGLISH) Maybe she needs to eat somethin'.

(SPEAKING FRENCH) How'd it go this afternoon?

Very well.

- Where'd you guys meet? - In Dinard.

In a pizzeria.

The owner was this overly animated Italian.

"Today I recommend...

"the prosciutto and melon.

Veddy good. Buonissimo."

He always said that?

For two weeks, every single day.

Oh, every day?

I was working next door and Anne-Sophie--

Go on, you tell him.

Go on! Tell him, Anne-so.

Why'd you go there every day?

Non.

Don't be so shy. Just dive in! Tell him!

No, I’m embarrassed.

Oh, what a fuss! What's so embarrassing?

I don't know. It's just that it's private.

I don't feel like telling--

Go on!

No, wait.

I mean, it's no big deal. If she doesn't want to--

(JEAN-MICHEL) Go on! Tell the damned thing!

He's right. It's no big deal.

Get out of that shell, sweetie!

Well--

Well, the first time I-- I saw Jean-Michel,

at first glance, I knew I was in love.

Just like that. Instantly.

Crazy about me!

I thought, "A little thin,

but that's my husband."

Love at first sight. The real thing!

You're impossible!

(PHONE RINGING)

Oh, shit! Again!

(RINGING CONTINUES)

(FOOTSTEPS)

(PICKS UP RECEIVER)

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Yes? Can I call you back at 8:00? Right!

(SPEAKS ANGRILY IN FRENCH)

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) Why do you always have to smoke joints in my room?

(ENGLISH) Because it's comfortable.

And it's the only clean place in the apartment.

(GIGGLING)

Take it easy, Wendy. (LAUGHING)

(DOORBELL RINGING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Um--

(RINGING CONTINUES)

(CLANGING)

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Hello.

(SPANISH) Hello, Mr. Cucurull.

I'm showing the apartment.

Why?

I'm not speaking to you.

Bikes in the entryway!

It has to be repainted!

Come in.

My God, grandma's furniture!

The living room.

And the holy virgin?

There was a virgin there! Where is she?

The Madonna is elsewhere.

What a shit-hole!

(ENGLISH) Give me that. He's gonna come in here.

(MUTTERING)

(WHISPERING)

God! Um, uh--

(SPANISH) Just a moment.

(ENGLISH) Hang on. One second. Um, I’m naked!

Desnuda.

(SPANISH) I'm naked!

(SOLEDAD WHISPERING)

(WENDY SPEAKS SPANISH)

(SPANISH) I want you out by March 1!

(SPANISH) But--

I’m sorry. Let me see you to the door.

(MR. CUCURULL) It's been a pleasure.

(XAVIER) Can you give me one reason?

No.

I don't want any more students.

Why not?

Look at this place!

(ENGLISH) I told you.

(SPANISH) Why is it always me?

(ALESSANDRO, IN SPANISH) I hadn't finished the dishes.

Lars and Soledad were still eating.

So I went to watch TV. When I came back, you'd done them!

(SPANISH) I was gonna do them, but you're a maniac!

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

I won't live in a pigsty. So I’m a maniac!

(XAVIER SPEAKING SPANISH) We're young, okay, but we're responsible.

(MR. CUCURULL) Well, you seem serious to me.

From now on, I’m dealing with you.

And the rent is now 180,000 pesetas.

(SPANISH) 180,000 pesetas?

Yes.

180,000 pesetas?

Yes!

(SPANISH) We need another roommate.

I know someone really nice in my economics class.

Who's that?

A girl. Very serious.

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) She's come from Belgium.

(ENGLISH) That means somebody has to share a room.

(ENGLISH) Maybe it could be you two.

Xavier,

what does it mean when you say, "la fuck"?

"La fuck"?

Yeah.

No, I guess it's "la fac." It means, uh, university.

It's the same word of "faculty," but shorter.

Are you kidding? You say "la fuck" to say university?

Yes.

You say, Je vais la fuck?

(FRENCH) I'm going to the university.

Don't worry. I don't have a dog.

(LAUGHING)

Any other questions?

- No. - No. - (TOBIAS) Thank you.

(FRENCH) I speak French.

Really?

I lived in Paris last year.

Great!

(ENGLISH) Thank you.

Thank you, bye.

(FRENCH) I'll call you.

(DOOR CLOSING)

(ENGLISH) Isn't she great?

Yeah.

No. She's not great. She's okay.

What?

I liked her.

(SPANISH) We could do better.

(SPANISH) You don't like her?

Yeah, but we could do better.

(ENGLISH) I'm going to "fuck."

Have a nice time.

What?

Adios.

(SPEAKING FRENCH) We have all the same stuff!

You have Ali Farka Touré!

You too?

♪♪ (ALI FARKA TOURÉ)

♪♪ (BLUES)

What are you doing tomorrow?

My girlfriend Sabine’s coming from Belgium.

Ah, super.

♪♪ (MAN SINGING)

Sabine?

Xavier?

(FRENCH) Hi.

Hi.

Here we are!

(FRENCH) I miss you so much.

So, I’m at the beach! I still miss you!

Tomorrow we're going to Sitges. That's another beach.

This one's in Barcelona.

Sitges is another beach.

It must be different. It's another beach.

With that French couple.

You know, the ones who put me up.

Not exactly "cool," but really nice.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(FRENCH) That was quick.

Yup!

See you later!

Bye.

(SPANISH) Greetings all!

- (WENDY) So you went to Parc Güell? - Yes.

(ENGLISH) Did you like it?

Yes, I loved the place.

But there are too many people. Too many--

(DOOR SLAMS)

(FRENCH) You wanna--

(ENGLISH) Uh, I’ll be back.

(FOOTSTEPS)

(FRENCH) You slept in the same bed?

Yeah.

This one here?

Yeah.

(CHUCKLES)

What? She's my girlfriend.

Did you "fool around"?

Yeah. She's my girlfriend!

My woman, whatever. I'm a lesbian.

Oh, yeah.

So when's yours coming?

Mine? She's coming soon.

She's got stuff to wrap up. She's a mess, in every sense.

Yeah, well, good luck.

Chicks are wacko, I swear!

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) Gay?

(ENGLISH) Yes.

But--

Well, she could have told us when we all spoke to her.

But come on, Wendy. She didn't have to say it.

How was she supposed to say it, anyway?

"I don't have a dog, but I’m gay"?

No. Yeah, you're right.

After all, it's none of our business.

But it's true that, uh--

What? Does it upset you?

No.

But you're disappointed.

No.

Jealous?

(CHUCKLING) No! I'm just like you.

It's funny to imagine her with girls.

Oh, come on!

No?

No!

Ahh!

Olé!

(FRENCH) I'm so hungry!

(XAVIER SPEAKING SPANISH) I hope it's good. I changed my recipe.

What is it?

A potato gratin.

(SPANISH) It's like a tortilla but--

(ENGLISH) I like tortilla!

(SPANISH) It's not a tortilla. It has no eggs.

(SPANISH) Can't make a tortilla without breaking some balls-- uh, eggs.

(POWER RELAYS CLICKING, ROOMMATES MOANING)

(LARS) Oh, no. Not again!

(TOBIAS) Is it the whole neighborhood or just our house?

(ALESSANDRO HOWLING)

(XAVIER) It seems like it's just here.

(WENDY) Alessandro, you're not funny.

(SOLEDAD SPEAKING SPANISH) Careful!

That's my foot!

(SOLEDAD) I'm here, darling.

(EVERYONE SPEAKING IN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES)

(ENGLISH) Right. I'll do it. Wendy does bloody everything in this house.

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(ENGLISH) We have to check the--

(FRENCH) The meter.

(ENGLISH) The fuse box.

(SPANISH) The fuses?

Ooh.

(CAT YOWLING)

(WHIMPERING)

(WENDY) Fuck.

(SOLEDAD SPEAKING SPANISH)

(WENDY, DISTANT) Hello? Where are you?

(WENDY, WHIMPERING) Where am I?

(LARS) We're coming!

(THUD)

(WENDY) Ow!

Blast!

(ENGLISH) Oh, did I hurt you?

(ENGLISH) No. No, it's okay.

No, what--

Sorry. No. Don't. Please.

It's fine. Honestly.

She's afraid of the dark.

Yeah. That's right. Uh, freaks me out.

I'm fine. (CHUCKLING)

Hi!

(FRENCH) How are you?

It's that way.

(MAN ON P.A. SPEAKING ENGLISH) Please proceed to gate number 24.

(MAN ON P.A. SPEAKING FRENCH)

(ALL LAUGHING)

I'll give you the address. It's-- (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(ENGLISH) Okay, merc-- uh, thank you.

You're welcome.

That's very nice.

(MUTTERS)

(ENGLISH) Well, I’m going to take a nap.

(SOFT GIGGLING)

Oh! Ah! Oh, la la!

(CHUCKLING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(SPEAKING FRENCH) Stay with them if you like.

No, no.

Isn't that English girl goofy?

Not at all. She's cool.

She seems super uptight.

Does she have a boyfriend?

Yes.

She's not uptight at all.

They certainly pawned off the scuzziest room on you.

It's not scuzzy.

Anyway, we're exchanging in two months.

Are you trying to be a pain?

No, you just made it sound so blissful, but this--

Well, your room, it's gloomy.

Look at the wallpaper!

(WHISPERING IN FRENCH) I'm sorry. I can't, like this.

It's no big deal.

It's like we're strangers.

I understand. It's no big deal.

(ROOMMATES LAUGHING)

With the others right next door.

It's a major drag!

Are you mad?

No, I told you, I understand.

It's no big deal.

But we have so little time together.

The pressure to "make it perfect."

It's stupid, but it's still a drag.

Stop. Really, it's no big deal.

(XAVIER NARRATING) I felt like we spent more time saying good-bye than being together.

(FRENCH) Love's a bitch!

It's so hard!

(FRENCH) Yeah.

And yet I love her. But this!

It's the same for me.

Sabine left staring daggers at me.

Well, it's true that--

That what?

I was stupid to say I got hit on!

Oh, yeah? By who? A guy?

Of course not!

By my flamenco instructor.

♪♪ (FLAMENCO GUITAR)

(FEET STAMPING FLAMENCO RHYTHM)

We were in class, just the two of us.

Then...

she did a demo for me. She was...

too gorgeous!

A shiver ran up my spine. She was so intense!

♪♪ (CONTINUES)

♪♪ (MAN VOCALIZING)

(STAMPING CONTINUES)

♪♪ (VOCALIZING CONTINUES)

(FEET STAMPING)

She moved toward me... closer and closer.

And--

(WOMAN SPEAKING SPANISH) More fluid.

(FRENCH) She was super hard! She slapped my ass.

(SPANISH) Take your time.

Move your hip.

And with the arm, a gesture.

She pressed against me,

turned me toward her.

I couldn't move. I was... frozen.

She completely dominated me.

And then?

Well, it was good.

She kissed me.

Wow.

Fuck!

And you told that to-- To Sabine?

No, not like that!

Yeah?

No.

(SIGHS)

(SPEAKING SPANISH) You work too hard. Want a drink?

(SPEAKING SPANISH) No, thanks.

Come on. It's on me!

You spend the whole day nursing one beer.

Let me buy you a chupito.

Sorry?

Where're you from?

France.

From France?

Francia.

Erasmus?

Yeah!

Been in Barcelona long?

Two month.

Two months.

Yeah! Fuck! Two months.

Exactly. You spend too much time at school.

Come here more often!

This is where you'll learn about Barcelona!

Juan!

Leave the poor guy alone.

Such foolishness!

Hold on. I'm teaching him Spanish.

- What's your name? - Xavier.

Xavier, you know what a "Frenchie" is?

Juan!

No, what?

A "Frenchie"?

(CHUCKLES)

Come back. I'll teach you puta madre Spanish.

In two months!

Puta madre?

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) I was fluent in "puta madre" Spanish in no time.

I immediately became a regular!

♪♪ (POP)

♪♪ (MAN SINGING IN SPANISH ON SPEAKERS)

(SPANISH) My man, Xavier! How's it hangin'?

What's going on?

A little party.

Anne-Sophie, Juan. Juan, Anne-Sophie.

(SPANISH) Hi!

(FRENCH) Hello.

Hi, Xavier!

Hi, Neus! What's up?

(SPANISH) Xavier never said you were so stunning!

The bastard kept you under wraps!

(FRENCH) What did he say?

He said--

He welcomed you to his café.

(SPANISH) Exactly!

Bastard!

Let's dance. Come on!

♪♪ (CONTINUES)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(RINGING CONTINUES)

♪♪ (CONTINUES)

(XAVIER SPEAKING SPANISH) Hello, my love!

(SPEAKING FRENCH) You said you'd come! Fuck!

(FRENCH) No, wait.

I don't have the money. I'm sorry. I'm broke.

I was broke too! But I managed to come.

You don't give a damn!

I do give a damn but--

No, you don't! You make promises, blow them off.

And for my birthday! It's disgusting!

Where are you? At the beach?

♪♪ (CONTINUES)

I'm in Barcelona, in the street.

Yeah, there's music.

There's music everywhere. Stop!

(CELL PHONE BEEPS OFF)

(SPEAKING FRENCH) What an awful smell!

(FRENCH) Barcelona's such a dirty city.

(FRENCH) No more so than Paris.

Yes it is.

So many corners seem so "third world."

I know just as many in Paris, but...

You wouldn't know them!

Do you find me repressed?

No.

Yes, you do. I can imagine what you think.

"The poor thing's so repressed."

That's not true.

Old-fashioned?

A little, yeah, sure.

You're not too "chiquita banana."

And what's that?

You're not too hip, you know that.

Yes, I know that.

Does that bother you?

No.

Well, it bothers me.

I'm not an idiot, you know.

You, you're at ease, everywhere, all the time.

You learn Spanish in a few months...

You're friendly with everyone.

I can't do that.

I don't have your education.

I'm not so casual.

I know you've got to be "cool" here.

I'm not cool. "Hip," as you say.

Come on. That doesn't matter.

But saying Barcelona’s dirty...

isn't unhip, it's racist!

That's racist?

Yes.

Well, I’m sorry.

I didn't mean to offend you.

That's not the issue. You've been here six months!

Open your eyes and look around!

I look around, Xavier.

(ANNE-SOPHIE) You're atrocious to me!

(THINKING) "The value of stock options increases in proportion to the decline of--"

(ISABELLE'S VOICE) She kissed me.

(MOANING)

(THINKING) "The value of stock options--"

(THINKING CONTINUES)

"The value of stock options--"

(BEEPING)

Xavier.

(FRENCH) Hello, Anne-Sophie. It's Xavier.

Ouais.

(FRENCH) Today?

Uh--

Yes, of course.

Of course.

Okay.

See you later.

(RUMBLES)

(FRENCH) Excuse me.

(XAVIER) Beautiful, huh?

(ANNE-SOPHIE) Ouais.

(XAVIER) Are you afraid?

(ANNE-SOPHIE) A little, yeah.

It's stupid, I always get dizzy.

Too bad Jean-Michel can't see this.

Yeah.

The poor thing works so hard.

Exactly. Doesn't it bother you...

that he leaves you alone...

after you've come here to be with him?

Yes.

I mean, I complain about it all the time.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(XAVIER SPEAKING FRENCH) Did Suzana leave?

Just for some smokes.

Ah.

(FRENCH) What?

No, no, no.

Go on. What?

Uh--

Go on!

Well, it's really stupid, but...

I've always wondered.

Do you ever use, like, dildos with girls?

It's funny. Guys understand nothing about women.

It's ridiculous. Each sex off in their own dark corner.

While if a guy took an interest in women,

he'd be a pig in shit.

What do you mean?

You just don't get it!

Their psychological makeup,

their bodies, what gives them pleasure.

Why do you say that?

You think it's all in the cock!

Caresses are really important.

I know.

Yeah, but you certainly don't do it well.

Here, look.

Come on! Come here!

Bon.

What?

When you caress a girl's ass,

you caress her here.

Here. On the ass.

No, but wait.

You part her thighs.

I'm embarrassed.

No, I’ll show you.

Hold her firmly against you.

Keep her from moving.

She's got to feel your grip!

Contrary to what they say,

most women want that grip, to be your prisoner.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

No, wait! Stop! What are you doing?

Relax! I'm just explaining. Shall I continue?

Yeah, okay. Go on.

So you press her body against yours.

You caress her hair, the nape of her neck,

her breasts-- She'll be like you.

She'll panic. You calm her.

You take your time.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Bon.

Ouais.

Now a lesson in "giving pleasure"!

Suzana.

Sí.

(SPANISH) Come here.

I want to show Xavier something.

(FRENCH) All men should learn this!

(FRENCH) Hello!

I'm so happy to see you.

(FRENCH) Me too.

It's funny, meeting up here.

Remember, our first walk was up here?

Oui.

What are you doing?

I can't-- I want you too much.

Non. Non, Xavier.

What's the point?

There is no point.

No. But I’m married. I'm married!

Non. Non.

(WHISPERING IN FRENCH)

No!

(FRENCH) Fuck, it was too good! Like in the movies, I swear!

First she was like, "No, no."

Then it was, "Yes, yes, yes!"

I didn't know that was possible.

I told you, they're all sluts.

You're right. It's incredible! Next time I’ll grab her...

and say, "Here! Suck, you big slut."

Stop! Don't talk like that.

(CHATTERING)

Non.

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) We eventually got organized.

Look.

Wendy did most of the work.

- Look. - What?

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) What do you mean, "What"? Look.

Okay, I’m not cleaning this. All right?

I'm sick to death of being everyone's bloody maid.

Maybe you guys can live like this, but I can't.

I-- I took a bath after you.

A-actually, it--

(CHUCKLES)

It might be my hair.

Why are you laughing?

Why are you laughing? This is not funny.

Clean it.

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) Once in a while we helped.

Even the fridge worked itself out.

Scheiße.

Alessandro.

(SPANISH) Alessandro left.

(WENDY SPEAKING SPANISH) Listen, guys.

(ENGLISH) My brother's coming to Barcelona,

and I want you to answer me honestly, okay?

Is it all right if he stays here for one or two weeks?

(SPANISH) No problem.

Yeah? Great. Thanks.

(ENGLISH) So I’m on the train, and I tell him the whole story.

I'm traveling Europe, uh, visiting my sister, Wendy-- blah, blah, blah.

You know, boring. And, uh, this guy says something to me in Spanish...

which I didn't understand a word of.

He said, uh, uh--

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Something like that. And I didn't understand it. So I said to him, uh--

You know, just trying to be funny and have a chat-- I said, uh,

"Olé, muchacho. Caramba." You know.

Actually, he didn't understand. He didn't take it very well.

(WENDY CHUCKLING)

In fact-- In fact, he took it really bad.

(WENDY CHUCKLES)

You know, it's like, French people, they go-- (MUMBLES WITH FRENCH ACCENT)

You know, you know. And, uh, Spanish people, they go--

(MUMBLES WITH SPANISH ACCENT)

That was a bit French then, but anyway.

So-- and he said to me-- What was it he said? He said, uh--

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

We don't say caramba here in Spain. No.

Oh.

Um,

Spanish people, they seem to be, uh-- seem to be very proud, don't they?

(ENGLISH) Did you meet a lot of Spanish people so far?

No. No, I didn't. Just that guy on the train. Uh, and you.

So how can you generalize about Spanish people?

Well, uh, no. No, I’m not. Um, but you know what I’m saying, don't ya?

Sure.

(SPANISH) I just love your monologues! Olé!

(ENGLISH) What did she just say?

It's okay. It doesn't matter.

It wasn't anything bad, was it?

No. No. It was fine.

(CHUCKLES)

It's so good to see you.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR, DOOR OPENS)

(XAVIER) Wendy.

Yeah?

(SPANISH) We're all going out tonight.

(BOTH IN ENGLISH) - Oh, yeah? Who's going? - Uh, Isabelle and everyone.

Oh, no. I think I’m gonna leave it.

No, Wendy, you have to go out.

Um, Xavier, I can't. I've--

I’ve really gotta write. Okay?

But, Wendy, you will write tomorrow. Come on.

No. This is my diary. You know, I need to be disciplined.

Wendy, you're too serious, you know.

What do you mean I’m too serious?

You are not a nun.

- Come on. Come with us tonight, please. - Listen, I’m not a nun.

I just don't wanna go out with... everyone.

Okay, I don't like clubs, and I don't like dancing.

Now maybe I’m not your idea of a typical trendy London girl,

but techno music bores me, all right?

If I’m a nun 'cause I don't get out of this house enough for you guys, that's just too bad.

Have a great evening.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Wendy.

Leave me alone, you frog.

(KNOCKING)

Come on. I'm not a frog.

♪♪ (TECHNO)

Whoo!

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(YELLING)

♪♪ (CONTINUES)

(YELLING)

No!

(ALL CHATTERING)

(ENGLISH) No. William!

Pull your trousers up. Why did you do that?

(ALL CHATTERING)

Come on. Come on.

Come on!

(WENDY) Come on.

Come on.

(ENGLISH) ♪ No woman, no cry ♪

♪ No woman, no cry ♪

♪ Said I remember ♪

♪ When I used to sit ♪

(MUTTERING)

♪ In a government yard In trench town ♪

Uh--

♪ Observing the hypocrites ♪

♪ I mingle with The good people we meet ♪

♪ In this great future ♪

♪ You can't forget your past ♪

(ENGLISH) You okay, William? It's okay.

♪ Dry your tears, I say ♪

It's okay.

♪ Everything is gonna be All right ♪

♪ Everything is gonna be All right ♪

♪ Everything is gonna be All right ♪

♪ Everything is gonna be All right ♪

♪ I said No woman, no cry ♪

(RETCHING)

♪ I said, no woman No woman, no cry ♪

(WHIMPERS) I wanna go home.

♪ No woman, no cry ♪

- (RETCHING) - ♪ No woman, no cry ♪♪

(RETCHING CONTINUES)

You take ecstasy.

(MAN SPEAKING ENGLISH) From Delhi I went down to Agra.

I don't need ecstasy, Alessandro.

You know what's in Agra, right?

(WENDY SPEAKING ENGLISH) Yeah.

Taj Mahal.

And that was real nice. That was-- (CHUCKLES)

That was a sight. Except, uh, the monsoon started.

That was a bit of a problem because in the hotel we had snakes coming out of the toilet.

Oh, my God.

Which is a bigger problem when you're sick,

and you're hugging the toilet.

(CHUCKLES)

Who's this?

I'm-- I was, um--

Oh, this is my brother.

Hey.

(WILLIAM) How you doing?

I'm doing all right.

Where are you from?

From the states.

From, uh-- I know that.

Santa Fe.

From what-- (MUMBLES)

Ooh. Santa Fe.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

Are you okay?

So, are you into my sister?

(CHUCKLES)

I'll see you guys later.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm sorry I--

Come on. Just come on. Just walk.

Yeah?

So there's me with this amount of piss.

That's 'cause you drink too much.

I want to sit down.

What? No. William. William, come on.

Five minutes.

Are you all right?

Uh, my-- just five minutes.

Just take some deep breaths. In.

Five minutes is not a long time.

Out.

Five minutes is not a long--

Hang on!

(BELL TOLLING)

♪♪ (VOCALIZING)

(SPANISH) Hi!

Hi!

Guten tag. Where's Alessandro?

(ENGLISH) I don't know. He's gone out.

(ENGLISH) Oh. Okay.

What are you doing?

Uh, I’m learning. I have my exams next week.

Your exams?

Exams. Yeah.

Next week.

Yeah. It's marketing stuff.

Know Philip Kotler?

No, no.

He's a great man.

Yeah. 'cause that would really piss me off,

having to be in here all the time when there's sun shining outside,

doing that work all the time.

You're a very sort of, uh--

More than the others, you're very sort of, "This is my work.

(MIMICS GERMAN ACCENT) "I must do my work. Oh, my God.

"I have not revised for a whole day.

This is going to be the end of my world."

(CHUCKLES) You know?

It's so, like, tidy everywhere.

(CHUCKLES)

You think so?

Yeah, yeah, it is. I mean, look at Alessandro's bed, you know.

It's-- it's a right mess. (CHUCKLES)

You know, Italy, Germany.

(CHUCKLES) That's the German thing, right? You know?

What?

Well, Germans are always like, everything is in order.

All the time.

I-- I don't know.

Yeah. Like Adolf. Adolf Hitler started that sort of thing in Germany...

with the buses and the trains and things like that, you know.

(GERMAN ACCENT) "The trains must run on time," you know.

In England, everything's late. And, uh--

Trains are late, buses are late.

Listen, I really have to learn,

and I want you to get out.

(GERMAN ACCENT) You want me to get out of your room?

Out of here? (CHUCKLES)

Sieg heil! (CHUCKLES)

That really don't make me laugh.

(GERMAN ACCENT) It was just a joke. Come back.

Wendy.

Yeah?

(SPANISH) Can I speak to you?

(SPANISH) In Spanish?

(SPANISH) Whatever.

What about?

Your brother.

It was a joke! I wasn't even--

But it's not funny!

But he's made it sound worse than it is. It's not that bad.

I don't care. I don't care.

You just gotta pack your bags, and you're gonna go.

What?

Yes, William. Surprise, surprise. You've gotta grow up, and you've gotta learn.

You cannot-- cannot behave like this.

You don't mean that.

Yeah, I do mean it.

Why are you taking your shoes off? Go.

No--

Go.

I treat people fine.

A bit more responsible.

Your friends are boring.

Well, get out! Get out!

All right, I will! All right, I will!

(SPRING REVERBERATES)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR SLAMS)

(FRUSTRATED GROAN)

(BOTH SOBBING, CHUCKLING)

I'm sorry.

Okay.

(CHUCKLES)

(COUGHS)

(CHUCKLES)

(MOANS)

(SPEAKING FRENCH) You're driving me crazy.

(FRENCH) We shouldn't do this at your place.

No, wait. I better go.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Don't take it badly!

(JEAN-MICHEL CALLS OUT)

Whoa! Xavier!

Ehh.

I'm delighted! It's been too long!

It's true. I was just leaving.

Oh, no, no, no, you're not going.

Stay for a drink at least.

Let me get rid of my stuff.

Stay, stay, stay.

Stop!

So, I hear...

You've taken my wife to every seedy bar in town?

Yeah, I’m cor-- I'm... rupt-- I’m corrupting her. A bit.

You okay, sweetie?

A little tired.

(SIGHS)

(SPANISH) Yes.

(MARTINE) Xavier.

Just a moment.

(FRENCH) Xavier! "I love you, my love."

(FRENCH) Yeah, hi! How's it going?

(DOOR OPENS)

For a long time? For a long time?

How long?

Hmm.

Who is it?

What's his name?

Hmm.

What can I say?

Hmm.

So that's that. Bye!

Yeah, I--

(DOOR CLOSES)

(WILLIAM SPEAKING FRENCH) Xavier, my friend, incredible!

(FRENCH) You Barcelona.

(FRENCH) The women of Paris.

Mais oui with me.

♪♪ (LIGHT ROCK)

♪ A heart that's ♪

♪ Full up like a landfill ♪

♪ A job that slowly kills you ♪

♪ Bruises that won't heal ♪

♪ You look ♪

♪ So tired, unhappy ♪

♪ Bring down ♪

♪ The government ♪

♪ They don't ♪

♪ They don't speak for us ♪♪

(RUMBLING LOUDLY)

(SPEAKING FRENCH) You don't love me anymore either.

Of course I do!

I left, but I still love you.

I'm lucky to have this experience.

Fuck, Martine, I need you.

You don't love me. You are incapable of love.

You only care about yourself! Your studies, your career,

your job at the goddamn ministry!

Not at all.

Yes! Yes!

That job gives your parents such pleasure.

Your father, his friend. Your mother-- her you love!

Mais non.

(FRENCH) Don't worry, it's moving.

We're 15 minutes from the airport.

Well, I’m happy to see you.

Even if it's short.

But why'd you only come back for one day?

Can't we even talk?

Aren't you happy to see me?

Shut up!

Shut the fuck up, mom!

♪♪ (POP ON TV)

(WENDY SPEAKING ENGLISH) I seem to be the only one that cleans this kitchen.

Lars, are you gonna help me?

I'm sorry. I have to go.

What about you two? Xavier? Alessandro?

I'll go. I come.

Oh, my God. Are you feeling okay?

Oh, my God. Yeah.

Do you know what this is?

No, what is?

It's a mop.

What the fuck are you doing? Are you gonna watch MTV for how long?

I mean, you gotta do something about this.

♪♪ (CONTINUES)

What are you trying to prove to everyone here?

That you're sad?

I mean, you got the right to be sad, but this is-- This is ridiculous.

Everyone is freaking out on you like that-- everyone.

Oh, yes?

Yes.

(DOORBELL JINGLING)

(LARS SPEAKING ENGLISH) I'll get it.

Anna!

(LARS SPEAKING DANISH) Come in! Don't stand out in the hall!

(NARRATING IN FRENCH) I only understood later.

Life can be worse than a bad sitcom.

(DANISH)

(XAVIER SPEAKING FRENCH) That means, "Is that your baby?"

(COOING)

(DANISH)

And that means, "Yes,

and yours too."

(COOING CONTINUES)

Then something like--

(DANISH)

(XAVIER NARRATING) "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know how to get in touch with you.

"I thought I was stronger, but it's been really hard.

I'm alone. He has no father."

(SPANISH) Oh, what a beautiful baby!

(COOING)

Um--

Soledad, Anna.

Hi!

(DANISH) There are seven of us living here.

(SPANISH) You really piss me off! Acting so cool.

You're a father.

I mean, scream! Cry! Smash something!

Do something! React!

♪♪ (MARCHING BAND ON TV)

(XAVIER NARRATING) My life's always been such a mess!

Complicated, pathetic, untidy, completely chaotic.

Life seems simpler for everyone else.

More logical, you know?

♪♪ (CONTINUES)

(ENGLISH) I used to have a friend who used to, uh, collect flies in Brighton,

and he used to say that, uh, against all odds...

Flies are actually very talkative creatures.

They're very, um, eager to communicate. Yeah.

D-do you know how they reproduce?

No.

Right.

Well, say you're the, uh, female fly, yeah?

And I’m the male fly.

And, uh, basically what they do is they-- The male fly flies around like--

(BUZZING)

(BUZZING CONTINUES)

And they don't know where they're going. (BUZZING)

And he's gonna go around again. If he sees the female fly-- (BUZZING)

(BUZZING STOPS) Like that. And then he goes-- (BUZZING)

(MAKES SPITTING NOISE) He spits.

Like that. And she's pregnant.

See? Nature. It's crazy, isn't it?

William, come on.

Okay.

(CHUCKLING)

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) My life was already a big mess.

Now it pushed me-- well, right over the edge.

I was fucked.

First I saw Wendy necking with that American.

Then I ran smack into Erasmus.

(BOTH SPEAKING FRENCH) Erasmus?

Yes.

(FRENCH) I'm sorry. I don't understand.

It's no big deal.

I was so happy to see you.

But it's no big deal.

At first I was super excited.

It's no big deal, I told you.

I know but--

You know, Xavier, it's really no big deal.

I was happy to see you.

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) I-I don't understand you.

Uh, we had a talk together after La Paloma with Soledad,

and both of you made fun of Bruce,

saying he was the typical ridiculous American prick.

And Saturday I saw you kissing with him at Maremagnum.

So I-it is just for me. I need to understand why you went out with this stupid American guy.

- And don't tell me he's not stupid. - Oh, no, of course.

I know he's stupid.

So why then?

(FRUSTRATED SIGH)

What can I say? I'm attracted to him.

You know? He's different. He's fun.

You know the night when-- We all spent together, and he played the guitar--

We all sang. It was... great. I loved that.

"No woman, no cry"?

Yeah. "No woman, no cry." What's wrong with that?

You're attracted by that, Wendy?

(LAUGHS) It's fucking ridiculous.

Look, it's just fucking sex, Xavier, okay?

I like having sex with him.

A-and what about your boyfriend?

Fuck, Xavier, you can't talk. Look at you.

Look, I know your girlfriend dumped you, okay,

and I know you're going through a hard time, but I’m not responsible for that.

(FRENCH) Erasmus?

(FRENCH) Yes?

Excuse me.

I think I’m sick.

I can't sleep. I'm depressed.

It's not normal.

It may not be serious.

Your limbic system may be acting up.

What's that?

The primitive, animalistic part of the brain.

The opposite of the cerebral cortex.

Maybe you--

That must be it!

Does that cause visions?

You have visions?

What kind?

(FOOTSTEPS PASSING)

I see Erasmus.

Let's run some tests.

(SPANISH) Close your eyes and count to 10.

(FRENCH) One--

(MACHINES BEEPING)

(CHATTERING)

(BEEPING CONTINUES)

(BUZZING)

(WHINNIES)

(SPEAKING SPANISH) The hippocampus?

(SPEAKING FRENCH) Inside the temporal lobe.

Pero--

(SPANISH) I can't speak French anymore!

(FRENCH) We're going to clean all that up.

(SPANISH) I've lost my mother tongue!

(MAN YELLING IN SPANISH) Come on, guys. Let's clean up that mess!

(FRENCH) What are you doing here?

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Well, nothing. I-- I'm strolling.

(CHIRPING CONTINUES)

Xavier,

you're driving me crazy!

(MACHINES BEEPING SOFTLY)

Jean-Michel.

(SPEAKING FRENCH) So, there you go.

All your test results.

As I thought, absolutely nothing.

Just a bit overworked.

You didn't see anything?

No. These scanners pick up everything.

So--

Not a thing.

On the other hand,

I want you to stop seeing Anne-Sophie.

She told me everything, and...

I don't want you to see her again.

I don't want to see you either.

But--

Shut up.

(XAVIER NARRATING) I stopped seeing Anne-Sophie.

(PHONE RINGING)

However, Wendy kept seeing her American.

(MOANS)

(RINGING CONTINUES)

(HUMMING)

Hola.

(ENGLISH) Who? Alistair?

Ah, Wendy-- Wendy is sleeping now.

You want I wake her up?

Ah, you don't want I wake her up.

And, uh-- Ah. Ah, you're in the airport.

Surprise. Don't worry. Don't worry. Surprise.

Bye-bye. Okay. Bye. Bye.

(HUMMING)

(MAN ON P.A. SPEAKING SPANISH)

(PLANE ENGINES ROARING)

(BEEPING)

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

Hola.

(SPANISH) Who's Alistair? Do you remember?

(SPANISH) Alistair is Wendy’s boyfriend.

I'm sure.

(SPANISH) Holy shit!

You met him. He came to visit.

Why?

He just landed in Barcelona.

He's here? In Barcelona?

No shit!

I've got to warn her!

¡Sí, sí, sí!

Wendy.

Wendy-- (MUMBLING)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(BARKING)

(LAUGHING)

(PHONE RINGS)

(HOWLING)

Wendy.

(ITALIAN) Holy shit!

William. Yeah, how are you?

You have to go home. No. Yeah.

(PANTING) 'cause-- 'cause-- Alistair.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(SPANISH) I'll get the phone. Be careful!

Yes. Hi, Alessandro! I hear you.

What? Fuck!

Okay, okay, okay. We're on our way.

¿Qué pasa?

Hello.

(FRENCH) Yeah?

Shit!

(BARKING)

Ow! (LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING, YELLING)

(BELL TOLLING)

Joder.

(PANTING)

(LAUGHING) Stop.

(WOMAN SPEAKING CATALAN)

(ENGLISH) Hey, hey, hey, hey. Alistair.

What you doing here?

(ENGLISH) Oh, I just got here.

I was just about to ring the bell.

Ah. Great.

Glad to see you.

Yeah. Thanks. It's good to see you.

Yes.

You look well.

That's great. I'm glad to see you.

Yeah. It's good to see you.

Um--

(KEYS JINGLING)

(FRENCH) Shit!

(ENGLISH) Yes, my key doesn't work.

The door is broken. It's always happening.

Oh. Shall I try?

No. No, no. No.

When it's broken, it's broken, you know.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

So, um-- Ah, this door.

Maybe you can drink something downstairs. Yes!

Let's have a drink--

No one's in?

No. Let's have a beer.

Okay.

Okay?

Hey.

I came right here.

Hey, Xavier.

What's up? What's up?

The door is broken again.

Oh, fuck.

So we're gonna drink something downstairs.

Drink. Great idea.

(ALISTAIR) What are you gonna do about the door?

Don't worry. Lars and Soledad have a key that works when the door is broken.

(SPANISH) You okay, Lars?

Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey.

(ALL CHATTERING)

(SPANISH) Fine.

Alistair.

And you guys have a key that works, right?

(ENGLISH) Of course.

Right. I-I’d love to drop this off.

(SPANISH) Moron!

(SPANISH) Sorry.

What do we do?

(SPANISH) He's gonna suspect something.

Act like the key sticks.

(ENGLISH) No! No! Bollocks!

(ENGLISH) Does Wendy know that, uh--

No, no. No, no.

Oh. And this for Wendy.

Yep.

(CHATTERING)

(BANGING ON DOOR)

(SOLEDAD) Wendy's going to be really happy--

Finally.

The door is open.

(SOLEDAD) Do you want a drink, Alistair?

What the hell are you doing?

Shh! Shh!

(WHISPERING) Alistair's here! Now! Now! Get up! Get up!

Uh, after you came here, I went to see my girlfriend in Paris.

I wanted to tell you that. You remember?

Okay.

Tell me about it in a minute. I'm gonna drop this in Wendy’s room.

But Alist--

T--

What the fuck are you doing?

Alistair. Alistair. This is Wendy’s boyfriend, um, Alistair.

Uh, yes, um, uh--

Did-- did-- How was the-- How was the-- the trip down?

Was-- was it, um, nice?

This is, um-- This is the first time...

that I’ve ever done anything like this.

Uh,

I’m sorry. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

N-no. Uh, I’m sorry.

Uh, I’m sorry, William.

Uh, there's no problem. I'm sorry.

(THUD)

Oh.

Okay. All right.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay?

Yeah. Okay. Sorry.

Yeah. Bye.

(ALISTAIR) So, uh, what were you gonna tell me...

(DOOR CLOSES)

About your, uh, girlfriend?

- You know. - Yeah.

But I-it's okay.

It's okay?

I-- I don't know what to say. Um--

It's all right. I don't think you need to say anything.

Okay. Uh, I won't say anything.

And, um-- and you, uh-- You don't say anything?

Okay.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Hello, everybody.

Alistair!

Oh, my God.

Surprise.

What are you doing here? (CHUCKLES)

Oh. (MOUTHS WORDS)

These are for you.

Oh, God. They're beautiful.

You look great.

(WENDY CHUCKLES)

Oh, I’ve missed you. Mmm.

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) The year was almost over.

I made a list of all the things...

I'd wanted to do in Barcelona...

and never got around to.

(FRENCH) You been to Montjouic?

Yeah.

I'm sure I missed a lot.

It's a shame you're not a girl.

Mm.

The world's badly made.

♪♪ (POP)

(NARRATING) So! I leave tomorrow.

We threw a little good-bye party.

I didn't feel ready.

I hadn't even finished packing.

(SPEAKING FRENCH) It's so hot!

(NEUS) Hola.

(SPANISH) What're you doing here?

I'm a friend of Soledad’s.

Oh?

I lived with her.

(XAVIER) Well, in the same apartment.

Yeah, I know.

Really?

(FRENCH) We're gonna get going. I gotta be up early.

(SPANISH) Excuse me.

Thanks. It was very nice.

(FRENCH) I'm so pleased you both came. Really.

That really pleased me.

Okay. Well, bye.

Bye.

Um--

Good-bye, Anne-Sophie.

Good-bye.

♪♪ (MAN SINGING IN SPANISH ON SPEAKERS)

♪♪ (CONTINUES)

Xavier.

(SPEAKING ENGLISH) Look.

What?

Look there.

(SPANISH) What?

(ENGLISH) Isabelle's there. Look. She's kissing a girl.

She's kissing a girl. Look.

(ENGLISH) Come on.

Do you know what I mean? I'm basically a nice person.

I mean, people meet me, and they like me a lot.

Would you please shut up?

All right.

♪♪ (TECHNO)

(CHATTERING, INDISTINCT)

(FRENCH) Excuse me.

(ENGLISH) Excuse me, but I have to go back now at home.

The airport?

Uh, yes, I have to be at the airport at 8:00,

and I haven't finished packing my stuff.

I'm sorry.

Give him the t-shirt.

We have a little good-bye present for you.

Yeah.

Wow, that's great.

Everybody write.

(MUMBLES)

(SPANISH) Thank you so much!

Muchas gracias.

(FRENCH) Bye.

Ciao.

(ENGLISH) Come to Paris.

Yep.

(SPANISH) Practice your Spanish!

See you soon.

Ciao.

Ciao.

Have a good trip.

Bye, Lars.

Ciao.

Ciao.

Arrivederci.

(ENGLISH) Come to Roma.

Yes. Come to Paris.

(FRENCH) Go on! Get lost!

(ENGLISH) Bye, Wendy.

What's happening, Wendy?

I don't know.

Well, you're the first one to go, and we're all gonna leave, right?

It's strange.

Yeah. Go. Go on.

(SPANISH) See you soon.

Hasta luego. Ciao.

Ciao.

(FRENCH) I'm coming to France next year.

You speak French?

Yeah!

You never told me!

I have to go. I--

We'll see each other again.

Yeah.

Ciao.

Ciao.

(SOLEDAD) Bon voyage!

(SPANISH) See ya!

(SPEAKING CATALAN) Speak Catalan!

Little by little!

(ENGLISH) Come on.

♪♪ (WOMAN SINGING

IN SPANISH ON RADIO)

(ENGLISH) "Goddamn, can't do my work. Man, leave me alone."

Bye.

Get back to France with all the other frogs.

And lay off the foie gras!

(LAUGHING)

♪♪ (CONTINUES)

(BEEP ON P.A.)

(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH ON P.A.)

(SIZZLING)

(XAVIER'S MOTHER, IN FRENCH) It's weird to buy meat! I haven't bought meat in years.

You're going to enjoy this! Grade a prime.

(FRENCH) I'll do it.

Merci.

So?

Happy to be back?

Yeah, yeah.

Nothing to say?

I don't know.

It was great.

So, tell!

Ma, I was there for a year.

Exactly! And you have nothing to say!

Come on. Stop, ma.

Mom,

I’m happy to see you!

You wouldn't know it!

(CHUCKLING)

(FRENCH) Then why'd you tell me that?

I told you because--

because I wanted to hurt you.

I know you loved me.

But sometimes you've got to hit where it's going to hurt.

Bon.

(XAVIER NARRATING) I knew that was the last time we'd ever kiss.

I thought of our first kiss.

It was on d'Orchampt Street...

on the tiniest sidewalk in Paris.

So much happened between those kisses.

So many streets traversed.

(VOICES OVERLAPPING IN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES)

(NARRATING) So many convoluted routes.

Just to wind up here. Today. Without her.

♪♪ (LIGHT ROCK)

(XAVIER NARRATING) It was a neighborhood Parisians never visit.

♪ A heart that's ♪

♪ Full up like a landfill ♪

I was a foreigner among foreigners.

♪ A job that slowly kills you ♪

What was I doing there? I didn't know. I never seemed to know.

♪ You look ♪

I must be typical.

♪ So tired, unhappy ♪

♪ Bring down ♪

(CHATTERING)

♪ The government ♪

(LAUGHING)

No, no.

No, no, no.

(FRENCH) Erasmus?

Uh-huh.

(MAN) Pourquoi?

♪ I’ll take a quiet life ♪

♪ A handshake ♪

♪ Of carbon monoxide ♪♪

(XAVIER NARRATING IN FRENCH) So I took the exam. It's my first day on the job.

I've got that same old stomachache!

Like the first day of school.

That same fucking stomachache. I thought I was over that!

(FRENCH) Here we are!

Room 2038. There you go! Your office.

(FRENCH) I heard you were here.

Bonjour.

Welcome to the club! Hello, Bernard.

Tell him everything! Here's the file we discussed.

Listen, I’m a bit swamped, but I’ll see you soon.

Okay.

Ciao.

So, how about a coffee?

You'll see.

The building's austere, but it's got a super ambience!

That's very true.

We really have fun, don't we?

How old are you?

Twenty-five.

You'll certainly be a young retiree!

They tend to roast us to death,

so I set my heater at two.

Two's good. That's more than sufficient.

The files. No mistakes there, huh?

You've got your yellows, your blues, your reds.

Same for the computer.

They're finicky at the European commission!

Oh, yeah. There's no kidding around there!

Everything in place! A place for everything!

Isn't that true, Mr. Bernard?

♪♪ (WOMAN SINGING IN SPANISH)

♪♪ (CONTINUES)

(NARRATING) I choose a future without prospects.

I'm going to do what I’ve always wanted.

I'm going to write.

Now it's all clear, simple.

That's not me.

Neither is that. Or that.

I'm not that anymore.

But I’m all that.

I'm him, him and him.

But him and him too.

And him too.

And I’m him too.

(CHILD'S VOICE) I want to write books.

(XAVIER NARRATING) And him--

him I don't want to disappoint.

I'm her,

her and her too.

I'm French, Spanish, English, Danish.

I'm not one, but many.

I'm like Europe. I'm all that.

I'm a real mess.

Now I can tell everything.

It all started here. When my plane took off.

It's not a story about taking off.

After all, it is a story about taking off.

It all started here.

♪♪ (MAN SINGING IN SPANISH)

♪♪ (SALSA)

♪♪ (CONTINUES)

♪♪ (CONTINUES)

♪♪ (ENDS)