All language subtitles for The New Adventures of Old Christine S0306 The New Adventures of Old Christine

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:08,407 Isn't this beautiful? 2 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:10,742 I have always wanted to come to the Hollywood Bowl. 3 00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:13,148 (gasps): Oh, look at the stars. 4 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:14,821 Those are traffic helicopters. 5 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,688 I'm still making a wish. 6 00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:19,688 What possessed you to buy these tickets? 7 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,560 I bought 'em at a school auction. 8 00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:23,089 I bought the whole series 9 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,494 'cause I thought it made me look smart. 10 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,325 And I thought I was bidding 11 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,560 on a cotton candy machine. 12 00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:29,525 See? 13 00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:30,803 ''See?'' 14 00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:32,071 What ''see?'' 15 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,500 What did you tell her? 16 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,574 See? 17 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:35,802 You were right. 18 00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:38,835 I think it's great. 19 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,542 We live in a city full of culture 20 00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,484 and we never take advantage of any of it. 21 00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,350 Maybe this weekend we should go to a museum. 22 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,408 Pass. 23 00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:47,516 I love you. 24 00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,576 Oh, isn't this nice? 25 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,748 Thank you for inviting me, Christine. 26 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,586 Is your date meeting us here? 27 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:55,792 Shh, shh, shh, shh. Uh-uh-uh. 28 00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:57,363 No, no, no, no, no. 29 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,091 Don't do that. 30 00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:01,597 No, truth is, Bree, I-I don't have a date tonight. 31 00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:03,229 And I'm completely fine with it. 32 00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:04,604 Aww. 33 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:05,772 No. 34 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,439 No, no ''aww.'' 35 00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,538 I mean, I was dating someone. I'm not now, 36 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,840 but I'm not going to wait to live my life 37 00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,542 until I find another someone. 38 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,144 Aww. 39 00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:17,176 Besides there's nothing wrong 40 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:19,251 with being a single woman. 41 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,621 I mean look at these ladies. 42 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,119 They don't have dates. 43 00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:24,691 I think they might be dating each other. 44 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,794 That's smart. 45 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:33,288 Look, your date's here, too. 46 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,297 Say hello to Coleman. 47 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,559 That's funny. 48 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,327 You two can just chill. Oh, yeah. 49 00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:39,626 That's crazy funny. 50 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:42,637 Oh, look who's here. Oh, hey. 51 00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,140 You know, Christine, the concert 52 00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:45,342 where they play the cartoon theme songs 53 00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:46,713 isn't tonight. 54 00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:50,375 You tricked me. 55 00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,551 Wow, Christine, look at you. 56 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,520 The Hollywood Bowl, 57 00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,818 the most romantic place in Los Angeles, all by yourself. 58 00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,520 Yeah, I'm fine. 59 00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,392 I'm going to go make up with my husband. 60 00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:01,921 I swear to God you were put on this Earth 61 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,655 to scare the crap out of me. 62 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:05,661 You're welcome. 63 00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:06,863 (chuckles) 64 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,564 Well, enjoy the concert. 65 00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:10,226 You know, I never really thought of you 66 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:11,674 as the classical music type. 67 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:13,429 Why? We're very sophisticated. 68 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,297 Okay. 69 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,370 Well, the first piece is a suite, 70 00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:20,366 so don't clap between the movements, okay? 71 00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:21,838 (giggling) 72 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,835 Movements. 73 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,207 I love you. 74 00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:28,345 (gasps) 75 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,682 Oh, here we go. 76 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,547 (chuckles) 77 00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,915 Boy, I could really go for some cotton candy. 78 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,586 (classical music playing) 79 00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:01,175 (classical music continues) 80 00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:06,452 God, I hate classical music. 81 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,973 I'll tell you this right now. 82 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:24,311 I am considering seriously not letting any of you come 83 00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,808 to the next classical music concert. 84 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,339 Oh, no. 85 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,805 Yes, Matthew. 86 00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:31,548 You guys spent 87 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,279 the entire time making out. 88 00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,624 It showed a complete lack of respect for me, 89 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,749 for the other music lovers, for the music players, 90 00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:39,445 and the guy with the stick. 91 00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:41,917 Yeah, the whole night was kind of a loss. 92 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,515 I didn't really click with Bree. 93 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:44,627 You didn't click? 94 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:45,688 I heard zippers. 95 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,796 Well, yeah, we gave it a shot. 96 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:51,898 Hey, and what about those ladies in the box next to us? 97 00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,772 I thought the whole beauty of being a lesbian 98 00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,902 was that you didn't have to have sex anymore. 99 00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:59,637 Not in the movies I've seen. 100 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,509 Hey, Christine. 101 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:04,654 Would you ever let me fix you up with someone? 102 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:05,978 No, I never would. 103 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,283 Why not? We have the same taste in men. 104 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,445 No, we really don't. 105 00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,893 You've been with the two men I love most in the world, 106 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,819 Richard and my father. 107 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,262 And I'm fine with it. 108 00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:21,626 There's a guy in my office who would be perfect for you. 109 00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:24,502 He's smart. He's sweet. He's funny. 110 00:04:24,532 --> 00:04:25,802 And you know what they say, 111 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,943 ''opposites attract.'' 112 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:31,739 I can get my own men. Yeah, 113 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,672 go check your traps. 114 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,649 Well, let me know if you change your mind. 115 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,308 Bye. See ya. 116 00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:40,907 You should let her set you up. 117 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,678 I'm not ready to get into another relationship. 118 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,687 Nobody said anything about a relationship. 119 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,689 Why does everything have to be so serious? 120 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:48,991 What about just going out for fun? 121 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,392 You always get ahead of yourself. 122 00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:51,834 I do not get ahead of myself. 123 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:54,059 I'm just not ready to get married again. 124 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,504 Oh, my God. 125 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:56,899 Nobody's getting married. 126 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,730 Well, I'm not having kids out of wedlock. 127 00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,837 Oh, my God, we're talking 128 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,599 about a, a two-hour date. 129 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,837 Somebody to listen to your boring music with. 130 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:06,843 Then what? 131 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:07,984 Well, and then nothing. 132 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,738 Unless you want another date. 133 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,707 But maybe you want your next date with somebody else. 134 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,375 You can do that, too. Or not. 135 00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:16,624 And I'm in love with all of these men? 136 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,550 No, you're not in love with anyone. 137 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:19,716 You're casual dating. 138 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,053 Men do it all the time. 139 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:23,558 But I sleep with all of these men? 140 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,931 Well, probably. 141 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:33,601 What am I doing with my life? 142 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,604 I hate blind dates. 143 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,606 I hate classical music. 144 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:40,008 I even kind of hate you right now. 145 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,980 What did I do? 146 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,939 If you hadn't tricked me into marrying you 147 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,577 then we would never have gotten divorced, 148 00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:47,013 and you would never have dated New Christine 149 00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,477 and I would not be going out on a blind date. 150 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:52,747 I can't tell you how sorry I am. 151 00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,716 NEW CHRISTINE: Oh, good. 152 00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:55,885 They're already here. 153 00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:57,023 Richard, Christine, 154 00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,557 this is my friend Timmy. 155 00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:59,892 Timmy, that's her. 156 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:00,887 Old Christine. 157 00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:05,373 Oh, my God, he's, like, ten. 158 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,740 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 159 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,910 Pleased to meet you. Timmy, is it? 160 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,409 Uh, yes, sir. 161 00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,081 Okay, take it easy on me there, big guy. 162 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,108 Scoot over so your date can sit down. 163 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:19,114 Oh, no, no, no, no. 164 00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,916 It's good to meet you, Christine. 165 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,919 I've heard a lot about you. 166 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,921 Wow, uh, Christine was right. 167 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:26,993 You are gorgeous. 168 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:30,060 Ah, yeah, maybe, maybe, 169 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,130 maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. 170 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:47,482 Okay, switch places with me. 171 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,008 Oh, do you need me to take him to the boys' room? 172 00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:52,652 Okay, okay. 173 00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,588 What are you doing to me? 174 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:00,620 Isn't he great? 175 00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,824 He's 12. 176 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,186 Oh, I don't think so. 177 00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:05,494 I think he's in his 20s. 178 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,726 Yeah! 179 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,631 What's wrong? 180 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,003 What's wrong? 181 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,501 I-I'm like ten years older than him. 182 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,574 Your bra is ten years older than him. 183 00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,707 Yeah. 184 00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:23,139 The store where I bought it isn't even open anymore. 185 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,206 I didn't even think about his age. 186 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,205 Age is just a number to me. 187 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:28,547 And he's nice. 188 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,082 And you're... 189 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,517 single. 190 00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,552 Who cares about his age? 191 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,217 Yeah, easy for you to say. 192 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,985 You've still got elastic in your bra. 193 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,734 Oh, I'm not wearing a bra. 194 00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:39,759 Okay, stop it! 195 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,803 Stop it! 196 00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:45,229 Look, it really doesn't matter. 197 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:46,795 It's just a date. 198 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,144 Men date younger women all the time. 199 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,538 Yeah, I know men do do it all the time. 200 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,071 But just because men do it, 201 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,705 does that mean I have to do it? 202 00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:54,941 Ugh. 203 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,135 Oh, God. All right, move. 204 00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:03,879 Oh, hey, Christine. Hey, Ritchie. 205 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,617 Wow, you're lucky he sits so still. 206 00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:12,087 I have to bring a DVD player for my kids. 207 00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:16,564 Okay, you know, 208 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,067 I can't do this. 209 00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:20,068 Christine, you seem uncomfortable. 210 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,570 Yeah, well... Is everything okay? 211 00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,042 I mean, you know, I'm sorry, 212 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,840 but the age difference feels a little... 213 00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,883 Are, are you really a lawyer? 214 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:30,778 Well, I haven't passed the bar. 215 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:33,651 Can you go into a bar? 216 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:35,651 Yes, yes. 217 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,593 Look, I know, I have a, a baby face. 218 00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,218 But I'm not as young as I look. 219 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,722 Okay. Hey, can't we just enjoy the evening? 220 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,255 I-I don't want you to be uncomfortable, 221 00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:45,260 but I'm very happy to be here. 222 00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:47,602 I love classical music. It's a beautiful night. 223 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,658 I get to stay up past my bedtime. 224 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:54,202 Well, I just feel ridiculous. 225 00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:55,574 Really? 226 00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:56,973 Because you look beautiful. 227 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:59,874 Oh, okay, yeah... 228 00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:03,337 Look... I'm sure you're a really nice person, Tim. 229 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,906 Timmy. Tim. It's Tim. 230 00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:09,077 Okay, but this is not going to work. 231 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,616 I mean, you couldn't have been expecting 232 00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,621 somebody my age, either. 233 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:15,623 Well, I knew you'd be a little bit older, but I-I don't care. 234 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,626 I mean, we haven't even had a conversation yet. 235 00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,258 Don't you think it's a little shallow 236 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,762 to decide that you don't like me just based on a number? 237 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,765 Well, yeah, but your number is so small, 238 00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:28,598 and my number is so big. 239 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,636 Look, let's just have our date, 240 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:31,971 and if you don't like me, 241 00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,635 we'll have some quick incredible sex 242 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,614 and go our separate ways. 243 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,649 Well, okay. 244 00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,318 (clears throat) 245 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:45,719 I guess we can... stay for the concert. 246 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:47,987 Okay, I like him. 247 00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,657 Can I get anybody a glass of wine over here? 248 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:54,032 Actually, I think we're going to want a bottle. 249 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:55,731 Okay, I love him. 250 00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:58,674 I'm going to need to see your ID. 251 00:09:58,699 --> 00:09:59,669 Oh. 252 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,300 This happens to me 253 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,044 all... the... time. 254 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,671 Not you, ma'am. 255 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,676 Not you, ma'am. 256 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,338 Oh, shoot. 257 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:10,906 I carpooled with Christine 258 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,214 so I didn't bring my wallet. 259 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:13,675 Can we vouch for him? 260 00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:14,924 Are you his parents? 261 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,918 No, I set him up with her. 262 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,350 I don't see age. 263 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,685 That's gross. 264 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,691 Okay, you know, here's an idea. 265 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,693 Can you just bring me the wine? 266 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,185 I'm sorry. I can't serve any of you unless I see his ID. 267 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:30,697 Actually, you know, I live close to here. 268 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,771 If you want, you can just drive me home and I'll get my ID. 269 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,300 Oh, no, no, no, no, that's silly. 270 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,304 I mean, you know, we don't need the wine. 271 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,306 We'll just enjoy the music. 272 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,808 (classical music begins) 273 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,880 Okay, let's go get your ID. 274 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,717 Ah, wow, 275 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,719 I have never been so happy to be home. 276 00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,721 You are a terrible driver. 277 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:56,424 Oh, no, I'm actually not that bad. 278 00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:59,256 It's just while I was putting on my ChapStick, my shoe fell off 279 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:02,732 and it got wedged under the brake for a while, so. 280 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,303 Well, luckily, it didn't distract 281 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,731 from your cell phone conversation. 282 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,066 (laughs) 283 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,070 I'm gonna go get my, uh, driver's license. 284 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,443 In fact, why don't you let me drive back, 285 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,812 and you can tend to your lips. 286 00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,436 My lips. 287 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:23,747 Your house is nice. 288 00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:26,154 So are yours. 289 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,985 Okay, I'm going to go get my license. 290 00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:35,456 (classical music ringtone playing) 291 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,330 God, I hate classical music. 292 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,926 Hello? 293 00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,438 Oh, hi, Christine. 294 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,909 This is your 9:00 fake emergency phone call. 295 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,768 What? 296 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:49,037 You asked me to call you at 9:00 just in case 297 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:51,076 you needed an excuse to get out of your date. 298 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:52,781 Oh. Actually, you know what? 299 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:55,083 I don't need it 'cause I'm having a pretty nice time. 300 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,785 I mean, at first, I thought he seemed a little young, 301 00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:59,788 but, you know, age is just a number, right? 302 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,420 I mean, men do it all the time. 303 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,124 Men do what all the time? 304 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,357 You know, date... 305 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,298 ...youngsters. 306 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:14,534 You're dating a youngster? 307 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,767 Oh, you know, he's very together, 308 00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,374 and he's got a good job. 309 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:21,035 And his house is nice, 310 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:24,114 and he drinks wine, and he likes my lips. 311 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:28,316 I might love him. 312 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,848 You're very stable. 313 00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:33,815 Hey, why is there an echo? 314 00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,424 Wait. Are you in my tub again? 315 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,825 Uh, no. 316 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,888 Hey, Matthew... 317 00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,504 Oh, damn it. 318 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,900 There better not be hair in my loofah. 319 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,274 Hey, I heard your phone ring. 320 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,042 Is everything okay? 321 00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,971 Yeah, it was just my brother, just checking in. 322 00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:54,206 Everything's fine. 323 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,581 Well, I got my ID, so if you want, 324 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,249 we can get back in the car, fight the traffic, 325 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,509 find our seats, and then order some wine. 326 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:04,848 Or, I was thinking maybe we could just sit here, 327 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,845 drink some free wine, 328 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:09,217 listen to music with words. 329 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:10,816 (laughs) 330 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:13,488 Well, I do love wine... and words. 331 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,856 (laughs) 332 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,996 So, am I imagining things, 333 00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:21,601 or did we have a little... moment back there? 334 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,874 Oh. 335 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:23,943 (soft laugh) 336 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,111 I don't know. 337 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:39,885 (woman clears throat) 338 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,090 I'm not looking. 339 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,621 I'm just getting my face cream. 340 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,885 Mom! 341 00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:48,034 Mom? 342 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:50,901 What are you doing? I told you I had a date tonight. 343 00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,301 This is your date? 344 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,900 This is your mom? 345 00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:59,137 What the hell are you doing to my son? 346 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,272 Oh, I got to go. I'm going with you. 347 00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,408 No. You are going nowhere except straight to your room. 348 00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:05,153 What? You live with your mom? What? What? 349 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,078 Where else is he going to live? 350 00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:08,924 He's an intern in a law office. 351 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,279 They don't even pay him. 352 00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,917 He's barely getting college credit. 353 00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:13,152 Oh, my God! 354 00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,021 And what is the matter with you? 355 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,516 You're 20 years older than him. 356 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,257 That has not been established. 357 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,932 Mom, 358 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,631 why don't you just... Go to your room! 359 00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,132 Go to your room! 360 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,934 God, I hate you! 361 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,396 You ruin everything! 362 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:29,965 Christine, I had a wonderful time. 363 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,273 I'll call you. 364 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,574 I'm sorry about... her. 365 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:33,935 Oh, my God! 366 00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,444 Do you have mommy issues? 367 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,335 I mean, you might as well be dating me! 368 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,507 Oh, my God! 369 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,045 (shouting): Go to your room! 370 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,250 (shouting): Listen to your mother! 371 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:46,450 You better get out before I call the police. 372 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:47,956 Oh, it's not a crime. 373 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,388 Men do it all the time. 374 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:50,622 Men are disgusting. 375 00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:52,887 Oh, yeah. 376 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,334 Get out! Oh, I-I just... 377 00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,702 I think I dropped my ChapStick on the couch. 378 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,600 But you know what? You keep it. 379 00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,202 I'm just gonna, uh, go, and, uh, 380 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,695 you... you've done a lovely job raising your son, 381 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,637 and you have a beautiful home. 382 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,113 Christine, call me! 383 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:08,941 MOTHER: Go! I'm going! 384 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,053 (music playing) 385 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,088 I am not a pervert. 386 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,492 And I was not in your tub. 387 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,134 (music stops) 388 00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,499 Why did I let you talk me into a fix-up? 389 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,158 It was a disaster. 390 00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:32,297 His mother caught us kissing on the couch. 391 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,532 Oh, my God. Is she going to call our mom? 392 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,197 You're going to be so grounded. 393 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:39,106 I know. It's so weird, but listen, Matthew, 394 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,509 now I get why people date young. 395 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,481 I mean, he was so fresh, 396 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:47,110 and his gums went all the way down to his teeth. 397 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,277 He was just so adorable. 398 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:52,286 I didn't know whether to kiss him or smell his head. 399 00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,519 But you kissed him? 400 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,024 I did both. 401 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,356 And then 402 00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:58,530 his mother walked in. 403 00:15:58,558 --> 00:15:59,688 It was awful. 404 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,056 This is all your fault. 405 00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,364 How is it my fault? 406 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,095 Well, if you hadn't told me 20 years ago 407 00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,701 that Richard was so cool, 408 00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,502 I wouldn't have married him, and then divorced him, 409 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,704 and then gotten fixed up by his stupid girlfriend. 410 00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,966 I deserved that. 411 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,036 His mother was my age. 412 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,405 She might have been younger. 413 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,013 It was so embarrassing. 414 00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,345 Why aren't men embarrassed? 415 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:22,019 I'm embarrassed. 416 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:25,019 I hate classical music. 417 00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:27,022 God, I love wine. 418 00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,224 (knocking) 419 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,491 Is Christine home? 420 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,333 Just one minute. 421 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,074 Let me check. 422 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,199 Are you kidding me? 423 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,073 I told you! 424 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,065 Smell his head! 425 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,507 Men do it! 426 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,081 I blame you! 427 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,110 Agh, stupid Richard! 428 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,076 Hi, Timmy. 429 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,245 Oh, Timmy. Perfect. 430 00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:58,724 I ran away from home. 431 00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:01,151 Oh, no. Now it's perfect. 432 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,197 (sniffles) she's... 433 00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,729 Okay, Timmy, you have to breathe. 434 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,303 (exhales loudly) 435 00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:14,302 I think I'm going to go to my room. 436 00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:16,574 She's just so mean, and I was having such a good time. 437 00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:19,443 I really felt like I was going to go all the way with you. 438 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,472 Maybe just one more minute. 439 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,213 You know what? No more wine for you. 440 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,675 Yeah, I don't feel so good. 441 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,423 All I've had today is wine and fruit roll-ups. 442 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,379 (sniffles) Feel like you need to throw up? 443 00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:34,218 Maybe I just need to lie down for a minute. 444 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,294 Poor little guy. 445 00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:38,464 I can't sleep. 446 00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,791 Who's that? 447 00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:42,827 It's Mommy's friend, Timmy. 448 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,467 Does he go to my school? 449 00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,839 No. 450 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,468 Oh, God, do you? 451 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:51,873 Christine, I really don't feel so good. 452 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,314 Okay, you know what? 453 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,440 I'm going to get you some ginger ale. 454 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:56,835 He gets to have ginger ale? 455 00:17:56,876 --> 00:18:00,276 Okay, I'll get you both some ginger ale. 456 00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,413 With a curly straw? 457 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,548 You have curly straws? 458 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:06,791 Matthew, could you please come and help me? 459 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:09,559 Do you want me to drive him around until he falls asleep? 460 00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:14,694 Shut up, and please pour the ginger ale. 461 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,797 I have to call Timmy's mother. 462 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,769 Oh, why is the phone wet? 463 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:21,228 Why are you dating a nine-year-old? Fair enough. 464 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:25,837 (classical music playing) 465 00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:27,242 Oh, Richard. 466 00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:29,444 Yeah, that's it. 467 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,506 You got it. 468 00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,884 I think your phone is vibrating. 469 00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,383 (low, mechanical humming) 470 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:37,175 Oh. 471 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,517 (humming stops) 472 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,551 Hello? 473 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,246 Let me talk to Richard. 474 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:43,655 Hello? 475 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,330 Idiot. 476 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,128 Let me talk to New Christine. 477 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,325 Hello? 478 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,773 I know numbers don't mean anything to you, 479 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,299 but I need Timmy's phone number. 480 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,835 Oh, did he ditch you? 481 00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:59,269 There's another guy at work I can set you up with. 482 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:00,806 How do you feel about older men? 483 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:04,440 Give me Timmy's number! 484 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:09,878 Where is he? 485 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,476 Shh. Shh. 486 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:12,618 (whispers): They finally fell asleep. 487 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,615 Wow. You like 'em young. 488 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,762 That's my son. 489 00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,204 Oh. 490 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,560 Cute. 491 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,297 Thank you for calling me. 492 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,773 I was worried sick about him. 493 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,600 He usually just goes around the block 494 00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:30,766 and then comes home. 495 00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,273 But he's at that age 496 00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,765 where he wants to be independent, 497 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:36,576 and I'm trying to let him, but it is so hard. 498 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,809 Yeah. Ritchie wants Heelys. 499 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,580 What were you thinking? 500 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,275 Oh, it was a fix-up. 501 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:46,917 My ex-husband's girlfriend doesn't see age. 502 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,763 Hmm. She must be young. 503 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:51,388 No bra. Oh. 504 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,700 Timmy's father moved to Arizona when he was three. 505 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,598 He's on his second 22-year-old. 506 00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:58,870 Hmm. 507 00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:01,728 And Timmy's father needs a bra. 508 00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,795 What are men thinking? 509 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,607 It makes them feel young. 510 00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:08,439 Really? 'Cause it makes me feel old. 511 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,605 Yeah. That's why I don't even go out anymore. 512 00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,453 It's not worth it. 513 00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:15,349 A TV, warm tub, bottle of wine-- that is all I need. 514 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:16,652 Maybe we should we date. 515 00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:17,823 (laughs) 516 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:18,990 I'm done dating. 517 00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,518 I've given up. 518 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,523 Oh, I don't want to give up. 519 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,685 I mean, dating's horrible, but I have to keep trying. 520 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,834 You know, I'm not going to date 20-year-olds anymore, 521 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,629 but I don't want to give up. 522 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,901 He told you he was 20? 523 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,699 Oh. 524 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,531 Please just-just take your boy and go. 525 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,437 (sighs) 526 00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:37,999 Oh, I hate to wake him up. 527 00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:40,307 He has to be at work so early tomorrow. 528 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,640 I know. Ritchie's got a math test in the morning. 529 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:43,705 Come on, sweetie pie. 530 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,483 Oh, he's such a big boy. 531 00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:46,852 Oh, he's such a big boy. 532 00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:48,679 Come on, baby, time to go home. 533 00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:50,645 Thank Mrs. Campbell for the nice time. 534 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:51,883 Thank you, Mrs. Campbell. 535 00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,418 Okay, just go. Just go. 33835

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