Original subtitles

♪ When I wake up

♪ Well, I know I'm gonna be

♪ I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you

♪ When I go out

♪ Yeah, I know I'm gonna be

♪ I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

♪ If I get drunk

♪ Well, I know I'm gonna be

♪ I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you

♪ And if I haver

♪ Hey, I know I'm gonna be

♪ I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

♪ But I would walk

♪ 500 miles

♪ And I would walk

♪ 500 more

♪ Just to be the man

♪ Who walked a thousand miles

♪ To fall down at your door

♪ Da Da Da Da ♪ Da Da Da Da

♪ Da Da Da Da ♪ Da Da Da Da

♪ Da-da Da-da Da-da Da Da Da

♪ Da Da Da Da ♪ Da Da Da Da

♪ Da Da Da Da ♪ Da Da Da Da

♪ Da-da Da-da Da-da Da Da Da

♪ When I'm lonely

♪ Well, I know I'm gonna be

♪ I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you

♪ And when I'm dreaming

♪ Well, I know I'm gonna dream

♪ I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you

♪ When I go out ♪ When I go out

♪ Well, I know I'm gonna be

♪ I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

♪ And when I come home ♪ When I come home

♪ Yes, I know I'm gonna be

♪ I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you

♪ I'm gonna be the man who's coming home

♪ With you

♪ But I would walk 500 miles

♪ And I would walk 500 more

♪ Just to be the man

♪ Who walked a thousand miles

♪ To fall down at your door

♪ Da Da Da Da ♪ Da Da Da Da

♪ Da Da Da Da ♪ Da Da Da Da

♪ Da-da Da-da Da-da Da Da Da

♪ Da Da Da Da ♪ Da Da Da Da

♪ Da Da Da Da ♪ Da Da Da Da

♪ Da-da Da-da Da-da Da Da Da

♪ And I would walk 500 miles

♪ And I would walk 500 more

♪ Just to be the man

♪ Who walked a thousand miles

♪ To fall down at your door ♪

So we're planning our next vacation, right?

I want Australia. She wants Italy.

I like snorkeling.

She likes garlic.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere,

she says to me, "Do I need her?"

Jesus, Benny, what kind of a question is that? I mean, "Need."

What does it really mean to need somebody?

Benny, fuel line!

Hey, Waldo, could you answer that phone?

Hello?

I need a check, Benny. COD.

In a minute. Meet me in the office.

All right.

Whoa! Put that out! Put that out! Put that out! I got a fuel line broke.

Hey, Benny, Joon's on the phone again!

Well, tell her I'll call her back. Find out what she wants.

It's an emergency.

She says you're running low on peanut butter super chunks.

Emergency.

All right. The issue is jelly.

You only like two kinds.

You either like grape or boysenberry. Which?

All right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, peanut butter.

I know. Super crunch. All right.

I'll see you at 6:00, okay? Bye.

Thanks for waiting, ma'am.

Um, I'm afraid the best we could do for you is gonna be, uh...

It's gonna be $750.

But I think if you check around,

you'll see that that is a really good deal. Yeah?

That there is a really very good deal, ma'am.

A little too good.

Let's do it.

Come here! Come here!

You're not doing your job!

What is your job anyway?

My job is to clean the house and I'm not doing it anymore!

Get out of my sight!

You wouldn't dare, Joon.

What is going on here, Joon?

Mrs. Smail?

Mrs. Smail, please, let me explain.

Beware. The winds of reason shall blow stern. What?

I'm done, Mr. Pearl.

I'm done!

The mule's turned to glue. She wanders off unescorted.

She has sudden outbursts.

She's simply unmanageable.

Mrs. Smail, please, wait! Please!

Let me talk to her. I can talk to her.

You can't quit on such short notice.

No. I'm sorry, sir.

In Ireland, we have a saying.

"When a boat runs ashore, the sea has spoken."

Oh, come on. You have to come. We can't play three-handed poker.

Listen, she's gonna be alone every day until I find another housekeeper.

I'm not leaving her alone at night, too.

So bring her. What's she gonna do? She paints and she reads.

Yeah. She paints. She reads. She lights things on fire.

Well, that happened once. Look, we got a fire extinguisher.

Just bring her.

Now, get your ass over here.

Don't forget the Louis Prima record you owe me.

Remember, always play for keeps, right?

All right. all right, all right. Yeah, I'll be there.

Okay!

Joon! Dinner!

Spaghetti and salad.

In that order?

What happened between you and Mrs. Smail?

She was given to fits of semiprecious metaphors.

The woman is a housekeeper, Joon, not an English professor.

She moves things.

She said you wandered off.

Did you leave the house alone?

Define "alone."

You know full well what I'm talkin' about.

Listen, while I'm at work, I can't be worried about whether or not

you're knocking another housekeeper into retirement.

First there was Mrs. Larkspur.

A woman deeply and hygienically disturbed.

Her hair smelled.

But then it was Mrs. Piltz.

Piltz?

The answer is in the question.

Let's face it, Benjamin.

Hiring housekeepers is not your forte.

Oh, yeah? Well, until I do find another housekeeper,

you are gonna stick close to the house.

Do you understand?

Now have some salad.

Oh, by the way, I want you to come with me to my poker game.

Benny... Come on. You'll have a good time.

Ah, a wet belt and buckle.

Classical Greek martini shaker.

Six turkey feather darts.

I... I'll see you with a Deanna Durbin album.

Come on.

And I'll raise you with a stethoscope.

Does it have little, uh, plastic earpieces on the end?

What do you care? You never win, Mike.

Yeah. Well, if I do, I don't want them stabbing my eardrums.

Steering wheel knob.

♪ Salad Shooter ♪

'56 Plymouth tire iron.

Fold-o.

Well, you must have a good hand, huh?

No, I'm bluffin'.

Really?

Come on! You got to play to find out. Come on.

Okay, 150 feet of coaxial cable. Show them.

Full house. Jacks over fours.

Oh, shit!

I thought he was bluffin'.

Will someone get some air to his brain?

He was bluffing about bluffing, Mike.

You're a real pal, Benny.

Let me tell you what. I got a solution to your housekeeper problem.

You can have my roommate.

Oh, that's a terrific offer, Benjamin.

Save you from the wretched chore of Smail shopping.

Those places are such drudgery, aren't they?

Montgomery and Smails. Smails and Roebuck.

- Smails-R-Us. - Joon.

You got a roommate? When did you get a roommate?

Since last week.

My cousin pounded into town

and my life has gone from heaven to hell in seven days.

Just like the good Lord intended.

Yeah. 26 years old. He can't even read.

Spends all day polishing my plastic forks.

When you say, uh, he can't read,

what do you mean, like words?

Yeah, and he keeps me up all night watchin' stupid old movies.

My work's starting to suffer.

You install cable TV.

Joon, will you please glue your sequins.

Have we an internal sequin issue to deal with, Benjamin?

All right. Can we make this the last hand?

Come on, come on, play cards.

Two tickets, tomorrow night's baseball game.

One pocket fisherman.

Fold. Do you eve stay in?

Snorkel mask.

She really knows how to rattle the day help.

You know, I think we need to find someone more understanding than Mrs. Smail.

Now tell me something, how are you two getting along?

Us?

Fine. Normal. You know, fine.

Why?

I'll level with you.

I think it's time you gave some serious consideration to a group home.

She already has a home.

Benny, she'd be with her peers.

Yeah, she hates her peers.

She's already quit the two day centers to prove it.

Look, all we need right now is a new housekeeper.

Well, I know of no one else.

You've been up and down the list.

Now, you might want to entertain the possibility

that there's some people

more capable of handling these episodes than you.

I'm beginning to think that you two living together

may not be the best thing anymore.

I'm her brother and I'm her only family

and we've done just fine.

The two of us for 12 years.

Yes.

But her stress level is always a factor

in her display of symptoms.

Her agitation should be kept to a minimum.

Everybody gets agitated. Sometimes it's the only option.

Benny, don't get me wrong.

I'm impressed how you've managed this long.

But, a group home would give her a chance

to develop other relationships.

Also, we don't know this,

but what if she were capable of a part-time job?

They'd encourage her in that direction.

These are very nice places.

Nurturing, supportive.

I'm not farming her out.

Hey, get going!

Get out of the street!

Uh-huh.

I have every right to be outside, Officer.

I have every right. Yes, ma'am.

May I see some ID, please?

Hey, Waldo, did you start that brake job yet?

Joon called. She says that you've run out of tapioca.

She what?

Oh, and the police will corroborate.

Holy shit!

Listen, Jack, you wanna go to the baseball game tonight?

Hey, thanks, Benny. Box seats.

Hello. Joon?

Time for your meds, Joon.

Good night, Steve.

Oh, hello. How's it going?

I appreciate the deal on the engine.

Oh, good. No problem.

Is it running all right? Yeah, it's running great.

Oh, good. So, can I...

Can I make it up to you with some dinner?

Some dinner? Uh, are you serious?

Yeah. Dinner with you.

You know what, I can't.

I mean, I'd like to... It's okay.

Okay.

Stupid. Stupid.

18-15.

It's 17-16.

18-15.

It caught the corner.

It was a foot off the table.

It was not.

Juniper... Benjamin.

Don't underestimate the mentally ill. We know how to count.

Okay, fine. 17-16.

You can't give me what was already mine.

You're trying to cheat. I'm not cheating.

You're cheating. Joon, I don't cheat. You're the one who's cheating.

You're all trying to cheat me. You're trying to cheat...

Yeah.

All right. I spoke to some of the guys on the staff, Benny.

Nobody wants to be a housekeeper.

I will. I'll keep trying,

but I got to tell you honestly,

I don't think so.

Yeah. Okay. Thanks. Bye.

Okay, Stevie.

I mean, I can't even keep a goldfish alive.

What chance do I have with Joon?

If something bad happened to her, I'd...

I'd never ever be able to forgive myself.

A group home is the right thing for her, Benny.

Yeah. This is definitely for her own good.

Hey, it's for both your own good.

How much longer can you do this to yourself?

Your life is literally passing you by.

You're right.

You're right. What am I doing with myself?

I spend my life working on cars

and taking care of my sister.

I can't even have a relationship

without having to worry about how Joon is gonna fit in.

You know, once she gets settled in, you could actually take a vacation.

Travel a little. I can hold down the fort, no problem.

Travel?

Travel?

Benny, there's a whole world out there, man.

I mean, picture yourself on the open road.

Wind in the hair in the El Camino.

Highway stretchin' out...

What's that?

Up ahead?

A lovely motorist. Stranded.

Carburetor trouble.

Better investigate.

Yeah, right. I'm gonna be stopping at a pay phone

every 15 minutes to call Joon to see how she's doing.

Okay, let's see.

Black Sabbath over there.

Is that a flashlight? It's not a flashlight.

It turns out it's a brush kind of a thing

and this is a hat.

Where's the batteries? You didn't win batteries.

Who gets the ice nudies? Those are mine.

Okay. Hey, guys, come on, hurry it up, huh? Or we'll start without you!

I've been known to play a little cards.

Hmm.

Box of .30-06 cartridges.

Hmm.

Medium sized green-haired troll.

Soap on a rope, slightly used.

Cards? Three.

Cards? Two.

And the dealer takes

three.

Pass.

Regrout my shower. Blue grout.

I fold.

Shampoo my dog.

Lava lamp.

Scrape and paint the exterior of my house.

Hey, hey, hey. Come on, slow down, you guys, okay?

This is supposed to be reasonable stakes.

That's a see and a raise. You follow me?

You take my cousin off my hands.

Wait, wait, wait. Just stop, all right?

Benny's gonna strangle you guys.

Chill out, Thomas.

Joon, we got to go.

A flush.

Full house.

Yes. Yes!

Benny, tonight's your lucky night.

Mike warned her. It... It was for keeps, Benny.

What? What was for keeps?

I lost.

What's in the pot?

A cousin.

Hey, man, rules are rules.

Without them there's no order in the universe.

Oh, don't you give me that crap.

You took advantage.

Of your sick sister.

A heart flush is a perfectly respectable hand.

- Not respectable enough. - Hey, shut up, Mike.

I am not taking this guy home.

You have to, man!

Remember the bet I lost last year?

When I had to replate your socket set. I didn't back out, did I?

You can't bet a human being!

Oh, well, if you're gonna be a baby about it...

All right, Mike, you wanna play like that,

I'll take him.

I may not be responsible for what I'm gonna do to him,

but I'll take him.

Oh, man.

What are you doing, you stupid jerk?

Oh, there's something wrong with your car.

What did you do with my hubcaps?

I don't know.

I'm Sam.

So I hear.

I'm Benny.

With an "N"?

Yeah, two of them.

Oh, two.

This is Joon.

With an "N"?

One.

You're out of your tree.

It's not my tree.

I think I need a beer.

Hey, Benny, wait a minute. Where you going?

Come here, man. Give me a jump! Hey!

You're goin' with them.

Oh, God bless you.

Hey, pal, we're tryin' to work here,

if you don't mind.

Oh, my God.

I've just been looking for my boyfriend.

Have you seen him?

He's a cute guy with a little mole on his right cheek.

Hey, Ruthie, one of your ghosts come back to haunt you?

Oh, Brad! Oh, Brad! Brad, please don't be dead!

Brad, I never got a chance to tell you what you meant to me.

Oh, Brad, please!

It's you. You're you. Ruthie Mallenek,

costar of The Prom Queen Mutilator with Dick Beebee.

You saw that?

He was mine!

He was mine!

No, Cindy, you're sick.

Cindy, you need help.

No, Cindy!

No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No!

Mmm...

Don't... Don't touch it.

It's paint.

Yes.

Kirk Douglas. Van Gogh. Ear.

These are yours. You'll sleep here.

All right?

Come on, it's late. Let's brush your teeth and hair.

I can brush my own teeth, Benjamin.

Fine.

Hair, too.

Perfect. Come on.

Oh, oh, Benny!

Hey, Benny.

Thanks for the couch.

Um, Mike made me sleep under the sink.

Oh.

You're welcome.

Good night. Good night.

Mentally ill?

Really?

Yeah.

But, I mean, don't worry about it.

But just, uh, let her go about her routine, you know.

Her routine is everything to her.

Oh. And don't hang around her room while she's painting.

Oh, she hates that. No.

She runs hot and cold on you, just ignore it.

That's just the way it works.

Oh, listen, um, if she starts talking to herself,

don't worry about it, but don't answer.

Okay.

She sometimes hears voices in her head.

That comes with the territory, too.

And, um,

just make sure that nothing,

and, you know, I mean nothing,

happens to her.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

Having a Boo Radley moment, are we?

Mmm.

Good morning.

Hey. This today?

Yeah.

So, uh... So what did you do with the cousin?

The bus station, the river, what? Throw him in the river?

No, I took him home.

You took him home? Yeah.

To your house?

Yeah, to my house. What, are you crazy?

Hey, believe me. It's only temporary.

Great. Hey, maybe he can tell Joon about the group home, huh?

Listen, if I'm gonna do this group home thing,

I got to figure out the best way to tell her, you know what I mean.

Where's Waldo? Is he not here yet?

No.

All right. That's it. I'm gonna have a talk with him.

No, you're not. Yes, I am.

I'm calling him right now. What's his phone number?

555-0944.

♪ Pushing

♪ Too late to cry

♪ She turned away

♪ I started pushing

♪ I saw no future in this lack

♪ I started pushing

♪ Pushing, pushing forward back

♪ Now I'm pushing

Loud!

Too loud! Too loud!

What?

♪ Pushing, pushing forward back ♪

Oh!

Hey.

Where's Sam?

I didn't mean to kick him out.

I mean, I didn't kick him out. He just... He just left.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What... What happened? Did something happen?

He just... He just left.

He was... He was

in the air and...

With a thing, and, uh... It was really loud.

It was really loud.

And I... I just kept seeing...

He didn't mean to do it.

Do it?

What?

What did he... What did he do?

He cleaned the house.

And you kicked him out for that?

Maybe I should invite him back in.

Yeah.

Before someone sticks a stamp on his head and mails him to Guam.

Some cultures

are defined by their relationship to cheese.

Is that a fact?

He can really cook, can't he?

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Although for grilled cheese,

I might've used the wool setting.

That's what I told him.

Really?

Hmm.

What... What did he use?

Rayon. Mmm.

Silk would've been too soggy.

Cotton would've... Would've burned it.

Right.

Fortunately he consulted me before giving it steam.

I was foursquare against it.

Wish he could be my new Smail.

♪ The melodious songs of the blessed

♪ And our spirits shall sorrow no more

♪ Not a sigh for the blessing of rest

♪ In the sweet, by and by

♪ We shall meet on that beautiful shore

♪ In the sweet, by and by

♪ We shall meet on that beautiful shore

Too bad. What a shame.

Okay.

Good night.

Good night.

Do you need some help?

"Dear Mom,

"I have departed Mike's with love and gratitude

"and am now living with Benny and Joon Pearl,

"two magnificently devoted new friends.

"Benny's predisposition to hypertense Irish monologuists notwithstanding,

"he has given me a job as a domestic engineer

"and seems pleased with my performance so far.

"Love, Sam."

Wow.

I didn't know I could talk like that.

Tapioca?

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Thank you, Ruthie.

You're welcome, Sam.

Let me know if you need anything, okay?

You don't like raisins?

Not really.

Why?

They used to be fat and juicy

and now they're twisted.

Like they had their life stolen.

Well, they taste sweet,

but really, they're just humiliated grapes.

I can't say I'm a big supporter of the raisin council.

Did you see those raisins on TV?

The ones that sing and dance and stuff.

They scare me. Yeah, me, too.

It's sick.

The commercial people,

they make them sing and dance so people will eat them.

It's a shame about raisins.

Cannibals. Yeah.

Do you like avocados?

They're a fruit, you know.

Ruthie?

Do you got any avocados?

Joon?

You're very pretty when you're off work, Ruthie.

Thank you. Maybe I should quit my job, huh?

Where the hell have you two been?

Oh, don't worry. They were with me.

We were just running some errands.

Oh, hi. How you doing? Hi.

You're running errands? You ran an errand?

Yes, I did. I ran an errand.

Oh, look.

They're both named Steven,

one with a "V" and one with a "PH."

Look, look, look. Ruthie's movie.

Yes, and she's staying for dinner, too.

Come on in. Come on in.

So why'd you leave? LA?

I wasn't that good of an actress.

Well, that's not how Sam tells it.

He's raving about you.

Yeah, well, he's sweeter than he is judgmental.

Hmm.

How long have you known him?

Sam? Uh...

Seventy-two hours. Be serious.

I am serious. Really?

I'm always serious. I'm too serious.

Do you ever get to the point in your life

where nothing makes any sense?

Brad? Brad?

Brad? Brad?

Quit kidding around. Quit kidding around.

This isn't funny anymore. This isn't funny anymore.

Can we turn this off? Can we just turn this off?

No.

You!

Cindy.

- Why did you do this? - Why did you do this?

You're sick. You're sick.

You need help. You need help.

Let me... Let me...

Don't. Don't.

He was mine. He was mine.

He was mine! He was mine!

And if I can't have him... And if I can't have him...

...no one can, not even you. ...no one can, not even you.

You didn't have to... You didn't have to...

...buy that same dress. ...buy that same dress.

But you're my sister, Cindy. But you're my sister, Cindy.

I'm sorry about me and Brad. I'm sorry about me and Brad.

We didn't mean to fall in love at the party.

It just happened.

Let's just forget about it, okay?

There'll be other boys,

- other midnight swims... - Other midnight swims,

...other prom dresses. ...other prom dresses.

No, Cindy. No, Cindy.

No, Cindy! No, Cindy!

No!

Try it again.

No. See, there's only two reasons a car won't start.

Either you're not getting fuel or you're not getting fire.

You've got fire.

I think you'd better let me drive you home.

Sorry.

Thanks.

Here it is. It's right here.

Second job, huh?

Yeah. Got to make those ends meet, you know.

This is just how I imagined your place.

Well...

You want to come in, or you want to...

Oh.

No.

I'll come in for a minute.

Whoa, what is this?

Wow, nice porch.

Pretty nice fish Joon gave you.

Oh, yeah, those fish.

Yeah, I was shocked. I was...

Nice fish. I mean, uh, yeah.

I never had a fish.

What?

Not even as a kid?

No. Uh, underprivileged childhood, I guess.

Downright un-American if you ask me. Yeah.

You can have one of mine if you want.

Um, no, I couldn't... I couldn't possibly.

I mean, they were a gift.

But, you know, you could borrow it.

You know, we could share it, like joint custody.

You could take it on the weekends, you know.

What is this? Wow.

Sit down, son. You're making me nervous.

Oh.

Yeah.

Want a beer?

Yeah.

Uh, you know what? I better not.

I got to get going.

I better get going, okay? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

I'll take a rain check on the beer. Okay, I got the door.

Have you ever been married? Do you want to go to dinner?

No.

Yeah. Yeah?

Great.

See you. See you.

See you.

See you next week.

Right. Thank you.

Benny, would you come inside a moment?

Sure.

Who's the new housekeeper?

The new...

Oh, this friend just came to stay with us for a while, but...

Joon tells me he's a man.

Well, you know Joon, how flowery she gets with words.

What, so she's lying?

I mean, is it a man or isn't it?

Well, yes, technically.

He's really just a guy, a friend.

So where does this leave the group home decision?

I take it you haven't talked to her about it yet.

No, not yet.

The admission date is less than a week away.

But, you see, the thing is, she's really doing fine.

She seems content and everything.

Let's just leave it at that for now.

Let me know when you want to talk to her about it.

I'll let you know.

Okay. Bye.

Hello.

I want to help.

Ah, wonderful. Okay.

If you'd like to fill out this application,

I'll be right with you.

Not so hard.

Wow, you actually have cuticles.

I know. It's amazing.

What the hell is he doing?

Mashed potatoes.

So, are you and Ruthie considering itemhood?

Are you?

♪ Benjamin and Ruthjamin sittin' in a tree

♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G

♪ First comes love

♪ Then comes marriage Get out of here.

♪ Then comes little Ruthjamins and Benjamins in a baby carriage ♪

I'm just taking her out to dinner.

♪ Hey ♪

That's a good joke.

Did you like that? Uh-huh.

What time you got?

It's 11:00.

Huh.

On the nose?

Right exactly.

Oh.

Don't think I've ever asked anybody the time before

and had it been right on the nose.

That's weird, isn't it? It's right on the nose.

Do you...

Do you wanna come in for a while?

I, um...

I've got that beer waiting for you.

Uh...

You know what?

I should probably go.

Okay.

Listen, um,

can I... Can I tell you something?

What?

Um...

You see,

my life is just real complicated and...

Give me a break, Benny. I just offered you a beer, okay?

No.

Why don't we pick up Ruthie and get some ice cream?

Yeah, let's get her.

No. Why?

'Cause she doesn't want to talk to me.

Oh.

Come on. We should go.

Knock it off.

He is... He's incredible.

He's amazing.

Did you have to go to school for that?

No, no. I got thrown out of school for that.

Really? Oh, yeah.

Hey, listen, why don't you guys go ahead?

I'm gonna... Just gonna hang out here for a while.

Okay. Okay?

Really? Really?

Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. I'll see you at home later.

All right?

Okay. Okay.

That was... That was great.

No, no, no. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Bye-bye.

♪ When the road gets dark

♪ And you can no longer see

♪ Just let my love throw a spark

♪ And have a little faith in me

♪ And when the tears you cry

♪ Are all you can believe

♪ Just give these lovin' arms a try, baby

♪ And have a little faith in me

♪ And have a little faith in me

♪ And have a little faith in me

♪ And have a little faith in me

♪ Have a little faith in me

♪ When your secret heart

♪ Cannot speak so easily

♪ Come here, darlin'

♪ From a whisper start

♪ To have a little faith in me

♪ And have a little faith in me

♪ And have a little faith in me

Joon?

What?

I... I love you.

Me, too.

Don't tell Benny. Okay.

♪ When the road gets dark

♪ And you can no longer see

♪ Just let my love throw a spark

♪ And have a little faith in me ♪

Did you see the way you had everyone

in the palm of your hand, huh?

You've got this gift and you shouldn't ignore it.

You should be out there doing something with it.

Like what?

I don't know. All I know is I look at you,

and I say, "This guy is something else." You're special.

You're not some regular schmo like the rest of us

who do what we do 'cause we have to do it.

You're blessed.

Benny? What?

How sick is she?

She's plenty sick.

Now, listen to me. I've been doing some thinking...

Because, you know, it seems to me that,

I mean, except for being a little mentally ill, she's pretty normal, you know?

Do you realize you could be the next Buster Keaton?

I'm telling you, Randy, listen to me.

You've got to see this guy. Tell him, Eric.

He's funny.

He's truly amazing. Will you see him?

Yeah, I'll see him. You'll see him?

Yeah. You never know.

You know, most of these guys just work locally.

But some of them, the better ones, I can book in the out-of-town clubs.

You book them out of town?

I book them all over. I book them in Detroit, Boston, sometimes LA.

Whoa! Really? Can you see him tonight?

I'd love to see him tonight.

Hi.

Is my car ready?

How you doing?

Come on in. Come on in.

Uh, listen, I want to apologize for the other night.

That all came out wrong. No. No, it's okay.

No, I really... How's my car?

Oh, it's running great. Your fuel pump was shot.

I threw in a new one, it's running great.

How much do I owe you?

Uh, I'll tell you what,

why don't you just give me 30 bucks for the part.

I'm not going to charge you for labor, all right?

Okay?

Hey, listen, if you're not doing anything later,

I just lined up this thing for Sam.

What thing?

Well, it's kind of like an audition, you know.

Maybe his chance to make a living

at all this crazy stuff that he does, you know.

Who knows? Maybe he could travel,

play clubs. I don't know, you know.

So if you're not doing anything later and you feel like...

Uh, I don't know, Benny. I've got food to deliver and apartments to rent.

My life's pretty complicated right now, you know?

Really?

Thanks.

Bye.

We'll lay out the whole routine right after dinner.

You know what you could start with?

Do you remember that roll thing you were doing in the diner?

Who died and made you Ed McMahon?

What is your problem?

This is his chance to do something, be somebody.

He is somebody.

Yeah, I know but he wants to be more.

You don't know what he wants.

I know he doesn't wanna be a housekeeper for the rest of his life.

If you're worried about getting a new Smail,

don't worry about it. We'll get a new Smail.

He's not my Smail.

Housekeeper, whatever.

We have to tell him.

What?

Tell me what?

Uh...

Benny.

Joon and, uh,

and I

are, uh...

You know.

Bullshit.

You...

No, no.

Follow me. Don't!

Get the fuck out!

You can't throw him out. I won him.

You just settle down. You just settle down.

I love him.

Yeah? Well, you are crazy.

I am not crazy.

See what we've come to?

You see?

I hate you.

I hate you!

I hate you!

I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you.

Can I get you anything?

Tapioca.

Tapioca? Hmm.

Okay.

Anything on it?

Raisins.

Okay.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. How you doing?

You're out late.

Yeah.

Listen, um...

Do you have any tapioca?

Jeez, Benny, I've heard a lot of lines in my life, but...

No, no, no. It's not for me. It's...

It's, um, for Joon.

Come on in.

Yeah? Yeah.

I can't hear you.

Joon, shh.

You okay?

Yeah. Yeah. Good, good, good.

I'm not...

No, no, I'm not.

Okay.

Joon.

Joon.

You okay? Come on.

Oh, I'm fine.

Shh.

Okay. All right.

Okay. Shh.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay.

I am not.

I am not. I am not.

I am not.

I am not.

Shh, shh. Come on.

- Shut up! - Shh.

No. No, no.

Please.

Joon, don't.

Shh, shh. Breathe.

Come on.

Shh.

Joon, please. Come on.

No. Shut up, Sam.

Sir. Sir!

Stop the bus, please.

Please stop the bus!

I don't wanna talk to you!

No!

Joon.

Uh...

All right, all right.

Can I have you step out? Yeah, okay.

How you doing, hon, huh?

You think I don't know who you are? I know just who you are!

I know exactly who you are.

So just leave. Leave.

Leave!

My name's Shane. I'm a paramedic in town here. We're just here to help.

All right? Okay.

You!

You're choking me!

Don't touch me!

What happened?

Joon? Joon!

Sir, please stay back.

Look, I am going to see my sister.

Now, would you please just tell me her room number?

Please, sir. Could you just come back in the morning?

Let me talk to her goddamn doctor!

I'm sorry.

She doesn't want any visitors,

not you or anyone else.

She doesn't want to see me?

No.

And she doesn't want to leave.

Benny, why don't you go home?

Get some sleep.

I promise I'll keep in touch.

I hope you're happy.

I hope you're happy

with what you have done to her.

You just stay the hell away from my sister.

No.

No.

You want to know why everyone laughs at you, Sam?

Because you're an idiot.

You're a first-class moron.

You're scared, Benny.

I'm what?

You're scared.

I can see it.

And I know why.

I used to look up to you.

But, uh...

Now I can't look at you at all.

♪ Come down off your throne

♪ And leave your body alone

♪ Somebody must change

♪ You are the reason

♪ I've been waiting so long

♪ Somebody holds the key

♪ Well, I'm near the end

♪ And I just ain't got the time

♪ And I'm wasted

♪ And I can't find my way home

♪ All alone

♪ Come down on your own

♪ And leave your body alone

♪ Somebody must change

♪ You are the reason

♪ I've been waiting all these years

♪ Somebody holds the key

♪ But I'm near the end

♪ And I just ain't got the time

♪ Oh, no

♪ 'Cause I'm wasted and I

♪ Can't find my way home ♪

I think that the Fred Astaire is the way to go.

Yeah? It's a good choice.

So now who was that woman who starred in, uh, Roman...

Audrey Hepburn.

Yeah. Sam, thanks a lot.

Have a nice day.

Can I help you?

Yeah, I hope so.

Hi, Benny. Thomas.

How is she? Tell me the truth.

She's been better, Benny.

All right. Well, you got to tell me what room she's in.

335. But don't even think about it, Benny.

It's a closed ward. No visitors.

No, we've got to find Joon. Please.

Thomas, you've got to get us in there to see her.

It's impossible, Benny.

What do you mean it's impossible?

Listen, I just need two minutes with her.

Benny, I'll get fired.

Thomas, I'm begging you as a friend.

I'd love to help you out, Benny,

but Garvey's gonna be in to check on her soon.

My hands are tied.

My hands are tied!

What room did he say?

3-3-5.

I'll get it for you.

There you go.

Shit.

What are you doing?

Mommy? What are you doing here?

I don't think you're supposed to be in here.

What room did you come out of?

Get the door, get the door.

How'd he get past security?

Hey, watch the door.

Joon.

Look, I know you wanna be left alone,

but you do not belong in here.

Now...

How would you like to try living in your own apartment?

An apartment? Yeah.

There's an apartment available in Ruthie's building.

You'd let me live in an apartment?

That's up to you.

I'm through making those decisions for you.

Listen, I'm...

I'm sorry I was such a jerk.

I...

And about Sam, I was wrong.

I was dead wrong.

I scared him away.

No, you didn't.

He's here.

He is not.

He's here. He got me in here.

He's somewhere in the building.

He is not.

You'd never let me have him.

God.

Why do you hate me so much?

I don't hate you.

You need me to be sick.

Juniper Pearl's chart, please.

Thank you.

Hey, wait, Wally! Wait, wait, wait!

Wally, put him down. Put him down.

He's mine. I've been looking for him.

You sure? Yeah. No, no. It's all right. I'll take care of him.

Yeah, go ahead. It's all right.

You can't be in here. Where's Joon's room?

Come on.

I've got to see her.

Come on, come on.

Can you give me any reason why I shouldn't have you arrested?

It's that one. Yeah.

See? Okay.

Sam, where are you going?

Benny, this is exactly what we were trying to avoid.

By now, Joon would be in a caring and controlled environment.

Isn't it obvious now that you two need some distance?

Why don't we ask Joon what she wants?

Sam, what are you doing?

Hey, Sam, come on. Get down right now.

I don't know exactly what I want.

I do know

that I am tired of everyone telling me what to do.

Sam, I'm...

Come on down. Don't touch that.

Sam, leave that. I'm begging you.

Joon, we want what's best for you.

I know that.

Hi.

Please, Sam, come down now.

Sam, you're going to get in trouble.

I think I want to try living in my own apartment.

I don't know.

Sam, stop swinging!

But I'm willing to let you try.

I'll prepare the papers for her release.

Thank you, Dr. Garvey.

Come down right...

Sam!

Whoa, whoa!

You okay? Ouch, ouch.

I know.

Me, too.

I'm gonna check you out.

Okay?

Okay.

Haven't we tried this before?

Yeah, but my life's a lot less complicated now.

Is Joon inside? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

♪ When I wake up

♪ Well, I know I'm gonna be

♪ I'm gonna be the man

♪ Who wakes up next to you

♪ When I go out

♪ Yeah, I know I'm gonna be

♪ I'm gonna be the man

♪ Who goes along with you

♪ If I get drunk

♪ Well, I know I'm gonna be

♪ I'm gonna be the man

♪ Who gets drunk next to you

♪ And if I haver

♪ Hey, I know I'm gonna be

♪ I'm gonna be the man

♪ Who's havering to you

♪ But I would walk 500 miles

♪ And I would walk 500 more

♪ Just to be the man

♪ Who walked a thousand miles

♪ To fall down at your door

♪ Da Da Da Da ♪ Da Da Da Da

♪ Da Da Da Da ♪ Da Da Da Da

♪ Da-da Da-da Da-da Da Da Da

♪ And I would walk 500 miles

♪ And I would walk 500 more

♪ Just to be the man

♪ Who walked a thousand miles

♪ To fall down at your door ♪