Original subtitles

Nothing in my house as a child

contributed to my comedy. Uh I I talked

about listening in the car radio as we'd

make family trips, but that was silent.

You know, I'm listening and and just

loving these great performers.

Uh

but my house was not a a an artistic

household at all. I got lucky in one I

developed a interest in comedy ma magic

and performing. Great thing about magic

is you could buy a trick and then it had

instructions

and it had patter. Patter means talking

and you'd say the great Egyptian god fu

and you had your whole uh act kind of

defined for you. You didn't have to

think too much and you could be on

stage. Well, on stage I mean you know

doing your doing a performance at your

parents bridge party. Um,

and so I had collected this and and also

I had heard about uh performers and they

had a funny joke and I thought, "Oh,

that I didn't I didn't realize jokes

were property."

And uh there was a great uh comedy

magician named Carl Ballentine who had a

fantastic

joke where he said now the appearing

dove and he would blow up a paper sack

the appearing dove and he'd go like this

and then you just get feathers

and um so I thought well of course I can

use that and so uh I had an act and I

had actually thought up a couple of

jokes on my own. I had a um

I had the a disappearing candle and it

was a candle like this and I would put a

silk over it and then I would hold it up

and then I would go like this and the

candle was gone and then I would do

this. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. And it would get a laugh cuz

my arm was sticking out. And I had a few

little jokes. I remember I was I was in

high school and I was a cheerleader in

high school because I injured myself. I

really wanted to play football. So glad

I didn't. Um I ended up being a

cheerleader. And the reason I wanted to

be a cheerleader, I thought

that's show business standing up there

in front of those people. I'm in show

business.

As I got into college, you know, I I met

people who were inspirational to me, um,

I I got into a philosophy class. So, I

started thinking about, you know, philos

philosophy is about the willingness to

think about anything and break it down

and find out if it's true or false. And

I started thinking that way and I

thought, what if I applied that to

comedy? you know, I'm just a a kid in my

teens,

but it helped me get excited about it,

and it helped me find something new

about it, even if I'm making it up, even

if it's incorrect. I thought,

gee,

I don't see a future in me doing a magic

act.

But I did notice something. I said, I've

got to I've got to just kind of slip

into a little more comedy material.

And I thought, you know what? They love

it when the tricks don't work. So, I

started edging into like from a serious

magician into, hey, it's kind of funny

when the tricks don't work. And then I

started thinking maybe I could just do a

little bit of just regular comedy

materials, blah blah blah. And I put the

magic that that shape of that act stayed

with me my whole life where I put the

magic act at the end. It's kind of

silly. And did all this comedy up front.

So now I've got a little standup and I

and I thought I need time. I don't have

any time. Uh I don't have an act. My act

is 10 minutes long. I played the banjo.

So I I'll put the banjo in. So now I'm

accidentally creating a variety show and

I started with everything. I I played

the banjo and read poetry.

I I put everything in. I juggled. I put

in juggling and did like funny bits with

juggling

and

so slowly you're building. So, so now

I'm thinking, okay, so I'm I'm writing a

few jokes and that's fine. And then I

got this job on the Smother's brother's

comedy hour and I became a comedy writer

and I didn't know how to write a word. I

had written little funny stories that

were bizarre that had titles like uh you

know cruel shoes and the day the dopes

came over little kind of kind of

creative original but they had no

you know no outlet no purpose so there I

am writing now I have a little

background in uh writing sketches

whatever but I decide

um I don't really want to be here behind

the scenes I want to be in front of the

scenes so I quit

and went on the road with my act. And

out there

in all these little towns, these little

clubs where you perform in a corner with

no elevated stage, where you're running

the lights yourself, you know,

everything

meant something. Every lesson was

learned. every drunk person is dealt

with. Um,

and you're getting this backlog of

experience that you don't even know you

have that I I remember uh once in the

90s I did uh the play Waiting for GDAU

on at Lincoln Center with Robin Williams

directed by Mike Nichols F. Murray

Abraham.

And I thought I haven't done a play in

what was it 35 years. But when I was 18,

I worked for three years at Knottberry

Farm at a little theater uh where we did

a play four times a day. And I thought

this is exactly the same. Only the words

are different. The words are fantastic

and great, but the experience is the

same as that little thrust stage that we

perform to 200 people four times a day

and sometimes no people.

Uh sometimes we perform for two people.

So I have that in my head somewhere. How

to manage that? Uh how to not be

intimidated by three people or 18,000

people.

There's many ways to self-define success

and I've gone through many many stages

of it because at the same time you're

saying

um I'm on the cover of time. Uh I must

be successful. At the same time you're

thinking when's it all going to be over?

And uh I've had many of those moments

from I think the cover of time was like

I don't know 85 or something like

Newsweek was or 78 Newsweek and I

thinking well this happened this

happened where I became successful

and so you can notch that off. You say I

never thought it would happen but that's

your first moment of success. You could

go yeah I became successful now. Now

what happens now what is it? Is it this

for the rest of your life or is it

whatever? I I had no no clue.

Fortunately, I got into movies. So then

you have a hit. Go, oh, hit. This is so

great. Then you have some flops. Now

you're going like this. And it was only

until like the late 80s I kept thinking,

you know, I kept thinking I was going to

go away, but I never went away. So why

am I wasting all that

grief, you know, for my on what am I

putting that on myself? It's it's

survived somehow by the skin of my

teeth. And some of that is luck and some

of it is just luck.

There's this moment in in this long

career uh where you where you suddenly

kind of relax.

in this strange way that you never

thought you always thought you were

relaxed before but the truth was you're

very nervous and you're uh you know a

big project comes up like I said you

think about it for months and months and

months and then there's a sort of

elegance either maybe it's age or maybe

it's continued success or maybe it's

some kind of weird confidence even false

confidence

where it actually started to become fun

you know you finish a show and it's you

just feel ecstatic IC. I still feel that

today. I mean, if I play a show, say I

work with a band, the Rangers, or I work

with Marty, and we feel it went well,

we're we're high, you know, we really we

we discuss it and say, "How about that

in that moment?" And then we're still

high. Then, of course, the next day you

start over. And uh you know, I mean,

that that high doesn't last you through

the week. And I'm at that stage now. I'm

maybe I've lost the uh feeling that I

have to prove myself. And that's a big

relief.

So I went to London. I was so close to

Paris. I decided to go over there. So I

saw London and I saw France and then I

saw someone's underpants.

How many people have plans to go to

France? Raise your hand. Okay. Now

listen.

If you're going to France, let me give

you a warning. In France, chapo means

hat. Ru means street. It's like those

French have a different word for

everything.

They do it to screw you up. I'm not

kidding.